All language subtitles for The.Sex.Lives.of.College.Girls.S02E08.WEBRip.x264-ION10-English

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

- Hello,
my favorite freshthems.

Tomorrow is the start
of Pre-Frosh Weekend,

where newly accepted students
visit to get their first taste

of the Essex experience.

- How exciting.
I'll never forget

my Pre-Frosh Weekend.

My host was so fun.

But she got really drunk,

and I had to watch them
pump her stomach.

Oh!
And I tried Thai food

for the first time.

Not for me.

- If any of you are hosting

potential new students,

please be
responsible with them.

- FYI, we are hosting one.

- Wait, we are?
- Yeah, it's my friend

from back home.
Her name's Priya.

She's a sweet Indian nerd.

I just sent an old pic
of us to our thread.

[phones dinging]

[phone honks]
- [gasps]

- Oh, wow.

- Damn, no one zoom in.
It made me sad.

- Bela, for your well-being,

don't send photos like that.

- Okay, fine,
but everyone be nice to Priya.

She always
looked up to me like I was

her way-cooler big sister.

- Aw.
- And you were cooler than her

when this photo was taken?

- Clearly.
- Mm.

- So nobody
make a big thing about this,

but my dad texted me
saying that he's bringing up

my cousin to campus
for Pre-Frosh Weekend,

and I have decided
to come out to him.

- You are?
[all exclaim]

- That's awesome.

- Yeah, I'm ready.
It's time.

- Maybe you can do it
in a fun way.

My cousin proposed using
a nursing home flash mob.

It was slow, but moving.

- Yeah, I think
I'm just gonna tell him

with words.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- I'm just sick
of keeping this a secret.

- I also have a secret.

- Oh, my God!
You're gay too!

- What?
No.

- Oh.
- No, I had sex with Andrew.

- What?
- You did?

- The bio bro?
- Wait, don't you two, like,

hate each other?
- Yes, he's insufferable.

But also, he has, like,
secret surprise arm muscles.

- Ooh...

- But it was a one-time thing.

Sleeping with my lab partner
is way too complicated.

[knock at door]
- Okay, oh, my God,

that's Priya.

Everyone,
stop talking about sex.

Her dorky, little ears
cannot handle that.

Talk about Microsoft Excel.

- Bela!
- Priya?

- It's so good to see you!

- Wow!
Uh,

I didn't even recognize you.

You got hot and grew boobs.

- Mm. Mm-mm.
- Come in!

- ♪ I run the show,
my chest be big, yo ♪

♪ We run the streets
from west to east coast ♪

♪ I'm a really big deal ♪

- I'm so excited
you got into Essex.

Here's the place I knew
you'd wanna visit first--

the library.
- Stop.

Your friends are gonna think
I'm an epic loser.

- One summer, Priya
spent so much time reading

that she got something
called juvenile hunchback.

She had to wear a brace.
- I made it look cool.

- You're gonna love Essex.

It's like the best place
in the world.

- I'm so excited to be here.

This is actually my first night
ever away from home.

- Aw.

- Right, you weren't allowed

to do anything in high school.

We had to have all

our sleepovers at your house.

Remember that time you got your

braces caught in a knit blanket

and you cried so hard

that you barfed?
- I don't think

we need to tell
your friends that story.

I'm gonna go peek
inside the building.

- Yeah.

- She seems great.
- No, agreed.

She's so cool.
- Wait,

even you think she's cool?
- Oh, my God, yeah.

I mean, she has great style,
gorgeous hair,

a well-curated but effortless
social media vibe.

She's cool as hell.

- Huh, took you months
to call me cool.

- I called you "cool"?

I don't think I ever said that.

- Weird, I feel like
you say it a lot.

[upbeat electronic music]

- Ooh, Kimberly,
here comes Jackson.

- [gasps]
How do I look?

- Who cares?
What about me?

- Hey, I'd like to order
a coffee Kimberly-style.

- What's Kimberly style?

- [whispers] Extra hot.
- Oh, wow.

- Damn.
- [chuckles]

We actually do have to serve

all our coffee at
a standard temperature,

because
of a recent lawsuit though.

- That's okay.
Just came by

to say a quick hello
before class.

I'll see you later.

- Bye.

[squeals]
- So you still hangin' out

with the action figure, huh?
- Leave her alone.

I'm proud of our girl.
She loves herself a hot boy.

- What does that mean?
- First, Nico.

Now, Farmer Long John.

You go for
the ripped, big hotties.

- Not just 'cause they're hot.
- Oh, please.

- You work this whole
Ruth Bader Ginsburg angle,

but you like the hot guy.

It's okay to be
a little shallow.

- I'm not shallow.
- [laughs] It's fine.

I love it when people
only like me for my looks.

It happens very frequently.

- Okay, name one thing you have
in common with that guy.

- Uh, we both...

are born during winter months.

- [laughs]
- Ah.

- That's a bad answer.

- Okay, so maybe I don't know
what we have in common yet.

But I'll find it, all right?

- Whoa.
- Whew.

- Okay.
- Okay, it's getting

pretty heated.

I suggest
everyone take an unpaid five.

Unpaid five!

I am such a great manager.

[upbeat music]

- God, I love this campus!

It's so nice up here.

- I'm really glad
we got a chance to catch up.

- It's just your mom and I
are going through a bit

of a hard time right now,

the whole thing
with your brother,

you know?
- Yeah.

- And then her charity is being
investigated by the D.A.,

so she could be
in a lot of trouble, you know?

And I'm not going down
for that, you know?

I won't.
And then, also,

please don't tell
anybody about this,

but her Japanese hair
transplant didn't take,

and so she's got
a tiny bald spot.

But act like
you don't notice it.

- That's a lot.
- It is a lot.

It is a lot.
- Yeah.

- But that's why
I'm happy to be here.

So what's going on with you?

- Me?
Pff.

Nothing.

Really nothing.
- Nothing?

- No, no, nothing.
[laughs] You know,

just the same old stuff.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Andrew.

I think we need to talk

about the other day.

- Yeah, I've been thinking,
and we shouldn't hook up again.

It's just not worth it for me.
[slurps]

- Wait, you're saying sleeping
with me isn't worth it for you?

- Yeah.
- Do you not see

how much hotter than you I am?

- Listen, I did the math,
and I'm 3% more productive

without you as a distraction.

- What's so distracting
about me?

- Well, for one,
you're wearing

a skirt to the lab

when all legs should be covered

in case of chemical spillage.

But instead, you're...

- A distraction?

[romantic music]

Damn it.

♪ ♪

- I wouldn't say
I'm a campus celebrity,

but sure,
I guess other people might.

- Hey, you're Priya, right?
- Yeah.

- I'm Graham.

- Hi, Graham.
- Oh, like the cracker--

motherfucker.
- Shit, I'm sorry.

I didn't even see you there--

didn't even register
there was another person here.

A bunch of us are planning
a party in the woods,

like a fire and stuff,
if you wanna come.

- Wow, um, yeah, I've never been
to a party like that before.

It sounds super fun.
Can my friend come?

- Oh, is this your friend?

I thought she was

your accountant or something.

But if it means
you'll be there,

sure, bring her.
- Actually,

we already have plans.

- Sorry--we do?

- Yeah, our dorm is hosting

a big floor party.

It's gonna be huge!
You didn't think

I'd invite you to campus
and not show you

how hard we kick it, did you?
- [laughs] Okay.

I'm sorry.
- It's all good.

[pop music]

- Yeah, boys invite me
to parties all the time.

I can barely keep track
of all the invites.

We're throwing a party tonight,
and it has to be good.

- But I already had plans
to finish my vision board.

I finally found a picture
of AOC playing chess.

- Well,
you can forget about that,

because we need
to show Priya how cool I am

by throwing a rager.

- Wait, where is Priya?
- At a Pre-Frosh event,

which gives us time
to get this place in order.

- Wait, why are you stressed?

Doesn't Priya, like,
look up to you or something?

- Oh, she used to,
before her face cleared up

and she grew perfect tits
and amazing peach ass.

- Is she old enough for you to
be talking about her like that?

- A cute guy just hit on her
in front of me

and made it clear I gave him
absolutely no boner.

It's like the student
has become the teacher.

- Isn't that a good thing?

Isn't that
what the teacher wants?

- No.
Teachers want their students

to fall in love with them

and worship them forever.

- No...
- I don't think so.

- Why is Priya's approval
so important to you?

- Because she used to think
I was the best,

and that made me
feel good about myself.

I don't want to lose that.
- Yeah, I get that.

- Okay, we need to make sure
we have a ton of booze

and a packed house.
Leighton,

is your dad still here?
Can he buy us a bunch

of top shelf stuff?
- No, he's taking a walk

in a sculpture garden.

He's not really
in a good place.

So I didn't come out to him.

- Aw, I'm sorry.
- Yeah.

- Does Priya know you're gay?
Can I tell her?

I think she might like that.

- Mm-mm.

- Fine, I'll let you tell her.

- That is not
what that look meant.

- [gasps]
Is that Jackson?

Jackson!

- Oh, hey.
- What are you listening to?

Is it the podcast on erosion
I told you about?

I hope you're enjoying it
as much as I did.

- Oh, no.
It's my workout mix.

It's a mashup
of EDM and country.

Do you listen
to either of those?

- No, my workout mix is mostly
talk radio and think pieces.

- Hey, I'm gonna
go watch "SmackDown."

You wanna join?
- Oh, and that is?

- Wrestling.
- Right, yeah, I knew that--

sanctioned violence.
Whoo-hoo!

- Come on.

[percussive music]

- ♪ Different, mm ♪

♪ It be different, mm ♪

- Whitney!

- What's up, girl?

- Where are you guys
coming from?

- Ah, you know,
just gettin' our steps in.

200?
What the hell?

This campus is tiny.

- Hold on.
Who is that?

Did you two--
- You hooked up with him again?

You said you can't stand him.
- Shh.

It just keeps happening.

- Interesting trajectory

to go from Canaan to that.

- Whoa!
Hey, you almost hit me!

Scooters are vehicles,

and they should be
in the street!

- If you wanna stop
hooking up with him,

quit spending time
alone with him.

- The thing is he's smart.
So working with him is helpful.

- Well, keep it in public then,
not some little lab

where you two
keep getting freaky.

- Honestly, though, I get it.

Nerds are hot--

like Albert Einstein.

What?
I love a thick 'stache.

[upbeat pop music]

- It shouldn't be a problem
that I parked in the fire lane

just this one time, right?
- It's always a problem.

- Murray, is that you?

- George.
- Yes.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm on
the commencement committee.

I'm--I just came up
for a meeting.

- Come on!
Great to see you, buddy.

- You too, man.

- Leighton,
this is my old friend, George.

We were in the same
pledge class together.

both: Alphi Psi until I die!

[laughter]

- Oh, by the way,
this is my daughter, Tatum.

- Actually,
Leighton and I know each other.

- Yeah, we're friends--
or, um, acquaintances.

- Oh, the next generation
of the unbreakable Essex bond.

- Yeah, well, heads up though,
Murray.

They are packed tonight.

We couldn't even
get a seat at the bar.

- Oh.
- Oh...

- Well, we have a reservation.
Just sit with us.

- Oh, Dad,
they don't wanna eat with us.

- We'd love to.
- Oh!

- Great.
- Great.

- Come on.
- Tatum, can I talk to you

for a second?

- Hi, I am so sorry.

This is awkward.
My dad doesn't know

that I'm gay,
and I'm sure you think

that is super closeted of me,
and I get it, okay?

My ex-girlfriend, Alicia,

really hated it
when it came to that,

because I could never talk--
- Okay, chill.

It's fine.

There's no timeline
on coming out.

Also, we just started dating,
so it's cool.

I got you.

- Okay, thanks.

One more thing--my dad
also orders a dirty martini

in a very uncomfortable way,

so I do just wanna
get ahead of that.

- I will prepare myself.
- Yeah, you should.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I know
I'm constantly complaining,

but it's freezing in here.

You want my hoodie?
- Uh, no, I'm good.

- You have goosebumps.

Here.

- Oh, you don't
have to take it--

- It's fine.

- Thank you.

That's very nice.

I love how quiet it is up here.

- ♪ Who that pressing on me ♪

- Hurry up
before someone comes.

- You're seriously telling me
to hurry up right now?

- [chuckles]

- ♪ Who your baby mama ♪

- Whitney?

- Canaan!
- Oh, shit!

I'm s--I'm sorry.
I jus--I came--

I came to get a book about--

Ronald Reagan.
- Yeah.

- Yup, and I got it,

so you're good--so...
- Okay.

- I'ma go.

- Sounds great.

Fuck.

- What are you--
pull your pants up.

- Oh, we're stopping for sure?
- Yeah, we're done.

- Okay, yeah, got it.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ It's okay
to let my pain go ♪

♪ I dance for one ♪

[camera shutter clicks]
- Doesn't this party

look so fucking good?
I've really outdone myself.

- Damn, Bela,
where'd you get all of that?

- I conned a grad student
into buying it for me.

All I had to do was pay him
double the cost of the alcohol.

What a deal, right?
- Uh...

- Oh...
- Hey, how do I look?

Priya texted and said that
she'll try and be here soon.

both: Ooh...

- She said "try"?

As someone who loves
to bail on things,

that's something
I would say a lot.

- Oh, she might be superhot

and look like a mean girl now,

but trust me, she wouldn't just

blow me off like that.

Come on.
We've been friends

for, like, ten years now.

She'll be here.

- You guys goin' to this party
in the woods?

Priya just texted me
it's poppin' off!

- What the hell?
She's bailing on my party

and texting you?
How'd she even get your number?

You won't even give it to me.
- Uh, we just clicked.

We're both the hottest
of our siblings.

You wouldn't understand.

- That's it.
I'm goin' to the woods.

- Okay, well,
I guess we're going.

- I'm not gonna miss this.
She's gonna go slap

a little girl in the woods.

[laughter]

- Tatum, your dad in college

was the king of pranks--
the king of pranks.

He used to do this thing where
he would put shaving cream

in our shoes.
- Yup, I called it creamy toes.

- Right!
[both laughing]

You're literally the funniest
person I've ever met.

I'm gonna order another drink.
- Mm.

- 'Scuse me.
Hi, may I have another

dirty martini, please?
But this one, I'd like to be

extra dirty.

Like, filthy dirty.

[laughs]
Like, I want this martini

to be ashamed of itself.
- [laughs]

- He gets it.
- You haven't changed a bit,

Murray.
- Oh, come on.

- Well,
this dinner has been great.

Um, but what if we just go
ahead and, like, box this up,

and then I can go home and get
all my math homework done?

- Oh, honey.
- Damn, raised yourself

a real nerd here.
[both laugh]

Uh-oh, nerd alert.
- Okay...

- Tatum, you should find
a smart girl like her.

- Well, I am trying.
- Yeah?

Well, what about that girl,
Lydia?

I miss her.
- Oh, God, no.

Do not miss Lydia.

Her personality
was as ugly as her name.

- Mean, but fair.
[laughs]

Okay, not a looker,
not a looker.

- Hey, I gotta say, guys,
I think this is so cool

that you guys can just talk
about dating like this.

Like, I ask Leighton anything
about her dating life,

and she just ices me out.
- Oh.

- That's not true.
- [laughs] It is true.

I've asked you a million times.
You are a closed book.

- [scoffs] Okay, well,
that is because I c--

[clears throat]

- 'Cause what?

- I'm gay.

I'm gay, and, um, I've
actually been dating Tatum.

- What?
- It's true.

- We've been going on dates.
We've been on, like,

three dates--
like four, if you include

this insanely weird dinner
with our dads.

But yeah, I'm gay.
I'm gonna order a drink.

- Okay, uh, cool.

Yeah, cool.

Will you excuse me
for just a second?

- Are you--

[music playing distantly]

- It's late to be playing music
out here.

I hope it's not disrupting
the nocturnal creatures

who call these woods home.

- Oh, damn,
this party looks great--

way better
than the one you threw, Bela.

♪ ♪

- Priya, what the hell?
- What are you doing here?

I love this fit.
- I have to talk to you.

- Uh--what?

- I can't believe
you ditched the very cool party

I threw for you.
I invited, like, 200 people,

and I only know,
like, 25 of them.

I even got you
George Clooney tequila.

- I didn't ask you to do that.
- Well, you've changed,

and it's not just 'cause
you're hotter with bigger tits

and perfect complexion
and lip fillers.

- I didn't get lip fillers.
Those are just my lips.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

- That's amazing.
- Stunning.

- Thank you.
- I'd love some beauty tips.

But later.
You two keep fighting.

- Bela, I'm sorry
for ditching you, but I just--

I wanted to be around people

who didn't make me feel like
the loser I used to be.

The first thing you did
when I got here was

tell your roommates a story
that made me sound like

a giant nerd.
- Oh, I didn't realize...

- I'm trying
to reinvent myself.

I thought you of all people
would understand that.

I wanna feel good about myself
and, like, kiss a boy

and post a cute picture of him

to make mean girls back home
jealous.

- I get that.
I guess I was just worried

that you're, like, so cool now

that you'd, like,
leave me behind.

- Are you kidding?

Bela, I'm coming
to Essex for you, okay?

I have always looked up to you.

- Fuck.
Come here.

- Okay.
[both laugh]

I love you.
- I love you too.

Guess I'll just head back
to the party then.

- Okay.
I will be seeing you

back there though, okay?

I'm just gonna make out
with Graham first.

- Yeah, you will.
- Yeah, girl!

You go get that young tongue.
[flicking tongue]

- Come on,
let's give her some space.

- Do you guys think
we should make

an anonymous call
to the fire marshal?

- Hell no.
- These open flames

are very dangerous.

- Hey, Dad, you okay?

- Yeah.

Yeah, of course, honey.

- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to add

any more stress to your life.

I know that
there's a lot going on.

- No, honey,
don't apologize, please.

That's not why I--

Leighton, I love you.

My reaction was about me.

I was just shocked, you know?

And the fact
that I didn't see this coming,

I don't know what that says
about me as a parent.

- It might mean that I'm just
really good at being closeted.

[both chuckling]

- Yeah, I don't know.
Is that a good thing?

- Yeah, no, no, probably not.

- Are you happy?

- That is a big question.

[chuckles]
But in terms of who I am

and my sexuality,

yes.

Yes, I am.

- Well,
I'm so happy you told me,

and I'm so proud of you.

For what it's worth,
I really like Tatum for you.

- Oh, you do not
have to say that.

- No, I really do.
When you look at her, you smile

with your teeth and everything.

That's your tell, kiddo.
- Oh, my...

- You can't ignore that.
- Ha!

I will not be discussing
gay dating with my dad.

- Oh, yes, you will.

I'm gonna be calling you
every week.

- ♪ I like the way you're
moving to the rhythm ♪

♪ Like you go on up ♪

- Oh, wait, how did
ending things with Andrew go?

Was he upset?

- Not really--

mostly because
I didn't end things,

then we had sex in the library.

[both scream]
- In the library?

- Mm-hmm.

And then Canaan walked in.
[both gasp]

- Whoa.
- Holy shit.

- Hi.
- Hey!

- Well, I did it.

I finally came out to my dad.
[all cheer]

- Wait, how did it go?
- Good, and he definitely

likes Tatum,
maybe, like, a little too much.

- He invited me golfing.
- He just assumed

she golfs because she's gay.

- And he was right.

- ♪ I'm having some trouble
believing you ♪

♪ I'm hearing the drums
just follow you ♪

- Whitney.

Nice to see you--
for the second time today, huh?

- Mm-hmm, okay,
yeah, don't do that.

- You, uh,
get any good studying in?

Read some new books?
- Please do not make me

leave my own dorm party.
I have nowhere else to go.

- So who's the guy?

- He's just some guy
from class.

It's casual.

- Kay.

Well, casual looks good on you.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

- ♪ I know they hatin',
I know they talkin' ♪

♪ I call 'em tree bitches,
they steady barkin' ♪

- There she is!
Did you kiss that boy?

- I did!
- [screams]

- He was really bad at it.
- Most are.

- His tongue, like, darted in,
and it just stayed there.

[both groan]
- Been there.

Let's find you someone else.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Not tonight.
I wanna hang with you.

- Aw, that is so sweet.

Well, if that's the case,
let's all work on finding

someone for me.
I'm not picky as long as

he is perfect looking.

♪ ♪

- So I wanted to talk to you

about something.
- Okay, what's up?

- I'm starting to think that
we don't have a lot in common.

- Yeah.

You might be right, but...

I think it's good
that we're different.

You don't spend time worrying

about how much you do and don't

have in common
with your friends, do you?

- No.
- So why would it be

an issue for us?
I like learning new things

from you, like that podcast
you told me about.

- You listened
to the series on erosion?

- Yeah.
It wasn't good to run to,

but it was eye-opening.

I'm just sayin'
I don't wanna date someone

who's just like me.
- You said "date."

Are we dating?
- I think so.

Is that cool?
- Yeah.

But I don't wanna watch
wrestling with you.

The stories are so lazy.
- Oh, those aren't stories.

Those are real.

- Oh...
- [chuckles] I'm kidding.

I'm not an idiot.
[both laugh]

["Are You All Alone?"
by Lyrah]

- [giggles]

- ♪ I'm caught up in a loop ♪

♪ That I can't break ♪

♪ But I don't mind you
on my mind ♪

♪ I-I-I-I can't slow ♪

[phone chimes]

♪ Watch you,
watch me come undone ♪

♪ Hold on, you've got me ♪

♪ Throwing myself around ♪

♪ You know you've got me won ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You know you've got me won ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You know you've got me won ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm thinking about
thinking about you ♪

♪ I'm thinking about
thinking about you ♪

♪ I'm thinking about
thinking about you ♪

♪ I-I-I-I ♪

♪ Can't slow
how I'm falling ♪

♪ Watch you
watch me come undone ♪

♪ Hold on, you've got me
throwing myself around ♪

♪ You know you've got me won ♪

♪ Oh, oh, you've got me
throwing myself around ♪

- Go to bed.