Original subtitles

He is Dr. Hunkenstein's Man-ster!

- All of this, no. - Look, Steve, you gave me...

- No, you look! I am the boss!

- The only thing that makes this place special

is what we bring to it, what we bring to it!

Just do the Chippendales. It'll kill here.

You'll be like 3,000 miles away from that guy.

- That's not far enough.

I'm the only one left out.

- Hanging in their home, a naked Black man?

You know how white people are, they get threatened.

- Do you have a membership card?

- Wait a minute, a membership? - Since when have you had membership cards?

What are you talking about?

- I kneel before you today

offering my everlasting oath of loyalty.

We're opening a Chippendales in New York.

If you have a problem with that, I'll open my own place.

You and me go to war.

- I transferred him. My best idea yet.

Our soon-to-open New York Chippendales.

There.

Little bit shorter.

- Signore, it's right where it should be,

- at the wrist bone, you see. - I would like it shorter.

- Uh, shorter.

All right.

There you have it. - Little bit more.

- Signore, with all due respect, any shorter

will make you look... - Shorter.

Perfect.

- 383, 384, 385, 386.

- Mr. Banerjee.

Some turnout, huh? - Mm.

How many does this place hold?

- Five hundred.

What's the matter?

- I counted 386.

- This? That's the fucking standby.

- Are you serious? - Mm-hm. Come on.

I better see you dancing tonight. Enjoy.

Wow, gorgeous! I love it.

Tommy, it's nice...

Steve!

Welcome to Chippendales East!

Huh?

Come on!

It's not too shabby, huh?

- No. - I will show you to your seat.

- Is this a VIP section? You have a VIP section?

Yes, it's a VIP section.

And you're a very special VIP.

Hi, thanks, Barry.

- Are these people famous? They look famous.

- Uh, some of them are famous, yes.

Uh, behind me is Tommy Tune.

He's a huge Broadway star. He has the curly hair.

He tap dances and sings. He's amazing!

- Really? Could you introduce me to him afterwards?

I don't know his work, but I love famous people.

Okay.

Is this, uh...

The real deal.

It's... real.

Nick found them at an estate sale in Chappaqua

of all places.

- I'm sitting in a Chippendales chair. - Yes.

Yeah.

- Here you go. - Thanks, honey.

- Of course. - That's great.

Baby, they're gonna love it.

- Yeah, but what if they don't?

That's not possible.

- This isn't LA, Bradford. These people have taste.

So do you.

- I'm walking a fine line here.

They, they could easily mistake

the intentional campiness for, I don't know...

- They're gonna love it, you asshole.

Now get out there and bask in the glory of your finest hour.

Listen to her.

- I can't.

- Well, Steve, Steve's out there.

- Oh. Well, all the more reason not to go out.

- He's in a good mood.

He's in, like, a really good mood.

- Well, yeah, until he sees what we're opening with.

Our story begins...

on a dark and stormy night in a mysterious castle

somewhere in deepest, darkest, Mansylvania.

- Congratulations! - Oh, fuck!

Steve! Goddammit.

Man, that opening number!

They went crazy for it!

- Yes. - Yes!

At the end, I've never heard that many people

make that much noise at one time.

There was a pregnant lady screaming so much,

I think her baby will remember the show.

Yes.

Oh, Steve.

Steve, Steve.

So good.

- I mean, it's so funny, you know, 'cause I mean,

you do realize that that's the thing that you nixed.

- What? - Yeah, in LA. You hated it.

You, uh...

You forbade me from doing it.

- Well, in LA, you did not have

that extremely attractive man, right?

- I did, actually.

- That same guy? - Uh-huh, same guy.

I brought him to the club.

I introduced you.

I do not remember that.

- Oh, I do.

- Well.

Congratulations.

Wonderful.

Thank you.

- Where are you going? Nick?

Wow.

- What, you've never seen snow?

- I've only ever been to Bombay and Los Angeles.

Wow.

- What was that?

- I hit you. It's a snowball.

- Why?

- Why?

It's fun.

- I want to try.

- Well, knock yourself out.

Here.

Come here.

Here, like this.

Cup your hand and fill it with snow, make a ball.

No, more, more. Get more. Yeah. - More?

Wow, yours is... - No, together, together, like compact it.

Yeah. And in a circle.

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh, no, no, no, no. It's okay.

- It's called a snowball, not a snow-flat.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

All right, let's go, kid.

Hit me with your best shot. - Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Oh, shit!

All right, it's on!

What's about to occur is what's known as a snowball fight.

Okay.

- Are you ready for it?

Yes.

- Ah! - Oh!

- Come on, Steve. Come on!

- Oh, okay. - Come on, buddy. Come on!

- Oh. Oh. - Come on!

Where's your snowball, Steve? - Okay. Okay, that's enough.

- I don't see you... - Okay, stop.

- Come on, Steve. - Okay. Okay. Okay, that's enough.

I don't want to play anymore!

Please, that's enough!

I don't want to play anymore!

I don't want to play anymore! - Come on!

Stop, please! I'm done!

- Come on! - I said, I'm finished!

- Fuck!

- You are a bully.

- Are you serious?

- Have Denise fax Irene the DSR reports from tonight.

I'll call you next week.

- There you go. - Thank you, sir.

Welcome home!

Come here and give me a kiss!

Oh, I missed you. - Hi!

- Mwah. - Hi!

How was the doctor? - Ah, he said everything looks perfect.

I'm already up 16 pounds.

- That's not enough. I need you big and fat.

- Oh. Be careful what you wish for.

So, tell me about everything.

- About what?

- About the club, silly.

It was incredible.

The crowd, the venue, the size.

Everything about it was bigger and better than LA.

- That's fantastic.

- Yeah, it's really good.

- Stevie? - Yes.

- You can't be jealous of your own club.

- I'm not jealous.

- The better he does, the better we do.

- I know, I know.

- Okay. Come on. I made French toast.

- Steve Banerjee?

- You're that guy, Steve Banerjee.

You're the creator of Chippendales.

- Yes, yes, I am.

- Perfect. Here you go.

- We're being sued for racially discriminatory practices.

This guy says we turned him away for not having a VIP card.

What is that? We don't have VIP cards.

We don't, we don't have them. Right?

We don't have a VIP card. - What? No.

- Okay. I mean, he's saying that it's a membership card

that we use to keep out minorities.

- That's outrageous.

- It's not true.

- Right?

- How could you ask me that?

No, it's not true. Are you serious?

Do you seriously think that?

- No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's cl... You know, it's clearly just

some shameless money grab.

Some guy who thinks that we're so rich that we'll just write him a big, fat check

to make it go away.

- Terrible.

- You know, this is what happens when you're successful.

Everybody wants a piece.

- Karl.

Okay.

Listen to me. There are no VIP cards.

They do not exist. It is absurd.

You have never heard of such a thing.

- But you're holding one in your hand right now.

- Oh, this was made by customers

so that they could skip the line,

avoid the long wait, right?

These are the lengths people will go to to get into our club.

They'll make fake VIP cards.

- Why would I let somebody in with a made-up card?

- What?

- If somebody were making fake cards,

don't you think your doorman would know?

- You need to come up with a better story. - Oh, just...

Just... There are no cards, okay?

There are no cards!

- Oh, my God, look at us.

- We're just strolling through midtown. - Yep.

- We're a hot new power couple in the theater scene.

Oh, are we a couple now?

- Well, we have been for years.

- Really?

Tell me more.

- Oh, you didn't know?

- Well, I mean, I knew that we spend

every waking moment together, so...

- Yeah.

It's a wonderful relationship.

- Uh-huh.

- We have love and companionship,

and we still get to fuck whoever we want.

- Now that's a wonderful relationship.

It is.

The best.

The best.

What is this, a bank?

I feel like we're almost

in a haunted house... - The floors are great.

- Of mediocrity but... - You can dance in here like no tomorrow.

Oh.

- Come on in.

- There they are!

- Hello. - Hi.

- Hey, hi, Bradford.

- Hi, Denise.

Look at your fun top.

- Oh, and an ironed jean... - pant.

So what do you think?

What do I think about what?

- About our new New York headquarters?

- Oh, our new...

Um, we...

But we have our office at the club.

- Oh, come on. That dreary, windowless bunker

does not qualify as an office.

Look at this place.

- I am, and, ugh, why so beige?

- They're neutrals. It's very soothing.

- Okay, I feel like I'm in a van at a bank.

- Denise, Denise. - Both things are not...

- Can you love it? - Summonsing my...

- Can you love it? - Ugh.

- I need you to love it with us. - Ugh!

- Come on, it's not that hard. - I'm not soothed at all!

- Come on, sit down. - Ugh!

- Sit down in this beautiful chair...

- Yeah! - That's made

- to soothe you. - Chair?

- It's Italian. - Right.

- Doesn't that feel good?

Feels like my father.

- Come on, you look like Wonder Woman.

- You can bring all your stuff from Queens,

or wherever you're from, and...

I'm from Long Island.

- There's more furniture coming. - Okay.

- Oh, and there's some artwork

and things like that.

- Well, grab it. - Oh.

- See what it feels like to answer the phone

in your new office.

- Okay.

Hello.

- Hi, is this Denise Conklin? - Yes, it is.

Uh-huh.

Look at you.

- I'm sorry, who, who is it?

As in the Phil Donahue? JOCELYN: That's right, Ms. Conklin.

We are so sorry to bother you.

Oh, yeah.

- What are they saying?

What are they saying? Denise. - I agree.

It's incredible. - What are they saying?

- Really? - Really what?

Really? Yeah.

Oh, I couldn't agree more, and

I will check on that.

And then, um...

And then we'll get back to you.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you, Jocelyn.

- Have a wonderful day. - Yeah, you too.

Okay, bye.

What the fuck was that?

Phil Donahue?

A producer from the show

was at our Hunkenstein Masterpiece.

And?

And Chippendales is gonna be

on the Phil Donahue Show.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- Phil Donahue?

Phil fucking Donahue.

- Are you kidding me, the Phil Donahue?

With the gray hair?

Yes.

- He's a silver fox.

Are you serious? - Yes!

Chippendales is gonna be on the biggest show

on daytime television.

We're gonna be on Donahue!

- Oh, my God. - I know.

- Really? - Yes.

- We're gonna be on Phil Donahue. - We're gonna be on Phil Donahue.

- Say it again.

- We're gonna be on Phil Donahue.

Oh, it's back! Shush, shush! - Hey, quiet.

It's on. Be quiet.

- Okay. - Keep watching, guys.

Oh boy, ladies,

have we got a treat for you today.

Now if you're lucky enough to live in New York or LA,

you may have seen these fellas in the

flesh.

They're called Chippendales,

and they are the hottest thing since sliced bread.

Filling up clubs on both coasts

full of women looking to get their hands on some buns.

And I'm not talking about

the kind that you get in a bakery.

Aw, heck, but you didn't come here

to listen to me talk about 'em.

You came here to see 'em, am I right?

Well, in that case, without further ado...

Ah, now husbands, please step away from the televisions...

as I present, in their national television debut,

the men of Chippendales!

- It's your creation on national television.

Right?

Woo!

- Well, well, well, how about that, huh?

Let's give another round of applause, ladies.

- Woo! - Woo!

And we're clear!

We need to get you mic'd.

- Are you ready for your closeup, Mr. De Noia?

- I mean, how many people could possibly be watching?

Two million? Three?

Fourteen.

- It's 14? - Fourteen million.

- Can they come with me?

- Come on, in the green room.

- Come with me. - Congrats, Phil.

Fourteen? All right.

- Well, if you're anything like me,

you're probably wondering to yourself,

"Who the heck came up with this? What kind of mind..."

Well, we're about to find out.

Please welcome Mr. Chippendales himself, Mr. Nick De Noia.

Oh-ho! Nicky!

- Thanks for having me, Phil.

Please.

- Oh, Nick, Nick, Nick.

Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.

- Yes, Phil?

What have you done?

You naughty boy!

You're gonna wreck a whole lot of marriages, my friend.

- I don't know, Phil. They don't seem to mind.

Right, ladies?

I mean, what do you say, ladies? Did you enjoy that?

They love it, Phil.

Yes, they do.

Well, I understand you're

a choreographer by trade.

Amongst other things.

Oh, other things is right.

You've been in movies and television in the theater.

True. You've been an actor, a writer,

a director, a producer.

Guilty as charged.

You've even won an Emmy.

Actually, no.

Oh. I've won two.

Ah, all right.

Forgive me.

That's why they call you Mr. Chippendales.

I guess so, Phil. I guess so.

- Why did he let him call him Mr. Chippendales?

He should have corrected him, right?

- Well, you know, it's live TV.

Things happen. - But Chippendales is my creation,

so why did he let him say that?

- Steve, I'm sure there was no mal intent

on Nick's part. It was a big show.

There were a lot of segments, I-I... - I'm going to go to New York.

No.

- I'm gonna go to New York, I'm going to find Nick,

and I'm going to tell him

that he needs to call Phil... - No! Put that phone down.

No. Stop. - Irene. Irene.

- Stop it! Stop it. - He has just...

- Stop.

Now, I want you to repeat after me.

"Things are going incredibly well."

Say it.

- Things are going incredibly well.

- "My company was just featured on national television."

- My company was just featured on national television.

- "Business is booming."

- Business is booming.

- "I wear a Rolex."

- I wear a Rolex.

- "I live in a big, beautiful house."

- I live in a big, beautiful house.

- "With my gorgeous, pregnant wife."

- With my gorgeous, pregnant wife.

- "And I'm not gonna blow it on some silly little slight."

Say it.

- I'm not going to blow it on some silly little slight.

- Good.

- Thank you. - Mm-hm.

Steve, do we have aspirin?

I don't know which is worse,

what you did, or the fact you lied about it!

- Okay, Irene, okay, yes, we did have VIP cards,

and I should have told you that I had them,

but I did not use them

for what the lawsuit said I used them for, okay...

- What did you use them for?

What did you use them for, Steve?

- Just to have a more upscale clientele,

that's it. Yes. - Upscale clientele?

You were trying to keep out the Black people!

- No, no. That is not... - Yes, you were!

- That is not... No, no. - Yes, you were!

Why did you do that?

- Okay, okay.

When other people see Black people in here,

they think the place is not classy.

- Steve. - It's not my fault they're racist.

I just wanted our club to be successful.

- Steve, there are two types of people in this world.

There are good people and there are bad people...

and we are good people.

You are a good person.

We don't do things like this.

Do you hear me?

- I'm sorry.

- For what?

Say it. - I should have told you.

You should have told me.

What else?

- I should not have...

I should not have kept the Black people out of the club.

I'm sorry. - No.

Hey.

- Now I have to go find us a very expensive lawyer!

Boss-man.

Yo, I'm in the locker room fixing that pipe.

You know, the one making all the noise with the bing, bing, bing.

- Yes. - Right? So anyways, I got the TV on.

I like to have it on in the background while I'm working.

It kinda puts me in like a

certain kind of... - What is the point?

- All right. Well, don't get mad at me, okay?

- What is the point?

- Nick was on Mike Douglas.

He did it again.

- Well, how much weight have you lost?

Well, did, did the doctor say

you could keep taking them?

How bad are the palpitations?

Well then,

keep taking the pills.

Well, Richie, do you want...

I'm working!

- I've gotta read this before...

I don't care what Karl says.

Do you wanna be famous, or do you wanna be fat, Richie?

That's what I thought. I'm swamped.

- Chippendales, this is Nick. - You mind telling me

what the hell you're trying to pull?

- Uh, Steve?

- Ray just saw you... - I'll call you back.

On the Mike Douglas Show.

- I saw that shit. - Great, and?

- And you did it again.

Did what again?

- You had them call you Mr. Chippendales. - Excuse me?

And the same thing happened on Donahue.

They called you Mr. Chippendales.

- Oh, and you think that I told them to call me that?

Well, you certainly did not object.

- Well, if they call me that, Steve, there's really...

You should correct them.

- Oh, you want me to stop the show and,

and give them a whole rundown of who's who in the company?

- Yes, exactly. Do that.

Oh wow.

That would, that would make for scintillating television, Steve.

"Uh, actually, Mike, Mr. Chippendales is not an entirely accurate title for me."

- That is right. It is not accurate. - "So, yes, it's true,

I am the show's "choreographer and mastermind...

- You are not the mastermind. - But there's this other guy,

- Steve Banerjee, who..." - Okay,

enough with your sarcasm. I do not appreciate it, okay?

- Yeah, well, I don't appreciate you talking

to me like a fucking five-year-old, so...

Well, you're my employee. I'll talk to you however I want.

- Oh, here we go with the whole fucking employee bullshit again.

Listen, Steve, if it wasn't for me,

you'd be a failed nightclub owner

living out of the trunk of your car.

And if it wasn't for me,

you'd still be doing Unicorn Tales.

By the way, I watched that show.

Very low quality.

Really, Steve?

And who has the Emmys here?

- Yeah, where did you get those Emmys?

At a souvenir shop on Hollywood Boulevard?

Fuck you.

I forbid you from going on

national television to take credit for my creation.

- Oh, is that what I'm doing?

Is that what I'm doing, Steve?

I'm stealing credit?

- That is exactly what you are doing!

Yeah?

You wanna see taking credit, asshole?

I will show you taking credit.

You ain't seen nothin' yet!

- He was not apologetic at all.

What an asshole!

- Was that Steve?

- Stop it. - What?

- He is the founder, creator, and choreographer...

- The man behind the muscle...

- Everybody calls him Mr. Chippendales...

- Please welcome Mr. Chippendales himself...

Nick De Noia!

- So great to see you, Bill.

- Great to see you, Nick.

- Great to see you, too, ladies.

Sally, you are an angel sent from heaven.

Kiss me. Mwah! Mwah!

Geraldo!

- Hey Nick, great to see you.

- It's great to see you, too.

- Hello, Nick. Welcome.

- Thanks for having me, Gene.

- You are a superstar, Nick.

- Ah, you are too kind, my friend.

- No, no. Multi-Emmy-Award-winning choreographer...

- How about showing us some new dance moves?

- Oh, sure.

- Nick you are a bad boy.

- You know what I think?

I think, Nick, this is a phenomenon.

- You know what, why don't we ask America?

What do you think, America?

- I think we're gonna get a lot of letters about this one.

- That should be you!

Just 'cause the show's in New York, they get to go on?

Yo, you cannot, cannot let him take your glory.

You gotta fight fire with fire.

- What do you mean?

- Go on some fucking shows.

Gonna mic you up inside your jacket here.

Apologies if my hands are a little cold.

And if you could just turn your head

towards me.

Not an exact match.

You know, they make makeup for Black skin

and white skin, of course, but I tried my best.

- Limit your movements or you're gonna sound terrible.

- Okay, Mr. Banerjee, we're about 30 seconds out.

Are we ready to go?

He looks great. You look great.

Let's go. Let's get you up and over here.

Follow me.

Let's try to keep the camera in focus today.

It's a little bit of an obstacle course.

- Still a lot of rustling. Has he done this before?

- Yes. Could you please try to move as little as possible.

- You've got this, Boss-man.

Don't worry about the sweat. - Who is this?

- You're gonna be good, all right? - You can't be here.

- He can't be here! - Sir...

- So it's a five-minute segment. You're going to be talking to Connie,

and just a reminder, no swearing as we are live.

Going to have you sit right here.

You're gonna wanna look at camera one,

camera two, and camera three.

Actually, camera two and three have switched places on us today.

The one with the light's the one to look at.

Connie, what a beautiful teal color on you!

- It's turquoise. - Is it?

Well, wardrobe told me green,

but here we are. - Excuse me. Do I look at the one

with the light or not? - Okay everybody, we are live...

Not the one with the light.

- In five, four... - Do I look at the one

with the light? - You'll be great.

- Three... - Which...

- Chippendales.

If you're a gal,

maybe you've been to their club on Overland.

- Oh, it's starting! Shh! - Or bought their latest

best-selling calendar. - Oh, all right.

Well, tonight, you're going to meet the man behind it all.

Steve Banerjee,

welcome to Live At Five.

- Thank you, Connie.

- For the three or four remaining Angelenos

unfamiliar with your establishment, tell us about it.

- It's a very fun place.

Um, it's engaging, you know, because women can go there,

finally they can let their hair down.

Um, and now...

and the men take clothes off for the women

as opposed to the typical reverse,

because, you know, women take clothes off for men,

and men put money in their panties.

But in this situation,

it's the men that are getting the money in their panties.

That's wonderful.

And it's been such a smashing success.

Not just the clubs, but how about that merchandise?

- You know, I thought everybody has mugs,

because they drink coffee from them, or water,

but to me, water tastes weird from a mug.

Um, and you know, everybody has key chains

because keys are required to enter your domicile,

and so I thought it would be financially lucrative

to have the Chippendale logo on cups...

- He's really sweating. - And key chains.

- That's the least of our worries.

- And then on the calendar, instead of just the logo,

why not have pictures of the men who women like to see naked?

- Of course. - And so every month is a different man.

One time it's a motorcycle man.

- That's wonderful. Just wonderful.

I understand you recently opened a location in New York.

- Yes, we...

Is that right, Steve?

Steve?

- I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?

I understand you recently opened

a location in New York City.

Very much so.

Great.

Steve, are there any juicy backstage Chippendale stories

you could share with the ladies at home?

- One time a woman tried to bring in her dog.

That's great.

Okay, that was...

That was so fun.

Uh, let's get back to work.

It's time.

- So, Mr. Banerjee, man, you did great.

I couldn't have done that.

Being on TV with all those lights?

And that was your first time!

I mean, for your first time?

'Cause a lot of those questions were tough, you know?

Reporters always ask those tough questions.

That's the game, they wanna make you look bad,

but you ain't look bad, you know.

You was up there and...

- Stop talking.

Pull over. Huh?

- Pull over in there.

- Where you going?

Oh, shit!

- Everybody's trying to copy me.

Profit off what I built, my risk, my hard work!

Leeches.

Can I help you?

- Is this your place?

- Yeah.

- You've got a lot of nerve, ripping me off.

- Excuse me?

- My name is Steve Banerjee,

and I'm the owner of Chippendales, and...

What's so funny?

Nice try.

- Excuse me?

- Merv Griffin,

he had the guy on a couple of nights ago.

- That was an employee of mine.

- Oh, okay, yeah. That guy works for you.

- As a matter of fact, he does. He's my choreographer.

- Look, pal, I don't know what kind of a scam

you're trying to pull here, but I ain't buying it.

So I suggest you take your sorry immigrant ass

and get the fuck off my... - Immigrant?

Who are you calling an immigrant?

I am an American, and I am the owner, president,

and CEO of Chippendales Enterprises Incorporated!

I am!

Do you got that?

- Trust me, you don't want this fight.

- Sorry. - No.

- I'm going to burn that place to the ground.

- You shouldn't do that.

- You're right.

- You are going to do it.

- Jesus Chr... - What?

- Remember the time you betrayed me, shooting Otis's calendar?

You owe me, Ray. - Look, Steve, th...

- Mr. Banerjee.

- Mr. Banerjee, come on.

I think you gotta get home, have a beer, kiss your wife.

- You swore an oath of loyalty, Ray.

- I know that.

- Then show me you meant it.

Turn it to channel five.

Live images you're seeing.

Firefighters battling the blaze at the Electric Tomato,

a popular restaurant and nightclub near the intersection of South Sepulveda

and Palms Boulevard.

No word yet on the cause of the blaze,

fire officials stating it's too soon to speculate.

Eyewitnesses say they saw smoke and flames

emerging from the back of the building starting at around 6:00 p.m.

For more on this developing story,

we'll go to reporter Leslie Morano who's live on the scene.

Thanks, Dan. I'm here at the corner of Sepulveda and Palms

where, as we speak, LA Fire and Rescue...