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1
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,824
'So that's what you look like.
2
00:00:35,117 --> 00:00:36,993
'You're ugly! Horrible!
3
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,414
'Go on. Try your intellect on me.'
4
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,667
'I'll see you in hell first!'
5
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:48,672
'Stop!'
6
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,635
'Let's get out of here!'
7
00:00:53,469 --> 00:00:54,845
'Cease firing.'
8
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:10,736
- 'He acted like he knew it.'
- 'He did.
9
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:14,823
'He learned almost too late
that man is a feeling creature.
10
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,535
'And because of it
the greatest in the universe.
11
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:23,999
'There is hope,
but it has to come from man himself.'
12
00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:28,003
I have to go.
I'm gonna eat now.
13
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,505
Hold on. Just a second.
14
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,889
'Hello, darling. It's me again.
15
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,933
'Yours cruelly, Elvira.
16
00:01:41,058 --> 00:01:44,644
'The gal with the enormous...
uh, ratings. Hmm.
17
00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:46,605
'Well, that's our show.
18
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,526
'I hope you enjoyed watching it
as much as I did.'
19
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,572
Oh, boy. I mean, could you believe
that cheesy-looking monster?
20
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,825
Looked like Gumby on steroids.
21
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,118
Well, at least
the movie had a moral.
22
00:02:00,244 --> 00:02:01,954
Where's the shrimp?
23
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,790
Are you ready for the news?
24
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,335
Does anybody know
what that movie was about?
25
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:12,339
Uh, I'll tell you what it was about.
It was about an hour and half too long!
26
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,300
- Cut.
- Hmm. Oh...
27
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,344
And, uh, don't forget next week,
it's "The Head with Two Things"...
28
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,388
Uh, I mean,
"The Thing with Two Heads".
29
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:21,890
And until then this is Elvira,
30
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,602
the gal who put the boob
back into boob tube,
31
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:29,022
saying unpleasant dreams.
32
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,237
- Got the news in one minute.
- Very nice.
33
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,240
Hey! Put me down, will ya?
34
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,326
How do you expect me
to fix your hair...?
35
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,785
Oh, idiot!
36
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,958
Is there anything
that could possibly shame you?
37
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,753
Yeah. Wearing this
in a public place might do it.
38
00:02:50,878 --> 00:02:52,212
Ha!
39
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,383
Get it, girlfriend!
40
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,427
You got your news and counting?
41
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,889
- Elvira.
- Not now, Rudy.
42
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:05,058
Wait a sec, wait a sec.
See, see that guy over there?
43
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,894
What, the lard bucket
in the ten-gallon hat?
44
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,771
Yes, that's the station new owner.
45
00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:13,150
From the edge of the sea
to the end of the valley...
46
00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:14,651
- You what?
- Shut up!
47
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,403
Relax, relax.
48
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,322
This guy's a millionaire, OK?
49
00:03:19,156 --> 00:03:20,490
Mr. Hooter...
50
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,744
...this is, uh, Elvira.
51
00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:28,623
Name's Earl, but the ladies back home
call me Longhorn.
52
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,210
Maybe you can guess why.
53
00:03:31,335 --> 00:03:34,796
Gee, I... I don't know. Does
it have anything to do with your breath?
54
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,425
Why don't we let this little filly
get herself gussied up? And...
55
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,137
...the sooner I get in the saddle,
the better.
56
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,807
Well, sorry, partner.
57
00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:48,143
But it looks like it's gonna be you
and your trusty old right hand.
58
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:51,939
Sounds like you're looking
to get yourself fired, little lady.
59
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:53,398
Huh! Go ahead and fire me.
60
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,901
I need this job like a leper
needs a three-way mirror!
61
00:03:56,026 --> 00:04:00,071
It just so happens
I have an act opening up in Las Vegas.
62
00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:04,659
Oh, terrific. You can try your act
out on me. It's milkin' time!
63
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,414
That's it! I'm walkin'!
64
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,332
I don't have to take this
from anybody!
65
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,918
And as for you,
you cretinous cowpoke...
66
00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:14,335
Whoa! She's got Hooter!
67
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,672
Somebody on the floor,
get her out of there.
68
00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:18,590
...within so much as ten feet of me
69
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,176
and I'm gonna tie your weenie
in a granny knot!
70
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,512
Whoa!
71
00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:25,513
You said she was a nympho.
72
00:04:25,639 --> 00:04:30,139
Come on, will you?
Not the ball game! Oh!
73
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,146
- You can't quit!
- What's the big deal?
74
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:34,856
As soon as my show opens
in Las Vegas,
75
00:04:34,982 --> 00:04:38,068
I never have to host
one of those crap horror movies again.
76
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,280
- There's no problem with the show?
- Problem?
77
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,200
Complications maybe,
but never a problem.
78
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,244
All right. Out with it, Manny.
79
00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:49,954
OK. The Flamingo won't...
80
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,498
...won't go ahead
with the show
81
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,667
unless you come up
with some money.
82
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,338
- Well, how much do they want?
- 50,000 dollars.
83
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:01,508
50,000 dollars?
Are you nuts?
84
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,094
Where am I gonna
come up with that kind of money?
85
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,597
Maybe it's not too late
to get your job back.
86
00:05:06,722 --> 00:05:09,641
Forget it, Manny. I'm never working
for that sleazeball again!
87
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:13,520
I'll just have to find
another sleazeball.
88
00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:17,440
- Ooh!
- A telegram for Miss Elvira.
89
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:18,984
I'll take it.
90
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:26,909
"Dear Elvira, as executor of the estate
of your great-aunt, Miss Morgana Talbot,
91
00:05:27,034 --> 00:05:31,079
"I'm sorry to inform you
of her un... timely passing."
92
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,082
Whoa! I didn't even know I had a good aunt,
much less a great one.
93
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,542
Let me see that.
94
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,588
Says here all I have to do
is come to Fallwell, Massachusetts,
95
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,590
for the reading of the will
and I'll pick up my inheritance!
96
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,968
Is that timing or what?
97
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:53,477
"And lastly
to my enchanting niece Elvira,
98
00:05:53,602 --> 00:05:55,770
"who has unflinchingly withstood
99
00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:58,648
"the slings and arrows
of an imperfect world
100
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,735
"without so much
as a whimper or a complaint..."
101
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,445
Mm.
102
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:07,324
...I bequeath my entire fortune."
103
00:06:07,449 --> 00:06:08,825
Oh.
104
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:15,833
Let's show Elvira
exactly what she's inherited!
105
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:26,172
Elvira, you are going to start
with something that dreams are made of.
106
00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:28,803
A beautiful new sailboat!
107
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,932
You're going to sail away
108
00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:35,977
in a sporty Sunchaser II from Snark.
109
00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,229
And that's not all.
110
00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:38,813
When you're tired of sailing,
111
00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:43,234
you'll drive home
in this brand-new Jeep Wrangler!
112
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,861
I needed one of those!
113
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:49,449
And you'll sit down to dinner at
this beautiful ten-piece dining-room suite
114
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,410
from American Heritage.
115
00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:55,580
And top... and top of all of that...
116
00:06:57,249 --> 00:06:59,000
...money!
117
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:02,546
Lots and lots of money!
118
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,512
Elvira? Elvira, are you all right?
119
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,098
Hm. Go ahead
and call The Flamingo, Manny.
120
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:14,557
Tell 'em I'll have that 50 grand
121
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:16,601
as soon as I get back
from Massachusetts.
122
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:19,395
Las Vegas, here I come!
123
00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:24,234
♪ Hey, hey
124
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,279
♪ Hey, hey...
125
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,532
♪ Hey, hey
126
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:36,246
{\an8}♪ Hey, hey
I've been around round and round
127
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:40,376
{\an8}♪ I broke it up
cos you shot me down, down, yeah
128
00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:43,169
{\an8}♪ Oh, yeah...
129
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:44,421
{\an8}
130
00:07:44,546 --> 00:07:46,130
Hop in, sailor!
131
00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:48,716
♪ I took a ride on your winding road
132
00:07:48,842 --> 00:07:52,428
♪ Told you some secrets
I ain't ever told before...
133
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,100
♪ No more...
134
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,309
{\an8}
135
00:07:58,143 --> 00:08:00,895
♪ So if you wanna meet
in the halfway...
136
00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:02,772
Here. You forgot your axe!
137
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:08,278
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
138
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:14,280
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
139
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,790
{\an8}♪ There's a place
just down the road
140
00:08:19,915 --> 00:08:22,167
{\an8}♪ Where the little ones
have fallen souls
141
00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:24,043
{\an8}♪ Oh, yeah
142
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,131
{\an8}♪ Oh, yeah...
143
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,174
{\an8}
144
00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:32,260
♪ Take me to Shanghai,
take me away
145
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:35,597
♪ I need a rest
from this crazy masquerade...
146
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,600
You know you were doing 50
in a 25 mile-per-hour zone?
147
00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:42,103
Uh, no. But if you hum a few bars,
I'll fake it.
148
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,487
Oh, I gotta get a new joke.
149
00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:52,280
This one's costing me a fortune.
150
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:56,952
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
151
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,081
♪ Huh...
152
00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:13,051
{\an8}♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪
153
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,347
{\an8}
154
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,017
♪ I go inside
and order some chicken-fried steak...
155
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,477
Hey! How about some gas?
156
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,104
♪ Chicken-fried steak
157
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:27,398
♪ Oh, chicken-fried steak
158
00:09:27,524 --> 00:09:29,234
♪ Potatoes and gravy
159
00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:31,110
♪ And peas on a plate...
160
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,613
This...
161
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,991
♪ Don't make no mistake
162
00:09:36,533 --> 00:09:40,828
♪ There ain't nothing better
than chicken-fried steak
163
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:44,749
♪ Well, the first bite
is the best bite
164
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,294
♪ It's the one that sets me free
165
00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:49,754
♪ Smothered in some gravy
166
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,923
♪ It drips all over me
167
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,593
♪ I can sink down into it
168
00:09:55,719 --> 00:09:58,263
♪ It's more than I can take
169
00:09:58,388 --> 00:10:02,725
♪ When I started chewing
on that chicken-fried steak
170
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,104
♪ Chicken-fried steak
171
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,607
♪ Oh, chicken-fried steak
172
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,151
{\an8}♪ Potatoes and gravy
173
00:10:11,276 --> 00:10:13,152
{\an8}♪ And peas on a plate...
174
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:16,281
{\an8}-
- You know, those things'll kill ya.
175
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,202
{\An8}Have a nice day!
176
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:23,079
♪ Chicken-fried steak
177
00:10:24,164 --> 00:10:28,001
{\an8}♪ If there ever comes a time,
I get my gun and I go wrong...
178
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,461
{\an8}
179
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:31,671
{\an8}♪ And the judge says I must die
180
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,799
♪ Or the jury wants me gone... ♪
181
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,550
{\an8}
182
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,398
♪ Hey, hey, hey
183
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:02,410
♪ Ow
184
00:11:04,746 --> 00:11:07,707
♪ Just like a cat on a hot tin roof
185
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,334
♪ Feel I'm feminine
186
00:11:09,459 --> 00:11:10,793
♪ Why can't you lose her?
187
00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:14,881
♪ Once bitten, twice shy
188
00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:20,883
♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
189
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:22,555
Hi.
190
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:27,181
{\An8}♪ I said once bitten, twice shy
191
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:32,607
{\an8}♪ I said once bitten, twice...
192
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,443
{\an8}
193
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:39,280
{\an8}
194
00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:48,873
{\an9}♪ So, if you wanna meet
in the halfway
195
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:50,625
{\an9}♪ Too damn bad
196
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:55,835
{\an9}♪ I said once bitten,
twice shy...
197
00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:57,298
{\an8}
198
00:11:57,424 --> 00:12:01,924
{\an8}- ♪ I said once bitten, twice shy...
199
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:04,764
{\an8}♪ Huh... ♪
200
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,143
I can make darn sure he doesn't get it.
I have my ways, you know.
201
00:12:17,152 --> 00:12:20,071
- Keep the kids back, honey.
- Well!
202
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:22,574
Ooh! Ooh!
203
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,118
Well, I never!
204
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,704
Yeah, and you never will
with them soup cans on your head.
205
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:31,666
Listen, young lady, I don't know
who you are or where you came from,
206
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,211
but you most certainly
don't fit in this town.
207
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,296
Why, you don't even fit
in that dress.
208
00:12:37,714 --> 00:12:41,259
Listen, sister, if I want your opinion,
I'll beat it out of ya.
209
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,595
Anita!
210
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,931
Anita! It's the Antichrist, I tell you.
The Antichrist!
211
00:12:47,474 --> 00:12:49,934
Can someone tell me
where there's a garage around here?
212
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,103
Yeah, yeah.
There's one right up the street.
213
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,397
Oh.
214
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,317
Well, uh, would one of you
big strong men
215
00:12:57,442 --> 00:12:59,944
mind give me a little push?
216
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,870
Easy, easy.
Don't scratch the paint.
217
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,419
She's incredible.
218
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,047
And what I wouldn't do
for just one peek at those gazongas.
219
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,506
They're unreal!
220
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:24,261
Oh, great!
That means I'm stuck in this hellhole!
221
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,846
I mean, this quaint little hellhole.
222
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,641
Uh, listen, is there a motel
or somethin' around here?
223
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:34,020
Well, there's the Cozy Cot
down by the widow Bishop's feed store.
224
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:38,646
Of course, her son sort of took that over
after she had that spell of gingivitis.
225
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:43,400
Her whole mouth swole up.
It looked like she ate a box of staples.
226
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,991
Folks were saying she got it from kissin'
that old dog of hers.
227
00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:51,704
Nice tits.
228
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,052
Yoo-hoo!
229
00:14:08,972 --> 00:14:10,848
Can I have a room?
230
00:14:16,271 --> 00:14:17,814
Sorry. We're booked solid.
231
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:19,857
So how it come
it says "vacancy" out there?
232
00:14:25,822 --> 00:14:28,115
Look, we do have a room.
233
00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:29,992
Remember the trucker
with the bad skin
234
00:14:30,118 --> 00:14:31,327
that checked out this morning?
235
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:33,413
Eew. I hope you changed the sheets.
236
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,795
Hi.
237
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,924
Is that makeup
I see on your face, young lady?
238
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,217
Hm... No, ma'am.
239
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,636
I mean, yes, ma'am.
Well, just a little.
240
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,182
How many times have I told you?
You're too young to wear makeup.
241
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:54,851
- No, Mother, I don't see the harm...
- Shut up, Leslie!
242
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:57,186
Grandma, all the other girls at school
are wearing makeup.
243
00:14:57,312 --> 00:15:00,273
Well, if all the other girls at school
jumped off a cliff,
244
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,733
would you jump off a cliff?
245
00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:06,320
You don't have the sense
that you were born with! You have...
246
00:15:06,446 --> 00:15:09,907
I hate to interrupt this little episode
of "The Waltons" but could I get a room?
247
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,204
OK, but it's cash upfront.
248
00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:17,957
I know what you pinko,
heavy metal weirdos
249
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,793
do to motel rooms.
250
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:22,503
Read all about it in "The Star".
251
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,547
I'll, uh, I'll show the lady
to her room.
252
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,007
Oh, no, you don't!
253
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,893
Hey, don't let them get you down.
254
00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:38,519
I used to get the same line
about makeup
255
00:15:38,645 --> 00:15:40,313
from the nuns
at the orphanage.
256
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,815
Of course, I was only eight.
257
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,776
Uh... I'm Elvira.
258
00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,527
I'm Robin.
259
00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:49,947
So, um, Robin, what's there to do
for fun around here, anyway?
260
00:15:50,657 --> 00:15:53,743
- Hmm. This town isn't real big on fun.
- Hm.
261
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,038
Well, there is one place that's open.
The bowling alley.
262
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,999
That gets real wild
on League Night.
263
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:02,252
Gee, I think I can handle it.
264
00:16:11,052 --> 00:16:13,137
Oh, I am so sure.
265
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,223
They must think we're really stupid.
266
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:17,683
They're gonna kill Spider-Man
with plutonium?
267
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,644
He's got radioactive blood.
268
00:16:20,228 --> 00:16:22,730
Yeah? Let me see that.
269
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,653
- Hey, man. What did you do that for?
- Shut up!
270
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,121
Look at what just walked in.
271
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:48,381
Ooh, uh, Bloody Mary.
272
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,426
No hard liquor served past eight o'clock.
Do you want a Virgin?
273
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,929
Uh, maybe, but, uh, I'll have
a couple of drinks first.
274
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,514
Mm. Uh.
275
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,401
Hey, baby.
276
00:17:08,985 --> 00:17:10,569
I got somethin' to show you.
277
00:17:12,113 --> 00:17:14,490
Sorry.
Left my magnifying glass at home.
278
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,788
Hey, that's pretty good. Billy...
279
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,750
that is no way to talk to a lady.
280
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,669
So... how about a blowjob?
281
00:17:43,478 --> 00:17:44,812
Ah...
282
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,192
I bet you think that was pretty funny,
don't ya?
283
00:17:49,317 --> 00:17:50,318
I enjoyed it.
284
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,028
Yeah? You're gonna enjoy
this even more.
285
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,864
- Uh, uh, uh.
- I'll cut you, man!
286
00:17:55,865 --> 00:17:57,283
Oh! She stabbed me!
287
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,538
- Faked ya out.
- Yeah, well, this ain't fake, baby!
288
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,873
So stand still
cos I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
289
00:18:10,338 --> 00:18:14,508
Um, my name is Elvira,
but you can call me... tonight.
290
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,388
Hmm. I'm Bob. Bob Redding.
291
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,265
Pleased to meet you.
292
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:23,893
Look at this mess.
Who the heck is gonna pay for it?
293
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:26,271
It's all right, Patty.
I'll take care of the damages.
294
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:30,149
Seems to me
it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
295
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,277
Cheap? Who are you calling cheap?
296
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,029
What's that perfume you're wearing?
Catch of the day?
297
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:38,741
Look, honey, I don't know
which hole you crawled out of,
298
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,203
but I suggest you crawl right back in
if you know what's good for you.
299
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,372
Yeah, you better watch out.
300
00:18:44,497 --> 00:18:46,373
You could put somebody's eyes out
with them things.
301
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,252
Hmm.
302
00:18:49,377 --> 00:18:50,878
- Break it up.
- We better go.
303
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:57,718
It looks like
you've got some competition, Patty.
304
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:04,017
Charlie, trash
does not compete with class.
305
00:19:06,811 --> 00:19:09,980
Right down the street
at the Cozy Cot.
306
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,440
Oh.
307
00:19:12,108 --> 00:19:13,692
So, what brought you to Fallwell?
308
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:15,528
Um, my car.
309
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:20,992
No, I'm here for the
reading of my great-aunt Morgana's will.
310
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:24,328
Morgana Talbot? She's your aunt?
311
00:19:24,996 --> 00:19:27,623
Yeah, came as a surprise to me too.
312
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,918
I never really knew her,
but I sure admired her spunk.
313
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,838
She never caved in the way
everybody else in this town has.
314
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,300
Well, I don't wanna bore you
with local politics.
315
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:41,387
Go ahead. Bore me.
316
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:45,433
OK, we've got this town council
that lives in mortal fear
317
00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:49,478
that somewhere, somehow, somebody
in Fallwell's having a good time.
318
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:52,106
Oh.
Bunch of real preservatives, huh?
319
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,108
Oh.
320
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:58,947
- I run the movie house.
- Oh, really? I'm in movies too!
321
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:02,033
Have you ever shown,
uh, um, "I Married Satan"?
322
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,659
No.
323
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,120
How about the sequel,
"I Married Satan 2?"
324
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:07,746
No.
325
00:20:08,998 --> 00:20:10,374
Uh... Hm.
326
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,378
I, uh... I can only play G-rated movies.
327
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,880
Oh, well, there's nothing wrong
with G-rated movies,
328
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,465
as long as there's lots
of sex and violence.
329
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:20,467
Um, hey, listen, Bob. Hmm.
330
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:22,970
I'm only gonna be in town
for a couple of days
331
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:26,849
and... I can't think of anyone
who I'd rather squeeze into my...
332
00:20:28,059 --> 00:20:29,852
...agenda.
333
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:31,937
Gee, that'd be swell.
334
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,671
Oh, Mr. Talbot.
335
00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:01,797
Your sister was like a mother to me.
336
00:21:01,926 --> 00:21:04,136
She was a mother to me too, dear.
337
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:08,224
Well, now that we've dispensed with
the obligatory display of bereavement,
338
00:21:08,349 --> 00:21:10,726
you may begin the proceedings,
Mr. Bigelow.
339
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,145
Uh, it was Mrs. Talbot's wish
340
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:16,232
to have all of her relatives present
for the reading of the will.
341
00:21:16,357 --> 00:21:20,857
All of her relatives are present,
me, myself and I.
342
00:21:24,699 --> 00:21:28,285
Well, apparently,
Mrs. Talbot has a grand-niece, Elvira,
343
00:21:28,411 --> 00:21:30,830
who was also
one of the beneficiaries.
344
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:33,332
- That's impossible.
- Uh, uh, well...
345
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,752
Who is this grand-niece?
346
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:41,090
Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late,
but then so's my aunt!
347
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,635
Hey, what she die of?
Nothing serious I hope.
348
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,345
Say, nice jacket.
Who shot the couch?
349
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,974
Hey, is there
a bathroom around here?
350
00:21:50,099 --> 00:21:51,725
I'm telling you the toilet
over the Cozy Cot
351
00:21:51,851 --> 00:21:53,811
looks like somebody's science project.
352
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:55,939
Who is this woman?
353
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:59,525
This must be Mrs. Talbot's grand-niece.
354
00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:04,735
Uh, Elvira, this is your great-aunt's
brother, Vincent Talbot.
355
00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:08,535
She was my aunt
and you're her brother.
356
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:12,288
Then you must be my Uncle Vinnie!
357
00:22:12,413 --> 00:22:14,498
Get this woman off of me!
358
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:18,627
Oh, and you must be
Auntie Em and Uncle Remus.
359
00:22:18,753 --> 00:22:23,007
Oh! There's no place like home!
There's no place like home!
360
00:22:23,132 --> 00:22:26,176
Hurry up, Bigelow.
Let's get on with it!
361
00:22:26,302 --> 00:22:29,179
Yeah, really. Let's get going
before somebody else dies!
362
00:22:31,057 --> 00:22:33,100
Ooh.
363
00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:38,522
Hm, uh, "This is the certified
and only last will and testament
364
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:41,317
"of the deceased Morgana Talbot.
365
00:22:41,442 --> 00:22:45,654
"To my housekeeper, Mrs. Morrissey,
for years of loyalty and devotion,
366
00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:49,867
"I leave my silver tea service
and a cash allotment of 5,000 dollars."
367
00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:51,536
Oh.
368
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,123
Hey, babe, what you whining about?
369
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:56,874
You made out like a bandit.
370
00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,252
"To Mr. Morrissey, my driver,
371
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:04,507
"I leave my automobile
and an allotment of 5,000 dollars."
372
00:23:04,632 --> 00:23:07,259
Whoa, dude!
Ten grand just for the help?
373
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:09,804
Ha! That old gal
must have really been loaded!
374
00:23:09,929 --> 00:23:14,429
Oh, I mean, dear sweet Aunt Morgana
certainly was generous.
375
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:17,270
What's it say about me?
What I get? What I get? What I get?
376
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:19,605
Uh...
377
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:23,651
- "To my grand-niece Elvira..."
- Come on. Lay it on me, Aunt Morgana.
378
00:23:23,776 --> 00:23:25,986
Big bucks! Big bucks!
379
00:23:26,112 --> 00:23:27,571
Uh, uh...
380
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:32,781
Uh, uh, "I bequeath my house,
my beloved poodle, Algonquin
381
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,622
"and my precious book of recipes."
382
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,458
That's it?
A house, a dog and a book?
383
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,086
Please, if you will allow me to finish.
384
00:23:43,254 --> 00:23:45,923
"And finally, to my dear brother, Vincent,
385
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,843
"I leave the rest of my estate
and holdings
386
00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,429
"of which there is none."
387
00:23:51,554 --> 00:23:53,472
Hm.
388
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,726
Where's the cash?
Where's the furniture?
389
00:23:56,851 --> 00:23:58,060
Where's Bob Eubanks?
390
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,898
He wasn't mentioned.
391
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:05,193
I don't get it, man, uh, boss.
392
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:07,278
What's so important
about a dumb recipe book?
393
00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:11,031
That dumb recipe book
contains more power
394
00:24:11,157 --> 00:24:13,742
than your feeble little minds
can ever imagine.
395
00:24:13,868 --> 00:24:16,120
And it rightfully belongs to me.
396
00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:18,830
I must have that book.
397
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,209
Great! Just what I need, a house.
398
00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:23,836
I need a house in Fallwell,
like I need a padded bra!
399
00:24:25,296 --> 00:24:27,589
I can't live here!
I'll go crazy, I tell you!
400
00:24:27,715 --> 00:24:29,341
Get... Oh...
401
00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:31,552
Crazy!
402
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,059
- May I offer you a ride?
- Buzz off, creep! I'm not in the mood!
403
00:24:38,184 --> 00:24:40,644
- Oh, it's you, Uncle Vinnie!
- Yes!
404
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:43,272
Uncle Vinnie.
405
00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:45,733
I must apologise
for my behaviour in the office.
406
00:24:45,858 --> 00:24:49,069
It's just that your appearance
was a bit of a shock to me.
407
00:24:49,195 --> 00:24:51,614
It's OK. My appearance
is kind of a shock to everybody.
408
00:24:51,739 --> 00:24:54,199
Yes, well,
as you may have surmised,
409
00:24:54,325 --> 00:24:58,825
my sister and I, well...
let's just say we... had our differences.
410
00:24:59,914 --> 00:25:02,416
Yeah, I guess.
You really got shafted.
411
00:25:02,917 --> 00:25:04,793
Uh, look,
I'll tell you what, Uncle Vinnie,
412
00:25:04,919 --> 00:25:06,962
um, I'll share my inheritance
with you.
413
00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:09,423
- You can have the dog.
- No! Thank you.
414
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:13,636
But I would be interested
in acquiring that recipe book.
415
00:25:13,761 --> 00:25:16,972
You know, for sentimental reasons.
I'd be willing to pay you.
416
00:25:17,098 --> 00:25:18,766
Say, 50 dollars.
417
00:25:18,891 --> 00:25:20,893
Hey, sure! I'll do it for fifty bucks.
418
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,353
Oh!
419
00:25:23,438 --> 00:25:24,981
Vinnie, you got yourself
a cookbook.
420
00:25:25,106 --> 00:25:26,774
That lawyer guy
is taking me over to the house,
421
00:25:26,899 --> 00:25:27,983
so you can pick up it later.
422
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,777
Fine. I'll see you there.
423
00:25:30,778 --> 00:25:32,988
- Oh, uh, don't forget to bring the cash.
- Mm-hm.
424
00:25:35,950 --> 00:25:37,284
Drive!
425
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:40,621
If one of those bottles
should happen to fall... Oh, we're here.
426
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:47,544
Wait up!
427
00:25:48,504 --> 00:25:50,506
Hey, this place ain't half bad!
428
00:25:50,631 --> 00:25:52,341
Bet you could get a bundle for it.
429
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,761
Yes, you could,
but your house is over there.
430
00:26:08,983 --> 00:26:10,442
Ooh, Mr. Talbot!
431
00:26:10,568 --> 00:26:14,655
I wanted to thank you for that generous
donation you made to the Morality Club.
432
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:18,659
- You're quite welcome.
- As I always say, morals aren't cheap.
433
00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:21,662
And speaking of cheap,
uh, a little birdy told me
434
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:24,957
- that Elvira woman is related to you.
- Mm.
435
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:29,420
Now, not that it's any of my business,
but then, 'course, everything is.
436
00:26:29,545 --> 00:26:32,506
Believe me, I'm as anxious
to get rid of her as you are.
437
00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:33,633
Oh, good!
438
00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,926
You know, because
someone like that comes to town,
439
00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:39,013
the next thing you know they're teaching
sex education in the schools
440
00:26:39,138 --> 00:26:41,431
and they're passing out condoms
to kindergartners.
441
00:26:41,557 --> 00:26:43,350
You remember
when those swarthy fellas...
442
00:26:43,476 --> 00:26:45,769
She won't be with us very long.
443
00:26:46,312 --> 00:26:48,439
Oh. Um...
444
00:26:48,564 --> 00:26:50,649
Uh, why, uh...
445
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,277
Ah, well,
I know I'm needed somewhere.
446
00:26:53,402 --> 00:26:56,071
Chastity Pariah can do.
Bye-bye now.
447
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,870
Careful.
Some of the boards are loose.
448
00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:08,083
What a dump!
449
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:11,170
Like I said,
the house needs a little something.
450
00:27:12,046 --> 00:27:14,923
Yeah! Like a wrecking ball.
451
00:27:18,427 --> 00:27:20,762
I think Algonquin likes you.
452
00:27:20,888 --> 00:27:23,807
Oh... Here, doggie. Go on.
Go chase this into the street.
453
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,479
I can't stand little dogs.
454
00:27:28,604 --> 00:27:30,814
Boy, if my aunt wasn't dead,
I'd kill her!
455
00:27:32,066 --> 00:27:33,901
Oh.
456
00:27:34,026 --> 00:27:36,570
Sorry, Aunt Morgana.
Just... kidding.
457
00:27:38,364 --> 00:27:40,449
Mm-hm.
458
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,161
Here's the rest of your inheritance.
459
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:46,038
Your great-aunt's recipe book.
460
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,212
Oh, yeah, some inheritance.
461
00:27:53,337 --> 00:27:55,380
Well, at least
I'm getting 50 bucks for it.
462
00:27:56,340 --> 00:27:58,425
Say, how much you think
I can get for this place?
463
00:27:58,551 --> 00:28:02,429
Well, even though the house
is in disrepair, it is in a prime location.
464
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:05,599
I'd venture to say
you could get, uh, 70,000.
465
00:28:05,725 --> 00:28:08,686
- 70 grand?
- Maybe more, if it were fixed up.
466
00:28:08,811 --> 00:28:11,772
- Would you be interested in selling?
- Does a chicken have a pecker?
467
00:28:11,898 --> 00:28:13,232
'Course I'm interested!
468
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,951
Now, what am I gonna do
with you?
469
00:28:33,628 --> 00:28:35,630
That's more like it, Algonquin.
470
00:28:37,381 --> 00:28:40,008
Algonquin... What a sissy name.
471
00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,887
Let's see. What do I call ya?
472
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:45,514
I know! Gonk.
How do you like that?
473
00:28:57,944 --> 00:28:59,695
Yeah, hold your horses.
474
00:29:03,282 --> 00:29:06,535
Hi, Uncle Vinnie! You're here
for the book, right? Come on in!
475
00:29:06,661 --> 00:29:08,329
Can I make you a cup of tea
or somethin'?
476
00:29:08,454 --> 00:29:10,330
I wouldn't want to put you
to any trouble.
477
00:29:10,456 --> 00:29:11,915
Mm. Good point.
478
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,001
I can't stay very long, anyway.
479
00:29:14,126 --> 00:29:16,419
Say, you don't wanna buy a house,
would ya?
480
00:29:16,545 --> 00:29:18,421
- I'm afraid not.
- I'll sell it to you cheap.
481
00:29:18,547 --> 00:29:20,131
Uh, no, thank you.
482
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:22,134
They don't make houses
like this any more.
483
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,053
I mean, look at that detailing.
484
00:29:24,178 --> 00:29:27,556
Look at the craftsmanship! Uh...
485
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:29,100
What would you pay
for a house like this?
486
00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:30,976
Don't answer
because you not only get a house.
487
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:34,105
If you act right now,
you also get all this beautiful furniture!
488
00:29:34,230 --> 00:29:36,565
Now what would you pay?
I'm telling you it's a jewel box.
489
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,359
It's a gem, a love hutch for two.
490
00:29:38,484 --> 00:29:39,902
I'll bend over backwards
to make you a deal.
491
00:29:40,027 --> 00:29:43,113
I'll bend over forwards...
I'd stand on my head and...
492
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,741
No! Just the book!
493
00:29:47,159 --> 00:29:49,911
OK. I mean,
if you're gonna get crabby about it...
494
00:29:57,169 --> 00:30:00,547
That's weird. I would have sworn
the book was just on that table.
495
00:30:00,673 --> 00:30:02,758
You promised me that book!
496
00:30:02,883 --> 00:30:05,093
Hey, don't get your panties
in a bunch.
497
00:30:05,219 --> 00:30:07,346
It didn't just walk away.
I'm sure it'll turn up.
498
00:30:07,471 --> 00:30:08,889
Yes!
499
00:30:09,557 --> 00:30:11,141
Of course, it will.
500
00:30:12,601 --> 00:30:13,935
Forgive me.
501
00:30:18,941 --> 00:30:20,692
Hmm. Thinks he's a pitbull.
502
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:35,707
Good thing
I'm not gonna be here very long.
503
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:37,835
The neighbours would never get
any sleep.
504
00:30:43,215 --> 00:30:44,549
Ah!
505
00:30:45,134 --> 00:30:48,262
About time, doofus.
Did you bring the camera?
506
00:30:48,387 --> 00:30:50,472
- Do I look like an idiot?
- Want me to answer that?
507
00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:52,558
Shut up, you guys!
She's gonna hear us.
508
00:31:04,612 --> 00:31:06,530
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
509
00:31:06,655 --> 00:31:09,824
who's the most drop-dead gorgeous
one of all?
510
00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:12,911
Oh, you're just saying that.
511
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:14,413
Hmm.
512
00:31:31,722 --> 00:31:33,974
Crap.
513
00:31:34,892 --> 00:31:37,227
- What do you see?
- In a minute, in a minute.
514
00:31:37,353 --> 00:31:38,687
Ow! My fingers.
515
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:41,106
- Guys, I can't see...
- In a minute.
516
00:31:42,608 --> 00:31:45,027
Wait. God, it's cold out.
517
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:47,571
Whoa.
518
00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:55,413
Don't drop it. Ow, ow.
519
00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:02,586
Ow! Let me see.
520
00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:17,267
Awesome!
521
00:32:17,393 --> 00:32:19,144
Whoa!
522
00:32:19,270 --> 00:32:20,688
I got ya.
523
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:25,693
Did you get it?
524
00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:29,738
Bo!
525
00:32:30,573 --> 00:32:32,825
Haven't you boys got some place else
to hang around?
526
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:36,078
Uh, we heard you might need a little help
fixing up the place.
527
00:32:36,203 --> 00:32:37,746
Hmm. That's very thoughtful,
528
00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:40,291
but why don't you come back
when the light's better?
529
00:32:40,416 --> 00:32:41,917
Good night!
530
00:32:47,423 --> 00:32:50,134
- You blew it!
- Did you see those gazongas?
531
00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:52,844
- Some.
- I got it!
532
00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,304
- Great!
- All right!
533
00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:05,024
'Elvira.
534
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:10,904
'Elvira.
535
00:33:20,873 --> 00:33:22,666
'Elvira.
536
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,428
'Elvira.'
537
00:34:17,471 --> 00:34:19,973
Oh, out, out, out! Out!
538
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:43,580
- Hi, Elvira.
- Hi.
539
00:34:44,081 --> 00:34:45,415
Oh, hi. You're here.
540
00:34:45,541 --> 00:34:48,669
Richard's folks run the hardware store.
And we got lots of paint.
541
00:34:48,794 --> 00:34:51,463
Oh, do you?
Too bad they don't own the bank.
542
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:53,132
Uh, I'll be right down.
543
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,386
Let's do it!
544
00:34:57,511 --> 00:34:58,678
♪ You know you make me
wanna shout
545
00:34:58,804 --> 00:35:00,138
♪ Kick my heels up and shout
546
00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:01,848
♪ Throw my hands up and shout...
547
00:35:02,558 --> 00:35:05,310
Hey, Elvira,
we got us a couple more volunteers.
548
00:35:06,186 --> 00:35:08,479
Great! Just grab a tool
and start banging! Hmm.
549
00:35:08,606 --> 00:35:10,649
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
550
00:35:10,774 --> 00:35:12,525
♪ Say you will
551
00:35:12,651 --> 00:35:14,110
♪ Say it right now, baby
552
00:35:14,236 --> 00:35:15,570
♪ Come on, come on
553
00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:18,156
♪ Say you will
554
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:19,616
♪ Say...
555
00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:22,953
- Hi, Elvira.
- Hi, Robin. Come on in.
556
00:35:23,537 --> 00:35:25,038
♪ Say that you need me
557
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,748
♪ You wanna please me
558
00:35:26,874 --> 00:35:29,001
♪ Come on now, come on now...
559
00:35:29,126 --> 00:35:31,503
Randy,
can you get me that rag?
560
00:35:32,755 --> 00:35:34,339
Randy!
561
00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:37,176
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
562
00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:39,845
♪ I still remember
when you used to be nine years old...
563
00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:43,390
Young lady!
564
00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:48,103
Robin Meeker, what in the name
of damnation are you doing here?
565
00:35:48,228 --> 00:35:50,313
- You're gonna pay...
- Robin!
566
00:35:50,439 --> 00:35:52,441
I'm gonna find out about this,
young lady!
567
00:35:52,566 --> 00:35:54,109
- Robin!
- Come over here!
568
00:35:54,234 --> 00:35:56,277
When are you gonna learn
to do what you're told?
569
00:35:56,403 --> 00:35:59,447
If you're not gonna do what you're told,
you're gonna end up on...
570
00:35:59,573 --> 00:36:01,283
♪ You know you make me
wanna shout
571
00:36:01,408 --> 00:36:03,118
♪ Lift my head up and shout
572
00:36:03,243 --> 00:36:04,994
♪ Throw my hands back and shout
573
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,454
♪ Come on now, shout
574
00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:08,832
♪ Come on now, shout
575
00:36:08,957 --> 00:36:10,458
♪ All right now, shout
576
00:36:10,584 --> 00:36:12,252
♪ Come on now, shout
577
00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:13,754
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
578
00:36:13,879 --> 00:36:15,297
♪ Come on now, shout
579
00:36:15,422 --> 00:36:16,965
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
580
00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:18,467
♪ Come on, shout
581
00:36:18,592 --> 00:36:20,051
♪ Come on, shout...
582
00:36:20,177 --> 00:36:21,761
Lemonade!
583
00:36:21,887 --> 00:36:23,221
♪ Come on now, shout
584
00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:24,681
♪ Come on, yeah, shout
585
00:36:24,807 --> 00:36:26,391
♪ Come on now, shout...
586
00:36:30,646 --> 00:36:31,980
It's fabulous!
587
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:34,441
♪ You know you make me
wanna shout...
588
00:36:36,026 --> 00:36:39,154
♪ Come on now, shout... ♪
589
00:36:39,279 --> 00:36:41,114
I tell you, I nearly died.
590
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,909
There she was parading around
in clothes
591
00:36:44,034 --> 00:36:46,786
that couldn't keep
a titmouse dry in a drizzle.
592
00:36:46,912 --> 00:36:49,039
I mean, it was next to nothin'!
593
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,708
I'd say it was next to plenty.
594
00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:56,751
And she had half the teenagers in town
writhing around to that jungle music!
595
00:36:58,048 --> 00:37:02,548
And this morning on my regular tour
of the boys lavatory I confiscated this!
596
00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,100
Hm.
597
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,729
I'll be making the announcement
this afternoon.
598
00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:17,276
Henceforth, all students
will be subject to immediate expulsion
599
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:20,987
if there are found
in the company of that floozy!
600
00:37:21,113 --> 00:37:24,866
Please, I don't think we need
to resort to name-calling.
601
00:37:24,992 --> 00:37:26,743
I think what Calvin is trying to say
602
00:37:26,869 --> 00:37:31,164
is that this Elvira
is a person of easy virtue,
603
00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:33,333
a purveyor of pulchritude,
604
00:37:33,459 --> 00:37:36,003
one woman's Sodom and Gomorrah,
if you will.
605
00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:40,632
A slimy, slithering succubus,
a concubine,
606
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:44,011
a street walker, a tramp,
a slut, a cheap whore!
607
00:37:45,888 --> 00:37:49,349
She'll be nothing but a bad dream
just as soon as she sells that property.
608
00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:51,393
An open house
has been planned for tomorrow.
609
00:37:51,518 --> 00:37:53,811
But what if she decides not to sell?
610
00:37:54,396 --> 00:37:56,689
What if she decides to settle here?
611
00:37:56,815 --> 00:37:59,067
Well, if she is morally unfit,
612
00:37:59,193 --> 00:38:02,696
then we have every right to do anything
we can to get her out of this town.
613
00:38:02,821 --> 00:38:05,114
- Are we agreed?
- Absolutely.
614
00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:07,659
Maybe we're not being
entirely objective about this.
615
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:09,328
Shut up, Leslie!
616
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,037
Then it's unanimous.
617
00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:16,292
Harold Glotter, Fallwell Real Estate.
618
00:38:17,127 --> 00:38:18,628
Well, I sure hope you got a buyer.
619
00:38:19,421 --> 00:38:21,381
I haven't had so much
as a lookie-loo.
620
00:38:21,507 --> 00:38:22,841
Don't worry.
621
00:38:25,219 --> 00:38:28,263
I have some wealthy investors friends
who'd buy this house in a minute.
622
00:38:28,388 --> 00:38:31,015
That is... if you play your cards right.
623
00:38:31,141 --> 00:38:34,185
Oh! Honey, I'd do anything
to get rid of this rat trap.
624
00:38:34,311 --> 00:38:37,063
Hm. That's what I like,
a motivated seller.
625
00:38:37,856 --> 00:38:39,440
It's all a matter of technique.
626
00:38:39,566 --> 00:38:41,859
For starters, let's try and...
627
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:45,447
...set the proper mood.
628
00:38:45,572 --> 00:38:46,990
Oh, good idea. Hmm.
629
00:38:47,115 --> 00:38:48,783
I mean, the less they see,
the better.
630
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:52,579
Then it's usually a matter
of getting close to the buyer.
631
00:38:52,704 --> 00:38:55,289
Tell him all about
the potential appreciation.
632
00:38:55,415 --> 00:38:58,668
Then guide him
through every nook and cranny.
633
00:38:58,794 --> 00:39:02,964
Slowly unveil everything
from the balcony to the basement.
634
00:39:03,090 --> 00:39:04,424
One area at a time.
635
00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:06,635
When he's so enthralled,
he's ready to burst,
636
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,596
you... clinch the deal!
637
00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:11,807
Ow!
638
00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:14,935
You'll be sorry!
You'll never sell this place without me!
639
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:19,523
Just because this house is up for grabs
doesn't mean I am!
640
00:39:21,441 --> 00:39:23,234
Ah! Get this dog off!
641
00:39:23,777 --> 00:39:25,195
Ah!
642
00:39:27,489 --> 00:39:29,157
Get back! Get outta here!
643
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,901
"Calm down, Manny", she says!
644
00:40:05,027 --> 00:40:06,945
I've got the Flamingo
breathing down my neck
645
00:40:07,070 --> 00:40:10,573
to cough up the dough
and you're telling me to calm down?
646
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:12,951
I told ya,
I'll come up with the money.
647
00:40:13,076 --> 00:40:16,871
Heck, I was just... six inches
from selling this house today.
648
00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:21,292
Look, kid, you better get that money
here pronto or you're through.
649
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:22,419
Do you hear me?
650
00:40:22,544 --> 00:40:25,922
The only showroom you'll see in Vegas
will have Toyotas in it.
651
00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:41,062
And now I understand
she is out looking for a job?
652
00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:45,150
♪ When you're young
and so in love as we...
653
00:40:47,235 --> 00:40:51,735
♪ And bewildered
by the world we see...
654
00:40:52,074 --> 00:40:53,950
Let's go.
655
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,578
♪ How can people hurt us so
656
00:40:56,703 --> 00:40:59,664
♪ Only those in love
would know
657
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:04,290
♪ What a town without pity
can do
658
00:41:05,170 --> 00:41:09,670
♪ If we stop to gaze upon a star
659
00:41:11,551 --> 00:41:16,013
♪ People talk
about how bad we are...
660
00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:19,851
There's no book upstairs,
but I found these panties.
661
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,979
Try one. They're edible.
662
00:41:28,151 --> 00:41:29,735
Now, keep lookin'!
663
00:41:39,621 --> 00:41:41,914
Huh!
664
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:43,959
Hey, up!
665
00:41:47,504 --> 00:41:50,006
Excuses, excuses.
666
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:54,260
- We turned the place inside out.
- Yeah, and tell him about the dog.
667
00:41:55,512 --> 00:41:57,805
Well, it must have been the size
of a water buffalo.
668
00:41:57,931 --> 00:41:59,265
Quiet!
669
00:42:01,143 --> 00:42:03,145
Now, listen to me very carefully.
670
00:42:03,270 --> 00:42:06,815
Go to the courthouse and remove
all the records of the town ordinances
671
00:42:06,940 --> 00:42:08,566
and bring them back to me.
672
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:10,110
Do you understand?
673
00:42:10,235 --> 00:42:11,569
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
674
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:13,154
Then get out!
675
00:42:19,786 --> 00:42:21,662
Come here, dummy.
676
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:30,376
♪ Can be real,
a town without pity...
677
00:42:30,505 --> 00:42:32,131
Oh.
678
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:37,887
♪ Can do ♪
679
00:42:43,143 --> 00:42:44,477
Ow!
680
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:47,939
Oh, my gosh! Elvira, I'm sorry.
681
00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:50,984
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I think so.
682
00:42:51,109 --> 00:42:54,153
- How's your head?
- I haven't had any complaints yet.
683
00:42:54,279 --> 00:42:55,697
Excuse me?
684
00:42:56,782 --> 00:43:01,282
Oh, I'll live. Believe me, it's not the
worst thing that's happened to me today.
685
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,164
I mean, every place in this town
and no one will give me a job!
686
00:43:04,289 --> 00:43:07,542
It's... it's like it's a conspiracy
or something.
687
00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:11,296
You know what your problem is?
Chastity Pariah.
688
00:43:11,421 --> 00:43:13,589
Ooh, I thought
that cleared up.
689
00:43:13,715 --> 00:43:16,551
No! Chastity Pariah.
She's the old biddy.
690
00:43:16,676 --> 00:43:18,594
She's got the whole town
turned against you.
691
00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,054
Oh, swell!
692
00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:22,807
So now no one will hire me
and I'm flat busted!
693
00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:27,228
Uh, no, I mean I'm broke.
694
00:43:27,354 --> 00:43:28,688
I'd hire you if I could,
695
00:43:28,814 --> 00:43:31,483
but I'm barely make enough money
to stay in business as it is.
696
00:43:31,608 --> 00:43:33,318
Duh! I'm not surprised.
697
00:43:33,443 --> 00:43:36,487
I mean, who wants to pay
to see some quack making duck calls?
698
00:43:37,030 --> 00:43:40,783
And, besides that, Bob,
you got an extra "E" in "matinée".
699
00:43:40,909 --> 00:43:43,244
No, I don't. That's how you spell it.
700
00:43:43,370 --> 00:43:47,165
Uh, Bob, I'm in show business.
I think I know how to spell "matinée".
701
00:43:48,708 --> 00:43:51,460
- Well, I think it's a good idea.
- Mm.
702
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,108
Oh, Bob, how can I ever repay you?
703
00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:14,943
Here. Let me try.
704
00:44:16,736 --> 00:44:18,362
That witch!
705
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:29,958
I... I guess I better get back to work.
706
00:44:30,083 --> 00:44:31,667
Uh, the matinée's gonna start soon.
707
00:44:31,793 --> 00:44:35,046
Mm. Oh, yeah.
I can see the crowds lining up now.
708
00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:39,384
Bobby, baby, you are gonna go broke
showing turkeys like these.
709
00:44:40,844 --> 00:44:42,554
You gotta a better idea?
710
00:44:42,679 --> 00:44:47,179
It just so happens that I have
some of the classic films of all time
711
00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:49,811
in the trunk of my car.
712
00:44:50,812 --> 00:44:52,980
As a matter of fact...
713
00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:44,907
He who holds the book of sight,
714
00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:48,202
when the moon is drained
of all its light,
715
00:45:48,328 --> 00:45:50,538
will then be ruler of the night,
716
00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:53,208
Master of the Dark!
717
00:45:54,918 --> 00:45:57,295
The lunar eclipse, Morgana.
718
00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:00,256
It's less than a week away.
719
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:05,135
When the moon
is drained of all its light...
720
00:46:10,350 --> 00:46:13,061
There is nothing you can do!
721
00:46:13,937 --> 00:46:16,898
You're dead and I'm not!
722
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:34,832
Oh! There you are!
723
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:36,751
I have been looking all over
for you guys.
724
00:46:36,876 --> 00:46:39,378
You are not gonna believe
the good news.
725
00:46:39,504 --> 00:46:43,966
Yours truly is hosting a special
midnight screening at Bob's theater
726
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:46,177
of one of the worst movies
ever made!
727
00:46:46,886 --> 00:46:48,596
I mean, it is bad.
728
00:46:49,514 --> 00:46:54,014
You know, like bad as in bad!
Like, "I'm bad, Jamal, you know it."
729
00:46:56,229 --> 00:46:59,857
Hey, what is this?
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers"?
730
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:01,776
Two days ago
we were bosom buddies.
731
00:47:01,901 --> 00:47:03,235
It's the principal.
732
00:47:03,361 --> 00:47:06,405
Darn right it's the principle.
Friends ought to stick together.
733
00:47:06,531 --> 00:47:09,033
No. I mean, the principal, Mr. Cobb.
734
00:47:09,159 --> 00:47:11,202
He'd kill us
if we went to your show.
735
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:12,787
Not to mention our parents.
736
00:47:12,912 --> 00:47:14,830
Kill your parents too?
737
00:47:14,956 --> 00:47:17,917
No, our parents would never
let us stay out that late.
738
00:47:18,877 --> 00:47:20,962
Oh. Hmm. I see.
739
00:47:22,130 --> 00:47:26,217
Well, the last thing I wanna do
is get you guys in any trouble.
740
00:47:27,218 --> 00:47:31,013
I mean, so what if it blows
my only chance at making a living?
741
00:47:32,015 --> 00:47:33,808
I mean, that's not your problem.
Hmm.
742
00:47:33,933 --> 00:47:36,644
And if I get so depressed,
743
00:47:36,770 --> 00:47:40,106
I... wind up hanging myself
in the oven?
744
00:47:41,149 --> 00:47:43,484
Heck! Those are the breaks.
745
00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:48,239
But if they ever ask about me,
746
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,950
tell 'em I was more
than just a great set of boobs.
747
00:47:52,285 --> 00:47:54,495
I was also an incredible pair of legs.
748
00:47:55,914 --> 00:47:58,833
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that I never turned down a friend.
749
00:48:00,877 --> 00:48:03,170
I... never turned down a stranger,
for that matter.
750
00:48:04,255 --> 00:48:07,132
And tell 'em, tell 'em
that when all is said and done,
751
00:48:07,258 --> 00:48:11,178
I only ask that people
remember me by two simple words.
752
00:48:14,557 --> 00:48:17,393
Any two, as... long as they're simple.
753
00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:27,737
If we all decide to help Elvira,
what can Cobb do?
754
00:48:27,862 --> 00:48:29,613
He can expel us all.
755
00:48:30,448 --> 00:48:34,118
I do not know about the rest of you,
but I'll be there.
756
00:48:38,289 --> 00:48:41,125
- Me too.
- Count on me.
757
00:48:42,752 --> 00:48:44,879
We're sorry, Elvira.
758
00:48:45,004 --> 00:48:46,547
We'll all come to your show.
759
00:48:48,758 --> 00:48:52,720
Great. 12 o'clock sharp.
Be there or be square.
760
00:49:01,020 --> 00:49:02,354
Shh.
761
00:50:19,933 --> 00:50:21,351
Oh, that looks great!
762
00:50:21,476 --> 00:50:22,810
- You really like it?
- Yeah.
763
00:50:22,936 --> 00:50:25,563
- Elvira, where do you want this?
- Um, just right up there.
764
00:50:25,688 --> 00:50:27,731
- OK.
- What's the bucket for?
765
00:50:27,857 --> 00:50:30,693
I tell you, oh, it's so cool!
766
00:50:30,818 --> 00:50:32,820
This is the part
that I ripped off, uh, um...
767
00:50:32,946 --> 00:50:34,906
Was inspired by "Flashdance".
768
00:50:35,031 --> 00:50:37,908
I reach up, I pull this rope
769
00:50:38,034 --> 00:50:42,534
and my entire body
is covered in gold glitter!
770
00:50:42,747 --> 00:50:44,707
- Couldn't you die?
- All right!
771
00:50:44,832 --> 00:50:47,876
Oh, Bob, I'm telling you,
it's a guaranteed standing ovulation.
772
00:51:16,656 --> 00:51:17,990
You're late.
773
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:21,160
When the guy gets purée.
774
00:51:22,662 --> 00:51:23,996
Don't worry. They're Italian.
775
00:51:24,122 --> 00:51:26,332
They'll wind up making
a great marinara sauce.
776
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:34,256
Robin?
777
00:51:36,551 --> 00:51:38,302
Is that you?
778
00:51:39,554 --> 00:51:40,888
Man!
779
00:51:41,931 --> 00:51:43,891
Oh, this is where the heroine
gets grabbed by the tomatoes!
780
00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:45,059
I can't watch!
781
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,423
Boy, this ending's so bad,
782
00:52:15,548 --> 00:52:18,467
the tomatoes ought to start
throwing rotten people at the screen.
783
00:52:29,854 --> 00:52:33,023
Hey, darlings, don't move
because the best is yet to come.
784
00:52:33,149 --> 00:52:37,486
Ladies and Dobermans,
it's time for the grand finale!
785
00:52:51,209 --> 00:52:54,170
♪ Just a steel town girl
on a Saturday night
786
00:52:54,295 --> 00:52:56,755
♪ Lookin' for the fight of her life
787
00:52:57,548 --> 00:53:00,384
♪ In the real-time world
no one sees her at all
788
00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:03,179
♪ They all say she's crazy
789
00:53:03,304 --> 00:53:06,223
♪ Locking rhythms
to the beat of her heart
790
00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:09,060
♪ Changing movement into light
791
00:53:09,185 --> 00:53:12,771
♪ She has danced
into the danger zone
792
00:53:12,897 --> 00:53:15,024
♪ When the dancer
becomes a dance
793
00:53:16,818 --> 00:53:18,986
♪ It can cut you like a knife
794
00:53:19,112 --> 00:53:22,824
♪ If the gift becomes the fire
795
00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:27,449
♪ On a wire between will
and what will be
796
00:53:27,829 --> 00:53:32,329
♪ She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor... ♪
797
00:53:45,596 --> 00:53:47,806
Patty! Ugh!
798
00:53:55,940 --> 00:53:59,234
Ugh, I have never been
so humiliated in my entire life!
799
00:53:59,819 --> 00:54:03,739
Huh... Just wait
until I get my hands on that Patty.
800
00:54:03,865 --> 00:54:08,365
I am gonna rip every single
bleach-blonde hair out of her scalp,
801
00:54:08,619 --> 00:54:11,538
gouge out her eyeballs
and use her head for a bowling ball!
802
00:54:12,206 --> 00:54:15,083
I'm telling you,
they are not gonna get away with it!
803
00:54:15,209 --> 00:54:18,212
That... that barfman Chastity
blacklisting me out of a job
804
00:54:18,337 --> 00:54:20,881
and that... that sleazoid
of a high-school principal
805
00:54:21,007 --> 00:54:22,758
turning all the kids against me.
806
00:54:22,884 --> 00:54:27,384
And that bench-sniffin' real estate letch,
trying to get his commission in the sack!
807
00:54:28,931 --> 00:54:32,434
I'll get even with every one of 'em,
if it's the last thing I do!
808
00:54:39,692 --> 00:54:42,569
- What's that perfume your wearing?
- Super unleaded.
809
00:54:43,029 --> 00:54:44,405
Don't smoke.
810
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:53,205
Well, here's to my big opening!
811
00:54:53,331 --> 00:54:55,374
I mean...
812
00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:58,085
Forget it.
813
00:55:03,424 --> 00:55:04,758
Uh...
814
00:55:05,218 --> 00:55:07,345
Don't you kids think
it's past your bed time? Hmm.
815
00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:09,305
Oh, heck, no.
I'm not tired... ouch.
816
00:55:09,430 --> 00:55:11,473
It is getting awfully late.
817
00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:14,935
Uh, yeah. We better be going.
818
00:55:15,061 --> 00:55:17,480
Yep.
Well, see you dudes tomorrow.
819
00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:54,600
Ow!
820
00:55:58,229 --> 00:56:01,190
There's the darn recipe book!
How did it get under there?
821
00:56:07,071 --> 00:56:09,239
Uh, that reminds me. I'm starving.
822
00:56:09,365 --> 00:56:11,325
Mm, me too. Hmm.
823
00:56:12,285 --> 00:56:14,036
Uh, let's go get somethin' to eat.
824
00:56:14,161 --> 00:56:15,996
There's an all-night truck stop
on the interstate.
825
00:56:16,122 --> 00:56:19,083
No, no, no, no, Bob.
826
00:56:19,208 --> 00:56:20,709
I've got a better idea.
827
00:56:20,835 --> 00:56:22,878
Why don't you set the table,
828
00:56:23,004 --> 00:56:26,507
while I see what I can whip up
in the kitchen?
829
00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:35,099
My aunt sure had lousy penmanship.
830
00:56:36,017 --> 00:56:37,601
I can't read a word of this stuff.
831
00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:41,564
It looks like it was written
in some foreign language or somethin'.
832
00:56:43,065 --> 00:56:45,817
Hm. Hm, hm.
Hey, wait. Look at this.
833
00:56:45,943 --> 00:56:47,611
"Adraka Kazorol".
834
00:56:48,237 --> 00:56:51,448
Kazorol... Oh, casserole!
835
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:53,033
Mm, that sounds good.
836
00:56:53,159 --> 00:56:55,035
OK. Let's see.
What does it say here?
837
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:58,247
"One edrazeba."
838
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,500
Huh. Wonder where she keeps
edrazeba around here.
839
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:11,052
Wow! This is some spice rack.
840
00:57:13,054 --> 00:57:14,472
Tramazol.
841
00:57:15,139 --> 00:57:16,807
Folemgra. Kuderox.
842
00:57:17,475 --> 00:57:20,603
Oh! Here it is! Edrazeba.
843
00:57:25,399 --> 00:57:26,733
Hm, hm.
844
00:57:26,859 --> 00:57:28,902
One edrazeba.
845
00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:36,202
OK! One half folemgra.
846
00:57:36,327 --> 00:57:37,745
Oh...
847
00:57:39,580 --> 00:57:41,957
Whoa!
Looks like the folemgra went bad.
848
00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:46,044
I don't know, it says it's good
until June of next year.
849
00:57:46,170 --> 00:57:49,631
What the heck!
I got a cast-iron stomach.
850
00:57:49,757 --> 00:57:51,800
OK, then. Let's see.
851
00:57:51,926 --> 00:57:55,596
Two to three guletra. Guletra...
852
00:57:55,721 --> 00:57:57,097
La, la...
853
00:57:57,223 --> 00:58:00,351
Uh, let's see. One kuderox.
854
00:58:00,476 --> 00:58:02,519
Kuderox. Where could it be?
855
00:58:09,318 --> 00:58:10,861
Mm.
856
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,321
It doesn't smell too bad.
857
00:58:12,446 --> 00:58:14,865
But it looks like kaka-doodoo.
858
00:58:42,268 --> 00:58:44,103
There! That's much better.
859
00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:53,028
It's soup!
860
00:58:56,991 --> 00:58:59,410
Mmm. Smells great. What is it?
861
00:58:59,535 --> 00:59:02,079
Oh, just a little something
I conjured up.
862
00:59:02,747 --> 00:59:04,081
Oh.
863
00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:10,212
- Allow me.
- Thank you ever so.
864
00:59:13,257 --> 00:59:15,759
Well, I hope you're hungry.
865
00:59:16,218 --> 00:59:17,844
Cos here's dinner!
866
00:59:48,584 --> 00:59:50,085
Ugh!
867
00:59:52,254 --> 00:59:54,881
Get out!
868
00:59:55,007 --> 00:59:56,717
Ugh!
869
00:59:57,635 --> 00:59:58,844
Out, out!
870
00:59:59,470 --> 01:00:00,971
The switch! Bob, the switch!
871
01:00:06,268 --> 01:00:07,269
Eew!
872
01:00:13,192 --> 01:00:15,027
Eew!
873
01:00:17,738 --> 01:00:20,365
First time I was ever an appetizer
for the main course.
874
01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:21,950
Where'd you learn how to cook?
875
01:00:22,076 --> 01:00:25,037
I didn't. I just followed the directions
in my aunt's...
876
01:00:25,162 --> 01:00:27,539
Gonk, what are you doing?
Gimme that cookbook!
877
01:00:32,336 --> 01:00:34,129
Gonk? Gonk!
878
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:38,717
Gonk, you get back here right now
or you are grounded for one week.
879
01:00:39,635 --> 01:00:40,969
Gonk!
880
01:00:41,095 --> 01:00:42,721
- Oh!
- Gonk, come here!
881
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:49,937
Déjà vu.
882
01:00:58,404 --> 01:00:59,780
Wow.
883
01:01:00,531 --> 01:01:02,324
Gonk?
884
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:03,992
Gonk, are you in here?
885
01:01:10,416 --> 01:01:14,086
Gonk, you are very bad, bad dog.
886
01:01:16,046 --> 01:01:18,506
Oh, yuck!
He's slobbered all over it.
887
01:01:21,427 --> 01:01:23,053
Now what do you want?
888
01:01:28,559 --> 01:01:30,310
I think he wants you
to open the trunk.
889
01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:33,021
Well, why didn't you just say so?
890
01:01:40,905 --> 01:01:43,157
Wow! Look at all this cool junk!
891
01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:47,202
This could be you, Gonk.
892
01:01:49,288 --> 01:01:51,665
Eew! I think I used go out with this guy.
893
01:01:58,839 --> 01:02:00,298
Hey, look at this.
894
01:02:02,176 --> 01:02:03,802
Think it's for me?
895
01:02:04,553 --> 01:02:05,929
Go ahead. Open it.
896
01:02:06,639 --> 01:02:08,265
Uh-uh. You open it.
897
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,397
"Dearest, Elvira.
898
01:02:15,522 --> 01:02:18,191
"For all these years
I protected you from the truth,
899
01:02:18,317 --> 01:02:22,817
"but the time has now come
when your only protection is the truth."
900
01:02:23,614 --> 01:02:24,948
Say what?
901
01:02:25,658 --> 01:02:26,992
Let me see this.
902
01:02:28,118 --> 01:02:31,079
"Your mother, Devana,
903
01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:32,873
"was an extraordinary woman.
904
01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:35,458
"She was the true Mistress of the Dark.
905
01:02:35,584 --> 01:02:38,253
"But her power
did not go unchallenged."
906
01:02:38,379 --> 01:02:42,466
'For 300 years
your great-uncle Vincent
907
01:02:42,591 --> 01:02:44,259
'coveted her dominion.'
908
01:02:45,636 --> 01:02:47,012
300?
909
01:02:47,137 --> 01:02:49,180
God, I hope I look that good
when I'm that old.
910
01:02:50,266 --> 01:02:52,309
'He would have
destroyed you, as he did her,
911
01:02:52,434 --> 01:02:54,519
'had I not sent you away.
912
01:02:54,645 --> 01:02:57,522
'I left you with all the power
you would need to protect yourself
913
01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,483
'and entrusted you
to my loyal familiar.'
914
01:02:59,608 --> 01:03:01,234
What's that about a familiar?
915
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,196
Bob, haven't you ever seen
any old Roger Corman movies?
916
01:03:04,321 --> 01:03:08,408
Every witch has one. They're like a pet
that can change into almost anything.
917
01:03:08,534 --> 01:03:11,620
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Um...
918
01:03:11,745 --> 01:03:14,080
"But it wasn't you alone
that I sought to protect,
919
01:03:14,206 --> 01:03:18,376
"it was the book
that contained your mother's magic."
920
01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:21,588
'Our enemy
is a formidable one.
921
01:03:21,714 --> 01:03:23,465
'Protect the book, Elvira.
922
01:03:23,590 --> 01:03:25,758
'And above all keep it from Vincent
923
01:03:25,884 --> 01:03:29,846
'when the moon falls
under the Earth's shadow.
924
01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:33,767
'Remember, you carry the power
with you.
925
01:03:35,185 --> 01:03:38,021
'Your loving aunt, Morgana.'
926
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,274
Too macabre!
927
01:03:40,399 --> 01:03:43,485
I knew I was different, but
I didn't think I was quite that different.
928
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,280
No wonder Vinnie
had such a spaz attack
929
01:03:46,405 --> 01:03:47,572
when I couldn't find the book!
930
01:03:48,490 --> 01:03:49,991
Yeah, you heard
what your aunt said.
931
01:03:50,117 --> 01:03:51,576
He can't get his hands on it.
932
01:03:51,702 --> 01:03:53,328
No way he's gettin' it now.
933
01:03:53,454 --> 01:03:57,124
I mean, here I am knocking myself out
to make a living as a horror hostess
934
01:03:57,249 --> 01:04:01,749
when I'm actually descended from,
like, a major metaphysical celebrity!
935
01:04:03,297 --> 01:04:06,049
Oh, all I have to do
is just find the right spell
936
01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:08,594
and I can make the money
I need for Vegas.
937
01:04:08,719 --> 01:04:10,929
I mean, really make the money.
938
01:04:12,431 --> 01:04:15,183
Uh, I don't think you should go foolin'
with that book again.
939
01:04:15,309 --> 01:04:18,478
Bob, here it is!
"Selzba Riki Moola!"
940
01:04:18,604 --> 01:04:21,106
This exactly what I need.
Lots o' moola.
941
01:04:22,149 --> 01:04:26,278
OK, OK.
Selzba riki moola sheen.
942
01:04:26,403 --> 01:04:27,821
Hey, Elvira, I... I don't think...
943
01:04:27,946 --> 01:04:31,282
Pasera floctum kezrah flome!
944
01:04:32,910 --> 01:04:35,579
It's, it's working, Bob!
It's, it's working!
945
01:04:40,334 --> 01:04:42,836
- Bob, are you still here?
- Right here!
946
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:51,511
What is this?
947
01:04:53,347 --> 01:04:56,391
Oh. Why, Bob!
948
01:04:58,685 --> 01:05:01,104
You know, Bob, I may be wrong,
949
01:05:01,230 --> 01:05:03,732
but I think
that might have been a love spell.
950
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:05,734
Really?
951
01:05:06,652 --> 01:05:08,195
Oh, Bob!
952
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:09,946
Bob.
953
01:05:23,001 --> 01:05:25,712
Hold me, Bob. Hold me.
954
01:05:48,068 --> 01:05:49,527
Stand up. Up.
955
01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:54,491
Chastity, the picnic's a great success.
956
01:05:54,616 --> 01:05:58,119
Yes, I think it's something
we can all be proud of.
957
01:06:06,003 --> 01:06:08,296
Come and get it.
958
01:06:09,631 --> 01:06:12,634
Ooh. Now, you children,
you're acting like wild animals.
959
01:06:13,260 --> 01:06:14,594
Get to the end of the line now.
960
01:06:16,930 --> 01:06:18,598
It all looks so good!
961
01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:21,101
I can't remember
when I've been this hungry.
962
01:06:21,226 --> 01:06:23,978
- Mmm...
- Ooh, Melody.
963
01:06:24,104 --> 01:06:27,398
I see you've made
your famous Tic Tac pie.
964
01:06:33,405 --> 01:06:35,698
Bob, what are you doing?
965
01:06:35,824 --> 01:06:38,201
- You scared the hell out of me!
- What's going on?
966
01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:42,331
Let's just say
I'm settling the score.
967
01:06:42,456 --> 01:06:43,957
Oh, no!
968
01:06:44,082 --> 01:06:45,833
Well, it is a pot luck.
969
01:06:45,959 --> 01:06:47,377
And when they open that pot
970
01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:49,338
they're gonna need
all the luck they can get.
971
01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:54,051
Oh, I don't believe
I've had any of this.
972
01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:56,928
Revenge is better than Christmas.
973
01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:05,062
I don't get it. What happened?
974
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,356
Looks like some sort of casserole.
975
01:07:11,401 --> 01:07:13,069
Mmm.
976
01:07:13,195 --> 01:07:15,655
Ooh! This is marvelous.
977
01:07:15,781 --> 01:07:18,450
I must get this recipe. Mmm!
978
01:07:24,039 --> 01:07:26,124
Oh, shoot!
I must've screwed it up
979
01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:29,169
when I substituted the falengra
with some Hamburger Helper.
980
01:07:30,254 --> 01:07:32,381
Oh, yes.
Thank you for my drink.
981
01:07:32,506 --> 01:07:33,924
There.
982
01:07:34,466 --> 01:07:36,676
Ah! Ooh.
983
01:07:37,844 --> 01:07:39,220
Mmm.
984
01:07:41,848 --> 01:07:43,182
Mmm.
985
01:07:44,977 --> 01:07:46,895
Mmm-mmm.
986
01:08:00,617 --> 01:08:02,035
I feel a little odd.
987
01:08:05,414 --> 01:08:07,124
Suddenly it's very warm.
988
01:08:11,503 --> 01:08:15,131
♪ I put a spell on you...
989
01:08:19,303 --> 01:08:21,013
Remind you of anything?
990
01:08:21,138 --> 01:08:23,515
♪ Because you're mine...
991
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:25,558
Remind you of anything?
992
01:08:30,147 --> 01:08:31,565
Mmm.
993
01:08:31,690 --> 01:08:33,400
Give me that! It's mine!
994
01:08:33,525 --> 01:08:34,859
- All mine.
995
01:08:34,985 --> 01:08:37,612
Oh, darling. Ooh.
996
01:08:41,950 --> 01:08:43,826
Mmm. Mmm.
997
01:08:45,537 --> 01:08:48,706
Oh, boy, am I a horn dog?
998
01:08:50,876 --> 01:08:55,376
♪ Because you're mine... ♪
999
01:08:55,839 --> 01:08:57,298
Excuse me.
1000
01:08:57,424 --> 01:08:59,384
Is this space taken?
1001
01:09:15,984 --> 01:09:17,777
Come on, stud. Let's boogie.
1002
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,571
Bob...
1003
01:09:28,664 --> 01:09:31,458
Hey! Let's mambo!
1004
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:43,428
Charge!
1005
01:09:46,431 --> 01:09:49,225
That's an interesting dish.
1006
01:09:49,851 --> 01:09:51,769
Where did you learn how to make it?
1007
01:09:52,646 --> 01:09:54,481
Oh, it's just a old family recipe.
1008
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:57,359
All right.
1009
01:09:57,484 --> 01:10:01,196
I'll give you 500 dollars
for the book.
1010
01:10:01,905 --> 01:10:04,324
What, do I look
like I just fell off the tuna truck?
1011
01:10:04,449 --> 01:10:06,492
The deal's off, Uncle!
1012
01:10:06,618 --> 01:10:08,578
You think you're pretty clever,
don't you?
1013
01:10:08,704 --> 01:10:11,331
- Mm.
- Well, mark my words,
1014
01:10:11,456 --> 01:10:14,459
I'll get you and your little dog too!
1015
01:10:15,168 --> 01:10:16,502
Ugh.
1016
01:10:20,048 --> 01:10:21,382
Help.
1017
01:10:26,263 --> 01:10:27,889
No!
1018
01:10:28,014 --> 01:10:29,932
Oh, you again?
1019
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:32,727
Do you always wear
the same dress?
1020
01:10:33,478 --> 01:10:36,606
No. Sometimes I like to wear
somethin' low-cut and sexy.
1021
01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:38,316
Huh.
1022
01:10:38,442 --> 01:10:41,987
Well, I guess in your business
it pays to advertise.
1023
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:47,576
Come here, Bob.
Let me show you how a real woman does it.
1024
01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:49,703
Mmm-mmm.
1025
01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:51,162
Excuse me!
1026
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:07,679
You all saw it!
1027
01:11:07,804 --> 01:11:10,264
He attacked me in broad daylight
and he had his way with me!
1028
01:11:10,390 --> 01:11:13,059
Me? I barely got away
with my life.
1029
01:11:13,185 --> 01:11:15,812
You could have worn out
a mechanical bull!
1030
01:11:15,937 --> 01:11:18,439
Ooh! You're not gonna
get away with this,
1031
01:11:18,565 --> 01:11:20,149
you sex-addled maniac!
1032
01:11:20,275 --> 01:11:22,694
I demand that the council
remove this pervert!
1033
01:11:22,819 --> 01:11:26,113
I never laid a hand on those sheep,
so help me.
1034
01:11:26,239 --> 01:11:29,283
Calvin was the one who was
painting everybody with apple butter.
1035
01:11:29,409 --> 01:11:31,536
I was just an innocent on-licker.
1036
01:11:35,248 --> 01:11:36,582
Silence!
1037
01:11:39,336 --> 01:11:40,670
Don't you see?
1038
01:11:42,464 --> 01:11:45,967
You're playing right into her hands.
1039
01:11:46,635 --> 01:11:50,430
It's Elvira
who is responsible for all this.
1040
01:11:50,555 --> 01:11:53,307
Of course. I should have known
it was that little harlot.
1041
01:11:53,433 --> 01:11:57,145
We ought to ride her
out of town on a big fat rail.
1042
01:11:57,270 --> 01:11:59,230
She might enjoy that too much.
1043
01:11:59,981 --> 01:12:02,650
There is a much more
satisfactory solution.
1044
01:12:05,403 --> 01:12:07,488
We can have her arrested.
1045
01:12:07,614 --> 01:12:09,741
Arrested? On what charges?
1046
01:12:09,866 --> 01:12:12,910
It's so happens
that there is a law on the books
1047
01:12:13,036 --> 01:12:15,204
that dates back to the Salem trials.
1048
01:12:15,997 --> 01:12:18,749
It's specifically forbids and I quote,
1049
01:12:18,875 --> 01:12:23,375
"Any town's person from practicing
the ancient arts of spell casting,
1050
01:12:24,673 --> 01:12:29,173
"demonology, alchemy
and conjuration."
1051
01:12:31,221 --> 01:12:35,308
The charge,
my fellow council members, is...
1052
01:12:37,143 --> 01:12:38,811
...witchcraft.
1053
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:45,443
Let me outta here!
Let me outta here!
1054
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:47,112
Pipe down in there!
1055
01:12:47,237 --> 01:12:49,155
Hey, I've seen the "People's Court".
1056
01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:51,783
I'm entitled to one phone call
and a strip search.
1057
01:12:52,492 --> 01:12:54,702
Well, there's a payphone
right across the street.
1058
01:12:54,828 --> 01:12:57,789
What's the matter?
You forget where you put your broom?
1059
01:12:57,914 --> 01:13:01,667
Listen, fatso, if I had a broom,
I know exactly where I'd put it!
1060
01:13:05,422 --> 01:13:07,882
Oh, this is swell!
I can just hear Manny now.
1061
01:13:08,508 --> 01:13:11,511
"Hello, Vegas! We got a slight crimp
in the plans for the show.
1062
01:13:11,636 --> 01:13:13,679
"Yeah, the star was burned
at the stake."
1063
01:13:13,805 --> 01:13:16,182
Elvira... great news.
1064
01:13:16,308 --> 01:13:19,728
I got you the best lawyer in the county.
He'll be here first thing in the morning.
1065
01:13:19,853 --> 01:13:22,146
Bob, in the morning?
1066
01:13:22,272 --> 01:13:25,066
First thing in the morning
I'll be able to fit in an ashtray!
1067
01:13:25,650 --> 01:13:28,277
- You gotta get me outta here.
- But how?
1068
01:13:29,237 --> 01:13:31,322
The book! It's my only chance.
1069
01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:33,450
- Quick! Run to the house and get it!
- OK.
1070
01:13:33,909 --> 01:13:35,327
Oh, and, Bob, wait!
1071
01:13:36,244 --> 01:13:37,370
What?
1072
01:13:37,495 --> 01:13:39,872
I hid it under the floorboard
in the living room.
1073
01:13:39,998 --> 01:13:40,999
OK.
1074
01:13:41,124 --> 01:13:43,251
Oh, and, Bob...
1075
01:13:44,502 --> 01:13:46,378
- What?
- Hurry!
1076
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:54,846
Hey, move!
1077
01:13:54,971 --> 01:13:56,472
Get down low.
1078
01:14:08,193 --> 01:14:09,569
Now.
1079
01:14:15,033 --> 01:14:17,869
What are you whining about?
I'm the one getting barbecued.
1080
01:14:27,671 --> 01:14:29,589
Oh. Sorry.
1081
01:14:46,731 --> 01:14:48,899
At last it's mine.
1082
01:14:49,025 --> 01:14:51,402
The power is mine!
1083
01:15:00,286 --> 01:15:02,204
Gonk, don't have a conniption fit.
1084
01:15:13,591 --> 01:15:16,552
Whoa. It must have done
too much antacid in the '60s.
1085
01:15:18,304 --> 01:15:22,224
Four, six, eight,
who do we incinerate?
1086
01:15:22,350 --> 01:15:25,728
Elvira! Elvira! Elvira!
1087
01:15:37,323 --> 01:15:39,116
Thank goodness, Padre!
1088
01:15:39,242 --> 01:15:40,952
I am here to save you,
my child.
1089
01:15:41,077 --> 01:15:44,205
At last, someone who can
talk some sense into these people.
1090
01:15:46,541 --> 01:15:50,378
Lord, save this wretched
creature's soul!
1091
01:15:50,503 --> 01:15:55,003
Even though her creamy white flesh
will burn and sizzle.
1092
01:16:05,769 --> 01:16:08,730
Well, isn't that convenient?
1093
01:16:11,941 --> 01:16:13,692
Thanks for trying, you guys.
1094
01:16:14,527 --> 01:16:15,861
Elvira!
1095
01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:32,837
Gonk?
1096
01:16:33,630 --> 01:16:35,006
Is that you, boy?
1097
01:16:42,514 --> 01:16:45,183
Good work, Gonk.
1098
01:16:45,308 --> 01:16:49,729
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1099
01:16:49,854 --> 01:16:51,772
Do you smoke?
1100
01:16:51,898 --> 01:16:53,900
Guess we'll find out soon enough.
1101
01:16:54,025 --> 01:16:57,069
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1102
01:16:57,195 --> 01:16:59,030
Out of the way!
1103
01:16:59,155 --> 01:17:03,284
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1104
01:17:03,409 --> 01:17:07,871
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1105
01:17:07,997 --> 01:17:11,375
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1106
01:17:16,506 --> 01:17:18,257
Oh, no!
You're not gonna believe this!
1107
01:17:18,383 --> 01:17:21,135
- I left my oven on. I'll be a minute.
- Oh!
1108
01:17:23,096 --> 01:17:27,266
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1109
01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:29,227
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1110
01:17:31,104 --> 01:17:33,189
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1111
01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:35,024
Any last words?
1112
01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:36,484
Uh, just one.
1113
01:17:36,609 --> 01:17:38,819
Help!
1114
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:43,616
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1115
01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:48,413
Hold it! Hold it down!
Quiet! Quiet!
1116
01:17:52,458 --> 01:17:55,043
And now by the power
vested in me
1117
01:17:55,170 --> 01:17:57,505
by the sovereign state
of Massachusetts,
1118
01:17:57,630 --> 01:18:02,130
I do hereby pronounce sentence
on Elvira, the prisoner.
1119
01:18:03,261 --> 01:18:05,221
Death by fire!
1120
01:18:08,057 --> 01:18:09,391
Hold it, Sheriff.
1121
01:18:10,602 --> 01:18:12,312
What you're doing is wrong.
1122
01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,855
Patty?
1123
01:18:13,980 --> 01:18:17,483
It'll catch faster,
if you light it in several places.
1124
01:18:19,110 --> 01:18:20,444
Patty, no!
1125
01:18:23,573 --> 01:18:26,200
We ought to have one of these
every year!
1126
01:18:27,076 --> 01:18:29,828
- Burn in hell, witch!
- Patty!
1127
01:18:29,954 --> 01:18:34,454
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
1128
01:18:35,084 --> 01:18:38,712
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1129
01:18:43,259 --> 01:18:44,551
Burn her!
1130
01:18:45,345 --> 01:18:48,765
Bye, kids. It's been swell.
1131
01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:50,975
Just send my ashes to Las Vegas.
1132
01:18:51,517 --> 01:18:53,227
Let me through!
1133
01:18:55,146 --> 01:18:56,772
- Elvira!
- Bob!
1134
01:19:03,279 --> 01:19:04,947
- Hi, Bob.
- Patty...
1135
01:19:06,199 --> 01:19:07,742
You're not a very nice person.
1136
01:19:07,867 --> 01:19:11,245
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
Burn the witch! Burn the witch...
1137
01:19:16,751 --> 01:19:18,127
Gonk?
1138
01:19:24,259 --> 01:19:28,096
'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1139
01:19:32,684 --> 01:19:34,644
The ring!
1140
01:20:11,097 --> 01:20:12,431
Are you all right?
1141
01:20:21,441 --> 01:20:24,402
Look, the lunar eclipse.
1142
01:20:25,486 --> 01:20:27,821
Remember? Your aunt's letter.
1143
01:20:27,947 --> 01:20:30,658
"When the moon falls
under the Earth shadow..."
1144
01:20:31,617 --> 01:20:34,202
- Yeah, so?
- Vincent's got the book!
1145
01:20:46,883 --> 01:20:48,384
Elvira!
1146
01:20:51,429 --> 01:20:54,473
Elvira!
1147
01:20:54,599 --> 01:20:56,434
Gonk! Where is Gonk?
1148
01:20:59,854 --> 01:21:01,730
You tricky little devil!
1149
01:21:06,027 --> 01:21:07,737
Oh!
1150
01:21:07,862 --> 01:21:11,490
Vincent, remember us?
We're on your side.
1151
01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,659
Swine!
1152
01:21:27,632 --> 01:21:29,133
Stay back.
1153
01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:38,976
Sic him, Gonk!
1154
01:21:49,737 --> 01:21:51,572
Don't make me use this!
1155
01:21:56,911 --> 01:21:59,580
The amulet could not protect
your mother
1156
01:21:59,705 --> 01:22:01,832
and it won't save you.
1157
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:06,295
Kaldozar ipsole.
1158
01:22:10,675 --> 01:22:12,885
Oh. So you wanna play rough, eh?
1159
01:22:13,010 --> 01:22:14,386
Well, take this!
1160
01:22:19,517 --> 01:22:22,561
Huh? What? Uh...
1161
01:22:43,374 --> 01:22:46,585
You cannot escape me,
daughter of Devana.
1162
01:22:46,711 --> 01:22:49,839
I shall destroy you as I did her.
1163
01:23:00,308 --> 01:23:01,767
Are you looking for me?
1164
01:23:09,275 --> 01:23:12,569
Did you think
you could stop me with your toys?
1165
01:23:13,988 --> 01:23:17,032
No, but I figured
it'd be worth a shot. Look!
1166
01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:08,625
Cosa! Terra! Obtan!
1167
01:24:09,877 --> 01:24:11,587
Sure, that's easy for you to say.
1168
01:24:38,656 --> 01:24:42,826
Ooh! That hurts!
1169
01:24:49,875 --> 01:24:51,209
Now, baby.
1170
01:24:55,298 --> 01:24:56,757
Hey.
1171
01:24:57,758 --> 01:25:00,719
We have a little unfinished business.
1172
01:25:01,762 --> 01:25:03,263
Yeah, well, uh...
1173
01:25:03,973 --> 01:25:05,474
I think we could do business, uh...
1174
01:25:06,350 --> 01:25:08,185
Uh, yeah, sure.
I can dig it.
1175
01:25:08,311 --> 01:25:10,354
Uh, I'm cool, bro.
1176
01:25:10,479 --> 01:25:13,690
You know, what it is.
Where it's at. Uh...
1177
01:25:13,816 --> 01:25:15,484
I'll show you where it's at.
1178
01:25:57,193 --> 01:26:01,693
I am Master of the Dark!
1179
01:26:01,906 --> 01:26:05,576
Then I'll see you in hell first.
1180
01:26:50,996 --> 01:26:55,041
And now, Elvira, you die!
1181
01:27:26,574 --> 01:27:30,536
'Remember,
you carry the power with you.'
1182
01:27:52,266 --> 01:27:54,309
So what did the insurance guy say?
1183
01:27:56,437 --> 01:27:59,064
My policy doesn't cover
acts of demons.
1184
01:28:01,817 --> 01:28:03,944
Well, at least you still got the ring.
1185
01:28:05,196 --> 01:28:07,990
Yeah, but the only thing
I can get it to do any more is look cheap.
1186
01:28:11,827 --> 01:28:13,453
Gosh, Elvira, I'm sorry.
1187
01:28:14,246 --> 01:28:16,456
I know you had your heart set
on playing Las Vegas.
1188
01:28:18,918 --> 01:28:21,420
I'm just not the kind of girl
whose dreams come true.
1189
01:28:22,797 --> 01:28:24,590
I do better on nightmares.
1190
01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:30,930
I wish there was something
I could do.
1191
01:28:31,806 --> 01:28:34,767
Yeah,
don't worry about me, Bob.
1192
01:28:34,892 --> 01:28:37,686
I'm like fake fruit.
I don't bruise that easy.
1193
01:28:40,105 --> 01:28:41,606
There he is, up there.
1194
01:28:44,860 --> 01:28:46,862
Uh-oh. Here comes the lynch mob.
1195
01:28:46,987 --> 01:28:49,072
Hey, take it easy, take it easy.
I'm leaving.
1196
01:28:49,198 --> 01:28:51,617
- We don't want you to go.
- No, no.
1197
01:28:51,742 --> 01:28:53,243
This is our way of saying
1198
01:28:53,369 --> 01:28:55,996
we were wrong about you
and we're sorry.
1199
01:28:56,121 --> 01:28:59,290
Elvira, you're the best thing
that ever happened to our town.
1200
01:28:59,416 --> 01:29:03,336
You've touched a part of my son that...
that nobody's ever touched before.
1201
01:29:03,462 --> 01:29:04,796
I wish.
1202
01:29:06,298 --> 01:29:10,468
As long as you're in Fallwell you will
always have a free room at the Cozy Cot.
1203
01:29:10,594 --> 01:29:12,137
Aw!
1204
01:29:13,138 --> 01:29:15,223
Wait! Just a minute, Leslie!
1205
01:29:15,349 --> 01:29:16,933
Shut up, you old bag.
1206
01:29:24,358 --> 01:29:25,817
Well, I finally got it running.
1207
01:29:26,986 --> 01:29:28,320
Great!
1208
01:29:29,613 --> 01:29:31,781
At least now I'll have a place to live.
1209
01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:34,660
But I still don't know
how I'm gonna pay you for it.
1210
01:29:34,785 --> 01:29:37,162
Don't worry.
We'll work out something.
1211
01:29:37,955 --> 01:29:39,289
Elvira...
1212
01:29:41,166 --> 01:29:42,834
I'm, uh...
1213
01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:47,381
I'm s... sorry that I set you on fire
and everything and, uh...
1214
01:29:48,007 --> 01:29:49,758
I hope there are no hard feelings.
1215
01:29:50,593 --> 01:29:52,970
Don't worry.
She's bigger than that.
1216
01:29:53,095 --> 01:29:56,598
Yeah, a lot bigger.
1217
01:29:56,724 --> 01:30:00,519
Elvira, I've got some important papers
that you're gonna have to sign.
1218
01:30:00,644 --> 01:30:03,313
With your uncle gone
you're the only heir to his estate.
1219
01:30:04,899 --> 01:30:07,943
- I am?
- Not an inconsiderable one at that.
1220
01:30:09,445 --> 01:30:10,779
Las Vegas!
1221
01:30:10,905 --> 01:30:13,115
Elvira, that's fantastic!
1222
01:30:13,240 --> 01:30:14,699
Las Vegas!
1223
01:30:15,784 --> 01:30:17,327
Las Vegas!
1224
01:30:18,078 --> 01:30:19,412
Las Vegas!
1225
01:30:23,584 --> 01:30:25,794
'Ladies and gentlemen,
1226
01:30:25,920 --> 01:30:28,422
'The Flamingo Hotel is proud
1227
01:30:28,547 --> 01:30:33,047
'to present
the Mistress of the Dark, Elvira!'
1228
01:30:34,219 --> 01:30:38,056
♪ I've always dreamed of doing this
1229
01:30:38,182 --> 01:30:42,436
♪ And now I've got my chance
1230
01:30:42,561 --> 01:30:46,439
♪ So excuse me
while I indulge myself
1231
01:30:47,149 --> 01:30:51,649
♪ In a little song and dance
1232
01:31:12,174 --> 01:31:14,718
♪ Well, if you're looking for trouble
1233
01:31:16,053 --> 01:31:19,639
♪ Here I am
1234
01:31:19,765 --> 01:31:23,185
♪ And if you wanna see double
1235
01:31:23,310 --> 01:31:27,230
♪ Here I am
1236
01:31:27,356 --> 01:31:31,276
♪ I don't do
what the good girls do
1237
01:31:31,402 --> 01:31:35,447
♪ Bad dreams really do come true
1238
01:31:43,122 --> 01:31:47,622
♪ Here I am
1239
01:31:50,671 --> 01:31:52,547
♪ I'm a bitch in black
so you better stand back
1240
01:31:52,673 --> 01:31:54,216
♪ You might get motion sickness
or a heart attack
1241
01:31:54,341 --> 01:31:56,092
♪ I can really rap up
with the swelling in your pocket
1242
01:31:56,218 --> 01:31:58,053
♪ Make your eyeballs drop
right out of their socket
1243
01:31:58,178 --> 01:31:59,929
♪ I'm rough, I'm tough,
I'm woman enough
1244
01:32:00,055 --> 01:32:01,806
♪ So get ready
I'm gonna do my stuff
1245
01:32:01,932 --> 01:32:03,600
♪ I can take it, I can shake it
I can cook it, I can bake it
1246
01:32:03,726 --> 01:32:05,602
♪ If I don't have the recipe
I'll fake it
1247
01:32:05,728 --> 01:32:07,688
♪ I'm a volcano that's ready to blow
1248
01:32:07,813 --> 01:32:09,981
♪ Look out y'all 'cause here I go ♪
1249
01:33:05,245 --> 01:33:07,288
Yeah! All right!
1250
01:33:15,422 --> 01:33:16,756
For me? Oh!
1251
01:33:29,937 --> 01:33:32,356
Unpleasant dreams.
93065
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