Original subtitles

Dude, I can't believe you can't even lift one box!

Shut your face! I can lift it!

Dude, you sound like Pops crying!

- Fine! You try! - Fine.

See? It's not so easy!

Shut...your...face!

Dude, 21-12 Time Attack Incredibly Rare on Laserdisc!

Hold on!

If I no better,

I think you just said "That's 21-12 Time Attack on Laserdisc!"

That's the director's cut. It's an incredibly rare!

Which means we incredibly have to watch this right now.

But how are we suppose to play it? We don't have a laserdisc player.

Don't worry dudes! I know a place!

Alright, let me do the talking.

Hey, Timmy!

Muscle Man! How's it been?

Oh, you know. Just taking it easy.

Listen, we're looking for a laserdisc player.

You mean "lamer-disc player".

You're out of luck dude!

Nobody carries those things anymore.

Come on man! You gotta have something!

Sorry. Those things are ancient!

Why don't you go check in a library?

Because the Library's where all junkie stuff goes!

It's not funny!

Come on. Let's just go.

They keep laughing but it's not funny!

Okay, we can search for one here.

"Laserdisc Player".

- Why is it taking so long!? - Give it a second!

Hello friends!

We overheard you looking for a laserdisc player!

How about a VCR instead?

VHS: "The VH-Best!"

Uh... no, thanks.

The laserdisc is what we want.

Good luck finding one of those!

There's plenty of VHS tapes out there.

VHS: "Quanity!"

Laserdisc's are higher in quality though...

Well, true,

but did you know that brain can only process so much information?

VHS: "Can't tell the difference!"

Hey, losers! You're all up in our business! Leave us alone!

You're making a huge mistake.

Yes! They have one!

Hey old man!

Get us your laserdisc player!

"Laserdisc player!?" No, no!

We don't have one here.

What!? They said there's one in the basement!

The computer's out of date kid.

Look at his face Mordo! This dude is lying!

So I'm a liar am I!? I'll SHOW ya!

There must be thousands of different formats here!

Of course! This is a library.

But as you can see, no laserdisc players.

Not that it will do you any good even if you could find one.

All the laserdiscs were destroyed! Wiped out by the VHS.

- See? - Yeah! See?

See? See? See?

"20-12." The last laserdisc...

- The prophecy! - What?

Years ago. It was foretold,

four chosen one would reunite that last laserdisc with the last laserdisc player

and end the Format Wars once and for all!

- Look, we just want to watch the movie. - In time.

For you are... the Diskmasters!

No, no, no, no, no!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

This new format was perfect.

Too perfect.

VHS needed to stop laserdiscs superior imaging,

sound developing spread throughout society.

Sadly, consumers heard of it though wispers and rumors.

But VHS wasted no time in snuffing it out!

Oh, we tried to preserve laserdiscs for future generations.

But failed...

When their attack was done, only one laserdisc player remained.

I am the last of my order.

Sworn to protect the final laserdisc player.

You, you're the chosen ones who set me free!

When did all of this happened?

Two years ago! May I?

Fine...

Good heavens...

SP to LP! SP to LP! Time to fast forward!

What are those statues?

They're the Guardians of Obsolete Formats!

Betamax, 8-track, Floppy Disk, Reel-to-Reel.

You see, one just not take the last laserdisc player,

you must awaken the Guardians first.

What the?

Aw man... sick!

- It's amazing! - We did it!

Diskmasters behold! The last laserdisc player!

Cool.

Finally... Finally... Finally...

They are your protecters.

The laserdisc format has many enemies.

Who will stop at nothing to destroy those who wield its power.

Knowning the dangers, would you still take the player?

- Yeah! - We just really want to watch this.

One more thing!

What now bro!?

Library card please.

I can't believe you don't have a library card!

You don't have one either!

Okay! All set!

Hold it right there!

We told you you were making a mistake!

COME ON!!!

Didn't we tell you losers to get lost!?

We can't "get lost".

For you see, we are the Ancient Order of the VHS!

Thank you for revealing the location of the last laserdisc player!

Now, hand it over or die!

VHS: "Your VH-Death!"

Laserdisc will rise again!

For they are the chosen ones and they would gladly die for laserdisc!

Isn't that right Diskmasters?

I don't know about "die" for say...

Very well...

Fire!

Charge!

Full Reel!

RGB-Beam!

Random Access Mayhem!

Send in the Tape Rewinders!

RUN!

I got this!

Where am I?

Yes! We're doing it!

- The day we've worked for is upon us! - Indeed!

Oh no...

The VC-Arbitrator!

- I'll handle this! - 8-Track!

- NO!!! - "8-Track Attack!"

8-TRACK!!!

He was two weeks from retirement...

Everyone okay?

Disk Masters... I'm done for...

I didn't think it would come to this, but...

we're running out of options.

It's time I shed this weak, human form!

- Place the laserdisc on my chest! - Ok.

Now, touch hands and chant "Six Simper Fidelity!"

JUST DO IT!!!

Six Simper Fidelity! Six Simper Fidelity!

The Laserdisc Guardian!

It's...beautiful...

What?

Diskmasters, cover your ears!

Ok!

Hey, you! Cover your ears!

Forty-four point one, killer sample ray...!

Dude, Muscle Man!

My boss heard me making fun of you and totally fired me!

So, it's cool if I hang out with you guys-

Inferred Blast! Inferred Blast!

Inferred Blast!

Diskmasters! The Format Wars are over!

Agreed!

- All hail the Diskmasters! - Hail!

So... can we watch "21-20 Time Attack" now?

Sweet mother of mercy, dear.

Attacking but they're from another time!

I guess it's just like my grandfather Bob said:

"In 21-12, anything is possible!"

This truly is a 21-12 Time Attack!

We're gonna need a lot more hoverbikes!

Dude... it's getting late... how much is left?

Two and a half hours...

The Directors Cut original vision blows...

The picture's amazing!