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1
00:00:00,247 --> 00:00:02,639
Got talked into buying the big carriage.
2
00:00:02,705 --> 00:00:04,267
That's a lot of
carriage, let me tell you.
3
00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:05,596
- Hmm?
- Two horse powered.
4
00:00:05,662 --> 00:00:07,025
Wow.
5
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,620
Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,
6
00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:10,979
and General Washington himself.
7
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:14,035
I heard they're in town for
the big Freemason gathering.
8
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,364
It's the most illustrious group
9
00:00:15,431 --> 00:00:16,726
of men in the American colonies.
10
00:00:16,793 --> 00:00:18,553
Oh, to be one of them.
11
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,015
Oh, I think Ben Franklin's
12
00:00:20,082 --> 00:00:21,577
- actually coming over here.
- What?
13
00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:23,471
Laugh, man. Laugh like I've made a quip.
14
00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:26,261
Higgintoot.
15
00:00:26,328 --> 00:00:27,458
I trust you're well?
16
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,551
Yes, well, three of my five nephews
17
00:00:30,618 --> 00:00:32,445
survived the winter, so we're pleased.
18
00:00:32,512 --> 00:00:34,372
Oh, excellent news. Excellent news.
19
00:00:34,438 --> 00:00:36,266
You know, I was actually
wondering whether
20
00:00:36,332 --> 00:00:40,618
you'd be free to drop by the
Freemason lodge this Friday at 5:00.
21
00:00:40,685 --> 00:00:43,675
- I could use a man like you.
- Of course.
22
00:00:43,741 --> 00:00:45,868
Ah! Splendid, then. I'll see you there.
23
00:00:45,934 --> 00:00:48,692
And, uh... ooh! Enjoy the view.
24
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,579
Ah, yes.
25
00:00:52,646 --> 00:00:54,838
Knockers. My favorite.
26
00:00:54,905 --> 00:00:57,729
I wish she had three instead of two.
27
00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,755
Right.
28
00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,797
Damn those pesky wedding vows.
29
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:09,125
Okay, great. See you tomorrow.
30
00:01:09,126 --> 00:01:11,361
- Thank you.
- Hmm?
31
00:01:11,428 --> 00:01:12,929
Jay, we just got another
booking for the event.
32
00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:14,363
- Yeah?
- Event? What event?
33
00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:16,199
Nothing was run by me
as lady of the house.
34
00:01:16,265 --> 00:01:18,233
Again... Because you're dead.
35
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,801
But just to bring everybody up to speed,
36
00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:22,070
we are hosting a high-end
whiskey tasting...
37
00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:25,206
... and so far, the
feedback's been great.
38
00:01:25,272 --> 00:01:26,640
We even got a writer from Sippr NY
39
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:28,842
to come review it, which is huge.
40
00:01:28,908 --> 00:01:31,611
Sippr is like Eater, but for drinks.
41
00:01:31,678 --> 00:01:34,580
To put it in terms you
still don't understand.
42
00:01:34,646 --> 00:01:37,783
Well, I don't like that the
event promotes alcohol use.
43
00:01:37,850 --> 00:01:39,284
Said the cocaine fiend.
44
00:01:39,351 --> 00:01:41,252
But I do like your
description of it as high-end.
45
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:42,653
Sounds snooty. Well done.
46
00:01:43,991 --> 00:01:45,759
Oh, hold on.
47
00:01:45,825 --> 00:01:48,261
It's crazy you can
publicize a drinking event.
48
00:01:48,328 --> 00:01:49,896
In my day, when folks were boozing,
49
00:01:49,963 --> 00:01:51,298
you didn't know if you
were going to get arrested,
50
00:01:51,364 --> 00:01:54,366
get shot or go blind.
51
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:57,835
Ooh-whee! It was fun.
52
00:01:57,902 --> 00:01:59,137
Are you sure?
53
00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:02,973
Okay. Uh, well, uh, thanks, I guess.
54
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,675
Bad news, babe.
55
00:02:04,741 --> 00:02:06,877
Um, you know how I
was supposed to secure
56
00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:08,511
the liquor license
before the B and B opened?
57
00:02:08,578 --> 00:02:10,179
Might want to get down here!
58
00:02:10,246 --> 00:02:11,747
Sam and Jay are about to have a fight.
59
00:02:11,814 --> 00:02:13,182
Well, I forgot.
60
00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:16,151
But then, in kind of a hero move,
61
00:02:16,218 --> 00:02:18,086
last week, I realized that I forgot.
62
00:02:18,153 --> 00:02:19,820
Jay, the whiskey tasting is tomorrow.
63
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:22,690
Which is why I have been
hounding the liquor board
64
00:02:22,756 --> 00:02:25,225
to expedite the process,
and that was them.
65
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,126
And they said that the earliest
66
00:02:27,193 --> 00:02:29,195
that they can come to do an inspection
67
00:02:29,262 --> 00:02:30,929
is eight weeks from now.
68
00:02:30,996 --> 00:02:33,832
No. We've been serving
alcohol for months.
69
00:02:33,899 --> 00:02:35,801
Welcome drinks, wine
pairings with dinner.
70
00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:38,302
Wait, we have been doing it for months,
71
00:02:38,369 --> 00:02:39,837
and we haven't been caught.
72
00:02:39,904 --> 00:02:41,105
So what's one more day?
73
00:02:41,172 --> 00:02:43,173
Yes. Jay, I like your style.
74
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,509
If we cancel on the Sippr
guy, he may never come back.
75
00:02:46,576 --> 00:02:48,611
We'll be blowing a huge opportunity.
76
00:02:48,677 --> 00:02:50,746
As the wife of a robber baron,
77
00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:54,682
if I might just add, sometimes
one must skirt the law
78
00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:56,551
to advance one's own business.
79
00:02:56,618 --> 00:03:00,153
This is nuts. Serving alcohol without
a license is a criminal offense.
80
00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,755
What are the ghosts saying?
81
00:03:01,822 --> 00:03:03,290
Well, Hetty's saying sometimes you need
82
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,491
to bend the law in business,
83
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:05,925
and Pete's arguing against.
84
00:03:05,992 --> 00:03:08,961
And whose mansion are
we standing in right now?
85
00:03:09,028 --> 00:03:10,196
Okay, I had a three-bedroom
86
00:03:10,262 --> 00:03:11,997
in a very good school district.
87
00:03:12,063 --> 00:03:14,165
I guess it's just one more day.
88
00:03:14,232 --> 00:03:16,834
Yes, Sam! Let's break the damn law.
89
00:03:19,236 --> 00:03:20,971
And please enjoy this cheese platter
90
00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:22,772
while we wait for the
other guests to arrive.
91
00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:24,574
Thank you so much.
92
00:03:24,641 --> 00:03:26,609
Uh, Sam, why are we
wasting space on almonds?
93
00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:29,211
We need pungent. Where's the Roquefort?
94
00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:32,180
Who are the young folk?
95
00:03:32,247 --> 00:03:34,448
Ah, they're here for
the whiskey tasting.
96
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,317
She's an art history
major, and he's a frat guy
97
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,818
trying to prove he's not a douche
98
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,386
by bringing her to this classy event.
99
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,655
I am tired of people
stereotyping frat dudes.
100
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,123
We are just as refined as the next guy.
101
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:45,457
Babe, check it out.
102
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:46,725
Frog testicles.
103
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,161
Yes, he's a remarkable young man.
104
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:53,164
Damn, I miss my frat days.
Great friends, epic parties.
105
00:03:53,231 --> 00:03:54,866
Isaac knows what I'm talking about.
106
00:03:54,932 --> 00:03:56,900
- He was a Freemason.
- What's a Freemason?
107
00:03:56,967 --> 00:04:00,037
We were the original
fraternal organization.
108
00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:03,873
Ben Franklin, George
Washington, Samuel Adams
109
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,574
were counted amongst our membership.
110
00:04:05,641 --> 00:04:07,342
It was, like, crazy exclusive.
111
00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:08,743
The kid who played Chunk in Goonies
112
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,212
was in my pledge class, so I get it.
113
00:04:12,147 --> 00:04:13,514
Here's an idea.
114
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:15,182
What if we started our own fraternity?
115
00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:16,617
A ghost fraternity?
116
00:04:16,684 --> 00:04:19,452
- Oh, hell yes!
- A ghost fraternity?
117
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,220
Okay, but how is that any
different than all of us
118
00:04:21,287 --> 00:04:23,122
just hanging out like we always do?
119
00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:25,524
Because a fraternity has
rituals and traditions.
120
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:27,025
And a cool secret handshake!
121
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,694
Yes.
122
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,161
Also, it's slightly different
123
00:04:30,227 --> 00:04:31,595
than what we do every other day.
124
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:34,265
Yeah! Anything different is good.
125
00:04:34,332 --> 00:04:35,365
Okay, fine. I'm in.
126
00:04:35,432 --> 00:04:37,934
Flower, what do you say?
127
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,402
I forget what we were talking about.
128
00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:42,571
It's just like doing
bong hits with Chunk.
129
00:04:42,638 --> 00:04:45,741
I love it. This frat's gonna be amazing!
130
00:04:47,608 --> 00:04:49,177
Is that the guy from Sippr?
131
00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:52,012
Yep, and he is making
love to that whiskey.
132
00:04:52,079 --> 00:04:53,447
So what do you think?
133
00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:57,283
Notes of vanilla, dried fruit,
134
00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:59,485
a playful offering with which to start.
135
00:04:59,552 --> 00:05:01,020
Uh...
136
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:03,755
If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.
137
00:05:06,191 --> 00:05:08,426
- Hi. Jay Arondekar?
- Yes.
138
00:05:08,493 --> 00:05:11,528
My name's Sherry. I'm with the
Hudson Valley Liquor Authority.
139
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:13,764
Sam, we're being raided.
Toilet, sink or drink.
140
00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,431
You got to get rid of the hooch.
141
00:05:15,498 --> 00:05:18,601
I'm here to inspect your
property for a liquor license.
142
00:05:18,668 --> 00:05:20,669
Oh. I thought you couldn't come
143
00:05:20,736 --> 00:05:22,070
for, like, eight weeks.
144
00:05:22,137 --> 00:05:23,672
Well, today is your lucky day.
145
00:05:23,739 --> 00:05:25,207
I had a cancellation
and was told you folks
146
00:05:25,273 --> 00:05:27,208
are in a bit of a time crunch.
147
00:05:27,274 --> 00:05:28,876
Now isn't exactly the best time,
148
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:30,978
so maybe you could come
back, like, say, tomorrow?
149
00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:32,445
Once we arrive, if we're denied entry,
150
00:05:32,512 --> 00:05:35,115
- it's an automatic fail.
- Meaning...
151
00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:37,549
You'll have to wait a
year before you reapply.
152
00:05:37,616 --> 00:05:40,419
Okay, uh, would you
just hold on one moment?
153
00:05:40,486 --> 00:05:42,520
- No, wait... What?
- Thanks.
154
00:05:43,488 --> 00:05:44,922
This is not good.
155
00:05:44,989 --> 00:05:46,824
We can't be without a
liquor license for a year.
156
00:05:46,891 --> 00:05:48,692
We have to get the guests out of here.
157
00:05:48,759 --> 00:05:50,961
Wow. I guess someone's wishing
they listened to the fellow
158
00:05:51,027 --> 00:05:52,929
with the modest house after all, huh?
159
00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:55,398
What are we gonna do? Are we
gonna kick out the Sippr guy?
160
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:57,566
Can you imagine the review he'll write?
161
00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:58,667
He'll shred us.
162
00:05:58,734 --> 00:05:59,934
- I have an idea.
- What?
163
00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:01,001
I said, "He'll shred us."
164
00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:02,537
I was talking to Alberta.
165
00:06:02,604 --> 00:06:05,139
Okay, well, you can see how
it's confusing, though, right?
166
00:06:05,205 --> 00:06:07,074
Well, you have a bunch of booze
167
00:06:07,141 --> 00:06:08,409
and a bunch of thirsty customers
168
00:06:08,475 --> 00:06:10,943
with Johnny Law
breathing down your neck.
169
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:14,046
And you also have a secret
room with a hidden entrance.
170
00:06:14,113 --> 00:06:16,448
What are you saying, Alberta?
171
00:06:16,515 --> 00:06:18,650
Girl, I'm saying let's
do a damn speakeasy.
172
00:06:18,717 --> 00:06:21,019
Alberta's suggesting
that we sneak our guests
173
00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:22,720
into the vault and call it a speakeasy.
174
00:06:22,857 --> 00:06:24,692
That's a great idea.
175
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:27,294
It's cool, it's down
a secret passageway.
176
00:06:27,361 --> 00:06:28,995
That's what I'm saying!
177
00:06:29,062 --> 00:06:30,663
We could sell it as part
178
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:32,632
of the whiskey tasting
experience, make it our theme.
179
00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:34,766
I strongly advise against this.
180
00:06:34,833 --> 00:06:36,401
You're gonna run a
speakeasy in the house
181
00:06:36,468 --> 00:06:37,936
while that woman is
performing inspections?
182
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:39,002
This is crazy.
183
00:06:39,003 --> 00:06:41,572
Yes, Pete, apparently we are.
184
00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:43,708
Ooh, all right, Sam!
You won't regret it.
185
00:06:43,774 --> 00:06:45,775
Yeah, unless they get fined, arrested,
186
00:06:45,842 --> 00:06:47,043
or put out of business.
187
00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,606
Either way, it's gonna be a wild night.
188
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:57,477
- What's going on?
- It's 1928, and Johnny Law is hot on our tails.
189
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,352
Oh, is this like a speakeasy thing?
190
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,757
Yes, exactly. And as long as you
know the password... um, uh...
191
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,992
Arrow... nerd.
192
00:07:05,059 --> 00:07:07,129
Pretty sure Arrow would have sufficed.
193
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:08,230
Then you can come on in.
194
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,232
- Arrow nerd.
- You're in.
195
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,633
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
196
00:07:12,936 --> 00:07:15,104
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
197
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:23,314
So, uh, how long do you
think this is going to take?
198
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,717
Well, I need to check the common spaces,
199
00:07:25,784 --> 00:07:28,320
make sure there are an
appropriate number of egresses,
200
00:07:28,386 --> 00:07:31,257
look at the general sanitary conditions,
201
00:07:31,324 --> 00:07:34,126
ensure there's no pest
feces or active infestations.
202
00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:36,263
Cool. So, like, ten or 15 minutes?
203
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,265
This is going to take
several hours, sir.
204
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,435
Ooh, the Paper Mate 98 ball pen?
205
00:07:41,501 --> 00:07:43,605
Oh, this gal means business.
206
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:47,075
That baby glides. Ooh. Yeah.
207
00:07:47,141 --> 00:07:49,078
You've all been chosen as members
208
00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:53,917
of the inaugural class of the
very exclusive ghost fraternity.
209
00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:55,585
What makes it exclusive?
210
00:07:55,652 --> 00:07:57,320
Pete and Alberta aren't in it.
211
00:07:57,387 --> 00:07:59,189
Didn't they choose not to be in it?
212
00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:01,425
Be that as it may, they're out.
213
00:08:01,492 --> 00:08:04,228
Now, you may be
wondering, what is a frat?
214
00:08:04,295 --> 00:08:06,698
And the answer is an
organization that promotes
215
00:08:06,765 --> 00:08:08,033
high-minded conversations
216
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:09,968
- about philosophy, poetry and ethics.
- What?
217
00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:12,138
No, it's not that at all.
218
00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:14,674
It's about binge drinking, taking drugs,
219
00:08:14,741 --> 00:08:16,909
and doing one day of
charity every three years.
220
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:18,445
But, Trevor, we're ghosts.
221
00:08:18,512 --> 00:08:20,347
We can't do any of those things.
222
00:08:20,414 --> 00:08:22,616
Okay, fine, but we
don't have to be lame.
223
00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:25,754
We can do fun stuff,
like jumping off the roof.
224
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:27,756
Yes!
225
00:08:27,822 --> 00:08:29,258
Like ättestupa.
226
00:08:29,325 --> 00:08:31,727
In Viking society, when old people
227
00:08:31,794 --> 00:08:33,796
no longer able to support themselves,
228
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:35,365
we throw them off cliff.
229
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:37,401
Is very fun.
230
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:39,302
Just every story, man,
231
00:08:39,369 --> 00:08:41,139
- it just keeps getting darker.
- Yeah.
232
00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:44,542
Wouldn't everyone prefer
to plumb the depths
233
00:08:44,609 --> 00:08:46,812
of human knowledge and
learn timeless lessons
234
00:08:46,879 --> 00:08:50,315
about morality, like we
did in the Freemasons?
235
00:08:50,382 --> 00:08:52,284
Look, guys, I think we
have different visions
236
00:08:52,351 --> 00:08:53,853
of this thing, which is fine.
237
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,655
Doesn't mean that one's
better than the other.
238
00:08:55,722 --> 00:08:58,358
Just means that you
should start your own frat.
239
00:08:58,426 --> 00:09:01,062
And I'll do the cool one.
240
00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:03,264
So...
241
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:04,599
how's it going down here?
242
00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:06,568
A completely immersive experience
243
00:09:06,635 --> 00:09:08,537
to go along with the tasting. Well done.
244
00:09:08,603 --> 00:09:10,540
And the fake corpse...
That's a nice touch.
245
00:09:10,606 --> 00:09:13,276
Look, I can make him pick his nose.
246
00:09:14,077 --> 00:09:16,747
- That's great, Blane.
- Oh, they're being so loud.
247
00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:19,416
The inspector's going to
hear. This is so nerve-racking.
248
00:09:19,483 --> 00:09:21,518
Pete, this is living!
249
00:09:21,585 --> 00:09:23,755
Didn't you ever color outside the lines?
250
00:09:23,822 --> 00:09:25,423
Well, one time I was late for a movie,
251
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:27,292
so I parked in a loading zone.
252
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,328
It was a Sunday, so it
was probably allowed,
253
00:09:29,395 --> 00:09:31,530
but, man, it ruined Gremlins for me.
254
00:09:31,597 --> 00:09:33,800
We lived very different
lives, Pete Martino.
255
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:37,170
Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn!
256
00:09:37,237 --> 00:09:38,505
Jump, Thor!
257
00:09:38,572 --> 00:09:40,708
Now that Thor up here, it, uh...
258
00:09:40,775 --> 00:09:42,076
seems pretty high.
259
00:09:42,143 --> 00:09:45,781
Starting to feel bad for old
people we throw off cliff.
260
00:09:45,848 --> 00:09:48,584
You're a ghost. You'll be fine.
261
00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:50,185
Oh.
262
00:09:50,953 --> 00:09:53,156
Is this stove properly ventilated?
263
00:09:53,223 --> 00:09:55,225
Yes, I would assume it is.
264
00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:57,293
Well, you'd be surprised.
265
00:09:57,361 --> 00:09:59,296
A lot of these older
homes have renovations
266
00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:01,265
that were done without
proper permitting.
267
00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,134
Oh, my God!
268
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,904
Improper permitting, you say?
269
00:10:05,971 --> 00:10:08,406
Yes, it's a real problem.
270
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,879
- Thor rules!
- Oh, my God!
271
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,749
Best fraternity ever! Yes!
272
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,486
I'll be right back.
273
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,590
- Arrow nerd.
- Excuse me?
274
00:10:22,657 --> 00:10:25,093
Our buddy texted us
about a speakeasy here.
275
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,129
Oh, yeah, that's not
actually happening anymore.
276
00:10:27,196 --> 00:10:28,631
But he just texted us.
277
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:31,233
- Hey, yo, Blane!
- Okay, okay.
278
00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:32,368
It was a test.
279
00:10:32,434 --> 00:10:33,703
And you passed,
280
00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:35,639
so shut up, follow me, quietly.
281
00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,485
"Any moment might be our last,
282
00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:48,754
everything is more beautiful
because we are doomed."
283
00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,690
Anyone know from where those words come?
284
00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:52,959
- My worst nightmare?
- No.
285
00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:55,428
It's The Iliad!
286
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,798
This is the point of a
fraternal organization.
287
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,234
The Freemasons sought
to build moral character
288
00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:01,902
through study of the classics.
289
00:11:01,969 --> 00:11:04,005
"The classics."
290
00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:07,676
Hey, what's going on
lame-da, lame-da, lame-da?
291
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:10,479
- We're going to party in vault!
- You guys should come.
292
00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,615
No, rest assured, we're
quite fine in here.
293
00:11:12,682 --> 00:11:14,017
Suit yourself.
294
00:11:14,084 --> 00:11:16,453
Lame-da!
295
00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:21,392
Okay, where were we? Ah, yes.
296
00:11:21,459 --> 00:11:22,760
Throwing a party of our own.
297
00:11:22,827 --> 00:11:24,629
- I can't do this, man.
- What?
298
00:11:24,696 --> 00:11:26,532
Look, I joined your
frat 'cause I hate siding
299
00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:29,068
with Trevor on basically
anything, but...
300
00:11:29,134 --> 00:11:30,870
I just gotta get out of here.
301
00:11:34,975 --> 00:11:36,543
Well, it's just you and me, then.
302
00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:39,380
That was so rude of Sasappis
303
00:11:39,447 --> 00:11:40,882
just to leave us here like that.
304
00:11:40,948 --> 00:11:43,719
I think I should go give
him a piece of my mind.
305
00:11:43,785 --> 00:11:46,121
- You just want to go to the party, don't you?
- Desperately.
306
00:11:46,188 --> 00:11:48,590
Thank you for understanding. Oh!
307
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,096
HVU!
308
00:11:53,162 --> 00:11:55,466
- Go, Turtles!
- Man, these guys can drink.
309
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,468
I had two light beers
in college one night.
310
00:11:57,534 --> 00:11:59,803
Woke up in a trash
heap in northern Nevada.
311
00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:01,306
Ooh!
312
00:12:02,107 --> 00:12:05,277
Oh, well, well, well. Look
what the cat dragged in.
313
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:07,146
Yes, fine. We got bored. You win.
314
00:12:07,213 --> 00:12:09,649
Go ahead, do that weird
gesture with your hands
315
00:12:09,715 --> 00:12:12,818
- where you make a little "T."
- T-Money! Yeah, that one?
316
00:12:12,885 --> 00:12:14,621
- Ugh.
- Ugh. Good. Get it out of your system.
317
00:12:14,688 --> 00:12:16,590
Wait. Where's Isaac?
318
00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:18,659
Oh, uh, he's, uh, still
at the frat meeting.
319
00:12:18,725 --> 00:12:21,062
You left him at the meeting alone?
320
00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:24,065
- Yes, and we feel awful about it.
- Mm-hmm.
321
00:12:24,132 --> 00:12:25,768
Tiny hot dogs.
322
00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,037
Oh, they smell just as
good as the big boys.
323
00:12:29,772 --> 00:12:31,775
- Hey.
- Hi.
324
00:12:31,841 --> 00:12:33,243
So how's it going up there?
325
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:35,378
Slow. That lady is thorough.
326
00:12:35,445 --> 00:12:36,881
How's Sippr guy enjoying himself?
327
00:12:36,948 --> 00:12:38,716
He thinks that the high-end whiskey
328
00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:41,185
that we're serving him isn't "special."
329
00:12:41,252 --> 00:12:42,888
Uh, Sam, if I may,
330
00:12:42,955 --> 00:12:44,589
I know where you can get a whiskey
331
00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:46,692
that will knock this man's socks off.
332
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,228
- Am I holding for ghosts?
- Yup.
333
00:12:49,295 --> 00:12:51,164
My bootlegger boyfriend
stored booze upstairs
334
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,899
- the night I performed.
- Do you think it's still there?
335
00:12:53,966 --> 00:12:55,736
Oh, I know it is. I'll
take you right to it.
336
00:12:55,803 --> 00:12:58,439
Okay. Hey, uh, Elliot.
337
00:12:59,239 --> 00:13:02,110
Uh, how would you like to
try Prohibition-era whiskey
338
00:13:02,177 --> 00:13:05,513
stashed on this property
100 years ago by bootleggers?
339
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:07,016
I would like to try that very much.
340
00:13:07,083 --> 00:13:09,085
Great. Wait here and
we'll be right back.
341
00:13:09,151 --> 00:13:11,888
Uh, there is just one little problem.
342
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:14,725
- It's in the wall.
- Seriously?
343
00:13:14,791 --> 00:13:15,290
Damn it.
344
00:13:17,702 --> 00:13:21,113
Jay, Alberta said the
whiskey is still in the wall.
345
00:13:21,222 --> 00:13:22,345
Mm-hmm.
346
00:13:22,391 --> 00:13:23,826
Yep, it's still there.
347
00:13:23,893 --> 00:13:25,595
Oh, my precious booze.
348
00:13:25,661 --> 00:13:27,064
And also a possum skeleton.
349
00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:29,399
He died years before you guys moved in.
350
00:13:29,466 --> 00:13:31,034
Cute little guy. You know, pre-rotting.
351
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,604
All right, I'm all
done with my inspection.
352
00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:35,406
- Everything looks good.
- Oh!
353
00:13:35,473 --> 00:13:36,975
Great. So you're leaving?
354
00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:40,178
Yup, just as soon as I fill
out the requisite paperwork.
355
00:13:40,245 --> 00:13:42,081
Okay if I set up shop in the kitchen?
356
00:13:42,148 --> 00:13:45,417
Uh... Why don't you use the library?
357
00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:48,888
- It's more comfortable.
- Or the upstairs den.
358
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,757
Very end of the hall. Quiet.
359
00:13:50,824 --> 00:13:53,426
No, the kitchen's fine.
360
00:13:54,961 --> 00:13:56,630
This is insane.
361
00:13:56,696 --> 00:13:58,800
There's no way we can
break a hole in this wall
362
00:13:58,866 --> 00:14:00,802
without Sherry hearing us.
363
00:14:00,868 --> 00:14:02,436
Okay, I have an idea.
364
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,238
We Shawshank it.
365
00:14:05,474 --> 00:14:08,110
Shawshank Redemption. The movie.
366
00:14:08,177 --> 00:14:10,512
- I still haven't seen it.
- Seriously?
367
00:14:10,579 --> 00:14:12,447
- Sam, it's on, like, four times a day.
- Okay.
368
00:14:12,514 --> 00:14:14,484
In that movie, the
main guy, Andy Dufresne,
369
00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:16,352
he escapes from prison by
crawling through a pipe,
370
00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:18,221
and what he does is
he waits for a storm,
371
00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:20,223
and then he uses the cracks
of thunder to cover up
372
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,593
when he hits the pipe with a rock.
373
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:25,129
So you're saying we
should wait for a storm?
374
00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:30,302
No, babe, I'm saying
we make our own storm.
375
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:34,472
Is anyone else turned on right now?
376
00:14:34,539 --> 00:14:35,807
A little.
377
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,912
This woman is a machine! Working in pen,
378
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,981
no cross-outs, really focused.
379
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,683
Oh, Jay looks like he's gearing up, Sam.
380
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,285
Oh, don't mind me.
381
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,387
I'm just gonna tenderize a little meat.
382
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,822
No problem.
383
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,991
And now!
384
00:14:52,894 --> 00:14:54,095
And now!
385
00:14:57,332 --> 00:14:58,833
And now!
386
00:15:01,136 --> 00:15:04,840
Oh, that's a beefy rib-eye.
387
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:07,944
Oh, my God.
388
00:15:09,646 --> 00:15:12,148
Ooh-whee! Yes.
389
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,618
That's some sweet Kentucky bath water.
390
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:17,388
Mm, and one nasty-ass possum.
391
00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:24,229
Hey, I've been looking for you, bud.
392
00:15:24,296 --> 00:15:26,131
I suppose you've come to gloat
393
00:15:26,198 --> 00:15:28,133
about your fraternity vanquishing mine.
394
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,904
No, I came to invite you downstairs.
395
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,839
It may not be a Masonic lodge,
396
00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:34,874
but speakeasy's pretty cool.
397
00:15:34,941 --> 00:15:36,509
And we missed you.
398
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,513
Well, the truth is, I wouldn't even know
399
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:42,182
what the inside of a
Masonic lodge looked like.
400
00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:43,918
What are you talking about?
401
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,619
Was it all freaky blindfolded stuff?
402
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:47,422
No, Trevor.
403
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:52,460
Despite my claims, I never
actually was a Freemason.
404
00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,666
Wow!
405
00:15:56,732 --> 00:16:00,436
I had heard the rumors,
but that is a big carriage.
406
00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:03,173
Well, it doesn't get the
best miles per bale of hay,
407
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,608
but, uh, she sure is roomy.
408
00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:05,943
Indeed. Indeed.
409
00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:08,378
And a good thing too, Higgintoot,
410
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,481
because I've invited you here today
411
00:16:10,548 --> 00:16:12,784
because I would like you
412
00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:16,454
to take a large oak
desk to John Jay's house.
413
00:16:18,157 --> 00:16:19,892
You mean... You mean after the meeting?
414
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:21,593
After the...
415
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,829
Oh, dear.
416
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,699
You thought I was inviting you
417
00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,867
to the Freemasons meeting.
418
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:31,604
- Oh...
- I mean, I... I mean, no.
419
00:16:31,671 --> 00:16:34,408
Look, after John Jay's,
why don't you come back?
420
00:16:34,475 --> 00:16:35,776
Really?
421
00:16:35,843 --> 00:16:39,380
Oh, darn it! I've done
it again, haven't I?
422
00:16:39,447 --> 00:16:42,084
I simply meant in case
any of the Freemasons
423
00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,485
needed a ride home.
424
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:45,487
I am sorry.
425
00:16:48,858 --> 00:16:51,561
So, when I got the chance
to start my own fraternity,
426
00:16:51,627 --> 00:16:53,730
I decided to turn it
into the Freemasons,
427
00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:55,131
so I could finally belong.
428
00:16:55,198 --> 00:16:58,168
But here I am, rejected once again.
429
00:16:58,235 --> 00:17:00,170
They didn't reject you today.
430
00:17:00,237 --> 00:17:01,472
They rejected being in the Freemasons,
431
00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:03,073
Which makes sense, 'cause it seems
432
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:04,576
like the Freemasons kind of sucked.
433
00:17:04,642 --> 00:17:06,545
And Ben Franklin... I hate to say this,
434
00:17:06,612 --> 00:17:08,413
as a Penn guy... sounds like a dick.
435
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,982
He was a bit full of himself.
436
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:13,152
Although, he did discover electricity.
437
00:17:13,219 --> 00:17:15,421
Like they weren't gonna find that.
438
00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:18,024
Look, I didn't get into
my first choice frat,
439
00:17:18,090 --> 00:17:19,392
but the guys I ended up with
440
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:20,994
turned out to be my best friends.
441
00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:23,663
Didn't one of them dump
your dead body into a lake?
442
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:27,602
The point is, you may
not have chosen us ghosts,
443
00:17:27,668 --> 00:17:29,270
but you're here now,
444
00:17:29,337 --> 00:17:31,072
and we're lucky to have you.
445
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,408
Thank you, Trevor.
446
00:17:33,474 --> 00:17:35,411
You know, there's a statue
447
00:17:35,477 --> 00:17:37,312
of Ben Franklin on campus at Penn,
448
00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:38,647
him sitting on a bench.
449
00:17:38,714 --> 00:17:39,982
Ugh, of course there is.
450
00:17:40,049 --> 00:17:41,884
Why are you telling me this?
451
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,153
Because every weekend,
452
00:17:43,219 --> 00:17:45,088
kids get drunk and pee all over it.
453
00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:46,856
Oh.
454
00:17:47,003 --> 00:17:49,272
Oh, Trevor...
455
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:52,443
What a gift you've given me.
456
00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:55,379
So, what do you think?
457
00:17:55,446 --> 00:17:58,015
I have never had anything like it.
458
00:17:58,082 --> 00:18:00,118
I feel like I've been training
my whole life for this.
459
00:18:00,185 --> 00:18:01,553
Cheers.
460
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:04,823
Little tip, Sam.
461
00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:06,726
You and Jay wait 20
minutes before drinking it,
462
00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:08,561
see if any of these folks go blind.
463
00:18:09,929 --> 00:18:12,532
I can't believe it.
We pass our inspection,
464
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:14,401
we nail the whiskey tasting.
465
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,669
Are we great business people?
466
00:18:15,736 --> 00:18:18,338
We might be.
467
00:18:18,405 --> 00:18:21,675
Oh, what a night. That was fun.
468
00:18:21,742 --> 00:18:23,478
I gotta admit, I was nervous at first,
469
00:18:23,545 --> 00:18:25,446
but then I started to,
you know, get into it.
470
00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:27,949
Ooh, see? Being bad feels pretty good.
471
00:18:28,016 --> 00:18:29,417
- Doesn't it?
- It was exciting.
472
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,687
That's why you gotta take
risks every now and then.
473
00:18:31,754 --> 00:18:34,523
Yeah, you're right.
You're totally right.
474
00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,892
Pete, you spent your
whole life being afraid.
475
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:39,829
Don't make that same
mistake in your afterlife.
476
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:41,932
Just go for it.
477
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:43,500
Okay.
478
00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:46,337
Whoa!
479
00:18:47,371 --> 00:18:51,042
Okay. You're gonna see this as a defeat,
480
00:18:51,108 --> 00:18:53,712
but this is a proud moment for you,
481
00:18:53,779 --> 00:18:56,181
and I want you to acknowledge that.
482
00:18:56,248 --> 00:18:57,783
Okay, I feel... I feel proud.
483
00:18:57,849 --> 00:18:59,585
Good.
484
00:19:04,757 --> 00:19:10,431
Hey, to the ghost frat and its
founding member, Isaac Higgintoot.
485
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,266
Huzzah!
486
00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:13,834
Yeah!
487
00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:18,873
What an event. I mean,
hats off to you both.
488
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,610
Someone is gonna get a
very nice review in Sippr.
489
00:19:21,676 --> 00:19:23,378
That's great. Uh, thank you.
490
00:19:23,445 --> 00:19:26,482
I mean, I really don't understand
your business model at all.
491
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:28,184
Just giving away $5,000
bottles of vintage whiskey,
492
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,253
but I am not complaining.
493
00:19:33,523 --> 00:19:35,259
Did he say $5,000?
494
00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:39,931
Yeah!
495
00:19:39,998 --> 00:19:43,401
Are we bad business people?
496
00:19:43,468 --> 00:19:44,517
We might be.
497
00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:47,630
You know, I think it's smart
498
00:19:47,631 --> 00:19:48,892
you're saving a little
money doing this yourselves.
499
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:52,715
Totally. Now we're only 30 grand
down from the whole whiskey thing.
500
00:19:54,016 --> 00:19:55,788
Hey, wait a minute.
501
00:19:55,788 --> 00:19:56,999
What is this?
502
00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:58,144
It's a letter.
503
00:19:58,211 --> 00:20:00,231
Does possum have pen pal?
504
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,646
Open it up, Sam.
505
00:20:02,487 --> 00:20:03,631
"My dearest Earl... "
506
00:20:03,699 --> 00:20:05,921
That was my bootlegger boyfriend.
507
00:20:05,988 --> 00:20:08,412
The letter must have
fallen out of the crate.
508
00:20:08,479 --> 00:20:10,399
"I can't wait for us to be together
509
00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:12,082
once we get rid of you-know-who."
510
00:20:12,149 --> 00:20:13,698
Signed, T.
511
00:20:13,765 --> 00:20:14,943
"Get rid of... ?"
512
00:20:15,011 --> 00:20:16,694
Sam. This might have something to do
513
00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:19,892
- with Alberta's murder.
- Did Earl knock me off?
514
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,990
Or maybe it was T.
But who the hell is T?
515
00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:26,457
Samantha, fire up that podcast machine.
516
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:29,083
We've got two new suspects.
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