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1
00:01:06,121 --> 00:01:09,147
(Squeaking)
2
00:01:09,224 --> 00:01:12,125
Fraser, while resting,
3
00:01:12,194 --> 00:01:15,630
- not so much as a peep.
- (Squeaking continues)
4
00:01:20,502 --> 00:01:22,663
(Door closes)
5
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:24,932
(Fraser narrating)When I was very little,
6
00:01:25,006 --> 00:01:28,100
the thing I hated mostin all the world was resting.
7
00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:32,772
Resting was really just a kindof torture invented for peoplelike me and my sister, Brenda.
8
00:01:35,016 --> 00:01:36,984
(Grunts)
9
00:01:37,052 --> 00:01:39,577
It was one of the thingsGamma told us to do,
10
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:42,384
and everybody had to doeverything Gamma told them,
11
00:01:42,457 --> 00:01:45,585
even when everybody elsewas outside having fun.
12
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:47,594
(Dog barking)
13
00:01:47,662 --> 00:01:49,994
(Chattering)
14
00:01:55,604 --> 00:01:57,538
(Gamma)Play very nicely, children!
15
00:01:57,606 --> 00:02:00,268
Not like a troupeof cannibalistic baboons.
16
00:02:00,342 --> 00:02:02,674
(Fraser narrating) And I didmy very famous bad thing,
17
00:02:02,744 --> 00:02:06,202
'cause I was being made to rest,and it was a beautiful, sunny day.
18
00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:09,182
- Fraser's on the roof!
- No, child, Fraser is resting.
19
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:13,278
-(Child) No, no, he's on the roof!
- (Imitating clock ticking)
20
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,654
Oh, Fraser!
21
00:02:18,593 --> 00:02:21,255
I suppose he must've
climbed up the drainpipe.
22
00:02:21,329 --> 00:02:25,060
- Don't be daft. He's clamored out the window.
- (Child screams)
23
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:27,658
- Now, you all stay calm, children.
- Yes, Gamma.
24
00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:30,728
- Edward, do something. Hurry!
- Robert!
25
00:02:30,805 --> 00:02:32,796
(Yelling)
26
00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:36,640
- Fraser, stop, darling. Oh, my.
-(Girls screams)
27
00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:46,177
- Robert, get the net outside under the child.
- Good thinking, Edward.
28
00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:48,188
(Chattering)
29
00:02:55,564 --> 00:02:58,431
Get the dogs out from underthe net. They'll be crushed!
30
00:03:04,272 --> 00:03:07,264
- Fraser.
- (Giggles)
31
00:03:11,079 --> 00:03:13,343
Watch yourself, sir.
32
00:03:13,415 --> 00:03:15,940
Edward, get a rope!
33
00:03:16,017 --> 00:03:19,350
(Fraser narrating) My dad didn'twant us to go into our attic,
34
00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,685
so he told usthat was where the devil lurked.
35
00:03:21,756 --> 00:03:25,920
- Ever since, I've been terrified ofthe word ''lurked'' - (Girl screams)
36
00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:29,088
He's round the front,
Mr. Pettigrew!
37
00:03:29,164 --> 00:03:32,065
- Huh?
- Yes, but which direction?
38
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,407
Our house is probably too big, which is why my mum kept having babies,
39
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:41,408
so that we can keep itfilled up.
40
00:03:43,812 --> 00:03:46,280
- Fraser! Yoo-hoo!
- Fraser!
41
00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:51,008
Fraser!
42
00:03:51,086 --> 00:03:53,884
She could've just as easily beenan opera singer.
43
00:03:53,955 --> 00:03:56,480
She auditioned for the greatBlanche Marquese,
44
00:03:56,558 --> 00:03:59,652
but then she met my dad and threwaway her opera career for love.
45
00:03:59,728 --> 00:04:04,427
- Fraser! Please, darling.
-(Fraser) Woof!
46
00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:07,161
Woof! Woof!
47
00:04:07,235 --> 00:04:09,396
- Woof!
- Woof, woof!
48
00:04:11,573 --> 00:04:13,507
Woof!
Woof, woof!
49
00:04:13,575 --> 00:04:17,443
- Woof! Woof, woof!
- Woof, woof!
50
00:04:17,512 --> 00:04:21,346
- Woof, woof!
- Woof!
51
00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:23,350
- Woof!
- Woof!
52
00:04:23,418 --> 00:04:26,319
Woof, woof! Woof!
53
00:04:30,025 --> 00:04:32,858
(Cheering)
54
00:04:32,927 --> 00:04:38,263
The only language that me and my dadboth really understood was dog.
55
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:40,927
(Barking)
56
00:04:41,002 --> 00:04:43,266
It was our abilityto communicate in dog...
57
00:04:43,338 --> 00:04:46,136
that led him to me on the roofand saved my life.
58
00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:48,767
-(Dog barking)
- Woof! Woof!
59
00:04:50,645 --> 00:04:54,775
I'm ten now, and me and my daddon't talk dog much anymore.
60
00:04:54,849 --> 00:04:57,409
Jump right onto the tailwind,
and up you go! There you are.
61
00:04:57,485 --> 00:05:01,080
My dad is amazing.He's an inventor and a genius.
62
00:05:01,156 --> 00:05:06,560
Sometimes he combines his mechanicalgenius with his great love for Beethoven.
63
00:05:06,628 --> 00:05:09,563
(Beethoven's 5th symphony)
64
00:05:17,972 --> 00:05:19,906
(Dogs whimpering)
65
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:25,609
- (Barking)
- Daddy's coming! Daddy's coming!
66
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,614
Daddy's coming!
67
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:32,310
(Laughing)
68
00:05:36,624 --> 00:05:41,823
Semi-submersiblevulcanized Pantaloon.
69
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,831
A boon to tradesmenand gentry alike.
70
00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:50,166
Say good-bye to soppy trousers.
Wave farewell to drippy socks.
71
00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:53,105
Daddy, Daddy!
72
00:05:53,174 --> 00:05:57,508
After his water triumph, Dad's next ambition is to conquer the air.
73
00:05:57,579 --> 00:05:59,638
(Cheering)
74
00:06:00,815 --> 00:06:03,306
It's seven yearssince my famous bad thing,
75
00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:05,545
and I still don't haveany fear of heights.
76
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:09,454
- Ready, Fraser?
- Ready, Dad!
77
00:06:09,524 --> 00:06:13,085
He says that's why I'm such a helpto him with his flying experiments.
78
00:06:13,161 --> 00:06:16,187
(Crowd)Seven, six, five,
79
00:06:16,264 --> 00:06:19,233
four, three, two,
80
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,768
one!
81
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,153
(Dog barking)
82
00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:52,500
- Look, an airplane!
- It's gorgeous!
83
00:07:13,688 --> 00:07:15,622
(Chattering)
84
00:07:18,426 --> 00:07:22,863
Welcome to Kiloran!I'm Edward Pettigrew.
85
00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:26,931
Bonjour.
Sorry-- hello.
86
00:07:27,001 --> 00:07:31,370
I'm Gabriel Chenoux, the emperor of the air.
(Coughing)
87
00:07:31,439 --> 00:07:34,033
I have a problem with my--
(Coughing continues) my filter.
88
00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:37,077
- Do you know about engines?
- Perhaps.
89
00:07:37,145 --> 00:07:39,375
- Oh, this is amazing.
- Let's see if there's something--
90
00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:43,508
I seem to have landed
in some sort of Shangri-La here.
91
00:07:43,585 --> 00:07:48,887
Some hidden world where angels walk
upon the surface of the earth.
92
00:07:48,957 --> 00:07:54,190
A paradise from whence
no human heart may leave unscorched.
93
00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:56,992
Well, Mr. Chenoux--
(Chuckles)
94
00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:01,868
He just dropped out of the sky
like Daedalus.
95
00:08:01,936 --> 00:08:05,201
- Daedalus? Who's Daedalus?
- Icarus.
96
00:08:05,273 --> 00:08:08,674
- Daedalus was the father.
- I meant Icarus,
97
00:08:08,743 --> 00:08:11,337
the one who flew
too close to the sun.
98
00:08:11,412 --> 00:08:13,846
(Sighs) That's him?
99
00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:17,578
Except Icarus didn't have a sheepskin flying helmet on or goggles or a big coat.
100
00:08:17,652 --> 00:08:20,143
All he had on was a pair
of golden swimming trunks.
101
00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:23,190
Fraser, don't use
language like that.
102
00:08:23,258 --> 00:08:25,419
''Swimming trunks''
103
00:08:25,493 --> 00:08:29,589
Anyway, Icarus fell
and landed on his head...
104
00:08:29,664 --> 00:08:32,098
and burst open and died.
105
00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:35,033
We might well have something
up our sleeves for you.
106
00:08:35,103 --> 00:08:37,401
You know, even if I would have
found a place to land,
107
00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:41,306
I would've had to send somebody
to Carlisle for a motor truck.
108
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:44,834
Well, we may not be at the forefront
of aerodynamical mechanics, Mr. Emperor,
109
00:08:44,913 --> 00:08:47,677
but I'm sure my men can
rustle up an air filter...
110
00:08:47,749 --> 00:08:49,910
from available materials,wouldn't you say, Jim?
111
00:08:49,984 --> 00:08:52,111
What would that be,
Mr. Pettigrew?
112
00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:54,120
I was just thinking that
what might do the trick...
113
00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:58,522
in terms of replacing the air filter
might well be some of our Sphagnum.
114
00:08:58,593 --> 00:09:00,652
Sphagnum?
115
00:09:00,728 --> 00:09:03,822
You are, at this moment, Mr. Emperor,
privileged to be standing...
116
00:09:03,898 --> 00:09:06,264
in the only Sphagnum
moss factory in Europe.
117
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,700
- And the biggest.
- And the best.
118
00:09:08,770 --> 00:09:12,536
My father invented and patentedthe Pettigrew Power Intensifier.
119
00:09:12,607 --> 00:09:16,270
Did he, you say?
Flabbergasting.
120
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:19,074
- Flabbergasting.
- It fits onto the carburetor.
121
00:09:19,147 --> 00:09:22,480
Mr. Emperor, are you going to let
us have a ride in your airplane?
122
00:09:23,952 --> 00:09:27,615
Well, I think it's up to
your father to say. Ask him.
123
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:30,123
Dad, can I?
124
00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:44,728
(Fraser narrating)Dad says the view of Kiloran...
125
00:09:44,806 --> 00:09:47,639
was a sight he would treasurefor the rest of his life...
126
00:09:47,709 --> 00:09:50,439
and that we alllooked like bugs.
127
00:09:50,511 --> 00:09:54,607
But he says I'm far too youngto go up in the plane.
128
00:09:54,682 --> 00:09:57,276
It was seeing Kiloran from upin the emperor's airplane...
129
00:09:57,352 --> 00:09:59,912
that gave himone of his best ideas.
130
00:10:04,025 --> 00:10:08,018
It was during the Great War thatwe first started mining moss.
131
00:10:08,096 --> 00:10:10,621
It was used forputting on soldiers' wounds...
132
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:13,360
because it was ten times moreabsorbent than cotton wool.
133
00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:15,629
So when they werehorribly wounded,
134
00:10:15,703 --> 00:10:19,969
it was our moss that soaked up their blood and guts and everything.
135
00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:23,101
This is, by far,
the most effective solution.
136
00:10:23,177 --> 00:10:26,772
You could see it so clearly from the airplane.
We reroute the moss trail through hillside,
137
00:10:26,848 --> 00:10:29,009
and we save a three-mile journey
to the pressing plant.
138
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,449
Aye if you say so,
Mr. Pettigrew.
139
00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:34,784
Just lay the charges, Andrew. Let me
worry about the logistical planning.
140
00:10:34,856 --> 00:10:37,552
Good Lord. What's that buffoon
doing now, Mother?
141
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:40,458
Let me handle this, Morris.
142
00:10:40,528 --> 00:10:43,793
- Give us a hand with that, will you?
- Edward!
143
00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:48,029
Edward!
144
00:10:48,102 --> 00:10:51,037
I don't think Mrs. Macintosh
will be too pleased.
145
00:10:51,105 --> 00:10:55,838
Oh, that'll be the cavalry arrived. Master
Morris there--a right hard-nosed bugger.
146
00:10:55,910 --> 00:11:00,745
If I know Master Morris there'll be no more of
this damned foolish dynamiting nonsense.
147
00:11:00,815 --> 00:11:03,375
He'll not be keen to see
his inheritance blown to pieces.
148
00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:06,716
I have never
in all my born days...
149
00:11:06,788 --> 00:11:09,848
witnessed such
irresponsible behavior.
150
00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:12,484
The estate is not yours,
Edward, to go around...
151
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:16,121
destroying and exploding
without so much as by-your-leave.
152
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:19,689
And besides, you'll
frighten the sheep!
153
00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:22,235
What makes you think
it's yours to blow up, Edward?
154
00:11:22,303 --> 00:11:26,399
Sheer bloody-mindedvandalism, I should say.
155
00:11:30,445 --> 00:11:33,278
(Car doors slam, engine starts)
156
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:40,386
Andrew, tell the men to pack up
when they've cleared this.
157
00:11:40,455 --> 00:11:43,720
- We'll be doing no more blasting today.
-Right, Mr. Pettigrew.
158
00:11:47,328 --> 00:11:51,264
-Andrew Burns says it was a very good
- idea, Dad does he? Ah, well.
159
00:11:51,332 --> 00:11:54,392
Uncle Morris has rolled back
into town,
160
00:11:54,469 --> 00:11:59,463
and Gamma thinks Uncle Morris knows
best when it comes to managing Kiloran,
161
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:03,408
even though he lives 500 miles away and
only shows his face once in a blue moon.
162
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:05,878
I know. And he's
a right hard-nosed bugger.
163
00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:09,849
- Fraser Pettigrew!
- What's a blue moon, Dad?
164
00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:15,880
- (Growling, barking)
- (Barking)
165
00:12:19,193 --> 00:12:21,388
(Fraser narrating)My dad has two obsessions.'
166
00:12:21,462 --> 00:12:23,623
Beethoven and the Bible.
167
00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:28,101
-As usual, every Sunday,we have to listen
to him preach. - Mens Sana in corpore sano--
168
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:33,434
-a healthy mind in a healthy body.
- (Giggling)
169
00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:37,672
But what is it we mean whenwe speak of a healthy mind?
170
00:12:37,745 --> 00:12:42,614
- We mean a direct, manly attitude
towards our faith. - (Whimpering)
171
00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:47,017
Now, I take my text today from the words of the glorious hymn by William Blake.'
172
00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:52,185
''Bring me my bow of burning gold,Bring me my arrows of desire''
173
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:54,728
Until we have built Jerusalem--
174
00:12:54,795 --> 00:12:57,628
Uncle Morris says our minister'sliver is going to explode.
175
00:12:57,698 --> 00:13:01,794
But if you're a minister, you'll gostraight to heaven, won't you?
176
00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:05,396
Dad, when people die
and go to heaven,
177
00:13:05,473 --> 00:13:07,566
does everybody get
a house of their own?
178
00:13:07,642 --> 00:13:09,576
- To live in?
- Uh-huh.
179
00:13:09,644 --> 00:13:14,377
Well, heaven is like living in the place
you love best for all eternity.
180
00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:17,246
So it'd be just like staying here,
then, wouldn't it?
181
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,718
It'd be like
not dying at all.
182
00:13:19,787 --> 00:13:23,883
Fraser, that's very poetically put,
and it's very apt.
183
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:25,983
I was just thinking something
along those lines myself...
184
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:28,255
about the nature of home.
185
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:30,263
Don't forget to wash
your hands, now, Finlay.
186
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:34,267
In pastures green
187
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:36,735
(Grunts, sighs)
188
00:13:37,805 --> 00:13:40,273
Magnificent.
189
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:43,674
Norwegian pine,
Sitka spruce.
190
00:13:43,744 --> 00:13:47,441
- What are they, Uncle Morris?
- Commercial softwoods.
191
00:13:47,515 --> 00:13:52,077
- What's a commercial softwood? - It's what your
father should be planting instead of his moss.
192
00:13:52,153 --> 00:13:55,611
Trees for the paper
and timber industry,
193
00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:59,421
not handfuls of sphagnum moss
from out of a filthy bog.
194
00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:02,087
(Woman)You'll miss Sunday lunch!
195
00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:05,462
Ah. Come on-- lunch.
196
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:07,660
Donald, Finlay, come on-- lunch!
197
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:10,761
- I'm coming, Mr. Macintosh! I'm coming,Uncle Morris! I'm coming!
198
00:14:10,838 --> 00:14:13,500
(Fraser narrating) My uncle Morrishad made his fortune in Liverpool...
199
00:14:13,574 --> 00:14:18,841
and his home in London, when he wasn'tnightclubbing around Paris and Monte Carlo.
200
00:14:18,913 --> 00:14:21,541
He always brings the latestjazz records with him,
201
00:14:21,616 --> 00:14:24,949
mostly to irritate my father.
202
00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:28,045
One time I heard him tell my dadthat he'd kick us out of Kiloran...
203
00:14:28,122 --> 00:14:32,218
once he'd inherited it, and that we'dhave to live in the moss factory.
204
00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:35,387
But Dad said Uncle Morriswas only kidding.
205
00:14:35,463 --> 00:14:37,931
We reckon he's a good laugh,our uncle Morris.
206
00:14:37,999 --> 00:14:40,991
Who's this? Who's this?
(Hiccuping)
207
00:14:41,068 --> 00:14:44,663
- Reverend Finlayson!
- (Laughing) Yes!
208
00:14:44,739 --> 00:14:47,071
- Good!
- I saw him drinking out of the Bible.
209
00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:50,269
Oh! He had a drink
out of the Good Book, did he?
210
00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:53,575
- (Laughing)
- Oh, well, there you are.
211
00:14:53,648 --> 00:14:57,516
Here, I think I'll sit here a moment.
Hold this, Finlay.
212
00:14:57,585 --> 00:14:59,951
Gamma doesn't let Father
smoke in the house.
213
00:15:00,021 --> 00:15:01,886
My father smokes
wherever he wants.
214
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,322
He used to have to ask
my mother, but now he doesn't.
215
00:15:06,193 --> 00:15:10,129
Uncle Morris, do you have to do everything
you're told by Gamma Macintosh as well?
216
00:15:10,197 --> 00:15:13,997
(Chuckles) Ooh, absolutely,
without a shadow of doubt,
217
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:17,902
- and seek permission for any new venture.
- What new venture?
218
00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:22,102
Well, let's say for instance--
just for an example--
219
00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:25,441
say I was of a mind
to get married.
220
00:15:25,513 --> 00:15:29,973
If old Mrs. Macintosh said no, would youhave to tell your betrothed it was all off?
221
00:15:30,051 --> 00:15:33,282
Well, let's just suppose
that my prospective wife...
222
00:15:33,354 --> 00:15:36,118
was a good deal younger
than I am,
223
00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:38,681
and she just happened
to be French.
224
00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:41,626
Is she very beautiful?
225
00:15:41,696 --> 00:15:43,755
Oh, yes.
226
00:15:43,831 --> 00:15:46,129
Oh, yes, Finlay.
227
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,293
Is she as beautiful
as my mother?
228
00:15:48,369 --> 00:15:51,099
(Chuckling) You think Moira's
beautiful, huh?
229
00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:54,164
- My wee sister, beautiful? (Laughs)
- Of course I do.
230
00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:56,971
Father says, ''My, my, you're looking
beautiful today.
231
00:15:57,044 --> 00:15:59,444
Fancy slipping upstairs
for a slank, Moira?''
232
00:15:59,513 --> 00:16:02,573
- A slank? Is that what he says?
- (Boys laugh)
233
00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:06,984
- I must remember that.
''Slip upstairs for a slank'' - What? What?
234
00:16:07,054 --> 00:16:09,215
- (Laughing)
- Why's that funny? What?
235
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:12,054
Mister says,
''Fancy a wee slank, Missus?''
236
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:14,594
''Time for a slank''
''Thank you for a slank-you''
237
00:16:14,662 --> 00:16:16,493
(Both) Slank you, bank you,
ank you, slank you!
238
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:22,069
Hey! Hey... Fraser!
Fraser!
239
00:16:22,093 --> 00:16:23,893
Fraser! Stop it!
240
00:16:23,964 --> 00:16:25,964
You're only jealous of her
241
00:16:25,988 --> 00:16:27,988
'cause my mother's beautiful
and your mother's Dead!
242
00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:33,712
You shouldn't have said that.
That was very mean!
243
00:16:35,736 --> 00:16:37,936
And, you know, just because he
made fun of your mother
244
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:40,060
doesn�t mean to say
you can be cruel, you know.
245
00:16:40,084 --> 00:16:42,384
I want you to go an apologize
to Donald Burns.
246
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:45,108
Yes, Uncle Morris
I,m Sorry!
247
00:16:50,189 --> 00:16:53,852
The accounts are a shambles, Mother.
248
00:16:53,926 --> 00:16:58,989
Then income from this nonsensical
moss business is a pittance.
249
00:16:59,065 --> 00:17:04,560
All Dad's investment in this estate
is just... dribbling away.
250
00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:07,003
- (Kissing sounds)
-(Edward) Right!
251
00:17:07,073 --> 00:17:10,042
Boys, six breaths!
252
00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:13,510
- One, two, three, four,
- Just look at him.
253
00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:15,774
five, six!
254
00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:20,342
Let's go!
Come on, gird your loins!
255
00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,887
(All barking)
256
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:38,235
You're all bonkers!
(Chuckling)
257
00:17:38,304 --> 00:17:42,365
I mean, all this running around
naked and dog behavior.
258
00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:47,105
(Chuckling) There may be a bit
of a fool in Edward, but he's a kind fool.
259
00:17:47,179 --> 00:17:50,307
Kiloran isn't a business,
Morris. It's our home.
260
00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:53,180
Your father understood that
better than anyone.
261
00:17:53,252 --> 00:17:57,052
Edward worships Moira,
and Moira adores him.
262
00:17:57,123 --> 00:18:00,251
You're just an old softy,
Mother.
263
00:18:00,326 --> 00:18:03,261
- Good Lord! Stoddard, isn't it?
- Aye, Mr. Morris.
264
00:18:03,329 --> 00:18:05,763
- Didn't I dismiss you last summer?
- (Chuckles)
265
00:18:05,831 --> 00:18:09,062
- Mr. Pettigrew brought you back,
did he? Typical. - Uh-huh.
266
00:18:09,135 --> 00:18:12,696
You know, Mother, I think it's time
I sorted this place out.
267
00:18:12,772 --> 00:18:17,038
I mean, it's just bedlam,
like a zoo!
268
00:18:17,109 --> 00:18:20,044
(All barking)
269
00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:22,774
No, Daddy! Daddy, no!
270
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,477
Whoa!
271
00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:33,086
Procrastination only intensifies
the sensation of shock, boys!
272
00:18:33,159 --> 00:18:35,923
I'm clean, Daddy, I promise you.
I'm very, very clean!
273
00:18:35,995 --> 00:18:38,520
Ha-ha-ha!
274
00:18:38,597 --> 00:18:42,260
It's not healthy, Father.Dr. Gebbie said I had to tell you.
275
00:18:42,334 --> 00:18:44,632
It could make your heart stop.
276
00:18:44,703 --> 00:18:46,830
- I'm gonna run and hide in the woods.
- Fraser, no!
277
00:18:46,906 --> 00:18:49,170
Fraser, come back!
278
00:18:54,313 --> 00:18:58,010
- (Growling)
- (Screaming)
279
00:18:58,083 --> 00:19:02,577
- (Whimpering)
-(Fraser) That was the firsttime that I saw the hairy man.
280
00:19:02,655 --> 00:19:05,089
(Screaming)
281
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:10,993
- No one else saw him. He must
have been a figment. - (Shouting)
282
00:19:11,063 --> 00:19:13,759
Anyway, I think he wasmore frightened than I am.
283
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:18,800
If you plant a boiler house anda chimney stack there, Edward,
284
00:19:18,871 --> 00:19:21,965
You will disfigure Kiloran beyond repair.
285
00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:24,475
And if you put a chimney there,
dear, the smoke will blow...
286
00:19:24,543 --> 00:19:27,603
into the nursery, dear--
we'll poison our children.
287
00:19:30,716 --> 00:19:32,650
Uh-huh.
288
00:19:35,421 --> 00:19:37,355
Aha!
289
00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:44,393
The Pettigrew Draft-Assisted
Horizontal Underground Fume Extractor.
290
00:19:53,706 --> 00:19:57,699
(Chuckles) Brilliant, Mr. Pettigrew!
291
00:19:57,776 --> 00:20:00,267
(Gamma) Really, Moira.The man's mad.
292
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:04,214
Who ever heard of a chimney
under the lawn?
293
00:20:04,283 --> 00:20:08,083
Edward's terribly practical,
Mother. I'm sure it'll work.
294
00:20:13,259 --> 00:20:16,387
What, and this is for insulating
all the new central heating pipes?
295
00:20:16,462 --> 00:20:20,865
- That's right, Andrew.
- I've never seen anything like it in my puff!
296
00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:24,733
Aye, and they've decided
to call it ''asbestos''
297
00:20:24,803 --> 00:20:28,295
Oh! Tastes like
your mother's porridge.
298
00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:33,445
Oh!
299
00:20:33,512 --> 00:20:36,242
Do you really have a fiancee,Uncle Morris?
300
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:39,716
- Do I what?
- Do you really have a fiancee, Uncle Morris?
301
00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,379
Indeed, I do, Finlay.
Indeed, I do.
302
00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:46,982
- Is she a secret?
- Well, she was until this afternoon.
303
00:20:47,059 --> 00:20:50,392
What's her name, Uncle Morris,
and where did you meet her?
304
00:20:50,462 --> 00:20:55,593
Her name is Heloise, and I suppose
I met her on a golf course.
305
00:20:55,668 --> 00:20:57,863
(Woman) Frog's legs--
that's another one.
306
00:20:57,937 --> 00:21:01,737
-Also snails and slugs.
-Ugh! -Slugs?
307
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:04,970
-That's unbelievable.
-It's disgusting, you mean.
308
00:21:05,044 --> 00:21:10,539
It's hardly likely, Katie, you would be expected to perform French cookery for the woman.
309
00:21:10,616 --> 00:21:13,983
Good, plain, Scottish farewill have to do her.
310
00:21:14,053 --> 00:21:17,648
Finest food in the world--
none of your fancy trimming�s...
311
00:21:17,723 --> 00:21:19,657
- (Chuckles)
- or garlic.
312
00:21:19,725 --> 00:21:24,719
I ate garlic once. I was confined to my
bed for nearly a month with rheumatic pains,
313
00:21:24,797 --> 00:21:28,756
- and even a little gout.
- You went to bed with a little goat, Marnie?
314
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:32,668
- (All laugh)
- No, dear. Not ''goat.''
315
00:21:32,738 --> 00:21:35,571
I was confined to my bed
with a little ''gout''
316
00:21:39,144 --> 00:21:42,307
Is it true Mr. Morris met his
fiancee on his golfing tour?
317
00:21:42,381 --> 00:21:47,182
Apparently she was playing
in a dance band.
318
00:21:47,252 --> 00:21:49,982
Oh, he's a great one for the dancin',our Master Morris.
319
00:21:50,055 --> 00:21:55,755
- Playing what?
- Well, apparently, it was a musical instrument.
320
00:21:55,828 --> 00:21:57,955
Maybe a glockenspiel?
321
00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:01,488
(Fraser) She plays a French cello,and her name is Heloise.
322
00:22:01,567 --> 00:22:05,594
- Aha? The French cello, Master Fraser?
- Uh-huh.
323
00:22:05,671 --> 00:22:09,038
Uncle Morris was having a whiskey
and soda to buck up his spirits...
324
00:22:09,108 --> 00:22:12,339
after losing to a dreadful bogie on the 17th,
325
00:22:12,411 --> 00:22:15,778
when this beautiful music
wafted into the room.
326
00:22:15,848 --> 00:22:21,377
He went through to see what it was, and he
saw Heloise bowing her cello in the French trio.
327
00:22:21,453 --> 00:22:24,183
And he said to himselfthere and then,
328
00:22:24,256 --> 00:22:26,622
''That's the girl for you,Morris, my boy''
329
00:22:26,692 --> 00:22:31,356
He asked the leader of the trio if thelovely cellist would play him a solo.
330
00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:33,762
He requested
''Le Cygne'' by Saint-Saens...
331
00:22:33,832 --> 00:22:36,824
'cause he knew it was French,
and he wanted to impress her.
332
00:22:36,902 --> 00:22:42,340
The very next day he took her to RobbieBurns' cottage for a cream tea...
333
00:22:42,408 --> 00:22:46,208
and asked her if she'd do him
the honor of becoming his wife.
334
00:22:46,278 --> 00:22:51,477
Oh! I think that's so lovely,
so sad as well.
335
00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:54,849
- I think that makes you want to weep!
-Get a hold of yourself, Sarah.
336
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,048
What was it again that Mr. Morris asked
his fianc�e to play for him, Master Fraser?
337
00:22:58,123 --> 00:23:00,421
''Le Cygne'', which means ''the swan.''
338
00:23:00,492 --> 00:23:03,222
-It's French for ''swan''
- (Weeping) That is so beautiful!
339
00:23:03,295 --> 00:23:06,787
''The swan'' Would that be a song you
would know yourself, Fraser?
340
00:23:06,865 --> 00:23:09,561
Uh-huh. Mumsie has it
on a gramophone recording.
341
00:23:09,635 --> 00:23:11,830
It's this:
342
00:23:11,904 --> 00:23:14,702
(Hums, imitating cello)
343
00:23:19,511 --> 00:23:23,242
(Cello)
344
00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:08,493
(Ends)
345
00:24:14,199 --> 00:24:16,724
- Ah, that was beautiful, Heloise!
- Thank you so much.
346
00:24:16,802 --> 00:24:21,796
- I see you're wearing the choker. - I wonder
whether you and I might have a talk, Mother.
347
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:25,901
You could just see that swan.
348
00:24:25,978 --> 00:24:30,745
It would be my pleasure to conduct you on a
personal tour of the Pettigrew world of moss.
349
00:24:30,816 --> 00:24:33,307
- I'd like that very much. Thank you
so much. - That was lovely.
350
00:24:33,385 --> 00:24:35,819
- I adored it! It was lovely.
- Uncle Morris?
351
00:24:37,389 --> 00:24:40,017
What, Fraser?
352
00:24:40,092 --> 00:24:42,026
Good luck, Uncle Morris.
353
00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:03,670
The moss itself has properties which are one
at the same time both antiseptic and--
354
00:25:03,748 --> 00:25:06,945
- Sphagnum is ten times more
absorbent than cotton wool. - Oh!
355
00:25:07,018 --> 00:25:09,452
These women we see here are
the cutters and the balers.
356
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,114
(Woman) Afternoon,Mr. Pettigrew, sir.
357
00:25:14,992 --> 00:25:20,328
Ahey, Cyric! Brawn, bonny afternoon
of it we're having, my lassie!
358
00:25:20,398 --> 00:25:22,423
(Chuckling)
359
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:26,903
It's an advantage to have a working
knowledge of the local vernacular.
360
00:25:26,971 --> 00:25:30,099
- The cutters and the balers--
- The cutters have the job of cutting the moss.
361
00:25:30,174 --> 00:25:32,802
- And the balers--
- The balers have the job of doing the baling.
362
00:25:32,877 --> 00:25:34,811
- Fraser--
- Oh!
363
00:25:36,781 --> 00:25:40,774
A considerable quantity of water has
to be removedfrom the moss...
364
00:25:40,851 --> 00:25:43,684
- before it can be racked
in the drying shed-- - For drying!
365
00:25:43,754 --> 00:25:47,155
And we made cigars
from the dried moss. Didn't we, Dad?
366
00:25:48,893 --> 00:25:51,384
It is not one of our better ideas.
367
00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:56,365
- (Whispering) Hey, Fraser.
- (Both laughing)
368
00:25:56,434 --> 00:26:00,598
Now, this is just taking
some soap down to the cottage.
369
00:26:02,907 --> 00:26:05,205
- (Laughing) Oh!
- Just one of my little--
370
00:26:05,276 --> 00:26:08,439
- What's this?
- Father made it himself.
371
00:26:08,512 --> 00:26:11,379
- Now, what we have here is the, uh--
- (Speaking French)
372
00:26:11,449 --> 00:26:13,679
A little storeroom shop
we have here.
373
00:26:13,751 --> 00:26:18,654
- We might be able to knock up
a couple of little selections--
-(Heloise laughing)
374
00:26:20,591 --> 00:26:24,152
- Look! There's Jim Menries.
- Hello!
375
00:26:24,228 --> 00:26:29,165
He's our blacksmith. He's so strong
he can crack things in half.
376
00:26:29,233 --> 00:26:31,963
Oh, that's very impressive.
377
00:26:32,036 --> 00:26:34,470
Mmm!
378
00:26:34,538 --> 00:26:36,665
(Laughing)
379
00:26:38,042 --> 00:26:39,976
(Laughing) Oh! Oh!
380
00:26:53,491 --> 00:26:57,689
Is all the moss factory
your father's invention, Fraser?
381
00:26:57,762 --> 00:27:02,529
All of it, everything! It's the only moss
factory in the entire continent of Europe.
382
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,830
Mmm, he's a very clever man,
your father.
383
00:27:04,902 --> 00:27:07,564
I know. He's an inventor
and a genius.
384
00:27:07,638 --> 00:27:09,765
Mmm.
385
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,865
What a beautiful scent.
386
00:27:11,942 --> 00:27:15,400
It reminds meof when we would catch...
387
00:27:15,479 --> 00:27:20,610
ecrevisses in the river and wrap
them in moss to bring them home...
388
00:27:20,684 --> 00:27:23,710
- when I was your age.
- What age are you now, miss?
389
00:27:24,822 --> 00:27:26,949
Hmm.
390
00:27:30,327 --> 00:27:34,286
I'm 24, but don't tell
your grandmother.
391
00:27:34,365 --> 00:27:36,265
What are ecrevisses?
392
00:27:36,333 --> 00:27:39,359
Ecrevisses are crayfish,
393
00:27:39,437 --> 00:27:41,371
ignorant little boy,
394
00:27:42,506 --> 00:27:46,067
a species of miniature
freshwater lobster.
395
00:27:46,143 --> 00:27:48,577
And very delicious to eat.
396
00:27:48,646 --> 00:27:50,910
- I-I knew that, Father. I meant--
- Well, Fraser,
397
00:27:50,981 --> 00:27:54,781
I think you've pestered Heloise with your
silly, irritating prattle quite long enough...
398
00:27:54,852 --> 00:27:57,082
- for one afternoon.
- I haven't!
399
00:27:58,889 --> 00:28:02,916
You're severely testing my patience.
Can you not see Heloise is bored stiff?
400
00:28:02,993 --> 00:28:05,689
- Now, up to the house. Up to the house!
- But Dad--
401
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:15,102
I'd like you to accept this small gift
as a souvenir of my moss factory.
402
00:28:15,172 --> 00:28:20,610
Soap, cologne and
a soothing unguent of sphagnum.
403
00:28:25,683 --> 00:28:29,847
It's you that's irritating,
and it's you that's pestering,
404
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,480
-and it's you that's ignorant!
- Ah, Fraser!
405
00:28:32,556 --> 00:28:35,423
How would you like to be the first young man to shake your favorite uncle's hand?
406
00:28:35,493 --> 00:28:38,428
Leave me alone!
I hate him!
407
00:28:38,496 --> 00:28:41,659
Fraser! What happened?
What's the matter?
408
00:28:41,732 --> 00:28:47,261
That boy is getting out of control. His father
had better take a firmer hand with him.
409
00:28:47,338 --> 00:28:50,000
One tantrum hot on the heels
of another.
410
00:28:50,074 --> 00:28:52,201
Fraser.
411
00:28:53,277 --> 00:28:55,211
Fraser?
412
00:28:56,914 --> 00:28:58,848
Whoo-hoo!
413
00:28:58,916 --> 00:29:01,180
Oh. Fraser.
414
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,654
Fraser!
415
00:29:05,956 --> 00:29:08,356
Come talk to Mumsie, darling.
(Knocks on door)
416
00:29:29,246 --> 00:29:31,237
Enchante.
417
00:29:31,315 --> 00:29:33,215
(Sniffles)
418
00:29:44,061 --> 00:29:45,722
Enchante.
419
00:29:49,967 --> 00:29:52,868
(Humming)
420
00:29:52,937 --> 00:29:54,871
(Footsteps receding)
421
00:30:05,115 --> 00:30:07,174
(Piano)
422
00:30:07,251 --> 00:30:11,745
(Fraser) It's Dad's fault I'm ignorant, because he never tells me about anything useful.
423
00:30:11,822 --> 00:30:15,553
If you ask him why Beethoven is so wonderful, he says stuff like,
424
00:30:15,626 --> 00:30:20,029
(In Unison with narration) Beethoven
is the sound of God talking in His sleep.
425
00:30:20,097 --> 00:30:23,726
And if you ask him why he hates jazz,he says things like,
426
00:30:23,801 --> 00:30:28,932
(Unison) Jazz is the sound of the devil
sniggering at our folly, Fraser.
427
00:30:29,006 --> 00:30:31,736
-So you end up not knowing anything--
- (Continues)
428
00:30:33,277 --> 00:30:36,735
except now I know for surethe devil doesn't lurk in our attic,
429
00:30:36,814 --> 00:30:38,941
because that's where I lurk.
430
00:30:40,017 --> 00:30:42,679
The devil lurkswherever he wants.
431
00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:45,779
He's like me,'he isn't afraidof heights either.
432
00:30:58,302 --> 00:31:02,136
I've decided to read allof Grandpa Macintosh's books...
433
00:31:02,206 --> 00:31:05,334
so that I know morethan my dad does.
434
00:31:05,409 --> 00:31:08,674
Someone has writteninside the cover--
435
00:31:08,746 --> 00:31:13,740
''Dearest Samuel, Forbidden fruitsare always the sweetest.
436
00:31:13,817 --> 00:31:19,187
I have many things I'd like to teach you,if only we could find the opportunity.
437
00:31:19,256 --> 00:31:24,353
The very thought arouses meto lubricious ecstasies''
438
00:31:26,430 --> 00:31:28,364
Probably a golfing friend.
439
00:31:28,432 --> 00:31:31,196
(Chattering)
440
00:31:37,941 --> 00:31:40,774
Well, if you're ready, sir,
I'll lead off.
441
00:31:40,844 --> 00:31:43,039
All right?
Mr. Macintosh.
442
00:31:43,113 --> 00:31:45,809
We're ready, Andrew.
You just give the word.
443
00:31:45,883 --> 00:31:47,817
(Blows whistle)
444
00:31:47,885 --> 00:31:49,819
(Dogs barking)
445
00:31:52,089 --> 00:31:54,023
Bye-bye!
446
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,355
(Cheering, laughing)
447
00:32:05,736 --> 00:32:08,671
(''Le Cygne'')
448
00:32:19,650 --> 00:32:22,551
(Footsteps approach)
449
00:32:24,621 --> 00:32:26,555
Fraser!
450
00:32:27,624 --> 00:32:30,218
I was looking for you.
451
00:32:30,294 --> 00:32:34,253
So, you enjoy Saint-Saens.
(Chuckles)
452
00:32:34,331 --> 00:32:37,129
Yes, when you played it,
Auntie Heloise.
453
00:32:37,201 --> 00:32:41,433
Was that the music you played when Uncle
Morris became smitten, Auntie Heloise?
454
00:32:41,505 --> 00:32:45,566
Listen, when nobody's around,
I want you to call me simply ''Heloise.''
455
00:32:45,642 --> 00:32:48,770
D'accord?
(Chuckles)
456
00:32:48,846 --> 00:32:52,009
Okay. Um,
do you know what this is?
457
00:32:52,082 --> 00:32:55,210
- (Plays)
- It's jazz.
458
00:32:55,285 --> 00:32:57,219
Mmm.
459
00:33:04,862 --> 00:33:07,831
Life can be so sweet
460
00:33:07,898 --> 00:33:10,765
On the sunny side of the street
461
00:33:10,834 --> 00:33:12,825
- Heloise! (Laughs)
- (Stops)
462
00:33:12,903 --> 00:33:15,895
I thought it was one of
the children misbehaving.
463
00:33:19,076 --> 00:33:22,409
Morris told me you sing.
464
00:33:22,479 --> 00:33:24,811
No. No, not--
Well, not really.
465
00:33:24,882 --> 00:33:28,147
- Well, a little bit. (Laughs)
-Ah!
466
00:33:28,218 --> 00:33:30,709
I auditioned,
but nothing came of it.
467
00:33:30,788 --> 00:33:35,885
- Ah. - Blanche Marquese thought
I might have a future, but,
468
00:33:35,959 --> 00:33:38,894
alas, it was not to be.
469
00:33:38,962 --> 00:33:41,260
Perhaps we could try a duet.
470
00:33:41,331 --> 00:33:44,129
N-Now? (Laughs)
471
00:33:44,201 --> 00:33:46,601
Yeah, I would, actually.
472
00:33:46,670 --> 00:33:48,661
Oh, on the cello. Of course. You--
473
00:33:48,739 --> 00:33:50,934
- Fantastic!
- Okay.
474
00:33:52,209 --> 00:33:55,178
(Piano begins)
475
00:34:00,784 --> 00:34:04,618
Oh, my love is like
476
00:34:04,688 --> 00:34:07,953
A red, red rose
477
00:34:08,025 --> 00:34:13,657
That's newly sprung in June
478
00:34:13,730 --> 00:34:19,259
Oh, my love is like a melody
479
00:34:19,336 --> 00:34:24,831
That's sweetly played in tune
480
00:34:24,908 --> 00:34:27,604
As fair art thou
481
00:34:27,678 --> 00:34:30,511
My bonny lass
482
00:34:30,581 --> 00:34:35,109
So deep in love am I
483
00:34:35,185 --> 00:34:39,815
That I will love thee
484
00:34:39,890 --> 00:34:42,222
Still, my dear
485
00:34:42,292 --> 00:34:47,491
Till all the seas gang dry
486
00:34:47,564 --> 00:34:52,729
Till all the seas gang dry my dear
487
00:34:52,803 --> 00:34:58,469
Till all the seas gang dry
488
00:34:58,542 --> 00:35:04,640
And I will love thee still my dear
489
00:35:04,715 --> 00:35:11,621
Till all the seas gang dry
490
00:35:16,526 --> 00:35:19,222
(Ends)
491
00:35:20,297 --> 00:35:22,231
- Mmm.
- (Speaks French)
492
00:35:22,299 --> 00:35:25,427
Waist, waist, waist--
Aye, aye, aye--
493
00:35:25,502 --> 00:35:29,871
Twenty-two, twenty-two,
aye, aye, on the waist.
494
00:35:29,940 --> 00:35:33,432
- Inside leg! Inside leg!
- (Giggling)
495
00:35:33,510 --> 00:35:36,741
- Aye-- Twenty-one, twenty-one--
- No, go away!
496
00:35:36,813 --> 00:35:41,113
- Go away! Go away! - All right, boys.
You can put your things on now.
497
00:35:41,184 --> 00:35:44,085
Oh, Scottish men.
498
00:35:44,154 --> 00:35:47,920
- Oh, it's gorgeous! - Yeah. That's
for your auntie Heloise, now, Meg.
499
00:35:47,991 --> 00:35:51,051
- It used to belong to my dear
husband's mother. - I know.
500
00:35:51,128 --> 00:35:56,532
Morris told me when he gave it to me.
I think it is the most beautiful thing.
501
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,727
I wore it on the first day
to please you.
502
00:35:58,802 --> 00:36:01,737
Well, you did please me.Morris is a very fortunate man.
503
00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:03,739
- Mumsie,
-Yes, love?
504
00:36:03,807 --> 00:36:06,298
Aunt Heloise sayswe can call her just Heloise.
505
00:36:06,376 --> 00:36:10,745
We will call your aunt Heloise''Auntie'', I think, young madam.
506
00:36:10,814 --> 00:36:13,374
Sorry, Gamma.
507
00:36:13,450 --> 00:36:16,044
(Fraser narrating) I've fallenhead-over-heels with Heloise.
508
00:36:16,119 --> 00:36:19,054
I think everybody has.
509
00:36:19,122 --> 00:36:21,249
Rhythm and timing!
510
00:36:22,526 --> 00:36:25,518
(Humming Beethoven's 5th symphony)
511
00:36:25,595 --> 00:36:29,725
This little unsuspecting fishy
hiding in the weeds, when suddenly--
512
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:34,396
(Humming) the hunter strikes!
513
00:36:34,471 --> 00:36:36,405
- (Humming)
-(Fraser narrating)My dad decided...
514
00:36:36,473 --> 00:36:41,035
-it's time to learnthe manly
art of hunting fish. - (All humming)
515
00:36:41,111 --> 00:36:43,511
Fraser, liberate your brother,
will you?
516
00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:47,778
(Humming continues)
517
00:36:52,923 --> 00:36:55,483
This means getting upbefore everybody else...
518
00:36:55,559 --> 00:36:58,392
-and standing in freezing-cold water,
- (Humming)
519
00:36:58,462 --> 00:37:01,454
and you have to sing bits of Beethovento be in the proper rhythm.
520
00:37:03,867 --> 00:37:07,268
I spent half my time learningto fish in ice-cold water...
521
00:37:07,337 --> 00:37:11,239
and half my time learning thingsout of Grandpa Macintosh's secret books.
522
00:37:12,442 --> 00:37:15,002
In one of the books,
Greek Mythology,
523
00:37:15,078 --> 00:37:20,311
there's a lovely picture of a lady and a swan, which is ''le cygne'' in French.
524
00:37:20,384 --> 00:37:25,515
Also another lady called Pacify and her pet bull which she loved hugely.
525
00:37:27,958 --> 00:37:29,892
Cast!
526
00:37:34,765 --> 00:37:40,294
I found an article about a thingcalled ''prostitution'' read it three times.
527
00:37:40,370 --> 00:37:44,170
It's one of the most interestingthings I've ever come across.
528
00:37:44,241 --> 00:37:49,907
There aren't just secret books, there are also secret engravings hidden in them.
529
00:37:49,980 --> 00:37:52,972
These are mainly of Belgian ladieswith all their clothes off,
530
00:37:53,050 --> 00:37:55,541
which is called being''in dishabille''
531
00:37:55,619 --> 00:37:57,849
Also inthe Encyclopedia of Ethics,
532
00:37:57,921 --> 00:38:01,413
it says what to do if you accidentallysee pictures like these.
533
00:38:12,502 --> 00:38:15,164
What's really great about learningthe manly art of fishing is...
534
00:38:15,238 --> 00:38:19,732
that it gives you loads of time to think about what you've read in the secret library,
535
00:38:19,810 --> 00:38:23,906
and the books give you loads of things to think about while you're fishing.
536
00:38:30,754 --> 00:38:33,587
And that's why my dadwants me out of the attic--
537
00:38:33,657 --> 00:38:36,057
because he doesn't want meto know anything.
538
00:38:38,061 --> 00:38:42,555
It probably suits him if I'm ignorant and don't know about the things he knows about,
539
00:38:42,632 --> 00:38:46,227
like the naked ladiesin Grandpa Macintosh's library.
540
00:38:46,303 --> 00:38:50,399
Well, now I probably knowmore about naked ladies than he does.
541
00:38:53,276 --> 00:38:55,210
Come on.
Come on, Doggit.
542
00:38:55,278 --> 00:38:59,009
So then if we knock that wall down there
and extend three yards that way,
543
00:38:59,082 --> 00:39:01,573
then we'll have room
for the drying machines to--
544
00:39:01,651 --> 00:39:04,984
- I love this moss.
- So do I.
545
00:39:06,123 --> 00:39:08,057
It's like a perfume.
546
00:39:08,125 --> 00:39:10,719
- Morris, of course, hates it.
- No, he doesn't.
547
00:39:10,794 --> 00:39:14,628
He wants to destroy it, all of it.
He has no soul, your fiance.
548
00:39:14,698 --> 00:39:17,826
- He has no romance in his soul.
- Edward.
549
00:39:19,202 --> 00:39:21,136
(Chuckles)
550
00:39:22,439 --> 00:39:25,340
- So, uh-- (Chuckles)
- (Chuckles)
551
00:39:25,408 --> 00:39:28,036
Now, do I--
do I get the kiss,
552
00:39:28,111 --> 00:39:30,807
- like-like you did with, uh, Fraser?
- What?
553
00:39:32,182 --> 00:39:36,642
You know, how you rewarded him
for, uh, throwing moss.
554
00:39:38,155 --> 00:39:40,089
Fraser's a child.
555
00:39:45,862 --> 00:39:49,457
And you-- Morris'
child-bride-to-be?
556
00:39:49,533 --> 00:39:52,866
Edward-- (Laughing)
I don't want this talk.
557
00:39:57,507 --> 00:40:00,533
Edward, I want to go
back to the house now.
558
00:40:04,881 --> 00:40:08,442
(Heloise) Stop it!
Arrete! Please!
559
00:40:09,519 --> 00:40:11,953
- (Dog barks, growls)
- (Gasps)
560
00:40:18,870 --> 00:40:21,870
Don't ever... ever do that again!
561
00:40:25,174 --> 00:40:27,108
(Sighs) You're behaving like a child.
562
00:40:42,630 --> 00:40:44,264
-(Knocking) - Yes?
563
00:40:44,519 --> 00:40:46,647
I beg your pardon, Mr. Morris,
564
00:40:46,770 --> 00:40:50,228
but Jim's just arrived from the stationwith what looks like more guests.
565
00:40:50,307 --> 00:40:52,275
Ah! Excellent, excellent.
566
00:40:52,342 --> 00:40:56,005
Oh, yes. It's Hectorand Lillian. Good.
567
00:40:56,079 --> 00:41:00,914
Her name's Lillian, but, uh,
we call her ''Billy''
568
00:41:00,984 --> 00:41:02,918
(Chuckles)
569
00:41:09,459 --> 00:41:11,393
(Mutters)
570
00:41:16,166 --> 00:41:18,100
Ah!
571
00:41:20,470 --> 00:41:22,404
Hm.
572
00:41:24,207 --> 00:41:28,769
- We'll just, uh, put these back in
the study, will we? - Why?
573
00:41:28,845 --> 00:41:32,372
Oh, you know how Gamma
is about strong drink.
574
00:41:32,449 --> 00:41:35,612
Not that I disagree myself, especially
with Mr. Finlayson at dinner.
575
00:41:35,685 --> 00:41:39,246
Why don't you just leave them
where they were, in fact, Edward?
576
00:41:40,323 --> 00:41:42,587
Wouldn't want to appear inhospitable.
577
00:41:51,001 --> 00:41:54,767
Edward,this moss business--
578
00:41:56,072 --> 00:41:58,006
What about the moss?
579
00:41:58,074 --> 00:42:02,238
If you're going to manage this place properly,
you'll have to come up with a better scheme--
580
00:42:02,312 --> 00:42:06,214
something that'smore realistic, less childish.
581
00:42:06,283 --> 00:42:09,946
What's childish about the sphagnum moss
processing factory?
582
00:42:10,020 --> 00:42:12,488
Just look at yourself.You're a grown man.
583
00:42:12,556 --> 00:42:14,649
You're still walking around the place...
584
00:42:14,724 --> 00:42:18,125
with hanks of the stuff hanging off of
your clothes and sticking out of your hair.
585
00:42:18,195 --> 00:42:20,629
Yeah. (Chuckling)
586
00:42:20,697 --> 00:42:23,427
Look at that.
You can't get away from it.
587
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:26,594
There'll have to be some
serious changes here--
588
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:29,764
some cutbacks and the like.
589
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,172
What are you getting at, Morris?
590
00:42:33,610 --> 00:42:36,010
You're so busy wheeling and dealing,
making your money...
591
00:42:36,079 --> 00:42:38,513
that you forgotten
that we're a family here--
592
00:42:38,582 --> 00:42:40,516
a happy family.
593
00:42:40,584 --> 00:42:42,518
(Panting)
594
00:42:54,998 --> 00:42:57,023
(Bicycle bell rings)
595
00:42:57,100 --> 00:42:59,034
- Good morning, wee Fraser!
- Hello!
596
00:42:59,102 --> 00:43:04,165
You breeze in here with your exotic...
child fiancee...
597
00:43:04,241 --> 00:43:08,678
-less than half your age, and you throw
your weight around. -(Talking,laughing)
598
00:43:10,547 --> 00:43:12,481
-Ah! Just look at you two!
-Morris!
599
00:43:12,549 --> 00:43:14,710
A couple of desperados
up from the big city.
600
00:43:14,784 --> 00:43:17,082
- (Laughing)
- Morris, darling.
601
00:43:17,153 --> 00:43:20,611
- (Gasps)
-Welcome back to the pie, old chaps.
602
00:43:20,690 --> 00:43:22,817
Heloise! There you are.
603
00:43:22,893 --> 00:43:25,885
Are you all right?
604
00:43:25,962 --> 00:43:29,864
Come on, I want you to meet some friends. This is Billy and Hector.
605
00:43:29,933 --> 00:43:33,061
- This is Heloise,
- Enchante. Bonjour.
606
00:43:33,136 --> 00:43:36,469
my exotic child fiancee.
607
00:43:41,378 --> 00:43:44,176
Listen! You'll never believe
this in a million years.
608
00:43:44,247 --> 00:43:48,547
- It's for disemboweling deer. Look!
- Shh, Fraser. What, Sissie?
609
00:43:48,618 --> 00:43:52,850
One of Mr. Morris' friends is a woman
dressed up as a man, called Billy.
610
00:43:52,923 --> 00:43:55,756
Only his real name's Lillian--
her name, I mean.
611
00:43:55,825 --> 00:43:58,089
What do you mean,
dressed up as a man called Billy?
612
00:43:58,161 --> 00:44:00,391
You mean like a cowboy?
You mean like Billy the Kid?
613
00:44:00,463 --> 00:44:02,761
- You mean like fancy dress?
- Is it like a costume?
614
00:44:02,832 --> 00:44:07,428
No, that's how she's dressed--
as if she was really a man in real life.
615
00:44:07,504 --> 00:44:10,268
(Grunting) Probably a lesbian.
616
00:44:11,808 --> 00:44:15,574
Master Fraser, you'll get skinned alive
for language like that.
617
00:44:15,645 --> 00:44:18,113
They generally comefrom the Greek island of Lesbos...
618
00:44:18,181 --> 00:44:22,242
- and are called lesbians for that reason.
- Oh, Master Fraser!
619
00:44:22,319 --> 00:44:24,253
Language like what, Sarah?
620
00:44:24,321 --> 00:44:27,916
I never said a word! It's him
should get his mouth washed out!
621
00:44:27,991 --> 00:44:33,019
Although I don't think Billy or Lillian
Are traditional Greek names.
622
00:44:33,096 --> 00:44:35,030
There's no chance
one of you young lovelies...
623
00:44:35,098 --> 00:44:38,124
might find it in their hearts
to iron these for me, is there?
624
00:44:40,837 --> 00:44:45,297
(Woman) Crawford saw Jesuson the lawn this morning.
625
00:44:45,375 --> 00:44:48,401
- On the lawn.
- Who?
626
00:44:48,478 --> 00:44:52,881
Jesus--just right out there on the lawn.
627
00:44:52,949 --> 00:44:54,883
Jesus Christ!
628
00:44:55,952 --> 00:44:58,648
(Sighs) Didn't you, Crawford?
629
00:44:58,722 --> 00:45:00,656
Uh-huh.
630
00:45:00,724 --> 00:45:03,955
Jesus walked across the loch
and over the lawn towards the house.
631
00:45:04,027 --> 00:45:08,691
Was Jesus by any chancewearing a pair of Edward's...
632
00:45:08,765 --> 00:45:11,859
semi-submersible,
vulcanized pantaloons?
633
00:45:11,935 --> 00:45:15,166
(All laugh)
634
00:45:15,238 --> 00:45:17,263
I know who you mean.
635
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:20,036
I've seen him too. I saw him
down in the moss factory this morning...
636
00:45:20,110 --> 00:45:23,307
-when the lady screamed.
-(Gamma) Who screamed?
637
00:45:23,380 --> 00:45:28,443
Fraser, Jesus doesn't like little boyswho tell wicked fibs.
638
00:45:28,518 --> 00:45:31,646
- Sorry, Gamma, but--
- Sometimes Jesus might forgive a fib...
639
00:45:31,721 --> 00:45:34,281
if it's to protect a loved one
from harm, Fraser.
640
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:39,488
No. If you claim to be a Christian, and you tell a lie, you are a hypocrite...
641
00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:41,621
and not a Christian.
642
00:45:41,698 --> 00:45:46,192
You can't do a bad thing and be a good man. You can't have it both ways.
643
00:45:46,269 --> 00:45:50,899
Now, who can I help
to a little glass of this claret?
644
00:45:52,475 --> 00:45:55,501
- Minster, you'll not object to keeping
Morris company... -Oh!
645
00:45:55,578 --> 00:45:57,705
- amongst all these abstemious souls?
- Well--
646
00:45:57,781 --> 00:46:01,342
- No, there is a wedding to celebrate.
- Well, really, I don't like to--
647
00:46:01,418 --> 00:46:05,320
I really don't think I should.O-O-O-On the other hand--
648
00:46:05,388 --> 00:46:09,256
(Stammering) I wouldn't like to--
649
00:46:11,661 --> 00:46:16,997
Sissie, you must tell Mrs. Henderson her
cock-a-leekie soup's a triumph.
650
00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:20,332
I think it's meant to becream of asparagus, ma'am.
651
00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:23,338
Your trifle ready
for the cream yet, Sarah?
652
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,398
Says sherry first,
then whip cream, Mrs. Henderson.
653
00:46:26,476 --> 00:46:29,240
Oh! Right.
654
00:46:29,312 --> 00:46:32,076
You may fetch some sherry
from the cellar.
655
00:46:36,286 --> 00:46:39,983
-(Bell rings)
- Oh, right, girls-- vegetables.
Sissie, you're neeps.
656
00:46:40,056 --> 00:46:42,854
I'm potatoes. Aggie, you can be
Brussels sprouts. Come on, come on!
657
00:46:42,926 --> 00:46:45,918
(Pounds table, slurs speech)
It's the scandal of the thing.
658
00:46:45,995 --> 00:46:51,160
-Terrible suffering of the families.
- Oh, God, he's off.
659
00:46:51,234 --> 00:46:55,898
Miners have seen their wages
actually cut in half.
660
00:46:55,972 --> 00:47:00,671
It's no wonder they threaten
to withdraw labor.
661
00:47:05,682 --> 00:47:10,483
I believe I hear talk that there's to
be a bonspiel at Kiloran this winter...
662
00:47:10,553 --> 00:47:12,987
in honor of the newlyweds.
663
00:47:13,056 --> 00:47:17,584
- Who shall blame them? -Who, indeed,
Mr. Finlayson?Who, indeed?
664
00:47:17,660 --> 00:47:20,823
-Edward?
- Well, if the Lord sees fit to bless us...
665
00:47:20,897 --> 00:47:25,698
with three inches of deep black ice, that's
exactly what we'll be having, Sir David.
666
00:47:25,768 --> 00:47:28,168
What is this bonspiel, Morris?
667
00:47:28,238 --> 00:47:30,934
Curling-- slippery bowling.
668
00:47:31,007 --> 00:47:34,067
It's the Scottish nation's
greatest gift to the world-- (Chuckles)
669
00:47:34,144 --> 00:47:36,078
after golf, that is.
670
00:47:36,146 --> 00:47:39,377
Ah, it's a game, I see.
671
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:44,343
(Gamma) Mrs. Henderson,
you've excelled yourself.
672
00:47:45,488 --> 00:47:48,514
It's rarely she manages
anything so good.
673
00:47:48,591 --> 00:47:51,856
- So, are dogs allowed in? Yes.
- To heaven?
674
00:47:51,928 --> 00:47:56,228
- Dogs-- perfectly free of sin
in their hearts. - Of course.
675
00:47:56,299 --> 00:48:02,067
So heaven is full of
people's pets that have died...
676
00:48:02,138 --> 00:48:04,265
and gone to wait for them.
677
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:07,366
The Christian faith
is a very muscular thing, Heloise.
678
00:48:07,443 --> 00:48:11,140
- It isn't damaged by ridicule.
It's much stronger than-- - Temptation.
679
00:48:11,214 --> 00:48:15,207
Than duty? Than what?
What is it stronger than?
680
00:48:15,285 --> 00:48:17,719
- What about stoats?
- Quiet, Fraser.
681
00:48:17,787 --> 00:48:21,883
- Yes, what about stoats?
- I'm sorry to say that stoats are vermin.
682
00:48:21,958 --> 00:48:27,419
- In your eyes, not in the eyes of
other stoats. - In the eyes of God.
683
00:48:27,497 --> 00:48:31,991
No, I'll have another wee spoonfulof that, if you don't mind, Sissie.
684
00:48:32,068 --> 00:48:36,505
But why would any god
deliberately create vermin?
685
00:48:36,573 --> 00:48:40,304
They seem to be doomed to eternal
damnation simply for being true...
686
00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,310
to their own nature.
687
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:46,007
Because, by their nature,
some creatures are beyond redemption.
688
00:48:46,082 --> 00:48:50,314
Creatures? How would we definea creature?
689
00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:52,581
Would I qualify
as a creature, perhaps?
690
00:48:52,655 --> 00:48:55,749
A stoat is not a creature,miss.
691
00:48:55,825 --> 00:49:00,387
A stoat is a wild beast
of woods and fields,
692
00:49:00,463 --> 00:49:02,693
just like our Fraser.
693
00:49:02,765 --> 00:49:04,960
(All laugh)
694
00:49:05,034 --> 00:49:08,697
- (Giggling)
- She's on her fourth helping.
695
00:49:08,771 --> 00:49:12,104
- What? Fourth helping?
- The trifle. I can't get it off her.
696
00:49:12,175 --> 00:49:15,303
No--
not my sherry trifle.
697
00:49:15,378 --> 00:49:17,471
- (Snickering)
- Oh, my God!
698
00:49:17,547 --> 00:49:20,983
(Edward) I think it's the sweet sherrythat sort of allows it--
699
00:49:21,050 --> 00:49:24,645
(Morris) That's utter nonsense,Edward. It's amontillado.
700
00:49:24,721 --> 00:49:27,189
- My father wouldn't havesweet sherry in this house. - (Hiccups)
701
00:49:31,094 --> 00:49:35,360
Perhaps Heloise and I couldperform, Mr. Finlayson,
702
00:49:35,431 --> 00:49:38,127
raise funds for the families
of your poor miners.
703
00:49:38,201 --> 00:49:42,501
What a very Christian idea.
And what will you perform?
704
00:49:42,572 --> 00:49:46,668
-A duet, perhaps?
-(Fraser) Prostitution!
705
00:49:47,744 --> 00:49:49,769
No, really.
It's perfect.
706
00:49:49,846 --> 00:49:52,815
Mumsie and Aunt Heloise
could be prostitutes.
707
00:49:52,882 --> 00:49:56,750
They could attend to our urgent needs and earn a considerable fortune for the miners.
708
00:49:56,819 --> 00:50:00,915
They could service my dad
and Uncle Morris and anybody else...
709
00:50:00,990 --> 00:50:04,858
- who could afford their lubricious ministrations.
-(Gasping)
710
00:50:08,231 --> 00:50:11,894
Fraser, go to my studyand wait for me there.
711
00:50:11,968 --> 00:50:15,062
What? Why?
Wh-What's wrong?
712
00:50:15,138 --> 00:50:19,507
(Laughing)
713
00:50:19,575 --> 00:50:22,408
(All continue laughing)
714
00:50:35,625 --> 00:50:38,355
(Weeping)
715
00:50:38,428 --> 00:50:42,694
We're all of us prostitutes
in some manner or other.
716
00:50:42,765 --> 00:50:46,394
That's what my Samuel
used to say in business.
717
00:50:46,469 --> 00:50:49,563
(Sobbing) He's waiting for me,you know--
718
00:50:49,639 --> 00:50:52,938
Oh, I miss him.
I miss my Samuel!
719
00:50:53,009 --> 00:50:56,274
-He's waiting for me!
-Come along, Gamma.
720
00:50:56,346 --> 00:50:59,144
Come on. Let's go havea little lie-down now, shall we?
721
00:50:59,215 --> 00:51:01,911
-There we are. There we are.
-Oh, he's waiting for me!
722
00:51:01,984 --> 00:51:05,750
(Gamma continues sobbing)I miss my Samuel.
723
00:51:05,822 --> 00:51:09,417
He's waiting for me.
724
00:51:09,492 --> 00:51:12,427
He's waiting for me.
(Sobbing continues)
725
00:51:22,138 --> 00:51:26,404
It's you that's irritating!It's you that's pestering,
726
00:51:26,476 --> 00:51:28,535
and it's you that's ignorant!
727
00:51:28,611 --> 00:51:30,841
(Groans)
728
00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:34,849
- Come on, son!
- Fraser!
729
00:51:34,917 --> 00:51:36,851
Where are you?
730
00:51:38,087 --> 00:51:41,022
- Fraser!
- Fraser!
731
00:51:41,090 --> 00:51:44,082
- Where are you? Come on, lad!
- Fraser, where are you?
732
00:51:45,695 --> 00:51:48,596
(Fraser narrating) Gamma's got betternow her trifle's worn off.
733
00:51:48,664 --> 00:51:52,259
She's very angry with Sarah andsays she'll have to let her go.
734
00:51:52,335 --> 00:51:56,738
It was only from the bloody damn
dressing, Mrs. High and Mighty Macintosh!
735
00:51:59,709 --> 00:52:03,805
Jesus Christ Almighty,
Mr. Pettigrew, look.
736
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,372
(Fraser narrating) Dad dredged the
loch for his precious Beethoven busts,
737
00:52:07,450 --> 00:52:10,351
but he foundsomething else instead.
738
00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:14,117
The hairy man turned out to beAndrew Burns �cousin Alec...
739
00:52:14,190 --> 00:52:15,919
who'd been shell shockedduring the Great War.
740
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,094
And I've got pneumonia.
741
00:52:21,164 --> 00:52:24,793
(Piano playing ''Fur Elise'')
742
00:52:39,649 --> 00:52:43,210
The house is the emptiest it ever was,and it makes me think...
743
00:52:43,286 --> 00:52:47,017
of how it's going to be when Uncle Morris throws us all out onto the streets...
744
00:52:47,089 --> 00:52:51,253
and plants Norwegian pineand Sitka spruce all over everything.
745
00:52:51,327 --> 00:52:53,261
That's really scary.
746
00:52:53,329 --> 00:52:55,763
(Piano continues)
747
00:53:19,922 --> 00:53:21,856
(Gasps)
748
00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:28,519
Fraser,
749
00:53:28,598 --> 00:53:32,227
(Garbled) I think you
had better wait outside.
750
00:53:33,302 --> 00:53:36,362
But I thought
you were dead, Gamma.
751
00:53:36,439 --> 00:53:39,533
Outside, Fraser.
752
00:53:45,882 --> 00:53:47,816
(Gasps)
753
00:53:50,620 --> 00:53:52,986
(Footsteps approaching)
754
00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:04,731
I know you're unwell,
Fraser Pettigrew,
755
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:08,236
and having flights of fantasy
due to delirium,
756
00:54:08,304 --> 00:54:11,273
so we won't speak of this
to anyone.
757
00:54:11,340 --> 00:54:15,242
Is that fully and completely
understood, young man?
758
00:54:15,311 --> 00:54:18,405
I'm sorry, Gamma.
759
00:54:18,481 --> 00:54:22,247
Gamma, when you die and give
the house to Uncle Morris,
760
00:54:22,318 --> 00:54:24,809
what will happen to us?
761
00:54:24,887 --> 00:54:26,821
(Chuckles)
762
00:54:29,058 --> 00:54:33,688
Whatever happens, my love,
you'll always be looked after.
763
00:54:33,763 --> 00:54:38,166
Anyway, I'm very far
from dead, you know?
764
00:54:38,234 --> 00:54:42,671
- But I thought you'd stopped breathing
and died. - I know you did, Fraser.
765
00:54:42,738 --> 00:54:47,300
That's why we don't sneak into ladies'
bedrooms without knocking first.
766
00:54:47,376 --> 00:54:52,609
- But why? - Because we might
stumble on some dreadful secret...
767
00:54:52,682 --> 00:54:57,278
that makes our hair turn white
and haunts us all our lives.
768
00:54:57,353 --> 00:55:00,151
Is that what turned
your hair white, Gamma?
769
00:55:00,222 --> 00:55:03,521
(Chuckles) No, my love. It was
you lot that made my-- Oh!
770
00:55:03,593 --> 00:55:05,584
My hair turn white.
771
00:55:05,661 --> 00:55:08,095
Now, off you go
with Sissie.
772
00:55:12,969 --> 00:55:16,405
Oh, Master Fraser,
you're on fire.
773
00:55:16,472 --> 00:55:20,670
Sissie, is slanking something you haveto do in secret because it's wicked?
774
00:55:20,743 --> 00:55:23,576
- Fraser. - If people get caught slanking,
are they in terrible trouble?
775
00:55:23,646 --> 00:55:26,979
- Daft wee boy.
- Slanking!
776
00:55:27,049 --> 00:55:28,983
- Sissie?
- Uh-huh?
777
00:55:29,051 --> 00:55:31,679
You used to teach me a poem when you
used to bathe us before we went to bed.
778
00:55:31,754 --> 00:55:34,917
- Remember?
- I don't know any poems, Fraser.
779
00:55:34,991 --> 00:55:37,653
- Yes, you do. You taught me one.
- Which one?
780
00:55:37,727 --> 00:55:41,254
''When I was going down the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
781
00:55:41,330 --> 00:55:45,027
- He wasn't there again today''
- ''I wish, I wish he'd go away''
782
00:55:45,101 --> 00:55:48,036
- Uh-huh. Who is he?
- Who is who?
783
00:55:48,104 --> 00:55:50,334
- Who's that man, Sissie?
- There isn't any man.
784
00:55:50,406 --> 00:55:54,001
I met a man who wasn't there
on the roof. Tell me who he is,
785
00:55:54,076 --> 00:55:56,067
or I'll splash water
all over you.
786
00:55:56,145 --> 00:56:00,411
Aye, and you'll feel the back
of my hand, young man. (Gasps)
787
00:56:00,483 --> 00:56:02,747
Fraser!
788
00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:07,187
(Fraser narrating) I like Sissie.I like bath time with Sissie even more.
789
00:56:07,256 --> 00:56:11,249
In some ways, she's even better thanGrandpa Macintosh's pictures.
790
00:56:15,931 --> 00:56:20,630
(Moira) Now, you stay there
and rest, young man.
791
00:56:20,703 --> 00:56:25,800
- I want to help Dad and Andrew fire up the new
boiler, Mumsie. -Oh,you'll do no such thing!
792
00:56:25,875 --> 00:56:28,969
Now, rest, dear Fraser.
793
00:56:29,045 --> 00:56:33,038
Oh, dear.
Oh, heavens above, Edward!
794
00:56:33,115 --> 00:56:35,242
- Oh, goodness me!
- Whoa!
795
00:56:35,317 --> 00:56:38,013
Now, Gamma--
Gamma, uh--
796
00:56:38,087 --> 00:56:39,952
(Gasps) Moira!
797
00:56:40,022 --> 00:56:43,423
What on earth has that man
of yours gone and done now?
798
00:56:43,492 --> 00:56:47,656
(Andrew) I think the heat must have
cracked the joints in the pipe, Mr. Pettigrew!
799
00:56:47,730 --> 00:56:49,664
(Gamma) Edward Pettigrew!
800
00:56:49,732 --> 00:56:52,257
It's fractured
the asbestos slagging.
801
00:56:52,334 --> 00:56:55,098
- (Gamma) You've dug your own
grave this time! - (Coughing)
802
00:56:55,171 --> 00:56:57,765
Now, out of the draft and
underneath those covers, Fraser.
803
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:59,774
(Edward) Damn and blast!
804
00:56:59,842 --> 00:57:02,936
(Andrew) You know how Mrs. Macintosh
feels about smoking around the house, sir.
805
00:57:07,917 --> 00:57:11,114
Fraser, where on earth
did this come from?
806
00:57:11,187 --> 00:57:14,816
The moss factory. I think Auntie
Heloise must have lost it.
807
00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:18,087
I'll have him boiled alivein his own juices!
808
00:57:19,528 --> 00:57:22,156
(Coughing)
809
00:57:23,232 --> 00:57:25,757
Moira? What's the matter, love?
810
00:57:25,835 --> 00:57:29,931
Oh, don't be silly, dear.
I'm only wanting to give him a fright.
811
00:57:45,020 --> 00:57:47,454
(Electric motor starts)
812
00:57:54,964 --> 00:57:58,127
(Chuckles) Hmm.
813
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,966
Rotary Screen Mark III seems
a little bit brighter, don't you think?
814
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:07,406
So, Fraser, what do you think
of the camera work?
815
00:58:07,476 --> 00:58:10,309
(Fraser)Oh, it's very good.
816
00:58:10,379 --> 00:58:12,847
-Look! Here's Heloise and Elspeth!
-Yeah.
817
00:58:25,161 --> 00:58:27,391
(Edward) Oh, there's Mumsie.Wave to Mumsie!
818
00:58:45,514 --> 00:58:48,108
-Why is jazz horrible, Dad?
-Contact!
819
00:58:49,518 --> 00:58:52,180
-Lack of moral fiber.
-Not like Beethoven.
820
00:58:52,254 --> 00:58:54,654
That's exactly right, Fraser. Contact!
821
00:58:54,723 --> 00:58:58,557
Beethoven is upright and honest, whereas jazz is sneaky and treacherous and effeminate...
822
00:58:58,627 --> 00:59:00,891
-and just plain foreign. -(Andrew)Have you got it switched on?
823
00:59:00,963 --> 00:59:04,194
Of course I've got it switched on.
What do you think I mean by ''contact''?
824
00:59:04,266 --> 00:59:09,329
- Auntie Heloise likes jazz.
- Yes, well, Auntie Heloise is particularly French,
825
00:59:09,405 --> 00:59:12,966
and French ladies don't understand
the first thing about moral fiber.
826
00:59:13,042 --> 00:59:15,875
- McPherson.
- Good morning, Mr. Pettigrew.
827
00:59:15,945 --> 00:59:21,144
Aye, it's a muckle big pile of letters
today, is it now? Something for you, Fraser.
828
00:59:22,484 --> 00:59:24,418
Thank you.
829
00:59:25,521 --> 00:59:28,786
It's smelly.
Smells like Auntie Heloise.
830
00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:32,293
Don't be ridiculous.
831
00:59:36,265 --> 00:59:38,495
(Man) Morning, Master Fraser.
832
00:59:44,340 --> 00:59:46,570
So, uh, what seems to be
the problem here?
833
00:59:46,642 --> 00:59:49,406
- Ma'am. - It's right here.
- Thank you, Aggie.
834
00:59:51,013 --> 00:59:53,504
- Oh.
- Are you cold, Mumsie?
835
00:59:53,582 --> 00:59:56,915
Just a wee bit.
Always seem to be these days.
836
00:59:58,621 --> 01:00:02,990
I've run out of firelighters. You could
fetch some for me, Fraser, hmm?
837
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:06,721
- Will you pay me?
- Pay you?
838
01:00:06,795 --> 01:00:09,821
Uh-huh. I want to save up
and buy something.
839
01:00:09,899 --> 01:00:13,096
- Look. Here it is. Number 32.
- (Laughs)
840
01:00:13,168 --> 01:00:16,035
Is this what you came up for?
I thought you missed me.
841
01:00:16,105 --> 01:00:19,268
- Hmm. My goodness.
- Just the right size for my room.
842
01:00:19,341 --> 01:00:22,572
That's a lot of firelighters.
You'd best get started, young man.
843
01:00:24,813 --> 01:00:27,281
(Chuckling)
844
01:00:27,349 --> 01:00:29,283
A penny a dozen.
845
01:00:52,841 --> 01:00:56,470
(Heloise) ''Dear Edward, All I wantis to be your sister-in-law...
846
01:00:56,545 --> 01:00:58,479
and your friend.
847
01:00:58,547 --> 01:01:02,711
Please let us forget what happenedand what didn't happen.
848
01:01:02,785 --> 01:01:06,312
No one need ever know.With best wishes''
849
01:01:09,792 --> 01:01:11,987
(Andrew) Something'stroubling him. He's not himself.
850
01:01:12,061 --> 01:01:14,120
What do you think it is,
Andrew?
851
01:01:14,196 --> 01:01:16,824
Oh, worries about the estate,
I expect--
852
01:01:16,899 --> 01:01:19,800
about your uncle Morris
and the changes he'll make,
853
01:01:19,868 --> 01:01:24,271
the future, the family-- all the things
a father worries about.
854
01:01:24,340 --> 01:01:26,740
Sometimes children worry
as well, though.
855
01:01:26,809 --> 01:01:29,778
And what do they
worry about, Fraser?
856
01:01:29,845 --> 01:01:32,575
Do you think there's
something evil about jazz?
857
01:01:32,648 --> 01:01:35,310
(Chuckling) Are we having
a debate here, Fraser?
858
01:01:35,384 --> 01:01:39,013
It's a Socratic dialogue, Andrew.
It's how you find out about the world,
859
01:01:39,088 --> 01:01:41,579
how it works.
860
01:01:41,657 --> 01:01:44,251
(Sighs) I'll tell ya how it works.
861
01:01:45,527 --> 01:01:48,325
In the heart of this world
there's a molten core,
862
01:01:48,397 --> 01:01:51,127
thousands of degrees Fahrenheit
of boiling magma.
863
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:54,260
Do you know what magma is?
864
01:01:54,336 --> 01:01:56,600
Well, it's like lava, only thicker.
865
01:01:56,672 --> 01:02:00,733
The fundus of the boiling heart
moves the continents around...
866
01:02:00,809 --> 01:02:03,004
on the surface of the Earth,
867
01:02:03,078 --> 01:02:06,104
and the continents crunch
into one another to make the mountains.
868
01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:09,082
I thought--
Didn't God make the mountains?
869
01:02:09,151 --> 01:02:11,085
- In the first place?
- Uh-huh.
870
01:02:11,153 --> 01:02:14,418
Aye, well, there is
some argument about that.
871
01:02:14,490 --> 01:02:18,153
Have you carved out
your lantern yet, Fraser?
872
01:02:18,227 --> 01:02:21,492
- For Halloween? - Aye. Cassie
and Donald have done theirs.
873
01:02:23,866 --> 01:02:25,561
(Muttering)
874
01:02:25,634 --> 01:02:30,037
You'll get your shoes back
for the walk home... if you're good.
875
01:02:30,105 --> 01:02:32,164
(Fraser narrating)Halloween is a time of great evil...
876
01:02:32,241 --> 01:02:34,971
when terrible crimesand atrocities happen,
877
01:02:35,044 --> 01:02:38,207
like, for instance,a gay gordance.
878
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:41,579
We're going to start
with a gay gordance.
879
01:02:41,650 --> 01:02:45,279
Now, since some of you probably
aren't familiar with a gay gordance,
880
01:02:45,354 --> 01:02:51,259
Fraser Pettigrew and Cassie Burns
will lead us through it all very slowly.
881
01:02:51,326 --> 01:02:53,760
- Fraser?
- Mumsie.
882
01:02:53,829 --> 01:02:55,763
Fraser.
883
01:02:59,301 --> 01:03:02,236
(Piano, accordion play dance tune)
884
01:03:04,306 --> 01:03:06,638
(Tom) Come on, everybody up!Come on!
885
01:03:06,708 --> 01:03:10,474
-(Moira) All together, now.
-All the boys and girls. That's it!
886
01:03:12,781 --> 01:03:15,215
(Humming)
887
01:03:19,455 --> 01:03:21,855
(Tom whooping)
888
01:03:21,924 --> 01:03:24,893
(Humming)
889
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:27,394
(Whoops)
890
01:03:28,464 --> 01:03:30,864
That's it!
891
01:03:30,933 --> 01:03:33,197
- I warned you, Fraser Pettigrew!
- Warned me what?
892
01:03:33,268 --> 01:03:35,828
- That's it. That's it!
- What?
893
01:03:35,904 --> 01:03:38,372
- (Crowd screams, chatters)
-(Woman) Moira. Moira!
894
01:03:40,809 --> 01:03:44,210
- Edward, do something.
-Stop this nonsense!
895
01:03:44,279 --> 01:03:47,646
- All right!
-This is ridiculous. Stop it, Finlay!
896
01:03:47,716 --> 01:03:51,482
-Finlay! Edward!
- All right! All right!
897
01:03:51,553 --> 01:03:54,647
- Off! Off! Off!
- Come on! Break it up!
898
01:03:55,891 --> 01:03:58,325
- Fraser!
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
899
01:03:58,393 --> 01:04:01,123
He's touchin' my sister.
He was feelin' her ass.
900
01:04:01,196 --> 01:04:05,030
- He was feelin' my sister's ass and her
titties as well. - That's enough.
901
01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:07,830
I wasn't touchin' anybody!
I was just doing the gay gordance.
902
01:04:07,903 --> 01:04:10,269
- I've had lessons!
- That's enough!
903
01:04:10,339 --> 01:04:14,366
He told me to look after herand to see nobody touches her. (Yells)
904
01:04:14,443 --> 01:04:17,207
(Fraser) I wasn't touchin' anybody.I was doin' the gay gordance!
905
01:04:17,279 --> 01:04:19,406
(Fraser narrating)The Encyclopedia of Ethics also said...
906
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:22,678
that Halloween neededa human sacrificece to be any good.
907
01:04:22,751 --> 01:04:26,209
Think yourselves luckyI don't thrash you both with my cane.
908
01:04:26,288 --> 01:04:29,746
Now go up and apologize
to Mrs. Macintosh.
909
01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:33,090
(Fraser) This year it's me and Donald,so that makes us friends,
910
01:04:33,162 --> 01:04:36,029
and Donald is taking me to seesomething really amazing.
911
01:04:36,098 --> 01:04:38,225
(Snorting)
912
01:04:39,301 --> 01:04:41,826
Come on, you!
913
01:04:41,904 --> 01:04:44,805
-Steady.
-Come on.
914
01:04:44,873 --> 01:04:47,637
-There we are, mate.
-(Fraser) What are they doing?
915
01:04:47,709 --> 01:04:52,874
- Are they gonna have a fight? -It's a bulling.
They'regonna give it a servicin'.
916
01:04:53,949 --> 01:04:56,543
-That's it.
-(Cow moos)
917
01:04:57,886 --> 01:05:01,652
-Steady, steady.
- Wow.
918
01:05:03,158 --> 01:05:05,149
Aye.
919
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:08,462
There we are.
920
01:05:12,267 --> 01:05:17,068
(Fraser) The Encyclopedia says dancing
with girls is one of the pleasures of the flesh,
921
01:05:17,139 --> 01:05:20,006
but I didn't enjoydancing the gay gordance.
922
01:05:20,075 --> 01:05:23,010
(Mechanical whirring)
923
01:05:30,752 --> 01:05:34,188
I read about a thingcalled an... orgy,
924
01:05:34,256 --> 01:05:36,383
and about harems.
925
01:05:36,458 --> 01:05:40,827
Then I fell asleep and dreamtabout Auntie Heloise.
926
01:05:43,398 --> 01:05:46,993
So, when you wake up after
one of these dreams, Fraser,
927
01:05:47,069 --> 01:05:49,833
- Uh-huh.
- (Blows nose) and the bed's wet,
928
01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:52,533
- Not hardly ever. - and it was a
very nice dream that you were having--
929
01:05:52,608 --> 01:05:54,906
- I hardly ever wet the bed anymore,
Father. - No, I know.
930
01:05:54,977 --> 01:05:57,468
- I haven't since I was very little--
- No, I know, I know, Fraser.
931
01:05:57,546 --> 01:06:00,140
But if, um--
932
01:06:00,215 --> 01:06:03,844
(Sighing) When, in the future,
933
01:06:03,919 --> 01:06:06,547
you feel something well up
from deep within you,
934
01:06:06,622 --> 01:06:09,682
- from the core of your very being--
- Like magma?
935
01:06:09,758 --> 01:06:14,286
- Uh-- What's magma?
- It's--
936
01:06:14,363 --> 01:06:17,127
it's like lava, only thicker.
937
01:06:17,199 --> 01:06:20,464
Well, probably.
938
01:06:20,535 --> 01:06:22,469
(Blows)
939
01:06:22,537 --> 01:06:26,803
- But when you've had a very nice
dream-- - I have nice dreams as well.
940
01:06:26,875 --> 01:06:30,038
- Precisely. - I dreamt about
Auntie Heloise playing jazz.
941
01:06:30,112 --> 01:06:34,344
- It was the first dream I've ever
had that had music in it. - Dear God.
942
01:06:34,416 --> 01:06:37,783
Well, next time you hear music in a dream,
as soon as you've waken up in the morning...
943
01:06:37,853 --> 01:06:42,153
you must run down to the loch with me and
have a cold plunge-- mens sana in corpore sano.
944
01:06:42,224 --> 01:06:46,217
- ''Healthy mind in a healthy body''
- Healthy body. I know.
945
01:06:47,496 --> 01:06:50,363
Yeah. Well.
946
01:06:50,432 --> 01:06:53,230
(Sighs) Well,
that's all cleared up then.
947
01:06:56,004 --> 01:07:01,442
So, uh, Fraser, is there anything
you'd like to ask me about?
948
01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:04,673
What's an... orgy, Father?
949
01:07:07,115 --> 01:07:11,779
- Uh-huh.
- And, uh-- and a fellatio--
950
01:07:11,853 --> 01:07:15,050
is it like a trombone
the angels blow into in heaven?
951
01:07:16,391 --> 01:07:18,951
Uh--
952
01:07:19,027 --> 01:07:23,088
(Stammering)
They're both, I believe, Fraser,
953
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:25,759
what we call temptations of the flesh.
954
01:07:25,834 --> 01:07:28,769
I know that,
but what are they?
955
01:07:28,837 --> 01:07:32,273
- What are what?
- Temptations of the flesh.
956
01:07:33,342 --> 01:07:35,606
What are they?
957
01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:38,771
Well--
What are they?
958
01:07:40,549 --> 01:07:42,983
(Blows nose loudly)
959
01:07:43,051 --> 01:07:45,986
Uh, what are they?
960
01:07:46,054 --> 01:07:48,420
Well, they--
Well, I'll tell you what they are.
961
01:07:48,490 --> 01:07:50,890
They are to be resisted
at all costs.
962
01:07:54,229 --> 01:07:56,163
-Gamma?
- Hmm?
963
01:07:56,231 --> 01:07:58,722
Did gods in ancient Greece
turn themselves into animals, really?
964
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:01,325
Well, what do you mean
by ''really'', Fraser?
965
01:08:01,403 --> 01:08:07,000
- Did they actually do it?
- Well, sometimes they actually did it, in legend.
966
01:08:07,075 --> 01:08:11,341
Why didn't Jesus ever turn
himself into an animal, Gamma?
967
01:08:11,413 --> 01:08:14,905
Oh, turning oneself into an animal isn't
very Christian, Fraser.
968
01:08:14,983 --> 01:08:17,383
I think if I was Jesus, though,
969
01:08:17,452 --> 01:08:20,285
I would have liked
to turn myself into a swan, or a bull.
970
01:08:22,190 --> 01:08:26,092
I think that is quite enough
about if you were Jesus, young man.
971
01:08:34,503 --> 01:08:38,166
I've always wanted to be
a polar bear.
972
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:41,209
(Laughing)
973
01:08:42,377 --> 01:08:45,437
Get by the fire! Hello.
How are you?
974
01:08:45,514 --> 01:08:49,644
- Ooh, Marnie. Ooh, Marnie.
-Fraser!
975
01:08:51,420 --> 01:08:55,686
Mumsie, they're here!
Uncle Morris and Auntie Heloise.
976
01:08:55,757 --> 01:08:58,191
Fraser, my favorite nephew!
Come!
977
01:08:58,260 --> 01:09:03,220
- Give a kiss to your old Auntie Heloise!
- Mumsie! Mother!
978
01:09:03,298 --> 01:09:06,358
Auntie Heloiseand Uncle Morris!
979
01:09:06,435 --> 01:09:08,835
They've arrivedfor the bonspiel!
980
01:09:16,144 --> 01:09:18,078
- Heloise.
- Yes?
981
01:09:20,182 --> 01:09:23,845
- Happy?
- Yes, very.
982
01:09:23,919 --> 01:09:25,853
I hope you are.
983
01:09:33,595 --> 01:09:37,497
Those... are the Ailsa Craigs,
Fraser.
984
01:09:37,566 --> 01:09:42,196
(Chuckling) Your grandfather's
favorite stones.
985
01:09:42,270 --> 01:09:46,934
Aye, I used to polish them
personally for him.
986
01:09:47,008 --> 01:09:50,466
They're the best ones--
real beauties.
987
01:09:50,545 --> 01:09:53,742
Why are they the best, Tom?
988
01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:58,252
A very dense granite,
and a very fine grain.
989
01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:01,812
That means the stone
has massive momentum,
990
01:10:01,890 --> 01:10:04,518
if you've the muscle on ya
to get them movin'.
991
01:10:04,593 --> 01:10:09,155
(Chuckles)
Here, look at this.
992
01:10:09,231 --> 01:10:11,722
Plutonic igneous granite.
993
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,598
What does ''plutonic'' mean?
994
01:10:14,669 --> 01:10:20,437
Pluto was the god of darkness,
a black prince of Hades.
995
01:10:20,509 --> 01:10:23,603
These stones are from magma,
Fraser,
996
01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:28,138
forged in the very bowels
of hell--
997
01:10:28,216 --> 01:10:32,915
- speaking geologically, of course.
- Wow!
998
01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:39,717
(Fraser) The bonspiel is when allthe curling teams from all around...
999
01:10:39,794 --> 01:10:42,627
play in a huge contest.
1000
01:10:42,697 --> 01:10:45,689
Young Jim--
Young Jim, Big Jim.
1001
01:10:45,767 --> 01:10:48,167
(Chattering)
1002
01:10:48,236 --> 01:10:52,172
I want a side bet for the miners.
I'll have ten guineas on this one.
1003
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:54,265
-Ten guineas on you, boy.
- (Bell ringing)
1004
01:10:55,343 --> 01:10:58,278
Ladies and gentlemen,
1005
01:10:58,346 --> 01:11:01,338
today, for the first time ever,
1006
01:11:01,416 --> 01:11:06,012
we are competing
for the Macintosh Challenge trophy.
1007
01:11:06,087 --> 01:11:08,612
(Gamma) Curling wasmy Samuel's passion--
1008
01:11:08,690 --> 01:11:11,181
a game that could be shared
by all.
1009
01:11:11,259 --> 01:11:16,322
I dedicate this bonspiel
to my dear departed husband,
1010
01:11:16,398 --> 01:11:19,060
Samuel Macintosh.
1011
01:11:19,134 --> 01:11:23,093
On my signal,
let the roaring game begin!
1012
01:11:25,106 --> 01:11:27,700
(Cheering, bagpipes playing)
1013
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:32,338
(Shouting)
1014
01:11:37,586 --> 01:11:39,781
- (Shouting, indistinct )
-Sweep! Sweep!
1015
01:11:39,854 --> 01:11:43,950
Luck of the devil.Well done, though, sweeps!
1016
01:11:47,429 --> 01:11:50,887
The best noise in all the world.
As good as jazz.
1017
01:11:51,967 --> 01:11:54,902
(Bagpipes playing)
1018
01:11:59,507 --> 01:12:02,806
- Are you winning, Uncle Crawford?
- No. In a word, Fraser,
1019
01:12:02,877 --> 01:12:04,811
we're getting thrashed.
1020
01:12:04,879 --> 01:12:07,245
Angie's team is just
limbering up against us, Fraser.
1021
01:12:07,315 --> 01:12:10,409
- I fancy they'll be lifting the cup at the
end of the day. - (Scoffs) Not a chance.
1022
01:12:10,485 --> 01:12:14,148
- These miner boys are unstoppable.
- Nonsense. You want to bet?
1023
01:12:14,222 --> 01:12:16,884
Edward, I'm a millionaire.
What are you going to bet me?
1024
01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:20,917
- And what is that supposed to mean?
- It means what do you have...
1025
01:12:20,996 --> 01:12:24,625
that I might want
to take from you in a bet?
1026
01:12:25,767 --> 01:12:30,033
What do I have, Morris?
What do I have?
1027
01:12:30,105 --> 01:12:33,302
- This.
- Sorry? What?
1028
01:12:33,375 --> 01:12:35,741
This, this-this place,
this estate.
1029
01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:39,507
Kiloran, the moss factory.
What I have?
1030
01:12:39,581 --> 01:12:42,379
I'll bet you everything Andrew's
team'll take the bonspiel.
1031
01:12:42,450 --> 01:12:44,543
- Everything.
- All right, Skip!
1032
01:12:46,621 --> 01:12:49,556
What makes you think
it's yours to bet, Edward?
1033
01:12:50,625 --> 01:12:53,025
Sweep! Sweep!
1034
01:12:56,464 --> 01:13:00,059
- And what about you, hmm?
- How do you mean?
1035
01:13:00,135 --> 01:13:03,036
Well, what would you put up
in return? Eh, Morris?
1036
01:13:03,104 --> 01:13:07,234
What's the millionaire got
that he couldn't bear to lose?
1037
01:13:07,308 --> 01:13:09,902
What means more than anything?
All his money?
1038
01:13:09,978 --> 01:13:12,947
Business? His two homes?
1039
01:13:13,014 --> 01:13:16,074
What means more to you
than anything else?
1040
01:13:18,486 --> 01:13:21,455
I suppose you're referring
to my wife, hmm?
1041
01:13:21,523 --> 01:13:25,118
And what makes you think
she's yours to bet, Morris?
1042
01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:28,060
(Curling stone hitting ice)
1043
01:13:32,467 --> 01:13:34,935
- Crack down, Jim Menries!
- (Fraser) Crack down, Jim Menries!
1044
01:13:35,003 --> 01:13:39,838
Crack down!Crack down, Jim Menries!
1045
01:13:39,908 --> 01:13:42,433
(Shouting)
1046
01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:46,413
Aaah!
1047
01:13:49,050 --> 01:13:51,245
(All laughing)
1048
01:13:54,756 --> 01:13:57,589
What the hell was that?
1049
01:13:57,659 --> 01:14:00,992
Stone's cracked, Andrew, son.
Handle's loose. The stone's rubbish, I'm afraid.
1050
01:14:01,062 --> 01:14:03,428
I'll get the stone, Andrew.
1051
01:14:07,469 --> 01:14:10,165
Oh, come on, Andrew. Hey! And--
1052
01:14:10,238 --> 01:14:13,173
(Airplane engine rumbling)
1053
01:14:15,844 --> 01:14:17,778
The emperor.
1054
01:14:26,855 --> 01:14:29,790
The emperor of the air!
The emperor's coming!
1055
01:14:29,858 --> 01:14:32,224
Mumsie, Mr. Chenoux's coming!
1056
01:14:36,197 --> 01:14:38,597
(Fraser) The emperor'scome back to see us,
1057
01:14:38,666 --> 01:14:41,965
although I suspect he's reallycome back to see Elspeth.
1058
01:14:45,073 --> 01:14:47,633
(Shouting, laughing)
1059
01:14:54,249 --> 01:14:56,911
Mr. Chenoux, can I have a ride
in your airplane, please?
1060
01:14:56,985 --> 01:15:01,354
No, no, no, Fraser. You're a wee bit
too young. Mr. Chenoux, meet Heloise.
1061
01:15:01,422 --> 01:15:04,516
- Heloise, this is Mr. Chenoux.
- (Both speaking French)
1062
01:15:04,592 --> 01:15:07,652
- She's French, and, uh--
- Morris Macintosh.
1063
01:15:07,729 --> 01:15:10,857
- I'd like to present my mother.
- (All chattering)
1064
01:15:10,932 --> 01:15:13,924
(Man shouting) Hurry, lads!
1065
01:15:15,069 --> 01:15:19,301
Hot pot's ready!
Hot pot's ready!
1066
01:15:20,942 --> 01:15:23,877
- (Groans)
- (Kettle sizzles)
1067
01:15:25,814 --> 01:15:27,839
(Children chattering)
1068
01:15:29,751 --> 01:15:32,151
-(Man) Come on, put the stones back.
- (Giggling)
1069
01:15:32,220 --> 01:15:35,587
She moves with a remarkable elegance,don't you think, Fraser?
1070
01:15:35,657 --> 01:15:39,058
- Auntie Heloise?
- No, not your auntie-- your sister, Elspeth.
1071
01:15:39,127 --> 01:15:41,357
(Giggles)
1072
01:15:41,429 --> 01:15:43,294
Like a swan.
1073
01:15:43,364 --> 01:15:45,298
- Elspeth?
- Yeah.
1074
01:15:45,366 --> 01:15:48,358
- Whaa!
- Who-Whoa!
1075
01:15:48,436 --> 01:15:50,563
(Fraser) I think the emperorwants to dance with Elspeth...
1076
01:15:50,638 --> 01:15:52,799
because all that's on his mindis slanking.
1077
01:15:52,874 --> 01:15:55,342
- Ahh!
- He's French.
1078
01:15:55,410 --> 01:15:57,935
What a pleasure
to have you in my arms.
1079
01:15:58,012 --> 01:16:01,038
-Anyway, who wants to slank Elspeth?
- (Laughing)
1080
01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:14,790
- Gamma, please.
- What's the matter now, Fraser?
1081
01:16:14,863 --> 01:16:19,391
Can Jim Menries play with Grandfather's
stones if we make it to the final?
1082
01:16:19,467 --> 01:16:22,766
- The Ailsa Craigs--
can Jim and Andrew have--
- No, I don't think so, Fraser.
1083
01:16:22,837 --> 01:16:25,271
- That's not appropriate.
- But Uncle Morris,
1084
01:16:25,340 --> 01:16:27,433
Gamma says it's a game
that can be shared by everyone.
1085
01:16:27,508 --> 01:16:30,807
Yes, well, never mindabout that, Fraser. I said no.
1086
01:16:30,879 --> 01:16:32,813
Now, go on, run along.
Eat your stew.
1087
01:16:32,881 --> 01:16:34,815
Thank you, Mother.
We'd better get back.
1088
01:16:43,658 --> 01:16:46,126
- (Gasps)
-(Screaming)
1089
01:16:47,595 --> 01:16:49,529
Gamma!
1090
01:16:50,598 --> 01:16:54,329
- (Gasping)
- Get her out!
1091
01:16:56,371 --> 01:16:58,862
-Come on, lads!
- (Moaning)
1092
01:16:59,941 --> 01:17:01,704
(Shouting)
1093
01:17:01,776 --> 01:17:03,710
It's Mrs. Macintosh--
1094
01:17:18,326 --> 01:17:20,260
(Airplane engine roaring)
1095
01:17:27,669 --> 01:17:31,469
(Fraser) I never got to flywith the emperor of the air,
1096
01:17:34,208 --> 01:17:37,302
and Gamma died a few weeks laterfrom pneumonia.
1097
01:17:46,321 --> 01:17:49,449
It's time to go now, angel. Come on.
1098
01:17:51,025 --> 01:17:52,959
Come on.
1099
01:18:10,778 --> 01:18:12,871
Gamma!
1100
01:18:15,483 --> 01:18:17,417
(Door closes)
1101
01:18:20,054 --> 01:18:23,251
(Fraser narrating)It wasn't just Gamma that died that day.
1102
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:26,157
Kiloran would neverbe the same.
1103
01:18:26,227 --> 01:18:28,195
She was Kiloran,
1104
01:18:28,262 --> 01:18:32,392
and the world we'd always knownquietly slipped away with her.
1105
01:18:32,467 --> 01:18:34,401
(Man) A good cry helps.
1106
01:18:34,469 --> 01:18:37,267
Our dear Lord surely knew whatHe was doing when He made it...
1107
01:18:37,338 --> 01:18:41,672
so easy for the ladies
to have a good cry.
1108
01:18:42,744 --> 01:18:44,678
Moira.
1109
01:18:46,214 --> 01:18:48,148
Dear Moira,
1110
01:18:48,216 --> 01:18:50,514
Jesus came for Gamma.
1111
01:18:50,585 --> 01:18:53,782
(Fraser) In her will, Gamma decidedto give the estate to us,
1112
01:18:53,855 --> 01:18:56,323
not Uncle Morris.
1113
01:18:56,391 --> 01:19:01,021
And if only Uncle Crawfordwould stop going on about Jesus.
1114
01:19:01,095 --> 01:19:03,893
- Jesus held her hand.
- (Sobbing)
1115
01:19:03,965 --> 01:19:06,092
- No, He did not!
- Did not what, Fraser?
1116
01:19:06,167 --> 01:19:08,601
Jesus!
That's a wicked fib!
1117
01:19:08,669 --> 01:19:11,229
You're only making it up
to make Mumsie feel better.
1118
01:19:11,305 --> 01:19:13,796
But you're not.You're making her feel worse!
1119
01:19:13,875 --> 01:19:17,003
Fraser, that's quite enough.
Speak to a grown-up like that.
1120
01:19:17,078 --> 01:19:19,842
- i>Edward, the child is upset.He's only trying-- - I'll thank you...
1121
01:19:19,914 --> 01:19:23,179
- not to interfere, Heloise.
- Don't listen to your father, Fraser.
1122
01:19:23,251 --> 01:19:27,187
Leave the bloody child alone
when I'm talking to him, woman.
1123
01:19:27,255 --> 01:19:29,519
- Don't you dare use that
tone of voice with my wife! -Enough!
1124
01:19:29,590 --> 01:19:33,754
This is my home and I'll be
damned if I'll let you throw
your weight around any longer!
1125
01:19:42,437 --> 01:19:44,962
I think we should leave now.
1126
01:19:47,275 --> 01:19:51,609
My mother never saw through you,
Pettigrew. I do though.
1127
01:19:51,679 --> 01:19:55,012
You're a shabby little Lothario.
You're a--
1128
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:57,017
(Chuckles) You're a joke!
1129
01:19:57,085 --> 01:19:59,713
You're not fit to run
my mother's estate!
1130
01:19:59,787 --> 01:20:02,915
My estate, Morris. My estate.
1131
01:20:02,990 --> 01:20:04,924
(Laughs)
1132
01:20:04,992 --> 01:20:08,325
Is this really what you want, Morris,
more than anything?
1133
01:20:08,396 --> 01:20:11,388
Hmm? Except, you see,
I've already won it!
1134
01:20:13,568 --> 01:20:15,627
I'm not talking about
the estate either, Morris.
1135
01:20:15,703 --> 01:20:18,695
I won the bet months ago.
1136
01:20:24,145 --> 01:20:27,137
- (Gasps)
- (Shouting)
1137
01:20:27,215 --> 01:20:29,080
-(Moira) Stop it!
-(Dog Barking)
1138
01:20:30,751 --> 01:20:33,549
-Stop it! Stop it!
- Morris--
1139
01:21:00,648 --> 01:21:03,515
It was a silly bet.
1140
01:21:08,723 --> 01:21:10,953
Do you think I don't know...
1141
01:21:12,493 --> 01:21:14,427
about you and her?
1142
01:21:16,864 --> 01:21:19,389
I suppose you've had
your hands on her.
1143
01:21:22,303 --> 01:21:25,704
Do you think I'm blind?That I am a fool?
1144
01:21:25,773 --> 01:21:29,209
Do you think I don't know
that you want her--
1145
01:21:29,277 --> 01:21:33,111
her instead of me? (Sobs)
1146
01:21:33,181 --> 01:21:35,479
Instead of us?
1147
01:22:47,937 --> 01:22:49,871
Edward, please--
1148
01:22:51,641 --> 01:22:53,802
Edward, you must listen to me.
1149
01:23:15,965 --> 01:23:18,399
Understand me, Edward.
1150
01:23:18,468 --> 01:23:20,402
This is our home.
1151
01:23:22,672 --> 01:23:25,163
Morris is gone.
1152
01:23:28,878 --> 01:23:31,642
I only want you.
1153
01:23:32,916 --> 01:23:35,783
You must work out
what it is you want.
1154
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,527
I didn't mean to cause
all that trouble.
1155
01:25:00,603 --> 01:25:02,764
- I know you didn't.
- Elspeth,
1156
01:25:02,839 --> 01:25:06,206
is Dad gonna stay
with Mumsie and the rest of us?
1157
01:25:06,276 --> 01:25:10,110
- I don't know, Fraser.
- What did Mumsie mean when she said...
1158
01:25:10,180 --> 01:25:13,911
Dad's had his hands
on Auntie Heloise?
1159
01:25:13,983 --> 01:25:17,009
Had carnal knowledge of her,
like in the Bible.
1160
01:25:17,086 --> 01:25:19,213
Isn't that a dreadful sin?
1161
01:25:20,890 --> 01:25:23,120
I don't know. Is it?
1162
01:25:23,193 --> 01:25:25,923
Elspeth, is it like a slank?
1163
01:25:25,995 --> 01:25:29,931
No. That's something you do
with somebody you love.
1164
01:25:29,999 --> 01:25:32,729
Did you do it
with the emperor of the air?
1165
01:25:32,802 --> 01:25:35,430
That's not
any of your business, Fraser.
1166
01:25:39,042 --> 01:25:43,103
Heloise got it for you.
She brought it from Paris.
1167
01:25:43,179 --> 01:25:45,739
She thought it was something
you might enjoy.
1168
01:25:50,320 --> 01:25:53,050
- Louis Armstrong!
- (Chuckles)
1169
01:27:05,028 --> 01:27:06,962
I've been a child.
1170
01:27:08,164 --> 01:27:10,098
It wasn't just Morris.
1171
01:27:18,007 --> 01:27:19,941
I'm so sorry.
1172
01:27:56,520 --> 01:27:59,751
(Fraser narrating) The next few monthsweren't easy for any of us,
1173
01:27:59,823 --> 01:28:04,055
but Dad worked hard,and Mumsie finally forgave him.
1174
01:28:04,127 --> 01:28:08,928
And bit by bit, Dad rememberedthe knack of making Mumsie laugh.
1175
01:28:11,441 --> 01:28:14,740
adultery, sins of the flesh,
sins of the heart--
1176
01:28:14,811 --> 01:28:18,975
- (Laughing)
-(Man singing)
1177
01:28:19,980 --> 01:28:24,417
Where's Fraser?
I thought he was with you.
1178
01:28:24,484 --> 01:28:27,578
- I'll go and fetch him.
- Quick, or we'll miss the service.
1179
01:28:30,290 --> 01:28:32,281
- Where is he going?
- To look for Fraser.
1180
01:28:32,359 --> 01:28:34,293
- Ah.
- (Laughs)
1181
01:28:36,430 --> 01:28:40,389
(Louis Armstrong)On the sunny side of the street
1182
01:28:42,169 --> 01:28:45,036
Can't you hearthat pitter-pat, babe
1183
01:28:46,139 --> 01:28:50,838
Your happy tune is your sound
1184
01:28:51,912 --> 01:28:54,380
Life can be so sweet
1185
01:28:54,448 --> 01:28:58,282
On the sunny side of the street
1186
01:28:58,352 --> 01:29:03,016
I used to walkin the shade
1187
01:29:04,324 --> 01:29:08,260
With those blues on parade
1188
01:29:08,328 --> 01:29:10,888
(Scatting)
1189
01:29:10,964 --> 01:29:14,263
But I'm not afraidbaby
1190
01:29:14,334 --> 01:29:17,997
My clover's crossed over
1191
01:29:20,607 --> 01:29:23,371
If I never have a centbabe
1192
01:29:25,412 --> 01:29:28,939
I'll be rich as Rockefeller
1193
01:29:30,016 --> 01:29:33,611
With gold dust at my feet
1194
01:29:33,687 --> 01:29:36,884
On the sunny sideof the street
1195
01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:40,222
Grab your coat
1196
01:29:40,293 --> 01:29:42,693
Grab your hat
1197
01:29:42,763 --> 01:29:47,666
Leave your worrieson the doorstep, baby
1198
01:29:49,636 --> 01:29:52,969
Just direct your feet
1199
01:29:53,039 --> 01:29:55,530
On the sunny sideof the street
1200
01:29:59,819 --> 01:30:02,319
Just a few of my scones.
All the best.
1201
01:30:02,343 --> 01:30:04,143
Thank you, Mrs. Henderson.
Lisa.
1202
01:30:05,747 --> 01:30:07,747
I'll miss you, Master Fraser.
1203
01:30:07,771 --> 01:30:09,771
James.
Have you seen my husband this morning?
1204
01:30:09,795 --> 01:30:12,095
Ah, Mr. Craig goes down to the walk, m'am.
1205
01:30:12,119 --> 01:30:14,119
He said to stop the car an honk
on the way past
1206
01:30:14,143 --> 01:30:16,143
to say goodbyes, m'am.
1207
01:30:18,467 --> 01:30:20,167
What is it, Fraser?
1208
01:30:20,191 --> 01:30:22,991
Last summer, when father's plane crashed,
was it my fault?
1209
01:30:24,015 --> 01:30:26,015
No, love.
No.
1210
01:30:27,239 --> 01:30:29,239
Your father wasn't meant to fly, Fraser.
1211
01:30:29,563 --> 01:30:32,863
He was meant to stay here
and look after us.
1212
01:30:32,887 --> 01:30:35,387
All the animals in his zoo.
Hmm.
1213
01:30:41,411 --> 01:30:43,411
Off you go.
Ta da.
1214
01:30:44,235 --> 01:30:47,235
And James, safely huh?
Right m'am.
1215
01:30:52,059 --> 01:30:54,059
Goodbye, Fraser.
Goodbye.
1216
01:30:54,083 --> 01:30:56,083
Goodbye.
Good luck, Fraser.
1217
01:30:56,607 --> 01:30:58,607
Goodbye, Fraser.
1218
01:31:04,331 --> 01:31:06,331
Goodbye, Fraser.
1219
01:31:06,355 --> 01:31:09,355
Bye.
Bye-bye.
1220
01:31:13,579 --> 01:31:16,579
Aye.
The sun'll be out soon.
1221
01:31:17,003 --> 01:31:19,503
Let's go and get a cup of tea
and a meringue.
1222
01:31:25,227 --> 01:31:27,227
So.
1223
01:31:27,751 --> 01:31:29,351
Are you all ready?
1224
01:31:29,352 --> 01:31:29,852
Yes.
1225
01:31:30,175 --> 01:31:32,175
You're all set up, then?
Uh huh.
1226
01:31:32,199 --> 01:31:34,199
Did you get, um...
Cound you...?
1227
01:31:36,223 --> 01:31:38,223
I see you've got your big trunk, there,
and...
1228
01:31:38,247 --> 01:31:41,547
Listen, uh...
I thought you might like to know something.
1229
01:31:41,571 --> 01:31:43,071
What, father?
1230
01:31:43,095 --> 01:31:44,795
You know that word you asked me about?
1231
01:31:44,800 --> 01:31:47,900
I looked it up in a...
medical dictionary for you.
1232
01:31:48,124 --> 01:31:50,124
Fellatio?
1233
01:31:50,948 --> 01:31:52,448
Ah...
1234
01:31:52,472 --> 01:31:54,272
Um, believe you me, Fraser,
1235
01:31:54,276 --> 01:31:56,276
boarding school is not the place to start.
1236
01:31:57,500 --> 01:31:59,500
Thanks, dad.
1237
01:32:02,240 --> 01:32:03,240
Well...
1238
01:32:08,400 --> 01:32:10,400
I'm going to miss you, Fraser.
1239
01:32:11,424 --> 01:32:13,424
Good luck.
Thanks.
1240
01:32:13,848 --> 01:32:16,648
See you in the holidays.
Looking forward to it.
1241
01:32:23,872 --> 01:32:25,372
I hope you...
1242
01:32:29,672 --> 01:32:32,672
(Fraser narrating)
I'm glad he deceided to teach me
something helpful, at last.
1243
01:32:33,096 --> 01:32:36,596
Even though I didn't have a clue
what he meant, as usual.
1244
01:32:40,220 --> 01:32:41,720
Come on!
1245
01:32:44,066 --> 01:32:47,766
Anyway, that's my life so far.
107389
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