Original subtitles

[Title Montage]

[Kalpana] Save me from this misery, Lord.

[Chanting]

On special occasions, mom invites all the Gods.

Tea.

[Doorbell ringing]

[Bell ringing]

[Door opens]

Greetings, granny.

[Bell ringing]

[Mouthing]

Come in.

[Hemant] Astha, why did you allow them to come inside?

How could I have stopped her, Hemant?

[Babbo] Hemu, what is she saying?

Is it your house or Mudassar's?

Please don't tell me anything. I am not responsible.

You should not have allowed her to enter our house.

Not only our house, he has entered our family.

Let us chuck him out as soon as possible.

Hemant, they are newly married.

[Babbo] Papa, what has Timsi done?

[Hemant] Calm down.

Just a minute. You don't worry at all.

Hemu, call the goon.

We will drag him to the street and bash him.

[Kalpana] Let it be. Don't talk about bashing him.

You will get thrashed instead.

Papa, he is your son-in-law.

I care a damn.

[Babbo] Take care of the booze at home.

Don't worry. Not a single drop will be wasted.

You more worried about the booze...

...than Timsi getting married to that boy.

- Mom, what are you saying? - Why did you let him enter?

What could I do, Hemant?

- You could have closed the door. - Mom had opened the door.

[Kalpana] How would I have known that they were outside?

Serve them lemonade.

[Jagdish] America is to be blamed for this.

Why did you take her to America to show her democratic values?

[Hemant] These things happen in America.

They have gone mad.

It must be happening at my place too.

This is side A; they are side B.

Everyone is the same, after all. Don't worry.

The intoxication of love will wear off in a few days.

They are married. Their love will die.

[Jagdish] This is the influence of USA.

What are we doing?

We are hiding in our own kitchen.

[Hemant] Babbo, I will manage everything.

I will call his parents and get them divorced, okay?

What are you saying, Hemant?

They just got married and you want them divorced?

[Jagdish] I will get them divorced.

What will I tell my friends in the park?

Please go out.

I will go and talk to them.

Please calm down, mom.

- Timsi is our girl. - [Kalpana] Yes, I am calm.

Hemant. Please calm down.

What? Calm down?

- Thank you, Astha. - Hey, what have I done?

Had they not eloped, there wouldn't have been a problem.

[Astha] All the mess...

...is because of one person.

And she is not here.

Have you painted them?

[Kisses]

No, you go down.

[Doorbell ringing]

[Peeplika] Focus.

[Doorbell ringing]

Who is it?

The chemist must have sent the condoms.

Did you order?

- Do you have it? - [Man 1] No.

I thought as much.

[Door opens]

[Peeplika] Astha. Hi.

You can go now.

I think it's the wrong time to come. I am leaving.

[Peeplika] No. Please.

Come. Stay.

We are finished.

[Man 1] Really, babe?

- Bye. - What the f**k is happening.

[Man 1] Are you actually being serious?

Your friend is saying something.

[Peeplika] We are good.

- How are you? - I can't believe this.

I am fine.

Will you call?

Yes.

[Thundering & raining]

The season's first rain.

Unpredictable rains in Delhi.

The smell of the rain.

The fragrance of the soil.

The smell of whisky, earth and...

Which perfume do you use?

I haven't worn today.

Do you want to drink water?

I...

- Yes. - Okay.

It is spring. And the ledger is opened again.

From the abyss from where they were frozen.

Those days suddenly return.

Have you heard it? Faiz Ahmed Faiz.

Anyway, why are you here?

[Clears throat]

Oh, yes. Hemant and I...

- Sorry. Okay. - It is okay.

Mudassar's parents are coming home tomorrow.

So, I want you to come as well.

You want so?

No, we want you to come.

Will you address me formally or not? Decide it.

Look, there is a lot of problems at home.

Actually, Hemant is a bit upset.

Because.

This...

Pretty saree.

Actually, he is thinking of meeting a lawyer.

I tried to stop him. But...

The kids are already married.

You helped them elope and marry.

- So, you need to come. - Correct.

- Go on. - They are kids.

They don't have their own brains.

I instigated them to get married.

Milord. Divorce. Right here, right now.

No, I didn't mean that.

All I am trying to say is...

- ...that they will listen to you. - Why?

Your husband hates me.

No, actually.

Hemant doesn't hate anybody. It is not true.

Really?

Is your king of toilet seats Mother Teresa?

I didn't think so when I met him.

He is just upset because...

...Timsi is his niece. So he is upset.

But Timsi is happy.

Hemant.

Look, I am just saying.

Since you all have made a mess, please come and solve it.

Solve it.

No need.

- Of what? - Perfume.

It is raining heavily. I am leaving.

Come home tomorrow.

I am leaving.

You said that already.

[Door opens]

Bye.

[Door closes]

[Thundering]

[Hemant] We don't teach such things, okay?

[Ali] What do you mean?

- Have we taught this to Mudassar? - Of course.

[Babbo] What have you guys done in Delhi?

Hold on, let me talk.

Our daughter was raised in America.

- Exactly. - [Babbo] In Ohio.

No wonder she is so clever. She tricked my son.

What tricked?

Rather, he has lured my daughter.

- [Ali] Of course, she has trapped. - [Hemant] Just look at your son.

[Jagdish] She has been raised in America.

Have you ever been to America?

[Jagdish] We get so many proposals for her.

[Kalpana] That's right. America.

- Hi. - Hi, you came.

Wow. This is a war.

[Jagdish] Have you ever travelled?

[Hemant] There is a country outside India called America.

[Peeplika] Ali uncle, how are you?

[Ali] Absolutely fine.

Peeplika, how come you are here?

Don't you know that...

- ...she helped them elope and get married. - [Ali] What?

I was just the driver.

[Peeplika] The kids did what they thought right.

I guess there is going to be a lot of screaming and shouting.

Before that, should I use the washroom?

Hey.

After all, I am privileged to come to the house of Mr. Toilet seat.

[Ali] So, your son said that she helped them marry.

[Jagdish] So she is the root cause.

- [Ali] It is fault of the kids. - Wonderful.

[Peeplika] Hemant, you must have ordered the seashell seats...

...from Europe, isn't it?

No, have imported it from Japan.

Wow.

The shape, the design.

Do you know Ayub Khan?

Who is Ayub Khan?

Ali uncle, haven't you met Ayub?

His brother is an MLA like you.

I think I met him at the poetry symposium.

He is a good friend of mine.

You mean the one from Khan Sanitary Wares?

Yes. Should I call him for the wedding?

- [Ali] Wedding? - [Kalpana] Wedding?

-[Babbo] Whose wedding? - What joke is this?

What is she saying?

Sister your ISD rates are increasing.

Yes, please. You must call him.

Hemu.

- Okay, so make your lists. - The wedding has happened.

I will invite Ayub.

- [Kalpana] List? For what? - The wedding.

- Wedding? - Look.

- Okay, it is done. - Please eat.

- [Kalpana] Whose wedding? - [Hemant] We just spoke.

So, now the situation has changed a bit.

- Why are you so awkward? - No.

- I am fine. - [Ali] Congratulations, kids.

Yesterday, you were hugging me.

Normally, girls tell their whole life story in two days.

So why are you so tense?

- I am fine. - You are fine.

- You wanted to use the washroom? - Washroom.

Astha, take her to the bathroom in our bedroom.

- Our bedroom? - Yes.

It has the best toilet seat.

You must surely use it. I mean, check it.

- Go, show her. - [Peeplika] Take me, Astha.

- Please. - Thank you.

[Indistinct chatter]

Coldwater on the right and warm on the left.

Which is your side?

Hot or cold?

Bathroom.

Wonderful.

[Door closes]

I don't know why I am being so awkward.

The door.

[Door opens]

Isn't it your room?

- Yes. - It doesn't seem so.

How much do you know me?

I want to know you.

So, is pink your favourite colour?

Pink, maybe. I don't know. Yellow.

You know what? Put paintings on this wall.

You in a red and white saree with flowing hair.

And a red bindi. Mr. Toilet seat, your husband.

Will you paint?

Unfortunately, the one who could is gone.

[Whistles]

Did Aijaz paint?

This is ironic on so many levels.

Actually, I was talking about Raja Ravi Verma.

[Astha] I visited your house. There were many paintings.

But you never painted Aijaz?

I have got something for you.

[Peeplika] I thought you liked it.

Unless.

You are looking at me.

[Hemant] Where are the envelopes?

- Yes, just a minute. Excuse me. - [Hemant] I want two.

They are here.

- Why are you searching there? - Peeplika.

I haven't given you my card.

Here you go.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Here are the envelopes. Okay?

And why do you want two?

Timsi and Mudassar are getting engaged.

[Giggling]

Hemant.

[Door closes]

[Peeplika] Why did you hide my gift?

- No, I just kept it. - A girl has given you a gift.

Why should you hide it?

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Music playing]

[Hemant humming]

Oh no.

Pass the pen to me, Astha.

[Sniffles]

[Sighs]

Oh God, the night is over.

You cried, I heard.

It was just a necklace.

I had given it to mom to keep it safe.

Not to give it to someone.

We are not going to give them real gold.

Only this was gold plated.

It was papa's last gift to me.

You knew it.

Now that mom has given it, what can I do?

Okay, fine. I will buy you a new necklace.

Okay, better than that. Real gold.

And if we get the contract from Khan Sanitary Wares,

then two bangles along with it.

[Hemant] Happy now?

[Sighs]

You will never understand me. Let it be.

[Phone ringing]

[Hemant] Why can't anyone pick up the phone?

[Phone ringing]

Hello.

Peeplika.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, sure.

Will tell her right away. Okay, fine.

Good day, okay. Bye.

[Hemant] Astha, Peeplika had called.

She wants to take you along for shopping for the wedding.

I have agreed.

Buy Punjabi clothes for the wedding.

[Birds flying]

'Arora Medical Store'

[Peeplika] Hello, Parshuram. How are you?

[Parshuram] I am absolutely fine. How are you?

[Peeplika] I am fine.

Okay. I want each and every variety.

Hi.

Which flavours do you have?

- Show me. - [Parshuram] Okay.

Thank you.

Have we come here to buy this?

Did you really think we have come saree shopping?

Hurry up and pack these.

My God, you are behaving as if it is illegal to use condoms.

- Nobody uses condoms, right? - [Parshuram] Yes.

[Peeplika] Will give you the money later.

Listen, I wanted to ask you something.

Please don't ask which flavoured condom Hemant uses with me.

Because I don't think it is funny.

No, that's not what I wanted to ask.

Did you wear my gift?

Shall we go?

[Door opens & closes]

- [Pinky] Please take it. - [Hemant] No.

It is a blessing. Keep it.

Stay blessed, stay happy.

You took so long to shop.

[Babbo] Astha.

- Yes, Babbo. - Astha.

Babbo, when did you come?

Couldn't you have stopped Timsi?

[Hemant] How could we stop her?

She was already married.

So, the boy has become ours.

Isn't Timsi happy?

Yes, Timsi is happy. What about my happiness?

[Babbo] Are you my brother first.

My husband couldn't come as he is expanding his business...

...in Brazil. You should have waited.

You guys talk. Let me freshen and come.

This water? Astha, are you sure this is safe?

- I really need some bottled water. - [Astha] It is safe.

The water is safe. Just drink it.

[Cupboard door opens]

[Phone ringing]

Of course, Mudassar.

Preparation for the wedding night is done.

No.

I won't meet. I am busy today.

[Clears throat]

[Sobbing]

[Crying]

Mr. Khan.

[Giggling]

I bet you are laughing up there.

Where did you leave me and go away?

[Sobbing]

I find you everywhere.

Only for a night.

For the sake of love.

[Sobbing]

[Birds flying]

[Hemant] Astha, bills are more than items in these shopping bags.

Did you pay all the bills?

Yes.

[Hemant] Driver is waiting below. Take the car and sort it out.

We will divide the wedding expenses equally.

It is awkward since we are from the bride's side.

Give these bills to Peeplika.

She will manage as she is modern.

- [Kalpana] Hemant. - Yes.

- [Kalpana] Come down. - [Hemant] Now?

[Kalpana] Pick up Babbo's bags. Come here.

Coming.

[Hemant] Stop ironing and go.

[Song playing on radio]

Sorry.

The door was open.

[Peeplika] You could have knocked.

- I know. I am sorry. - [Peeplika] No, relax.

Why are you here at this time?

I will come later if somebody is joining you.

Are you judging my sex life?

No. Not at all.

I just don't want to be in another awkward situation.

Had to give you something.

Half the bills of wedding expenses.

Hemant asked me to give them to you.

To pass it to Mudassar's family.

So, the bills are accounted.

No problem. I will give it to them.

Thanks.

Wine?

No, I don't drink.

Please drink today.

One must try everything once in life.

Aijaz would say so.

This was Aijaz's favourite song.

You must be missing him a lot.

Yes.

[Astha] Dance?

[Music playing]

He was a mad man.

Crazy about me.

Crazy about life.

So curious about everything.

He used to make a lot of noise the whole afternoon.

I couldn't paint.

[Peeplika] He used to play cricket with the colony boys.

He has broken our neighbour, Salim's window four times.

He used to piss me off.

Never has he pissed me off more than he has by f**king dying.

[Peeplika crying]

[Theme music playing]