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Hey.

Hey, how ya doing?

- Hey. - Hi, Jimmy.

Hey, how you doing, Carly?

Julie.

Jimmy.

- How are ya? - All right.

Well, what's the verdict?

Just a few more months.

What you gonna do with the time you have left?

What would you do?

Oh, I'll get that, I'll get that.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Well.

No, ma'am and you and me, we're not the same.

We'd probably choose different things.

Not true.

We're human.

We'd choose the same things.

Life, love, happiness.

You forgot money.

It starts with money, then we realize life is short

and we have to catch up on the other three.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, where's the fire?

Jimmy, my old lady, I just don't understand her.

Women, right?

Women.

Hi, I know you're kidding, or I dropped this tray

on both your asses.

If we'd be angry, we'd be an emotional car.

- That's true. - No, that's the worst thing.

- What's up, guys. - Oh, hey.

The gang's all here.

Hey.

I'm Carly, welcome to EA.

Thanks.

Come on in, we're about to get started.

Hi, everyone.

I'm Julie.

Hi, Julie.

No questions, no advise, stick it to yourself.

Many of you know I struggle with this step.

I come back to it.

I skip it.

I come back to it again.

For today I shall think of my higher power.

Myself and my neighbor.

I'm going to try and relax and be truthful.

Hi.

My name is Faith.

Hi, Faith.

You said to give ourselves over to the care of God.

I know my name is Faith but I'm not sure

if I believe in God.

It's not about God, it's about a higher power within us.

Our spirituality.

Many of us don't believe in God.

We don't judge each other for it.

It's the higher power within us moving us forward

towards a greater wellbeing.

Yeah, that's exactly what I...

Oh, sorry.

Hi, I'm Jimmy.

Hi, Jimmy.

Hi.

She's right, you know.

I've seen war.

Pain.

Death.

I've known there's something out there

that's keep me tied to humanity.

Makes everything worthwhile.

After coming here I've learned I can't control everything

that happens in my life.

Only my reactions.

How do you resolve your problem, Julie?

I didn't, not really.

But I did do something to help me come to terms.

I had dealt with my pain in secret for so long.

That I actually, I finally told my best friend.

I know if I tell you in person

I can tell if you're being honest or not.

So, what is it?

What did I do?

About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed

with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

- I went through the basics. - Talk to me.

Chemo and whatnot.

A window.

It slowed the cancer down, but not by much.

The window before the friend zone.

I was so angry and frustrated.

Answer the fucking question.

All the time.

I'm not gonna answer this question.

And I did not know what to do about it.

No matter what I say, I'm still going to be wrong.

I mean, I was angry.

But not at a doctor or at my cancer

but at myself.

My whole, my own body betrayed me.

I'm not gonna make it.

I'm not gonna have my happily ever after.

Instead of being mad that my life is ending,

I'm coming to terms.

Yes, we had a window,

but Jules, you're my rock.

I've been sick for over a year and a half now

with no change.

It's too late.

I finally told Andrew I was, and now he knows.

It's done.

Nothing's changing.

What do you mean, you aren't getting treatment?

I'm finally content and...

You have to.

Okay with everything.

I'm not gonna be afraid of dying anymore.

So you feel good about this, huh?

You drop this huge ass bomb on your best friend

and now you're content with dying.

And it doesn't matter I suppose how he feels about it

or anybody else fucking feels about it.

Jesus Christ.

One day, we're gonna find Andrew in here.

- That's not fair. - That's not fair.

All right, guys, not now, okay.

We can talk about this after the meeting.

Sometimes you just have to say things out loud.

That's step one.

Admitting that you're powerless to your emotions.

That your life has become unmanageable.

I know my has.

So, Julie, how did that step help you?

It helped me not be angry that I have cancer.

Because cancer had begun to define me.

People die happy, knowing they lived a good life.

I think I was haunted by not being able to have

that fairytale ending I thought I had time for.

Hi, I'm Shawn.

Hi, Shawn.

Step nine is really hard for me.

Many of the ones I needed to do this for

aren't here anymore.

Suitable place for a suitable man.

All these things, these steps aren't easy for me.

You wanna talk about it?

No, I don't wanna talk about it, goddam it.

I just wanna drink in peace.

And admitting that isn't an easy thing to say.

- You need help. - Of course I need help.

And now the whole world goddamn world knows

that I need help.

I still don't understand why I couldn't speak

at my dad's funeral.

You didn't have to say anything.

I'm his son.

His grown-ass son and I couldn't think

of a couple of things to...

It still haunts me.

That was a once in a lifetime opportunity

that I'll never get the chance to fucking say goodbye again.

And it wasn't because I didn't love him.

I don't look like a man.

And that image of myself will be frozen in my brain forever.

I chose step eight and nine to complete after step one.

Not because I was in a hurry.

I'm gonna be the same fucked-up piece of failure he wants.

No, no, no, no, baby, you're not not.

But in case I ran out of time.

If we could take the memorial over,

what would you say?

I would feel good knowing that I did it.

Nothing.

I definitely wouldn't have been able to do that before.

Hi, I'm Carly.

Hi, Carly.

This week I went on my first date

since my divorce with my husband.

It wasn't too bad.

Hi.

Hello, beautiful.

It's nice to officially meet you.

Yeah, I hope I didn't keep you waiting.

I'm disappointed in myself

that I continued on a date with a man

I had no intentions of seeing again.

So, Peter, what do you like to do for fun?

Talk to beautiful women like yourself.

That's nice.

What about you?

What do you like to do for fun?

I'm an artist.

I left Zane hoping that I would find someone

who would treat me better.

And all I found was a guy on Tinder

who's obsessed with making money and getting laid.

What do you wanna paint me in the nude or something?

I just wanna meet Mr. Right.

So, sorry to end such a sour note.

And that's all the time we have in this space today.

We have water and coffee and cookies in the back.

You know, that was selfish of you.

Hmm.

So, why?

We both...

We both were so afraid years ago.

So afraid to lose something we thought we had.

He thought I mattered more than what he was worth.

He thought his feelings for me shouldn't matter.

I didn't wanna die without telling him the truth about me.

If he ever got another opportunity for love,

I wanted him to feel like he was worth it

to take that chance.

That his feelings mattered too.

I know you care about him,

but I think you're gonna end up leaving yourself

with more regret than anything else.

I know we're supposed to work on handling

our feelings here but I had so many emotions to face

and they just needed to be free.

So why'd you leave him hanging like that?

I mean, he's got to be beaten himself up

knowing you suffered this long and never told him.

I was angry.

I guess I still am angry.

I'm dying.

And he can still live.

But he's not really with it.

You know this isn't over yet.

You ain't finished.

Come on.

Come help me put some of this stuff away.

I'll give you a ride home, okay?

You've been quiet all night.

I feel kind of weird telling you this.

But I am fucking pissed right now.

You're pregnant.

What's going on?

We're pregnant.

We're having a baby?

Harper's pregnant.

No, we...

We aren't.

Remember I told you I didn't want this,

not right now.

Hey, congrats.

Yeah, I thought so too.

But how can you dismiss my feelings on this so casually?

That's not what Harper thinks.

I could've lied and never told you,

but you deserve more than that.

This is gonna kill us.

It doesn't have to.

You don't know what you're talking about.

And you let her think you weren't coming back.

It's your body, it's your choice.

But it's our baby.

I love you.

Please don't kill my baby.

What are you gonna do

if she don't change her mind?

I don't know, Jimmy.

I really don't know.

You going back home today?

I should.

I know I should.

I just don't trust myself.

All right, I'll give you one night.

Figure out what you're gonna do and say.

On one condition.

Call her.

How do you do it?

How do you do what?

Connect.

Have you ever been afraid to connect so much

that it hurt to be without someone?

I'm not sure.

I don't really wanna be afraid

to face what's holding me back.

That's what we're here for.

There's a card for the meetings.

My number's on it.

You can call me as long as I'm around.

Here, let me give you my number too.

Thanks, Jules.

- Oh, hello. - Jimmy.

How was group today?

- Productive. - Hmm.

I feel part of the group.

Have you been able to sleep more?

Thank you.

Couple hours on and off.

Night terrors, sweats?

Yeah.

Are you ready to start?

Okay.

Lie back.

Take a couple of deep breaths and relax.

And tell me all about it.

Start at the beginning.

I wake up in a bed.

But it's not mine.

I'm in a girl's room.

I don't recognize it.

Is anyone with you?

No, no, no, not now.

But...

There's just something's not right.

Something don't feel right.

I, I...

I can't pinpoint the cause.

So I reached for my sidearm.

God, they have shit at night, I can't find it.

But I find my Ka-Bar.

We're taking fire but I'm not hit.

I...

I duck and I close my eyes.

It's okay, Jimmy.

You're in a safe place.

Open your eyes and tell me what you see.

I'm in hold ops.

I can still hear bullets firing.

They're firing things, not taking fire.

I wanna move, I've gotta move.

I got unrestricted men.

Just stand down.

I've gotta...

I need to do something.

I've gotta...

No one's listening to me.

No more.

You did good, Jimmy.

You've made progress today.

We finally left the bedroom.

So tell me, how are things at home?

Fine.

How are you feeling about the baby?

Are you still overwhelmed?

No, no, not that...

I don't know anymore.

You know.

It's hard to explain but over there things were simple.

Like the Commander would say,

"Interrogate a target."

Done.

Or "Disable a vehicle."

I did it.

But this thing I'm going through...

A baby?

What?

That shit ain't simple.

You know...

There's all kinds of complex shit to deal with.

I'm a little unconventional.

I'm gonna tell you something that helped my husband

when he came back.

Try going out dancing.

Dancing?

Uh-huh, dancing.

It's reclaiming that trust and harmony in a relationship.

A couple that sways together stays together.

You know, you should check it out.

But don't make it a therapy thing.

Go with some others from group

and try to get your groove back.

And this is gonna help me how?

Give it a try.

It won't hurt you.

You know, sometimes it's the journey

and not the destination that helps you the most.

All right.

Hey.

Where you being?

I went to this EA meeting.

It's supposed to help with my anxiety and whatnot.

Why do you even bother wasting your time

with that bullshit?

You're fine.

There's nothing wrong with you.

So what do you talk about in this meeting?

Nothing.

I didn't say anything, I just listened.

Cool, all right.

Hi.

Julie, this is Patty at Spencer Oncology.

I just wanted to let you know that we're still waiting

for you to make an appointment to go over your lab results.

Can you give us a call back?

Hey, Jules, call me back.

Jules, listen, you can't just spring something like

that on someone and walk away.

That's not fair to you or me.

Call me back.

Jules, please call me back.

You're my best friend.

Whatever you're going through, I'm gonna be there for you.

You know this.

I love you.

Call me back.

It's really deep.

All right, just like when we were at school, all right.

All right, let's do it.

One, two, three.

Got him.

Okay, we're gonna have to redo that one.

Hey, can we get another one?

All right, one more round.

Oh, man, these got bigger.

Oh, ball and chain's back.

What are you doing?

Hey, don't worry about it, boss-lady,

we're just having a good time.

You can't drink away your problems.

Obviously, 'cause you're still here.

We're gonna need another round, please.

Make that two.

No, I'm not doing this right now.

I need a night to think and I can't do that

with you in my ear.

I'll be home tomorrow.

I'm sorry about that.

Here, for you.

Thank you.

You think I couldn't handle a few arguments.

I'm engaged to a veteran with PTSD.

You're arguing about something pretty heavy.

You wanna talk about it?

Especially if you need a whole day to mull it over.

Harper's pregnant.

Well?

You're not ready?

No, that's not it.

I want the baby, but she doesn't.

And I have no say and I feel like

she's not considering my feelings.

Hmm.

That must be tough.

Well, you take all the time you need

to think about things, all right?

Jimmy and I are here for you.

Thanks.

Hi.

How's he doing?

He's getting there.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Avery, get some rest.

Chance, what are you doing here?

I've been drinking and I can't drive

and you're the closest walk.

I think you should go.

- I'll call you a cab. - Save your money.

I'll just sleep it off on the couch

and I'll just leave first thing in the morning.

You're not welcome here, Chance.

Take the money leave.

Since when did you start living here?

He's helping me with bills.

Kind of hit a rough spot.

Look, my car is parked at the bar.

I'll just sleep it off on the couch

and first thing in the morning, I'll be gone.

Save your money.

Good night.

You piece of shit.

Lock your door.

Scream if you need me.

You're safe, you're safe.

I've got you.

I've got you.

How long?

Since he found out I was pregnant.

Why haven't you said anything?

I...

He doesn't even know it's happening.

Tonight it's the worst it's ever been.

I gave him something to help him sleep tonight.

He usually wakes up before it gets that bad.

Something...

Something is bottled up inside of him

and he hasn't figured it out yet.

I don't know what to do, but I don't wanna leave him.

I hate to think of what would've happened

if I hadn't been staying here tonight.

You have to tell him.

How?

He'll hate himself even worse than he already does.

Please don't tell him.

He can't fix what he doesn't know is happening.

Think about your baby.

What if I wasn't here?

You go on to bed, it's okay,

I'm fine, don't worry about me.

I'll figured it out.

If you don't tell him, I will.

Hey, hey.

Wakey, wakey, sis.

How'd you get into my room?

Please.

Why the hell would you go into a locked room?

Why the fuck would you wanna lock your door

from your own brother?

Is it because of Victor?

I just prefer enjoying my personal space.

That's all.

Okay, I can give you your personal space

but I just wanted to thank my baby sister

with breakfast in bed for letting me crash on the couch.

It's kinda hard to do that when you lock your door.

There's more where that came from.

Good morning!

You want some?

No, no, no, no I don't want.

You sure you don't want some, man?

Yeah, no, I'm good.

You know what?

I bet all your shit's out on the streets.

All of it.

Gone.

I bet all my money on it.

Dude, you're broke, man, what are you talking about?

Dude, you totally let Ellie have it last night.

What?

What did I say?

Let's see, only that you were drinking your problems away

and that she was still there.

You get it?

You called your lady a problem, dude.

Phew, your ass is totally in the shitter.

Fuck.

What are you still drunk?

No, I think I'm hung over.

Don't sweat it, man.

Come on, you don't need her.

Yeah, I know you like cherry pie

but what about cherry juice

'cause it's supposed to be real good to help you sleep.

All right.

I'll try.

Hungry?

Looks great.

Seriously, Chance, you should've

just taken a cab and got out.

Why?

You don't wanna hang with your big brother?

I barely see you anymore.

Not since Vic moved in.

I don't know, Chance, I just feel weird around you.

I really need you to leave.

I started getting these awful panic attacks

and I went to a therapist.

They think it has something to do with a childhood trauma.

I think it may have something to do with you.

What the fuck you talking about?

I'm saying, I think you raped me.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I never touched you.

This the first I'm hearing about anything about rape.

Look, I never touched you, okay.

You're my baby sister.

We're family.

That's disgusting.

Family?

The kind of family where you over drunk off your ass?

You broke into my room, Chance.

Who the fuck does that?

Are you fucking serious?

You're kidding me, right?

You're my baby sister.

I love you.

I wanna know who raped you.

'Cause I swear to God it wasn't me, sis.

And I'll fuck him up.

You should just leave, man.

What's your deal here, Victor?

Huh?

She said, she wants you to leave.

So get the fuck out, man.

Please, Chance, just go.

This isn't over, sis.

I'm gonna leave, but I swear to you,

I'm gonna find out who hurt you.

We're family.

I'm just so confused.

Faith?

Don't you fucking touch me.

Hey?

It's okay.

I got you.

No one else is gonna hurt you.

I think we need to get you a restraining order.

You gonna be okay?

Hey, Jules.

Can you come over?

- Hey, man, you good? - No, man.

I don't wanna deal with your bullshit right now, okay?

I gotta find a way to fix shit with my girl.

Yeah, that's not what you said last night.

I know, all right.

You keep reminding me.

Dude, she's my everything, man.

I'm lost without her.

It's no big deal, bro.

She's a fucking dick-blanket.

Don't ever say that, all right?

Goddammit.

How did you sleep?

Not too bad.

No nightmares?

What's it to you?

It's a nice scarf, Becca.

But isn't it a little fancy for breakfast?

Thank you.

I was just putting together a little something something.

I'm headed out soon.

Let me help you with that plate.

Don't you have something to tell Jimmy?

Tell me what?

Is there something going on with you too,

- I need to know about? - No.

It's not what you think.

I know you think you're getting better, man,

but you're not.

You had a nightmare last night.

I found you choking Rebekah.

Rebekah show him.

I did this?

Why would you hide this from me?

Baby, I'm sorry.

It was never this serious.

Sometimes it's just, it's just knee jerks

or wailing your arms.

Screaming.

It's never been this serious.

I need to get some fresh air.

Let me grab my things, I'll get out of your way.

Oh my god.

So as you can see, I managed our finances.

We wouldn't be where we are today if it weren't for me.

He had me on an allowance, like I was a teenager.

You spend money like a teenager.

I earned money, like an adult.

No, I earn money like an adult,

long before she earned anything.

Plus it didn't cost me money to make money.

What about you and your fancy art?

Did you ever earn any of your money back?

We were supposed to be a team

and you treated me like a child.

I had no privacy, nothing was mine.

You read my personal emails.

You went through my phone.

I had no respect.

It's my computer.

No, it's our computer, Zane.

You see, that's your problem.

Everything is mine, mine, mine.

It's supposed to be our computer,

our house, our car, our kids.

You have the stipulation on the things that you bought

but you don't seem to realize I helped buy those things too.

Okay, I'd like for us to focus on what we need to resolve

and if you're not able to do that

perhaps we should do a split mediation.

It's her.

She moves around from subject to subject.

How can I focus on answering a single question?

If it wasn't about whose things are who's, Carly,

why are we here?

I can't believe you're trying

to justify your behavior right now.

Well, there's a difference

between helping buy and helping spend.

Yeah.

And there's a difference

between being a man and being an ass.

So if we're not going to do a split mediation,

maybe it would be healthy for the conversation right now

to take a short break.

I can't keep up with you and these fucking tangents.

Let me just break it down for you.

You bought books, food, art supplies.

Did you get your hair done?

Did you get your nails done?

Okay, Zane.

You wanna break it down?

Let's break it down.

You wanna know what I was doing while you were out working?

I was raising the kids.

I was cleaning the house.

I was taking in the practices.

I was watching their games,

signing their permission slips.

Because by the time you got home,

they were already in bed.

Yeah, I was the one cooking for them and cooking for you

and you wanna call it your house?

The computer that we shared is yours?

I'm not entitled to anything?

You know what, Zane?

I'll drop all of this.

If you can give me the name of Raquel's favorite band.

Exactly.

Fuck you, Zane.

Yeah, you know what?

I've made a lot of mistakes and I can admit my wrong

but maybe you need some glasses

because you sure as shit can't see yours.

It sounds like you might need that split mediation.

And I'd like to recommend that you reconsider some

of the terms in the paperwork.

Or this might get a little messy.

He broke into my room.

Okay, we need to call the police.

No we don't.

Well, if we're not calling the police

you need to start explaining.

All right.

It's my brother.

Your brother?

Did something happened?

I think you need to start from the beginning.

It started happening a year ago.

Around the same time my Uncle Victor moved in.

These awful nightmares, panic attacks.

This pain in my chest, like I can't breathe.

My Uncle Victor found me a therapist.

Well, a hypnotherapist to help me.

Turns out I'm suppressing something major from my childhood.

We were able to recover some memories

that I've blocked up but the details

are still a little fuzzy.

What kind of memories are you blocking out?

I'm not sure.

I remember bits and pieces.

Like being really happy at a birthday,

but then the memory goes dark.

Or riding in the car and then feeling really uncomfortable.

I went to give my uncle a hug the other day

and even his deodorant made my stomach turn.

Where does your brother fit into all this?

According to my therapist, all

of these experiences point to my brother.

The deodorant, the car trips, the birthdays.

Does your brother wear the same deodorant as your uncle?

Maybe.

I don't know.

Still trying to figure it all out.

Hey, who's this?

I'm her Uncle Vic.

Oh.

Hey, Victor.

This is Julie.

Her an I met when I was out the other day.

That's nice.

What are you beautiful ladies talking about today?

Nothing.

Just personal stuff.

Well, can I get you anything to drink or eat?

- No. - We're fine here.

Thanks.

I was actually on my way out.

- So. - Okay.

Okay, Faith, I just sent you Dr. Cuffee's number,

she's an amazing therapist.

Super sweet and her first sessions are usually free.

So just give her a call.

See if she can fit you in.

I feel like I'm always getting numbers from you.

We always help each other.

Come on, let me in.

Dude, I think you should call her.

Rebekah?

No, the therapist.

You wanted to improve things with Rebekah

and you're not really mad at her,

you're mad at yourself.

Maybe this will push you in your sessions.

Raquel is so cute.

She has made me this list of like different outfits

she wants me to wear.

Depending on the guys she's like...

That's so like her.

I know, she's like, "Okay, mom,

"this is what you wear for this date."

I don't know where she gets it.

- Fashion and stuff. - I know.

I wonder where she gets it from?

What do you want?

No, that's not part of the agreement.

I already agreed to the mediation.

Zane, we're not doing this right now.

I can't do this.

Goodbye, Zane.

Goodbye.

Zane up to his normal dickhead ways?

Yeah.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah, I'll live.

Let's talk about you.

No.

Have you decided if you're gonna get treatment?

Okay, let's do this.

We are going to write a bucket list.

- A bucket list? - Uh-huh.

And Andrew is at the top.

Wait, what?

Lover or friend?

You're totally tapping that ass.

No, no I'm not.

- Tapping... - No.

- The ass. - Stop.

- I'm not. - Number one.

Hey, whoa, what the fuck are you doing?

Well?

I'm not dealing with this shit any longer.

Now it's your turn to make a decision.

You wanna leave me?

I should.

Especially after last night but I'm gonna let you decide.

I've already got your stuff packed.

Bags by the door, so, if you wanna drink your life away

like your dad, get your shit and get out.

Or?

Or keep pouring and you can unpack

and really get help this time.

It's your choice, but I'm not doing this anymore.

All of it?

Every last drop.

Well, what's it gonna be?

Glad you can make it in, Faith.

So tell me what's on your mind.

So you're back?

Ready to talk?

Nope, not right now, I'm tired.

Yeah, I know the feeling.

Another sleepless night?

Doesn't help I was sleeping on the couch.

Didn't have my meds, plus I sleep better when I'm with you.

You know that.

You miss me?

Of course.

I love you.

I love us.

We really need to talk.

I love you too, Avery, but not right now.

We both need to be in a better mood

for this conversation to work.

I'm headed to the spa with my girlfriends,

I'll feel more refreshed when I get home.

And then maybe I can make you your favorite dinner

and we can have a talk then, okay?

Yeah.

Go take your meds and try

to take a nap while I'm out.

- Baby. - Don't

baby me, I need to know what your decision is.

I've stuck by you through hell, Shawn

this shit doesn't get you through anything.

Is it gonna be me or the door?

You, babe.

I choose you.

What, so, I'm the boogie man now?

Yeah, you'd be the cutest one ever.

Plus you've fought so many battles for me.

But I can't keep fighting these battles all alone anymore.

I need you to help me.

Yeah.

If you're not capable of fighting I'm done.

I swear I'll walk out right now and never come back.

Okay.

Let's do it together, huh?

What do you think?

What do I think?

I think you need to figure out what you think.

You seem to be living in the shadow of doubt and fear.

And frankly, I don't believe you know what you believe.

He says he didn't do it.

We know what he thinks.

The better question is, why do you believe otherwise?

Now I don't doubt that something happened

to you when you were younger but why do you believe

that he's the root of it all?

I don't know.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

He's my older brother.

When I was younger, wherever I was, he was too.

I think you're trying to force this idea on yourself

so that things make sense.

Maybe we should dig a little deeper.

I don't think so.

Do you have any evidence that he's the one

that physically hurt you?

Do you have any recollection of him being anything

but kind to you?

Because you've told me several stories

of the two of you together with no blackouts.

And yet the only thing that's reoccurring

is that your blackouts occurred during a family function.

Think about that for a minute.

Do you think he was trying to protect me?

Okay, Faith, but protect you from whom?

I don't remember.

I need you to remember your past family events.

Let's go over who attended them

and your relationship with them now.

You're late.

That was rude.

Well, you're cutting into my conversation time.

Shall we?

What, Av?

You promised we would talk.

And I have a lot to say.

So what is it?

I just want you to understand where I'm coming from.

You know how I told you it was just me

and my mom when I was young?

It wasn't always that way.

My dad was a meth head.

And when I was about four,

he was in the basement with his friend,

he freaked out, beating on his friend and left.

I found the body.

I never heard from my dad again.

I didn't know.

I know you didn't.

I wasn't sure if I'd be able to share this with you.

I wanted you to know I'm excited for this baby.

To show my kid that I'll be the dad my father never was.

He was on drugs, he didn't know what he was doing.

He never came back.

I spent enough sleepless nights waiting up for him.

I should know.

So is he the cause for your insomnia?

Fine, Av, I'll think about it, okay?

I'm going to the doctor to go over everything

before I make my final decision.

Thanks.

Thank you for hearing me out.

Is it okay if I come with you?

Hey, Jimmy.

How's it going?

It's a little tough, but getting through it.

How you doing, Sophia?

I'm doing good.

You know, it's been tough here too.

Tony says hello, by the way.

He just got a new place.

You should really stop by.

I will.

Good.

Hey, what unit where you in again?

6th Marine Division, why?

That's what I thought.

We just got a new guy from that same one.

Robert McNeil.

Robert McNeil.

You know him?

Yeah, we served together.

I kind of lost touch after I left.

Do me a favor?

Wait for me there.

Yeah.

Forgive me, Rose,

but I haven't had sex in 15 years

and it's starting to get on my nerves.

I can't believe you watched this show.

- It's so stupid. - It's good.

No, it's not.

Hello?

Got a call from County Jail.

County Jail?

Yeah?

Shawn, my man, I need you.

Come down and bail me out.

Dude, what are you doing in jail?

There may have been,

leaving a bad clip to his car, but no one's hurt, I swear.

Promise you, man, I'll get dry.

All right.

I'll be there in about an hour.

If you can get here any faster,

I'll owe you, man.

Mother fucker, you already owe me.

All right, hang tight.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

It's just Neil's fucking drama.

I'm gonna get going.

I'll be back soon.

Don't let me know how it ends.

Okay, be careful.

I don't want no visitors.

Yeah, I said the same damn thing

when I first got here.

No way these civilians could relate to two fucks

of what I was going through.

You work here?

No, McDonald, if I worked here,

I'd wind up in the same chair as you.

McDonald?

Jim Beam, is that you?

Ooh-rah!

Surprised you didn't recognize me, my friend.

I do have some more hair these days.

I recognize your voice.

It's been a while since I heard it.

I can't see you, but I can tell your lying.

You're probably ugly as ever.

Yeah.

So how's life treating you?

It's been free pretty rough.

I'm expecting a baby.

A baby?

Well, that's good news, man.

Congratulations.

Hell, I'm surprised you actually found somebody

to have a baby with you.

Rebekah's pretty damn awesome.

Yeah?

Then life's not as bad as you think it is.

You've got your eyes.

Got a kid on the way.

So from where I'm sitting, that seems pretty damn good.

Seriously, MacDonald, how you doing?

Same old Jim Beam.

Straight to the point.

And I...

I've been having more bad days than good.

What happened to your eyes?

Some dumb fuck trying to be a hero,

set off a goddam IED.

Remember I was running radio with my squad.

All I had on me was my damn M-9.

Oo-rah, M-9.

You gotta have two hands for that shit.

We're lucky if the fucking thing don't jam.

You talking to anyone?

I'm always talking to people.

It seems in here, they don't trust me

to be alone with my own thoughts.

Yeah, I know it.

I remember my first couple of weeks were my roughest too.

You know, they're just looking out for you, right?

Yeah.

You listen to me.

Listen to me.

This shouldn't be the end of the road.

Despite the shit we got dealt.

You hear me?

Now we gonna fight this thing.

We're gonna fight this thing.

You hear me?

The two of us.

Ooh-rah!

Ooh-rah!

Dude, slow down.

Why are you so mad?

We should be celebrating.

Are you really that dense?

I just bailed you out of jail and now you're talking

about how you wanna celebrate?

I'm a free man.

I'm out of jail, I'm not going back.

No, no dude, you've gotta show up, okay?

I've got money behind you.

That's the behind mine and Ellies car.

What's the big deal?

You get another car, you get another girl.

Come on, man, I'll buy you a drink.

Hey, El.

Hey, babe, I just called to let you know

I put an apple pie in the oven.

God, that's my favorite.

I know.

I love you.

I love you too.

All right, I'll see you soon.

See the leash has got a little tighter.

Will you stop with that shit!

Come on, man.

You know what, I wasn't gonna bail you out this time.

I really wasn't.

Then why did you?

Because my girlfriend, you know the one

that you hate so much, she told me to use our car

as collateral to get you out.

She didn't want me to turn my back on my best friend.

You were gonna turn your back on me?

God, you're such an idiot, dude.

You clipped a car, man.

You sent someone to the hospital.

No one fucking got hurt, are you fucking serious?

Do you not feel anything?

I can't believe you were gonna leave me in jail.

I mean, I feel bad.

You know what?

I'll feel better after I have a whiskey.

Come on.

Call a cab.

I'm going home to my girl.

You gotta get your shit together, man.

- Shawn? - Nah.

Oh, thank you.

Waiting for someone?

Yeah, I'm waiting for a blind date.

A blind date?

Since when does a beautiful woman like you

need to go on blind dates?

You must have a lot of men begging at your feet.

I wish.

What century are you from?

The kind that brings a beautiful woman

a beautiful rose.

Pasqual.

I hope you are satisfied?

No, it's cute.

I'm still intrigued.

Intrigued.

I can work with that.

But let me tell you, you should be really mad

at Soraya, 'cause that picture she showed of you,

huh-uh, you look sexier in real life.

Thank you.

So why are you single and on a blind date?

Well, sadly not a lot of woman can keep up with my energy.

I'm a lot to handle but well worth it.

Ah, what do you mean by a lot to handle?

Hold that, please.

Don't worry.

In due time, my love.

I have a feeling we'll get to know a lot more of each other.

Please.

You smell really good.

Excuse me.

Don't worry, it's a compliment.

Didn't mean to offend you,

this just look good enough to eat.

Delicious.

You compliment every woman you meet that way?

Only the ones that deserve it.

You seem a little nervous, baby.

Are you ready for your next drink?

Ur, no, this one's fine, thank you.

Look, I think we got off the wrong foot.

How about I take you to my place

with dance salsa all night long,

I'll make you breakfast.

How does that sound?

That'll be a no.

Considering I just met you,

I don't feel comfortable going home with you tonight.

- So. - Oh, baby.

You wouldn't be the first girl I take home at night

and you most certainly won't be the last one.

It's your loss.

No, it's your loss.

So, cool off.

Cool off.

Don't worry, she got nervous, baby.

I need your help.

I need to get better.

You are getting there.

It just takes time.

No, no, no, it's not enough.

I need to get better faster.

What's the cause of this new urgency?

Rebekah.

Apparently I had a nightmare and I choked her in my sleep.

I can't do that shit anymore.

I can't do that with the baby.

I need you to put me under right now.

Now!

Okay, I'll do it.

But there's no quick fix for any of this.

Fox Three, you're too far from our location.

Alpha One, could you please,

could you please eyes on Foxtrot?

Fox Three, come in.

Come in, Fox Three!

I tried to get backup.

But, until we get eyes, nothing's moving.

My best friend was Fox Three.

We were both radio ops for our fire team.

I was working with the command.

We had one mission that day.

Hide and seek.

We lost Foxtrot.

Everyone.

I tried to help my buddy

but no one was, no one was doing anything.

No one was reacting.

I knew that it wasn't safe, but fuck that shit.

We made a promise.

We made a promise.

Everyone in, everyone out.

Why do you think you keep reliving that night, Jimmy?

I pay you to tell me.

In your dream, why were you so frightened?

Could it be the baby?

No, no, no, no, no, it's not baby.

I'm not afraid of the baby.

Rebekah says I'm gonna be a great dad.

It's just a lot to process.

I believe you're gonna be a great dad too

but deep down inside, I think you don't.

Here's what I'm interpreting.

You start off in a child's room,

presumably your daughter.

Invisible bullets rain down and you feel bombarded.

Then, so out of place, you're lost in the middle of nowhere.

You lose yourself.

You don't know where your head's at.

And your biggest fear is that you won't be able

to react the way you need to.

The way you want to in an emergency.

What are your thoughts on that?

I tried to help somebody

and I killed them.

This is a baby.

Right?

It's totally dependent on me.

Just defenseless.

Unprotected.

Just me.

What about Rebekah?

No, no, Rebekah's not trained for that shit!

I was and I still failed them.

When you went to war Jimmy,

you had to prepare yourself.

Try to think of this as a different war

with different tools.

You were trained to be a good soldier.

You are a good protector.

No one's perfect.

Okay, fine, then to tell the goddam fucking ghosts

to get out of my head and shut the fuck up.

The war never ends.

My war will never be over.

Life is full of big decisions.

But you put yourself in extraordinary circumstances

and got hurt.

You'll always have the bullets in war.

I can't take that away from you.

But I wanna help you find the love, pain, failure

and learn how to get back up.

It's Rebekah.

You seem calmer now.

How are you feeling about Rebekah?

I still feel like throwing up.

You're still afraid

because you believe you failed your friend.

Yeah, so?

You operate as a team.

You work as a team.

I wasn't there.

I didn't feel what you felt but I sure as hell know,

you were obeying your Commander.

Those simple orders he gave you took away the pressure

but not the responsibility.

No matter how you look at what happened that day,

you never had control.

If you would've disobeyed your Commander

you would've risked your own life.

Leaving your unit in the dark.

You'll have to realize that some things

will always be out of your control.

- And if I can't? - You can.

Because whenever you feel like you can't,

you're gonna take Rebekah up dancing.

What's with the dancing?

When I was younger, I broke both of my legs

and not being able to use them for so long,

I was afraid to try to walk again.

I was afraid I wouldn't remember how.

My dad, he knew how much I like to dance

so he picked me up and put me on his feet.

And then he'd moved me in a circle.

It was like I was flying.

I began to dance with him on my own

and I forgot I was even walking.

Lost in the moment.

All my fears were gone.

I took control back.

And I want you to forget what's in your head

as best you can.

I want you to find the strength

to lead Rebekah on that dance floor

and take control back.

I believe everything will fall into place.

Come on.

Come on.

Feel the beat.

Move to the rhythm.

Loose yourself to the music.

See, it's a great form of meditation.

That's it.

Dip me, Jimmy.

Dip me.

I trust you.

See.

You got this.

I was safe in your arms and so will Rebekah and your baby.

All right.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

He said that I smelled delicious.

He really said that?

- He really said that? - Yes.

Wow.

What a misogynistic cock-sucker.

Jule!

I'm just saying.

I know, he totally was.

I didn't think being back in the market

would be this difficult.

Hmm, completely.

But luckily I don't deal with dip-shits like that, so.

Is everything okay?

You know, I've been thinking it over

and I think I'm gonna give myself another week to decide.

Who's holding you back.

It's Andrew.

- No. - Oh, yes.

Okay, so I'm gonna go.

Let me have this.

You let me know if you need anything.

Now get laid.

Oh, god.

Bye.

So I was thinking of calling, Chance.

I went to a different therapist and they said

that maybe my dreams were interpreted wrong.

Really?

I mean, why would you do that?

Don't you remember him hurting you?

Isn't that what the other therapist said.

I don't remember anything.

All I know is that in spaces of darkness,

he's there before and after but I also have plenty

of memories with just the two of us.

Why would he not try to hurt me when we're alone?

It doesn't make sense.

It makes sense to me.

He fucked with your brain.

I don't know, Faith.

I don't like him around you.

He doesn't like you either.

He didn't even have a chance to defend himself this morning.

You kicked him out as soon as I asked.

Because I'm your protector now.

I'm protecting you.

What do you have against Chance?

Because he hurt you.

But you didn't liked him before.

You and Chance never got along.

Uncle Vic, were you ever at any of our family gatherings?

Of course, I was at all of them.

I never seem to remember you

at any of our family gatherings.

And that therapist, the one I saw,

is she your friend?

And my panic attacks, got even worse after you moved in.

Faith.

My sweet little Faith.

There was always this innocence about you.

Every time I came over, you were so happy to see me.

You loved me.

You were always so happy to see your Uncle Vic.

You loved Uncle Vic.

Yeah, I mean, it's mostly just a like...

Are you gonna get that?

Ur, nah, that's not important.

Hey, what's up.

It's Chance.

Leave a message.

Hey, Chance.

I'm so sorry, I was wrong.

It was Victor.

I don't remember but he knows I know

and now he's at the door.

Please help me.

Faith, come on.

You want this.

You lie!

We need to talk.

Okay.

Why you being ignoring all of my phone calls?

You need to get that?

Um, I can call her back later.

Let's talk.

Julie.

I killed him.

I don't know what to do.

I'm glad you haven't given up yet.

Well, I don't wanna roll over and die

when I have a lot to live for.

I agree.

You do have a lot to live for.

Wait.

No, don't, don't think.

I need you, Jules.

I'm sorry, I should've said something.

I want you to get better.

I do, I'm so sorry.

You do not have to apologize.

You love me.

Despite my baggage.

I wanna take you out.

Dancing.

Can I do that?

Yeah.

I'm wanna try something.

I think you'd like it.

Now let's get you off to bed.

Huh-uh.

Hey, where are you going?

Well, there's a couch in the living room

with my name on it.

Don't worry, it's just temporary.

Until I can trust myself to sleep with you.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

911, what's the location of your emergency?

Hey.

How'd it go?

Is everything all right?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Yeah.

Look.

I see.

You made some pie?

- It's your favorite. - It is my favorite.

I see you've got some here.

- I do? - Yeah.

- And here, and here, and here. - I didn't know that.

What was that for?

I...

I...

I came to a decision today.

Okay.

I don't have a ring.

But I'm gonna get you one.

You deserve the biggest and brightest one out there.

You've been here with me through thick and thin

and I don't think you understand how much I appreciate you.

Ellie, I love you so much.

Would you make me the happiest man on earth

and spend the rest of your life with me?

Would you marry me?

- Yes. - Yeah?

I'm sorry.

Hello?

Chance.

How did you get my number?

She's dead?

What happened?

Okay, let me call Carly.

I'll call you back soon.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

I didn't answer.

I didn't know it was so important.

No, no, no, it's okay.

You didn't know, you didn't know.

I didn't answer.

Let's get dressed and see what we need to do.

Do you need to call your friend who was here last night?

Yes.

Oh, she's gonna be devastated.

Where do you need me?

I'm still dying, Andy.

I know.

But when I think about my white picket fence days

and how afraid I am losing you,

I'm losing you anyway.

Neither of us can control why.

I want to spend the time that I have lived with you.

Thank you for keeping an open mind.

Harper.

Really?

You aren't joking, one of the mates.

This is my big break.

Was that Stacy?

She called to say I got the part.

I got the part!

I got the part.

I get it.

You can't keep the part with the baby.

Harp, I don't know if I can do this.

I know.

We want different things.

And I don't wanna resent you.

- But if I stay... - I know.

I love you.

Goodbye, Harper.

It's been a rough week for some of us.

We've been fighting what life has dealt us

and it hasn't been particularly kind.

We're having a small gathering back here tomorrow night

to celebrate the life of Faith.

I think it's a good idea for us to celebrate

and to stay strong.

Everyone is welcome to come.

You all have been the greatest family I've ever had.

I really hope you can make it.

I didn't really know Faith.

I mean, she's pretty new here.

But you guys helped me with so many things,

you'd help me to...

To see the person I could be.

I really love you guys.

See you guys tomorrow.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

What's wrong with accepting a little bit of help?

Just stop it.

Stop what?

I can feel you staring at me.

I'm just waiting for you to allow me to help you.

I'll leave you alone.

Just remember we're family.

Expecting to see you back here again.

I'll think about it.

Straight ahead.

Julie, can you please tell Jimmy he can go back

to sleeping with his girlfriend.

You're just saying that 'cause you want the couch.

I mean, I can't lie, the floor sucks.

But seriously, dude, you haven't made a peep all week.

Really, Avery, no nightmares?

Not a single one.

And I will meet you at the car.

All right.

You don't know what would've happened

if you picked up that phone.

Things might not have been any different.

Hey.

The girl was betrayed and damage.

You can't put that kind of weight on your shoulders.

I'm glad you chose life.

Me too.

You look so well today.

I feel like it.

Today's one of my good days.

I'd like you to think I had something to do with this.

I like to think that too.

So you know Avery, he's been sleeping

on Jimmy's couch for a few days

till he finds his own place.

Can you do anything for him?

Yeah, I think I have room for him in the spare.

Thank you.

So, you wanna dance?

I thought you'd never ask.

It's been a good day.

Not a great day.

I want enjoy the song.

- May I cut in? - Yeah.

How did you know I was here?

I can tell when a beautiful woman's in the room.

I don't need to see to know that.

May I call you?

- Um. - Nevermind.

Why would you wanna date a blind guy anyway?

- You can have anyone... - No, no.

No, no, no, no, no, I didn't,

I didn't hesitate because of you.

I just, I'm newly divorced and it wasn't a good split.

Let's just enjoy this dance and see how it goes, okay?

Men in general kind of make me nervous.

Did he hurt you?

Not physically, no.

Did he make you feel special?

Like you're the queen of England?

I hope I never meet this guy.

There's no man that should make a woman feel like shit.

You can call me.

Hey.

- Hey, how you doing? - Good, how you doing?

- Hey. - Hey, Rebekah.

Jimmy, this whole dance was your idea.

Get out there with your woman or I'll take her.

All right.

There you go.

Okay, here we go.

What's up, Avery?

What's up, Andy?

A little birdie told me you've been sleeping on the couch

when I have a perfectly good spare in my apartment.

Spare couch?

No, spare bedroom.

My last roommate left it with almost everything.

What are you saying?

No words, man.

I have no words.

All right.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You can stop worrying about me.

Nah, I'm always gonna worry about you.

Both of you.

Well, speaking of.

I saw the doctor today.

Everything okay?

Everything's fine.

Um...

They're both doing fine and growing according to schedule.

Both?

Twins!

Oh, two of them.

Are you okay?

Can you handle this?

Two of them.

Yeah, I'm gonna work through this.

You trust me.

Yeah.

Do you trust you?

I think I'm getting there.

Good.

And I think this is helping.

Thank you for coming.

This looks fantastic.

It's a great celebration of her, she'd have loved it.

I'm glad.

I was just about to go on stage to say a few words.

Why don't you come with.

Oh, I...

Come on.

Attention, everyone.

We are here to celebrate the life of Faith Angela Ninn.

Her initial spell out fan.

She was a favorite.

She was young and I took to her right away.

I feel in some ways she'd still be alive

if we had have helped her.

She was a bright light.

A force to be reckoned with.

She was a lost soul.

And I wish I could've been there to help her.

She taught me about life.

I felt like I had nothing.

She made me feel useful in my uselessness.

We've all grown a little since we met her.

I'm gonna pass the mic to her brother now.

Hey, I just want you to know

that you're now our family.

Okay?

- Yeah. - Yeah, good, all right.

I'm gonna be over here.

Okay.

You are all her family when I couldn't be.

And I will forever be thankful for that.

You brought us together

and I didn't even know we were apart.

You gave her the strength or the courage.

The courage to stand up to her fears.

To be strong.

My last words to her were, we're family.

And I...

I ignored her when she called me

'cause I wasn't the one important.

I feel like I'm being punished for even thinking that.

I need to know that she knows she was important.

You all recognized she was important.

Faith, you are an angel.

You're protecting us right now.

On you on, Faith.

On you on.

When did you get to be so great at this?

Since I had a strong woman.

Who would marry me.

Who's got my back.