Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

(calm music)

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- [Riley Voiceover] I wish I could tell you that

all this shit never really happened.

And it was all a figment of my active

imagination or just some weird dream.

I wish.

Yeah, that's me.

I'm wearing my sky blue shirt today, must be Wednesday.

Holy shit.

I don't even know the first thing

about this woman but she now represents

everything that's missing from my life.

I wonder what she looks like naked.

If she asks me to get off at the next stop

and run away with her to some deserted island

where I could watch here frolic butt naked in the sand,

well I'd have to think long and hard about it

before I remembered I already have a wife I'm stuck with.

And there she is everyone, the love of my life,

the yin to my yang, my wife Carrie.

We married right out of college.

Seven years later I feel like

I'm living with a total stranger.

It's not that I hate her,

I just don't like anything about her.

The way it takes her forever

to pay at the check out counter.

- I'm sorry I--

I can pay with a card Carrie if you want.

- No.

- [Riley Voiceover] Oh God her laugh,

its so fucking terrible, it's so bad.

(Carrie laughing)

Basically I just don't like the way

she doesn't understand me at all.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I thought basketball season was over.

- It it's this is the ESPN classics.

- [Carrie] So this is like an old game?

- Yeah.

- Seriously, you're watching a game that already happened?

What the fuck is the point of that?

- It's game six in the '98 finals.

Michael Jordan, six championships, how do you?

- You're pathetic.

- [Riley] Love you.

- [Riley Voiceover] This is my boss, Janet.

She's a total fucking bitch.

Look at her.

- Does that make sense to you?

- [Riley Voiceover] I can't believe

I wanted to fuck this woman.

- 'Cause it seems like it doesn't make sense to you.

I mean it makes sense to me, but I'm smart.

- [Riley Voiceover] Now I wish nothing more

than to duct tape her mouth shut

and shove her lifeless body into frozen

Lake Michigan in the middle of January.

Is that bad?

- It won't happen again.

- [Riley Voiceover] I hate my job.

I hate everything about it but most of all

I hate all the stupid assholes that I work with.

I hate the dumb chit chat from Mark,

the charisma sucking dipshit lazy ass

who stands at the edge of my cubicle

for 20 minutes at a time instructing me

to watch these dumb ass YouTube videos

of the cat parties he throws.

- You look at that Samson.

He's a little shy guy isn't he?

- Three five two one.

- And so I was getting down there.

- [Riley Voiceover] And Molly, who constantly

describes every sorted detail of her sexual exploits.

- And he asks me, hey you wanna get real weird?

And you know me man, I'm down for anything bro.

- [Riley Voiceover] I mean the stuff

that comes out of this woman's mouth.

- He pulled out a butt plug you know.

And I'm talking it was a massive butt plug bro.

- [Riley Voiceover] It'll haunt your dreams.

- It was giant, we had a real weekend of it.

- That's awesome Molly.

- [Riley Voiceover] But worst of all is the stupid parties

these people have for the most minute occasions.

- I mean you've seen my vanilla kind of cupcake.

- [Riley Voiceover] This one is a going away party

for Betsy, our temporary department assistant.

- No people usually cook for me actually.

- [Riley Voiceover] We've had seven different

temps this year, and seven different parties for

each and every one of these fuckers.

- They must send those guys to like

some kind of school or something you know.

They just work at the grocery store like if you.

Awe see that's good, that's good.

Like I don't know if it's psychosomatic,

but I taste blueberries.

- [Betsy] Really.

- [Mark] Blue, right.

- [Riley Voiceover] At some point I made up

a phony digestive disorder just so

I could get away from my cubicle without being questioned.

I spend a lot of time in here.

Carrie always suggest that we meet up

and hang out at trendy restaurants.

It makes her feel like she's in

some Meg Ryan romantic comedy or something.

I don't get it.

Since we don't ever have anything to talk about

I just find our little dates depressing.

Carrie has the worst taste in books.

She only reads trendy shit that's been

on the best seller list forever but she still has

the audacity to believe that she's unique.

- Riley we need to talk.

- Okay.

- This is going to be hard.

- What?

- [Voiceover] Oh God, she's putting on

her best Meryl Streep impression.

She usually only does this when someone dies,

or her favorite singer gets kicked of of American Idol.

- I met someone.

- What does that mean?

- It means I met someone else and I think I want a divorce.

- Are you breaking up with me at a restaurant?

- I'm not trying to intentionally hurt you.

It just sort of happened.

- [Riley] Who is he?

- It doesn't matter who he is.

- Of course it matters, what are you talking about?

- [Carrie] Just someone I met at work.

- At work, are you fucking kidding me?

- Calm down people are staring.

- I don't give a shit, what are you looking at?

- Riley get a hold of yourself - Chicken fingers?

How old are you?

- Enough.

- Let me guess, Tony, seen the way he looks at you.

The guy practically fucks you in his mind.

- It's not Tony.

- [Riley] Ryan?

- Ew, no.

- Don't tell me it's Jeff.

Seriously?

The guy smells like a sweaty nut sack all the time.

- That's because he's a personal trainer

and he sweats for a living.

- [Riley] You're pathetic.

- I'm pathetic?

- So when you said for better or worse,

what you really meant was until someone

you could fuck with better abs comes along right?

I can't believe I wasted seven years of my life with you.

You know I wasn't enjoying this either.

But I made it work 'cause that's

what grown ups are supposed to do.

- This isn't easy for me.

- What's that I can't hear you

with Jeff's three inch dick in your mouth.

- I know that you're upset but focusing on the negatives

is not going to get us through this situation.

- Spare me your psych major bullshit okay.

You flunked out of college remember.

- You know I had to drop out because I had mono.

- You had the flu.

- No it was really bad mono, even my doctor said.

- [Riley] God.

- Dr. Phil says--

- [Riley] Oh Jesus Christ.

- That you should live the life that you love.

And he and his wife have been married

for a really long time and I think

that he knows what he's talking about.

And you know that this hasn't been good for a long time.

- Yeah no shit.

- Why don't you just take the apartment

to yourself for the next couple of days.

- Oh thank you Carrie, that's real nice of you.

- [Carrie] What do you want me to do Riley?

- So what you'd thought you'd bring me

to a public place, I wouldn't cause a scene.

- Well we both know how emotional you are.

And I figured maybe you wouldn't

say something that you regretted.

- Excuse me everybody.

- [Carrie] Riley sit down.

- Everyone, this woman is a whore.

- Riley, oh my God.

- [Riley] A dirty, dirty whore.

Just thought you all should know.

- Really really mature.

- Enjoy your life with Jeff McSweaty Balls.

And sorry for insulting you about your chicken nuggets,

I love chicken nuggets, fuck it.

- Hi how can I help you?

- Yeah I need to talk to Jeff.

- Is he expecting you?

- Doubtful, can you just go get him please?

- Well I can't just go and get him

if he's not expecting you.

- Just go get Jeff will you?

- Well you need to calm down before I can go and get Jeff.

- Riley what's up man?

- Don't do that.

- Do what?

- We need to talk.

- Riley what's going on buddy?

(punch lands)

- She's all yours.

(calm music)

- [Riley Voiceover] Even though my marriage

only ended a few hours ago,

it's weird to be back in our house.

I'm not sure why.

I mean I know I haven't been in love with her

for a long time but thinking about how

I've wasted years of my life with the wrong person

makes me very (glass shatters) angry.

- Bitch, fucking bitch. (grunts)

Fuck you!

- [Riley Voiceover] There have only been

two moments in my life where I have gotten

so angry that I momentarily blacked out.

The first time beating up Cory Henderson

in the fourth grade because he called me a homo, and this.

Awe, Carrie's favorite pillow,

I think there's a little tear in it.

Let me go ahead and fix that, there we go.

That's nice.

(knocking)

- [Mark] Riley.

(knocking)

Yo, Riley.

- What?

- You okay man, you look like shit.

- [Riley] What do you want?

- Janet wants to see you in her office.

Oh and FYI, the beast is angry.

Good job on the White Shirt Wednesday.

- Alright Mark.

- It happened again.

- [Riley] What happened again?

- Another mistake you should of caught.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- What do you want me to say Janet?

- I want you to explain to me why

we keep having these conversations.

- I don't have an explanation for you okay.

It was a mistake, mistakes happen.

That's why they call them mistakes.

- [Janet] Not on my watch they don't.

- Apparently they do.

- Excuse me?

- I said apparently they do.

- Listen, I don't know what's

going on in your life right now.

Whether you're having family or personal problems,

and frankly I don't care.

When you're here I expect you to

be focused and committed to your work.

Now if this is something you can't handle

then maybe you should think about

getting a different line of work.

- You know Janet, for once I actually agree with you.

- What does that mean?

- It means I fucking quit, yeah.

- That's seriously what you want?

- Yes it is, more than anything in the world yes.

- Well maybe you should take a minute

and use your brain and talk this through.

- No no no, I'm done talking, yeah.

(calm music)

Oh and feel free to go fuck yourself.

(upbeat music)

- [Riley Voiceover] After Carrie saw

how I trashed the apartment she stuck

a restraining order on me and demanded

I move out by the end of the week.

Can't say I blame her.

There's something sad about seeing a place

you've lived in for awhile knowing it will be the last time.

- No, no no no, no.

- [Bystander] Hey you looking for that van?

- Yeah what, did you see what happened to it?

- Yeah some guy hopped in the front seat and took off.

- Why didn't you do anything?

- Wasn't my truck.

- Are you fucking serious?

Of course, how could my piece of shit life get any worse?

Everything I own was in that fucking van.

- You want to call the cops or something?

- God.

- [Riley Voiceover] A moment of panic kicks in

when you realize you've lost every possession you own,

but for me it was quickly replaced by a calming rush.

Everything in my life was gone.

- Can I bum a smoke?

- [Riley Voiceover] But for some reason,

- Yeah.

- [Riley Voiceover] I didn't care.

- Do you want to report the van stolen or?

- Fuck it.

Just stuff right?

- Right.

- Thanks for the smoke.

- [Bystander] Hey man what about your box?

- [Riley] Keep it.

(calm music)

- [Sam] Hey man come here!

- What?

- [Sam] Yeah man come here!

Come here!

- [Riley] What?

- [Sam] You got a light?

- Light no no, you shouldn't,

school property you shouldn't smoke here.

- Hey man what's your name?

- Riley.

- Riley?

What kind of fucking name is that?

- I don't know a regular one.

- [Sam] Yeah well not around here pal.

- Okay.

- Name's Sam, friends call me Sammy.

My real name's Samuel but nobody calls me that.

Can I ask you a question?

- What?

- Do you think you could kick my ass?

- Fuck you man.

- Nah seriously man.

If we were in a fight do you think you could kick my ass?

- I don't know do you want to find out?

(Sam laughing)

- Holy shit, yeah look at the stones on this dude.

I like this mother fucker.

- Seriously dude, back the fuck off.

- Just calm down.

I didn't come out here to get my ass kicked.

- Then what do you want?

- Where do you live?

- Why do you want to know?

- Well look around man.

We're in the middle of fucking nowhere

and I haven't talked to anybody new in ages.

- What do you want to act like a couple

of fucking girlfriends, talk about what

we're gonna wear to school tomorrow or something?

- Yes, more than anything.

- Well I'm not fucking interested dude okay.

So just do me favor man and piss off.

- Oh come on man just spare me like five minutes.

- What do you want to know?

- Where are you from?

- I lived in Chicago for the last 10 years

but I'm from Oklahoma okay.

- No shit?

- No shit.

- You heading to Oklahoma now?

- Yeah.

- How come?

- Because the last couple of days

I found out my wife has been fucking

some douche bag behind my back,

the van that I was using to store

all my belongings in was stolen,

and I told my boss to go fuck herself.

- You like to party?

- What?

- Well you seem like a dude that needs to like

stop using his brain for a little while so,

you want to get fucked up with me?

- Yeah okay.

- Cool man.

(calm music)

See that's the problem nowadays,

everybody wants to cross over like The Rock you know.

Back in the day the supersize was what is was all about.

Where wrestling was at it's purest form.

- Like Andre the Giant?

- Like Andre the Giant, when the Hulkster pinned him,

did the old scoop slam an tucked him into one,

forget about it, give me Superfly Snuka off the top rope.

Oh fuck.

(knocking on door)

- Isn't this your house man?

- Yeah it is, it's just my girl.

She gets a little paranoid sometimes.

(knocking on door)

Misty open the door.

- Who the fuck is that?

- He's a friend of mine.

- [Misty] I've never seen him before what's his name?

- Oh Riley, Riley.

- He looks like a cop.

- He's not a cop.

You're not a cop right?

- No, I'm not a cop.

- Would you open the fucking door already?

Thank you for allowing me into my own home.

- Are you coming in or what?

- I like your place, you been here long?

- It's temporary.

- [Riley] 'Til when?

- I don't know until the fucking owner finds out.

You can sit down if you want.

- No I'm good.

- So how do you know Sammy?

- I just met him actually,

under the bleachers at the high school.

- Got it.

- You were at the fucking bleachers?

I thought you were gonna go ask Mack for a job.

- No, what?

I was, I am, I, I, I just needed to relax first.

- Bullshit.

- Why don't you get a fucking job?

- Fuck you.

- Fuck you.

Come on baby we got company here.

You ready to do this?

- What is it?

- Shrhooms.

You done shrooms before right?

- No.

(laughing)

- Oh man you are gonna love it.

I just need 60 bucks.

- What?

- 60 bucks for the shrooms.

- Seriously?

I don't know if, I have like, I have 41.

- Just enough.

You are going to love it.

You gonna partake or are you just gonna

sit there and be a bitch all day?

- Fuck you and give me one.

- Bombs away.

- What like you just eat them?

- Oh man just chew them up and swallow them whole.

- Like all of them?

- The more the merrier.

- What's gonna happen to me?

(laughing)

- You're gonna see the future.

- Ah man they taste like shit.

- That just means that they're working.

- When do these things kick in?

- About 30 minutes or so.

Welcome to Thunderdome.

- [Sam] Hey man you okay?

- It's only a Martian, it's only a Martian,

it's only a Martian.

- [Sam] Is he okay?

- I think he's talking to the aliens.

- Hey man you just need to calm down and come in for a swim.

- Shit, oh shit.

- Oh man, I think he's tripping on the dark side.

- Oh the water is filled with the spirit of the dinosaurs.

- I know baby.

(Riley yelling)

- The world is a vampire!

No no no.

- [Sam] Where you going?

- Kings Landing.

- Where?

- [Riley] Kings Landing.

- Where the fuck is that?

- [Riley] Hurry.

- What?

- [Riley] Oh shit.

- [Sam] Where?

- [Riley] Kings Landing, on your horse.

- [Sam] Okay we'll meet your there.

(dramatic music)

- You can't have me, you can't cut through my bones.

They're my bones!

(dramatic music) (rambling)

(calm music)

- [Riley Voiceover] You don't realize

how little you have in life until you

find yourself walking completely naked through Nebraska.

(acoustic guitar)

- Son, what the hell do you think you're doing?

- Kind of a long story.

- Let me guess, I don't want to know the details right?

- Probably not no.

- Alright follow me.

Honey, we've got company.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Says his name is Riley.

- Nice to meet you Riley.

- You too.

I'd shake your hand but I'm covering--

- That's quite alright I understand.

You need some clothes.

- Yeah that'd be nice.

- Follow me.

Well not an exact fit but close enough.

- This is great Rose thank you, I appreciate it.

- You know you confuse me.

- Me, how so?

- You just don't seem like the kind of guy that goes

traipsing around the countryside with no clothes on.

- Well it's a first for me.

- You know they reserve that behavior

for the dimwitted and the crazy.

So who are you?

- Kind of trying to figure that out.

- What are you gonna do now?

- I'm gonna figure out where it all went wrong.

- So how are you gonna do that?

- I don't know, start from the beginning I suppose.

- You seem like a pretty determined young man

so I think you're gonna get it figured out.

Just hey, keep your clothes on next time.

- Alright I will.

- Does your mother know where you are?

- No.

- You should call her.

- I'm on my way to see her now actually.

- She'll be pleased.

- I hope so.

- Sure we can't give you a ride in to town?

- No no, I'm good, you've done enough.

I'm gonna hit the road.

- Wait, I know you lost your wallet so.

- No, no no no no no I don't.

- No it's not a request.

- Thank you, really.

I'll pay you back I swear.

- I hope you find what you're looking for out there.

- Thank you Rose.

See you later.

See you later man.

(upbeat music)

You need any help?

- I'm fine.

- Just the jack kind of works better if you turn it around.

- This thing?

- [Riley] Yeah.

- This way?

Then what?

- You mind if I?

I won't like try anything weird or anything.

- Well good 'cause I don't want to have to cut you.

- Yeah I wouldn't want that either.

Alright, let me make sure it's

low enough to get to the ridge.

Then you brace it against something solid.

And voila.

- Thanks, I really appreciate it.

- No problem.

- You know a lot of about cars?

- Actually it's like the only thing I know how to do.

- My dad always used to try to explain to me

how to do this kind of stuff but I never paid attention.

Probably should have listened more.

- Well my dad said that I'd never be useful for anything.

- [Annie] Well you're proving him wrong.

- Yeah I guess so.

- I'm Annie.

- I'm Riley.

- Where's your car?

- I don't have one.

- You're a hitchhiker?

- Yeah I guess, I don't know.

- You're just walking across the country?

- Well my journey kinda just began.

I hadn't put much thought into it.

- Are you having a midlife crisis?

- How old do you think I am?

- Okay, quarter life crisis.

- Actually I hadn't put much thought into that either.

- Have you put thought into where your headed?

- Yeah I'm gonna see my folks in Oklahoma.

- Fuck, okay fine I'll drive you.

- No you don't have to drive me--

- Yes, yes I do have to drive you.

Your fixing my tire, all the signs are pointing to it.

I have been ignoring that bitch for a long time

and she's finally kicking my ass.

- Who?

- Karma, fucking Karma.

- You believe in that?

Like the what goes around comes around kind of thing?

- Well I know my life's been one

shitty occurrence after another

and either I was randomly destined to live a life of shit,

which I'm really hoping is not the case,

or it's you know payback for being an asshole or something.

Either way I am trying to change.

Fix my fucking tire so I can give you a ride.

Take a hint, Jesus.

Really do appreciate it though.

(upbeat music)

So what's your story?

- My story?

- Yeah there must be an interesting back story

that brought you and I together here at this very moment.

- [Riley] It's not as exciting as you might think.

- Well I want to hear it.

- I just found out my wife has been

fucking somebody behind my back.

- Really?

- Yeah, can't really bounce back after that one.

- I found my husband naked in bed

with my best friend a couple of years ago.

- Holy shit, what did you do?

- I did what any sane woman in that situation would do.

I drug that naked bitch into the front yard

by her hair and shoved her face in a pile of dog shit.

- Wow, I wish I would have thought of that one.

- Yeah well, a lot of good it did me.

We got divorced, they got married.

And I'm still trying to figure out

what the fuck I'm gonna do with my life.

Don't worry, it gets better.

- Yeah how?

- Well you don't forget or anything but

eventually the anger starts to go away

and you think about them less and less every day.

- Sounds exhausting.

- Well they're just stress for you.

What you need is to find some

random chick and get yourself laid.

- Okay, you make it sound so easy.

I mean I haven't been with another

woman other than my wife in years.

How I'm supposed to pull that off?

(calm music)

Is this okay?

- Yes.

- Really?

- It's not bad for you.

- Okay.

'Cause I haven't done this in like forever.

- I know, just stop thinking about it.

(calm music)

- Oh God, being divorced is awesome.

You're like the most perfect woman I've ever seen.

- Oh God, it has been awhile for you hasn't it?

(calm music)

- Morning.

- Sorry, I didn't want to wake you.

- That's okay.

- Check out isn't until 11 so if you want to,

sleep in or whatever.

- Where you going?

- I gotta get home.

- You gonna do the walk of shame?

- No, last night was--

- Fun, it's been a long time since I

enjoyed myself that many times in one night.

- Yeah, okay come on.

Can you get the rest of the way yourself?

- Yeah, it's not far from here.

So is the last time I'm gonna see you?

- Yes.

- I'm really glad I met you.

- Likewise.

You're gonna be fine.

- [Riley] Thank you.

(upbeat music)

Hey.

- Riley?

- [Riley] Hey Dad.

- What the hell are you doing here?

- I was in the neighborhood.

- What are you doing, where's your car?

- No car this time.

- What, how'd you get here?

What the hell are you doing?

- It's a long story.

- You wanna beer or something?

- Yes, that'd be great yeah, let's go.

How's mom?

- [Dad] Oh actually she's just doing really well.

- What do you mean she wants a divorce?

- She wants a divorce.

- Well did you tell her that she couldn't have one?

- [Riley] No.

- Why not?

- I'm not gonna do that.

- Honey, look if you want something

you have to fight for it.

- I don't think I want it.

- Why not?

- I haven't wanted it for a long time.

I was just doing it 'cause that I thought

you were supposed to do, I don't know.

- Well that's just the dumbest thing I ever heard.

- I know it doesn't make sense to you

because you guys love each other,

you're made for one another.

- Riley marriage isn't easy.

You think that is easy?

- No I don't think it's easy but

there's got to be a fundamental desire

to want the same things and be on the same page.

We weren't like that, haven't been for awhile.

- Well this is all coming as quite a shock to us.

I just, we just always thought that

you were so content and happy.

- Well we weren't.

- I hate that you ever had to feel that way.

- Yeah me too.

- So where's all your stuff?

(scoffs)

I don't know if I feel good about you

going down to the bar and drinking by yourself.

- Fine Mom, I just, I need to clear my head a little bit.

- You want your dad to go down there with you?

- I'll be fine, I just need some along time.

- You're not getting in a fight are you?

- Why would I get into a fight?

- Riley I know you, every single time

you get frustrated you start a fight.

- No I don't.

- Yes you do.

- I promise I won't get into a fight.

- Okay, but if you do call us

and I'll send your dad down for backup.

- Alright.

- [Mom] He's a real tiger.

- Yeah.

- Howard, Howard, say goodbye, say goodbye.

- Bye.

(acoustic guitar)

- [Riley Voiceover] I always get a strange

feeling inside when I come back home.

When I was a kid I felt completely empty growing up.

I never felt like I quite belonged.

I was always searching for something else

out there in the world you know.

Guess I still am.

(slap lands) - Mother fucker.

- Jesus.

- What the fuck are you doing here?

- Tommy what's up man?

- What you come to town, you can't call your oldest friend?

- It kind of just happened.

- Dude you alright?

- I been better man.

- Aw damn, did you like hit rock bottom?

That's why you're back in town?

- How you doing, you alright?

- Same old same old you know.

Work like a fucking dog working my balls off.

Hey how's Chicago?

- Think I'm gonna take a break from it probably.

- Yeah you gonna move back here?

- I don't know about that.

- How's Carrie?

Oh fuck so that's why you're here right now huh?

- That's part of it.

- Yeah did she like catch you sending dick pics

to somebody or something like that?

- No.

- What she was fucking sending pussy pics to people?

- Not exactly.

- Fucking bitches.

So it's like over?

- I don't know man, I guess.

- Oh well, you know it could be worse.

- How so?

- Dude did you hear about all the guys?

- No.

- Okay so Jimbo has like 14 months

in the county for all that meth shit.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, you've seen Craig?

- No.

- You have seen Craig?

Oh man he's so fucking fat.

(laughing)

He's like, he's like blue, he is like so fat.

If you gave him a donut he would

have a heart attack and die right in front of you.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah, and Tony.

Aw man the dude has fucking cancer. (laughing)

No like cancer, like he doesn't have hair anywhere,

anywhere, like he showed me his pubes, he doesn't have any.

- Jesus Christ.

- It's weird, fucking bullshit right?

- Out of all us like, he was like the

- He was the health nut. - health nut.

- Yeah, I don't know.

- Wow.

What about you man, you seem happy.

- I seem happy?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- I mean I always get those Christmas cards

of you and your family, the matching snowflake sweaters

and the antler hats or whatever.

- Shut up, come on dude its a fucking show.

- Come on man.

- Yeah.

- Well at least you got a wife and kids that love you.

- Yeah, I got kids.

- That's a huge thing - Congratulations,

- that's a big deal. - yeah I have kids.

Yeah that's not a big fucking deal.

- It kinda is.

- Like every 16 year old in this town has fucking kids.

We're all just stupid and we forget to pull out.

I don't know if you know what it's like

to have small children but it doesn't stop.

They're so fucking annoying, they don't ever leave you alone

they're like Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad can I sit in your lap?

Dad, Dad smell my fingers and I'm like okay.

And I smell them and like why do

your fingers smell like shit?

And they're like ah they were in my butt. (laughing)

And like Dad, Dad, like why is the men in the sky?

I'm like I don't know.

Why does the dog have brown hair?

I'm like I don't fucking know like,

just give me five fucking minutes alone

I could research some of this for you.

And then Missy, oh she loves me yeah.

Yeah she really loves me but it's all

a big fucking show like you know she wants us,

she's more concerned of us appearing happy

you know then what's really going on.

Like she doesn't like let me fuck her doggy style

or she's like that and like when you have kids

she's like I'm tired, the kids,

so even blowjobs you know that's out.

It's kinda like, it's like, it's shut.

- What's shut?

- Like you know her business is closed.

It's not like tight shut, it's like,

you know if you don't use it it goes away.

Feels like it's like there was a plague

down there called our children and now.

- No business.

- Business is closed.

- Business is closed yeah.

- You know that is the reason why I come here.

Just to get away you know just drink with people

and shoot pool, there's a lot of losers here.

Man, let's get out of here.

- What, where do you want to go?

- I don't know this place is suffocating me.

I need some air.

- Where are we, where are you gonna go?

- I don't know, let's go.

Come on let's go.

God look at this fucking place.

Can you even believe we grew up here?

- It's hard to remember even living here man.

- Dude you're so smart for getting out of here.

I got myself chained here.

- You ever think about where it all went wrong?

- Yes, yes every fucking single day of my life.

- You have any answers?

- Yeah May 29, 2003.

- You have the exact date?

- Yeah that was our high school graduation.

Do remember we made that pact?

We were gonna break up with

our girlfriends at the after party?

- Holy shit.

- Yeah.

- I totally remember that oh my God.

- We promised each other we were

gonna be free and bang whoever we wanted.

- Yeah what did we call that?

- We called it

the summer of love, yeah. - The summer of love.

- But I'm a fucking pussy ass and I chicken shit out

and I stay with Missy so now 10 years later

I regret that every day of my life, every day.

God I could have done anything I wanted to.

- I can't believe I broke up with Becca that night.

- The fucking President if I wanted to.

- She was so smart, like funny too, she was funny.

- She was cute she was like, she had that crooked smile

and those perky high school tits.

- Yep.

No but she was deep though.

Like we spent hours just like talking and laughing and--

- Fucking.

- Yeah, even that.

You know what's weird?

It's like the most mature relationship I ever had.

- And you let that go?

- Fuck you man.

- Do you know why?

Because we're stupid we were stupid kids.

You let a good one go and I stayed with a fucking bitch,

a fun destroying narcissistic woman.

- I haven't seen Becca in forever, I wonder what she's like.

- I saw her recently.

- Really?

- Yeah, I ran into her she was in town at the grocery store.

- How'd she look?

- I mean she was always cute but she looks good,

like she's fine, like you know she's grown up and sexy now.

- Shit.

- Yeah.

- I mean did you like talk to her?

- Yeah yeah I did talk to her.

She's married, she has kids, she lives in Denver.

- Denver.

- Yeah, her husband's family

owns a bank or something like that.

- Why did I break up with her, God damn it fuck.

- I don't know but she asked about you.

- Did she really?

- Yeah, she just asked like how you were and stuff.

- Well what'd she say though?

- I mean she just said that like how--

- No but what did she say?

- Shit man I told you she was just like

how is he, how is he doing?

- You know she called me a couple of days before my wedding.

- What?

- What?

- Holy shit she tried to break up your wedding.

- No she didn't.

- Yeah. - No.

- She just called to congratulate me and see if I was happy.

- No woman calls you, no ex-girlfriend calls you

right before your wedding unless she wants to break it up.

- That wasn't how it was.

- Dude you're stupid 'cause she didn't say that

but that's exactly what she meant, I know these things.

- You think really?

Fuck me.

- Yeah, yeah fuck us both.

Dude let's go get fucked up.

Let's go do something.

- Alright.

- Come on let's go.

(upbeat music)

- Tommy what are we doing man, come on?

- Trust fall.

- No not a trust fall.

What are we doing here?

- Just correcting the past.

(upbeat music)

- What?

No, no no no, they're so young.

- [Tommy] Just calm down.

- [Riley] They're like 13 years old shut up.

- Hey ladies, I'm thirsty.

(upbeat music)

So what's your names?

- Amber, this is Caitlin.

- Hi.

- How old are you?

- We're about to be seniors.

- Hot.

- How old are you?

- Old enough.

- Okay.

- Are you married?

- No, why?

- 'Cause you have a wedding ring on.

- No I wear this 'cause I'm a fucking bad ass.

- Oh okay.

- So you guys have little boyfriends or something?

- Maybe.

- So maybe, what kind of answer is that?

- Well what's it to you?

- Well if you don't, you two can party with us.

- What if we do?

- Well if you do, you can still party with us.

- Oh I see, this evening we're gonna party with you?

- We're already partying.

- You call this a fucking party?

- Yeah what do you call it?

- The beginning of the end.

- I think he's high.

- You wanna get out of here?

I can buy you booze it's cool.

- Are you serious?

- Would you get us some wine coolers?

- Yeah, yeah we can drink wine coolers, it's cool.

- [Amber] Really?

- My brother loves wine coolers.

- Oh yeah, they're so good.

- [Amber] Oh you think that's funny?

- Well my mom drinks them so--

- [Amber] Oh your mom must be pretty cool.

(siren blares) - Cops.

(all talking at once)

(upbeat music)

If you don't run they won't catch you.

(upbeat music)

(shushing)

- The Johnsons have a pool we just have to hop the fence.

- No, no way.

- I'll help you guys, I'll help you guys.

- Why are you freaking?

Okay good then hold my heels, hold my heels.

- You're breaking and entering.

- [Tommy] What?

- [Caitlin] Careful.

(slap lands)

- [Tommy] Over, you're good to go.

(Riley shushing)

(door clangs open)

- Oh God.

- [Caitlin] Hurry up!

(Riley shushing)

- Okay I don't think anyone's home.

- I don't think so, oh my God.

I don't think they're home.

Okay okay.

- [Amber] Are you guys coming?

- [Sam And Riley] Yeah.

- Well hurry up.

- [Sam] Yeah okay.

- [Riley] Holy shit.

(girls squealing)

(calm music)

- [Riley Voiceover] Sometimes you know

when you're about to do something very stupid.

- [Amber] Yeah Tommy!

(calm music)

- Fine.

- [Riley Voiceover] And other times

you just have to shut your brain off and do it anyway.

(girls squealing)

- [Amber] Finally.

(calm music)

- [Tommy] Did you know that Riley and I,

we were captains of the baseball team?

- You were captains, were you guys any good?

- Yep.

- Really?

- Yeah we went to state.

- [Amber] Wow look at you, that's so sexy.

- I couldn't play 'cause I got injured.

- You did, where why?

- I got hit by a ball, I broke my jaw right here.

- Was it right there?

- You see there's a scar, it's under my beard.

- I don't see anything.

- Well you have to look close.

- I'm trying.

(Tommy roars) (Amber screams)

You ass, what the hell is wrong with you?

- He does that a lot?

- [Amber] Oh my God.

- But Riley, Riley hit like two grand slams.

In the second grand slam one game

he just connected and he went all the way in,

remember it hit the prinicple's car?

- It hit the principle's car, broke a window yeah.

- [Amber] What?

- How much trouble did you get in?

- None. - That's ridiculous.

- None?

- 'Cause we won.

- [Tommy] He had a good arm.

- [Amber] Well that's good.

- Do you wanna go see my tree I used to hang out at?

- You're tree you used to take all your chicks too?

- No it was my hangout tree, you wanna go see it?

- I would love to see your hangout tree.

- I'm a gentleman you wanna go see for yourself?

Okay let's go. (Amber squealing)

- [Caitlin] The line that she's saying is so fun.

- [Riley] I would have carried

but you didn't have heels on so.

- [Caitlin] No it's okay.

- So, you're gonna be a senior?

- Yep.

- Do you have any plans after graduation?

- Do you really want to talk about

my graduation plans right now?

- What do you mean?

- I mean we're alone hanging out in the dugout.

Most guys would be trying to make a move by now so.

- I vaguely remember that yeah.

- So do you want to kiss me?

- I don't think that's such a good idea Caitlin.

- That's not what I asked.

Okay, alright, how old are you?

Like really how old are though?

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I'm 29.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- No, we seriously we can't, I can't.

- Relax I'm not gonna tell anyone.

- I know I just, that's not the issue.

I just don't want you to be my age

and look back on the day that you

made a mistake by kissing some old dude.

- A mistake?

Do you overthink things like this a lot?

- I suppose I do yeah.

- I'm just a kid, you're not gonna ruin my life.

- I know I just think that you should

probably kiss guys your own age.

- Okay well, guys my age don't even kiss you,

they skip that, straight for a boob grab.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, oh yeah.

Whatever it's no big deal.

Just heard that old guys really take their time so.

- I don't think so Caitlin.

- Did you have a girlfriend in high school?

Did you guys kiss?

- Of course yeah, yeah we kissed.

- Well do you want to just maybe

kiss me like you would kiss her.

(calm music)

- [Riley] Like that?

- Yeah, that's really good.

- [Riley] Well you got your kiss.

- Wasn't so hard was it?

- No.

- So who were you thinking about?

- What do you mean?

- The high school girlfriend that

you were thinking about when you kissed me.

- Becca.

- Becca?

- Yeah.

- Becca, the slut.

- No she was great, she was awesome.

And she loved me a lot.

- How come you guys aren't still together?

- I don't know.

I mean it was a different lifetime ago you know.

- Oh please, not that long ago.

I mean I now I pretended like you're 100, but not that.

- No you'll understand I mean.

You don't understand it now but you will.

- Do you love her?

You look like you really love her.

- I do, yeah I guess I do.

- Just go be with her.

- You know it's really hard to argue with

that logic of yours.

- I know I'm like really smart, I told you.

(Amber moaning in distance)

I don't know, I don't want to know.

- Do you hear that?

- I'm trying really hard not to.

- [Riley] By girls.

- Can you believe we used to take these moments for granted?

- Seems like forever ago man.

- Man I'd really appreciate it

if you'd keep this night between us.

- Sure yeah.

- Dude I'm not crazy okay.

I know this isn't a world I can just run into.

I just need an escape sometimes.

- You gonna be alright?

- Yeah, yeah you'll see.

(truck cranks)

Alright, don't be a fucking stranger.

- Same to you.

- Well do you know what you're gonna do now?

- Dude I have no idea.

- Well when you figure it out give me a call okay.

- I will.

- Alright.

- Stay out of trouble.

- Get the fuck out of my truck.

(truck cranks)

- Thanks.

Morning.

- Morning.

Is that Tommy?

- Yeah.

- I see he hasn't changed.

- Nope.

- You want some pancakes?

- Yeah.

- Did you have a fun night?

- Yeah not bad.

- You didn't do anything stupid did you?

- No more than usual.

- That's what I was worried about.

- [Dad] Do you have plans for what you wanna do next?

- Nope.

- Well, we all know that this is sudden

and it'll take some time for you to figure things out.

- Is there a but coming?

- No there's not but, we just want you to be happy.

- I know.

- And if you need a place to stay

you can move back here for awhile.

- What?

- What's so funny?

- No I mean I appreciate the offer really but,

I mean honestly I'd rather be homeless than move back here.

- Well what kind of statement is that?

- I'm just saying Mom,

I'm not gonna be moving back home, like ever.

- Well it's not a big deal people do it all the time.

- Okay well if that's the case then

you can clean my bloody brains off of my bedroom wall.

- Riley!

- Honey, he's kidding.

Tell her you're joking.

- Of course I'm joking I'm not gonna

blow my brains out in my bedroom.

- Well I should hope not.

- Okay so then just tell us what you wanna do?

- Well,

what about Roxanne?

- What about her?

- Is she still around?

- [Dad] There she is, she's as beautiful as ever.

- Oh my God.

I can't believe you still have her.

- Well it's not for lack of trying.

Nobody will buy the damn thing.

- She still run?

- Fire her up.

(engine cranks)

- [Mom] Oh I don't feel good about you driving this car.

What if it dies on you out there?

- If she dies, she dies.

- I'm serious.

- I'll figure it out as I go along, I always do.

- So where you gonna go?

- Wherever I end up.

- Okay well call us when you find out where you're going.

- I will.

- [Mom] Okay, love you.

- I love you too.

By Dad.

(car cranks)

- [Mom] Oh honey.

- See you around.

- Drive safely.

Why did you let him drive that car?

- [Dad] He's a good boy.

- [Mom] Okay fine.

(acoustic guitar)

(car door shuts)

- [Riley] Jesus Christ.

(doorbell rings)

Hey Becca.

- Riley?

What are you doing here?

- I was just passing through.

I heard you lived here and I got your address from your mom.

I hope that's alright.

- Yeah, yeah it's okay.

Just a little surprising.

- I should of called, sorry that was rude.

- No no it's fine.

I can't believe you're here standing on my front porch.

- It's been a long time.

- Yeah.

- How are you?

- I don't know, I don't know.

- Well listen I'm gonna be here

for the next couple of days so,

if you ever want to go out for a drink

or anything just let me know.

- You want to have dinner?

- Dinner?

Tomorrow, does that work?

- Or now?

- Like now now you mean?

- Yeah.

If you want to.

- What's for dinner?

- Okay, okay.

- Whoa, holy shit.

Tommy made those little cheat sheets.

They were like this small with six font you know.

He made a lot of money selling those.

- That went better than expected.

- Are they down?

- Down well, Kyle's down I think

Robin will follow shortly I hope.

- Thank you.

- They're very very cute kids.

- Well that's all her doing I'm afraid.

I might be responsible for their stubbornness

a bit and that's about all they get from me.

So what were you guys talking about?

- Oh just high school.

- High school.

- High school, so you guys knew each other

pretty well in high school right?

- Yeah yeah, pretty well.

- Well good 'cause Becca never talks about high school.

So I have some questions.

Was she a righteous dork like she is still today?

- Shut up.

- Yeah something like that.

- Oh you're one to talk.

- Nah she was very nice, funny, everybody liked her.

- Except Patrick Skinner.

- Yes Patrick, that was an exception.

- Oh yeah and what was the deal with Patrick Skinner?

- He used to hold her down against her will

and he would tickle her like pretty aggressively.

- [Husband] One of those guys huh?

- Yeah well he got what was coming to him.

- [Husband] And what was that?

- Riley beat him up after school

in the Jiffy Trip parking lot.

- Allegedly, that theory hasn't been proven yet.

- Oh hello, if you wanted to keep it a secret

you probably shouldn't have done it

in front of Tommy who told Missy.

And we all know Missy can't keep a secret

'cause she called me and told me before the blood was dry.

(scoffs)

- You did that for her?

- Allegedly.

- So how about boyfriends?

Did she have a lot of them?

- No, just the one.

- [Husband] Oh yeah, and what was he like?

- Total idiot.

- [Husband] Don't tell me you had to beat him up too.

- [Riley] I probably should of.

- High school just feels like a million years ago you know.

- Feels like it was just yesterday for me.

- So Riley what brings you to Denver?

- Just passing through.

- I see.

And passing through form where?

Where do you live?

- I used to live in Chicago, but I recently moved.

- Really?

What made you leave Chicago?

- My marriage ended so you know

I've been making some changes.

- I'm so sorry.

- Yeah that's, sorry to hear, that's never easy on anyone.

- So what are you gonna do now?

- I don't know, I gotta kind of figure that out.

- Well I admire you.

It takes a lot of courage to just start all over again.

- Courage or stupidity, I haven't figured that out yet.

Good coffee.

- It's a Keurig.

Well Riley it was great to meet you.

And you know what any friend of Becca's is a friend of mine.

- [Riley] Likewise, thanks for dinner.

Everything was great, appreciate it.

- [Husband] You got it thanks, any time.

- I'm just gonna walk him to the car.

- Okay.

Night.

- Oh my God, you still have Roxeanne.

- You remembered her name.

- Of course I did, I spent more time

in this piece of shit than I did in my own bedroom.

- Hey take it easy on here okay.

She's been through a lot.

- Yeah I know, you stole my virginity in the back seat.

- I, I think It was the other way around.

- Oh please you begged me to take it.

- I don't remember you putting up much of a fight.

- Well I guess that's the problem growing up

in a small town, get bored enough to try anything.

- Well thank you, appreciate that.

- [Becca] Guess it wasn't all bad.

- Nah.

- What are you really doing here?

- What do you mean?

- Come on Riley.

We haven't talked for years and you just show up

on my front porch out of the blue.

Why are you here?

- I don't know I mean,

don't you ever think about us?

What could have been?

- Riley don't do this to yourself.

- Do what?

- Listen I know your divorce is still pretty fresh

but I, you can't just show up here

and start up shit like nothing ever happened.

I have a family in there.

This is my life now.

- I know.

I just wanted to see you in your life.

- I'm sorry.

- You called me right before my wedding.

- That was a mistake.

I shouldn't have don't that.

- Why did you do it?

Why didn't you tell me to not marry her?

- You sounded so happy on the phone.

- Yeah I was happy because I was talking to you okay.

- You should go.

- I'm staying at the Hampton Inn down the road, room 312.

I wouldn't have married her if you told me not to.

I just want you to know that.

(engine cranks)

(sports news playing on TV)

(knocking on door)

Hi.

(Becca gasps)

(calm music)

- What's wrong?

- Everything.

- I can make this work for you, you know that?

- I know.

But I can't.

(sniffles and sobs)

- What do you want me to do?

- Just hold me for a little bit longer.

(Becca crying)

(acoustic guitar)

- [Riley Voiceover] There comes a moment

in every man's life where he must make a choice

and decide to push forward and forge ahead

with the path he's chosen hoping

that eventually something rights itself

and everything works out in the end.

Or this man can decide to jump ship

into the murky cloudy waters of

the unknown on the remote chance that

there's something greater out there.

(calm music)

Maybe today is the day I take a chance at something greater.

(acoustic guitar)

Maybe today is the day I decide to jump.

(acoustic guitar)