All language subtitles for Ghosts.S02E09.WEBRip.x264-ION10

HOLLY [on TV]: That's the thing
about Christmas.

All you have
to do is believe.

DEREK:
Well, I believe

that I love you.What are we watching?

It's a made-for-TV
Christmas movie called

Single and Ready to Kringle,
and it's amazing.

Yeah, well, a lot
of plot holes, though.

I mean, how does Derek afford
a chalet like that

on a Christmas tree
farmer's salary?

And why is Holly
quitting her job in the city?

She was so driven.SAMANTHA:
Oh, Jay, Holly wasn't

happy in the city.Mm.

And Derek was an heir
to the North Pole fortune.

Yeah, Holly wants
to get up on that North Pole.

Please don't make
Christmas dirty, Trevor.

It's pure and beautiful.

And everyone loves it.

Why Christmas decorations
in Thor's room?

Thor hate Christmas.

Well, almost everyone.

Okay, so, apparently,
Thor hates Christmas.

Oh, boy, that's not gonna fly,
not in Sam's house.

SAMANTHA:
Jay's right. Christmas

is not just
a holiday to me.

It's a season,
it's a lifestyle.

It's a coffee flavor
that she starts using in June.

Christmas steals best part

of Norse Yule Festival
and make lame.

Takes wise Odin, turn him
into stupid-faced fat man.

Huh. Isn't that like that
cultural appropriation thing

you're always saying
is so bad, Sam?

Uh, no, nope, I-I think
that this is different.

How is different?

Mock culture,
cause Thor great pain.

Well, you see,
the thing is that

if you really look at it,

then the point
of Chris... Oh!

They're about to get
on the candy cane train.

This is my favorite part.

Saved by the jingle bell.

The...
Not-not saved by the bell,

but saved by the jinglebell.

Oh, I understood.Okay.

♪ ♪

Okay, I just got
a text from Bela.

She's pulling up.

Can you believe it, Jay?

We're hosting friggin' Christmas
at our house.

This is the dream.

Yeah, well, it's just my sister

and probably a bag
of her laundry, but sure.

Hey, Sam, I just want to say
that even though Bela is my ex,

I promise
things will not get weird.

Okay, "ex" feels a little strong
for someone

who doesn't live on the
same plane of existence as you.

The point is,
she's a great girl,

she deserves to be happy,[door opens]

and I want her
to find somebody.

Hey! [laughs]Merry Christmas! [exclaims]

Hey.

Hi.
Hi.
Hey.

Hey there. Hi.

Oh, I hope it's okay
I brought someone.

This is Eric.

Well, hello, Eric.Hello.

Hi. I'm Bela's
brother, Jay.

Great. Great, Jay.

Who's this schmuck?

You just said you wanted
her to meet somebody.

Yeah, but not bring him here.

She knows I haunt this house.
This is just rude.

Ugh. My car got booted
and I needed a ride.

Turns out, if you park
at a Dunkin' Donuts

for more than two weeks,
they will take action.

Well, it's Christmas,
so the more, the merrier.

Welcome, Eric.

Oh, thanks.It's great to have you. Um,

should I be making up
a second room or...

Yeah, are you guys...

That's an unfortunate
hand gesture.

Oh. [laughing]: Oh God.

Oh, God, no.

[laughing]:
Okay, she's not into him.Oh, no.

We've just been
friends forever.

Can you even
imagine, Eric?

[gags, laughs]No.

Ugh. This poor guy.BELA: No.

May I use your restroom?

Probably needs
to check to see

if his man parts
are still there.

Of course. It's just back there

behind the tree.

He seems nice.
What does he do?

Oh, he's an architect.

He actually owns his own firm.

They just did the new wing
at the hospital.

A cute, successful architect,
and he's single?

Yeah. And, honestly, I think

he might have a little thing for
me, but I'm just not into him.

Why not?Too stable? Too nice?

Too normal?I don't know.

He's just, like, always there
for me, doing anything I need.

He's, like, always
driving me to the airport.

He's helped me move,
like, four times.

What a monster.

Well, the holidays have
a funny way of helping you see

what's been right in front
of your face all along.

Thank you, but I don't think
I need any help

when it comes to men. [chuckles]

By the way, is Trevor around?

Aw, she asked about me.

Okay. Uh, Jay, if you could
point us to the rooms,

I'll grab the bags.

Oh, I'll help.
It's just right up the stairs.

Oh, great, and then,

I'm making everybody
Christmas cookies.

[laughs]

Yeah, definitely don't
give this guy a chance.

HETTY:
Sorry.

Your little matchmaking attempt
didn't bear any fruit.

Oh, no. I'm not deterred.

Just wait till I sprinkle
a little bit of reindeer dust,

and then it's gonna be just
like a Christmas movie.

What the hell, Sam?
You don't have to fix her up

right in front of my face.You're right, Trevor.

That was insensitive of me.

It's just that he seems
like a nice guy,

and you don't have a body.

Ooh.

[chuckling]:
Okay, well, I'm still a person.

Are you? Are we?

I actually don't know.

That is a
complicated question.

PETE:
How about "Jingle Bells"?

FLOWER:
Let's do "Silent Night."

ALBERTA:
No, no, no, it should be
"White Christmas."

What are you guys doing?

Oh, brainstorming song ideas.

It's gonna be our present
for Sam on Christmas morning.

ALBERTA:
We're calling our little group

Alberta and the
Christmas Cookies.

We hadn't really
landed on that yet.

It's Alberta and the
Christmas Cookies.

And we have a name.

Isaac, did you see
the mistletoe?

Are you gonna bring Nigel by

for a special holiday treat?

Oh, well, I would, but...

I wouldn't want
to be too insensitive

to others
by flaunting my happiness.

What are you talking about?

Well, I hesitate to bring
this up in present company,

but there was
the face-palm incident

between Pete and Alberta.

Oh, right.

When Pete tried
to kiss Alberta

and then she palmed his
face like a basketball.

Yeah, that was hard to watch.

I was told to be proud.

In any case, I'm okay.
Don't hold back for me.

Well, we're not really ones
for public displays.

Okay, but how's it going
in private?

Well, we're not really big
on private displays.

So, y'all haven't
kissed yet? At all?

That is correct.

Isaac, it's been months.

I would've slept with him
and his bass player by now.

Well, we're moving
at our own pace.

Doesn't sound like
you're moving at all.

Oh.Whew.

Man, when Pete's slamming
your sex life,

that is not a place
you want to be.

Agreed.I don't owe any of you

an explanation. Hmm?

So, uh, bass player, huh?

Incredibly
nimble fingers.

ALBERTA: Ooh.I played the oboe.

Cool.

SASAPPIS:
What's wrong, Trevor?

It's just
this whole thing with Bela.

Seeing her again

has brought up a lot
of old feelings.

I actually like her.
And she likes me.

And now I have to watch Sam
set her up with this dweeb.

What does he have
that I don't?

A body. Big whoop.

Hmm.What?

Well...

[chuckles]
No. It's crazy.

No. What? Say it.

Well, we know
from Hetty and Jay

how a ghost can possess
a person, right?

Yeah.

And Bela did say that Eric

would do basically
anything she asked.

Oh, my God, Sass, you're saying

that I possess Eric
so I can be with Bela?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Sass, you're a genius.

Hey, I don't know
if this will be successful.

But if it is,
it'll be the greatest thing

I've ever been a part of.

We're sending you
where no ghost has gone before.

Inside Eric.Inside Eric.

Hey. What's going on here?

Sam is attempting
to recreate a scene

from Single and Ready
to Kringle,

in which Derek
and Holly fall in love

while building
a gingerbread house together.

Just get 'em drunk, Sam.

Oh, uh, I should
check on some laundry,

but if you two feel like having
a frosting fight or anything,

don't worry about the mess.

Oh. That's nice.

Yes! They left the iPad open.

Uh, what are you two
knuckleheads up to?

Look, it's groundbreaking.
That's all you need to know.

Oh, come on, man. We're cool.
We're not gonna narc.

Fine. We're texting Bela

to see if she'll convince Eric
to let me possess him for a day

so that she and I can
finally be together.

[gasps] This is the greatest
thing I ever heard.

[both giggling]

One small step for a ghost,

one giant leap for ghost kind.

Yes.Okay, Trevor, do your thing.

Oh, first one's always
a little off.Okay.

Take your time, take
your time, take your time.

You got it,
you got it, you got it.

[TV plays quietly]SAMANTHA: Operation

Boyfriend for Bela
is underway.

Samantha, I was watching
Bodices and Barons

and he changed the channel.
Admonish him.

Sparks flying?Not yet. Phase one:
start off wholesome.

Then we turn the heat up
with phase two: ice skating.

Okay, babe, if you want
to turn up the heat,

have Eric go outside
and chop some wood.

Why?Because Bela loves
these videos.

She sends them to
the family thread.

This is a lumberjack from Maine

Oh, yeah.With 300,000 followers.

This one's really thick.

Oh, my.

Oh, my.

Do another.
Do it now.

Wait. I'm on the family thread.

Why haven't I seen these?

Yeah, there's another
family thread.

Champa calls it
the Core Group.

THORFINN:
Hey.

Sam not core group
in own family.

[laughs]
Very funny.

What's the Skittle?

Our doorknob.

Oh. [chuckles]

And.... sent. [exhales]

[phone buzzes]

Oh, my God, we have contact.

ALBERTA:Ooh. She's smiling.
That's good.

All right, everybody,
just calm down.

She's typing.

Ooh, the, uh, the
marshmallow could be like

the smoke coming out
of our chimney.

Hang on a sec.Yes.

[whoosh, chime]

[gasping]Holy hell.

She said yes!This is incredible!

[laughing]

[screaming, laughing,
whooping]

And we are now ready
to receive mail.

Congrats,
Teddy Bear on a rainbow.

You have made
the Christmas tree.

This not Christmas tree.

This tree of Balder,
god of sun!

You desecrate
my culture, small man.

Whoa.

Sam's letting you make
tree-decorating decisions

on your own?

No, I have
very detailed instructions.[laughs]

Hilarious that
she thinks he's joking.Hm.

Hey, I don't think I ever
asked you about that time

you got possessed by a ghost.

Oh, uh, no, you didn't.

No, Bela,
you got to ease into it.

Yeah, he's gonna
see right through that.

I mean, I joked
about it. [chuckles]

Victorian lady inside of you.

Objectively funny.

But it must've been weird
and probably a little scary.

It was a little scary,
thank you.

Well, if you want someone
to talk to,

I'd love to hear how you felt,
and, you know,

like, maybe a little bit
about how it happened.

That's very nice of you, Bela.

Ooh, she knows
just what buttons to push.

Well, I was standing
right over there

and I was trying
to fix that sconce.

Where exactly?

Oh, well... right here.

And then, I was up
on a ladder, obviously.

A ladder. Right.
And where do you keep that?

No! Too close to the sun.Be cool, Bela.

In the supply closet,
but why does that matter?

Jay, I'm just trying
to be here for you.

I feel like you went through
this really traumatic thing

and you can't even talk
to your friends about it.

Must be so hard.

It is. It is hard.

God, I'm so glad
you're here, Bela.Oh.

She saved it.

Hey, that's what family's for.

Now, this supply closet--
is that on this floor?

Hey, bud. [chuckles]

Excited about the
big day tomorrow?

Yes.

I'm sure my 280th Christmas

will be my best one yet.
Yippee.

[chuckles]
Um, look, about before...

I get being nervous
about physical intimacy.

I mean, heck,
I'm no Burt Reynolds myself.

I don't know who that is, Pete.

Cannonball Runstar,
married to Loni Anderson.

That clears everything up.

Oh, it's just vexing,
these nerves.

I'm no neophyte.

My Beatrice and I
locked lips many times.

Over a hundred.

Yeah, but it's different
this time.

I mean, Nigel gives you those

butterflies in your stomach,
right?

I mean, I suppose so.
I died of dysentery,

so it's always
sort of gurgling down there.

But, yes, he does produce

a certain flutter
that seems distinct from gas.

And that is why it's gonna be
the best kiss you've ever had.

You're saying that
the fact that I'm nervous

is a good thing?

It's a great thing.

You've waited so long.

You deserve this, Isaac.

You just have to
get out of your own way.

Thank you, Pete.

And I hope you don't
give up on kissing entirely,

you know,
after the face-palm incident.

We don't need
to keep bringing that up.

It's in the past,
like it never happened.

[laughs]Oh, but it did happen.

And it was chilling to witness.

Well, I'm sorry
you had to go through that.

Thank you.

SAMANTHA:
Hey, Bela.

I was, uh, just thinking

it might be nice
to have a fire tonight,

so maybe you could
go outside with Eric

and watch him
chop some firewood.

Sam, are you trying
to turn this weekend

into a real-life
Christmas movie?

[chuckles]
I don't know what you mean.

Well, I don't want
to get your hopes up,

but I think your very obvious
matchmaking might be working.

I could see something
happening with me and Eric.

Seriously?All I'm gonna say is

this will definitely be
a Christmas to remember.

Oh, my God. They always
say that in the movies.

They alwayssay that.

Hey, guys. Uh, Sam, did you
leave a flannel shirt

and suspenders
on my bed?

Oh, uh, laundry mishap.
[chuckles]

They're Jay's.
Anyway,

I'm gonna go downstairs,
but text me

if you guys need anything
from the market.

I am going
to start a grocery list.Oh.

Mead. Sam!
You never have mead.

You and small man drink,
I watch.

[chuckles]
Very fun.

Hey, Eric, sit down.

There's something
I want to talk to you about.

Is everything okay?

You remember how I told you

that I think
this house might be haunted?

Yeah.

Looks like
she's getting started.

Come on, Bela.
Bring us home, baby.

Well, the thing is...
it is haunted.

How-how do you know
that it's haunted?

Okay, this is gonna sound
weird, so just go with me.

Okay.You know that finance bro
I was talking to for a while?

Uh, uh, Trevor, right?

Yeah. Well, the thing is,

Trevor's a ghost.

Like, he ghosted you?

No, like, he's dead,

and he's an actual ghost,
and he haunts this house.

I'm sorry. You must
think I'm crazy.

[scoffs] You know,
so, after my Pop Pop died,

my Nana said that
she could still talk to him

and nobody believed her.

But I did.

So, no, I...
I don't think you're crazy.

Just wait, bro.

We're going way past Nana.

It's just, I really like Trevor,
and he likes me.

But I've never been able to
actually see him and touch him.

This is it. Bottom of the ninth,
bases loaded.

I'm so invested.
I'm so nervous.

Eric...

would you let Trevor
possess your body

so that we can be together?
Just for a day.

Wow, boy.

Uh, this is a lot.

Um...Yeah, I know, take your time.

Uh, okay, so,
j-just so I have all the facts,

how would this even work?

Like, would I do a séance
or something?

No, you just
electrocute yourself

by touching exposed wiring

and then your body gets
thrown back into the ghost.

Yeah, I don't love that part.

It's-it's fine, Eric.
You don't have to do it.

Look, cards on the table--
I really like you.

And someday,
I hope, maybe

we'll even end up together.

But this whole Trevor thing--
I can see

this is something you need
to get out of your system.

You need
to sow your wild ghosts.

[chuckles softly]

So-- I cannot believe

that I'm saying this-- but...

Bela, if this is what
you want for Christmas,

I'm in. [chuckles]

Yes![screaming, whooping]

Thank you, Eric.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

My pleasure.

This guy is mentally ill
but I love him!

ISAAC:
Thank you for walking me
back to the mansion, Nigel.

It was a lovely evening.

Oh, my.

We find ourselves
beneath the mistletoe.

Indeed, we do.

That most suggestive
of greenery.

Well, we don't have to
follow tradition, Isaac.

We can just say good night.

No! Nonsense.

We've waited this long.

We should do this.

Well, i-if that's what you want.

Why is your hand
upon my face?

I'm not sure.

Could you remove it?

Terribly sorry.

Just a... an unfortunate reflex.

But a telling one.

I've been patient, Isaac,

but it's clear to me you're
just not ready for this.

I'm sorry to say,
I think our relationship,

such that it is, should end.

End?

Wait. Don't leave like that.

I have things to attend to
in the shed.

Well, I could give you a hand.

I've had quite enough
of your hand for one night.

Happy Christmas.

[knocking]Come in.

Hey, merry Christmas Eve.

I just wanted to say good night.

Aw, good night, Bela.

Merry Christmas Eve to you, too.

We're so happy you're here.

Me too.

So, you guys just
gonna go to sleep?

Yeah.Cool, cool. Me too.

Like, right now?

Uh-huh.

Okay, good night.

[door closes]

I am so excited
about her and Eric.

I don't want to get my hopes up,

but she does seem different
this trip.

Like, more together
or something.

I know, right?

I really think she's starting
to make good decisions.

Okay, so Trevor,
you stand right here,

and when Eric gets electrocuted,
he'll fly back into you.

Stay close
to the host body.

I believe that was key
to my successful possession.

You good? Feeling loose?Oh, I got this.

I got this.FLOWER:
We're rooting for you, Trevor.

It's very exciting.

Even I have never had
this kind of threesome.

And if you should come
across any morphine, do it.

Let Eric handle
the withdrawals.

Now, when Trevor goes to sleep,

he is gonna put in
my retainer, right?

What's happening here?

You said you were
going to sleep.

I was putting out milk
and cookies for Santa.

Why is Eric
up the ladder?

Uh...

Oh, my God.

You're trying to get Eric
possessed by Trevor, aren't you?

Hey, babe, look, I know

the snickerdoodles
are for Santa, but

could I just have one?
What's going on here?

Nothing.Bela's trying to get
Eric possessed by Trevor.

Don't be a rat, Sam.

Is that why you asked me

about getting possessed
by Hetty?

You didn't care
about my feelings.

Both things can be true, Jay.Wait. You got possessed?

How could you, Bela?

Did the electrocution part hurt?

Because that's the part that I'm
sort of very concerned about.

We're not going through
with this, Eric.

That's not your call, Jay.

Trevor, Eric and I are
three consenting adults.What?

This is epically bad,
even for you, Bela.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it's just one weird,

bad relationship after the next.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jay.

Not all of us can
have perfect marriages

and a house
that smells like cinnamon.

She puts little sticks
in the heating ducts.

At first I deemed it overkill

but now I find it
quite pleasant.

I'm not asking you
to have a perfect marriage.

I'm asking you not
to sleep with a ghost

on Christmas in my house!

You know what?
I don't need this.

Trevor, I'm sorry
it didn't work out,

and I'm sorry you have
to haunt a house with such

a judgmental jerk.
I'm going to bed.

So, Christmas morning,

are you guys like an "everyone
takes turns opening presents"

kind of family, or is it more
of a free-for-all situation?

Go to bed, Eric.Absolutely. Merry Christmas.

This is so unfair.
I was so close.

Don't you start, Trevor.
You ruined Christmas.

And you ruined
the seventh night of Hannukah.

We all told him
it was a bad idea.Yeah.

We really did.Mm-hmm. He wouldn't
listen to us.

Morning, Thor.
Merry Christmas.

Yeah.

So, hideous decorations
come down tomorrow?

Most people like to leave it
till after New Year's,

but I go all the way up
to Groundhog Day.

[groans]
Yeah.

What happen to light?

Oh, it's kind of a long story.

I'd rather not think
about it on Christmas.

I should screw that
back on, though.

Careful.

Aah!

[gruff voice]:
What happen?

Why hands so small and clean?

ALL:
Merry Christmas, Sam!

We can't give you much,
but we can give you this.

[in harmony]:
♪ Silent night, holy... ♪

No! Hate this song!

I told y'all we should've went
with "White Christmas".

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