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1
00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:07,318
(LET'S GO TO PRISON PLAYING)
2
00:01:09,093 --> 00:01:11,653
# There's a place I know,come along with me
3
00:01:11,729 --> 00:01:13,959
# Just break some lawsand you get in free
4
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:15,157
# Three hots and a cot
5
00:01:15,232 --> 00:01:16,563
# An orange jumpsuit
6
00:01:16,634 --> 00:01:17,692
# Your name's a number
7
00:01:17,768 --> 00:01:18,860
# Now, ain't that a hoot?
8
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:21,029
# Throw out that listof things to do
9
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# The State's got plansfor you
10
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,967
# Let's go to prison
11
00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:27,543
# Stir
12
00:01:27,611 --> 00:01:31,012
# Let's go to prison. Stir
13
00:01:32,349 --> 00:01:34,783
# Now, it's correctionsofficer, not called a guard
14
00:01:34,852 --> 00:01:37,252
# Now, won't you kidsgo play in the yard?
15
00:01:37,321 --> 00:01:39,687
# Yeah, walk an earth circleor lift some weights
16
00:01:39,757 --> 00:01:41,622
# Might get lucky,might get some date
17
00:01:41,692 --> 00:01:43,956
# Ain't talking hoopswhen I say man-on-man
18
00:01:44,028 --> 00:01:45,757
# It's zone defense,do what you can
19
00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:48,492
# Let's go to prison
20
00:01:48,899 --> 00:01:50,594
# Big house
21
00:01:50,668 --> 00:01:52,033
# Let's go to prison
22
00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:53,468
# Yeah
23
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:54,629
# Lock up
24
00:01:55,606 --> 00:01:58,097
# Trading smokesfor toilet booze
25
00:01:58,175 --> 00:02:00,473
# Snitch gives you upto the screws
26
00:02:00,544 --> 00:02:02,444
# Bought yourselfsome time in the hole
27
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:05,073
# They'll throw you a Bibleto save your soul
28
00:02:05,149 --> 00:02:07,014
# Oh, ho-ho, Lord
29
00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,051
# Doing a nickel
30
00:02:08,119 --> 00:02:09,245
# Doing a dime
31
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,480
# You know you're innocent
32
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:11,646
# You didn't do the crime
33
00:02:11,722 --> 00:02:12,882
# This place takes patience
34
00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:14,015
# You will find
35
00:02:14,091 --> 00:02:15,080
# But as long as you're here
36
00:02:15,159 --> 00:02:16,524
# Just have a good time
37
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:20,360
# In Angola, Attica, Sing Sing
38
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,956
# Let's go to prison!Come on now!
39
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:25,228
# San Quentin, Tehachapi
40
00:02:25,302 --> 00:02:26,326
# It's called prison
41
00:02:26,403 --> 00:02:27,461
# Let's go, let's go!
42
00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:28,527
# Prison, Alcatraz
43
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,630
# Come on, let's go! #
44
00:02:29,974 --> 00:02:31,566
JOHN:Our justice system sucks.
45
00:02:34,411 --> 00:02:36,936
You know, there are overtwo million Americansbehind bars.
46
00:02:37,014 --> 00:02:40,040
That's a little largerthan the populationof Houston.
47
00:02:40,117 --> 00:02:41,778
(ALL CHEERING)
48
00:02:42,119 --> 00:02:43,643
Every year,there are enough children
49
00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:46,519
born in prison to fill250 Little League teams
50
00:02:46,824 --> 00:02:48,416
and enough peopleare raped in prison
51
00:02:48,492 --> 00:02:50,551
to fill a stadiummore than three times.
52
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,686
Can you picture that?
53
00:02:51,762 --> 00:02:54,060
Three stadiums full of peopleraping each other?
54
00:02:54,899 --> 00:02:56,366
I know I can.
55
00:02:56,901 --> 00:03:00,462
My name's John Lyshitski.I just got out of prison.
56
00:03:00,804 --> 00:03:03,204
(MUSIC PLAYING)
57
00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:09,136
I don't know.
Do you have
anything bigger?
58
00:03:13,884 --> 00:03:16,648
Yeah.
That's more like it.
59
00:03:17,288 --> 00:03:19,779
If I had a nickelfor every timeI've been incarcerated,
60
00:03:19,857 --> 00:03:21,154
I'd have 15 cents.
61
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,593
It all started whenI was eight years old.
62
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,494
I stole the PublishersClearing Houseprize patrol van.
63
00:03:26,564 --> 00:03:28,259
Thought there'd bea million bucks inside.
64
00:03:28,332 --> 00:03:30,027
Where's the check?
Where's the check?
65
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,089
Wait!
66
00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:35,301
They caught me when I triedto cash the giant check.
67
00:03:36,807 --> 00:03:39,674
That was the first time I metJudge Nelson Biederman,
68
00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:41,472
who changed my lifewith the magic word.
69
00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:42,637
Guilty.
70
00:03:43,547 --> 00:03:45,344
You see, Johnny,
71
00:03:45,416 --> 00:03:47,680
the reason we have
all these laws
and rules to live by
72
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:49,712
is so that
we can help guide
73
00:03:49,787 --> 00:03:52,017
all the little boys
with big dreams
74
00:03:52,089 --> 00:03:53,886
and a chance
for a bright future,
75
00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:56,358
and so that
we could help protect them
76
00:03:56,427 --> 00:03:58,622
from worthless scum
like you.
77
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,496
Seven years,
juvenile detention.
78
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:04,666
JOHN: And with that,Judge Biederman
79
00:04:04,735 --> 00:04:06,930
began my tripthrough the justice machine.
80
00:04:07,004 --> 00:04:08,403
The machine works.
81
00:04:08,472 --> 00:04:10,337
It took me,a confused child,
82
00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:12,875
and turned meinto a for-real,no-shit felon.
83
00:04:13,277 --> 00:04:14,471
Hey!
84
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,513
Hit the ground,
motherfuckers
85
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:20,311
or I'll fill you
full of more holes
than the Asshole Day parade.
86
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:24,612
There's an
Asshole Day parade?
87
00:04:31,762 --> 00:04:32,854
Motherfucker.
88
00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:34,158
Guilty.
89
00:04:34,431 --> 00:04:38,162
Four years,
and if being a moron
were a crime, Mr. Lyshitski,
90
00:04:38,636 --> 00:04:40,467
you would never see
the light of day again.
91
00:04:40,537 --> 00:04:42,562
JOHN: I got out againwhen I was 24.
92
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,574
Then that same ass-wipe,Judge Biederman,
93
00:04:44,642 --> 00:04:46,906
sent me backwhen I was 24 and a half.
94
00:04:47,144 --> 00:04:48,270
Four to seven years.
95
00:04:48,345 --> 00:04:50,404
The next time
you steal a car,
Mr. Lyshitski,
96
00:04:50,481 --> 00:04:52,073
check to see if there
are lights on the roof.
97
00:04:52,149 --> 00:04:53,480
(LAUGHING)
98
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,211
You liked that one?
99
00:04:55,319 --> 00:04:58,948
JOHN: I'm out again,and I intend to spreadthe pain around.
100
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:01,381
Starting withHis Honor himself.
101
00:05:03,727 --> 00:05:05,354
Take him down piece by piece.
102
00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:07,556
Kick off his dog,strangle his cat,
103
00:05:07,631 --> 00:05:10,498
shit in his pillowcase,burn down his garage.
104
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:12,660
Then I'll get really creative.
105
00:05:12,736 --> 00:05:13,896
Hello?
106
00:05:14,305 --> 00:05:16,205
Hi. Is this the
municipal courthouse?
107
00:05:17,174 --> 00:05:20,769
Great.
My name is Ken Kennedy.
108
00:05:20,978 --> 00:05:23,742
I'm calling from
the Chicago Tribune.
109
00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:25,577
Yes, we're doing
a story down here
110
00:05:25,649 --> 00:05:29,050
on some of the city's
longest-serving public figures
111
00:05:29,153 --> 00:05:33,590
and we would love to see
Judge Nelson Biederman III
at work.
112
00:05:34,425 --> 00:05:38,486
So could you tell us
which times this week
that he will be on the bench?
113
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,126
Uh-huh.
114
00:05:53,077 --> 00:05:55,944
And how long ago
did you say that he died?
115
00:06:04,188 --> 00:06:07,521
Three days! Fuck!
116
00:06:23,073 --> 00:06:24,597
(CLINKING)
117
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,371
(MUSIC PLAYING)
118
00:06:33,617 --> 00:06:36,916
Who's got a
six-letter synonym
for "deprived of"?
119
00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:39,750
Robbed.
120
00:06:46,997 --> 00:06:50,057
Anybody want to buy me
a champagne drink?
121
00:06:52,269 --> 00:06:54,203
How about a fancy beer?
122
00:06:55,606 --> 00:06:57,437
15 bucks for a lap dance.
123
00:06:58,742 --> 00:07:02,143
Yeah, I'm not that horny.
I just got out of prison.
124
00:07:12,956 --> 00:07:14,389
JOHN: Holy shit!
125
00:07:15,359 --> 00:07:16,826
"Nelson Biederman the IVth."
126
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:20,958
I guesswhen one door slams shut,another one swings open.
127
00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:24,160
Well, look out, Nelly.You're about to meet
128
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:26,725
the other manyour father helped raise.
129
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,964
BARKER:Crimes are everywhere.
130
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,875
They're in our parks,they're in our streets,and they're in our schools.
131
00:07:35,045 --> 00:07:38,037
That's why I need youto be part of...
132
00:07:38,115 --> 00:07:39,912
Where the hell
are you guys?
133
00:07:40,984 --> 00:07:43,248
Well, why the hell
do I have to be here
if you don't?
134
00:07:43,954 --> 00:07:45,319
Yeah, I know
he was my father.
135
00:07:45,389 --> 00:07:47,186
Thanks for the
fucking newsflash.
136
00:07:47,891 --> 00:07:49,415
Don't give me
that shit, Duane.
137
00:07:49,726 --> 00:07:51,023
JOHN: Hello, Nelly.
138
00:07:51,562 --> 00:07:56,363
I give you nowthe new chairmanof the Biederman Foundation
139
00:07:56,433 --> 00:08:00,233
whose generosityhas made this all possible,
140
00:08:01,538 --> 00:08:04,871
Nelson Biederman IV.
141
00:08:10,514 --> 00:08:12,482
I want to thank you allfor attending this honorarium
142
00:08:12,549 --> 00:08:15,017
for my dear,departed Daddy.
143
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:23,120
Now, boys and girls,are you ready to haveyour minds blown?
144
00:08:32,336 --> 00:08:34,429
Well, what you got, Nelson?
145
00:08:46,149 --> 00:08:49,414
A lot of people didn't thinkthat this neighborhood needed
146
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:53,889
a $7-million,original Yoko Ono.
147
00:08:55,058 --> 00:08:58,550
Well, those people didn'tgrow up on these streets.
148
00:08:58,896 --> 00:09:00,227
And maybe I didn't either,
149
00:09:00,297 --> 00:09:02,959
but I am forcedto drive through hereon my way to the airport
150
00:09:03,033 --> 00:09:05,593
and I believe thatanything that I can do
151
00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:10,072
to make your lives andmy drive more beautifulis worth doing.
152
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:18,110
That's why I,Nelson Biederman IV,
153
00:09:18,181 --> 00:09:21,981
in honor of my late father,officially declare
154
00:09:22,052 --> 00:09:26,546
Judge Nelson Biederman IIIPark open.
155
00:09:26,623 --> 00:09:27,954
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
156
00:09:36,233 --> 00:09:37,996
- DUANE:Biederman Foundation.
- Duane.
157
00:09:38,068 --> 00:09:39,865
- Oh, hello?
- It's me, Nelson.
158
00:09:40,270 --> 00:09:43,239
- Who is this?
- Nelson. Listen to me, Duane.
159
00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:44,604
That is the last time
that I go to
160
00:09:44,675 --> 00:09:46,973
one of those goddamn events
with Sergeant Barker.
161
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,944
- Excuse me, who?
- Sergeant Barker,
162
00:09:49,012 --> 00:09:51,378
the dog that hatescrack and stuff.Listen to me, Duane.
163
00:09:51,481 --> 00:09:52,948
I'm gonna be in the office
in half an hour.
164
00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:55,109
When I get there,
there better be a Fresca
waiting for me
165
00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:56,982
and when I say Fresca,
I mean Fresca.
166
00:09:57,054 --> 00:10:01,286
It better not bea Fanta or a Spriteor a Bubble Up or a 7Up.
167
00:10:01,358 --> 00:10:03,724
I want it to bea fucking Fresca!Do you understand me?
168
00:10:03,794 --> 00:10:04,783
Yes, sir.
169
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,530
(MOVE THIS PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)
170
00:10:12,803 --> 00:10:15,397
(SINGING)
171
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,714
Oh my. Look at this.
172
00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:09,990
(TIRES SCREECHING)
173
00:11:11,728 --> 00:11:13,093
(GASPING)
174
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,121
(GRUNTS)
175
00:11:16,199 --> 00:11:17,223
(GLASS SMASHING)
176
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:18,824
(IN KOREAN)
177
00:11:31,381 --> 00:11:33,110
(IN KOREAN)
178
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:37,478
Okay.
179
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:55,699
No! No!
180
00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:04,736
(SCREAMS)
181
00:12:08,785 --> 00:12:10,343
PHARMACIST: We have no money.
182
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,255
(SIRENS WAILING)
JOHN: Look at this.
183
00:12:18,328 --> 00:12:22,731
Old Nelson IV's got his pinkycaught in the same machinehis daddy threw me into.
184
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,965
The boys in
the legal department think
185
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:27,230
the best
course of action would
be for you to plead guilty,
186
00:12:27,671 --> 00:12:30,367
plea bargain to keep thisas quiet as possible,
187
00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:33,204
and step down as chairmanof the Foundation.
188
00:12:33,810 --> 00:12:36,074
Well, then,
you tell the boys
in the legal department
189
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:38,307
that they are
a bunch of dipshits,
190
00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:41,913
because I am innocent.
191
00:12:42,085 --> 00:12:46,112
Well, apparently,
the police have a videotape
of you committing the crime.
192
00:12:46,189 --> 00:12:50,057
You, or one of those othercadaverous bag-of-bone a-holes
193
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,921
sitting at that table,
194
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,756
better strap ona goddamn piss-bag,
195
00:12:54,831 --> 00:12:56,526
get down hereand get me out of here
196
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,898
or you're allgonna be replaced!You got it, Duane?
197
00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:04,071
I'll buy this place and
have it burned to the ground.
198
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:09,343
Well, should we
call the governor?
199
00:13:09,412 --> 00:13:10,640
He owes us one.
200
00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:12,306
That would get him out.
201
00:13:12,549 --> 00:13:14,244
Does anybody here
want him out?
202
00:13:17,621 --> 00:13:18,645
(CLEARING THROAT)
203
00:13:18,722 --> 00:13:21,350
Okay. How about this?
204
00:13:21,591 --> 00:13:26,494
I will represent Nelson
with the help
of our dipshit department.
205
00:13:26,797 --> 00:13:27,957
Super!
206
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:33,025
Case number 9741,
207
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:36,595
State of Illinois v.Nelson Perth Biederman IV.
208
00:13:36,673 --> 00:13:39,733
The Honorable Judge
Eva Fwae-Wan presiding.
209
00:13:42,012 --> 00:13:43,172
"Just tell her
what you think"?
210
00:13:43,246 --> 00:13:44,440
Just tell her
what you think.
211
00:13:44,514 --> 00:13:45,503
Okay. Shit.
212
00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:48,646
Permission to approach,
Your Honor.
213
00:13:48,718 --> 00:13:50,811
FWAE-WAN: What is it,
Mr. Biederman?
214
00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:55,586
Look, I'm gonna be frank.
215
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,285
Off the record,
you knew my father.
216
00:14:01,031 --> 00:14:04,432
I've assembled the finest
legal team that money can buy.
217
00:14:05,502 --> 00:14:06,594
Those guys.
218
00:14:08,171 --> 00:14:10,935
You got better things to do,
I got better things to do.
219
00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:14,135
We both know
all I'm gonna get
is a slap on the old wrist
220
00:14:14,211 --> 00:14:15,906
and a formal apology
221
00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:18,072
and a case of champagne
from the governor.
222
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:20,144
Why don't
we all just try to
move this thing along
223
00:14:20,217 --> 00:14:21,741
as quickly as possible?
224
00:14:22,285 --> 00:14:24,947
Well, Mr. Biederman,
off the record,
225
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,949
I am going to
hurry this along,
226
00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:29,287
but it's because
people like you
make me sick
227
00:14:29,359 --> 00:14:32,658
and I don't want
your Drakkar Noir
stinking up my courtroom.
228
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,254
Prosecution,
present your case!
229
00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,662
JOHN:The three scariest wordsin the English language.
230
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:42,798
"Trial by jury."
231
00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:48,609
Juries are made upof 12 people who are so dumb
232
00:14:48,678 --> 00:14:52,045
they couldn'teven think up an excuseto get out of jury duty.
233
00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:55,084
I'm just proud to be
a part of the American
judicimal system.
234
00:14:55,518 --> 00:14:57,509
I mean, uh, judaical.
235
00:14:57,954 --> 00:15:00,821
I was so happy to be
picked for jury duty.
236
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,725
It's like
watching Court TV,
237
00:15:03,894 --> 00:15:06,260
except I'm in the TV,
238
00:15:06,529 --> 00:15:09,259
just like the boy
from Willy Wonka.
239
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,869
Before my daddy died,
he taught me one thing.
240
00:15:18,074 --> 00:15:20,634
See the thumb goes away,
comes back.
241
00:15:22,479 --> 00:15:24,140
Judaical system?
242
00:15:24,948 --> 00:15:27,974
No. Jewidecimal system.
243
00:15:28,618 --> 00:15:29,642
That ain't right.
244
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:31,546
(GRUNTING)
245
00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:37,719
Mr. Hinkley?
246
00:15:38,194 --> 00:15:39,252
Oh, yeah?
247
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,160
You may proceed
with your defense.
248
00:15:41,831 --> 00:15:42,957
Watch this.
249
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,099
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
250
00:15:48,972 --> 00:15:51,167
you've all seen Jurassic Park
251
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,675
and yet you're aware
that Jeff Goldblum has
252
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:57,201
never actually been
attacked by dinosaurs.
253
00:15:57,547 --> 00:16:00,448
Even though
you've seen it
with your own eyes
254
00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:04,213
on a TV
not unlike that one.
255
00:16:08,091 --> 00:16:09,615
I rest my case.
256
00:16:11,661 --> 00:16:12,650
(LAUGHING)
257
00:16:13,797 --> 00:16:15,492
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
258
00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,430
have you reached a verdict?
259
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,967
Yes, we have, Your Honor.
260
00:16:19,035 --> 00:16:22,493
We, the jury,
find the defendant,
Nelson Biederman,
261
00:16:23,707 --> 00:16:24,833
quilty.
262
00:16:24,908 --> 00:16:26,671
FWAE-WAN:
Do you mean guilty?
263
00:16:27,644 --> 00:16:31,978
Oh, yeah.
Well, it kind of
looked like it was a "Q."
264
00:16:32,549 --> 00:16:35,313
Nelson Biederman,
you've been found
guilty of felony assault.
265
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:36,943
I sentence you to
three to five years
266
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,954
in the Rossmore State
Correctional Facility.
267
00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:40,353
(GAVEL BANGING)
This court is adjourned.
268
00:16:40,423 --> 00:16:41,412
(WHOOPS)
269
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,215
Fuck. Fuck.
270
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,693
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
271
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:51,759
NELSON: Fuck!
272
00:16:53,436 --> 00:16:54,562
JOHN: Nelson Biederman IV
273
00:16:54,637 --> 00:16:56,798
is gonna getbeaten, tortured, raped,
274
00:16:56,873 --> 00:16:58,773
psychologically abusedand raped some more
275
00:16:58,842 --> 00:17:00,673
by the so-calledjustice system.
276
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,213
So why am I not happy?
277
00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:06,972
I feels likeit's prom night
278
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,984
and everyone elseis porking my date.
279
00:17:10,086 --> 00:17:12,281
I'm gonna have a heart attackif you don't give memy medication...
280
00:17:12,355 --> 00:17:14,880
You see this all the time.Ma'am, please, we needto talk to Derek right now.
281
00:17:14,958 --> 00:17:16,926
Oh, fuck you.I don't even knowwhere he could be...
282
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:18,255
Can we talk to him?
283
00:17:19,129 --> 00:17:22,428
You pissed me off because...I mean I went to my own...
284
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,990
Do you own this house?I mean...
285
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:27,127
And you know what?I need my medication.
286
00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:33,034
Silverman took mymedication away from me!I could have a heart attack.
287
00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:35,373
Hey, John,
you okay?
288
00:17:35,578 --> 00:17:38,775
You seem sort of...
289
00:17:40,383 --> 00:17:42,476
Clinically depressed.
Yeah.
290
00:17:42,552 --> 00:17:44,179
I don't know, guys.
291
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:46,950
Don't you ever wonder
if there's more to life
than smoking grass
292
00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,014
and watching guys
get arrested on TV?
293
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:55,922
I got some coke.
294
00:17:58,268 --> 00:17:59,667
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
295
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,667
Hey.
You John?
296
00:18:06,976 --> 00:18:08,204
We're here
to buy some pot.
297
00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:11,145
Yeah,
my friend said
you'd hook us up.
298
00:18:11,614 --> 00:18:13,241
My friend Ben Franklin?
299
00:18:14,017 --> 00:18:15,416
JOHN:Any felon worth his salt
300
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,953
can smell undercover copsfrom 20 paces,
301
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:21,889
and there's no way in hellhe'd do something crazylike sell pot to them.
302
00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:25,794
Unless he actuallywanted to go to jail.
303
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,665
You guys should
probably take off.
304
00:18:40,543 --> 00:18:41,840
What for?
305
00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:45,172
Those two clowns
I just sold grass to
are cops.
306
00:18:47,717 --> 00:18:50,185
You didn't buy that whole
Cheech and Chong routine,
did you?
307
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:51,379
(BANGING ON DOOR)
308
00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:54,582
I can't believe they fell
for the Cheech and Chong bit.
309
00:18:57,994 --> 00:18:59,723
OFFICER: Police! Open up!
310
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:02,895
Come on, John!
311
00:19:02,966 --> 00:19:04,627
(BANGING ON DOOR)
OFFICER: Open the door
or we're coming in.
312
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:07,261
JOHN: I guesssometimes when fateknocks on your door,
313
00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:08,929
it has a search warrant.
314
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,232
I'll go to jail.
315
00:19:13,309 --> 00:19:15,573
I'll get bunked upwith Nelson Biederman IV
316
00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:17,840
and I'll make surehe gets the full treatment.
317
00:19:17,914 --> 00:19:20,542
Yup. My whole life'sbeen leading up to this.
318
00:19:21,217 --> 00:19:22,912
Guilty as hell.
Guilty?
319
00:19:22,986 --> 00:19:24,317
Now if we could
discuss sentencing?
320
00:19:24,387 --> 00:19:25,411
Save it, Lyshitski.
321
00:19:25,488 --> 00:19:26,580
How does seven-to-ten
work for you?
322
00:19:26,656 --> 00:19:27,680
Not as good
as one-to-three.
323
00:19:27,757 --> 00:19:28,883
Five-to-seven?
324
00:19:28,958 --> 00:19:30,550
I'll settle for three-to-five,
but wait. There's more.
325
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,754
What's that?
I want to do my time
in Rossmore.
326
00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:35,127
You actually want to go to
Rossmore Penitentiary? Why?
327
00:19:35,732 --> 00:19:38,929
Three words, sister.
Location, location, location.
328
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:53,041
Hey. John Lyshitski.
329
00:19:53,116 --> 00:19:54,777
What's your name?
330
00:19:58,154 --> 00:20:00,247
Nelson Biederman IV.
331
00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:03,219
Where you heading?
332
00:20:05,028 --> 00:20:06,222
Prison.
333
00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:07,418
(SCOFFS)
334
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:08,858
Me, too.
335
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:14,533
Tell you what,
we should be cellmates.
336
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:19,699
I don't snore
and I'm a pretty
quiet masturbator.
337
00:20:20,777 --> 00:20:23,405
Hell, I'll even
give you the top bunk.
338
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,744
Thanks.
339
00:20:32,322 --> 00:20:34,347
Thanks for
talking to me.
340
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,015
Last couple days
in the holding cell,
341
00:20:37,093 --> 00:20:40,494
some of these
gang members
342
00:20:41,231 --> 00:20:43,665
were really giving me
the cold shoulder.
343
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,592
It's inexcusable.
344
00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:46,828
That's what I thought.
345
00:20:46,903 --> 00:20:48,871
I mean,
why be that way?
346
00:21:12,262 --> 00:21:14,230
WARDEN:
Welcome to your new home.
347
00:21:15,265 --> 00:21:20,430
Let me start off by saying
that if any one of you
is innocent,
348
00:21:21,137 --> 00:21:22,934
just raise your hand.
349
00:21:23,539 --> 00:21:24,836
You'll be free to go.
350
00:21:24,907 --> 00:21:27,569
MAN 1: Come on, baby!
You gonna be mine!
351
00:21:29,312 --> 00:21:31,803
Yeah, we're tossing salad!
That's what I'm talking about!
352
00:21:32,982 --> 00:21:35,007
Put your little finger up,
baby! Yeah!
353
00:21:39,055 --> 00:21:41,046
You gonna be my bitch
up in here!
354
00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:43,614
(GRUNTS)
355
00:21:46,129 --> 00:21:48,529
That was my little joke.
356
00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:54,633
I have a notoriously
dry sense of humor.
357
00:21:56,906 --> 00:21:59,602
All right.
Here's how it's gonna work.
358
00:22:01,277 --> 00:22:03,472
If you make
my life difficult,
359
00:22:04,113 --> 00:22:08,379
I will make your life
exponentially more painful.
360
00:22:08,484 --> 00:22:09,542
MAN 2: Yeah!
361
00:22:10,219 --> 00:22:12,210
If you have a complaint,
362
00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:15,020
all you have to do,
363
00:22:15,224 --> 00:22:17,522
write it down
on a piece of paper,
364
00:22:18,094 --> 00:22:19,959
put it in an envelope
365
00:22:20,029 --> 00:22:21,860
and stick it up
your asshole.
366
00:22:21,931 --> 00:22:24,764
MAN 3:
Give me some brown sugar!
Tell them how we do it, boy!
367
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,199
(CHUCKLING)
368
00:22:27,537 --> 00:22:31,667
If you feel that you've
been treated unfairly,
369
00:22:32,942 --> 00:22:37,106
write it neatly on some paper,
fold it up real good,
370
00:22:37,447 --> 00:22:41,008
pull your cheeks apart
and stick it up your asshole.
371
00:22:45,922 --> 00:22:51,622
If you have comments
or suggestions about
how I run my prison
372
00:22:51,694 --> 00:22:56,654
or, let's say,
maybe the cuisine
is not to your liking,
373
00:22:57,467 --> 00:23:00,129
please write a letter
to my office.
374
00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:06,741
Just make sure that
under "return address,"
you write the word "asshole,"
375
00:23:07,343 --> 00:23:10,710
so that my head guard,
Mr. Shanahan, can assist you
376
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,338
in pulling
your cheeks apart
377
00:23:12,415 --> 00:23:14,076
and sticking it up
your asshole.
378
00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:16,948
MAN 4: He's got some
pretty eyes. Pretty lips.
379
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,983
WARDEN:
Come on, that was funny.
380
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:26,785
GUARD: All right! Move it out!
381
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:30,026
Cell 433. I want you
to sign right there.
382
00:23:32,468 --> 00:23:34,265
Move off, Biederman.
383
00:23:36,272 --> 00:23:37,899
Lyshitski, John Q.
384
00:23:37,974 --> 00:23:39,464
Hello, Johnny.
How you doing?
385
00:23:39,542 --> 00:23:42,602
(CHUCKLING)
Rooney. No glasses.
You got the surgery.
386
00:23:43,212 --> 00:23:44,577
Yes, I did.
387
00:23:44,647 --> 00:23:48,014
One Metallica t-shirt,
Master of Puppets.
388
00:23:49,218 --> 00:23:50,708
One money clip.
389
00:23:50,787 --> 00:23:54,120
I'd like to room
with Biederman.
390
00:23:54,957 --> 00:23:59,758
Empty. Cell number 433.
391
00:24:00,797 --> 00:24:01,821
Sign right there.
392
00:24:01,898 --> 00:24:03,297
Can I get my old shit?
393
00:24:03,366 --> 00:24:04,594
Give it to him.
394
00:24:04,667 --> 00:24:08,660
JOHN:So fate, with a little helpfrom every last nickel I had,
395
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:13,402
threw me into a cellwith the esteemedNelson Biederman IV.
396
00:24:13,476 --> 00:24:17,071
Today is the first dayof the restof my beautiful life.
397
00:24:19,215 --> 00:24:20,614
People thinkthey can't imagine
398
00:24:20,683 --> 00:24:22,310
what it feels liketo be in prison.
399
00:24:22,418 --> 00:24:23,510
It's easy.
400
00:24:23,586 --> 00:24:25,110
You know thatbolt of fear you get
401
00:24:25,188 --> 00:24:28,123
when you see a cop'sflashing red lightsin your rear view?
402
00:24:28,191 --> 00:24:30,625
It makes you dizzy andkind of sick to your stomach.
403
00:24:30,693 --> 00:24:33,025
Now imagine feeling that24 hours a day
404
00:24:33,095 --> 00:24:36,656
while you're surroundedby convicted killerswho feel the exact same way.
405
00:24:36,732 --> 00:24:38,859
It'd kind of put youon edge, huh?
406
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:41,267
Well, that's lifein the machine.
407
00:24:41,337 --> 00:24:43,737
Nobody's here to relax,and once you're in,
408
00:24:43,806 --> 00:24:45,967
there's only onequick way out.
409
00:24:46,042 --> 00:24:47,407
In a body bag.
410
00:24:47,477 --> 00:24:50,275
MAN 1: Dead man rolling!
MAN 2: Dead man rolling!
411
00:24:54,784 --> 00:24:56,012
Wait...
412
00:24:57,653 --> 00:25:00,918
Well, be it ever so humble.
413
00:25:07,663 --> 00:25:09,597
I'll just
take the top.
414
00:25:15,705 --> 00:25:18,196
It doesn't seem like
they cleaned this toilet up.
415
00:25:18,274 --> 00:25:19,798
It's disgusting.
416
00:25:20,743 --> 00:25:23,075
MAN 1: Hey, bro, hold it.
You got two minutes.
417
00:25:23,145 --> 00:25:24,476
(CRYING)
418
00:25:27,116 --> 00:25:29,880
MAN 2: You want in on it?
Come on. What we got here?
419
00:25:31,954 --> 00:25:36,118
Look, amigo, if you're
gonna make it in here,
you better smarten up.
420
00:25:38,294 --> 00:25:41,092
Those pricks out there
see you like this,
you won't make it a week.
421
00:25:41,163 --> 00:25:43,358
You don't wanna die
in your first week,
do you?
422
00:25:43,432 --> 00:25:44,524
(SOBBING) No.
423
00:25:46,269 --> 00:25:47,463
Right.
424
00:25:47,937 --> 00:25:50,633
So you got to trust me.
Do what I do.
425
00:25:51,607 --> 00:25:54,576
Just keep your mouth shut
and try not to cry.
426
00:25:55,378 --> 00:25:57,278
It's all right to cry.
427
00:25:58,247 --> 00:26:00,545
Crying takes the sad
out of you.
428
00:26:01,517 --> 00:26:03,644
"Crying takes the sad
out of you"?
429
00:26:04,287 --> 00:26:06,653
Hey, that shit may
have flown back when
you were a human being,
430
00:26:06,722 --> 00:26:09,748
but you're not now.
You're a piece of meat
and you're in the grinder.
431
00:26:09,825 --> 00:26:11,452
The softer you are,
the more it's gonna
grind you up,
432
00:26:11,527 --> 00:26:14,325
and the more them animals
are gonna wanna eat you.
433
00:26:14,397 --> 00:26:16,865
All right,
you gotta toughen up.
434
00:26:17,533 --> 00:26:19,501
Show me your tough face.
435
00:26:20,803 --> 00:26:22,964
Show me Nelson's
tough face.
436
00:26:28,644 --> 00:26:31,807
Jesus, you look like you're
going to take a shit,
or something.
437
00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:33,906
Hey, John.
How you doing?
438
00:26:33,983 --> 00:26:36,383
Same Lyshitski,
different day.
439
00:26:36,452 --> 00:26:38,352
Got some mail for you.
440
00:26:38,688 --> 00:26:41,020
Bit backed up.
Couple weeks.
441
00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:42,489
Who's the new guy?
442
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:46,085
That is Nelson Biederman IV.
443
00:26:53,235 --> 00:26:55,863
He got to take
a shit or something?
444
00:26:56,839 --> 00:26:59,433
JOHN: No, he's trying
to look like bad meat.
Yeah.
445
00:27:03,346 --> 00:27:04,540
Okay.
446
00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:10,245
MAN 3: Now keep it quiet
down there.
447
00:27:11,854 --> 00:27:14,152
Look at this,
we can order out.
448
00:27:14,957 --> 00:27:16,822
MAN 4: I need some
toilet paper, what's up?
449
00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:19,084
MAN 5: Well, we got to you.
450
00:27:19,161 --> 00:27:21,220
So now what do we do?
451
00:27:21,464 --> 00:27:22,453
Hmm?
452
00:27:24,166 --> 00:27:25,827
What do you mean?
453
00:27:26,268 --> 00:27:27,826
What do I mean?
454
00:27:28,537 --> 00:27:31,335
I mean, what are we...
What are we supposed to do?
455
00:27:31,741 --> 00:27:34,107
We're doing it, man.
This is it.
456
00:27:35,544 --> 00:27:38,104
We're right in
the thick of the action.
457
00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:40,614
We hang out here,
go to lunch,
458
00:27:40,683 --> 00:27:42,981
come back, hang out some more,
go to dinner.
459
00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:47,448
You know how someone
might describe a situation
460
00:27:47,523 --> 00:27:51,550
that's unpleasant or confining
as being "like a prison"?
461
00:27:53,929 --> 00:27:56,830
Yeah.
This is what
they were referring to.
462
00:27:57,199 --> 00:27:59,667
MAN 6: C�llate la boca!
463
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:04,233
JOHN: It costs $54 a dayto keep a person in prison,
464
00:28:04,306 --> 00:28:07,332
which comes out to$75 million a day nationally.
465
00:28:07,410 --> 00:28:09,571
That's $28 billion a year.
466
00:28:09,645 --> 00:28:11,044
When you think about it,
467
00:28:11,113 --> 00:28:14,105
wouldn't it be cheaperjust to let us keepyour goddamn car stereos?
468
00:28:16,986 --> 00:28:19,216
What's on the menu today,
good sir?
469
00:28:21,590 --> 00:28:25,185
That's meat.
That ain't meat.
470
00:28:27,029 --> 00:28:28,428
Ain't meat.
471
00:28:33,069 --> 00:28:34,559
Hit me with some meat.
472
00:28:34,637 --> 00:28:35,831
MAN: Hey, come on,
hurry up.
473
00:28:40,009 --> 00:28:42,477
Great American
melting pot.
474
00:28:42,545 --> 00:28:46,504
You know,
20% of all prisoners
aren't even US citizens?
475
00:28:46,582 --> 00:28:49,779
About 10% are Mexican,
2% Colombian.
476
00:28:49,852 --> 00:28:51,979
I can't
tell the difference.
477
00:28:52,321 --> 00:28:54,653
How do you know
all this stuff, John?
478
00:28:54,724 --> 00:28:57,215
I'm on a lot of
weird mailing lists.
479
00:28:57,293 --> 00:28:59,420
See those bad asses
over there?
480
00:28:59,495 --> 00:29:00,689
They're the White Kingdom.
481
00:29:00,763 --> 00:29:02,492
They pretty much
run the roost.
482
00:29:02,965 --> 00:29:07,629
He who controls the smack,
controls the joint,
and by "he," I mean him.
483
00:29:07,703 --> 00:29:09,967
Lynard.
Don't be fooled, though.
484
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:13,202
Underneath all those swastikas
he's a real prick.
485
00:29:14,410 --> 00:29:16,139
MAN 1: Hey, hey.
You ain't gonna
eat that, right?
486
00:29:19,482 --> 00:29:21,950
At exactly 12:15,
stand up.
487
00:29:23,652 --> 00:29:24,744
Why?
488
00:29:25,621 --> 00:29:28,055
Just do it.
It's kind of a prank.
489
00:29:28,924 --> 00:29:29,982
Oh.
490
00:29:30,726 --> 00:29:33,820
We used to
do this sort of thing
all the time at prep school.
491
00:29:33,896 --> 00:29:37,491
A couple of the boys
wanted to put one over
on old Professor LaRoche.
492
00:29:37,566 --> 00:29:38,965
(CHUCKLING)
493
00:29:39,034 --> 00:29:40,865
At exactly
the appointed minute,
494
00:29:40,936 --> 00:29:44,702
all the boys would
push their books
down onto the floor.
495
00:29:44,774 --> 00:29:47,004
Old LaRoche almost
had a heart attack...
Oh, shit. Not the face.
496
00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:48,566
Not the face!
497
00:29:49,411 --> 00:29:50,935
(SCREAMING)
498
00:29:51,013 --> 00:29:53,481
Break it up!
Break it up!
499
00:29:54,784 --> 00:29:57,309
You, fish,
who started this shit?
500
00:29:57,853 --> 00:29:59,684
(GROANING)
Leave it alone.
501
00:29:59,755 --> 00:30:00,744
(SCREAMS)
502
00:30:04,827 --> 00:30:05,953
He did.
503
00:30:06,028 --> 00:30:08,588
All right, Lynard,
you're going to the hole.
504
00:30:08,664 --> 00:30:12,065
Lunch is over, ladies,
hit the showers! Move it!
505
00:30:15,971 --> 00:30:19,099
That's gotta be the stupidest
goddamn thing I've ever seen.
506
00:30:19,175 --> 00:30:20,767
Never narc on somebody.
507
00:30:20,843 --> 00:30:22,606
I mean,
haven't you seen
any prison movies?
508
00:30:22,678 --> 00:30:23,667
You told me to.
509
00:30:23,746 --> 00:30:25,873
Yeah. I didn't mean
for you to tell the truth.
510
00:30:25,948 --> 00:30:30,044
You're dead, and I'll probably
gonna get kicked in the teeth
just for talking to you.
511
00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:31,484
I'm sorry.
512
00:30:33,189 --> 00:30:34,747
Okay.
513
00:30:34,824 --> 00:30:38,453
Listen, from now on you do
exactly as I say. Exactly.
514
00:30:38,928 --> 00:30:40,361
Okay?
Okay.
515
00:30:41,397 --> 00:30:44,332
Just remember,
number one rule in prison,
516
00:30:44,900 --> 00:30:47,368
always look out
for your cellmate.
517
00:30:48,771 --> 00:30:51,535
JOHN: Remember,the number one rule in prison,
518
00:30:52,107 --> 00:30:54,905
never trust anybody.
519
00:31:00,649 --> 00:31:02,583
Of all the fearsmen have about prison,
520
00:31:02,651 --> 00:31:04,744
loss of liberty,eating bad food,
521
00:31:04,820 --> 00:31:06,845
claustrophobia, loneliness,
522
00:31:06,922 --> 00:31:10,881
none of them compareto the prospect ofbeing fucked up the ass.
523
00:31:11,427 --> 00:31:13,258
So,
what's a beautiful
white boy like you
524
00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:14,990
doing in a place
like this?
525
00:31:16,565 --> 00:31:18,055
Three to five.
526
00:31:19,435 --> 00:31:20,925
Soft time, huh?
527
00:31:21,904 --> 00:31:23,030
Yeah.
528
00:31:24,173 --> 00:31:25,936
I like soft things.
529
00:31:26,742 --> 00:31:29,040
You know,
like, soft music,
530
00:31:29,578 --> 00:31:32,775
maybe a soft
little baby duck
on Easter morning.
531
00:31:36,118 --> 00:31:37,813
You like little baby ducks?
532
00:31:38,888 --> 00:31:41,721
Hey, back the hell off,
Barry.
533
00:31:42,124 --> 00:31:43,591
He's my bitch.
534
00:31:44,793 --> 00:31:47,227
Hey, Lyshitski,
how's it hanging?
535
00:31:48,030 --> 00:31:49,930
Little to the right,
I see.
536
00:31:50,366 --> 00:31:53,096
Hey, he's my property,
dickmonster.
537
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:54,996
You guys got that?
538
00:31:55,070 --> 00:31:56,901
This little filly's all mine.
539
00:31:56,972 --> 00:31:58,906
You can look,
but don't touch.
540
00:31:58,974 --> 00:32:02,273
Juliet's asshole's got
one name stenciled on it.
Mine.
541
00:32:02,344 --> 00:32:06,110
Romeo. Romeo Lyshitski.
Capisce, amigos?
542
00:32:06,181 --> 00:32:07,978
No rear entry.
543
00:32:09,251 --> 00:32:10,946
That goes for you.
544
00:32:15,157 --> 00:32:17,682
That big bastard's
the head of the Black G-Lords.
545
00:32:21,163 --> 00:32:24,098
I don't mean to sound
ungrateful, John,
546
00:32:24,166 --> 00:32:27,294
but did you have to stick
your finger up my ass?
547
00:32:27,603 --> 00:32:29,901
No. Probably not.
548
00:32:32,074 --> 00:32:33,701
But it happened.
549
00:32:35,544 --> 00:32:37,512
You've gotta get me
out of here. Now!
550
00:32:37,579 --> 00:32:39,911
Before I become
bitch du jour for
one of the G-Lords.
551
00:32:39,982 --> 00:32:42,143
I don't care how much
it costs. I want out.
552
00:32:43,152 --> 00:32:44,642
Well, that's just it,
Mr. Biederman,
553
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,984
you don't have any money.
554
00:32:47,056 --> 00:32:49,183
What're you talking about?
I have millions.
555
00:32:49,258 --> 00:32:51,317
Well, the Foundation does,
yes,
556
00:32:51,393 --> 00:32:55,159
but legally,
you have no access
to the Foundation's funds
557
00:32:55,230 --> 00:32:58,324
unless you are chairman,
which you are no longer.
558
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,369
My father started
the Biederman Foundation.
559
00:33:01,437 --> 00:33:05,203
My name is Nelson Biederman!
You can't fire me!
560
00:33:05,774 --> 00:33:09,870
Actually, according to
the Foundation's charter,
we were required to.
561
00:33:09,945 --> 00:33:13,244
So, without Foundation funds,
you don't have a dime.
562
00:33:13,315 --> 00:33:16,682
Unless you've been working
a paper route on the side.
563
00:33:16,752 --> 00:33:18,151
(LAUGHING)
564
00:33:20,189 --> 00:33:21,679
I'm so sorry.
565
00:33:22,324 --> 00:33:26,158
That's why I brought you
a Fresca.
566
00:33:26,261 --> 00:33:27,751
MAN 1: Hey, hey. Sit down.
567
00:33:27,830 --> 00:33:31,129
After all,
we are a charity.
568
00:33:31,567 --> 00:33:35,025
So here. Just lean in.
Go ahead.
569
00:33:35,104 --> 00:33:37,038
GUARD: No food or drinks!
Oh.
570
00:33:37,539 --> 00:33:40,906
Ouch.
I'm sorry, Mr. Biederman.
571
00:33:41,643 --> 00:33:44,305
MAN 2: Hurry it up.
A lot of people waiting.
572
00:33:46,548 --> 00:33:47,572
(SLURPING)
573
00:33:47,649 --> 00:33:48,809
Duane!
574
00:33:56,258 --> 00:33:59,125
(AIN'T THAT A KICK IN THE HEAD
PLAYING)
575
00:35:20,609 --> 00:35:22,008
(CHUCKLING)
576
00:35:40,095 --> 00:35:42,290
Thank you
for the pencil, John.
577
00:35:42,364 --> 00:35:44,559
No problem.
Found it in the shitter.
578
00:36:05,687 --> 00:36:08,315
All right, Johnny,
how much for real?
579
00:36:10,659 --> 00:36:14,220
Well, he's a really
good friend of mine.
580
00:36:14,296 --> 00:36:18,460
I couldn't possibly
let you have him for
anything less than, say,
581
00:36:18,867 --> 00:36:22,064
half ounce of grass,
four cartons of smokes?
582
00:36:22,404 --> 00:36:25,601
Shit. Honky, please.
You out your mind?
583
00:36:25,674 --> 00:36:27,904
Hey, you want to
break off a piece
of that white chocolate,
584
00:36:27,976 --> 00:36:29,637
it's going to cost you.
585
00:36:36,385 --> 00:36:37,716
Well, shit.
586
00:36:39,588 --> 00:36:41,385
Your name must be Monty Hall,
motherfucker,
587
00:36:41,456 --> 00:36:42,718
'cause
we just made a deal.
588
00:36:43,525 --> 00:36:45,516
(JOHN WHISTLING)
589
00:36:45,594 --> 00:36:47,721
MAN: You gonna
say it to my fist!
590
00:36:53,802 --> 00:36:55,963
Come on, man!
591
00:37:01,577 --> 00:37:03,568
What's with the robe,
John?
592
00:37:03,645 --> 00:37:05,613
Well, if you wanna
keep getting the catalog,
593
00:37:05,681 --> 00:37:08,775
you got to order something
every now and again.
594
00:37:08,850 --> 00:37:11,341
Figured I'd get
more use out of this
than a Miracle Bra.
595
00:37:11,987 --> 00:37:13,352
(BANGING ON CELL)
596
00:37:13,422 --> 00:37:16,255
Lyshitski,
garbage detail!
597
00:37:16,592 --> 00:37:17,581
(WHISTLES)
598
00:37:19,928 --> 00:37:21,919
Wait, you're not gonna
leave me in here
by myself, are you?
599
00:37:21,997 --> 00:37:24,898
I'll be back in 20 minutes.
Just remember your tough face.
600
00:37:30,872 --> 00:37:32,464
Oh, spooky.
601
00:37:32,975 --> 00:37:35,910
Looks like he has to
take a shit. Come on!
602
00:37:39,481 --> 00:37:41,312
JOHN: Hold the fort, amigo.
603
00:37:48,390 --> 00:37:49,755
Hey, thanks, Shanahan.
604
00:37:49,825 --> 00:37:52,225
Don't thank me, asshole,
just pay me.
605
00:37:58,100 --> 00:37:59,692
(GRUNTING)
606
00:38:01,903 --> 00:38:03,097
(GROANING)
607
00:38:21,923 --> 00:38:25,916
I'd like to apologize
for the crassness
of my associates.
608
00:38:27,329 --> 00:38:32,266
I doubt very much
if they've even cracked
the binding on Emily Post.
609
00:38:36,471 --> 00:38:38,564
Would you like some merlot?
610
00:38:42,577 --> 00:38:44,545
I make it in the toilet.
611
00:38:50,485 --> 00:38:52,009
Are you Pisces?
612
00:38:55,590 --> 00:38:57,922
Yeah, I knew it.
613
00:38:57,993 --> 00:39:02,157
How do you do it, Barry?
How do you do it?
614
00:39:03,665 --> 00:39:06,190
So what shall we drink to?
615
00:39:09,905 --> 00:39:11,304
Oh, I know.
616
00:39:12,341 --> 00:39:14,366
Serendipity.
617
00:39:15,010 --> 00:39:19,310
What a delightful
force of nature,
serendipity.
618
00:39:30,959 --> 00:39:32,119
Yummy.
619
00:39:34,062 --> 00:39:37,554
Look here, Nelson,
can I ask you a question?
620
00:39:40,502 --> 00:39:42,663
Does my ass
look big to you?
621
00:39:50,278 --> 00:39:51,905
No?
Liar!
622
00:39:52,381 --> 00:39:55,179
I ought to cut
your stinking-ass,
lying throat for lying!
623
00:39:55,250 --> 00:40:00,552
I'm a cow! A big-hipped,
fat, nasty, gelatin-assed,
buttermilk-making cow!
624
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,592
You wear it very well.
625
00:40:07,329 --> 00:40:08,353
Oh.
626
00:40:09,731 --> 00:40:10,857
Well.
627
00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:13,800
Thank you, sweet thing.
628
00:40:14,035 --> 00:40:15,400
But look here, now,
629
00:40:15,470 --> 00:40:18,132
don't you ever lie to
Barry again, you hear me?
630
00:40:18,607 --> 00:40:20,199
'Cause if you do,
631
00:40:20,275 --> 00:40:23,472
I'm gonna have
to remove your genitals
and put them in a shoebox.
632
00:40:23,545 --> 00:40:24,705
You understand?
633
00:40:28,950 --> 00:40:32,943
Yeah. So now
I'm going to tell you
a little secret, Nelson.
634
00:40:34,222 --> 00:40:35,917
(FEELS SO GOOD PLAYING)
635
00:40:35,991 --> 00:40:37,288
(SIGHS)
636
00:40:37,359 --> 00:40:39,987
Boy, I go apeshit
for Chuck Mangione.
637
00:40:42,164 --> 00:40:43,995
But enough small talk.
638
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:46,526
(SIGHS)
639
00:40:48,170 --> 00:40:51,571
You're new here,
so let me tell you
how this shit go.
640
00:41:01,116 --> 00:41:04,779
You see, I own you,
little Pisces.
641
00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:09,451
You are my property,
to do with as I please,
642
00:41:10,425 --> 00:41:14,794
but we don't have
to do everything tonight.
Hell, we got three to five.
643
00:41:15,497 --> 00:41:16,862
So for now
644
00:41:17,766 --> 00:41:22,100
what say you
just give Barry
a little Eskimo kiss?
645
00:41:23,205 --> 00:41:26,140
Eskimo kiss ain't never
hurt nobody, right?
646
00:41:28,109 --> 00:41:29,303
Sorry.
647
00:41:31,346 --> 00:41:32,608
I can't.
648
00:41:32,981 --> 00:41:34,243
Oh, baby.
649
00:41:35,684 --> 00:41:38,312
Don't make me go get
no shoebox, now.
650
00:41:41,223 --> 00:41:44,624
Come on. Eskimo.
651
00:42:01,176 --> 00:42:06,204
MAN 1: Eskimo! Eskimo!
MAN 2: Eskimo! Eskimo!
652
00:42:06,281 --> 00:42:07,805
(WHISTLING)
653
00:42:10,785 --> 00:42:13,583
(LAUGHING)
654
00:42:14,456 --> 00:42:15,514
Oh, come on now.
655
00:42:15,590 --> 00:42:16,887
You didn't think
old Barry was going to
656
00:42:16,958 --> 00:42:19,756
just take advantage
on the first date, did you?
657
00:42:19,828 --> 00:42:21,318
If you did,
658
00:42:22,864 --> 00:42:25,560
then I guess you just
don't know Barry.
659
00:42:27,202 --> 00:42:28,328
No, no.
660
00:42:30,272 --> 00:42:33,469
Prepare to be wooed
661
00:42:35,310 --> 00:42:36,834
by the master.
662
00:42:42,250 --> 00:42:43,649
Hell, yeah.
663
00:42:47,222 --> 00:42:49,087
NELSON:"Dear new pen pal,
664
00:42:49,457 --> 00:42:51,755
"my name isNelson Biederman IV.
665
00:42:51,826 --> 00:42:53,191
"I'm 30 years old,
666
00:42:53,328 --> 00:42:55,922
"and I've been in prisonfor three months.
667
00:42:55,997 --> 00:42:57,191
"In this hell-hole,
668
00:42:57,265 --> 00:42:59,130
"I've had my ass kickedso many times
669
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,259
"my shit hasfootprints in it."
670
00:43:01,336 --> 00:43:04,965
"But you know what?
I think I'm going
to make it.
671
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,667
"At least
I can rest assured
672
00:43:06,741 --> 00:43:08,834
"it can't possibly
get any worse.
673
00:43:09,244 --> 00:43:11,212
"Anyway, thanks for listening.
674
00:43:11,279 --> 00:43:15,113
"I'll have to sign off now,
as someone is pissing on me.
675
00:43:15,183 --> 00:43:17,242
BILLY:"Your new friend, Nelson."
676
00:43:22,691 --> 00:43:27,025
That's a message from Lynard.
He gets out of the hole today.
677
00:43:27,729 --> 00:43:29,754
He can't wait to see you.
678
00:43:30,632 --> 00:43:32,065
Sleep tight.
679
00:43:37,238 --> 00:43:39,297
I'm dead.
Not necessarily.
680
00:43:39,975 --> 00:43:42,136
He might just kick your ass.
681
00:43:43,011 --> 00:43:44,535
Really?
Yeah.
682
00:43:44,813 --> 00:43:46,110
I mean, every day.
683
00:43:46,648 --> 00:43:48,172
For months or years,
684
00:43:49,084 --> 00:43:50,210
till you're dead.
685
00:43:51,519 --> 00:43:54,818
Man, I'm hungry.
You wanna go grab
some lunch, bud?
686
00:43:57,058 --> 00:43:58,821
Dead man walking.
687
00:44:00,295 --> 00:44:02,160
He's not gonna kill me here,
is he?
688
00:44:02,230 --> 00:44:05,631
Oh, no.
All the smart money's
bet on the rec yard.
689
00:44:05,700 --> 00:44:07,895
Wait, people are betting
on when I'm gonna be killed?
690
00:44:07,969 --> 00:44:12,201
Of course.
Prison's a boring place.
They'll bet on anything.
691
00:44:12,273 --> 00:44:13,638
Shanahan's the bank.
692
00:44:13,708 --> 00:44:15,266
Hell, I lost
four cartons of smokes
693
00:44:15,343 --> 00:44:17,573
on how much one of
Jesus' turds weighed.
694
00:44:17,646 --> 00:44:18,772
Look, this is ridiculous.
695
00:44:18,847 --> 00:44:19,871
I'm gonna
go talk to Lynard,
696
00:44:19,948 --> 00:44:22,280
reason with him
as one adult to another,
697
00:44:22,350 --> 00:44:24,910
apologize to him, and put
this entire thing behind us.
698
00:44:24,986 --> 00:44:27,477
I can't see how
you can go wrong.
699
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:30,185
Thanks.
700
00:44:35,597 --> 00:44:38,760
MAN 1:
That's the one over here,
fool. What I'm talking about.
701
00:44:40,502 --> 00:44:41,992
MAN 2: Hey, come on,
hurry it up.
702
00:44:42,337 --> 00:44:43,827
NELSON: Mr. Lynard.
703
00:44:50,412 --> 00:44:51,811
Mr. Lynard,
704
00:44:52,647 --> 00:44:55,081
I know that
we did not start
705
00:44:55,150 --> 00:44:57,084
under the best
of circumstances,
706
00:44:57,152 --> 00:45:01,111
so I just want
to say how sorry I am
for the misunderstanding...
707
00:45:01,389 --> 00:45:02,378
(GRUNTS)
708
00:45:04,526 --> 00:45:05,584
Okay.
709
00:45:07,328 --> 00:45:08,420
Okay.
710
00:45:09,998 --> 00:45:11,625
I deserved that.
711
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,231
I deserved that. I...
712
00:45:21,609 --> 00:45:23,236
Well, we're even.
713
00:45:24,713 --> 00:45:26,578
I have done you wrong,
714
00:45:28,717 --> 00:45:31,550
and twice, you have
stabbed me with forks.
715
00:45:32,187 --> 00:45:36,954
So let's just try to
put this whole thing
behind us
716
00:45:39,627 --> 00:45:42,494
and carry on about
this business of living.
717
00:45:42,564 --> 00:45:43,656
Sit.
718
00:45:44,899 --> 00:45:45,957
Sit.
719
00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:49,799
Well, I should really
get back to my friends.
720
00:45:49,871 --> 00:45:50,963
Sit.
721
00:45:58,913 --> 00:46:01,848
It took a lot of guts
to do what you did.
722
00:46:02,383 --> 00:46:05,011
Nobody's ever stood up
to me before,
723
00:46:05,553 --> 00:46:07,214
except my old man.
724
00:46:09,691 --> 00:46:11,181
I'm sure he's a great man.
725
00:46:11,259 --> 00:46:12,487
I killed him.
726
00:46:14,262 --> 00:46:16,662
I'm gonna kill you
the same way.
727
00:46:20,902 --> 00:46:22,995
You didn't kill him
with kindness? Did you?
728
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,330
With a hammer.
729
00:46:28,777 --> 00:46:30,404
Like the Beatles song.
730
00:46:30,478 --> 00:46:31,467
(CHUCKLES)
731
00:46:32,347 --> 00:46:34,110
Don't scream.
732
00:46:38,319 --> 00:46:41,686
Now, give me
my eating utensil back.
733
00:46:43,258 --> 00:46:45,692
MAN 3: Your mama!
That's what I'm looking at.
734
00:46:55,069 --> 00:46:57,435
Hey, bud, how'd it go?
Super.
735
00:46:58,339 --> 00:47:00,807
All right. So he's not
going to kill you?
736
00:47:01,476 --> 00:47:03,910
No, he is,
just not right now.
737
00:47:10,318 --> 00:47:11,979
Not here, fellas.
738
00:47:12,387 --> 00:47:13,718
Thank you.
739
00:47:13,922 --> 00:47:15,116
Thanks for playing.
740
00:47:24,265 --> 00:47:26,096
(WHISTLING)
741
00:47:33,141 --> 00:47:35,439
Hey, don't sweat it,
compadre.
742
00:47:35,944 --> 00:47:39,072
The way I see it is
you still got three options.
743
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,847
You could kill yourself,
you could fight him,
744
00:47:43,718 --> 00:47:45,151
or you could just
let him kill you,
745
00:47:45,220 --> 00:47:47,984
which honestly might be
your best solution.
746
00:47:53,194 --> 00:47:56,755
Or you could always
move out to the boondocks.
747
00:47:57,232 --> 00:47:59,996
Get a little place
of your own, private cell.
748
00:48:01,336 --> 00:48:02,564
Private cell?
749
00:48:02,704 --> 00:48:04,331
How do I do that?
750
00:48:06,708 --> 00:48:09,142
Well, just stand right here.
Okay?
751
00:48:12,113 --> 00:48:13,239
JOHN: Hey!
752
00:48:13,314 --> 00:48:15,782
MAN 1: Watch it!
MAN 2: That ain't mine.
It's cool.
753
00:48:20,622 --> 00:48:21,646
Hi.
754
00:48:26,961 --> 00:48:27,950
JOHN: When you'realready in jail
755
00:48:28,029 --> 00:48:29,394
and you break the rulesyou think,
756
00:48:29,464 --> 00:48:32,092
"What the hellare they gonna do,throw me in jail?"
757
00:48:32,166 --> 00:48:33,394
The answer's yes.
758
00:48:33,468 --> 00:48:35,459
It's called isolation.The hole.
759
00:48:36,004 --> 00:48:38,199
In the hole,it's impossible totell the difference
760
00:48:38,273 --> 00:48:40,036
between five minutesand forever.
761
00:48:40,108 --> 00:48:41,666
Your mindplays tricks on you,
762
00:48:41,743 --> 00:48:44,610
you get depressed,you get disoriented,
763
00:48:44,679 --> 00:48:46,704
but most folksjust suffer from extreme panic
764
00:48:46,781 --> 00:48:48,715
and vivid,horrifying hallucinations.
765
00:48:48,783 --> 00:48:50,876
(CRYING)
BARKER: Nelson. Nelson.
766
00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:55,015
Who's there?
It's me, Nelson,
Sergeant Barker.
767
00:48:55,256 --> 00:48:57,156
The dog that fights crack.
768
00:48:57,225 --> 00:49:00,558
(CRYING) Please!
Please open the door!
769
00:49:05,133 --> 00:49:06,828
Had enough of yourself
already?
770
00:49:06,901 --> 00:49:08,425
I don't blame you.
Let's go.
771
00:49:08,503 --> 00:49:10,664
How long was I in there?
Two days.
772
00:49:14,509 --> 00:49:17,103
Hey. Look who's back.
773
00:49:17,545 --> 00:49:18,944
How are you, killer?
774
00:49:19,013 --> 00:49:21,538
Nice stubble.
Very Miami Vice.
775
00:49:21,616 --> 00:49:22,674
MAN: Get out of here.
776
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:24,149
Looks good.
777
00:49:26,387 --> 00:49:27,945
JESUS: Looks beautiful.
Looks beautiful.
778
00:49:28,022 --> 00:49:30,047
How you holding up,
Nelson?
779
00:49:32,327 --> 00:49:33,624
I'm not going to make it.
780
00:49:33,695 --> 00:49:34,889
JOHN: What do you mean?
781
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:37,595
You're not thinking about
doing yourself in, are you?
782
00:49:47,442 --> 00:49:49,910
My friend,
I'm all out of smack today,
783
00:49:50,645 --> 00:49:52,579
but you may be in luck.
784
00:49:52,647 --> 00:49:55,115
Because I've got some
very nice alternatives.
785
00:49:55,683 --> 00:49:56,672
Paprika.
786
00:49:57,285 --> 00:49:59,116
That's right. Paprika.
787
00:49:59,187 --> 00:50:02,384
A mere two, three pounds
of this stuff, boom!
To the moon.
788
00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:05,426
Only side effects may be
some mild-to-uncontrollable
shitting.
789
00:50:05,493 --> 00:50:07,188
I need something
that will kill me.
790
00:50:07,261 --> 00:50:08,660
Oh, it's like that.
791
00:50:08,896 --> 00:50:11,194
I don't condone that,
my friend,
792
00:50:11,366 --> 00:50:15,097
but pretty much
any of this shit'll kill you.
793
00:50:17,038 --> 00:50:19,836
Oh yeah, I got old
standard drain cleaner.
794
00:50:22,076 --> 00:50:23,600
Brass cleaner.
795
00:50:25,113 --> 00:50:26,603
(LAUGHING) Oh!
796
00:50:27,115 --> 00:50:28,742
Eureka. Oh, yeah.
797
00:50:29,617 --> 00:50:32,245
This is something
called boat cleaner.
798
00:50:34,455 --> 00:50:37,117
I think it's used
to clean boats with.
799
00:50:38,393 --> 00:50:41,055
Give me the boat cleaner
and a needle.
800
00:50:51,339 --> 00:50:52,931
NELSON: "Dear Pen Pal.
801
00:50:53,074 --> 00:50:56,532
"Well, I'm beaten.It's all over for me.
802
00:50:57,078 --> 00:50:58,511
"I have to dowhatever I have to do
803
00:50:58,579 --> 00:51:00,706
"to get away from the evil,soulless douchebags
804
00:51:00,782 --> 00:51:04,650
"who populate thisfilth-infested shit hole."
805
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,279
"I dream about
lining up the ass-wipes
806
00:51:07,355 --> 00:51:08,788
"who run this place
807
00:51:09,057 --> 00:51:11,218
"and cutting off their dicks.
808
00:51:11,292 --> 00:51:14,557
"Pardon my fucking French.
I guess they win.
809
00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:18,398
"They've made me
into one of them.
810
00:51:19,567 --> 00:51:22,434
"From one vicious
motherfucker to another.
811
00:51:22,670 --> 00:51:26,800
"Good luck with the rest
of the second grade
and stay free.
812
00:51:27,308 --> 00:51:29,538
"Your pal in the pen,
Nelson."
813
00:51:32,246 --> 00:51:34,874
I'm sorry I missed
your letter, Billy.
814
00:51:35,616 --> 00:51:37,982
Okay. Jane, you're next.
815
00:51:44,258 --> 00:51:45,725
(DOOR BUZZING)
816
00:51:51,065 --> 00:51:53,533
Hey, Nelson,
I'm gonna take a quick walk.
817
00:51:54,469 --> 00:51:55,993
See you later.
818
00:52:00,341 --> 00:52:01,603
(CLEARING THROAT)
819
00:52:03,444 --> 00:52:06,242
You know,
it's times like this
820
00:52:06,314 --> 00:52:08,908
when I think
about something
my dad once said to me.
821
00:52:08,983 --> 00:52:11,975
He said, "Oh, God,
please don't kill me
822
00:52:12,053 --> 00:52:14,214
"with the hammer,
Lynard, please."
823
00:52:14,288 --> 00:52:15,380
(LYNARD EXCLAIMING)
824
00:52:15,456 --> 00:52:17,083
Hey!
I don't need any help here.
825
00:52:17,225 --> 00:52:18,954
Back off or you're next.
826
00:52:23,598 --> 00:52:25,532
You're not part coon,
are you?
827
00:52:26,067 --> 00:52:29,298
I'd have a lot more fun
doing this if you were
part coon.
828
00:52:30,404 --> 00:52:31,928
MAN: Hey, let's hold it
down in here.
829
00:52:32,006 --> 00:52:33,303
Sorry, no coon.
830
00:52:34,709 --> 00:52:36,176
Mostly Dutch.
831
00:52:37,445 --> 00:52:42,280
Well, I'm gonna kick you
in the face anyway, I guess.
832
00:52:42,717 --> 00:52:44,651
(GROANING AND GRUNTING)
833
00:52:55,730 --> 00:52:57,095
Ring around the rosy.
834
00:53:11,212 --> 00:53:13,976
LYNARD: Well, hee-haw.
What have we here?
835
00:53:14,048 --> 00:53:15,447
That's mine.
836
00:53:15,816 --> 00:53:18,683
You're holding out
on your old pal Lynard.
837
00:53:18,753 --> 00:53:23,554
No, Lynard, it's not that,
it's... It's my last fix.
838
00:53:25,626 --> 00:53:26,888
Oh, yeah.
839
00:53:27,061 --> 00:53:29,120
Please. Kill me
if you want, Lynard,
840
00:53:29,197 --> 00:53:30,994
but please don't make me
face it sober.
841
00:53:31,065 --> 00:53:32,794
Screw yourself, dickhead.
842
00:53:33,301 --> 00:53:34,825
You don't need this
where you're going.
843
00:53:34,902 --> 00:53:36,961
I'm begging you.
844
00:53:40,975 --> 00:53:42,306
Don't do it.
845
00:53:45,279 --> 00:53:47,474
Don't throw me
into the briar patch.
846
00:53:49,450 --> 00:53:50,712
Do what?
847
00:53:58,526 --> 00:54:01,017
If you weren't such
a white-supremacist asshole,
848
00:54:01,095 --> 00:54:03,461
you would have read up
on your Uncle Remus.
849
00:54:18,879 --> 00:54:20,813
I did what I had to do.
850
00:54:27,188 --> 00:54:30,624
You heard the man.
Back up, boys.
851
00:54:37,231 --> 00:54:39,791
Well, that was pretty
goddamn weird.
852
00:54:40,368 --> 00:54:43,735
You know,
you're gonna get
another 20 years for that.
853
00:54:43,971 --> 00:54:45,962
For what?
I didn't do anything.
854
00:54:46,207 --> 00:54:47,504
He shot himself up.
855
00:54:48,743 --> 00:54:50,870
I got the needle right here.
856
00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:57,239
Fuck.
857
00:55:00,988 --> 00:55:03,183
So the plot fucking thickens.
858
00:55:06,794 --> 00:55:08,421
What did you say?
Hmm?
859
00:55:10,965 --> 00:55:13,399
Nothing.
Did I say that out loud?
860
00:55:31,919 --> 00:55:33,216
Oh shit, John.
861
00:55:33,454 --> 00:55:35,285
They're all staring at me.
What do I do?
862
00:55:35,923 --> 00:55:37,652
Just play it cool, amigo.
863
00:55:40,861 --> 00:55:42,328
Hey, I got
something for you.
864
00:55:42,396 --> 00:55:44,728
No, man, I don't want
any Biederman action.
865
00:55:46,734 --> 00:55:47,928
What do you want?
866
00:55:48,002 --> 00:55:49,970
I just wanted to say
I owe you one.
867
00:55:50,037 --> 00:55:53,768
Lynard was
the kind of dickhead
who gives Nazis a bad name.
868
00:55:53,974 --> 00:55:58,604
So anyway, from now on,
White Kingdom's got your back.
869
00:55:58,813 --> 00:56:00,337
Yeah. Brother.
White Kingdom.
870
00:56:07,955 --> 00:56:10,515
White Kingdom.
MAN: White Kingdom. Yeah.
871
00:56:15,396 --> 00:56:17,455
What the hell is going on?
872
00:56:19,133 --> 00:56:21,533
I think
you're tippy-top dog now.
873
00:56:24,338 --> 00:56:26,806
That's ridiculous.
No one's scared of me.
874
00:56:27,608 --> 00:56:29,200
Well, let's see.
875
00:56:30,010 --> 00:56:31,910
Yo, cueball.
876
00:56:33,447 --> 00:56:36,473
Your fat ass is stinking up
Biederman's seat.
877
00:56:36,584 --> 00:56:37,812
Pop up.
878
00:56:43,023 --> 00:56:45,253
Look, I don't want
no trouble.
879
00:56:47,261 --> 00:56:49,855
Well,
that's good to hear, you...
880
00:56:50,364 --> 00:56:51,888
Pussy.
Pussy.
881
00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:56,368
So are you gonna move
or do my friends have
to move you for me?
882
00:56:56,704 --> 00:56:59,798
Good, because I don't
take no crap from no
883
00:57:01,742 --> 00:57:04,540
Lucian Freud-looking
pussies like you.
884
00:57:07,014 --> 00:57:09,482
MAN: Hey. Get your fingers
out of my plate! You crazy?
885
00:57:11,619 --> 00:57:16,147
Wow. I really, really
can't believe that worked.
886
00:57:19,627 --> 00:57:21,026
(CELL DOOR OPENING)
887
00:57:22,563 --> 00:57:24,053
(DOOR BANGING SHUT)
888
00:57:30,271 --> 00:57:34,799
Of all the bathroom stalls
in all the correctional
facilities in all the world,
889
00:57:39,013 --> 00:57:40,776
he walks into mine.
890
00:57:46,687 --> 00:57:49,019
Haven't you heard the news,
Barry?
891
00:57:49,089 --> 00:57:50,852
The news? Oh, yeah.
892
00:57:52,526 --> 00:57:55,893
Barry finally pitches,
Pisces catches,
893
00:57:57,398 --> 00:57:58,990
home team wins.
894
00:57:59,066 --> 00:58:00,931
(SNICKERING)
895
00:58:02,269 --> 00:58:04,328
Don't even think about it,
Barry.
896
00:58:14,248 --> 00:58:15,909
That hurt, Nelson.
897
00:58:17,017 --> 00:58:18,541
Not physically,
898
00:58:19,220 --> 00:58:20,619
but I thought
we'd gotten past
899
00:58:20,688 --> 00:58:22,349
this point
in our relationship.
900
00:58:22,857 --> 00:58:24,984
What are you talking about?
901
00:58:25,693 --> 00:58:28,127
Well,
over the last few months
902
00:58:28,195 --> 00:58:29,787
I've started to
like you a lot.
903
00:58:30,364 --> 00:58:32,958
Grown accustomed
to your face, if you will.
904
00:58:33,033 --> 00:58:36,298
Thought you felt
the same way,
but I see now.
905
00:58:38,839 --> 00:58:41,171
I've been living
in a fool's paradise.
906
00:58:41,242 --> 00:58:42,709
Look, I should
really get back to...
907
00:58:44,178 --> 00:58:46,112
Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
908
00:58:48,382 --> 00:58:51,112
Is this how you treat
someone you love?
909
00:58:52,086 --> 00:58:54,281
Choking them
in a men's room?
910
00:58:56,924 --> 00:58:57,982
No.
911
00:58:59,193 --> 00:59:00,683
I don't know.
912
00:59:01,729 --> 00:59:02,991
Maybe.
913
00:59:05,032 --> 00:59:06,294
Oh, shit!
914
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:17,436
Maybe I was thinking
you'd forget all about me
915
00:59:17,912 --> 00:59:21,245
if you wasn't scared
I was gonna cut your nuts off.
916
00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:24,483
Maybe behind the facade,
917
00:59:25,286 --> 00:59:27,948
there's just
a scared little boy
918
00:59:28,022 --> 00:59:29,455
who didn't never
get enough love.
919
00:59:37,965 --> 00:59:39,432
Look, Barry...
920
00:59:39,700 --> 00:59:40,689
I never thought...
921
00:59:40,768 --> 00:59:42,235
Oh, just leave me alone.
922
00:59:46,340 --> 00:59:47,398
Go to him.
923
00:59:48,943 --> 00:59:50,240
Go to him.
924
00:59:52,746 --> 00:59:53,872
Barry.
925
01:00:01,922 --> 01:00:03,116
Barry.
926
01:00:03,557 --> 01:00:04,751
Pisces.
927
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:07,759
Get him!
928
01:00:07,828 --> 01:00:09,819
Kick his ass.
Let's go!
929
01:00:11,632 --> 01:00:12,758
Stop!
930
01:00:13,367 --> 01:00:16,564
Did he touch you, boss?
We'll gut him, right here.
931
01:00:16,904 --> 01:00:18,633
(FARTS)
Yes, he touched me.
932
01:00:18,772 --> 01:00:21,434
Sorry. That was me.
Keep going.
933
01:00:22,977 --> 01:00:24,638
But not like that.
934
01:00:27,047 --> 01:00:29,072
I'm giving him
a pass this time.
935
01:00:29,750 --> 01:00:32,241
What are you ladies up to?
936
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,886
You, Lyshitski,
in the hole!
937
01:00:35,956 --> 01:00:38,186
Are you kidding me?
I didn't even do anything.
938
01:00:38,258 --> 01:00:40,522
They're over there.
I'm over here.
939
01:00:40,594 --> 01:00:41,583
Don't you have eyes?
940
01:00:41,662 --> 01:00:43,027
In the hole!
941
01:00:44,465 --> 01:00:45,989
JOHN: The systemis one shifty prick.
942
01:00:46,066 --> 01:00:48,057
You dodge right,it shifts left.
943
01:00:48,135 --> 01:00:51,195
You think you're on top of it,suddenly you're underneath it.
944
01:00:51,639 --> 01:00:53,869
The ass endof the punch-line.
945
01:00:58,946 --> 01:01:02,473
During my retreat,Nelson had becomeking of the crapper,
946
01:01:02,716 --> 01:01:04,547
and nobody seemed to flinch.
947
01:01:09,289 --> 01:01:10,381
Just the opposite.
948
01:01:10,457 --> 01:01:12,516
They're eating up hisfancy-ass rich-boy act
949
01:01:12,593 --> 01:01:14,754
like he was Ben & Jerry'sHeroin Chunk.
950
01:01:14,828 --> 01:01:17,820
So at exactly
the appointed minute
951
01:01:17,898 --> 01:01:21,026
when old LaRoche's
back is turned,
952
01:01:21,735 --> 01:01:24,898
all the boys shoved
their books onto the floor.
953
01:01:24,972 --> 01:01:26,564
(ALL LAUGHING)
954
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,870
Old LaRoche almost
had a heart attack.
955
01:01:28,942 --> 01:01:30,375
He didn't know
what hit him.
956
01:01:32,012 --> 01:01:34,606
Can't wait to see
your grand premiere, baby.
957
01:01:34,682 --> 01:01:36,582
From the tippety,
cocksuckers!
958
01:01:36,817 --> 01:01:38,842
Five, six, seven, eight...
959
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:45,356
(SINGING)
960
01:01:56,570 --> 01:01:59,368
Go, John. Go, John.
961
01:02:01,108 --> 01:02:03,076
(JOHN WHISTLING)
962
01:02:12,553 --> 01:02:13,645
Phillips head.
963
01:02:15,222 --> 01:02:16,553
Hey, John.
Hey.
964
01:02:16,623 --> 01:02:18,557
Didn't see you there.
965
01:02:19,326 --> 01:02:21,521
It's good to see you.
Yeah.
966
01:02:22,329 --> 01:02:24,661
You know,
I've been meaning to
talk to you about something.
967
01:02:24,732 --> 01:02:27,200
What's that?
Remember when
I first got in here?
968
01:02:28,135 --> 01:02:30,330
I had the balls of a souffl�,
I'll be honest with you.
969
01:02:30,404 --> 01:02:33,532
But you changed that, John,
you really did.
Did I?
970
01:02:33,607 --> 01:02:34,631
Yeah.
971
01:02:34,708 --> 01:02:37,472
I owe everything that
I am today to you, John.
I really do.
972
01:02:37,544 --> 01:02:40,240
I mean, you gave me
my self-esteem back.
973
01:02:40,314 --> 01:02:42,248
I've got the love of a man.
Wow, good!
974
01:02:42,316 --> 01:02:43,578
All the things
that you could want.
975
01:02:43,650 --> 01:02:45,777
I found myself and
I just feel like
I really wanna
976
01:02:45,853 --> 01:02:48,083
give you something,
John, I do.
Perfect! Yeah.
977
01:02:48,155 --> 01:02:50,055
Can I get you
some cigarettes?
No. I'm good.
978
01:02:50,124 --> 01:02:54,424
What about porn?
Cigarettes and porn?
No. I'm good.
979
01:02:56,930 --> 01:02:58,989
John, you're the greatest.
980
01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:01,466
I wanna say, from
the bottom of my heart...
Yeah?
981
01:03:01,535 --> 01:03:03,162
Thank you.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
982
01:03:03,337 --> 01:03:04,895
Hey, have some tea.
Hey, thanks.
983
01:03:04,972 --> 01:03:06,872
Made it for you.
Okay.
984
01:03:07,641 --> 01:03:09,404
All right, have fun.
985
01:03:12,813 --> 01:03:14,075
Come on!
986
01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:17,649
JOHN: How did this happen?
987
01:03:17,718 --> 01:03:20,448
A few months ago,I had his balls in a vise.
988
01:03:20,521 --> 01:03:22,955
Now with his parole hearingjust around the bend,
989
01:03:23,023 --> 01:03:26,584
it looks like he mightbe taking his ballsand going home.
990
01:03:34,668 --> 01:03:37,501
Hold still.
You got to look
good for court.
991
01:03:39,773 --> 01:03:41,263
There you go.
992
01:03:43,510 --> 01:03:45,205
You wanna go out tonight?
993
01:03:45,279 --> 01:03:46,712
Me and some of the guys
were thinking about
994
01:03:46,780 --> 01:03:48,304
going down
to the laundry room,
995
01:03:48,382 --> 01:03:49,974
drinking some
toilet wine,
996
01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:51,948
and beating up
some of the new guys.
997
01:03:53,220 --> 01:03:57,156
Or we could just stay in
and drink toilet wine here.
998
01:03:58,959 --> 01:04:00,927
We never go out anymore.
999
01:04:17,477 --> 01:04:20,275
Well, I've got to
hand it to you, buddy.
1000
01:04:20,347 --> 01:04:23,282
You're a bigger man
than I thought you were.
1001
01:04:24,117 --> 01:04:25,243
They beat you up,
1002
01:04:25,419 --> 01:04:27,148
they robbed you
of your dignity,
1003
01:04:27,221 --> 01:04:28,711
they pissed in your food,
1004
01:04:29,256 --> 01:04:30,621
but they didn't break you.
1005
01:04:30,691 --> 01:04:33,524
And with the
revolving-door policy
of today's prison system,
1006
01:04:34,094 --> 01:04:35,686
you're probably gonna
get paroled tomorrow.
1007
01:04:37,130 --> 01:04:38,722
They pissed in my food?
1008
01:04:38,799 --> 01:04:40,198
What difference
does it make?
1009
01:04:40,834 --> 01:04:43,701
You're getting out tomorrow
and I'm proud of you.
1010
01:04:43,770 --> 01:04:45,328
Really?
Really.
1011
01:04:45,405 --> 01:04:47,965
In fact,
I snuck you in
a going-away present.
1012
01:04:49,610 --> 01:04:52,841
Good luck at your hearing.
I'll see you in 1-to-3.
1013
01:04:54,681 --> 01:04:56,080
Thank you, John.
Okay.
1014
01:04:56,149 --> 01:04:59,243
Couldn't have made it
in here without your help.
1015
01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:06,326
Why is it
already opened?
1016
01:05:06,393 --> 01:05:08,418
I opened it for you.
What for?
1017
01:05:10,998 --> 01:05:12,465
'Cause I'm a great guy
1018
01:05:12,532 --> 01:05:16,127
and I know
you had a real tough day.
1019
01:05:24,544 --> 01:05:26,011
You don't trust me?
1020
01:05:26,980 --> 01:05:28,470
After all
we've been through?
1021
01:05:28,548 --> 01:05:30,413
One friend can't give
another friend a soda
1022
01:05:30,484 --> 01:05:31,576
without that friend
thinking
1023
01:05:31,652 --> 01:05:33,381
the second friend
put a roofie in it?
1024
01:05:33,987 --> 01:05:36,182
Wow.
Well, that hurts, pal.
1025
01:05:37,090 --> 01:05:38,079
That hurts.
1026
01:05:39,626 --> 01:05:42,117
I've been
looking out for you
for almost a year now,
1027
01:05:42,195 --> 01:05:45,631
and then I bust my nuts
getting you
this goddamn fruity soda
1028
01:05:45,699 --> 01:05:48,099
and you think
I'm up to something?
1029
01:05:48,702 --> 01:05:50,533
Well, screw you, pal.
1030
01:05:51,605 --> 01:05:53,334
I thought we were friends.
1031
01:06:01,648 --> 01:06:02,979
I'm sorry, John.
1032
01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:05,908
God, this place
has really done
a number on me.
1033
01:06:05,986 --> 01:06:07,180
It has.
1034
01:06:08,121 --> 01:06:09,645
We are friends.
1035
01:06:10,757 --> 01:06:13,624
In fact, you might be
the best friend I've ever had.
1036
01:06:14,828 --> 01:06:17,956
That's it. Get it all.
Go for it.
1037
01:06:22,502 --> 01:06:24,367
The taste of freedom.
1038
01:06:25,639 --> 01:06:28,938
Oh, John, what would
this world be like without...
1039
01:06:32,079 --> 01:06:33,603
(RETCHING)
1040
01:06:37,217 --> 01:06:40,709
All right,
maestro, come on,
let's get him out of here.
1041
01:06:41,822 --> 01:06:44,086
We got to
put his new face on.
1042
01:06:51,665 --> 01:06:54,566
Wake up, Biederman.
Parole board's waiting.
1043
01:06:59,606 --> 01:07:00,868
Let's go.
1044
01:07:02,642 --> 01:07:04,007
So, Mr. Biederman,
1045
01:07:04,478 --> 01:07:06,844
do you feel you're ready
to re-enter society?
1046
01:07:07,848 --> 01:07:09,042
Absolutely.
1047
01:07:09,416 --> 01:07:11,316
Prison's made me a new man.
1048
01:07:12,152 --> 01:07:13,449
When I get out of here,
1049
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:17,581
I intend to stand up
for what I know is right.
1050
01:07:18,558 --> 01:07:21,391
JOHN: When the parole boardgets through with der F�hrer,
1051
01:07:21,461 --> 01:07:23,326
two thingsare going to happen.
1052
01:07:23,397 --> 01:07:26,264
One, they're gonna filehis early release form
1053
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:28,801
right in betweenCharles Mansonand the Unabomber's.
1054
01:07:31,471 --> 01:07:35,737
And two,Nelson's going tobe pissed as hell at me.
1055
01:07:41,615 --> 01:07:43,139
Why'd you do it, John?
1056
01:07:43,216 --> 01:07:45,343
Amigo, I did it
for your own good.
1057
01:07:45,986 --> 01:07:48,682
Now hear me out
on this one, all right?
1058
01:07:50,023 --> 01:07:53,220
Listen, you got to sandbag
your first parole hearing,
because...
1059
01:08:01,768 --> 01:08:05,204
Okay, you want to know why?
I knew your dad.
1060
01:08:05,272 --> 01:08:07,900
What?
Yeah. The judge.
1061
01:08:08,341 --> 01:08:10,866
The man who made me
who I am today.
1062
01:08:11,545 --> 01:08:14,309
The same man who's going
to kill you right now.
1063
01:08:14,381 --> 01:08:15,871
What would you call that?
1064
01:08:15,949 --> 01:08:18,747
I'd call that pretty crazy,
isn't it?
1065
01:08:19,486 --> 01:08:22,284
No! It's ironic!
1066
01:08:27,327 --> 01:08:29,921
The word you want
is "ironic"!
1067
01:08:29,996 --> 01:08:30,985
(SCREAMS)
1068
01:08:33,066 --> 01:08:36,627
All right, cut the shit!
Get up, you mothers.
Get up, get up now!
1069
01:08:36,703 --> 01:08:38,500
Get him up against the wall!
Go, go, go!
1070
01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:40,699
(TASER GUNS BUZZING)
Get up! Get up!
1071
01:08:42,008 --> 01:08:44,033
You two pussies
gonna have a cage match
1072
01:08:44,111 --> 01:08:46,102
and I don't even
get an invitation?
1073
01:08:46,179 --> 01:08:47,976
Wow, that's selfish.
1074
01:08:49,015 --> 01:08:50,539
That's selfish.
1075
01:08:52,152 --> 01:08:55,849
'Cause goddamn it,
I want a front-row seat
to that catfight.
1076
01:08:58,024 --> 01:09:01,323
You two want to
kill each other?
Great, stupendous.
1077
01:09:01,495 --> 01:09:05,693
Save everybody else
around here the hassle.
But this is my prison.
1078
01:09:07,501 --> 01:09:10,436
I schedule the
extra-curricular activities.
1079
01:09:12,506 --> 01:09:14,736
And if you two
are going to fight,
1080
01:09:16,409 --> 01:09:19,037
I need some time
to get some action going.
1081
01:09:19,412 --> 01:09:21,642
So, how's...
1082
01:09:23,450 --> 01:09:27,443
How's Friday sound, huh?
Friday good? Say, rec yard?
1083
01:09:29,189 --> 01:09:31,089
Fight to the death?
1084
01:09:32,192 --> 01:09:34,319
Does that work for
you two dickheads?
1085
01:09:34,394 --> 01:09:35,759
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1086
01:09:35,829 --> 01:09:37,626
Sounds like a yes to me.
1087
01:09:38,532 --> 01:09:40,227
Sounds like a yes.
1088
01:09:44,771 --> 01:09:45,897
Wait.
1089
01:09:49,142 --> 01:09:51,076
What do I win if I win?
1090
01:09:51,711 --> 01:09:54,612
If you lose, you die.
If you win, you die.
1091
01:09:54,948 --> 01:09:57,678
The difference is
I kill the winner.
It'll be quick.
1092
01:10:07,460 --> 01:10:09,223
JOHN: In one year,I've proven that the machine
1093
01:10:09,296 --> 01:10:12,390
can warp a law-abiding,spineless sack of shitlike Biederman
1094
01:10:12,465 --> 01:10:16,128
into a totally violent,psychopathic and lethalsack of shit.
1095
01:10:16,203 --> 01:10:20,139
The only flaw in my plan wasnow I'm locked in a cagewith him.
1096
01:10:21,141 --> 01:10:24,508
Friday, the yard.
John versus Nelson.
Fight to the death.
1097
01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:28,174
Yeah, fight's gonna
takes place on the cistern.
1098
01:10:28,248 --> 01:10:29,545
Uh-huh.
1099
01:10:29,616 --> 01:10:32,380
That's awesome.
Hey, how much does
brain damage pay?
1100
01:10:32,485 --> 01:10:34,612
GUARD: Brain damage?I don't know.
1101
01:10:34,688 --> 01:10:36,986
You gotta ask Shanahan.He's taking the bets.
1102
01:10:39,192 --> 01:10:42,958
I'll put two cartons
on Richie Rich
taking Lyshitski down.
1103
01:10:43,029 --> 01:10:44,462
And this, too, fool.
1104
01:10:44,864 --> 01:10:48,732
Brain damage, three to two,
ear bit off, even money,
1105
01:10:48,802 --> 01:10:51,066
ear cut off, seven to five.
1106
01:10:51,137 --> 01:10:52,764
Damn,
you can cover
all that action?
1107
01:10:52,839 --> 01:10:53,863
Sure.
1108
01:10:53,940 --> 01:10:56,340
Only took me a second
to get the cash.
1109
01:10:56,943 --> 01:10:58,137
Second mortgage.
1110
01:11:16,696 --> 01:11:17,685
(WHISTLES)
1111
01:11:18,498 --> 01:11:20,728
Biederman,
you got a visitor!
1112
01:11:28,341 --> 01:11:29,330
(TASER GUN BUZZING)
1113
01:11:29,409 --> 01:11:30,398
(SCREAMS)
1114
01:11:32,545 --> 01:11:35,571
You're really getting
liberal with the Taser.
1115
01:11:36,650 --> 01:11:40,450
Congratulations, Barry.
I'm glad they let you out.
1116
01:11:40,954 --> 01:11:45,084
Parole board say
I seem like a new man.
1117
01:11:46,493 --> 01:11:49,087
I told them it was
all because of you.
1118
01:11:55,235 --> 01:11:56,395
Baby,
1119
01:11:58,571 --> 01:12:01,802
you the Ashford
to my Simpson.
1120
01:12:02,509 --> 01:12:04,636
The Peaches to my Herb.
1121
01:12:06,246 --> 01:12:08,578
The Shields to my Yarnell.
1122
01:12:10,583 --> 01:12:11,607
(SHUSHING)
1123
01:12:11,685 --> 01:12:15,587
Barry, you should be happy.
Barry, you're free.
1124
01:12:15,655 --> 01:12:18,556
You know
I can't be happy
without you, baby.
1125
01:12:19,192 --> 01:12:22,184
I was just thinking
about going postal over
at the Popeye's Chicken
1126
01:12:22,262 --> 01:12:26,221
so I can get locked
back up in here with
my sweet little Pisces.
1127
01:12:29,502 --> 01:12:31,129
I got to get you out.
1128
01:12:31,204 --> 01:12:33,297
That's very kind of you,
Barry,
1129
01:12:33,373 --> 01:12:35,136
but you've got
to listen to me.
1130
01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:37,976
The only way that
I'm getting out of here
is in a body bag.
1131
01:12:38,044 --> 01:12:40,569
It had better be a body bag
for two, goddamn it,
1132
01:12:40,647 --> 01:12:43,673
'cause I wanna be sewn
right in there with your ass.
1133
01:12:44,617 --> 01:12:46,642
That's very sweet, Barry.
1134
01:12:47,754 --> 01:12:50,587
I wish
there were something
I could do for you.
1135
01:12:50,657 --> 01:12:53,820
You're the closest thing
to family I've ever had.
1136
01:12:56,363 --> 01:12:57,660
Family...
1137
01:13:01,735 --> 01:13:05,136
Actually, Barry,
there is something
I can do for you.
1138
01:13:08,241 --> 01:13:09,435
Damn it.
1139
01:13:11,878 --> 01:13:12,936
Damn it!
1140
01:13:13,012 --> 01:13:15,640
WOMAN: Mr. Hinkley, you havea telephone call on line one
1141
01:13:15,715 --> 01:13:17,512
and there's a gentlemanhere to see you.
1142
01:13:17,851 --> 01:13:19,216
He doesn'thave an appointment.
1143
01:13:19,285 --> 01:13:21,913
Well, tell him to wait.
Hello.
1144
01:13:21,988 --> 01:13:23,580
NELSON: Hello, Duane.
1145
01:13:23,656 --> 01:13:27,422
Nelson, is that you?
You allowed to make
phone calls now?
1146
01:13:27,494 --> 01:13:30,827
Only to my lawyer.I want out. Now.
1147
01:13:30,897 --> 01:13:32,125
I'm sorry, sir.
1148
01:13:32,198 --> 01:13:33,529
There's nothing we can do.
1149
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:34,999
Our hands are tied.
1150
01:13:35,068 --> 01:13:37,036
Well, in that case,I'll just have toturn control
1151
01:13:37,103 --> 01:13:39,298
of the Foundationover to my son
1152
01:13:39,372 --> 01:13:41,806
and, in accordance withthe Foundation's charter,
1153
01:13:41,875 --> 01:13:43,866
he'll be the one runningthings for me until I'm out.
1154
01:13:43,943 --> 01:13:46,844
I'm sorry,
did you say your son?
1155
01:13:46,913 --> 01:13:50,144
Oh, I adopted a young manI met in prison. He's out now.
1156
01:13:50,216 --> 01:13:52,275
Everything's niceand legal, Duane.
1157
01:13:52,352 --> 01:13:54,115
I thinkyou'll enjoy working for him.
1158
01:13:54,187 --> 01:13:56,178
He's a real sweetheart.
1159
01:13:56,256 --> 01:13:57,655
(BANGING ON DOOR)
1160
01:14:00,260 --> 01:14:02,854
What the hell are you doing
in my office, biatch?
1161
01:14:16,009 --> 01:14:19,240
Mr. Shanahan.
Sir.
1162
01:14:22,515 --> 01:14:25,746
If you have knowledge
of anything untoward
1163
01:14:25,819 --> 01:14:28,583
happening amongst
the inmate population,
1164
01:14:29,189 --> 01:14:32,989
I will not hesitate
to put your ass in a grinder!
1165
01:14:36,463 --> 01:14:37,657
(CLEARING THROAT)
1166
01:14:47,006 --> 01:14:49,133
I'm just tugging
your nuts.
1167
01:14:50,210 --> 01:14:51,302
(ALL LAUGHING)
Oh.
1168
01:14:51,511 --> 01:14:54,537
Give me 50 bucks
on that preppy asshole.
1169
01:14:54,614 --> 01:14:59,574
Oh, Warden, that is
my sense of humor
right there, Warden.
1170
01:14:59,652 --> 01:15:01,176
(INMATES CLAMORING)
1171
01:15:41,661 --> 01:15:44,323
All right!
You both know the rules!
1172
01:15:44,631 --> 01:15:48,032
Whoever dies first loses!
1173
01:15:50,103 --> 01:15:52,196
CROWD: Nelson! Nelson!
Nelson! Nelson!
1174
01:16:02,682 --> 01:16:04,547
MAN 1: Get your ass up!
MAN 2: Get him!
1175
01:16:04,617 --> 01:16:06,676
Get him, man!
1176
01:16:12,091 --> 01:16:14,457
Laotian-style.
Yeah?
1177
01:16:14,527 --> 01:16:17,018
I like Cambodian rules.
1178
01:16:28,875 --> 01:16:30,206
(GRUNTING)
1179
01:16:35,281 --> 01:16:37,476
Wow, that is so cool.
1180
01:16:37,550 --> 01:16:38,812
I saw a dress made
out of credit cards
1181
01:16:38,885 --> 01:16:40,512
in Vanity Fair
a couple of years ago.
1182
01:16:40,587 --> 01:16:41,781
That's what
gave me the idea.
1183
01:16:41,854 --> 01:16:44,414
I like it.
I got one for you.
1184
01:16:44,691 --> 01:16:45,851
(SCREAMING)
1185
01:16:46,359 --> 01:16:49,055
What is that?
Industrial disinfectant.
1186
01:16:49,729 --> 01:16:52,391
They got a shit load
in the workroom.
1187
01:17:02,141 --> 01:17:04,234
See you in hell, Lyshitski!
1188
01:17:05,144 --> 01:17:06,668
You bet, bud.
1189
01:17:19,659 --> 01:17:21,320
Don't do it, John.
1190
01:17:22,228 --> 01:17:24,059
I won't if you won't.
1191
01:17:28,735 --> 01:17:32,068
You know, you taught me
a lot of things, John.
1192
01:17:32,138 --> 01:17:34,663
The most important thing
you taught me,
1193
01:17:36,476 --> 01:17:38,444
never trust anybody.
1194
01:18:02,435 --> 01:18:05,097
All right, ladies,
we're on lockdown!
1195
01:18:22,455 --> 01:18:23,615
Dead.
1196
01:18:23,690 --> 01:18:27,387
All right,
get them out of here
before they start stinking.
1197
01:18:45,978 --> 01:18:48,503
DUANE: Here's the rest
of the necessary paperwork.
1198
01:18:48,581 --> 01:18:50,310
As Mr. Biederman's only heir,
1199
01:18:50,383 --> 01:18:52,283
you're entitled
to the entire trust.
1200
01:18:52,919 --> 01:18:55,911
Well,
money can't fix
a broken heart.
1201
01:18:55,988 --> 01:18:58,218
Okay.
Well, it's $8 million.
1202
01:18:59,992 --> 01:19:03,223
Well, I guess
that will take out
a little of the sting.
1203
01:19:32,325 --> 01:19:33,690
(GASPING)
1204
01:19:35,328 --> 01:19:38,388
The only way that
I'm getting out of here
is in a body bag.
1205
01:19:38,464 --> 01:19:42,992
Pigeon saliva
mixed with bat guano,
and tar as an emulsifier.
1206
01:19:43,202 --> 01:19:44,726
It won't kill you,
my friend,
1207
01:19:45,037 --> 01:19:46,527
but it will put you
in a stupor.
1208
01:19:46,606 --> 01:19:49,575
More of a coma, really.
Up to three days.
1209
01:19:51,778 --> 01:19:53,370
Trust me,
that'll do the trick.
1210
01:20:08,227 --> 01:20:09,626
What took you so long?
1211
01:20:09,695 --> 01:20:11,162
Hey, come on.
Give me a break, baby.
1212
01:20:11,230 --> 01:20:13,926
I had to wait for all those
white people to leave.
1213
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:14,989
All right.
1214
01:20:17,770 --> 01:20:21,171
Let's go.
Hey, wait a minute now.
Deal's a deal.
1215
01:20:25,411 --> 01:20:28,505
If you lose, you die.
If you win, you die.
1216
01:20:28,581 --> 01:20:31,516
The difference is
I kill the winner.
It'll be quick.
1217
01:20:33,753 --> 01:20:35,584
We're fucked.
We got to work together.
1218
01:20:35,655 --> 01:20:37,088
Okay, but don't fuck me
on this one.
1219
01:20:39,926 --> 01:20:41,951
Yeah. Trust me,
that'll do the trick.
1220
01:20:42,929 --> 01:20:44,829
Thanks, amigo.
1221
01:20:49,235 --> 01:20:51,396
Well, hold on,
now, baby duck,
1222
01:20:52,104 --> 01:20:54,095
there is such a thing
as karma.
1223
01:20:54,607 --> 01:20:56,165
We don't want to get
on the wrong side of that.
1224
01:20:56,242 --> 01:20:58,802
We got the rest
of our lives to live.
1225
01:21:00,613 --> 01:21:02,274
I don't think so.
1226
01:21:02,682 --> 01:21:04,673
Hey, wait a minute, now.
1227
01:21:05,484 --> 01:21:08,920
If it wasn't for this asshole,
we would've never met.
1228
01:21:21,434 --> 01:21:22,423
(GRUNTS)
1229
01:21:24,270 --> 01:21:25,794
Oh, thank God.
1230
01:21:26,038 --> 01:21:28,905
I got to drop a deuce
like no one's business.
1231
01:21:28,975 --> 01:21:30,806
All right,
so that's it, John.
1232
01:21:31,143 --> 01:21:32,940
We're even. All right?
1233
01:21:33,412 --> 01:21:34,640
Yeah.
1234
01:21:38,951 --> 01:21:40,248
Let's go, Barry.
1235
01:21:43,823 --> 01:21:46,417
JOHN: You know, there aren'ta shit load of prison stories
1236
01:21:46,492 --> 01:21:48,221
you'd wanna tellyour grandkids,
1237
01:21:48,294 --> 01:21:51,457
but this one definitelyfalls into that category.
1238
01:21:51,597 --> 01:21:54,498
Hey,
you think I could
grab a ride from you guys?
1239
01:21:55,368 --> 01:21:56,892
(LAUGHING)
1240
01:21:59,338 --> 01:22:01,363
Can you believe this guy?
1241
01:22:05,311 --> 01:22:06,505
(SIGHS)
1242
01:22:14,020 --> 01:22:15,885
NELSON: Well, Barry and I
1243
01:22:15,955 --> 01:22:18,321
are big fans
of Wine Aficionado magazine
1244
01:22:18,391 --> 01:22:22,487
and I have to confess
that we are very eager
to hear your opinion.
1245
01:22:22,728 --> 01:22:24,958
Be careful for what
you wish for, gentlemen.
1246
01:22:30,136 --> 01:22:32,604
That first sniff
unlocks the door.
1247
01:22:33,372 --> 01:22:36,273
Oh, and that second sniff
invites you in, sits you down,
1248
01:22:36,342 --> 01:22:37,900
and gives you
a foot massage.
1249
01:22:37,977 --> 01:22:39,467
Watch yourself.
1250
01:22:39,645 --> 01:22:41,476
What is it that I detect?
1251
01:22:41,547 --> 01:22:45,210
A trace of ammonia
or some other sort
of disinfectant?
1252
01:22:45,284 --> 01:22:47,411
No, it's ammonia.
1253
01:22:48,220 --> 01:22:50,848
I see. Well, then
I'm done with it.
1254
01:22:52,158 --> 01:22:54,626
You haven't even
tasted it yet.
Precisely.
1255
01:22:55,361 --> 01:22:56,851
Well, at least
let us introduce you
1256
01:22:56,929 --> 01:22:58,692
to our head vintner.
He came up with...
1257
01:22:58,764 --> 01:23:03,292
Gentlemen, I don't
need to taste your wine
nor meet your head vintner
1258
01:23:03,369 --> 01:23:04,893
to confidently proclaim
1259
01:23:04,971 --> 01:23:07,531
that this wine
is a piece of shit...
1260
01:23:07,606 --> 01:23:09,631
A little piece of heaven?
1261
01:23:10,176 --> 01:23:11,871
Ken Kennedy, head vintner.
1262
01:23:12,845 --> 01:23:14,210
See,
we're a family here
1263
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:16,973
and our grapes
are a part of that family.
1264
01:23:17,283 --> 01:23:19,774
And they know that
we'd do anything for them.
1265
01:23:19,852 --> 01:23:22,821
For instance,
if some outsider,
1266
01:23:22,888 --> 01:23:25,823
say, some shit-eating
fruit fly were to come in here
1267
01:23:25,891 --> 01:23:28,451
and mess with them
in any way whatsoever,
1268
01:23:28,527 --> 01:23:30,620
we, and by "we" I mean
1269
01:23:30,696 --> 01:23:33,290
me and my brothers
over there,
1270
01:23:36,802 --> 01:23:38,861
would stop at nothing
to protect them,
1271
01:23:39,271 --> 01:23:40,738
and they know that.
1272
01:23:42,041 --> 01:23:43,508
So that is why I think
1273
01:23:43,576 --> 01:23:45,669
you're gonna score
Baby Duck wine 100 out of 100
1274
01:23:45,745 --> 01:23:47,337
on your next review.
1275
01:23:47,413 --> 01:23:50,314
Because you can taste
the love in every sip.
1276
01:23:50,816 --> 01:23:51,805
Okay?
1277
01:23:53,119 --> 01:23:54,814
Yes, I...
1278
01:23:54,887 --> 01:23:57,014
Of course. 100 it is.
1279
01:23:57,656 --> 01:24:00,284
Do you hear that?
BARRY: Drink up, bitches.
1280
01:24:11,404 --> 01:24:12,393
(GAGGING)
1281
01:24:15,007 --> 01:24:17,840
Goddamn,
is that sweet.
1282
01:24:21,881 --> 01:24:23,280
(MOVE THIS PLAYING)
1283
01:24:23,349 --> 01:24:24,646
(SINGING)
1284
01:25:04,290 --> 01:25:05,552
Come on!
1285
01:25:27,980 --> 01:25:29,504
Come on, John.
1286
01:26:27,273 --> 01:26:29,207
John, isn't this great?
1287
01:26:29,975 --> 01:26:32,569
Shake that body
for me, Johnny.
1288
01:26:33,846 --> 01:26:35,473
Come on, Lyshitski.
1289
01:26:45,257 --> 01:26:47,418
(MELLOW SONG PLAYING)
1290
01:27:43,716 --> 01:27:45,650
(FUNKY POP SONG PLAYING)
1291
01:28:37,069 --> 01:28:39,230
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
98099
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