All language subtitles for Alone.S09E04.The.Beaver.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SMURF-NHI

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Original subtitles

♪ ♪

- We're gonna try to make a streamer using green hair.

Eh.

- The last shelter task is to dig the fire pit.

♪ ♪

This is officially home.

- I'm doing the log cabin because it's sturdy.

I'm just expecting that

everything is gonna take ten times longer.

- Hoping I can dry it out just enough.

Well, it's getting to the point

where it's almost not bright out anymore.

- These beavers are super active.

It's just a matter of time before we cross paths.

I think I see one.

Oh, and hit it.

♪ ♪

Where would it go?

That's freakin' nuts.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have this place try and break me.

For the first time on "Alone,"

ten participants fight to survive

in the hunting ground of the world's largest land predator.

- Oh, my God, where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear. - Oh, no *bleep*.

- Sometimes you eat the bear...

sometimes the bear eats you.

Battling merciless conditions...

- This is some hardcore bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be such a struggle every night?

- I hit it, I hit it, I hit it.

- I feel more alive every day I'm out here.

- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna make it

easy for us, are you?

In complete isolation.

- The most dangerous thing out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?

- Very, very hungry.

- I feel like I'm hitting a wall.

Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- We're up at blue light.

I shot that Beaver yesterday.

We gotta go recover it.

This could be a big boost in my long-term stay here.

If he was hit hard like I thought he was,

he should be expired now.

The only problem is if he made it out of there to his den,

then we're gonna have a hard time.

♪ ♪

All right, let's go get that beaver.

♪ ♪

I shot him just over this patch of Alder.

Last I saw him go into on the other side was...

somewhere just off of this pine tree.

Hopefully, he just was trying to get to cover

before he passed away.

♪ ♪

That beaver should be dead, but still gotta be aware.

I gotta be ready for another shot.

♪ ♪

So somebody was working along this edge.

♪ ♪

Oh, *bleep*.

♪ ♪

Holy crap, there he is.

Nice!

Look at that!

Oh yeah, total redemption

for some kinda screwy shooting yesterday.

Let's get him out of there.

Dude, he's huge.

Oh, my gosh, look at that.

Huh?

Ohh.

First beaver with the bow in Labrador,

and I'm not gonna need another one for a little while.

♪ ♪

Sweet.

Let's skin him out.

Man, he had me worried.

Oh, the land has been very good to me.

Yoo!

♪ ♪

Beaver is one of the greatest survival foods you can get

in this woods, and I'm so grateful

that they're in my area.

It's going into winter, and this thing's got loads

of delicious fatty meat.

Huge tail.

It's a monster.

♪ ♪

Wow, that thing is heavy.

We're gonna gut the beaver here,

'cause I don't want that scent down by my camp.

♪ ♪

There's definitely a bear living around my site

because I'm seeing the grass matted down

in specific directions,

so it can be a real problem if you're not careful.

So, gland, sex organs out.

Could be some stinky meat if you get that on anything.

Ooh.

♪ ♪

This is massive for our long-term stay here.

But if it doesn't get colder, this meat will start to rot

and make you sick, and the fat will go bad, as well.

Get the rest of this out of there.

I really only have a few days to break this animal down

and start processing and drying it.

Kidneys.

♪ ♪

Liver.

♪ ♪

And the rest of the guts.

♪ ♪

Okay, all cleaned up.

I gotta build a smoker now.

There's no way I'm using all this meat.

I wanna ration this out for a rainy day.

In fact, I might, until I get the smoker,

since it's all cooled out, I'm gonna leave the skin on

just to actually protect that meat a little bit better.

That'll be some good survival fat right there.

Man, that meat is outstanding.

Yoo!

♪ ♪

Ohh.

I can tummy sleep on this...

have my hands dangle down.

I notice I am getting thinner.

I'm not eating nearly as much as I need to

to maintain my energy levels,

so snaring and foraging are gonna be higher

on the priority list now.

I can feel my ribs again.

♪ ♪

All around, like, every 5 feet or less,

there's a different hole.

Labrador is basically a squirrel palace.

We're hunting small game today.

♪ ♪

When I packed my bags for the show,

I knew that it was an opportunity

to display all the things that I've learned

in these 31 years of living.

Do I have a plan? Nope.

But am I gonna improvise and adapt every moment

I notice some opportunity to make it better?

Yeah, hell yeah, I'm gonna do that.

I was walking about, and I saw a lot of these,

and it looks like they were chewed over here from

high up on a tree and were fallen down on the ground.

And when I was looking at all of these on the ground,

some of their--some of these were pulled into a hole.

So that tells me that these might be something

that the squirrels might be eating,

and I'll make these into spring pole snares.

The squirrel will try to grab it,

and then the spring pole will snatch 'em up.

So that's pretty cool.

♪ ♪

Just a little notch over here.

The trigger stick's gonna be like an inverse...seven.

And then the stake's gonna

be into the ground all the way up to here.

So once they take the bait,

the whole thing should launch upwards.

That's the theory.

♪ ♪

Gotta be gentle with this one.

Man, I'm not sure if I have enough hands for all this.

Cravings are pretty harsh right now.

Lock up nicely.

Learning how to live with the cravings--

it's gonna be my big challenge.

♪ ♪

Place the snare.

Kind of like playing that game of Operation.

I don't know how long

I'm gonna be without food out here.

You'll be able to push

until, structurally, you cannot.

Once I get meat, that will provide just belief

that things will turn out okay.

One down.

For the love of all things holy,

please work.

♪ ♪

- Shoot, that looks like a smoker.

Okay, let's get him hung up.

Pull that hide off, break him down,

and start getting some meat on the smoke rack.

He's gotta be 50 pounds.

It's a good-sized beaver.

♪ ♪

I'm really glad this paid off.

Really beautiful pelt.

Meat actually smells really good.

That is amazing. Look at this fat.

Gonna get that all boiled down,

get some crispies out of that, some beaver cracklins.

Try and keep as much fat on this carcass as we can,

and as little on the hide.

The fat feels really good on my hands too,

which were super dried out.

So we'll just get that all rubbed in,

a little beaver lotion.

Okay, the key is just to go slow.

I just don't wanna get any hair on this meat.

It just adds some rank flavor.

At home, I live a nomadic lifestyle.

I don't do as well with a 9-to-5 job,

and that really helps me with this challenge.

One tasty beaver tail.

Look at all that fat in there.

The ability for me to be fine with anything

is so important and imperative to survival out here.

Got some good looking ribs, amazing looking flank meat.

I'm gonna be able to strip here nice and thin.

That looks amazing.

Never took the ribs off a beaver before,

so this is a first.

♪ ♪

Awesome.

Ta-da.

How's that rack of ribs look?

I'm really hoping the meat's

gonna come out as good as it looks right now.

♪ ♪

Meat looks really good.

This will really boost my health

and help me sustain even up to a month

if I ration this beaver out correctly.

There's the first bits of smoke.

Taking an animal as big as a bear on your own,

and being able to handle all the meat,

is a big project out here,

so I'm really glad I got the beaver to kind of warm up on.

And don't think for a second

I'm not here to break the record.

I don't wanna hear about Roland stuff anymore.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna make it,

but I believe deep down,

if things keep rolling my way,

I'm going over 100 days.

♪ ♪

Oh, man, that smells so freaking good.

This is like scrap meat, you know,

just fat and gristle that you take off the stomach.

Gonna get it crispified.

The best thing is, look at all that fat!

Holy cow!

Jackpot.

Tastes like roast beef.

No joke.

Hands down, no gaminess, awesome flavor.

It's like eating that juicy fat off a ribeye

that's like crispy, fatty beef.

Awesome!

Super stoked, super grateful.

Thank you, land!

♪ ♪

- I'm sorry to talk about this,

but I just want to be honest with this experience,

and I wanna convey everything that we experience out here

and the realities and the struggles,

and please excuse my being vulgar,

not something I talk about often, but...

my body was telling me things

I've never heard it say before.

And it's been about 12 days without a movement.

So if the calories and the fat aren't just off the scale,

my body seems to just absorb a lot.

It just burns it up, just incinerates it,

and not a whole lot, you know,

not a whole lot of leftover waste, it seems.

And honestly,

I'm just concerned that that may possibly take me out.

And it wouldn't be by my choice,

but I'm gonna try to push my limits out here.

I'm gonna try to red line,

I'm gonna try to get right there.

So...that's our thoughts for now.

♪ ♪

I am very, very nervous.

I know my body, I know my caloric intake,

I have got to find big game.

Sure seems like a hunting morning.

I have seen sign of beaver.

There's beaver chew sticks,

you can see their tracks in the mud,

they create slides where it's easier for them to walk,

but they're very nocturnal.

There it is.

Let's sneak on down a little bit.

♪ ♪

I am going to attempt to get a shot opportunity.

♪ ♪

It's just gonna be so hard to retrieve

in the water like that.

I've got to be certain it's an instantly lethal shot.

♪ ♪

I know I can put a shot in it that would kill it.

I just need to keep perspective.

I owe it to that animal to be able to retrieve it

and to use it to the fullest.

♪ ♪

I think an earmark of a true hunter...

is restraint.

♪ ♪

If I lose perspective of that

and rush a shot or take a bad shot angle

and I can't recover it,

it'll haunt me the rest of my life.

♪ ♪

I don't know if it's coming back.

Dang it.

I'm starving, but you just got to do things in the right way.

If it doesn't feel right,

it's not.

Well, have to get up to our shelter,

try again in the morning.

♪ ♪

- Lots of slurping. Sorry.

You should actually not slurp,

just because that's a bunch of air bubbles

that gets through your gut tract.

Means that you can feel bloated or gassy,

so not the best, but...

I'll try to stop,

but I'm trying to suck the surface bunchberries.

Best part of my day.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

♪ ♪

Squirrels are getting a little more active now.

♪ ♪

So I'm gonna stay around here.

I'll work on getting firewood

and wait for the squirrels to come home.

Got high hopes for these snares.

Just gonna go uphill a little bit.

I feel like I'm hitting a wall right now.

With not eating a whole lot,

electrolytes are not in an ideal place,

so everything gets a little more tricky.

I would hate to be pulled for a medical issue.

If I'm gonna stay here long,

I'm gonna have to find more food.

♪ ♪

Should be enough firewood for tonight.

I thought I heard something new.

Oh, *bleep*!

♪ ♪

I need this.

♪ ♪

Couldn't have gone too far.

All right, bird, please, I need you.

♪ ♪

Where is it?

Heard the grouse behind me.

♪ ♪

Oh, there it is.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[bow snaps

There you go.

Hey pretty bird.

Grab something to bring it down.

♪ ♪

Phew, first kill.

Eating grouse tonight. Look at that.

It's a hefty size.

So let's go by down the river, process it out.

Whoo.

It's exciting.

All right.

♪ ♪

Gonna take the skin off.

You kind of boil that down.

Make sure I get all the fat from that.

These guys, I'm gonna splurge a little bit.

Have one whole breast.

♪ ♪

This is very reminiscent of

the time I spent with the Maasai.

Sitting by the fire after a kill.

♪ ♪

Enjoying the flame and the roasting meat.

♪ ♪

I was in East Africa for about six months

to spend time with different Indigenous communities.

The most impressive things

about a lot of Indigenous people

is they live in such rough climates

and they're incredibly happy and resilient.

Taste test.

Mmm, look at that.

Kinda like barbecue chicken.

♪ ♪

Everything is just a test,

and they're so confident in the universe,

that their bodies, their souls,

their minds can tolerate anything.

Things can happen, but they're still grateful

on a day-to-day basis.

To experience that, it just changes you.

I understand that it's okay to suffer a little bit.

Things will turn out okay.

This makes me feel like I can be out here for a long time,

knowing that there's another one up there

and that the sounds that they make I now recognize

gives new hope.

♪ ♪

Just a little...jog in place.

Get the body moving.

Oh, that's intense.

Oh, man.

Trying to build the shelter

is consuming almost all of my time out here.

♪ ♪

I've never built anything like this before,

and I've chosen to use some pretty big logs to build,

and I've underestimated their weight.

It's taking a toll on my body,

and I'm not taking in

the calories I need to recuperate.

So it's causing serious pain in my back.

It's harder than it looks on TV, folks.

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

All right, I haven't worked on the fishing rod much,

so it's not great,

but great if I could catch a fish.

♪ ♪

Fly fishing has never been something

that I've spent time doing.

So I think in a place where fly fishing is going to be

such a large part of what you're doing,

it's definitely a deficit in my skill set.

*bleep*.

Hey!

Damn it.

Good news is that there's definitely fish in the river

'cause there's a seal in there.

The bad news is there's a seal in the river.

I'm guessing he's already scooped up

what there is to scoop up and scared away

what was still here, so move on.

♪ ♪

I'm turning 40, and this is an opportunity for me

to have a rite of passage into this next period of my life.

You know, this is the start of my path into being an elder.

♪ ♪

Jeez.

And I feel like in modern society,

we run away from those titles that make us seem old.

*bleep*.

And for me, having an opportunity to be on the show

felt like a way to really embrace that.

♪ ♪

That wasn't a huge success.

♪ ♪

Definitely need to work on my setup.

Food is pretty precious right now.

Back to camp.

♪ ♪

- Feels good to have some semblance of a structure up,

even if it is just a little ol' wall.

I think, with that,

we might go fishing, because we need some grub.

♪ ♪

Yes, sir.

I've never eaten whiskey jack before,

but they're on the menu.

So there you go.

First whiskey jack since I've been here,

I really didn't want to shoot him.

They're beautiful birds,

but I need food.

Now, out to the fishing spot.

♪ ♪

Kind of a gray day.

Here's my whiskey jack,

and hopefully I can make some flies from his feathers

and get the best use of 'em as we can

to sort of honor his sacrifice.

We're gonna set you guys up

and see if we can't catch a trout.

♪ ♪

Where are they gonna be today?

The whiskey jack, they're in the corvid family,

which means crows.

Probably that means

that they don't taste too good.

You ever heard the expression "eating crow"--

is not a good thing.

I figure he'll go in my stew

with my trout head when I get my trout.

Right in there is where they like to be.

♪ ♪

My family left South Africa when I was two.

After my parents got divorced,

and my father went back to South Africa

and I would spend my school years in the States

and then my summers in Africa with my dad.

Taking the things that I learned in Africa

and adapting them to the Virginia hardwoods,

or coming up here to Labrador,

is really fascinating to me.

None of us would be here without these skills,

so still using them the same way

as my ancestors so long ago

is a really good foundation for an education in bushcraft.

Come on, baby.

♪ ♪

There you go!

Holy *bleep*.

♪ ♪

The honey hole pays off again.

Trout.

Oh, yeah.

What a relief.

Look at that.

That is a beauty!

Just a beauty.

Thrilled to have it.

Can't wait to eat it.

Beautiful, beautiful fish.

Look at that.

Thank you, buddy.

Thank you, thank you.

Whoo!

♪ ♪

I had no food yesterday, except for a couple of handfuls

of bunchberries, 'cause I was working on the shelter all day.

So I'm really looking forward to this trout

and then afterwards, my whiskey jack-trout head soup.

♪ ♪

We gotta eat on something.

I'm swinging for the fences.

That's what I said I was gonna do.

I'm not gonna sit in a cave and starve it out.

I came here to do a job.

Take my little snacks.

I came here to figure out what I have,

what kind of mettle I've got in me.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna stick it out as long as I'm getting food,

and when I stop getting the food,

I'm gonna stick it out as long as they'll let me.

Some high-dollar restaurant in New York,

you'd pay all kinds of crazy money

for that trout like that.

Wood grilled, plated on

a bed of fir branches over sand.

And then a waiter comes by and rains on your table,

just sprinkles water on you while you're eating,

and you can have the full Labrador experience.

When you're hungry...

like haven't eaten in a day hungry...

it's the best thing you've ever had in your life.

♪ ♪

- Found a mussel.

I'm gonna cook this up right now.

I'm super excited.

I like it, I like it.

♪ ♪

Okay, folks, I'm going to boil this guy out with some seaweed.

I feel like the survival community

is not a very diverse place,

and I think that diversity and representation is important.

I remember I was 10 or 12 years old

when I first saw someone on TV who looked like me

and it was a positive portrayal.

It was actually Omar Sharif in "Lawrence of Arabia."

It is a small, little guy.

I remember looking at the screen and thinking,

oh, my gosh, I could be a hero in a movie,

I could be a hero in my own story.

One of the reasons I have this moustache

is an homage to Omar Sharif.

And so this show will hopefully let people know

that there are people in the outdoors like them.

♪ ♪

Wow.

That was amazing.

♪ ♪

- Okay, we got, uh... the beaver gut pile.

I've got all my fish guts in here,

and I set the game camera.

We're trying to create a little predator station here,

just to observe what's going on and see if we can't get

some action on the camera and see what's around.

♪ ♪

I really feel like a bear is gonna be

a necessity for me to make this long haul.

♪ ♪

The birds seemed to know about it.

I heard the crows a lot this morning.

When the crows get going, the other predators

know that there's something going on.

I think the biggest part of a bear hunt

is getting a visual on him.

I realize with all that scent from the smoking,

there's always the risk

that the bear will challenge you for your meat,

and it has to take you out to take your food.

But I'm on one of the greatest

successful adventures of my hunting career.

Everything I do is, like, turning to gold.

I am in complete flow state.

I feel like I belong here.

♪ ♪

Okay, got the game camera up, the stink bag on the staff,

and we'll see who comes looking.

Bears really have a good sense of nose, as do most of

these predators, so they should get wind of this, I'd reckon.

Be kind of fun to see who's around

and get some pictures of 'em.

♪ ♪

Gotta build a better seat for hanging out.

All right.

We're gonna put down eight to ten hours of the good stuff.

And no, that isn't alcohol.

It's called sleep.

Way better.

♪ ♪

I think the only thing that would be better

than the beaver out here would be bear.

That would be a grand slam home run.

I'm a bear hunter, I love hunting bears,

I love eating bear.

Hoping we can get it done.

♪ ♪

Where are you, bear?

You know where I am.

Brother bear, we will meet soon, my friend.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- So I'm just making some toothpaste.

Just took some charcoal out of my fire.

Just, uh, wanting to give my teeth a little bit of love.

It really does something to you to be this close

to the simple, most basic aspects of life.

I feel like brushing with the bristles

makes it a little too abrasive on the teeth.

So I like the finger.

All clean.

Charcoal is also good for your stomach.

That's pretty good.

Mouth certainly feels better.

♪ ♪

It's probably gotta be a little taller than that.

Figure it's gonna be 7 or 8 here,

6 or 7 there.

And then the fireplace and the wall and the roof.

Well...

That's a lot of trees, folks.

I've gotta move faster than this.

♪ ♪

I feel like it's kind of a vicious cycle,

where I use big logs.

Means there's a lot of space, which means I have to cut down

a really big, heavy log and move it to fill that space.

If I could restart my shelter, I would do

a simple double A-frame.

Oh, man.

But at this point, it's like I don't know

how to pivot to building something else.

Wish they'd give you...

like phone-a-friend options.

Sure a lot of folks'd be able to...

give me some advice on that.

♪ ♪

Okay, let's just get it done.

♪ ♪

I don't really think of myself as being

in competition with nine people.

First and foremost, I'm in competition with myself.

How quickly do I want to go back to being comfortable?

How quickly do I wanna go back to not being

challenged or tested?

I can just go home and hang out with my wife.

That sounds pretty good right now.

So I think the more you think about it,

the more that'll just play havoc with your morale.

And so I'm trying to just look at building

a permanent shelter as a temporary problem,

and I need to fix it.

Oh, man.

Definitely having issues with my back today.

My back is getting worse every day.

I am struggling to be able to let my body

catch up and rest.

It's s *bleep* heavy.

It's taking me a lot of time in between

each pole to be able to go get the next one.

And now my heart beat's pretty irregular.

I can just feel it in my chest, it's like a ba-boom, ba-boom.

But I don't think there's anything serious going on.

I think it's just my heart struggling to do

this type of work without any nutrition.

♪ ♪

Great if I could catch a fish,

great if I could snare a squirrel or hare.

♪ ♪

I'm just moving so slow.

And I can't really move much faster.

Not with...

Just a seaweed diet.

♪ ♪

Still haven't had a movement.

♪ ♪

So I think the best thing we can do now

is just harvest some sap, put it on the tinder,

try to get a fire going, grab a pot of water.

Sure do like the sound of that river.

Sure like knowing that it's close.

Beautiful place, beautiful animals.

To harvest the beaver would be

just the most exhilarating scenario I can see.

I may be able to be here for the long haul,

but it has to be the perfect shot.

And I put a lot of pressure on myself with that,

but it's very important to me.

I--I just don't feel well.

Whoa, dizzy, really lightheaded.

I gotta go-- I gotta go lay down.

♪ ♪

Rest isn't going too well. I got some...

muscle spasms and leg cramps,

the kind that curl your feet up.

♪ ♪

Ohh...ohh...ohh...

My stomach's in knots.

♪ ♪

Ohh...

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

♪ ♪

All right.

Fantastic news.

Nature called.

And to be honest, I'm sitting here a renewed person.

I feel lighter, I feel like the stomach upset's gone,

the queasiness is gone-- all those symptoms.

Now it's just elation and all back to smiles per gallon.

Super, super thankful, and just looking to take

the next step today, and let's get going.

♪ ♪

- Good morning, y'all.

Kind of a rough night. Did not sleep very well.

I just think my body needs food.

We're coming up on three weeks now.

I really wanna be here.

I really wanna finish my shelter.

So my plan today is just to set as many snares

as I can and then go fishing.

I'm just, uh, coming to the limits

of physical body without food.

I have a lot of issues with my back.

Having some issues in my heart.

Just, uh, it feels like it's struggling to catch up.

On the plus side, my moustache still looks good.

♪ ♪

Ow.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, God.

That didn't help.

♪ ♪

- Okay, gonna have some seaweed breakfast.

I think the thing that concerns me the most is my heart.

I think it's just my heart struggling...

to do this type of work...

without any nutrition, but...

I also don't want that to turn into something serious.

If I keep pushing through this physical pain,

am I doing long-term damage to my heart?

But if I leave, it means that I'm going

to question whether that was my physical suffering

or whether that was this creation in my head.

And that would be a hard thing to try and work through.

It's also only--it's not even three weeks, people.

That is embarrassing.

But I also don't want my pride to keep me here...

And risk...

I don't know, some sort of injury in my back or...

some sort of permanent heart arrhythmia.

So, I don't know.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna walk around the forest a little

and then just kind of see what comes up.

I hope that I can find some food to get my body

the sustenance it needs to heal itself.

♪ ♪

I need a miracle.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Just been walking around the forest.

Trying to see if...

a bear or grouse or something will jump up out at me.

That could have a good supply of food

for a little bit, but no such luck.

I'm not really sure what to do.

I've been trapping, hunting, fishing,

foraging for some berries.

It's not great.

Still have a lot of weight to lose.

♪ ♪

Okay, I think I'm gonna walk around for a little bit

and decide what it is I'm gonna do.

♪ ♪

I'm feeling the limits of my physical body

and just how important it is to care for it.

♪ ♪

I just wanna make sure that I don't risk

an injury or something permanent

by staying out here and not eating.

♪ ♪

My heart's beating irregularly,

and it gets worse when I physically exert myself.

I don't know how I'm gonna finish my shelter.

Every day I work and don't eat,

my back's not really relaxing.

It just gets tighter.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Okay.

This is Igor.

I'm just at a point where I'm really worried

about my health, and I'm tapping out.

♪ ♪

I hope this land felt the gratitude I had

for everything I took from it.

I hope my time here helped me to learn to love

that which is difficult and to have compassion for myself.

It wasn't an easy decision.

It's just so personal and so public,

'cause everyone's gonna watch this

and have an opinion of it,

and also reflecting on the perception

of my family, of my friends,

the people who helped me get ready for this experience.

I hope that they really understand my decision.

Um...

I'm just noticing the sound of my heartbeat,

even when I'm just sitting.

It just doesn't sound-- just doesn't sound right to me.

I'm just concerned I'm gonna do damage to my heart.

When I reflect on the 20 days

that I spent in the wilderness,

it feels shorter than what I wanted it to be.

And I also am aware that my expectations

are not what's important.

What's important is the experience itself.

I feel like the beauty of a rite of passage

is that it's never exactly what you wanted it to be.

It's never something that can be planned and done perfectly.

And I feel like the lessons that I received

from this experience will be things that I'll be

digesting for a while

and insights that will help carry me

into the next period of my life.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- I just want to check in on the beaver.

I saw him the most first thing in the morning.

I'm gonna get ready and get down to the river

and see if we can catch him.

I'll just try to stay hidden, stay quiet, and just watch.

If I go with this experience, knowing that there were

beaver right there, and there's some way I could

have figured it out, it'll drive me a little bit crazy.

Really important to me to try to harvest

at least one of the beavers.

♪ ♪

I am nervous about the lack of food,

but I am so exhilarated to know that there's

an active beaver site on this location.

♪ ♪

Adventure awaits. Let's go find it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Yes, yes, yes.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So I can't believe I'm about to

do what I'm about to do.

I, uh--it's absolutely, literally freezing out here.

There's ice on the water,

and I've gotta swim probably 100 yards.

I mean, this is...

Hypothermic City here.

Mother, I'm sorry you have to see this.

If you ever do see this, I love you.

I sure think about all the time.

I'm sorry for all the things I've put you through.

Friends, family, viewers...

please wish me luck.

♪ ♪

You can see I'm gonna need it.

We're risking it all here.

♪ ♪

Well, this decision may be the end

of my time out here, but...

I have to try to recover this beaver.

Oh, good Lord!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- This is my best chance.

Oh, good Lord.

Be with me, please.

There it is.

Come on, almost there.

Gotcha.

Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

Look, what an incredible creature.

All right, I'm gonna get out of my underwear.

I'm gonna try to get dry, try to get warm.

My feet are absolutely frozen.

I'm just in awe of this morning.

Thank the Lord, thank goodness,

thank the universe.

Seven--eight days I've been up by 5:00 a.m.

Been to the river at least an hour before daylight,

waiting, listening, watching, learning.

And now, for the first time, we know where our next meal

may be coming from.

Such an incredible animal.

Now, I don't know what it weighs.

Sure feels like 30, 35 pounds.

I don't know how much food that'll yield,

but sure is a lot more than we've been having, so...

truly thankful.

♪ ♪

We got a long way to go.

Growing up in West Virginia, I have spent my entire life

striving to be a better hunter,

striving to be a better fisher,

striving to be better in the outdoors,

to appreciate it more and to just be able

to adapt and improvise in those realms better.

And hunting this beaver

was the perfect opportunity to do that.

Beaver is honestly one of my favorite wild game meats.

Never had one from Labrador,

but really looking forward to it now.

I've been dreaming of rendered beaver fat,

the beaver tail, fried liver, fried heart.

I'd love to show people that if I can do it, you know,

a kid from rural West Virginia with no formal training

of any kind, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Just chase your dreams.

Tremendously thankful

for the abundant gifts of this day.

♪ ♪

- Still haven't caught any meat.

Where are you, little squirrel?

Did I get it?

*bleep*.

- I gotta get some sustenance.

- Look at that!

That's a nice clean kill right there.

I have some kind of gut parasite.

♪ ♪

♪

I am basically living in a bowl.

It's raining all the time and the rain is coming down

and just sitting right in the bottom

and that's where I'm building my shelter.

Good morning.

My bags are completely wet

but that's because of the condensation on the tarp.

I am hoping that I can dry it off today.

Construction on my shelter

is going a lot slower than I thought.

And it's taking so much of my day to make sure

that I have a dry sleeping bag so when I go to bed at night,

I can stay warm.

Meditation, it helps me to live in a state of gratitude

for everything I see around me.

And so I keep saying that water is life

and I need to be grateful for every drop of it.

I want to feel complete in my time here.

But, my heartbeat isn't beating the way it normally beats.

And it's getting worse every day as I'm doing more work

and not putting in enough calories.

I just... I don't have much left.

I think this is the end of the road for me.

I'm officially tapping out.

We will send a team to come pick you up.

Okay. Thank you.

It's a really beautiful place

but I'm pretty much struggling with my heart and my back

and not having food just isn't helping my body recover.

Is this what you thought might take you out?

Did you have any that idea your body

would be at this stage at this point?

No, I thought maybe 50, 60, 70 days down the line

I would have issues but not this early.

And this experience has taught me the realization

of how deeply connected my physical body

and my mental and spiritual self are

and that they need to be in balance.

And there is a lot of things that I could have done better,

but I, you know, I did my best while I was out here.

Before we do anything else, we brought something for you.

That is so sweet, thank you.

If it's seaweed, I'm going to throw it at you.

I threw a little seaweed on top.

Fine.

I'm kidding.

Ah, that smells amazing.

It's bone broth.

Oh, that's incredible, thank you so much.

I feel sadness for leaving earlier than I would have liked.

But I think that shift in perspective away

from my own comfort towards a greater eco-system.

It is a really important perspective to have.

And one of the things I will miss about being out there

is the peace I felt connected to the land around me.

I've been an alone fan for many years.

It's had a significant impact on the way I spend time outdoors

and I'm grateful for the days that I had.

I'm someone who's blessed

with a lot of wonderful community in my life.

But the first thing that I want to do when I get home

is just hug my wife.

She's just the brightest star in my galaxy

and I just want to feel her in my arms again.

♪

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