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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:13,388 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,852 - Ladies, no! - No running in the halls! 3 00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:22,105 What the fuck? 4 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,946 ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are ♪ 5 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,907 ♪ We wear the sacred letters, 6 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,326 - It's 7:45 in the morning. - What is happening? 7 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,537 Is she in trouble, or are they celebrating her? 8 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,914 - I don't know. - I'm just copying to be safe. 9 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,000 Leighton Murray, you have been elected 10 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,377 Kappa Social Chair for next year! 11 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,670 Me? 12 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,172 Do you accept this crucial role 13 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,507 - in our sisterhood? - I do! 14 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,095 The position comes with one of the absolute best rooms 15 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,346 in the house. 16 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,140 I'm so excited for you to move in. 17 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,976 Whoa. So you're, like, moving to Kappa next year? 18 00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:03,646 - Um, uh, yeah. - Yeah, I guess I am. 19 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,398 Let's go, ladies. 20 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,694 ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are ♪ 21 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,906 ♪ We wear the sacred letters, 22 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,825 ♪ Kappa girls are we, and everywhere we are... ♪ 23 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,244 - Wait. - Where's Kimberly? 24 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,039 I just got pulled into their group like a riptide. 25 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,207 Hoo. 26 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,334 ♪ Apply pressure, so extra ♪ 27 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,397 ♪ They say I'm doing too much 'cause they're basic ♪ 28 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,673 ♪ 'Bout to level up again, so they hate this ♪ 29 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,550 ♪ I'm showing them... ♪ 30 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,385 All right, everyone, as you know, 31 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,762 the year is nearing its end, 32 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,847 and your housing forms are due soon. 33 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,224 If you don't submit one, 34 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,017 you'll have to enter the rooming lottery. 35 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,937 And live with the weirdos and losers no one else wants? 36 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,189 Oh, no, thank you. That sounds bleak as hell. 37 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,732 Truth. 38 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,460 Well, as y'all heard at dawn, I'm moving into Kappa, 39 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,779 and I am feeling very blessed. 40 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,031 So please do remove me from this floor's text thread. 41 00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,158 - Damn, okay. - And for those of you 42 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,078 who haven't figured it out yet, I advise you to think on it. 43 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:02,080 The deadline is coming up fast. 44 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,540 Uh, Frude, related question... 45 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,100 If someone sort of destroyed their walls 46 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,724 by putting up wallpaper using cheap glue, 47 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,420 would his or her or their parents be charged for that? 48 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,464 - Most definitely. - Okay. 49 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,757 Uh, second related question... 50 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,884 Does anyone here have some spackle? 51 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,637 ♪ Driving for hours ♪ 52 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,390 ♪ And passed your house ♪ 53 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,183 ♪ ♪ 54 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,895 ♪ Down to the moment and still I found ♪ 55 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,313 Hey. 56 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,607 - Can I ask you something? - Um, yeah, for sure. 57 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,109 What's up? 58 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,027 Do you want to room with me again next year? 59 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,738 Oh, my gosh, yes, I was thinking the same thing, 60 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,657 but I felt like a total loser for asking. 61 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,885 Totally. I have zero interest in moving into the Kappa house. 62 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,203 And I like that we already know each other's quirks. 63 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,580 Oh, what are my quirks? 64 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,748 Wait. Actually, I don't want to know. 65 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,542 Okay. 66 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,520 But sometimes you talk to someone named Grandma Joan 67 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,313 - in your sleep. - Oh, I've heard that before. 68 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,964 People gossiped a lot about it at camp. 69 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:56,301 Um, should we consider a triple and include Bela 70 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,970 or, uh, doubles and just us? 71 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,471 Maybe we consider both? 72 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,723 Sure. 73 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,099 - Hey, guys. - Bela. 74 00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:04,622 When the door is closed, you knock. 75 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:05,852 It's the end of the year. 76 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,478 Those rules don't apply anymore. 77 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,772 Look at this... I'm in a magazine, and I look great. 78 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,109 You do, sitting at the piano looking like a sexy Beethoven. 79 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,777 - Ah. - I can't wait to read it. 80 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,613 - But I got to get to class. - Ugh. Fine. 81 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,549 But, Kimberly, clear out your schedule because we're gonna 82 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,213 pass these out to every student on campus. 83 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,784 Ooh, how many copies did you grab? 84 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,537 - Like, 75. - Come on. 85 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,123 Hey, read this. I'm featured on pages 31 and 32. 86 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,292 Oh, and in the table of contents. 87 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,170 Bela, you come off amazing in this. 88 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,963 I know, right? 89 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,090 Dude, this could be, like, huge for my career. 90 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,551 I sent it to Tina. Fey at all the big emails. 91 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,762 I'm so happy for you. 92 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,948 You've been working so hard, and it's finally paying off. 93 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,474 Thanks, man. 94 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,619 Hey, uh, have you and Whit talked about housing stuff 95 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,978 - for next year yet? - Oh. Um, no. 96 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,142 - What were you thinking? - I'm gonna move off-campus 97 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,109 with Evangeline and Joe from the comedy magazine. 98 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,044 - Oh, okay, that makes sense. - Yeah, it's gonna be great. 99 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,028 We're gonna live together, write together, 100 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:58,321 maybe try drugs together. 101 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,989 It's gonna be like "SNL" from the '70s 102 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,991 but, like, with way more women and nonwhites. 103 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,409 Okay. 104 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,137 We'll still hang out all the time, though. 105 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,537 - Yeah, for sure. - Bela! 106 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,958 - This article rules. - Aw, that's so sweet. 107 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,459 Um, this is Jorja. 108 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,628 She's one of the newer writers from "The Foxy." 109 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,505 Hey, I'd love to send you some pieces, um, 110 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,588 I've been working on and get your thoughts on them. 111 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,009 - I'd be happy to help. - Oh, my God, thank you. 112 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,554 Amazing. I'll text you later. 113 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,683 That was awesome. 114 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,353 - You're like a campus celebrity. - I know, right? I kind of am. 115 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,289 Ah, you're more famous than that chubby squirrel 116 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:33,815 we feed French fries to. 117 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,900 Oh, my God, I haven't seen him in a while. 118 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,986 Me neither. 119 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,529 Oh, no. 120 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,367 Well, then with all due respect, 121 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,704 President Lacey is a giant penis who hates all women. 122 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,789 Quote me, bitch! 123 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,083 We are making friends like usual, huh? 124 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,210 Essex just cut our funding in half. 125 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,212 - Seriously? - This is gonna kill us. 126 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,232 - Wait. Why would they do that? - Uh, I don't know. 127 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,758 Maybe because the cis, white, hetero, male board 128 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:04,220 doesn't care about women or trans or non binary folk. 129 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,555 Why don't you take a seat? 130 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,515 Help us figure out what we can do. 131 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,891 No, I'm good. 132 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,310 I, um... I was just popping in 133 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,437 on my way to a very important Kappa event. 134 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,148 Oh, something that no one has ever said in this building. 135 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:17,483 Well, I am sure you'll find your fix, okay? 136 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,068 But for the future, 137 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,963 why don't you just let Tova handle the calls, okay? 138 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,381 They are much more likable than you. 139 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,407 I just said that about myself. 140 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,994 - Good news, everyone... - Guess who just made us $40 141 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,456 by donating blood at two different locations? 142 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,334 - Ginger, are you okay? - You look really pale. 143 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,754 - I can't lose this place! - Okay. 144 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,256 ♪ Yeah, I just wanna... ♪ 145 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,425 Hey. When you're done with that work, 146 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,986 - can I talk to you for a sec? - Oh, this isn't work. 147 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,446 I'm trying to figure out what it's called 148 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,346 when 4 people 69. 149 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,598 I think it's 138-ing. 150 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,284 Well, I feel kind of weird for saying this, 151 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,770 but I think I have feelings for a coworker. 152 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:57,690 Kimberly, I am so flattered, but I don't see you that way. 153 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,359 - This is about Canaan. - I don't know what to do. 154 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,323 Obviously, I can't talk to my roommates about it 155 00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,780 because of Whitney and him. 156 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,615 Listen, I totally get why you're into him. 157 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,658 Canaan is a hot boy with rippling muscles 158 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,494 and two heaping scoops of ass. 159 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,288 But you and I both know that you can't act on this. 160 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,932 It could totally blow up your friend group, 161 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,636 your rooming situation, and your work life. 162 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,251 It ain't worth it. 163 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,146 I know, but maybe he has feelings for me, too. 164 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,713 - He does not. - How do you know? 165 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,465 I know his type, and you're not it. 166 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,526 He told me you remind him of his third-grade teacher. 167 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,927 Maybe she was really cool. 168 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:28,763 - He said she had cankles. - Oh, got it. 169 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,365 And that would be you in the situation. 170 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,350 - Yeah, I said "I got it." - I'm so sorry. 171 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,643 I feel like I shot Bambi. 172 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,686 But if I were you, I would avoid him 173 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,814 for the rest of the year and forget about it. 174 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,398 Yeah, I know you're right. 175 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,460 Listen, we all have crushes that we can't act on, 176 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,194 like me and the Pepsi delivery guy. 177 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:46,197 Sure, I left him Polaroids of my tits in his truck, 178 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,575 but that is as far as I'll take it because I'm a professional. 179 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,995 - Oh, I think he can hear you. - Yeah, I want him to. 180 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,413 Hey, Jorge! 181 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,416 ♪ Yeah, we got it like that ♪ 182 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,835 ♪ Yeah, we got it like that ♪ 183 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,295 - You're declaring your major? - Yeah. 184 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,381 I'm officially on the biochemistry 185 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,007 and biophysics track. 186 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,510 So you're gonna do the same major as your boyfriend? 187 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,554 - He is not my boyfriend. - Hmm. 188 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,806 But I do think I'm his girlfriend... it's bad. 189 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:13,683 Whitney, you don't like him. 190 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,061 You need to end this before you take 30 more classes with him 191 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,855 and end up marrying his ass. 192 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,273 I will handle it. 193 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,275 I am going to talk to him today. 194 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,128 Great. You've only tried to break up with him 195 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,392 two other times before, so hopefully this one will stick. 196 00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:29,615 ♪ Duh, duh-duh, duh, duh, yeah, yeah ♪ 197 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,410 ♪ Making me go boy crazy ♪ 198 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,745 ♪ All of a sudden, baby, I... ♪ 199 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,539 How's everyone doing? 200 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,499 What the hell, Bela? 201 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,418 This article is entirely about you. 202 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,044 It literally says your name 203 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,130 more than the name of our magazine. 204 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,715 How did this happen? 205 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:48,259 - I'm so sorry. - I have no idea. 206 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,678 I would have assumed he would have written about all of us. 207 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,032 Maybe the reporter has a crush on me or something. 208 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,099 Nice try. 209 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,559 He's seeing someone, 210 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,854 which he told me after he rejected me brutally. 211 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,106 Then I have no idea how this happened. 212 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,192 This is so strange. 213 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,319 It makes it look like you created "The Foxy" 214 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,737 all by yourself. 215 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,660 Did he show this to you before he printed it? 216 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,782 No. If he had, I would have asked him to Photoshop 217 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,076 my boobs to look bigger. 218 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,536 You know what? 219 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,954 I-I'll reach out to him right now 220 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,390 and make sure he prints a retraction. 221 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,125 - It's fine. - Let's just forget it. 222 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,921 I don't think I can. 223 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,757 In fact, you're uninvited to my half-birthday party. 224 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,092 For those of you who are coming, 225 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,928 I'm registered at Claire's. 226 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:36,265 And I would like it if at least one of you RSVP'd. 227 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,434 You can right now vocally. 228 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,144 - No. - Uh-uh. 229 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,189 Let's get back to work. 230 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,400 ♪ ♪ 231 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,110 There she is. 232 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,194 Hi, honey. 233 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,447 Hi, Dad. 234 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,075 Hey, um, can we talk about the shirt? 235 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,244 Yes. I just wanted to show the world 236 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,995 - how much I support you. - That's great. 237 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,790 It just makes it seem like you're proud to be a gay dad. 238 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,209 - Because I am. - And I just want... 239 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,502 Oh. 240 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,255 That's why the barista called me "zaddy." 241 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,256 Yes. 242 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,091 - Oh, sweetheart. - Hi. 243 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,802 - Oh, you look great. - Thanks. 244 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,887 And your father told me. 245 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,681 - That I'm a lesbian? - Yes, I am. 246 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,349 I just wish you felt comfortable 247 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,850 telling me yourself. 248 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,186 You are not exactly the chillest. 249 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,646 I seem to remember you crying 250 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,731 when I asked to wear sneakers on vacation. 251 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,108 It was St. Barts. 252 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:30,319 We could have run into Lorne Michaels. 253 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,572 Well, I read several articles about what to say to you. 254 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,784 So I acknowledge your sexuality, and I love you. 255 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,327 Love you, too. 256 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,205 So are you excited to go to the Kappa Spring Festival? 257 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,999 Oh, honey, I have been looking forward 258 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,377 to going to this event with you since the moment you got in. 259 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,005 And I cannot wait to see which of my classmates 260 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,715 have aged poorly. 261 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,425 Well, you girls have fun. 262 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,926 I'm off to destroy the only copy 263 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,596 of a very hurtful op-ed I wrote in 1992. 264 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:03,019 ♪ ♪ 265 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,353 What are you doing? 266 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,022 I'm sifting through a bag of beans. 267 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,607 Lila thinks she dropped an AirPod in here. 268 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,027 - Hmm. - What happened to your shirt? 269 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,338 Oh, I tripped and spilled a gallon of oat milk on myself. 270 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:16,032 Oh. Ooh. 271 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:22,788 Oh, will I be seeing you at the Theta party tonight? 272 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,625 - No. - I don't think I can make it. 273 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:26,709 Too bad. 274 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,211 If you change your mind, text me. 275 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,421 Yeah. 276 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:34,550 How do I look? 277 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,927 - Dry. - Right. 278 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,221 See ya. 279 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,890 ♪ Okay, okay ♪ 280 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:44,226 ♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy, I can feel your tummy ♪ 281 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,561 ♪ You can eat it for dessert ♪ 282 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,230 - There she is. - Oh, my God. 283 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,649 Hi. 284 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,609 Ready to watch me kill this presentation? 285 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,736 - Whoop-whoop. - Yeah. 286 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,113 Is something up? 287 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,907 Uh... 288 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,617 yes, but don't worry about it. 289 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,012 I don't want to throw you off. We can just talk after class. 290 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,014 - No, let's talk about it now... - I'm not gonna be able to focus 291 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,748 on my experiment if you don't tell me. 292 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,250 - I think we should break up. - Shit. 293 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,337 Okay, it's not what I thought you were gonna say. 294 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,797 I'm sorry. 295 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,840 No, it's... it's cool. 296 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,342 We're both super busy. 297 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,302 - So this is, like... - Yeah. 298 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,304 - It's mutual. - It's good. 299 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:21,931 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine. 300 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,808 Let's get in there... as friends. 301 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,810 Come on. 302 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,270 So I'll keep titrating the solution 303 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,815 until some precipitate forms, 304 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:35,569 which according to my estimate should... 305 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,197 should, uh... 306 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,448 Sorry. 307 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,493 Lost my focus. Um... 308 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,412 Dude, are you crying? 309 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:48,290 No, my eyes are just really humid right now. 310 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,086 Anyway, so, if you'll focus on the bottom of the beaker, 311 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,755 you'll see... 312 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,758 Okay, now, yes, I am crying. 313 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:01,345 I think I need a minute alone in the hallway. 314 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,475 So, Ash lie... 315 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,644 are you excited to be Kappa president next year? 316 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,104 Oh, my goodness, yes. 317 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,148 You know, I was president my senior year. 318 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,649 Mm-hmm. 319 00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,335 And I got us a computer with the Internet on it. 320 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,486 - Oh, wow. - You did. 321 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,988 Cool story, Mom. 322 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,532 - Buckle up, Ash lie. - You're in for a lot. 323 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,033 I'm on the alumni board. 324 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,120 And every day it feels like some new crisis. 325 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,247 - A Kappa crisis? - Like what? 326 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,666 Did they install unflattering lighting in the bathrooms? 327 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,419 No. 328 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,313 Did you hear what happened at the Syracuse chapter? 329 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,505 No. 330 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,007 They banned the word "sisterhood." 331 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,175 Why would they do that? 332 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,843 Well, they said it's not accurate 333 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,345 and that some of their members aren't women. 334 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,347 - What? - Oh, I don't know. 335 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,932 I actually think that's a good thing, 336 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,934 you know, to create more inclusive language 337 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,686 for trans and non binary folks. 338 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,814 Well, I just think if you don't see yourself as a woman, 339 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,566 - then form your own group. - Mm. 340 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,276 Let us be sisters. 341 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,528 But how can they form their own clubs with no support 342 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,614 or funding from the school, you know? 343 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,867 Just to be clear, my best friend is a homosexual. 344 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,160 - Ralph? - Yes. 345 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,204 - Ah, love Ralph. - Isn't he funny? 346 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,372 - I know! - Sure. I'm gay, too. 347 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,082 But, um, that is actually meaningless 348 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,835 in the context of this conversation, isn't it? 349 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,630 Leight, can I borrow you for a sec? 350 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,508 Look, I know these boomer alums 351 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,384 aren't the most up to date on things, 352 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,053 but today is sort of about getting 353 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,429 donation checks from them. 354 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,306 I promise, it's not worth engaging. 355 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:30,017 Right, but if we don't engage with them, 356 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,477 then who is going to? 357 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,063 Maybe just go talk to somebody else. 358 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,235 ♪ I got this feeling ♪ 359 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,237 ♪ I've been dreaming in a sequence... ♪ 360 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,531 Oh, Zoe, I don't mean to rub it in, 361 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,075 but you really missed out on not going to that econ banquet 362 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,244 - with Canaan. - Huh? 363 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,578 What econ banquet? 364 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,497 The one where Canaan got that award. 365 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,332 It was so fun, and the food was so good. 366 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,833 I loaded up on soup, 367 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,169 and then I realized it was just the appetizer. 368 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,421 Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. 369 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,173 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 370 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,550 He said he invited you 371 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,677 before he invited me and you were busy. 372 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,097 That definitely did not happen. 373 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,474 Will you excuse me a moment? 374 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,892 - Lila? - Hmm? 375 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,769 You want to go to that Theta party tonight? 376 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:15,271 Bitch, I've been going to go, 377 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,774 and I'm wearing a dress that makes my tits sing. 378 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,609 Thanks again for meeting up with me. 379 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,319 - Of course. - I'm happy to. 380 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,256 Oh, and thank you for meeting me during your final exam. 381 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,591 - No other times worked for me. - You're just so impressive. 382 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,284 I want to learn as much as I can from you. 383 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,036 So I read your packet. 384 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,790 And I think you should consider quitting "The Foxy." 385 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,292 Quit? 386 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,186 Jorja, I think you're cool and smart and funny. 387 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,021 And in that way, you really remind me of myself. 388 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,006 But not everyone who's cool and smart and funny 389 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:43,924 has what it takes to be a comedy writer. 390 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,342 Okay. 391 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,803 Oh, you know what I think you'd be great at? 392 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,471 - Advertising. - What? 393 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,395 I bet you could write really cute commercials 394 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,976 for, like, cleaning products or, like, a clever yogurt ad. 395 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,562 I'm not really interested in that. 396 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,481 Do you seriously not have any feedback for me 397 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,858 on anything I wrote? 398 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,568 I could tell you all the things 399 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,820 that didn't really work in here, but I just don't think 400 00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:06,989 that's a good use of either of our time. 401 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,532 Wow. 402 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,993 - At least you're honest. - Always. You got this, Jorja. 403 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,787 I mean, not this but something else. 404 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,709 Oh, did you want me to throw this away for you? 405 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:22,880 ♪ ♪ 406 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,758 - Thank you so much for these. - They're gonna do a lot of good. 407 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,385 Kappa kisses. 408 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,762 Bye. 409 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,391 - Honey? - Hmm? 410 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,519 - Are you okay? - You've been quiet all day. 411 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,855 - Yeah, I don't know. - Uh... 412 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,440 I, um... 413 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,276 I don't think I want this anymore. 414 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,279 - Oh, sweetie, here. - What is going on? 415 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,615 I wanted to be in Kappa just like you, 416 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,910 but I don't feel like me when I'm here. 417 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,204 I think you've just changed. 418 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,247 - And that's okay. - I'm really sorry. 419 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,011 I know how bad that you wanted this for me. 420 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,710 And I just didn't want to let you down. 421 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,379 Oh, no, no, stop. 422 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,880 I just want you to be happy. 423 00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,716 If you don't want to be in Kappa, then don't. 424 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,344 Life is too short to waste on things 425 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,596 that don't bring you happiness. 426 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,266 That's why we don't see Grandma anymore. 427 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,518 I love you, Mom. 428 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,228 Oh, I love you so much, Leighton. 429 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:22,481 - Lovely to see you, Mimi. - Oh, always a pleasure, Mona. 430 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,941 Kappa kisses. 431 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,610 Oh, what a dumb whore, am I right? 432 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,153 Oh, my God. 433 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,446 You know, she once asked me 434 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,407 how to spell the word "biscuit." 435 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,534 Mom, you are such a bitch. 436 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,120 Oh, my God, we would have been good friends in college. 437 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,871 Oh, for sure, we would have been. 438 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,416 ♪ Can't hear what you're saying ♪ 439 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,626 Last pregame of freshman year. 440 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,920 - Let's go! - Yeah! 441 00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,338 Whoo! 442 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,173 ♪ Just lose that attitude ♪ 443 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:51,468 ♪ You know, you know you got to lose that attitude ♪ 444 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,220 ♪ Yeah ♪ 445 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,765 ♪ Give me, give me all that I like ♪ 446 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,368 God, I can't believe this is the last shot 447 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,786 we'll take in this room... I could cry. 448 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,037 Guys, can I just say that this is 449 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,354 the hottest we've ever looked? 450 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:03,638 I mean, Whitney, that dress... 451 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,441 Serving purple and serving tits? 452 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,918 You look like a sexy Barney. 453 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,277 - Thank you. - Thank you. 454 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,695 Listen, I'm single, 455 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,458 and I'm ready to end this year with a bang. 456 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,282 - Ow! - Okay, well, I am just excited 457 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,410 - to have fun with my girls. - Aw, me too. 458 00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,619 Holy shit. 459 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,329 - Hmm? - Guys, stop! 460 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,582 - What's wrong? - I'm getting canceled. 461 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,041 - What? - This girl from "The Foxy" 462 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,960 is blasting my ass on social media. 463 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,879 - I'm sure it's not that bad. - Yeah. 464 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,380 "Five things I learned 465 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,133 at Essex's so-called feminist comedy magazine." 466 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,927 - Maybe it's a nice post. - She said she learned things. 467 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,890 "Bela Malhotra is a misogynistic comedy dictator 468 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:41,143 who hates all women, including herself"? 469 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,561 Fuck, this is so bad. 470 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,244 Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to quit comedy 471 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,398 and become a pharmacist like all my dumb cousins. 472 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,317 There has to be a misunderstanding. 473 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,778 Yeah, agreed. I mean, you definitely don't hate yourself. 474 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,255 If anything, you like yourself too much. 475 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,572 Exactly. 476 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,216 Listen, just talk to this girl tomorrow 477 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,700 - and smooth it over. - Yeah. 478 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,494 You don't need to let it ruin your night. 479 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,953 I'm with Whitney. 480 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,681 I mean, the girl has, like, 40 followers, okay? 481 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,391 - Nobody will ever see that. - Yeah, you're right. 482 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,143 All right, um, let's take one more shot before we go. 483 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,293 - Yes! - Thank you. 484 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,878 That's what I'm talking about. 485 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,481 Or we could take a five-minute nap and then go. 486 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,340 - Are you fucking kidding me? - All right. 487 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,760 ♪ Is it desire? ♪ 488 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,849 ♪ ♪ 489 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,268 - Shit! - This party is going off! 490 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,063 My favorite bitches! 491 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,397 - What's up? - Yeah! 492 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,358 Welcome to the Dare or Dare Party. 493 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,193 You are obligated to do the dare 494 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,545 written on the bottom of your cup. 495 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,363 - Oh! - What kind of dares? 496 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,823 Oh, I read them all. 497 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,383 On this side of the table, they're horny. 498 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,117 And here, they're just plain nasty. 499 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,578 - I took one of both. - Oh. 500 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,205 "Smash face with a redhead"? 501 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,415 - Ooh, I want that one. - Okay. 502 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,584 - Thank you. - Damn it, Jocelyn. 503 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,754 I'm not gonna jiggle a stranger's tit at this party. 504 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,422 - "Twerk"? - I can't twerk. 505 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,651 I wasn't allowed to dance with my bottom half growing up. 506 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,219 We don't actually have to do these, do we? 507 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,305 Oh, Jocelyn seems to think we do. 508 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,891 Oh, my God. 509 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,853 That is a lot of tongue. 510 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,064 I brushed my teeth so good tonight. 511 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:12,276 I am I, 000% making out with someone at this party. 512 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,902 Ooh, let's pick out some hotties 513 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,404 and wing-woman each other hard. 514 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,365 - Ooh, okay, okay, sure. - Let's see my options. 515 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,950 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 516 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:24,079 Oh, we got a guy slurping a Taco Bell Fire Sauce packet 517 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,207 and a dude who's dancing tragically off the beat. 518 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,668 Yeah, I don't think any of these guys are my type. 519 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:33,463 So what are you looking for? 520 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,591 Um... 521 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,428 I will let you know when I see it. 522 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:46,184 ♪ ♪ 523 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,270 - Hey. - Hey. 524 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,938 I thought you said you weren't coming? 525 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,441 - Uh, turns out I am and did. - What are you doing? 526 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,110 Um, trying to find a cup with a dare I actually want to do. 527 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:58,405 This one says "motorboat Lila," and it has her phone number. 528 00:19:58,488 --> 00:19:59,968 Yeah, she definitely wrote that one. 529 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,367 Can you just be a good citizen and throw it out? 530 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:07,205 - Wait. What's that one? - Uh... 531 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,666 "Kiss a stranger." 532 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,293 That one's not a bad one. 533 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,128 Well, we both know each other, 534 00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,505 so you're in the clear, sir. 535 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,258 Yeah. 536 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,510 Yo, Canaan! 537 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:23,972 Oh, my friends just got here, so I'm... I'ma... 538 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,183 - Yeah, of course. Go. - Yeah. Okay, all right. 539 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:27,476 Yeah. 540 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,186 ♪ I'm okay ♪ 541 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:33,482 ♪ Yeah, I'm happy I need someone ♪ 542 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,902 Ginger, love that you're wearing a long coat indoors. 543 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:39,863 Thank you. It belonged to my elderly neighbor. 544 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,156 But I can't stay long. 545 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,116 I gave blood twice again this evening, 546 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,826 so I am feeling weak. 547 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,996 Also, I do not like the way that guy is looking at me. 548 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,710 - Why don't you go sit down? - Okay. 549 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,963 - I'll go deal with that later. - You sure she's good? 550 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,297 She's fine. 551 00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,676 - So how is Kappa? - Um, I quit. 552 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,052 Oh, no. 553 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,596 Did you find an even blonder place to live? 554 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,057 - Wait. Are you being serious? - I am. 555 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,935 I decided I would rather spend my time at the Women's Center, 556 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:13,981 you know, with, um, people I actually like. 557 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,024 If this is because you vandalized another statue 558 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,194 and got community service, I will find out. 559 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,531 Um, also, I have this. 560 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,659 ♪ ♪ 561 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,369 Holy shit. 562 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,037 $30,000? 563 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,831 My mom was gonna donate it to Kappa, 564 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:33,834 so I told her where it would do better things. 565 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,545 This is going to completely save us. 566 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:40,132 ♪ ♪ 567 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,384 I am so sorry. I should not have done that. 568 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,945 - No, no, no, no. - No, you should have. 569 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,762 What about your girl Tatum? 570 00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,097 I ended things with her 571 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,890 the night of your fundraiser, actually. 572 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,827 Because of how hot I looked in my Elton John costume? 573 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,451 You know, I still have that. 574 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,439 - I could go get that right now. - Shut up. 575 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:59,818 ♪ I'm happy I need your love ♪ 576 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:04,197 ♪ I'm happy I want your love ♪ 577 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,159 ♪ Yeah, I'm happy I need someone ♪ 578 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,411 Canaan, are you leaving? 579 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,622 Uh, Yeah, a bunch of us are headed to a party on Edgewood. 580 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:13,915 You want to come with? 581 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,210 ♪ ♪ 582 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,091 No. I'm gonna stay. 583 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:26,261 - Have fun. - Okay, bye. 584 00:22:26,344 --> 00:22:29,264 ♪ Run away, run away ♪ 585 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,767 ♪ Ru... ru... run away ♪ 586 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,811 ♪ Run away, yeah ♪ 587 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,647 ♪ ♪ 588 00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,734 - Bela. - Hey! 589 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,670 Oh, there's a couch here that they're trying to get rid of. 590 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,571 Should we take it for the house next year? 591 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:45,774 They call it the sperm bank, 592 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:47,142 but we don't have to call it that. 593 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,701 That post from Jorja is so messed up. 594 00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:52,120 - I know. - Huge overreaction, right? 595 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,804 Comedy writers need to have a thick skin. 596 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,472 Look at all the stuff that happened to me 597 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:56,625 in "The Catullan." 598 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:58,335 Dude, we're not agreeing with you. 599 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,229 What happened to you at "The Catullan" was horrible, 600 00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:02,839 and our magazine was created to be a better alternative 601 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,049 to that toxic shit. 602 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:05,801 Don't you remember? 603 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:08,303 I mean, since you were the one who created our group. 604 00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:10,514 - Wait. - Is that what this is about? 605 00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:12,317 You guys are just mad that I'm still getting 606 00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,725 too much credit in that article. 607 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:16,103 We talked to the reporter, Bela. 608 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,647 - He showed you the article. - You lied to us. 609 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:22,526 - That article was one thing. - That was normal, selfish Bela. 610 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:25,278 But being that brutal to Jorja, it's not okay. 611 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,531 And what Jorja put online about you, 612 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,158 I'd say it was pretty fucking well written. 613 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,744 - You're fired from "The Foxy." - What? 614 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,704 Clearly, you're the only person 615 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:37,040 who lives up to your own comedy standards. 616 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,043 - So go be funny alone. - No, please don't do this. 617 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,587 It's gonna make living together super awkward next year. 618 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,173 - We gave your room to Carla. - Wait. We did? 619 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,259 - Oh. - We did. 620 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:49,469 - Fine. - Wait, guy... 621 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:51,513 ♪ ♪ 622 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,223 Fuck. 623 00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,519 Hey, Lila, uh, can I ask you a question? 624 00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,354 I'm not currently taking any questions. 625 00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,565 My cup said I had to find 50 people to kiss, 626 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:04,109 and I've only found 34. 627 00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:06,695 - Okay, 35. - Happy to help. 628 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,822 - Have you seen Canaan? - He left a little bit ago. 629 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:10,949 - Okay. - Ooh, but if you see him, 630 00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:12,760 let him know that he's gonna open up Sips tomorrow 631 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:14,595 because I do plan on calling out sick to myself. 632 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,746 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 633 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,748 Bye, 35. 634 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:19,833 Mm. 635 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:22,711 Hi, number 36. You're cute. 636 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,255 Do you like your women much, much taller than you? 637 00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:34,222 ♪ ♪ 638 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,017 ♪ Oh, there she goes again ♪ 639 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:40,061 ♪ Every morning it's the same ♪ 640 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:41,813 ♪ You walk on by... ♪ 641 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:45,025 - Canaan! - Hey. 642 00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:46,401 Hey. 643 00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:49,237 Um, can I talk to you for a sec? 644 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:50,864 Yeah. 645 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:53,241 Y'all go on. I'll catch up with you. 646 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,076 - What's up? - You lied. 647 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,038 - I lied? About what? - Zoe. 648 00:24:58,121 --> 00:24:59,748 You never invited her to that event. 649 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:00,916 She told me. 650 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,542 Why would you lie? 651 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,211 That's a great question... 652 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:06,755 Because that lie would make no sense. 653 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:11,635 - You wanted me to go with you. - You invited me first. 654 00:25:11,718 --> 00:25:13,929 ♪ Can't wait anymore... ♪ 655 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:16,598 Fine. I did. 656 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,392 You trying to embarrass me or something? 657 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,979 ♪ In my dreams, you're with me ♪ 658 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:27,442 ♪ We'll be everything I want us to be ♪ 659 00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:29,611 ♪ For the first time ♪ 660 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:34,532 ♪ Or is that just me and my imagination? ♪ 661 00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:36,576 ♪ We walk, we laugh ♪ 662 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:40,455 ♪ We spend our time walking by the ocean side ♪ 663 00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:43,458 ♪ Our hands are gently intertwined ♪ 664 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:46,002 ♪ A feeling I just can't describe ♪ 665 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,964 ♪ And all this time we spent alone... ♪ 666 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,132 So I have some news. 667 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,426 Alicia and I are back together. 668 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:55,262 - And I'm not gonna lie. - Mm. 669 00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:58,139 - I am really happy about it. - Aw. 670 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,100 - Yay. - Wait. 671 00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,643 So, if you're not moving into Kappa 672 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,287 and Bela's not living off-campus anymore, 673 00:26:03,311 --> 00:26:05,031 then we could all live together next year... 674 00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,315 I mean, if you all want. 675 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,650 - You know what? - I'm down. 676 00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,194 - What about you, Bela? - Um... 677 00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:13,655 Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little distracted this morning. 678 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,698 Is this still about that girl from the magazine? 679 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:17,534 Why don't you just talk to her, right? 680 00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,619 I'm sure she would be open to hearing you out. 681 00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,580 Yeah, totally. I have a meeting about it at, uh, 10:15. 682 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:23,664 - Oh, great. - Great. 683 00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,417 Okay, good. I'm glad. 684 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,838 So, Kimberly, how was your night? 685 00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,506 Anything interesting happen? 686 00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:37,012 No, not really. 687 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:46,313 ♪ I left home in the summer ♪ 688 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,189 You can really taste the peach in this one. 689 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:49,190 Yeah. 690 00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,859 - Hey. - Hey. 691 00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:53,570 Um, so I heard Leighton turned down that room for next year. 692 00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:56,239 - Yeah. - I want it. 693 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:58,742 - Okay. - Take a seat. 694 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:01,453 ♪ When I hugged my brother ♪ 695 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,580 I was rude and disrespectful, 696 00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:05,457 and I feel awful about it. 697 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:09,085 I came to Essex for "The Catullan." 698 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,713 That blew up. 699 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,131 Um... 700 00:27:13,214 --> 00:27:16,801 I, um, got kicked out of this new group. 701 00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:19,387 No one wants to work with me. 702 00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:23,099 I have a 1.8 GPA. 703 00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:27,854 I broke an amazing guy's heart by being selfish. 704 00:27:29,522 --> 00:27:31,775 All I want is for people to like me, 705 00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:36,279 but, um, I just keep hurting people instead. 706 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:40,158 So I'd like to transfer. 707 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:49,042 ♪ Do I want? ♪ 708 00:27:49,125 --> 00:27:55,757 ♪ I awoke in a warm bath ♪ 709 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,928 ♪ With words still in my head ♪ 710 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:05,100 ♪ ♪ 711 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:10,939 ♪ They remain unspoken ♪ 712 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:12,440 ♪ ♪ 713 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:16,152 ♪ And follow me to death ♪ 714 00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:20,865 ♪ ♪ 715 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:27,122 ♪ What do I want? ♪ 716 00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:31,751 ♪ Do I want ♪ 717 00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:33,920 ♪ ♪ 718 00:28:34,003 --> 00:28:36,548 ♪ Anything? ♪ 719 00:28:36,631 --> 00:28:43,721 ♪ ♪ 720 00:28:59,737 --> 00:29:05,577 ♪ Do you ever look back? ♪ 721 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:08,163 ♪ ♪ 722 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:10,373 Go to bed. 53651

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