Original subtitles

Don't do that. Shut up.

Why not? Why not? What?

Why not don't do that?

Is it true that you're engaged with someone for Zach's Mom?

What's he doing in there?

His sister sent him pictures you know,

robins sending pictures what pictures

pictures of you happy pictures of girls

pictures of you a great deal hairier than you are now.

Pictures of you a great deal happier than you are now.

Pictures of you in Vietnam on the beach, hundreds of them.

And one picture of Zach's mom one

can I see these pictures? No. They're my pictures.

They're just pictures. How dare you?

What are you doing? Is that my will?

Yeah, take it back.

I'm giving it back. I don't want any part of it anymore.

It looks like a lawsuit or a subpoena.

$120,000 is all you have left?

You're gonna live off that the rest of your life.

And what about me? What's left for me?

I need an executive Zack.

I need an inheritance.

It's an honor. Come on, please. Be the executor of my will.

What an honor. It's a chore.

A responsibility a consequence of goddamn death. You can keep your honor.

Zack, you want me to support your middle age.

You're turning this around to make me sound selfish.

And Molly has a great job. Why are you panicking?

What do you make in your life? 2 million $3 million. Where is it now?

Don't kill me. You're killing me.

Before worn Molly, my son only has enough pride for one of us.

That's what your life has amounted to $120,000

What should I be saving for a better quality diaper when I'm 80?

I say for now. I know where it was.

Russia.

A sightseeing tour of Russia Holiday on Ice.

Russia at the height of the Cold War and the toilet paper shortage.

Mom didn't want to go to such an anti semitic country.

But you went anyway. He had to see the Hermitage St. Petersburg.

cost you a lot of cash to avoid seeing mom for what?

A whopping 10 days. But guess what?

You came back and she was still there.

My mother waiting. I taught you to love travel.

Yeah. alone without your wife.

The one that you left at a wedding reception at two in the morning,

the wife that you abandoned over and over again.

How many times I used to keep track.

Zach, Where's this coming from?

I protected your mother against you

call us more times than you know,

my callousness. Couldn't you have just found some way to have fun for four hours?

Could you have just gazed at her for four short hours she was beautiful

that do not have a fight that night in public.

She makes you apologize in public.

She had to take a cab ride home 20 miles in the middle of the night.

Nobody takes a 20 mile cab ride except in the movies.

Accountability.

Mom came home at two in the morning and climbed into my bed.

The room was called that she was sweating.

I was 14. Can you imagine how scarring that is

a crying mother crawling into her son's bed at 14. Accountability.

Your mother wanted to be there for all the important days of your life.

But she died. The only one she got to experience was your Bar Mitzvah.

Don't tell me you don't remember.

She wanted a picture that morning of just the two of you when you wouldn't pose for it.

So you made her cry. I made you take that picture.

And she loved you for it.

Oh, so you're jealous. A simple favor is all I ask.

You have no idea how often I protected her from you.

Oh, wow.

I don't want your gratitude for what I did for you and your life.

And I absolutely will not pay for it.

You were never hungry. I paid for college community college.

You could have attended a four year state school.

Were you never thinking of me when you sold our house in the middle of a bad economy.

That house was the single biggest investment you ever made.

You and your sister were the biggest investments I ever made.

Nobody sells houses. Nobody sells stocks ever.

I was in shock. I had just lost my job.

And I was out of work for almost a year

when I was offered a job a high paying job

halfway across the country higher

vein than I'd ever received in my life.

You were given a year severance pay.

You were paid to salaries for three months.

Where is that cash?

I bought you slot cars at a scale model of the US Capitol events.

Well as Danny, you had to have those things

1000 Little bobbles

Did he really get you slot cars. What is that?

Oh my God, I don't believe this.

I was foolish enough to think that you might want that as a keepsake one day.

Something to look fondly back on.

You know what the Shylock used to do when I was 789 years.

Old he used to con me out of my allowance by persuading me to deposit it in Daddy's bank.

That's what this is. That's what he used to call it.

He kept a teensy weensy little bank book and

he'd record my deposits in it and pay out interest just like a bank.

Well, you know what daddy?

Banks used to pay their investors interest

because they made more money playing with investors money

than the interest they paid out.

So what do you do with your son's money to make more than the interest you paid out?

You withdrew all the money out of daddy's bank?

Everything except $1.47.

Living on the edge at 13. Yeah, well, you owe me $1.47 plus interest

that is vehicle that is cold.

That is almost diabetic.

What the hell does that mean?

Diabetic daddio. Too much of a good thing and too much of a bad thing.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone ever use the word diabetic that way before. Oh, you will?

Yeah, I coined it. I made it up.

Molly lost her job that she was laid off a year ago.

And now I'm scared or Cooley's off an astrophysicist, you were laid off?

No, I was can't. Why? I don't know.

I think I know I think you know what,

I was put in charge of this big charity event,

this big, big ticket event. 2500 bucks a pop that we sold out in 36 hours,

and I got so much credit for it more credit than I even deserved.

And then this big contributor this big,

this big this big board member was comped him in his vagina

du jour that's the kind of philanthropist he was.

And he didn't show up. So I decided to give his tickets to a guy

who brought his daughter there who

who had who had never been to a museum event before

someone who his his daughter had been there.

It was an event it was an affair for a birthday.

And she fucking loved astronomy.

And then the board member shows up an hour later.

His pants fucking his zipper still down,

even though he's wearing his black tie, and he's all pissed off

that I gave his seats White and his DEET didn't even like astronomy.

What does this have to do with your work? Absolutely nothing.

And then all of a sudden, I started making mistakes,

small mistakes, lips, magnetosphere joke's bombed,

and my boss who was running the projector started to correct me over the loudspeaker

and humiliate me in public.

And it wasn't necessary at all.

I was good at my job.

I was great at my job.

Our special guest tonight is Molly Bluefield.

And Molly comes to us from the American Museum of Natural History,

where she's working on her dissertation in the astrophysics department.

Thanks to Molly and her colleagues, we're going to get to see a little bit of what she sees.

On a perfect evening. Molly, welcome.

Thank you. I always like to start out by taking questions

so I can chat up what you'd like to know.

Anyone, people?

What turns you on?

Excellent question. My major research interests centers

around low mass stars and brown dwarfs.

My thesis is focused on the kinematics of these ultra cool dwarfs,

or what I call UCD. You might look at religion for a little while

a lot of people do turn to religion as their way of answering questions.

But practical scientific people realize that outlet needs to be abandoned.

It doesn't give you any answers any practical information,

no substance out of religion at all. There's nothing there.

It's faith. If you want to believe it, go ahead.

But you've got nothing to hold on to.

There are no facts, not a single fact.

But in science, in astronomy, you have facts.

You have the spectrum, you have the photometry

you have the data and if it's a small amount of progress

toward answering those unanswerable questions,

if what you've always wanted is an answer to the question,

Who are we? What are we doing here?

Even if it's a tiny baby step, and it may be because in the end,

I've always hoped that when I die, I hope that someone gives me a little tour of the universe

to figure out all the things I classified incorrectly.

I call that an M five star, but I was wrong.

It's totally like a I don't know, a cataclysm variable

where it was harboring some disc that I didn't see.

It would be just so fun.

I know, we're probably wrong about a lot of stuff.

But we've always moved forward. We haven't moved backward.

You know, we've guessed at something and then we've been proven wrong.

But then we figure out that we're wrong, and then we head in the right direction.

I think we're constantly moving forward and science not backward,

and we're constantly moving towards an answer of something.

And the sun might blow up before we have a chance to answer it.

I know. But if that's the case, we're at least moving forward.

I just want to move forward.

We do have 4 billion years to observe first though,

so let's grab these light buckets and just watch

Right

thank you

you're writing about my kisses.

I only write about things that might otherwise forget some day.

Don't take a look

it's just a private

you need any help. You know when you lose something

and you look under the bed for it and it's not there,

but you look another three or four times.

This is like the third time.

Like checking for monsters.

Yeah, just like is it important

the thing you're looking for?

Yeah, it's really important. I took the $20 bill you gave me

for a cab ride home after our first date.

And I put it under the boxspring when we first moved in here

and it's not there anymore.

You are so adorable.

Forget it I'll get you another 20 for an event.

Have you have you seen my confirmation screw?

What's a confirmation screen

you really think there's a little boy living on the other side of that? Well,

he's being really shy today.

His mom wants him to read her but he doesn't want to.

Maybe it's just being coy

little boys can't be quiet just little girls

I've become one serious little girl lately.

Have you noticed? I used to love to laugh

used to like that about me.

Once you do gargling

brushing his teeth.

No. He's avoiding brushing his teeth.

He's got Thank you very, very loudly.

So as mother will think that he's brushing his teeth.

Little kids get that breath.

You mean like, Why do all newborn smells so good?

You can't really hear anything for that.

Well, can you? Yeah,

I really can't. It's magic. Well, Google it.

Google it. Google. What?

Can you guys get by breath? It's an excellent question.

Now I have to know the answer.

Oh, we hear snaps.

He's taking off his pajamas. The kinds of snaps on them.

Oh, I think his mom's getting him ready for school. We should probably stop eavesdropping.

You can't hear anything on the other side of that wall can

at the hotel in Bergen, Norway,

there was an old man at the bar smoking Dutch master cigars

and he reminded me on my grandpa.

Nobody in Europe smokes Dutch master scars.

Ah, but he was American with ants

What are you doing? My underwear on?

What if we find little visitors in our new home?

Then you might never see me naked in Norway.

What are you really afraid One of them's gonna crawl inside you.

Even if an insect did manage the impossible

it would die within minutes.

You're a man you would never understand.

That sleepaway camp happened to someone there. Oh,

my God. Really? Yeah.

We just that's what she told us and in such vivid detail.

I didn't believe her then but the older I get

the more just know she was telling the truth.

What'd she say happened to her to the book?

What do you mean? Did you get it out?

She was still young. She was afraid of her body

but I remember she said that she hoped that it wouldn't die.

They will find a way to survive

yeah

it'll be today but I need you to give me more time.

I need to psych myself up a little bit.

Like 70% There I need you to meet.

I'm going to show you cook me dinner.

Can I take one with you? At your own risk?

Right now you're hungry? No,

but it's on the wall are you okay?

I actually just felt pretty good.

But you just put your finger in

I'm blushing now right did you put one of those

dumb Halloween door tags out in the hallway?

Hell no.

All right

we for your wife

I completely forgot you were coming.

No backspace. I was hoping you'd completely forget to come.

Dat boo. I was good at my job.

I was great at my job.

Got a fucking job you will lose.

gone and done. For the past five months.

I've had two minimum wage jobs,

minimum wage jobs and I love them.

I drive a courtesy van for Avis at LaGuardia.

And in the mornings, I work at Burger King.

The one right next to the story of Boulevard subway stop

I can shuttle from one job to another

with just one swipe of my MetroCard for free food.

Free food I'm granted one free meal per shift but I never eat it.

I think that's a form of stealing. See I have scruples

I have scribbles down to here.

But what I have found myself.

I eat leftovers. First I did it

because I was hungry and became a thrill thrilling.

Then it became a habit. Bullshit.

Molly made a good living dad now I support Molly.

You don't need to eat garbage. Why do you do it?

Because it's good is As a Burger King,

or my burger king salary that bothers you more.

There's a feeling of debasement followed by a suicidal urge,

there's a haze of humiliation, then some kind of high.

The first time you do it, no matter how much you eat,

you can never get full, that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that cry,

that void, it just keeps growing deeper and deeper.

But then the ability to taste returns, that's the key,

the ability to savor, then the ability to nourish oneself,

then the ability to cry returns, they become the most filling foods,

the most savory things you've ever sampled,

and you begin to feel fearless, capable of anything.

And you should have taken mom with you Dad

behind the Iron Curtain. Just like that bar mitzvah photo

you thought I should have been happy to willingly post

you have. It's so good.

When I was a kid, my mom kept one of those growth charts

for her children on the molding of our basement door.

14 years from the time

we could stand up. You were so proud when you finally reach five feet.

Yes, I was. How do you know that? I never told you that.

Mom told me. Mom told me a lot of things.

You only heard us communicating when we were yelling.

That's all a lot of children ever get to hear.

But we talk to each other a lot.

Yeah, well, we had this cleaning woman

who used to come to the house once a week.

And one day I came home from school and the growth chart was gone.

erased the cleaning woman she thought it was dirt

I restored it went out from doctors records.

I got them from your pediatrician, not the same,

not by a longshot.

And whatever happened to that cleaning woman where she now? Minimum wage

jobs made people complacent.

That's an ignorant thing to say. All right.

The people I meet at the airport are so happy.

I meet families and executives and lovers and

children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

I get to hear big, wonderful adventures. Everybody has a great travel story.

Of course they do. Well, I want mine.

I used to think that you would always be my safe harbor

somebody who would always take me and my family

and but now you seem so distant and ice.

You're counting the years you have left and

dividing it by your dwindling savings.

And I'm not part of the math just like mom wasn't part of your travels

is the life of a contractor by definition a solitary one.

I never knew loneliness can be so fulfilling.

I couldn't live alone.

Okay, so maybe it's hard to find a friend at 35.

But you had a partner.

So mom couldn't have been your friend to you kept running away from my mother.

From friendships from satisfaction.

Mom was always my friend.

You are still such a child. Yes.

Prove it. Pay me.

I was drunk the night you thought I abandoned mom.

The night of the wedding.

The truth is I might have killed her. If I take her in the car with me.

I was ashamed. I pulled over to the side of the road

on the way home twice from shame.

But I was actually protecting her

say things through

you need to take care of me.

God dammit. It's your job.

Do your job. I had two jobs. Isn't that good enough for you?

All right, apply for a civil service job then.

I did. I failed a test.

You imagine how small that made me feel.

And Molly tried to comfort me but all I could see in the back of my mind.

Was that smug look of disgust on your face

the same one I saw when I only got 1180 on my SATs.

How small would that make you feel you misinterpreted?

Yeah, well, we're leaving.

We're starting from scratch. We're going to low in Norway.

We're moving to Norway.

You running away from home to live?

We leave tomorrow. We have to.

It's Halloween. So it's the last day of the month and our rent is pretty fucking high.

That's why you're here. Because we're starting a new.

And so I could suggest that you make Robin the executor of your will.

And so we could say goodbye.

And so you can applaud my courage and

determination and not so that you could put me down and belittle me.

You're here just I just wanted to say tools.

You were always the best rationalizer I ever met.

Yeah. Call it what you will.

It's still running away and what will you do?

What will you do with Molly came find a job in Norway.

Run away from her.

Count, dad, feel your heartbeat.

Count out loud

1-234-567-8910

1112 1314 1516

1718 1920 21 to

2324 times

Next 144 144 If you can't get it up to 144

at least once or twice a day I don't want to know you,

Asher

Are you really moving away?

Fine, move.

I never wanted you to have to watch me done anyway.

Are you dying?

No. I never had any intention of watching you die

your generation thinks it's entitled to wear backpacks on the subway.

What? fucking annoying

bulging big deck backpacks

on me like you don't know what I'm talking about.

Everyone's growth charts get washed away.

The mommies just spank me. Your mom.

My mom say her father raised her.

They didn't hurt though. Did they?

spankings or about humiliation?

I had cried so hard. They couldn't catch my breath.

It hurt. hurt a lot.

But now I guess not from the pain

from the humiliation.

I used to try to talk to her when she spanked me

try to reason with her with a fury.

But her knee would dig into my diaphragm

and I couldn't get the words out which left me rather breathless

least that's how I remember it. I don't remember any pain.

But those are the first times I remember ever wanting to visit other planets

where there were no spankings.

That's right. And it's a good thing I had somewhere to escape to

otherwise I would have killed her my mom.

I tried to put it back in her chicken bullion.

Speaking which, Asher, do you want to join us for dinner tonight?

Don't worry. I have too much respect for food

now to put those kinds of ingredients in it.

When did the spanking stop?

When she started taking antidepressants.

And just like that I became her best friend.

Like an animal who was once abused and nurtured fed.

She does the bunny hop at our wedding.

She did.

What's with the wall?

It's seven things I want to do before leaving to start our new life.

In the next 24 hours.

Making the majors is probably going to be a tough one.

Why do you want to save someone's life?

Apart from the virtuous quality of the act?

You tap funny. It has nothing to do with virtue.

I just want somebody to be indebted to me.

Like a slave might make me a God.

Have children instead?

You want me to be your slave?

Some children are leaders.

What about you, Molly? Don't you want to play a wall of your own?

We don't play.

When I was in school, we used to play a game called fast.

I'll ask you a question but you have to answer as fast as you can.

If you could have any five things, what would they be?

A first edition copy of Atlas Shrugged a cobalt blue bedroom

a Chicago lithograph of lovers and moonlight

the engagement ring my mom lost when she was pregnant with me

and a Nobel Prize for leading a team in stem cell research.

Won a lot. You asked.

People generally have to think about their answers for a minute or two.

You didn't. It's pretty awesome.

It must be a lot more you want.

You asked for five I gave you five

stop biting your nails.

We just had an awesome talk at the museum not too long ago

about this new technique we've been using.

There's this star epsilon or gay and it's been eclipsing.

It's about like 100 parsecs.

It's like 300 light years away.

And people have known about it for a really long time.

They've known about it for 200 years,

but no one could figure out what the hell was going on.

They couldn't figure out what was causing dimming.

But now we have all this new data

because we've been using interferometry to take pictures of the actual surface of the star.

And what we discovered was this giant disk that was occluding was passing

right in front of the star blocking out all the light.

We took four images and in those images,

you can clearly clearly see the shape of the disk.

The eclipsing dark material is in shrouding a massive star

150 times the size of our own Sun,

a wedge shaped structure. The disk is as wide as the orbit of Jupiter.

It's nearly as tall as Earth's orbit. It contains the same mass as our home planet.

It's a companion to epsilon origami, and it's it's moving in front of it

blocking out all the light for nearly two years at a time.

And so now the mystery solved as to what caused the strange dimming.

But now entirely new questions are being asked

about how such a system could form about the input.

occasions of its existence about how we understand how stars form.

It's an amazing discovery. I mean,

it just shows that if your contribution is towards the mystery like that

you can still

there's just all these like weird things in the universe,

you know, but a tiny little discovery like that.

It will give you something it will definitely give you some

cool ways off and astronomer.

It's okay. They gave me a week on the new Hill telescope last year.

That was enough. I don't think so.

What was that tune that Hoagy Carmichael used to play?

My mom love so much. And all buttermilk sky.

That's exactly what the sky looked like yesterday.

Did you say you know

first time I ever saw it look like that in my life

over 50 years in my life.

There really is a first time for everything.

I was 15 when I went to my first concert

was the fez club to say Elvis Costello?

I think your first concert was David Byrne at the garden. No.

Anyway, I was 15.

And my unofficial curfew was one.

And I never missed curfew.

I was a good kid.

Left the concert early enough to catch the New Jersey Transit bus

back to summit and time.

But I was so burnt out and deaf.

That I missed my stop, nodded off pure and simple.

And when I woke up, my heart was racing the fear.

Got off at the next stop. I don't know.

I can't remember where was the town

I didn't know from Adam.

And I didn't have enough money for a cab. I don't know

if I'd ever even been in a cab before

cabs scared me

everything scared me.

Had enough change to call home from a payphone

my mom answered the phone.

Mom didn't scare me.

You could hear her tell you to pick up

didn't know when she told you to go and get me.

And you said you wouldn't you yelled at her

that I should take a cat to have you

had a huge fight.

I had to listen to every last bit of it keeping my ear to the receiver

because I knew that was the only way

I was ever going to get home that night.

Mom finally told me to wait there she'd come pick me up.

She hated driving at night.

Her night vision was impaired.

Strained she spoiled me around

now it took her 45 minutes to get there.

I slept on the ride home I had to say

the only way I could avoid having to talk to her

having a explained

having to say thank you

what did you ever tell me that story before?

No reason. why anyone would that come up in conversation?

Well, while I was waiting for mom to arrive at the station

I wished that she'd get into an accident and die.

Anything to make you miserable.

guilty for the rest of your life.

Punish the bastard but good

why no away.

My best friend from high school moved there after she graduated with her folks.

I hadn't seen her since and then.

Earlier this year, I got a Facebook message from her parents

saying that she'd died.

So sorry.

She was so young.

What? How did she die?

In a funicular accident

I kid you not in Bergen Norway.

So much debt.

Well, we realized we'd never had a honeymoon.

Five years of marriage and no honeymoon.

So there was something symbolic or cathartic

that my friend Spirit passing allowed us to go on our honeymoon.

It was magical the Earthbound delights

I've lately been ignoring in favor of the bigger picture.

We're all in one place. No.

grass grows on sod patches on the roofs of houses they use for installation.

Did you know that? And every house has a trailer

we wanted to go someplace where we could be assured of being anonymous.

And with my friend Kim dead

we could be sure of it.

I keep this with me.

Always.

It's the thank you note

you sent me after your wedding.

Your dad

my wedding was supposed to be about me.

But it was so much more about you.

Without you there would be no Molly.

Your life lessons taught me how to love, how to cherish

How to Be generous how to teach.

How to write.

I can't thank you enough.

I owe you big time.

And I love you.

So to Smalley

the wedding day was for you.

Cheap.

Unforgivable beneath you.

Mom had it memorized.

Oh.

Where'd the words come from?

I don't know. For Molly.

Both scared onto you.

I'm just curious.

Thank you for having me over before he left.

Hey, what else you're gonna pull out of your pocket this afternoon.

Kids these days have no sense of decorum.

Can they read the memo in the lobby?

No door tag no trick or treating?

Terrifying. Einstein

really, Judas Wheeler, Judas after my grandmother who died

when I was a weak gold and Ruby

Ruby, because when people walk by they say

Yo, rube and a Rube is a hillbilly or redneck.

So that's just bad.

And Judas because when my dad's friends see me,

they always go hey, Jude, and then they laugh their asses off

because some name of a song or something.

I live across the promenade and one of the other tall buildings.

I noticed your apartment is the only one with boxes in the windows.

So I wanted to see what was behind the boxes. Yeah.

What do you think you'd find?

Candy?

No automatically entitled to candy. You know?

Last year I was Groucho Marx.

I'm only allowed to dress as people who are geniuses in their fields.

Marx and Einstein were Jewish.

Are you Jewish? That's a curious question.

I moved here from mine at North Dakota.

My parents owned a cattle farm a good one.

But they decided to move here so I could go to a better school.

A month after we moved here.

They died in a taxi accident.

I wanted to move back there when I'm older and become a farmer.

Who do you live with now?

My mother's father or my father's brother in law?

Did you know that blander is the only seven letter word in the whole English language

that has a vowel that can be exchanged with any other vowel

to make a whole new word?

Blender blender blender

blondor blender.

Brilliant.

How do you know that?

I don't know. It just came to me.

It just came to my granddaughter that branding her terrier

with a heart shaped tattoo would be excellent.

Cool.

Is that really true about Blender? I don't know.

Wouldn't it be cool if it was isn't it

just too juicy to wonder about

whether it's true or not?

I'm gonna need you to come quickly. Okay

you're gonna hyperventilate,

you're still hard really hard work.

Oh honey, I made you laugh.

I need you to come now.

You should do this more often.

Come on.

I can't

I can't rush I'm sorry.

I can't do it. I can't hurt you. I'm sorry.

Oh, oh, you're gonna want to read check, aren't you?

You're gonna have to do it. All of your grave concerns

about causing me pain are going to transmogrify inside of an hour.

No, I can assure you they won't.

Do even know what transmogrify me. No.

Do you I do

can't hear you for what it's worth,

you can poke me in the ass in Norway.

You can do it here. You can do it whenever you want.

It's part of the bargain

144 beats per minute

somebody really ought to run out and

buy some candy

Happy Halloween. Oh. Stein.

Apologies. I hope my ribs

on the contrary, she saves the day.

I'm Ashley Bloomfield. This is my son and daughter in law's apartment.

We just met your granddaughter a short time ago.

I hope it's all right that we invited her to stay for dinner.

Oh, that is ridiculously nice, but I have that for my staff to intrude on and into.

Please Please enter hale and hearty stranger

stopping fellow that you are. You must be hungry. Not passionate

said that another plate.

Well, that's a lot to read.

This must be what had my all too curious.

rubeola flooded.

Not much to look at is it?

Oh, ah. Boris Pasternak.

Ruby's guardian and grandfather. Pleasure to meet you.

Zack helped me with the table.

Your name is Ruby Pasternak? Maybe

Forrest pastor

Molly leave the man alone.

Let him do his business.

So how long have you two been together?

Almost two years.

When Ruby's parents died, they left everything to her including me.

But the farmer did really tell you that she lived on a farm.

Well, they sold the farm left little nest egg

so although I am her guardian,

she takes care of me.

Ruby to you? Do you understand everything

that's up there on the wall? No.

Cobalt Blue. Is it like surreally and blue.

deduced?

How many other funds are you going to ask to do that?

Money doesn't grow on trees. You know?

My aunt Marilyn used to play Scrabble with me

when she came to visit.

She lived in California so I kind of got good with words.

Right? Marilyn was nice.

Ruby usually carries an unabridged dictionary

where they're almost every place you go. Now you're telling me

my class reading list last year had books like Little Women on it,

and they all may be really sad, but the dictionaries

one happy ending after another.

The dictionary has said words in it too.

That's what antonyms are for.

That she was she was the son

you never had.

So Zack, what do you do?

I drive a courtesy van.

That is this courtesy of

smells like mashed potatoes. Oh.

A little rascal his grandma Molly's

my French potatoes is your brother.

He's having allergies. He stayed home.

Your son is sick. Yeah, he gets sick

because you said that Shoemaker Doctor

Mom, you don't like the kids dentist either.

I like my dentist.

You should fix the teeth of horses. Oh, grandma.

Do you have any of the apricot shooter there?

No, you don't get any candy. Now before dinner.

Go talk to your uncle Eli.

Tell him to start getting ready for dinner. Do you find your father or the stirrup

and stuff around the neighborhood showing off his limo again?

Don't put daddy down. Um, do you have any coffee?

You're sure I got lots of cool family

see instant I should be excellent as Mr. Coffee come to the house.

Hey, Graham. I guess we're thinking about getting a tattoo.

Oh, good for you.

Center to sub Linka for this

not getting a tattoo.

A little penguin on me. But mom, I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Still taking those mood energizers your doctor prescribed mom

or don't be stupid mood Energizer?

We used to call them pep pills.

Do I sound like someone who needs a pep pill?

And you love those terrible words

and warm? My husband wants to fuck me in the ass.

Good for you.

Just like the SS men.

Santa Claus married Alice in Wonderland.

That's uncle Eli.

Just that kind of disposition always doing the same thing.

Always playing cards.

Always smiling wide eyed smile always gifting people

who else besides you

know like a moronic smile more like this son smiling so long smile

just before it sets yielding to the stars in grandma is always cooking

I mean always she never rests never pauses and

the most suspicious person you ever met and

critical her stream of consciousness invective fueling

whatever culinary prowess Jewish cooking requires.

She never stopped for anything not to shit not to sleep.

Grandpa must have had to bend over the kitchen stove

and nine months later out pops the perfect brisket.

Not so perfect.

Not so perfect. Do I smell mashed potatoes?

You like mashed potatoes?

who wish she could arrest?

Have you do that? No, don't miss sugar.

Take care and have it go play Monopoly like

don't be afraid to let me help your mom.

Man, I'll talk to you later idea was this

is to be a glass three quarters full kind of guy.

It's stupid.

I still

talk to her about your concerns. She will do anything you ask her to.

I think you should hold on to your jobs.

Both of them.

I bet Molly respects your enthusiasm for working in the public sector.

Why didn't you tell your father

about Monica? Yeah, about that.

eight year old pen pal in the third grade

you picked her name out of a hat.

She lived in Stavanger, Norway.

10 years later, you were still writing emails.

And she was the first to ignite that fuse in you the urge to travel.

I'm embarrassed to talk about other women in front of Molly.

She's a philatelist. Now, Monica.

That's another story

I don't want to say out here.

If you're afraid to look foolish in front of people

who discover what you do for a living,

then you're the fool

maybe I'm wrong.

Hey, do they issue food stamps in Norway

stay the night.

You never know

yep

okay

yeah, no, that sounds great

okay, cool.

No, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Okay, bye, thanks

there's this guy who lives down the hall.

He's a teacher dean of scientific this or that

there's a job teaching at Princeton.

He's gonna hire me. I know.

He's gonna offer me the job.

He wants me to come in for an interview.

And he said it was just a chat, but

maybe it is just for a chat.

I don't know. I've never had to look for a job before.

Not once. Any ideas?

I don't believe in nepotism.

You'll believe me that lickety split

when it happens for you.

My uncle you I taught Zach

how to play cards before he died

I was offered a job at dealing four nights a week in Atlantic City.

Well, it couldn't help it become good at Carson Anglia as your tutor.

There's something about the sparkle in his eye hypnotized you.

burnished you?

I don't know triggered something in your head.

made you feel like you're good at something.

The best telescopes in the world are in Chile and

once someone thought I was worthy of working with the best

Oh no, I'm here. Like effect.

I got it

hey, there's a really horrible noise coming from the stairwell.

Chat. It's a boy who lives behind her bedroom wall.

Chat, Honey, are you okay? Sure.

Oh, my gosh, you're dripping and you're rushed.

What? Would you please go get him a shirt

and also tell somebody to drink. Lizzie.

Walking up all those stairs isn't good for you.

You should know better than that.

Why don't you really climb up the stairs?

The elevator is broken. And the best Halloween candy is on the 20th floor.

It always is. Every year.

I wanted to get to it first, but it doesn't matter.

I climb the stairs a lot. How often?

Not every day, but it makes me calm.

I don't find mom and dad. Real.

It makes them come to the friend's

parents are too tense.

Oh 210s Hmm. You must be dehydrated.

My legs are muscular. Yeah,

but you don't mean muscles. Not yet.

You don't need to be calm either. You're a kid.

It's like Zen. Zen is about controlling your breathing. My aunt taught me.

Oh, I see your aunt taught you.

I have two ones. And one uncle but they don't live in New York.

Oh, you're lucky I don't have any aunts.

I have a grandma. Everyone has grandmas Do you have a grandma?

Yeah. She's a cooking teacher at a community college.

No way. But you have a lot of friends to my right.

My mom's my best friend. Oh, yeah.

What about your dad? He's my dad.

Don't you ever dad.

See that.

Hey, do you have a regular babysitter chat?

No, but I did.

She hit me once for the I

O Oh wow.

Stupid.

My son and daughter in law think your imaginary?

Are you? Imaginary?

You look pretty real to me.

I knew they were wrong.

Hey, do you like to read? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was interesting?

Why don't you come for dinner? What would you like for supper?

Seaweed? I love seaweed.

A macrobiotic?

I don't know how to react to that.

Is your mom also does she like macrobiotic

food to my mom?

We should probably get going. Wait, not yet.

You want to play catch with me?

You mean with me? Even with Zack?

No with you? I play catch calls all the time.

I like girls. Don't you like girls?

freaky little boy.

Come on.

Have you ever played cat with your dad?

At least?

You know what? Why don't you stay for dinner?

We're having duck. I'm sorry. I don't have any seaweed.

I ate duck. Yeah. Can we play catch after dinner?

Like a playdate? Sure.

Yeah. I'll go check off. All right,

let's, let's go downstairs.

First. We'll use the elevator.

Make sure it's working. We'll buy you a new T shirt.

You know, Chet? Actually, my dad did pass away he died.

But I miss him. He bought me my first telescope and

he used to drive my uncle's Lemoore around.

And he was really good at his multiplication tables.

That's cool. I'll get some seaweed from my apartment now.

Hey, wait. You check.

Wait up

it makes me closest friends in the building?

They live on my floor. Who are your closest friends?

His parents? Molly, who are you talking about?

should have let me babysit for him.

You're gonna be a great mother, Molly Lee.

Let's see going.

Four o'clock schools getting out.

Probably headed over to Lincoln Center to watch on the 14 year old girls

make some really happy and really hard.

You're changing, Molly. What?

Changing against your will? What?

27 years. It's the first time your confidence has been shaken.

Am I right?

When you say seven years isn't too bad.

I'd find it. My son isn't very motivated.

I'm afraid you're going to come to resent that one day.

He doesn't like sales. You should know that most nonspecific jobs are sales jobs.

He says no matter how good or bad you are at it,

it's inhuman, undignified and always involves begging.

You don't like him working minimum wage one bit.

He opens car doors for me.

He sends me Valentine's Day cards on every holiday except for Valentine's Day.

It's smart. It's cute.

I mean, I'm the most devoted Wi Fi now.

He treats me like a lady. Or whatever.

Most of the time he treats me like a lady

he believes in me unflinching.

I thought women didn't like to be put on a pedestal

not gonna draw.

You meet someone you like you bet on black.

Ever been to a casino Asher

yeah

don't come back. You don't belong there.

I want candy. There's no candy in there.

Really? Yeah, funny, right?

When did grownups think it was all right not to give out candy on Halloween.

So where do you really climb the stairs?

You already asked me that.

They asked you that. I didn't.

I do this every night before bedtime.

See, I still want my bed.

Sometimes. I can't stop.

And I don't want them to take me to the doctor.

So I do this makes me sweat.

Maybe I can sweat my pee out before bedtime.

Listen, I wet my bed until I was seven.

So does it work sweating.

It works sometimes.

You really don't eat meat.

Do you eat meat ?

For you for real?

I've already forgotten how to put on makeup.

I don't know Only 27

So funny

too much huh?

You both want to escape to Norway

I still you became a an astrophysicist and get to travel to Chile

you work at an airport

so many jobs involve travel

and how do you figure Burger King

I don't know

squeezing in here get away from day

you'll catch your depth of call

she's doing that social have an excuse to turn down the job

thank you

Astrid It's pity you can't see outside.

You know, somebody strong,

morons lights lonely top railing of their balcony

across the promenade.

Just like they do in front porches North Dakota.

I love the spirit of Halloween.

I think it beckons the start of the holiday season.

And not the shopping but you know,

Thanksgiving my favorite holiday and happy children

and children in costume in every city

is City of Light.

All I see are moving boxes

do you remember when I was 10 and he took me to that amusement park and Farmingdale.

You're in places like that.

The rides roller coasters, you really hated roller coasters.

The funhouse mirrors, the mirrors that distorted your image.

But you insisted that we go on the funhouse, right?

The Haunted House creep shows called I was so freaked out.

I cried the entire time. But you

You were my fearless hero.

You made us get out of the tram during the ride and walk around on our feet.

You wanted us to scare all the live monsters to make them scream.

Even got out and lie down on the track and

made a vampire scared.

made me laugh.

You protected me from all of the monsters

from all the zombies.

And then I guess you stumbled and you twisted your ankle

but you didn't care.

You just kept on laughing

You did it to teach me to be brave.

That horror can be funny.

He taught me not to be afraid of the dark.

course I remember.

Why do you ask?

I don't know. I guess I just wanted to know if you still remember.

As your mother she needs to take the screens out of the windows. It's almost November

homestead ground and as your father

I don't know maybe he's out seeing a movie

if I had a daughter I don't know if I could ever do anything like that for her.

You have to go wash your hands before dinner honey,

they're filthy

I always used to worry about your teenage antics and monkey shines

shenanigans. That's quite a handful as a tween huh?

Have you were the shit mother.

I worried that everything came so easily for you

until I realized that generally.

You hated every little bit of advice

I gave you as a little girl

leavened it with your own style

imagination

determination

you are both unique and a carbon copy of me

mean quite a team

your daughter would be at PIP

If

you still don't want to have children do you

I thought for sure you are going to be a tomboy.

You bought that change Belton road the ice cream truck

like in the good old days before ice cream men were pedophiles

don't call girls tomboys at all anymore

haven't lost my couch

so Zack, how did you and Molly meet?

We met on a flight from Los Angeles to Auckland.

I was 21 she was 19.

And back then you could fly for free as a courier.

If you had a valid passport and could be available at a moment's notice.

I had the aisle. She had the window and she was so beautiful.

In three minutes before the cabin doors closed,

there were only two open seats on the entire plane

and one of them was the middle seat between us.

And I thought I lucked out until this obese man rushes onto the plane.

And before I know it, half of his girth

has collapsed in my lap for a brief moment,

I thought about getting up and moving to the other open seat

which was the middle seat a few rows up.

I was then at the obese man smelled it.

This was a truly pernicious fart.

It was so vile, that it could have been two rabid firefighters.

And I had to think fast.

So I girded myself, and I told him

that I had an intense fear of flying,

and that it was an uncontrollable one

involuntary I think

I think he considered hitting me for a split second,

and then thought better of it and nearly punctured one of my vital organs

while angrily climbing over me to the better smelling middle seat

ahead of us.

And that is when I thank Zack for covering for me.

It's abhaile vo fricative what's uh,

what that sort of fart actually is.

I miss being asked that question how I met my wife.

I used to think it was the most lobotomized question anyone could ask me,

but I really miss it.

People used to pop that question all the time.

But it stopped after my wife died,

but I really miss answering it.

Believe it or not, sonny boy

Okay, so no one's gonna ask me. Real funny.

So how'd you meet your wife?

Thank you

Okay, okay.

Why is guy to shake? We all want to know, but make it good.

Good. You don't know the story.

We met at a wedding. best night of my life.

A white tie affair even for the guests,

and hundreds of people at this wedding.

But she and I were the only single people for miles.

And you asked her today?

Not once, but I noticed she was crying.

So I offered her a handkerchief go up to a strange woman who's crying

and offer her handkerchief she'll melt

if you're wearing a tuxedo shoe.

Why was she crying?

Don't ever touch my daughter again?

Why was she crying?

I don't know. I never found out.

It was June. I stole a bottle of champagne from the bar and

flagged the cab and whisked her off to Coney Island.

We didn't speak until dawn

We didn't stop talking till dusk.

Every year on a birthday,

I would draw little doodles on posted size pieces of paper with little birthday messages.

I'd fold them up and hide them all over the apartment every year.

It would take weeks after each birthday for her to find them.

I missed that too.

Did she keep them?

I don't know. I'm still looking.

Naming you was share bliss.

The day we decided on your name,

the very act of it my pores open more fully,

and never smelled so sweet.

And you did it without me knew all about you again,

you selfish prick contingencies.

What if I had been born a girl

that was covered?

We have names for our kids to trust.

And if it's a boy you sold or if it's a girl,

don't be crazy.

Don't worry. I don't want to have kids.

I'm not feeling that clarion call. I don't like disappointing people.

I wish I could remember stuff that happened to me when I was younger.

Like, I used to have a lot of fun playing with dolls.

But now I don't have fun with them anymore.

Why? Why can't I have fun playing with dolls anymore?

Sounds like a question I would ask her her age.

Or as your granddaughter is scary, smart,

scarier than you think.

Her third grade class last year staged mock debates.

And I had to keep Ruby from going to school

because she was going to argue for return to slavery

based on economic grounds to help combat job outsourcing.

Where on earth than an idea like that occur to you? Benjamin

Franklin, George Washington,

America's founding fathers.

They weren't against slavery for humanitarian reasons only for economic reasons.

George was even worried that he'd piss off his wife.

We told her you wanted to free her slaves policy.

I told her if she didn't change her topic, I was gonna stick a big

black panther on her. She knows who the Black Panthers were.

Oh, no, but she was bit by a cat in kindergarten.

Yeah, she's, so she's scared of them.

That's about the only thing she is frightened of though.

And that worries me. Fear keeps you on your toes.

But you know how horrible slavery was, don't you?

Of course I do. But I would have won.

I would have liked to read the transcript of that debate.

You're a very scary child.

o I've been told

you don't know how scary her two best friends are

African American and then we're going to argue for her side

and black grandpa and their American Americans.

Do they celebrate Halloween in Norway?

They watch The Simpsons Halloween specials it's catching on.

And they go house to house and say can ask Alec

and if the adults do more the Halloween thing.

I and light candles in the cemetery and go to church.

Thanks, man.

Do you have a cell phone?

I have a Blackberry.

Well, why aren't you texting your friends right now?

I'm listening.

So What's everyone doing for Thanksgiving?

Again, okay, be that way.

I'm going to Alaska next summer.

I booked passage for two on a cruise departing from Seattle.

And then it stops at Vancouver Kodiak Island.

And then no, you're seeing someone?

No, but I believe in self motivation and kicking myself in the pants.

Is the ticket refundable? Not all

of it. to waive, still living dangerously?

I'm always looking ahead because I can't broke with looking back at life.

I did sit down to write a work of fiction.

Once I wrote page one.

It sizzled and then a month went by and I couldn't write page two.

So there you go.

And then I thought I'd write something about me.

But it turned out to be more confessional than celebratory.

So I'll remain a blank page.

What was written on page one.

Even the fiction was a Romain

Oh, Cliff. It was a fictionalized version of How I Met Your Mother.

Their names were no, not Zack.

Yes, Zack and he sold that.

It began when Zach books a beach house on Cape Cod for a sold

after they've been dating for only a week.

You shared a better well, that was the idea

but on the first day on the beach, someone called her a Jew horse.

So we went home. They went home, on the ride back

I asked her to marry me out of pity.

Guilt. I bet she cried yourself to sleep that night.

They were tears of joy.

I thought I could write it up for chapters on Cape Cod alone.

I'll bet she cried all night and not on your shoulder,

mind you from the train at New Haven all the way

until she showered the next morning and they weren't tears of joy.

How did you know? She cried? Because I'm a woman.

I'm a married woman you proposed out of cowardice.

How dare you?

Love at first sight was an epidemic then.

It was everywhere in every street and

every mailbox that arrived with the milkman

and you're you're barely old enough to remember milk.

delivered milk? I remember.

Oh, you dropped your napkin. There's another one.

Flounder like that and slither gracelessly to an unwelcome do

a dad you still the chef sounds what?

My dad he used to make these enormous shutdowns

when he was a little road ton to lose weight with a beer chaser.

stuff running back and forth. You got ants in your pants. You know?

I still work my

love that. Call them a job.

I ticket to the movie theater. I'm a doorman.

You call that a job? That's what my grandma used to say.

You call it a job for anyone who worked in the service sector.

My uncle drove a limo and drove her crazy. I feel like she definitely would have

rather he died in the house.

But he loved his job just like me.

I guess not that many Jews drove limos Backlund

didn't run him down. He loves his job.

Not many people can say that.

Not many farmers tear tickets.

Sometimes I I think I've met every New Yorker.

This thing they come to me when they want to feel entertained.

They don't want to be, you know, hassled or cheated or hornswoggled.

Or I'll wielder out deal no sir.

They they want to feel good and

I am the gateway to that.

Could be better than that.

My mom bought me an ounce of weed when I turned 18

We had so stupid not weeds merit.

Nevermind seaweed boy. Why would she do that?

I don't know. She asked me one for my birthday.

I said I wanted an ounce of weed. I still have it.

I didn't ever smoke it I didn't want to

I just wanted it got away with everything back then

I got away with murder. Almost almost.

My dad would even let me cut school to go to the planetarium

just like overjoyed at how happy it made me.

Then he quit his job, went back to college got a teaching degree

became an astronomy teacher and died.

Last part was bad. But before that, for the last few years of his life,

he had the happiest daughter in the world. Not everyone can say that.

So I don't know.

I got a an 800 on the math section of my SATs

didn't even have to study.

Things just came easy for me at that age.

I don't know I didn't even bleed when my hymen broke

you didn't

used to have this princess

that used to go in dark like a toy phone.

I think it were

done right at work never dropped a call.

Which one of the reasons I keep working

so I can order by Ruby the antiquity tree so loves.

What if I don't remember this day.

There's nothing wrong with your phone.

You can still make telephone calls with it.

People can still call you like tchotchkes at least many

whatnots you know but my money that made me feel good.

No more matzah balls. I'm starting to self confessed a few soon.

Is that really serving gefilte fish? Is she

she's not really there.

I can see her. Can't you chat?

Wait. You're not wearing a Halloween costume?

But you were just trick or treating.

I was against her. But my sweat melted off my makeup.

Check. Are we doing in the lobby of the 20th floor

really has the best candy live right next door.

Why don't you just kill yourselves?

What if we don't like it in Norway?

What if you just grew up to be like 60 years old

and then all you get is more tired isn't being tired.

Hard work. Hey, Ruby.

Let's go to the bedroom. I think we could both use a timeout.

So Mr. patnik What do you do for a living?

Pasternak? Good luck with that,

Chet. I am the doorman at the Lincoln Plaza cinemas

and I get to wear a costume every single day.

A tuxedo it's very very old school.

And some days I feel like Mayor died ambassador.

But I am still a farmer at heart.

And I allow the patrons that's what we call the customers patrons.

I allowed them to know that.

Some of them laugh at me. Okay.

But most of them

most of them treat me with the utmost respect.

They How many of you have never seen a farm

and they think the Amish are farmers?

I think we'll be right.

We'll go to Detroit in a year or two.

They're rezoning for farms out there.

I'm thinking of teaching will be farming.

The nest egg won't last forever

want to see what impact

Why didn't you pack this one?

Oh, it's not even mine. It was my mom's.

So is this where you have sex?

Yes, it is. And sometimes in the bathroom, too.

It's pretty grungy in here.

Listen, Ruby, where girls?

We have more power than boys.

But you can't really control people by bullying them.

women live longer than men. Do you know that?

That's what people have told me but I live with a man

Although in my life died.

Tourettes a shy away but he did something that took all the attention away from you

did me. How do you know that?

Because it happens to girls all the time.

Does he go to the same school that you do? Oh,

I don't go to school anymore. I'm homeschooled. Now,

that's probably a good thing. Let's start there.

Your homeschool. That's extraordinary.

Tell Chad all about it. He'll be eating out of your hand.

He's a boy. He's a shy boy and a hypochondriac.

I really don't know what that means.

It means he worries all the time. All boys do.

Listen, when we're little girls were cuter than all the boys and the boys are jealous.

And then we grow up. And some of them start to seem pretty cute to us.

And they're attracted us to but we don't know.

We confuse them. Some of them, the really good ones

begin to feel a responsibility towards that attraction.

Then we grow up and maybe we're not as cute as we used to be.

But we begin to feel sexier than ever.

Once my grandma told me and

women do live longer than men.

Men will do. Desperately stupid things to try to impress us.

I think they're jealous.

Men need women physically

but we women have all the power we always have.

But some women for your power. Never have your power.

Ruby, men will fight for your attention.

Whatever it takes for your kisses.

Your admiration for the miracle of life that each of us is capable of producing.

Life has more symmetry for women than it does for men.

Oh, sure of it. I like boys.

What do you like about them?

They're funny.

We smell funny. I know.

What's the matter?

You haven't seen a $20 bill laying around. Have you?

Nevermind, we'd be nice to chat.

He makes me nervous.

That's one word for it.

I don't usually get nervous around people.

You think he's cute? You go for younger men.

There's nothing wrong with that. Do you hear me?

There is nothing wrong with that. But you live a strange life.

On one hand you live in one of the biggest cities in the earth.

And on the other. It's like you never left mine.

It didn't girlfriend's your own age.

I have two ones limbs, a ballerina and a soccer star at her school.

And I can watch her practice with her team from my apartment window

but the other she's imaginary,

she's my favorite.

God what is wrong with us?

We go talk to chat a document grandma.

I can never get her out of the kitchen.

You're beautiful.

Oh my mom. She had great style she always did.

She died for her art. What does that mean?

When she turned 35 Something happened something wonderful.

She became an artisan crafts woman.

She made these tiles these just ornate detailed tiles.

They express herself and defined herself better than she ever could before.

She learned how to cut into sandblast and

when she became an expert at it using the tools

she started to collect these beautiful pieces of broken glass

pieces that boasted unearthly colors and most haunting colors.

And every year from then and till the year she passed away,

she would make a piece of jewelry for me out of the glass for my birthday

out of the pieces of polished glass.

And she would let me watch her make it.

It's pretty. I used to walk around barefoot a lot,

I still do. And every now and then a shard of glass would become embedded in my foot.

And she'd run over with her pair of tweezers and

apply disinfectant and tears would be streaming down her face

because she was so scared she'd hurt me.

She never did never hurt.

What do you mean she died for art? Oh.

She inhaled too many granules from the tiles.

They did something to her something to her blood.

Had a brother do I never met him.

He died when he was a baby

35 Must be a wonderful age

don't play catch.

I don't have a glove.

I have to I'll go get them.

You're in trouble

I can't believe you told me over the phone that I'm broke.

You're not broke. I'm broke.

was just supposed to be a periodic update.

I've been a little nervous.

I was hoping for a pep talk from my son.

How long have you been planning this?

Ambush?

Since your call six weeks ago when you so casually informed me

that you were concerned about your future

and about your liquidity.

About how you hoped your little nest egg would last year another 10 years.

When you plan to die

if I hadn't called you would you just be doing

what you're doing?

Is the bills. All of them.

You'd be surprised

stunned.

Wait, where's Chet?

Where's who? Honey?

It's immaculate in here.

That's our favorite thing about hotel rooms Molly and me.

clean bathrooms

you ever heard anybody making fun of me for the way I look when I was a kid?

Zack. I thought that was all behind you.

Never goes away. You think you're gonna rise above it as an adult with maturity

but be walking down the street by a park.

Some little kid makes a thoughtless remark.

Sting comes rushing right back all at once.

I'm gonna be 30 Soon Ruby

say something

What does Molly think?

She thinks I'm beautiful.

You know what I think?

I think there's a kind of animal

that humans think of as identical looking.

Each of them all equally beautiful.

But the truth is they're just as judgmental about their physical flaws

as we are about ours.

excuses that baboons.

Baboons make for life.

Why do you think that is?

Maybe it's elephants.

We even find that dumb, expressive and majestic.

At the end of the day does it matter

yeah

Mali feel about being a major domo.

major domo. That's really a word.

It is always very damn good investment.

So you

will you speak at my funeral?

Oh my god.

I asked you how you were were you lying to me?

I'm fine

You're nuts

Yeah, sure. Okay.

Yes

thought you'd like it.

Just souvenir

Are you really okay?

Me? Sure.

But things can get misplaced.

You won't lose it

you want to hear something funny? Come on the no fly list.

But no fly list.

The government's no fly list. The Department of Homeland Security is no fly list.

I just found out it's a mistake.

It's not a mistake. That's what's funny.

Remember how I used to travel the world as a courier?

Something I delivered on my trip to Tel Aviv

ended up in the hands of a terrorist in Yemen 15 years ago.

wouldn't tell me what it was or if anything bad happened. Wow.

Surely it's a mistake

it killed something inside.

I couldn't tell her and I love her.

When I wake up in the morning I love her when I get home from workout over

when I tuck her into bed and tuck her into bed

I think you're just pissy with the world

because I didn't take you with me to Russia

Why did you retire go talk to Molly?

Hello

okay bye

Yesterday when I went to close our bank accounts,

I found myself looking at my reflection and every shiny surface I passed.

And sometimes I'd stop and stare

sometimes it was just a blur.

I've never done anything like that before.

I never experienced bouts of vanity at work.

And that's something I love about my job.

It's not about me

there's nothing heroic about that.

I flew down to the Lucilla observatory

a couple months back on the bus to the Newark Airport.

I began eavesdropping on this woman who's sitting in front of me.

And she was on her cell phone. So her voice was hushed.

She had this desperate temperature voice.

She shattered like a gentle shutter such a thing as possible.

She kept saying please keep saying it over.

It was truly one of the most romantic things I've ever heard

anyone say ever.

Maybe she was just saying it because

she couldn't hear what the person on the other side of the line was saying

the first place was the bus

No. Maybe she was just saying it

because she just found out someone had passed or maybe

because after I had a loud my imagination to run wild

I asked her why she kept saying that please keep saying it over.

And it turned out that a loved one of hers had been missing

had been found this family member had been missing for a week.

She was on her way to New Mexico that afternoon for a vigil

and the police found him safe.

The cops had called her sister and her sister called her

and she didn't know what to do. She was beyond relieved.

She just could have jumped out right there in the middle of Lincoln Tunnel

and shouted but she couldn't

so she just kept saying please keep saying it over.

So it wasn't romantic at all.

Get a job

I hate everyone

I don't laugh anymore. Have you noticed that?

It doesn't come easy to me the way it used to.

Boy when you do

I love to

me my parents loves

it we're still going

Thank you

did you find 22?

No.

Thank you, Molly.

I know you've got an early morning at the planetarium tomorrow.

You've got to go but before you do,

is there anything on the horizon in your world that we should know about?

One of my colleagues is using this infrared technology to catalogue these Wilfried stars.

There are 10s of 1000s of them.

We've catalogued about 450 of them so far.

They're kind of supernovas. And here's the thing.

There's only one supernova every 150 to 200 years

and the last one was 500 years ago.

So this is

this is important.