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No one claps, 'cause...

- I clap. - Well, you...

Well, no one can hear it right because it doesn't sound right.

It's off.

Fred's audio isn't modulated properly. That's the problem.

Yeah, but if he gets a better system,

he might start charging us for drinks.

He's giving me shit about new songs.

He can't even get a monitor that doesn't cut out every two minutes.

You gotta maintain your equipment.

- You gotta point your toe. - Okay.

He wants new songs?

Ow!

Oh, no!

I can't just crank them out like pancakes.

Hey, let's make pancakes.

Hello?

Yes, this is he.

What, Marcus?

- Why haven't you picked up the phone? - I'm sleeping.

What if it was serious, and you're not answering?

But I did answer.

Look, it's 6:00 in the morning, Marcus.

What do you want?

It's Mom and Dad.

You know, the thing is, though, a single-engine Cessna,

it doesn't actually crash, all right?

The engine cuts out, they glide.

That's what they're designed to do.

- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about...

Planes in the air are heavy objects way up in the sky.

When they drop out and hit the ground, that's a crash.

All planes have that capability. All planes have that capability.

- This one was downed by weather. That's totally different. - How is that any different?

It's different, because I would go up

in a single-engine plane any day of the week

as long as we're checking the radar.

But, like, only a moron goes up without checking the weather.

Gentlemen, this food is meant to be served after the eulogy.

Okay.

Why? Why?

It's so unfair!

It's okay. I know.

Ugh!

Hey, sweetheart.

Hi.

Bill Tully, Alex's dad.

Oh, sorry. It's been a while.

I'm sorry about your folks.

Thanks, Bill.

Let me get that for you.

Look who I found outside.

Hi, Michelle.

Hi, Alex.

How are you?

I'm sorry. "How are you?" That's a dumb thing to say!

Aw, I'm sorry, buddy.

How are you holding up?

I'm fine.

Really. I mean, the truth is I barely knew them, so...

things are much easier.

I could see that making it much harder.

No, it's easier.

Where are we putting this stuff?

Oh. Um, just find somewhere to stash that.

Okay.

- We'll see you in there. - Mm-hmm.

Hi.

So, now that you're here, I can probably take off, right?

- You got this? - Oh, yeah.

If you wanna go, let's get the fuck out of here. I don't have to go in there.

You can't go anywhere.

I mean, someone has to stay and comfort these... people.

Still waiting for it to hit me.

What if it doesn't?

Oh, God! Look at these.

You remember those? They brought those home for Christmas when we were kids.

I remember.

Michelle dear, oh!

- And, Marcus. - Mm-hmm.

Marcus dear!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

And both at the same time!

Yes, it's very sad. Thank you...

Yes.

For coming.

They would have truly appreciated it.

You know, they were saints.

They really were.

Mm-hmm.

Saints.

That's what I hear.

Are we terrible people?

We can't be. We're the children of saints.

When Andy and Marian Brinks first came to my village,

I was 11 years old.

And to me, they were more than doctors or aid workers.

They were family.

I biked here from Silver Lake tonight.

And to this day, every time I ride a bicycle,

I remember these two people...

these two beautiful people

who taught me how to ride, who taught my whole village how to ride bicycles.

Oh, my God!

Most of us will truly touch only a few lives.

Andy and Marian touched thousands and thousands of lives.

Thank you.

At this time, we invite the next of kin to speak.

You're gonna be great.

I know.

Well, thank you for being here... today.

My parents...

they would have just loved to see all of you here.

They would have just loved it.

A moving and concise tribute.

Yeah, yeah, you used to ask me to give you a massage during pre-calc.

- How do you not remember that? - I don't remember that at all.

- You're lying! You're lying. - I'm not.

So, your mom never showed.

She doesn't wanna see you.

Well, I'm not exactly dying to see her either,

but I came.

She called. She talked to Marcus for a while.

Well, did she send anything?

Yeah, the orchids.

- Typical! - Stop!

Let me tell you something. They were angels on Earth.

They were such spectacular people.

What's wrong with you?

This fucking guy.

It was crazy!

Talking about riding a bike with Dad.

I never once rode a bike with Dad. Did you?

We had Big Wheels in Haiti.

They're off fixing harelips, teaching mandolin to UNICEF kids,

and we're at home,

fending for ourselves with the nannies.

Oh, fucking Inez.

Mmm. Gretchen.

Courtney.

- That one with the toes. - My God! Those toes!

I liked her.

- One more time! - Please!

Whoo!

You think these are still good?

Ugh! Day-old salmon mousse?

I'll stick with these.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Look at you two.

This is, like, a...

like a real house.

Thanks.

I like it.

There's leftovers.

Ugh!

It's D.

Oh, this one?

No, D.

Which one is D?

You just play it if you're so smart.

Yeah, shove over.

It's your turn.

It's your turn.

Sing with me.

I was born in Michigan

And I wish and wish again

Where?

In the place...

No, that's later.

It stays the same.

It's... "In the river that flows beside the..."

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I'm gonna get dressed.

It's your turn.

The two of you have been named

as the, uh, equal benefactors in the estate,

which should be really simple,

but your parents' finances, unfortunately, are a mess.

Did they confide in you at all about their finances?

They haven't.

No, me either.

They've been living all over the world for the last 15 years

in the developing countries.

I could not find any money in any bank.

Their records are in nine different languages.

So, what are we supposed to do?

Well, if we had some paperwork, that could certainly...

Sorry.

Uh, I've been on the phone to Sri Lanka,

and I got a tracking number for a delivery that's coming to your house.

What are they sending?

They're sending paperwork and personal belongings.

I... don't want any of their belongings.

No, you don't want your parents' personal belongings.

But you might want that paperwork,

because if you don't have the paperwork,

it would take a very long time

for those assets to change hands.

So, you want the paperwork.

Okay.

Okay.

So, get the paperwork,

and I'll divvy up the assets between the two of you.

Right now, the only thing that I have confirmed, um...

the, uh, California property.

Wait. The land in Joshua Tree?

That was promised to me, so we're not divvying that up.

Yes, the land in Joshua Tree and, uh... your house.

- Whose house? - Your house.

The house you live in in Highland Park.

No, that's my home.

Alex and I bought it from them.

That's not what it says here.

What it says here is that you are the guarantor on the mortgage agreement,

and that the house is still in your parents' name.

So your house is Mom and Dad's house?

It's not Mom and Dad's house. It's my house.

They helped us out on the down payment.

Alex and I pay the mortgage. It's our house.

Doesn't sound like it.

Why don't you come back...

when you have the paperwork?

- So, we're renters? - We're not renters.

Mom and Dad's names are still on the house. That's all.

Oh, my God!

I just think it's amazing.

I haven't gotten a birthday present since I was 10,

but you, they get a house.

It was a wedding present.

I thought their present was the Vitamix.

It was both.

Of course they got you a Vitamix too.

I said we weren't ready to buy a house.

Listen, they gave us a down payment.

We took over the mortgage. We pay it every month.

It's our house.

But they never put your names on the deed, so it's our house.

Should we paint a line down the middle?

Your half? My half?

Maybe that's what Mom and Dad would have liked.

Mom and Dad would have bought you a house

if you ever stuck around or kept in touch with them.

Kept in touch? You hated Mom and Dad.

But I e-mailed them.

I am learning a lot about the Brinks family.

You're in the Brinks family.

All right, these top shelves are for you.

You can unpack.

I'm not staying that long.

Look, it's not a problem. I can move all this stuff, okay?

I want you to unpack, settle in.

That's nice, really,

but I'm not gonna be here that long.

I can just live out of my suitcase.

Let's get you unpacked.

Hey, Marcus...

- Come on. - Come on.

- Give it to me. - Marcus.

- Ow! - Let go.

You got a problem?

- Come on. Come on. - Marcus, give me my bag.

Marcus, give me my... I don't know what's in it.

- Just let me... - Give me my stuff!

God damn it! Come on! Just let...

Ow! Come on!

Ow! Not the... You know my back is sensitive.

Let go! Get off me! Get off! Get off!

I put the good pink towels in the guest bath,

but I forgot shampoo and stuff.

- Okay. - You think Michelle needs shampoo?

I don't know.

I'll ask her in the morning.

You know, you look very sexy when you put on that green, crazy face.

Yeah, I bet.

It's like this is your true, alien lizard face

under your human lady skin mask.

Let's breed a half-human half-lizard super-race...

- Babe, come on. - ...to rule the world.

Come on! Come on!

Hey. Hey! Stop! Stop.

Aargh!

Sorry. This just doesn't feel right.

I mean, you're grieving.

Grieving? Screw that! We're here. They're gone.

Fuck them!

Hey, don't say that.

I'm just trying to make love to my beautiful wife.

Can't we just do that still?

My lizard planet has sent me here

to study human mating rituals,

and I must beam back a thorough report

on the subject very soon.

Okay.

- Just don't say, "Fuck them." - Okay.

You don't really feel that way.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay. - All right.

All right, here we go.

- Gonna bring the heat now. - Okay.

I don't know if I'm ready.

Oh, shit.

- Nice! - Oh!

You had some serious strokes over there.

I'm impressed.

I don't stay on my toes, I don't keep my eye on the ball,

and I don't follow through on my backhand.

- That's what they always tell me. - Whatever. They're wrong.

You gotta show me that western grip. It's beautiful.

And that backhand...

I love that follow-through. It's perfect.

Your serve.

Yeah, back and forth.

Faster, faster, faster. Okay, now stop.

Now, slow. Slow.

Slow.

Good. Okay, little circles.

Little circles.

And now, faster, faster, faster.

Faster, faster.

Okay, actually... Stop. Stop, stop, stop.

What's the matter?

I just... This is wrong.

Ugh! This is totally... This is terrible. Let me fix the angle.

Why don't we move the seat back, and I can recline it, and then I'll be able to...

- No. - We can get in the backseat. Wanna get in the backseat?

No, the whole thing is just...

just wrong.

Oh, I thought you wanted...

Yeah, it was an idea I had.

It was a good idea.

- It was a real good idea. - Ugh!

"Ugh"? What do you mean "ugh"?

Sorry. I'm not feeling it.

You're not feeling it, okay. I did not instigate it.

Don't give me a hard time. You picked me up at a funeral.

I didn't pick you up. I thought we were playing tennis.

Can you take me home?

Holy shit!

Oh, my gosh!

Babe!

Check it out!

Holy shit!

I know! Damn right!

Yeah, we grew it from seed!

- Marcus Brinks? - Yeah?

I got a lot of shit for you, man.

All right, so I'm confirming delivery of 24 parcels,

including one bio-shipping crate with live animal contents,

and that is everything.

Live animal contents?

Yeah, one live mammal, 30 pounds.

A mammal? Nobody said anything about an animal.

Your parents had a thirty-pound monkey?

It's not a monkey.

Oh, hi, little guy.

Don't be scared.

If I could just get a signature, I'll be on my way.

You can delivery animals to people who don't want them?

No, if you refuse delivery, it just goes back on my truck.

Great. Thank you. Take it away.

No, I mean it all goes back on the truck.

What are we gonna do with this thing?

It's cute. He looks like a bear.

Shouldn't be too hard

to find a home for a cute-looking bear.

We can't get rid of him. It's your parents' pet.

This is not a pet. They didn't keep pets.

This is some kind of jungle beast.

It probably lived under their car.

What the fuck is all this?

Were you guys expecting this much stuff?

I wasn't expecting any of this.

I was expecting, like, one box

with some fucking jewels, and bank statements, and financial forms.

I don't know what any of this shit is.

It's like every stupid thing they ever owned.

Oh, good! Their disgusting toiletries.

Here, look, I've inherited Dad's denture bath.

You've inherited? That's half mine.

Jell-O mold. That's cool.

Hey, focus up.

We're looking for documents, okay?

No paperwork, Paul.

I don't know who you talked to, but they didn't send any documents.

They managed to ship a goddamned pet dog,

but not a single piece of paper.

Oh, and, yeah, my parents' ice cube tray, too.

Oh, hey, listen, just make yourself at home.

I'm sorry we're leaving you here by yourself.

Oh, please, I'll be fine.

We have all the movie channels, and if you want...

Honestly, I'm glad to finally be rid of you two assholes.

I don't doubt that.

Hey, come on. Let's go. I'm late.

Yeah, I know it doesn't help. That's what I'm saying.

Just send me the phone number.

I'll call over there in the morning.

See what this is all about.

They do have phones, right?

Is any of this shit yours?

You got, like, a toy or a bone or something in here?

- Hello. - Hi.

There's a dog in your front yard.

Oh, yeah. It came in the mail.

Along with the rest of this shit.

What is all this?

My parents' stuff.

Oh, yeah?

Wow!

It's, like, everything they ever owned.

- I'm looking for Alex. - Everybody is working tonight.

No one is home to appreciate this look I'm cultivating.

Classy.

Is this look working?

Yes, against you.

All the best people are from La Jolla, Michelle.

Gregory Peck was from La Jolla, you know.

Have you looked through all these?

- What are those? - Home movies.

"Maury's wedding."

"Fourth of July on Erdman Avenue."

A bunch of cousins I never met.

Hmm. That must have come in handy during monsoon season.

Which children need malaria pills?

Line them up. I'm here to save them.

in my pink caftan and my blue eyeshadow.

I better go.

Tell Alex I stopped by, all right?

Don't go.

I'm alone here with all this...

Stay and have a drink with me?

Will you?

One drink.

Sit.

Wait over there.

Yeah, Michelle, I think I'm gonna get going.

I'm gonna take a rain check on that drink, okay?

Oh, honey, no!

What in the world are you doing?

You always do the right thing, don't you?

Not always, but now.

How about now?

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Are you sure they're not gonna come home?

They're out for the night.

This is such a bad idea!

I know.

It's Dr.... Hmm?

No, no, no!

I've been on hold for... three hours already, basically.

Brinks!

Look, I've been through everything, every box. It's all junk.

I need paperwork.

No, don't put me on hold again. Damn it!

Morning.

I've been on the phone for an hour. This is insane.

Do you want me to talk to them?

Hello? Yes?

Yes? Hello?

No, this is Marcus Brinks. Where's the person I was just talking to a minute ago?

The last person!

No, don't put me on... Fuck!

Hey, it's okay. We'll get it taken care of.

It's not okay.

I'm stuck in a loop.

This is gonna take the pressure off.

It's gonna give me some fucking breathing room.

I need this! Aah!

Ow!

Are you okay?

I'm stuck in a loop. Oh, fuck!

It's not exactly a pain in the ears,

but there are balance issues. That's the ears, right?

Balance issues?

I just feel like I wanna lie down a lot of the time.

That doesn't really sound like a balance issue.

It sounds like fatigue.

Are you experiencing any dizziness or vertigo?

Yes, totally,

and disorientation,

and something that has located itself in my glands.

Those are your lymph nodes.

Oh.

There's no swelling.

Is there tenderness? Does this hurt?

Not so much tender as, like... I'm aware of them.

I just feel like one shouldn't be so aware of their own lymph nodes.

There's no cure for lymph node awareness.

Once you know they exist, the knowledge is permanent.

I just don't feel right, Doc.

Hey.

- What are you doing here? - I'm here to see you.

You can't come here to see me.

They're gonna be back any minute.

I come here all the time.

Let me take you out to lunch. Come on. Let's go.

Last night was a random act

of horrible, self-indulgent behavior.

It was wonderful.

Once.

God! You're so beautiful.

Take off your shoes.

No, thank you.

Come on.

You get nutrients through your feet. Walk with me.

I'm not taking my shoes off here.

All right.

But, you know, the Earth gives you all of its electricity

into your body up through your feet.

It's electric.

It's cosmic.

You are a goofball hippie

with a head full of half-baked bullshit.

Well, you're a hairy, fire-fighting ape

who isn't open to anything new.

Dr. Brinks and Dr. Brinks. Andrew and Marian Brinks.

Brinks.

B-R-I-N-K-S spells Brinks.

Uh-huh. Hello? Can you hear me?

Okay, folder, yellow folder. Folder is good.

Does it have forms, like, financial-type bank statement things?

Fax! Yes!

Yes, I have the lawyer's fax number.

I will send you his fax number... Yes! ...to send the papers.

- Alex! - What?

The clinic has the...

...papers!

The clinic has the papers!

- The clinic has the papers! - The clinic has the papers!

The clinic has the papers! The clinic has the papers!

Well, we have four days on, and then four overnights,

and then four days off.

What do you do all night in a firehouse?

Sleep.

You don't fight fires at night?

Only if there's a fire.

I could get used to that schedule.

It's hell on a marriage.

I'll bet.

Alex invited me for dinner tonight at the house, the four of us.

Yeah, right.

Are you crazy?

You can't come over for dinner tonight.

Alex invited me. What was I supposed to say?

I guess I'll see you for dinner.

That's the spirit!

Oh, hey.

What are you looking at?

Mmm. You want some of this?

There's plenty to go around.

Get you a little dish. You're gonna love it.

Huh? Try it.

You don't want that? You don't like it?

Hello?

Hi! Yay! I can hear you.

What are you talking about?

I rented a car. My Bluetooth works.

I was just testing it. Okay, bye.

Wait. Hold on. Why did you rent a car?

Um, I figured I'd be stuck here for a few days at least

waiting for Mom and Dad's money stuff to work out.

- They found all the paperwork. - Oh.

They're sending it over to Paul as we speak.

Okay, great. Well, whatever.

I have a car, and I'm headed home.

Are you feeling better?

I feel like a million bucks. You wanna go out and do something?

Let's turn it around, baby.

Yeah! The clinic has the papers!

Sure does, and I'm feeling tip-top!

Great! Are you gonna hang around here and write today,

or are you gonna come to the store with me?

What? No, I'm going out.

With who?

Oh, Michelle. She rented a car.

My dad is coming over for dinner.

Great. Oh, you should go ahead and scrub down the grill if we're gonna cook out.

There's a lot of spiderwebs.

Hey! Hello!

Sorry. Love you.

So, you thought about what you're gonna do after this?

- What do you mean? - You gonna move back to Philly?

- It's where I live. - Now.

I mean, you live anywhere you want to, but I live here.

Mm-hmm. I lived here already.

When I move, I like to go somewhere new.

Don't you miss California?

I do miss California.

Mm-hmm. We could use you.

You ever thought about settling down,

just for a little while, with your big bro?

I'm not thinking about settling anywhere.

Fine, not settling down.

Settling down is for squares. Fuck settling down.

But settling in?

Oh, man! Come on. It's the best!

- Stop saying "settling." - No, I will not.

Settling in is...

What about roll? Like roll into town for a while.

Yeah, that's better.

Just roll around nice and slow,

and then you just roll... to a stop.

- Uh-huh? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, I get it. You got a guy back there?

- No. - Right.

- Not at all. - I know you.

You think you know me?

I sort of know you.

Uh, sweetheart, cut the lemons into circles

and quarter the limes. And would you pass me that pepper?

We should get a Jacuzzi.

Gross!

- No, everybody loves a hot tub. - You see?

Yeah, everyone who's into staph infections.

- If we had one, you'd be in it every night. - Gross!

These mushrooms don't have any butter.

That is not my fault.

Butter kills. Olive oil is a superfood.

Sweetheart, I was raised on bacon and butter sandwiches.

So were your grandparents. They lived well into their 90s.

How long do you think I wanna live?

Nice old-timer story. How much did you pay for a gallon of milk?

I had to squeeze the teats myself.

Dad!

Doesn't sound so bad to me.

No, it doesn't.

- Are you kidding me? - What?

You're fucking Bill?

You're out of your mind.

Bullshit! I know what you look like when you're in heat.

"Oh, I like it when you old-timers squeeze my teats."

Oh, my God!

That's not even close to what I said.

So, you're denying this?

I was right. Jesus Christ!

Michelle, you're fucking with a long-standing marriage.

A marriage is a bond between two people,

my wife's parents.

They're separated.

They do this all the time.

They split up. They realize that they're better off together.

They patch it up. It's what they do.

- He's not happy. - They're Alex's parents.

She doesn't want them to split up.

- Are you working against us? - What do you want me to say?

Uh, that you're a selfish, flaky, fucked-up person,

who can only think about herself.

- Come on, Marcus. - This has to end.

It will.

The paperwork is here, and I'm gonna be gone in a couple of days.

This is really delicious, Dad. Thank you.

The trick is you squirt the steaks with lime juice before

and then after the grill.

Mmm.

Steaks? Swordfish, right?

We're eating fish, not steaks.

Yeah, it's a fish, but the cut is called a steak.

Well, in this house, steaks come from cows.

Don't serve fish and call it a steak.

All right, got it, buddy. It won't happen again.

It's just that there's a moral issue at play here.

What moral issue?

A cut of fish can be a steak. That's a...

I'm talking about personal ethics here.

Did you just kick me under the table?

Stop.

It's a steak.

You cut a fish longways, it's a fillet.

You cut it sideways, it's... it's a steak.

I don't know what to tell you.

Who cares what the cut is called, hmm?

Just, sometimes, you have to examine your behavior, you know?

It's like... Like, why do we behave the way we behave?

- You're behaving like an asshole. - What is going on?

It's just that people who know about this kind of thing would say

that it's morally irresponsible to take a fish like this...

out of the ocean...

...snatch it from the jaws of life...

for our carnal pleasure.

You know what I mean?

It's like we can get by without it,

but yet, we feel deserve it.

Do you think that there's a lot of swordfish left?

There aren't.

Well, there were a lot of them down at the seafood market at Pico.

Right.

Oh, I gotta go play.

No, you said you had the night off.

Yeah, it just came up last-minute.

Marcus, please don't leave.

I gotta get. Last-minute, so...

Babe, gotta go. Love you. Sorry. Um...

Good night, everyone.

Thanks for the steak dinner.

Sorry, Dad. I don't even know what's wrong with him.

There's some pretty top-notch Red Communist, Garfield stuff up on eBay right now,

which is awesome.

But I also saw this whole strip just dedicated

to Dennis the Menace having a very special relationship with a priest.

A friend of mine has an original Blondie strip

where Dagwood is hugging Hitler.

- Wow. - Just hugging him.

Just hugging him up. Just hugging it out.

You know who the king is, though?

The guy who did Andy Capp.

Because for every Andy Capp strip

where, like, Andy Capp, "Oh, I don't have a job,"

or, like, Andy Capp is just drinking at the pub with his friends,

there's another strip where Andy Capp and his wife

are, like, really, really pushing the envelope,

and I'm talking, like... sexually speaking.

Wait. S&M, bondage, role playing?

All that stuff. They were pro-sexual.

They were evolved, you know?

But not a single one of those strips ever made it to print

because of the powers that be.

Fucking pencil necks!

It's not right. It's not right.

You know what?

Who are they?

You're goddamned right! Who are they to tell us,

you know, like, what we can see and what we can't see?

You know, we're just Americans.

We're trying to, like, better ourselves

and learn about our bodies.

You know, and you got this great strip

where Flo has just got her hair up in curlers,

and Andy Capp is just popping a bowling pin up her ass, you know?

And she is loving it.

The only thing sticking out is that little nubby thing, but she is...

He's behind her, right?

And he's just, like, twisting it.

But it's like these two married people

just having a really nice moment together.

Swordfish.

Swordfish. I liked it.

You're wearing the necklace I made you for your wedding.

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

I wear it all the time.

I make earrings now if you want them.

No, thanks.

I can't...

When I work with kids, they yank on my earrings.

So, I'm scared they'll rip my ears apart.

Right on.

I didn't know you worked with kids.

I do. I did.

But, um, it wasn't really paying well,

so I'm back to waiting tables.

That sucks.

It does.

Yeah.

But Marcus, uh, he...

teaches piano lessons to help out.

But you can't write songs

when you're working full-time, so...

- You know what you gotta do? - Hmm?

Is teach Marcus how to wait tables...

...and you go back to the school.

Before I add the flecks, we wanna heat up the metal.

So, let's get our safety goggles on,

and we'll get a little heat going.

You really wanna have a circular motion.

Let me get a little more heat on here.

...and hard solder here.

- Hello? - Hi. Are you still up?

We really got to heat things up.

I am.

- Hi. - Hey, come on in.

I went to the store.

- Great! What did you get? - I went to the sex store.

Not what I thought you were gonna say, but okay.

- Are you okay with that? - How could I not be?

What is a sex store?

This is a pretty sad bachelor pad you found yourself, Bill.

You're lucky I'm here.

A sex store is where they sell sex toys.

Let's fuck like rabbits.

- Who wears that? You or me? - You tell me.

I need to tell you, though. I have a low threshold for pain.

If you melt wax on my nipples, I'm gonna scream like a pig.

That's sort of the point.

- All right. All right. - Tight.

- Really tight? - Yeah, really tight.

- Is that too much? - No, tighter.

Or is... That's the last hole.

Okay.

All right, give me this one.

I swear to God, I never know what to expect next from you.

Whip me.

What?

Do you wanna get the whip?

- Do you wanna whip me? - Yeah, yeah.

Okay, it's in the other room.

- All right, I'll go. - In the bag.

All right, I'll get it.

Okay.

Hmm.

Oh, honey, don't cry.

Did I take too long?

I was just... I was choosing a whip.

That was so out of line. I'm so sorry.

I wasn't thinking about you laying out here all exposed like that.

I took way too long. I'm so sorry.

But I just... I couldn't hit that ass with just any old whip, right?

I should have just picked the first whip I saw.

It wasn't you. You didn't do anything.

Well, then what's wrong?

My parents are dead.

I'm gonna undo you from there.

Leave them.

Okay, why don't...

Just... leave me alone for a minute, will you?

Okay.

Hey.

I missed you.

Uh-uh.

Come on.

Come on.

Babe.

We're gonna work on your stroke,

the touch of your fingers on the keys.

Do you know what the word "piano" means?

"Softly."

It means "play it softly."

Quieter than that.

Do you know the expression...

"tickle the ivories"?

Let's try it.

Mm-hmm. Just... Just...

It's great. Even... even quieter.

Uh-huh.

That's great, whatever this is right now.

You hear the silence?

Where the hell you been?

Hi.

- I was with friends. - It's almost noon.

What do you care?

These are affidavits, next of kin.

The lawyer sent them over here hours ago.

We need to sign the goddamned things,

so we can get them back to him, so we can get this all settled.

Okay. Where is all this crazy energy coming from?

I haven't even put my keys down.

So, put them down, sign the papers.

Here they are. They're just sitting here, not signed.

- First of all, you're yelling at me. - Mm-hmm.

And second of all, do I talk to you that way?

There. Was that worth all that drama?

Rachel, one second. I'll be right with you.

Is it over?

I'm handling it.

You said you'd end it, not handle it.

You promised you'd end it.

I'm going to.

You're going to? Why are you going to?

Why aren't you just saying,

"Yeah, it's over.

I promised you I'd do it, and I did it"?

I promised you'd I'd do it, and I'll do it.

I can't trust you.

Why are you overreacting like a mental patient?

Because I haven't barely seen you in five years,

and every chance that you get, you're running out the door.

We've hardly spent any time together.

When is it my turn?

You're only here for a finite amount of time,

and you're spending every minute of it with Bill fucking Tully.

I can't control the way I grieve.

You're doing what you always do.

You run around. You cause trouble.

You stir shit up, you set it on fire, you watch it burn,

and now, you're doing that to me!

Do you wanna yell at me, or do you wanna hang out with me?

Because you have to pick one or the other.

Oh... fuck it.

Shit.

Go away.

No.

I feel so totally alone.

Ugh!

I don't know what I'm doing, Marcus.

You know I'm winging it. You could cut me some slack.

I wish I could be here.

I do. I wish I could... settle down,

and get a house across the street from you,

and we could borrow butter and shit.

But I can't.

Mm-hmm.

Seeing all those people at the wake...

and seeing you...

and those goddamned coconut monkeys.

You know, Mom and Dad, by the way,

didn't bring them back. They sent them back.

They didn't even come home for Christmas that year.

The monkeys came in the fucking mail,

and that was our Christmas.

If you don't remember.

I really don't feel very well.

When someone has suffered severe emotional trauma,

oftentimes, the best thing that I can recommend is

not treatment, but connection,

as in a referral to a top mental health professional.

Mental health? No, this is physical, it's not mental.

Look left.

Look right.

That's a mistake that a lot of people make.

Health is health.

Stress is just like any other environmental factor.

- Environmental factors? - Yes.

The pain is localized around my eyes. Is that environmental?

Are there tests we could run on, like, my optic nerves?

I'm talking more about stress and trauma.

I think it'll be really therapeutic for you

to discuss openly the issues that you're facing with somebody.

Isn't that what I'm doing now?

What is going on?

The red helps my eyes.

The doctor says I need to control my environmental factors.

And this adds moisture.

Moist and red makes me feel better.

"Moist and red."

What are we watching?

Vintage Brinkses?

- Dortmunders. - Ah.

Our cousins.

I never met them.

I'm trying to connect to where I come from.

Is it working?

Not really.

Maybe you should try moist and red.

You don't look good.

What's the matter?

I'm grieving, Paul. I'm bereft.

You don't look bereft. You look ill.

We've been through a lot. Why don't you give us some news?

I have some news...

but it's not good.

I finally figured out why your parents' finances were so difficult to track.

It's 'cause they wanted it that way.

- You should know that the FBI is now working with the IRS... - FBI?

Yes, it seems that your parents took in millions of dollars in charitable donations

and laundered it through a series

of non-existent non-profit organizations.

They're all fraudulent.

These bank accounts are empty.

So, they were, like, con artists?

Whatever your parents were, they were physicians first.

They did practice medicine,

and I'm sure a lot of this money went into their clinics,

but apparently, a lot of the money did not.

So, what about the inheritance? How much cash is there?

There's no cash, Marcus.

There's only debt.

What about my house? Did you find that paperwork?

I did get that paperwork.

The property is still in your parents' name.

Your parents did leave you, Michelle, that property in the Joshua Tree.

- Okay. - But with this enormous debt,

I'm afraid that all of those properties are going to have to liquidated.

They're taking my house?

It's going to cover the bulk of the liability.

It's a good thing.

I'm sorry. I know it's not what you came here to hear.

It actually is what I was hoping to hear,

so thanks, Paul. This is great.

- I'm gonna tell you something. - Okay.

But I don't want you to do what you always do.

What is that supposed to mean? What do I always do?

I just... I don't want you to judge

until you hear all the facts on this, okay?

I want youto see me as me. Hmm?

I'm your dad, but I'm also a man.

Oh, my God! What are you talking about? Are you gay?

No, I'm not gay.

Well, what is it? Are you sick?

No, no, no, no. No, I'm not sick.

- Alexandra... - Hmm?

I have never been better in my life.

Okay.

Hey.

What's going on?

Oh, well, if it isn't Michelle fucking Brinks!

I just spent the afternoon listening to my father

profess his disgusting love for her.

- Wait. It's not what you think. - My father!

He said he hasn't felt so alive since he was 25 years old.

Gross!

Ugh! I told her to end it.

You knew?

No.

I mean, yeah, I knew, you know, but I told her...

You told her? You told her what?

Because you didn't tell me anything.

I told her to stop.

All right, well...

You know what? Fuck you both.

You two deserve each other. I don't need this bullshit.

- Alex... - You are supposed to be my sister-in-law.

Are you fucking crazy?

Alex... Alex!

What are you doing?

- Just don't talk. - You're packing. You're leaving, over this?

I just need some time to think and then to breathe.

I need to be away from the Brinkses for one fucking minute.

Leaving isn't the answer.

The only way we're gonna solve anything is if you stay and talk to me.

I don't wanna talk to you.

- Where are you gonna go? - Away.

So, you're gonna walk out on me the same week that both of my parents died?

I'm sorry...

about your parents.

But the problems I'm talking about

have been around the whole time we've been together.

- The whole time? - Mm-hmm.

Every second we've been together,

I've been walking around committing capital crimes.

What are these crimes?

I don't...

I can't talk about this right now!

I know what it is.

I'm a hypochondriac. I'm a drunk.

I'm a no-talent failure.

No, I...

I do not think you are any of those things.

Except maybe a hypochondriac.

Alex, I love you.

You don't put me in the front of your thoughts,

or anywhere in your thoughts, when you decide to do things.

When is that ever gonna change?

Now.

Soon.

I just don't know how all this happened.

I mean, a husband and a house...

We lost the house.

What?

My parents were...

The bank is gonna claim the house.

That's what I'm talking about.

You're leaving?

Come on.

I need you.

I just... I need to clear the static out of my head.

Me, too. We both do. We can do it together.

Marcus...

you are the static.

Michelle?

Michelle!

It could have just been our special thing.

We could have done it and stopped,

and no one needed to know.

No, and I don't wanna stop.

It's stopped.

You stopped it.

Here's... You don't get it, all right?

I'm willing to go all the way with this.

I think that we could be good together.

I mean forever, Michelle.

What a fucking disaster.

You make me feel young again.

You make me feel alive again.

- I wanna be with you. - Bill, I gotta go.

Just let me see you. I just wanna see...

Michelle!

It's just you and me now, mutt.

Can I be the one?

I'd like to dedicate that tune to the late...

Dr. and Dr. Brinks,

Ma and Pa Brinks.

Angels.

Saints.

Con artists.

They fed starving children and cured disease,

repaired cleft palates.

But then...

up in smoke,

down in flames.

Crash and burn, lost at sea.

In a single-engine Cessna off the coast of Sri Lanka.

This one is on them.

They really dug your set.

If you can believe that.

Woo!

Ah!

You sound like a dog.

I can't figure it out.

Come on.

Come on. Why'd you stop?

I think I got something going here.

I think you had something better before.

Yeah? No, no, no, no, no, no, listen.

I thought it was an old song by somebody else, but it's not.

You hear that?

Sure.

Can you do this later?

Yeah, come on, man. Time and a place.

I'm figuring something out.

Play something else!

- Seriously, anything else. - Hey, let me ask you something.

Have either of you two ever been in a room

when someone is actually writing a song?

Like, witnessing the actual genesis of something,

the exact moment of creation?

Because that's what this is, so show some respect.

Shut the fuck up.

Fuck you.

We're only here because we felt sorry for you,

because you cried onstage.

I didn't cry.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

What a joke!

You have got a lot of nerve.

Pretty dumb.

"You've got a lot of nerve."

Taking your weed. Adios, Miggs.

Hey, Mom.

Hello, dear.

I wrote a new song. You wanna hear it?

I do. Yes.

But not right at this exact moment.

Okay.

Your toilet is running, son.

I know, Dad. I've been meaning to call a guy about that.

"A guy"?

You're the guy.

Get your pliers and fix the flapper chain. It'll take you two seconds.

I haven't been feeling very well lately.

Under the weather?

- Well, get some red light bulbs and a humidifier... - I tried that.

For Christ's sake, Andrew, he doesn't need light bulbs.

Honey, we're gonna give you a proper examination,

top to toes. Fix you right up.

Okay. Thanks, Mom.

Not right this second, though, pal.

Your mother and I gotta run.

You're leaving?

I'm afraid so. It's unavoidable.

I can't get you anything? You don't want a drink? Or there's some pizza left.

Thanks, dear. Maybe next time.

So it's, like, all of this?

Yeah, from here to Delaware.

Perfect.

Now, it's definitely not all this.

We can get county surveyors to stake out the lines.

But it's basically from that tall Joshua tree

next to the little one, if you can see that,

over to that big pile of rocks,

back to...

kind of where that cluster of bushes is.

Ah.

So, uh, what are we doing here?

You could develop this land if you wanted to.

I could definitely help with that.

No. I just wanted to see it again.

Uh...

Shopping center would probably do well.

All that shit is in the trash, huh?

Yeah, I tossed it. I'm sorry. I should have asked you if you wanted any of it.

No, I don't.

Good. It's all junk. It's better off in the driveway.

- Even the denture bath? - That was a tough one.

Where's Alex?

Gone.

Is she coming back?

She said she's moving in with a friend.

I'm really sorry.

It's better off.

What about the dog?

Uh, I don't think you're allowed to put a dog out with the trash.

Yeah, you, um, have to wait for recycling day.

I'll take the dog.

That's all right. I got her.

No.

I'll take her.

It feels right.

You're not taking the dog.

She was delivered to my doorstep. I took her in.

Wait a minute. The dog is spoken for.

No, I'll take her. I'm starting a new life with me and the dog.

You don't know how to care for a dog.

You haven't walked her, or bought her food, or even petted her fucking head.

She's my dog.

- I'm taking the dog. - Get your own dog!

Okay.

I don't wanna go back to Philly.

I wanna stay in Los Angeles.

Okay.

And keep the dog.

Okay.

And live with you.

I don't know.

It's the first time we've been under the same roof in 10 years, and...

It hasn't gone very well.

It hasn't.

But you're the only family I have left.

Yeah, no shit.

Let me see.

And you need a roommate.

I'm sorry,

but you do.

Huh? Come on.

- Don't be weird. - Come on.

Are you gonna be able to behave yourself,

keep your nose clean?

No.

Okay, great.

But if I feel like you're cramping my style...

...you're outta here.

Yeah, right.

Grab a box.

Help me get out of here.

Hey, you want me to write, like, "books" or "living room"?

Because people tend to write what's in the box,

but I like to write what room it's going in.

Well, I don't know where we'll be living,

so I don't know what room it's going into.

So "books"?