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♪ Everybody's in a hurry ♪
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00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,782
Ah, Christmas.
3
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ Shopping till
they're droppin' in the snow ♪
4
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,553
The most magical time
of the year.
5
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:22,888
♪ Kids are cryin',
dogs are barkin' ♪
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00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,524
A truly wondrous time,
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00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:30,028
a time when
all our wishes come true
8
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,766
in fairy-tale land.
9
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,601
But this isn't a fairy tale,
10
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,536
and Christmas
is a horseshit holiday
11
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,471
that makes us all feel like crap
12
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:42,208
and reminds us of what's wrong
in our lives.
13
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,844
That's why I'm here.
14
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,746
Welcome back, KLDA listeners.
15
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:52,117
I'm Emily Harris and you're
listening to "Ask Emily."
16
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,952
Oh, it looks like we have time
17
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:57,723
for one more sad Christmas
caller who needs my help.
18
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,426
Hi, you're on the line
with Emily.
19
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,895
What's your name,
and what's your problem?
20
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,530
Uh, hi.
21
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,199
My name is Greg and I have
sort of an awkward question.
22
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,567
Awkward.
23
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,036
Mm, that's my specialty.
Lay it on me.
24
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,105
My girlfriend's parents
have been calling me Craig
25
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,174
for two years, but it's Greg.
26
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,576
Do I correct them?
- Yes, you correct them!
27
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,412
Also, real quick,
if the holidays isn't the time
28
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,880
to get a little
passive-aggressive,
29
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,982
then I don't know when is.
30
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,051
Greg, here's what
you're gonna do.
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00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,486
You're going to go out
and get yourself
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00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:30,756
a custom Christmas sweater
with your actual name,
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00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,392
Greg, front and center.
34
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,093
Oh, my God, that's genius.
35
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,528
Can I write,
36
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,863
"No one likes your fruitcake"
on the back?
37
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,998
Fruitcake?
You talking about fraudcake?
38
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:42,901
Yeah, you write that too,
on the back in lights...
39
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,303
Out of my chair, Harris.
40
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,104
- Uh... one, test, test.
- Who's this?
41
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,140
Uh, that's the new intern,
42
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,675
and we're just
testing the audio.
43
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,943
It sounds great.
Yeah, whatever.
44
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,311
Listen.
45
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,079
Queue up that new music
I sent you this morning.
46
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,380
It totally sings.
47
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,383
Yeah, you got it.
You're on in two.
48
00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,519
♪ It's a celebration ♪
49
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,022
What's up, what's up,
what's up, New York City?
50
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,091
You're listening to KLDA 93.3,
51
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,061
your choice for music, news,
celeb gossip, and me,
52
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:12,064
Ken "Spicy Ay-yi-yi" Spicer!
53
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,799
Now we're going to go
straight to the phone lines
54
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,335
for your favorite Christmas
tradition, "Dear Santa."
55
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,203
I mean, it's my last week.
56
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,205
Okay?
I can do what I want.
57
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,309
Ugh, only four more days
of this song.
58
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,479
Well, there'll be
no avoiding tonight,
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00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,882
because tonight's the big night.
60
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,283
Yeah.
61
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,385
Em, you know
Ken is deciding tonight
62
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,487
on who's taking over his slot,
okay?
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00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,989
You got to strap
on your boss pants
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00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,725
and pitch him "Ask Emily"
tonight at the Christmas party.
65
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,693
- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
66
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:41,894
He's never gonna know that you
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00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,862
want to be a DJ
unless you tell him.
68
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,062
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
69
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,465
Okay.
So what's your plan?
70
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,500
Oh, I was hoping you would ask.
71
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,603
So my plan is to keep
all my wishes to myself,
72
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:54,306
so I'm never embarrassed
or disappointed.
73
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,574
See you tonight, coward.
74
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,975
And don't forget
to wear your sparkly dress.
75
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,479
I would never forget
to wear my sparkly dress.
76
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,062
No.
77
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:49,194
You gave the kid
a LEGO Tokyo Skyline.
78
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,495
Uh, yeah.
79
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,064
He asked for a scooter!
80
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,033
Okay, I did that kid a favor,
all right?
81
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,569
And if he had any taste,
he would know that.
82
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,171
Do you know
how many complaint letters
83
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,006
we've gotten about you?
84
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,842
You know how the big man
feels about being selfish.
85
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:07,646
He is not happy,
so here's what we're gonna do.
86
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,481
We are assigning you
to the Lost Souls Department.
87
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,483
No! Lost Souls?
88
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,518
Nah, nah, nah, I'm not good
with talking with people.
89
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,886
Mm, you don't say.
90
00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,388
No, I don't like
people like that, okay?
91
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,489
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- I can't... I can't do it.
92
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,024
So here's what you're gonna do.
93
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,959
You are going to work with,
listen to,
94
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,128
and actually help
your assigned human,
95
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,731
and learn not to be so selfish.
96
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,034
Or you are getting reassigned
to work for...
97
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,841
The Tooth Fairy.
98
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:43,515
♪ I want to be beautiful ♪
99
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,317
♪ Want to be beautiful ♪
100
00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:46,952
Okay, okay!
101
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,755
♪ I want to be
so much more ♪
102
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:53,425
Not bad, Harris.
103
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,460
Boris!
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00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,129
You think all the boys
at the Christmas party
105
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,032
is gonna like my outfit?
106
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,768
Well, KLDA listeners,
107
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,237
looks like we're gonna need
a little liquid courage
108
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,940
to do anything cool tonight!
109
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,445
A little more eggnog
for your girl.
110
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,050
Wow.
Completely out.
111
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,785
It's not even worth
drinking that.
112
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,219
Okay, fine.
113
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:24,056
Adult booze it is.
114
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,024
You're grown anyway, girl.
115
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,927
Get you a little.
116
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,364
Mm, mm, mm.
117
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,399
Ugh!
There it goes.
118
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,635
There it is.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
119
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,870
Okay.
Cool Emily.
120
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,972
Cool Emily is coming
to the party.
121
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,908
Okay, okay.
122
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,277
You look him right in the eye
with all of your confidence
123
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,980
and you say... you say, um...
124
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,483
Ken, baby.
125
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,351
Listen up, okay?
126
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,720
I want to take over for you
127
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,457
with my groundbreaking
advice show, "Ask Emily."
128
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,625
The ratings
are gonna spike so high,
129
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,461
you'll think
you're on cocaine again,
130
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,262
but in a good way.
131
00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,198
Come on, baby, Ken!
132
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,701
You and I both know
I'm too good to be producing
133
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,336
somebody else's show.
134
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,371
What do you say?
135
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,740
The wink is what's
gonna sell it.
136
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,508
It's the... you're
gonna get your show.
137
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,776
You're gonna get your show,
138
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,112
and Christmas is not
gonna suck for once.
139
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,214
Let's go!
140
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,316
Ugh, Mom.
141
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,385
Why is she always calling me?
142
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,556
It's finally happened!
143
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,159
We're finalists
for the annual Glen Ridge
144
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,628
Christmas Tree
Decorating Contest!
145
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,997
Linda's gonna eat my dust!
146
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:41,066
I just need you
to come for the party.
147
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,335
Oh, absolutely not.
That's never gonna happen.
148
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,036
Definitely working all day.
149
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,538
I won't take no for an answer.
150
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,973
See you tomorrow.
151
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,708
No, you won't!
152
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,943
And don't bring
that hideous silver thing
153
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,613
that makes you look
like a burrito.
154
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,949
♪ Yeah,
I want to be beautiful ♪
155
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,851
Can't wait to put her in a home.
156
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,320
♪ I want to be beautiful ♪
157
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,289
- ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
158
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,557
- ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
159
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,825
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
160
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,260
Hey!
161
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,961
I thought we were both
wearing our sparkly dresses.
162
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,763
I had a dry cleaning emergency.
163
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,899
But, a little sparkle.
164
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,034
There.
Now we look exactly alike.
165
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,537
- Exactly.
- We're like Tia and Tamera.
166
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,272
Ladies!
167
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,073
Nice to see you.
168
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,242
Shouldn't I be
wearing that crown?
169
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,877
Why is that, Janice?
170
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:29,748
Because you're the queen
of kissing Ken's ass?
171
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,951
It's obvious Ken's gonna
name me his replacement.
172
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,854
Okay, we all know how
you got your job, Janice.
173
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,723
You give your knee pads
a rest tonight?
174
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,860
Oh, good one.
175
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:46,731
You should know by now that
I get everything I want, okay?
176
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,400
Cute dress, though.
177
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,402
I like the zipper.
It's cute.
178
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,470
Ugh.
179
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,805
No, I know, I know, I know.
180
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,473
I'm gonna ask Ken.
I will.
181
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,108
I'm gonna ask him, but, like...
182
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,810
Look, for now let's just
concentrate on getting
183
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,078
really drunk, really fast.
184
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,379
Yes, oh, yes.
Right here.
185
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,414
- Focus on that.
- Hi.
186
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,616
Hey, hi.
187
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,485
- Ah!
- And to boobs.
188
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,791
Both: Ugh!
189
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,659
It's in the throat,
you know what I mean?
190
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,895
Just like, mm.
191
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:17,830
OMG.
192
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,164
It's the hot IT guy.
193
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,899
He's standing there
at the buffet.
194
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,467
Alone.
195
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,602
Hey!
196
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,004
Not for long.
Hold this.
197
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,844
Hey.
198
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,013
Emily!
Fun party.
199
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,816
Thank you, you look...
Oh, you didn't say...
200
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,685
- What?
- Nice sweater.
201
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,587
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
202
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:46,057
I... uh-oh, mistletoe.
203
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,325
Hmm.
204
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,662
You know, maybe we should...
205
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,898
Uh, do you... you don't
have a cat, right?
206
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,701
Because cats are allergic
to mistletoe, so...
207
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,803
Stay alert, stay alive.
208
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,806
Bye!
Bye.
209
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,791
Come on, Emily, spit it out.
Just say it.
210
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:22,461
You say something?
211
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,998
Ken, I was, um...
212
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,968
It's just that I know that...
213
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,004
Ken, what I want you to...
214
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,874
I've had to pee all night,
you know?
215
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,311
Good to know.
216
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,718
- Hey, what happened?
- I don't know.
217
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,053
I don't know what happened.
218
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,989
I just... like,
how do people do this?
219
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,692
Like, I know I'm supposed
to ask Ken for the on air job,
220
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,093
and I choked.
221
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,195
And I know I'm supposed
to try to make out
222
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,730
with the hottie
under the mistletoe,
223
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,298
and I choked at that too.
224
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,033
And it just feels like
all of my words get stuck
225
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,836
in my throat, and I can't...
226
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,404
Like, what do you do...
How do you do...
227
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,006
How does anyone do any of this?
228
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,975
I just feel like every single
thing I do is so wrong.
229
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,944
Hey, um, can I have
a nogtini, please?
230
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,647
Sorry.
That guy got the last of them.
231
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,516
Love nogtinis.
232
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,786
Gosh.
Cheers.
233
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:27,592
That butt-kissing Janice
got my nogtini?
234
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,728
She ain't getting my job.
Not at all.
235
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,062
I'm gonna go in, and I'm gonna...
236
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,731
I'm gonna demand it, and I'm...
237
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,266
I'm... here I go.
238
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:40,071
Emily, you're
still standing here.
239
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,439
My feet.
240
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,807
All right, let's do this.
241
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,876
Okay everyone, hey, come on.
242
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,145
Gather round, gather round.
Listen up.
243
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,382
So I was gonna do this
after the holiday,
244
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,417
but hell, it's Christmas.
245
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,787
Anyway, we figured out
who's gonna replace me.
246
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,188
It's gonna be Janice.
247
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,857
As you can imagine,
the choice was clear.
248
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,859
So get ready
249
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,695
for "The Dish with Janice"!
250
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:04,863
There you go!
251
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,164
Let's dance.
252
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,466
Here we go.
253
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,602
- Boo!
- Boo.
254
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,671
I already hate your show.
255
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:15,040
You're the only one not dancing.
256
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,708
Where's your Christmas spirit?
257
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,643
Santa, mind your business, okay?
258
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,613
Also, you have never brought me
anything I've ever asked for.
259
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,282
Well, why don't you put it
in a letter then, drunky?
260
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,586
Oh, you gonna go with him.
261
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,088
Real supportive.
262
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:32,557
Hey, can you, um...
Can you give me something
263
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,527
to make me forget tonight?
264
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,828
Try that.
265
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,563
Thank you, but keep them coming.
266
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,832
- You got it.
- Mm, mm.
267
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,033
Yeah.
268
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,937
- Pure elf's blood.
- Oh, mm.
269
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,673
Nah, you acting shy.
270
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,543
One and two, and, and...
271
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,013
And do the step.
272
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:59,117
Look at the babies.
273
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,952
Hi!
274
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,688
Merry Christmas!
275
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,090
What are you doing?
276
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,624
You guys writing your letters?
277
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,427
About your hopes,
and your dreams,
278
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,529
and your Christmas wishes, and...
279
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:14,599
Ooh, Santa's gonna
deliver my Christmas wishes.
280
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,568
Lies, children!
281
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,236
Ma'am, please.
282
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,238
Lies!
They need to know.
283
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,207
Santa doesn't
grant you anything.
284
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,476
He didn't grant me my job,
and I want to... look at her!
285
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,344
She got my job.
286
00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,313
How'd they get that up so quick?
287
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:32,650
And I didn't even get
to make out with the IT guy!
288
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,186
When's the last time
you make out with somebody, hm?
289
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:36,688
You can't be here without kids.
290
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,356
Oh!
291
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:40,692
All of a sudden,
I ain't got a kid.
292
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,193
I can't have a baby?
293
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,662
I have a child, and his name...
294
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:46,297
It's Timothy.
295
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,166
- You're drunk.
- You're drunk!
296
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,002
And his name is Thomas,
and he would
297
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,404
really appreciate...
So I'm gonna go ahead
298
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,173
and I'm gonna get...
Excuse me?
299
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:58,610
Sis, I will not.
That way!
300
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,446
Ma'am, no, ma'am!
301
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,882
Excuse me!
302
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,216
Rude.
303
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,986
Okay, you got your letter.
304
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,054
Thank you.
305
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,924
Merry Christmas.
306
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:18,063
For Timmy!
For Timmy!
307
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,375
Okay, Santa.
308
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:34,212
Let's see how magical
this mofo really is.
309
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,047
Dear
310
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:40,552
ugly asshole.
311
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,788
JK, JK.
312
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:47,892
Dear Santa Claus,
313
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,495
I know it's been a while
since we spoke
314
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,098
because I don't believe in you
because I'm an adult.
315
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:59,737
However, um,
you still be granting wishes?
316
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,172
'Cause here are mine.
317
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,807
All right,
come on, it's for kids.
318
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,110
Let's go, let's go.
319
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,984
Santa needs to grant me wishes!
320
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,953
Ma'am, no.
321
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,856
Ma'am, no!
It's for Timmy!
322
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,046
Hey, boss.
I got a good one for you.
323
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,882
Okay.
324
00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,851
Let's see.
325
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,420
Oh, nogtinis, yes.
326
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,423
Oh!
This is a toughie.
327
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:56,527
Her Christmas spirit
is in the basement.
328
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,896
I think I know
just the right elf
329
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,598
for this assignment.
330
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,904
This is the guy.
331
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,876
Boris, I did it.
332
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,246
I did it.
333
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,517
Okay.
334
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,019
All right.
335
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,688
Goodnight, Boris.
336
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:28,159
Maybe this Christmas
won't be so bad after all.
337
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,263
Get off of me.
338
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,146
Second best?
339
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:52,216
Hm, Oprah?
340
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,119
You are enough?
341
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,622
Emily, breakfast!
342
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,590
Get a move on.
We have a lot to talk about.
343
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,259
Is that my mom?
344
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,197
Wish number one, I want to be
actually close to my mom.
345
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,870
♪ Hark,
the herald angels... ♪
346
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,672
- Hey, beautiful.
- Hey, handsome.
347
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:21,713
♪ Peace on Earth
and mercy mild ♪
348
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,016
♪ God and sinners
reconciled ♪
349
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,719
♪ Joyful all ye nations rise ♪
350
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,887
Mom?
351
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:32,890
Dad?
Why am I here?
352
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,093
Oh!
Good afternoon.
353
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:38,062
I see someone overslept again.
354
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,897
Um...
355
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,232
How fast can you eat?
356
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,067
Because we have
a million things to do.
357
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,536
And what are you wearing?
Oh, ugh!
358
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,872
You're gonna go up
and change, right?
359
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,907
Okay, I'm sorry, when did...
360
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,411
In an hour, I told you!
361
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:59,484
The annual tree
decorating contest?
362
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,753
Big parties?
363
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,388
In three days?
364
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,057
We have to go and get
the fireplace garland!
365
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:09,494
Oh, oh!
Honestly, Emily!
366
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,797
Okay, I just meant,
when did I get here?
367
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,700
I didn't... did I
drive here last night?
368
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,235
Oh, I am going to jail.
369
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,137
I don't understand
your sense of humor.
370
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,572
Here, here.
Drink your nogtini, okay?
371
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:24,942
Wish number two, I want
all the nogtinis ever.
372
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:29,313
Go up, change into
something flattering, please!
373
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,149
And then let's scoot!
374
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,584
Oh, all right.
375
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,952
I don't know
what's happening here,
376
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,388
but I need to get back
to my show... oh, my God,
377
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,556
do I still have that job?
378
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,625
Show?
What is she talking about?
379
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,360
I have no idea.
380
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,861
The Rockettes or something?
381
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,029
Rockettes?
382
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,964
Oh, God, finally.
383
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,066
You know, he is so late.
384
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,835
He is 12 minutes late!
385
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,069
The liquor for the party!
386
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,405
Okay, what is happening here?
387
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,707
Hi, ma'am.
Where would you like these?
388
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,943
- You're late.
- I'm sorry about that.
389
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,411
We're a little backed up.
390
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,079
Christmas parties and all that.
Fine, over there.
391
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,116
Okay.
392
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,224
- Hi.
- Hi.
393
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,760
I don't live here.
394
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,596
Cool, I don't either.
395
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:22,066
Yep, here we go.
Ah!
396
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,802
Careful!
Those are my snowmen!
397
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,003
All right.
398
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,338
They're heirlooms!
399
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,173
Thank you for your business,
400
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,376
and sorry again for the delay.
401
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,615
Merry Christmas.
402
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,520
Okay.
403
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,721
Men!
404
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:47,391
Never trust a man
with a winning smile.
405
00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,627
Your daddy ain't got one.
406
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,096
Zoom, zoom.
407
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,331
Don't you start.
408
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,765
Oh, no, no, no, no.
409
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,435
Absolutely not.
I'm not dealing with this.
410
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,669
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm not going to look
411
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,638
at any fireplace garland
or anything.
412
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,473
I'm just gonna...
413
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,075
Merry Christmas, y'all.
414
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,943
- Emily.
- See you.
415
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,412
What?
She... oh!
416
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,248
How could she?
417
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,285
♪ Hark, the herald sing ♪
418
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,241
That's what I thought.
419
00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:47,377
What's up?
420
00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:48,612
No, because you've
been following me.
421
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,147
What's up?
What you want?
422
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,349
I'm trying to sort out
how much of a pain in my ass
423
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:54,218
you're gonna be.
424
00:19:55,353 --> 00:19:56,520
I'm sorry, who are you?
425
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:58,488
I'm an elf.
Wolf.
426
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,057
You're a wolf?
You're an elf?
427
00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:01,491
What is this?
What are you talking about?
428
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,859
No, no... oh.
I'm an elf.
429
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,761
My name is Wolf.
430
00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,263
Cool, Wolf elf.
431
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,831
Here's what I'm gonna do.
432
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,901
I'm going to mind my business
back to the city by myself.
433
00:20:10,902 --> 00:20:13,003
I suggest you stay here.
Okay, but look.
434
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,164
Your apartment's not gonna
be there when you get there.
435
00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,946
You're still drunk.
436
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,449
I'm still drunk.
I get what's happening here.
437
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:27,350
But still, your apartment's
not gon' be there, okay?
438
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,518
Because this isn't your life.
439
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,554
I mean, technically it is.
440
00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:32,723
But... this part is
always hard to explain.
441
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,226
Okay, look, you know that
letter you wrote to Santa?
442
00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:39,196
All your wishes are coming true.
443
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,665
Okay.
You're a crazy person.
444
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:45,102
That's clear.
There's a... hello?
445
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,771
Help?
446
00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:49,606
Damn it, nobody here no more?
447
00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:52,109
Elf guy talking to me.
You know what, go ahead.
448
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:53,543
See for yourself, all right?
449
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,612
But don't be surprised
by all the magical crap.
450
00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,214
Go on.
Okay.
451
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,316
I want some help
for you, brother.
452
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:01,418
Let me get in here.
453
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,653
Don't... you stay there.
Okay.
454
00:21:03,654 --> 00:21:05,590
Okay.
455
00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:21,738
"Woman crushed to death
456
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,208
in freak reindeer
leaping accident."
457
00:21:25,476 --> 00:21:30,413
Wish number three, I wish Janice
458
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:35,652
would take a flying leap.
459
00:21:35,653 --> 00:21:39,523
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
460
00:21:39,524 --> 00:21:41,925
Can I have this for free?
She's my best friend.
461
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,362
Thank you.
No.
462
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,932
Okay.
463
00:21:54,238 --> 00:21:55,338
That's it.
That's it.
464
00:21:55,339 --> 00:21:56,673
Oh, come on.
465
00:21:56,674 --> 00:21:58,975
This is not happening.
This is not happening.
466
00:21:58,976 --> 00:22:00,143
Come on!
467
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,545
Yo!
468
00:22:01,546 --> 00:22:03,648
You got the wrong
apartment, lady.
469
00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:06,249
Is this 5C?
470
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,418
- Yeah.
- And you live here?
471
00:22:08,419 --> 00:22:10,253
Yeah.
Can I help you?
472
00:22:10,254 --> 00:22:12,756
Cool, cool, no.
Don't panic.
473
00:22:12,757 --> 00:22:15,625
Hey, um, is there a cat in here?
474
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,862
His name is Boris,
and he's insightful and fluffy.
475
00:22:18,863 --> 00:22:20,831
- I'm vegan.
- Oh, but we don't eat him.
476
00:22:20,832 --> 00:22:23,768
He's for loving.
Boris? Okay.
477
00:22:26,671 --> 00:22:28,605
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
478
00:22:28,606 --> 00:22:29,973
What is happening?
479
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:31,508
This can't be real.
It's not real.
480
00:22:31,509 --> 00:22:33,176
Is it? Is it?
481
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,478
Wait, am I crazy?
482
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,048
Oh, God, did I kill someone?
483
00:22:38,049 --> 00:22:41,585
Oh, no, do I have to spend
Christmas with my mom?
484
00:22:41,586 --> 00:22:43,221
Did you say kill?
485
00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:49,759
You wanna tell me what
the hell is going on here?
486
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,595
It's what I was
trying to tell you, okay?
487
00:22:51,596 --> 00:22:54,264
You remember wandering
up in here last night?
488
00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:56,099
Dear Santa Claus.
489
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,401
Job stealing bitch!
490
00:22:58,402 --> 00:23:00,303
Lies, children!
491
00:23:00,304 --> 00:23:03,039
There's nothing
in this but lies!
492
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,374
Ma'am.
493
00:23:04,375 --> 00:23:07,611
I'm... I'm going, sir!
494
00:23:10,748 --> 00:23:12,716
Yes.
Okay?
495
00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:14,951
Well, your wish came true, okay?
496
00:23:14,952 --> 00:23:16,319
You got your wish.
497
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,754
Santa is into lessons this year.
498
00:23:17,755 --> 00:23:19,956
I know.
It's super annoying.
499
00:23:19,957 --> 00:23:22,125
You know how you want to be
close to your mom, right?
500
00:23:22,126 --> 00:23:23,493
Okay.
501
00:23:23,494 --> 00:23:25,829
Okay, well, now y'all
are close physically.
502
00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:29,633
- That's not what I meant!
- I know.
503
00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:31,568
Santa is a literal
son of a bitch.
504
00:23:31,569 --> 00:23:33,670
Actually, is this your boy here?
505
00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:35,505
Tell your boy to take it back.
506
00:23:35,506 --> 00:23:36,973
I'm out.
Okay, okay, okay.
507
00:23:36,974 --> 00:23:38,608
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen, listen, listen, okay?
508
00:23:38,609 --> 00:23:40,577
It's not that easy, all right?
509
00:23:40,578 --> 00:23:43,780
You got until 12:00 midnight
Christmas Eve.
510
00:23:43,781 --> 00:23:46,650
And you got to prove
to Santa that you've changed,
511
00:23:46,651 --> 00:23:48,184
that you've learned your lesson,
512
00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:49,920
that you got
your Christmas spirit back.
513
00:23:49,921 --> 00:23:51,354
And you're gonna
have to write him
514
00:23:51,355 --> 00:23:56,059
an amended letter about
your true Christmas wish.
515
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,328
Then you'll get
your old life back,
516
00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:00,864
and no one will remember
any of this except you.
517
00:24:00,865 --> 00:24:02,365
No.
518
00:24:02,366 --> 00:24:04,334
Fight me.
What if I don't do it?
519
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,602
- No?
- Yeah, no.
520
00:24:05,603 --> 00:24:07,137
Okay, well, if you don't do it,
521
00:24:07,138 --> 00:24:09,806
then you're gonna be in this
alternate universe forever.
522
00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:13,910
And your last wish
is gonna come true forever.
523
00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,812
My last wish.
Oh, God.
524
00:24:15,813 --> 00:24:17,681
I don't even want to know.
What is it?
525
00:24:17,682 --> 00:24:20,550
Oh, okay, okay.
Let's see what it is.
526
00:24:20,551 --> 00:24:22,752
You wished that the entire world
527
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,087
would turn into fruitcake.
528
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:26,656
I would never ask for that.
Not once.
529
00:24:26,657 --> 00:24:28,058
You right.
Yeah, okay.
530
00:24:28,059 --> 00:24:29,459
You didn't ask for that exactly.
531
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,660
This is what you said.
532
00:24:30,661 --> 00:24:33,096
You said, "Oh, I'm so hungry.
533
00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,799
"Oh, I could eat anything.
Oh, you know what?
534
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,368
"Deliver me all the fruitcake
in the world
535
00:24:38,369 --> 00:24:41,538
since you such
a magical mofo."
536
00:24:41,539 --> 00:24:44,207
- Damn.
- That's what you said.
537
00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:45,675
That sounds just like me.
538
00:24:45,676 --> 00:24:47,310
And I guess
I'm here to help you.
539
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:51,681
I just... good God, I truly
am the queen of bad decisions.
540
00:24:51,682 --> 00:24:55,618
♪ It's a celebration ♪
541
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,887
What is happening?
542
00:24:57,888 --> 00:25:00,924
Okay, well,
apparently you wished
543
00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:03,526
to be the queen
of a dance circle,
544
00:25:03,527 --> 00:25:05,528
and you just said
the secret word.
545
00:25:05,529 --> 00:25:07,897
What... no, no, no, no.
546
00:25:07,898 --> 00:25:10,300
You can go.
How do I get them to go?
547
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,902
You can go.
They're not gonna stop, okay?
548
00:25:12,903 --> 00:25:15,405
You gon' have to dance, okay?
549
00:25:15,406 --> 00:25:16,806
Or this gonna go on forever.
550
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,541
Look at her.
That's gonna happen.
551
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,776
That right there
with the ribbon.
552
00:25:19,777 --> 00:25:21,411
There.
Go on, dance.
553
00:25:21,412 --> 00:25:26,583
♪ Let me hear you say,
I'm ready for the holiday ♪
554
00:25:26,584 --> 00:25:28,451
That's what you chose?
You chose that?
555
00:25:28,452 --> 00:25:31,254
Okay, okay.
556
00:25:31,255 --> 00:25:33,623
I can't do this.
557
00:25:48,072 --> 00:25:50,141
Mm.
558
00:25:54,745 --> 00:25:57,848
Mm-hmm, how do I
still have that?
559
00:26:07,191 --> 00:26:09,959
Well, KLDA Nation,
560
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,829
looks like
we officially have a Christmas
561
00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:15,633
of all I didn't want.
562
00:26:23,574 --> 00:26:27,343
Mm.
Ah.
563
00:26:27,344 --> 00:26:29,813
Emily, breakfast!
564
00:26:29,814 --> 00:26:32,149
Okay.
565
00:26:33,784 --> 00:26:37,320
Ice sculptures, which you
and your dad can pick up.
566
00:26:37,321 --> 00:26:38,655
Okay.
567
00:26:38,656 --> 00:26:41,491
And also, of course,
our hair appointments.
568
00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:46,696
And we have to find you
a date for the party.
569
00:26:46,697 --> 00:26:50,301
No, I really don't think we do.
570
00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,938
Listen, it's only two days.
571
00:26:54,939 --> 00:26:59,008
Don't be nervous.
I know that we can do this.
572
00:26:59,009 --> 00:27:02,879
Which brings us to Goldie,
573
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,784
Silversmith, and Platinum.
574
00:27:07,785 --> 00:27:09,686
I'll handle her alone.
575
00:27:09,687 --> 00:27:13,356
Oh, she is going
to win that cover for us.
576
00:27:13,357 --> 00:27:16,593
It's her year.
I know she can do it.
577
00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,995
If we find her the right tools,
578
00:27:18,996 --> 00:27:21,865
she can do anything she wants.
579
00:27:21,866 --> 00:27:24,300
Right, the tree can
do whatever she wants.
580
00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,969
Me, not so much.
581
00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:28,671
Hey, how do I look?
582
00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:31,141
Like you are
avoiding helping me.
583
00:27:31,142 --> 00:27:33,076
Oh, oh, oh, Em.
584
00:27:33,077 --> 00:27:34,577
There was
this sort of love letter
585
00:27:34,578 --> 00:27:36,079
waiting for you at the door.
586
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,348
Okay.
Well, ladies, have fun.
587
00:27:38,349 --> 00:27:40,183
Fellas are waiting.
I got to go.
588
00:27:40,184 --> 00:27:43,086
I love you, baby.
Get out of here!
589
00:27:43,087 --> 00:27:45,355
He's always running off.
Oh!
590
00:27:45,356 --> 00:27:47,590
It's from Chet Charles.
No frigging way.
591
00:27:47,591 --> 00:27:51,494
- Chet Charles.
- Oh.
592
00:27:51,495 --> 00:27:53,663
Okay.
593
00:27:53,664 --> 00:27:55,965
"Please go out with me.
594
00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:59,569
"Until then,
here's a lock of my hair
595
00:27:59,570 --> 00:28:01,704
"to keep my essence near.
596
00:28:01,705 --> 00:28:03,640
Love you forever."
597
00:28:03,641 --> 00:28:06,409
Oh, my God.
This is so gross.
598
00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:07,744
Wish number five,
599
00:28:07,745 --> 00:28:09,646
I want the hottest guy
I can think of
600
00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:12,048
to be completely crazed-balls
obsessed with me.
601
00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,317
High school god Chet Charles.
602
00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:18,188
Oh, Chet Charles.
He's a sweetheart.
603
00:28:18,189 --> 00:28:21,057
Didn't you have a big crush
on him in high school?
604
00:28:21,058 --> 00:28:22,892
Mom, that was
like a million years ago.
605
00:28:22,893 --> 00:28:24,928
But it looks like
he's a serial killer now.
606
00:28:24,929 --> 00:28:27,463
No, no.
You should know he's a dentist.
607
00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:31,234
I mean, he has
his posters all over town.
608
00:28:31,235 --> 00:28:35,438
I am just so surprised
that he sent this to you.
609
00:28:35,439 --> 00:28:39,976
Now you can cross off
finding a date as one
610
00:28:39,977 --> 00:28:41,945
of the tasks on your list.
611
00:28:41,946 --> 00:28:43,213
You know something?
612
00:28:43,214 --> 00:28:45,348
You have been moving
like molasses.
613
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,984
You act like you want
to be late for work.
614
00:28:47,985 --> 00:28:49,986
- Work?
- Work!
615
00:28:49,987 --> 00:28:52,255
Come on, let's get out of here.
616
00:28:52,256 --> 00:28:54,023
I didn't realize
I had a job here.
617
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,259
Well, you do.
618
00:28:57,678 --> 00:28:59,045
Come on, hurry up.
Oh!
619
00:28:59,046 --> 00:29:01,281
The ice angels
are back in stock again.
620
00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:04,451
Now, remember to pick up the
frozen pigs in a blanket, okay?
621
00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:06,620
After you get off of work.
And brush your hair.
622
00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:08,155
Ah!
623
00:29:08,156 --> 00:29:10,257
Look, your boyfriend,
Chet the dentist!
624
00:29:10,258 --> 00:29:12,325
Oh, I gotta go.
625
00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:13,627
I gotta get those angels.
626
00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:15,729
Oh, come on, they're over there.
627
00:29:15,730 --> 00:29:18,032
That's not my man.
628
00:29:19,567 --> 00:29:22,068
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
629
00:29:22,069 --> 00:29:24,638
Okay, well,
this is where you work.
630
00:29:24,639 --> 00:29:26,072
Boss Ass Bitchmas?
631
00:29:26,073 --> 00:29:29,843
Wish number six,
I want to be a boss ass bitch!
632
00:29:29,844 --> 00:29:30,877
- Mm-hmm.
- Ornament?
633
00:29:30,878 --> 00:29:32,679
I... oh, no!
634
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,880
- Huh, what?
- Hide me!
635
00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:35,081
Okay, look.
636
00:29:35,082 --> 00:29:36,449
I don't really do hugs,
you know.
637
00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:38,118
This feel weird, so...
638
00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:40,120
No, no, no, no, no.
639
00:29:40,121 --> 00:29:42,722
You see that girl over there
with the blonde hair
640
00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:44,758
and the angry eyes?
641
00:29:44,759 --> 00:29:46,593
Ginger George.
642
00:29:46,594 --> 00:29:49,329
She used to be my best friend,
up until freshman year,
643
00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:51,665
when she decided to ruin my life
644
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,466
at the Glen Ridge Christmas Fair
645
00:29:53,467 --> 00:29:55,970
in front of everybody.
What happened?
646
00:30:03,110 --> 00:30:04,811
I actually can't
go there right now.
647
00:30:04,812 --> 00:30:07,314
I can't.
It's... I can't.
648
00:30:07,315 --> 00:30:09,349
In a nutshell,
649
00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:12,519
she bullied me straight through
high school graduation.
650
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,721
It was awful.
651
00:30:14,722 --> 00:30:16,890
I mean,
I went from having friends
652
00:30:16,891 --> 00:30:19,192
to all of a sudden
being a social pariah.
653
00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:20,627
Like, you should
have heard the things
654
00:30:20,628 --> 00:30:22,028
that the kids said about me.
655
00:30:22,029 --> 00:30:23,764
And to my face!
656
00:30:24,732 --> 00:30:26,299
Oh, no, no, no.
Ahh!
657
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:27,601
BFF!
658
00:30:27,602 --> 00:30:30,170
Wish number seven, I want a BFF.
659
00:30:30,171 --> 00:30:32,038
You crazy biznatch!
660
00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,007
Why were you doing
that little hidey-hidey thing?
661
00:30:34,008 --> 00:30:36,543
And um... oh, my God, who is this?
662
00:30:36,544 --> 00:30:38,645
Is it your boyfriend?
663
00:30:38,646 --> 00:30:40,780
No, this is my elf.
664
00:30:40,781 --> 00:30:42,549
Okay.
665
00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:45,018
Why you being so weird,
you weirdo?
666
00:30:45,019 --> 00:30:46,553
Oh, my God.
667
00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:48,888
So I finished the
Bitches Love Santa ornaments,
668
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:52,893
and I designed
this super cute new one.
669
00:30:55,997 --> 00:30:58,431
"Don't be silent
tonight, bae."
670
00:30:58,432 --> 00:31:00,100
It's even cuter
when other people say it.
671
00:31:00,101 --> 00:31:04,070
So are you ready to get to work?
672
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,672
No, I need a minute.
673
00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:09,309
Okay, BRB then because
I'm going to grab coffee,
674
00:31:09,310 --> 00:31:13,147
unless maybe I could
grab something else?
675
00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:18,685
Okay.
676
00:31:18,686 --> 00:31:20,887
Excuse me, what was that?
677
00:31:20,888 --> 00:31:22,656
Yeah, I figured
this would happen.
678
00:31:22,657 --> 00:31:24,224
It's my elfmones.
679
00:31:24,225 --> 00:31:27,260
Yeah, elf pheromones
are like catnip to humans.
680
00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:28,828
Sad.
681
00:31:28,829 --> 00:31:30,864
Huh?
682
00:31:30,865 --> 00:31:32,799
Can I get you something, Daddy?
683
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,769
No, no!
Focus.
684
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:38,638
Okay, what I'm getting here
685
00:31:38,639 --> 00:31:42,609
is that I work here
686
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:47,448
with my bully, who is my BFF?
687
00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:53,486
I'm gonna leave
in a huff so huffy.
688
00:31:53,487 --> 00:31:55,456
- Okay.
- Get ready for it.
689
00:31:56,957 --> 00:32:00,994
I'm writing Santa now!
690
00:32:00,995 --> 00:32:06,599
Dear Santa,
my true wish is to go back
691
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,470
to my real life.
692
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,940
- That's not gonna work.
- There, yeah.
693
00:32:18,012 --> 00:32:22,148
No, oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
694
00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:25,418
Santa, you got me.
You will not beat me!
695
00:32:25,419 --> 00:32:27,954
I think the real problem was
that I wasn't specific enough,
696
00:32:27,955 --> 00:32:29,956
and I totally under...
I apologize.
697
00:32:29,957 --> 00:32:34,160
Dear Santa, sorry
I wasn't specific enough.
698
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:38,998
I would like
to live at 5C again.
699
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:42,369
- No, it's...
- Chill, I got this.
700
00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:44,638
- Okay, okay.
- 5C.
701
00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:48,975
Pass the tofu nuggets, roomie.
702
00:32:48,976 --> 00:32:50,977
Tofu?
703
00:32:50,978 --> 00:32:52,645
- Hey, welcome back!
- I got it.
704
00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:54,481
I figured it out.
You smell like tofurkey.
705
00:32:54,482 --> 00:32:55,782
I know, I know.
706
00:32:55,783 --> 00:32:57,584
I just need
to be real specific with him,
707
00:32:57,585 --> 00:32:59,052
or I need to... I got it.
708
00:32:59,053 --> 00:33:03,723
Dear Santa, I want everyone
709
00:33:03,724 --> 00:33:06,526
at my job to see the real me.
710
00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:07,961
Real you... no!
711
00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:10,063
- I have to beat Santa's ass.
- Santa is literal!
712
00:33:10,064 --> 00:33:11,064
- I will beat...
- Santa is literal!
713
00:33:11,065 --> 00:33:12,633
Can Santa whoop my ass?
714
00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:18,238
Why are you naked,
you crazy bitch?
715
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:22,475
- Lookin' good, Emily!
- Is this casual Friday?
716
00:33:22,476 --> 00:33:24,411
Okay.
717
00:33:24,412 --> 00:33:27,847
Dear Santa,
you think this is a game?
718
00:33:27,848 --> 00:33:29,716
Huh, Santa?
Okay.
719
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:32,519
- Erase everything...
- No, don't write that!
720
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,287
And start... shh!
721
00:33:34,288 --> 00:33:35,422
- Don't write it.
- Huh? Huh?
722
00:33:35,423 --> 00:33:37,624
- Don't do that.
- Huh! Huh!
723
00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:42,195
Erase everything
and start over, ha!
724
00:33:42,196 --> 00:33:43,930
Ooh!
You don't wanna say start over.
725
00:33:43,931 --> 00:33:47,101
No, we gon' start...
♪ Over ♪
726
00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:57,244
Wolf?
727
00:33:59,647 --> 00:34:02,082
Wolf?
728
00:34:04,452 --> 00:34:07,655
Oh, my God, fruitcake feet.
729
00:34:10,691 --> 00:34:12,893
Oh, no, no, no!
730
00:34:15,496 --> 00:34:18,298
Lost Souls Department,
Emergency Services.
731
00:34:18,299 --> 00:34:19,899
Uh, yeah, man,
I'ma need a reset.
732
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,067
She reached Snowpocalypse.
733
00:34:21,068 --> 00:34:23,169
Yikes, Tooth Fairy.
734
00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,771
Sure you wanna reset now?
735
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:27,307
I mean, how bad
can the Tooth Fairy be?
736
00:34:27,308 --> 00:34:31,177
You seen her teeth, man?
Ugh.
737
00:34:31,178 --> 00:34:34,648
Ah! Ah, help me!
738
00:34:40,154 --> 00:34:43,056
Wolf!
Yo, hey.
739
00:34:43,057 --> 00:34:45,058
Are you done?
Ah!
740
00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:46,759
I'm done.
Okay.
741
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:51,264
Well, now what,
oh, magical elfin guide?
742
00:34:51,265 --> 00:34:54,634
Okay, well, maybe neither
is your best life, okay?
743
00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,769
Not the old one
and not the new one.
744
00:34:56,770 --> 00:34:58,505
Are you trying
to say something helpful?
745
00:34:58,506 --> 00:35:00,673
Be careful.
Okay, okay, look.
746
00:35:00,674 --> 00:35:02,108
I'm sorry you got stuck
with a shitty guide.
747
00:35:02,109 --> 00:35:03,510
- I did.
- All right.
748
00:35:03,511 --> 00:35:05,478
This is not my area
of expertise.
749
00:35:05,479 --> 00:35:08,114
But maybe it's time
we lean into this whole thing.
750
00:35:08,115 --> 00:35:10,149
Okay?
For the both of us.
751
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,818
Because I know you don't care.
I don't.
752
00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:13,286
But if this doesn't
work out for you,
753
00:35:13,287 --> 00:35:15,255
I'ma have to work
for the Tooth Fairy.
754
00:35:15,256 --> 00:35:17,223
Okay, cool.
755
00:35:17,224 --> 00:35:19,325
So now the Tooth Fairy is real.
756
00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:21,227
Look, assuming
that I believe you,
757
00:35:21,228 --> 00:35:23,263
that doesn't even
sound that bad.
758
00:35:23,264 --> 00:35:24,998
Not that bad?
Okay.
759
00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,299
All right.
You know what?
760
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,736
Look at this.
761
00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:34,574
Oh, we need to figure
this out together.
762
00:35:34,575 --> 00:35:36,577
One sec.
763
00:35:41,582 --> 00:35:43,750
Not you dressed
like you in Silk Sonic.
764
00:35:43,751 --> 00:35:46,453
How you do that?
I'm a magical elf, bitch!
765
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:49,489
All right, well,
now I look like garbage,
766
00:35:49,490 --> 00:35:50,823
so I'm finna go change.
767
00:35:50,824 --> 00:35:53,394
Do not look
at my yearbooks, okay?
768
00:35:54,862 --> 00:35:57,264
Hmm, what's a yearbook?
769
00:36:02,102 --> 00:36:04,470
The disrespect.
770
00:36:04,471 --> 00:36:06,639
Okay, you were not kidding
about those pheromones, huh?
771
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,741
Yeah.
That's why we don't do karaoke.
772
00:36:08,742 --> 00:36:11,244
It's too risky.
Yeah, say less.
773
00:36:11,245 --> 00:36:12,845
That'd be too dangerous for you.
774
00:36:12,846 --> 00:36:14,147
Hey!
775
00:36:14,148 --> 00:36:15,281
It's the gal
from the party house
776
00:36:15,282 --> 00:36:17,717
with the punctual mom.
777
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:20,653
It's the late delivery guy
with the booze.
778
00:36:20,654 --> 00:36:21,721
Yeah.
779
00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:26,025
Wyatt Snowmyn.
Wyatt Snowman?
780
00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:27,760
No, close, "myn."
781
00:36:27,761 --> 00:36:29,662
- Are you serious right now?
- Snowmyn.
782
00:36:29,663 --> 00:36:31,331
Oh, I understand
what's happening.
783
00:36:31,332 --> 00:36:33,099
This is... it's very clear.
784
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,134
You're a snowman
who's temporarily been
785
00:36:35,135 --> 00:36:36,436
turned into a human being.
786
00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:38,771
This is really hilarious.
This is very clever.
787
00:36:38,772 --> 00:36:41,240
This is why he was so cute
and smiley the other day.
788
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,209
You think...
You thought I was cute?
789
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,277
Actually, I'm sorry.
790
00:36:44,278 --> 00:36:45,812
I don't have time for questions.
791
00:36:45,813 --> 00:36:47,313
We're actually in the middle
of something right now, so...
792
00:36:47,314 --> 00:36:49,349
Can I just learn whatever
the lesson is tomorrow?
793
00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:51,217
- I'm sorry, what?
- Babe!
794
00:36:51,218 --> 00:36:53,720
I'm very busy.
795
00:36:53,721 --> 00:36:56,522
Please just go find your magic
hat or whatever, you know.
796
00:36:56,523 --> 00:36:58,057
I'll catch up with you
tomorrow, all right?
797
00:36:58,058 --> 00:36:59,292
- Okay, I'm...
- Get!
798
00:36:59,293 --> 00:37:01,260
- Get?
- Snowmyn.
799
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,429
Y'all ain't on a schedule?
800
00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:06,199
He's not one of ours.
801
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,669
Oh, sh... hey, Snowmyn!
802
00:37:09,670 --> 00:37:11,738
Sh...
Maybe he melted.
803
00:37:11,739 --> 00:37:12,739
Shut up!
804
00:37:15,126 --> 00:37:17,661
Okay, a little corn dog truck.
805
00:37:17,662 --> 00:37:21,264
Mm-hmm, that's how
we do it in the 'burbs!
806
00:37:21,265 --> 00:37:22,933
Where do you hang out?
807
00:37:22,934 --> 00:37:25,502
Oh, reindeer stalls.
808
00:37:25,503 --> 00:37:26,870
All right, so let's lean in!
809
00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:30,307
Okay, let's start here.
So, uh, lover boy.
810
00:37:30,308 --> 00:37:32,042
Tell me about him.
Oh, come on.
811
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,476
That's so embarrassing.
812
00:37:33,477 --> 00:37:35,412
Chet Charles was like
the high school heartthrob.
813
00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:36,713
If I knew that this was real,
814
00:37:36,714 --> 00:37:38,415
I would have chosen
someone else.
815
00:37:38,416 --> 00:37:39,983
Let's go a little
bit deeper, okay?
816
00:37:39,984 --> 00:37:43,353
Let's start at the beginning.
Let's see.
817
00:37:43,354 --> 00:37:45,288
Tell me about this.
818
00:37:45,289 --> 00:37:47,357
Yeah, that's me and Mom in front
819
00:37:47,358 --> 00:37:50,126
of her three
precious Christmas trees.
820
00:37:50,127 --> 00:37:53,096
She was always more proud
of them than she was of me.
821
00:37:53,097 --> 00:37:54,864
Yeah.
Okay.
822
00:37:54,865 --> 00:37:56,934
Are you ready
to tell me about Ginger?
823
00:37:58,536 --> 00:38:01,238
Okay.
824
00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:07,711
Ginger and I were best friends.
We were inseparable, honestly.
825
00:38:07,712 --> 00:38:12,082
And when I started getting
a little chubby,
826
00:38:12,083 --> 00:38:16,987
I also got really insecure
because kids are assholes.
827
00:38:16,988 --> 00:38:20,624
And Ginger always had my back,
you know,
828
00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:24,828
until the Christmas she decided
to make my body a thing.
829
00:38:24,829 --> 00:38:28,498
I hate her already.
Continue.
830
00:38:28,499 --> 00:38:30,500
So we were rehearsing
831
00:38:30,501 --> 00:38:32,569
for the Christmas talent show
for weeks,
832
00:38:32,570 --> 00:38:36,840
and we were just
about to go on stage, and...
833
00:38:36,841 --> 00:38:39,542
Hey, Ginger!
Are you ready?
834
00:38:39,543 --> 00:38:41,544
I'm pretty nervous.
835
00:38:41,545 --> 00:38:44,047
So they don't think
836
00:38:44,048 --> 00:38:46,249
you should perform with us.
837
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:48,084
What?
838
00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:49,953
But why?
839
00:38:49,954 --> 00:38:53,724
Isn't it obvious, Gummy Tummy?
840
00:38:55,192 --> 00:38:56,960
Rude.
841
00:38:56,961 --> 00:38:59,463
I hate Christmas.
842
00:39:00,631 --> 00:39:03,600
Then she just dropped me.
843
00:39:03,601 --> 00:39:05,068
And you really
never danced again?
844
00:39:05,069 --> 00:39:09,373
No, not at school,
or really anywhere else.
845
00:39:10,608 --> 00:39:12,842
Yeah, when
your best friend dumps you
846
00:39:12,843 --> 00:39:15,111
real publicly like that,
you sort of learn
847
00:39:15,112 --> 00:39:20,183
that life is a little better
out of the limelight.
848
00:39:20,184 --> 00:39:22,519
Man, that makes me mad.
849
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,388
I just want to punch Dasher
right in his face.
850
00:39:25,389 --> 00:39:28,124
And I like Dasher.
He's my guy.
851
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:31,361
Thank you so much
for your emotional outburst.
852
00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:34,130
Also, you know, I uh...
853
00:39:34,131 --> 00:39:36,566
Even though I still don't know
how to get out of this mess,
854
00:39:36,567 --> 00:39:40,170
I actually do feel a lot better
855
00:39:40,171 --> 00:39:42,172
unloading all of that.
856
00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:44,408
So thank you.
857
00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:48,611
Look at you being
surprisingly helpful.
858
00:39:48,612 --> 00:39:50,747
Hey, I'm pretty wise.
859
00:39:50,748 --> 00:39:53,450
Great, I need that.
So what do I do now?
860
00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:56,019
Ooh, fudge if I know.
861
00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:59,423
Why are we opening these books?
862
00:40:01,692 --> 00:40:04,094
You really think Linda's
trying to sabotage you?
863
00:40:04,095 --> 00:40:05,895
Well, I don't know anymore.
864
00:40:05,896 --> 00:40:08,798
But I did see her peeping
through our window last night.
865
00:40:08,799 --> 00:40:10,934
And if you don't call
that sabotage,
866
00:40:10,935 --> 00:40:12,902
then I don't know.
867
00:40:12,903 --> 00:40:17,107
Um, I think you should
just talk to her.
868
00:40:17,108 --> 00:40:19,142
You like all the same stuff.
869
00:40:19,143 --> 00:40:21,478
Decorating, holidays,
870
00:40:21,479 --> 00:40:25,115
glitter, dressing nice,
871
00:40:25,116 --> 00:40:28,418
holidays, looking pretty.
872
00:40:28,419 --> 00:40:31,321
- You think she's pretty?
- Oh, heavens no.
873
00:40:31,322 --> 00:40:34,557
♪ I think
you're pretty, baby ♪
874
00:40:34,558 --> 00:40:36,326
♪ Sure look good to me ♪
Oh.
875
00:40:36,327 --> 00:40:38,361
Mm-hmm.
876
00:40:38,362 --> 00:40:40,697
Well, she never invites me
877
00:40:40,698 --> 00:40:44,534
to her ladies' nights, you know?
878
00:40:44,535 --> 00:40:48,004
Of course I wouldn't go,
but I mean,
879
00:40:48,005 --> 00:40:52,009
I think it still would
be nice to be asked, you know?
880
00:40:53,844 --> 00:40:55,378
I'm fun.
881
00:40:55,379 --> 00:40:57,480
Right, Stan?
882
00:40:57,481 --> 00:40:59,115
Of course you are.
883
00:40:59,116 --> 00:41:02,318
You are very... yeah.
884
00:41:02,319 --> 00:41:05,021
Sure you are, baby.
885
00:41:05,022 --> 00:41:08,324
I think there's one spot
over by your right armpit
886
00:41:08,325 --> 00:41:11,461
that is empty still.
887
00:41:11,462 --> 00:41:13,897
No, no, your right armpit.
The right.
888
00:41:13,898 --> 00:41:15,532
Baby, this is my right armpit.
889
00:41:15,533 --> 00:41:17,100
No more nogtinis for you.
890
00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:19,769
Okay.
891
00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:24,874
I just don't think we have
the right feature piece.
892
00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:28,178
We need a unique
conversation piece,
893
00:41:28,179 --> 00:41:29,546
you know, a showstopper.
894
00:41:29,547 --> 00:41:31,848
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
895
00:41:31,849 --> 00:41:34,450
Maybe I can find one
after the hair salon.
896
00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,653
Hey, you ready?
897
00:41:36,654 --> 00:41:38,888
Oh, hey, baby.
You ready to go?
898
00:41:38,889 --> 00:41:41,025
Okay, chop chop.
Let's do it.
899
00:41:50,067 --> 00:41:51,935
So, Sally.
900
00:41:51,936 --> 00:41:55,572
Thank you for squeezing us in
for this trial run.
901
00:41:55,573 --> 00:42:00,510
So tell me,
how high can you get our hair?
902
00:42:00,511 --> 00:42:02,378
All the way up, baby.
903
00:42:02,379 --> 00:42:05,515
Oh, you gave me a chill.
904
00:42:05,516 --> 00:42:08,852
You know, my daughter, Emily,
she's gonna be bringing
905
00:42:08,853 --> 00:42:11,354
a dentist to the party.
906
00:42:11,355 --> 00:42:13,389
- No.
- Oh, a dentist?
907
00:42:13,390 --> 00:42:14,958
- Yes!
- No, no, no, no, I'm not.
908
00:42:14,959 --> 00:42:17,727
I'm not gonna bring
the dentist to the party.
909
00:42:17,728 --> 00:42:21,364
Actually, that drinks
delivery guy was really cute,
910
00:42:21,365 --> 00:42:24,834
don't you think?
Uh...
911
00:42:24,835 --> 00:42:27,604
Mom, are you listening to me?
912
00:42:31,375 --> 00:42:35,111
So how is Linda
wearing her hair to the party?
913
00:42:35,112 --> 00:42:36,646
I'm not sure yet.
914
00:42:36,647 --> 00:42:38,882
She's gonna tell me
at rummy tonight.
915
00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,283
Oh.
916
00:42:40,284 --> 00:42:43,721
So you still playing rummy
with that basic bitch?
917
00:42:44,722 --> 00:42:47,023
Just a few of us.
918
00:42:47,024 --> 00:42:51,461
I don't even like rummy,
honestly, hm.
919
00:42:51,462 --> 00:42:54,164
Mm-hmm.
920
00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:59,702
Uh, we look like
giant Christmas gnomes.
921
00:42:59,703 --> 00:43:03,439
Did you... I mean,
you really like it this way?
922
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,677
The holiday look in Paris.
923
00:43:07,678 --> 00:43:11,447
We must do it.
924
00:43:11,448 --> 00:43:14,284
Mom, are you gonna be okay
if you don't win this thing?
925
00:43:14,285 --> 00:43:16,886
I just love this look.
926
00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:19,222
Huh?
You say something?
927
00:43:19,223 --> 00:43:20,957
I said you're gorgeous,
928
00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,759
and I'm so glad I look like you.
929
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,662
No, you look like your dad.
930
00:43:28,532 --> 00:43:31,668
Yeah, well, now the hair's
coming all the way down, baby.
931
00:43:31,669 --> 00:43:34,238
Much better.
932
00:43:36,006 --> 00:43:38,574
Dear KLDA listeners,
Emily Harris here,
933
00:43:38,575 --> 00:43:40,977
reporting live from
the nightmare before Christmas.
934
00:43:40,978 --> 00:43:44,314
Do I have what it takes
to find my Christmas spirit
935
00:43:44,315 --> 00:43:45,782
while working for my bully
936
00:43:45,783 --> 00:43:48,217
and also wearing
the world's worst hairstyle?
937
00:43:48,218 --> 00:43:49,987
Stay tuned!
938
00:43:52,189 --> 00:43:53,824
Let me just do that.
939
00:43:55,626 --> 00:43:58,062
Was that always a fruitcake?
940
00:44:01,532 --> 00:44:05,301
No, it used to be a bush.
941
00:44:05,302 --> 00:44:10,207
Ginger, I'm reporting
for work or whatever.
942
00:44:11,742 --> 00:44:15,511
Ugh, a note.
Okay.
943
00:44:15,512 --> 00:44:18,448
Hey, bitch!
Sorry, had to close today.
944
00:44:18,449 --> 00:44:20,817
Sexmergency.
945
00:44:20,818 --> 00:44:23,052
Blame your spicy little friend
946
00:44:23,053 --> 00:44:24,954
and his spicy cologne.
947
00:44:24,955 --> 00:44:27,256
Oh, girl, I'm pretty sure
elves are asexual.
948
00:44:27,257 --> 00:44:29,292
I'm not
with your friend, B-T-dubs.
949
00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:31,995
Not yet.
- Gross, come on, girl.
950
00:44:31,996 --> 00:44:33,730
Anyways, uh, take the day off.
951
00:44:33,731 --> 00:44:36,099
It's Xmas Eve Eve.
952
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,634
See you at darts tonight, bitch.
953
00:44:38,635 --> 00:44:41,204
Christmas Eve Eve already?
954
00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:43,206
God!
955
00:44:46,877 --> 00:44:50,813
"I wanna roast your chestnuts
this Christmas."
956
00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:54,150
I hate that that's so funny,
but it is.
957
00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:56,185
Ooh.
958
00:44:56,186 --> 00:44:58,388
Hey, handsome.
959
00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:01,057
Talk about a showstopper.
960
00:45:01,058 --> 00:45:06,062
♪ And no guy in the world
like mine ♪
961
00:45:06,063 --> 00:45:09,165
♪ No way, I miss
the nights by the fire ♪
962
00:45:09,166 --> 00:45:11,334
Hi.
963
00:45:11,335 --> 00:45:14,037
Just gonna...
964
00:45:14,038 --> 00:45:16,305
Aw.
965
00:45:16,306 --> 00:45:19,442
♪ And the city
keep on moving ♪
966
00:45:19,443 --> 00:45:21,944
♪ Last minute lovers
like the movie ♪
967
00:45:21,945 --> 00:45:26,215
♪ Gonna feel like Christmas,
baby ♪
968
00:45:27,584 --> 00:45:30,020
He's got the mouth.
969
00:45:32,682 --> 00:45:34,450
You playing rummy tonight too?
970
00:45:37,086 --> 00:45:38,520
No problem.
971
00:45:38,521 --> 00:45:40,255
Oh, I have plenty that I can do.
972
00:45:40,256 --> 00:45:43,325
Listen, I'll just see you
tomorrow at the party, okay?
973
00:45:43,326 --> 00:45:44,860
Okay.
974
00:45:44,861 --> 00:45:47,796
Oh!
I can't stand her.
975
00:45:47,797 --> 00:45:50,932
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, Emily.
976
00:45:50,933 --> 00:45:52,467
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
977
00:45:52,468 --> 00:45:55,771
I want you to help me
apply that gold leaf
978
00:45:55,772 --> 00:45:57,372
to the nutcracker dolls.
979
00:45:57,373 --> 00:45:58,874
Yeah, I got you.
980
00:45:58,875 --> 00:46:01,910
But actually, I wanted
to show you something.
981
00:46:01,911 --> 00:46:03,845
So I went down to the shop,
982
00:46:03,846 --> 00:46:07,115
and I got you a bunch of,
you know, really cute
983
00:46:07,116 --> 00:46:09,317
but traditional ornaments.
984
00:46:09,318 --> 00:46:11,787
But I think we both know
that what you really need
985
00:46:11,788 --> 00:46:14,056
is a showstopper.
Mmhmm.
986
00:46:14,057 --> 00:46:18,627
So I found something that
your girl Platinum over here
987
00:46:18,628 --> 00:46:20,062
would really appreciate.
988
00:46:20,063 --> 00:46:21,830
And I want to warn you,
989
00:46:21,831 --> 00:46:23,799
it can be seen as a little edgy,
990
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,401
but edgy is in right now.
991
00:46:26,402 --> 00:46:29,604
Trust me, so...
992
00:46:29,605 --> 00:46:31,306
Bam!
Isn't he cute?
993
00:46:31,307 --> 00:46:33,408
He's a little merman!
Yeah.
994
00:46:33,409 --> 00:46:35,577
I was thinking
that he would go great
995
00:46:35,578 --> 00:46:36,912
right in that middle space,
996
00:46:36,913 --> 00:46:39,415
right in the center of the tree.
997
00:46:42,418 --> 00:46:45,687
Why don't you put all of these
998
00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:48,458
on the tree
in your daddy's office?
999
00:46:50,193 --> 00:46:52,929
Right, of course,
the tree no one's gonna see.
1000
00:46:55,765 --> 00:46:59,601
Mom, do you think maybe
you want to try the ornament?
1001
00:46:59,602 --> 00:47:00,969
It's really, really important.
1002
00:47:00,970 --> 00:47:05,373
Baby, it's a bit edgy
for the judges.
1003
00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:07,876
Okay, but I'm asking you to try.
1004
00:47:07,877 --> 00:47:11,346
I'm trying.
I'm try... Santa!
1005
00:47:11,347 --> 00:47:13,582
If your magical ears
can hear me,
1006
00:47:13,583 --> 00:47:15,083
it's not working, so now what?
1007
00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:16,885
What?
What about Santa?
1008
00:47:16,886 --> 00:47:18,286
Nothing!
1009
00:47:18,287 --> 00:47:21,289
Did you ask that nice dentist
to the party?
1010
00:47:21,290 --> 00:47:23,492
Mom, I told you
I don't want to go with him.
1011
00:47:23,493 --> 00:47:26,561
He sent me a lock of his hair.
It's gross.
1012
00:47:26,562 --> 00:47:29,564
- Romantic.
- Seriously?
1013
00:47:29,565 --> 00:47:31,566
Baby, he's handsome.
1014
00:47:31,567 --> 00:47:34,136
He likes you.
He's successful.
1015
00:47:34,137 --> 00:47:37,038
You really don't care
what I want, do you?
1016
00:47:37,039 --> 00:47:40,342
I don't want
to see you to end up alone.
1017
00:47:40,343 --> 00:47:42,779
Now, why would I end up alone?
1018
00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:45,847
Because I'm not perfect?
1019
00:47:45,848 --> 00:47:48,250
Because I'm not you?
1020
00:47:48,251 --> 00:47:50,852
Is it how I act or how I look?
1021
00:47:50,853 --> 00:47:52,187
No, I don't know.
1022
00:47:52,188 --> 00:47:53,755
Oh, you don't want
to talk about it,
1023
00:47:53,756 --> 00:47:55,624
but I'm just supposed to settle
for someone I don't like
1024
00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:57,659
because girls that act
like me and look like me
1025
00:47:57,660 --> 00:48:00,662
are supposed to settle?
No, not necessarily.
1026
00:48:00,663 --> 00:48:03,064
Jesus, Mom, you...
1027
00:48:03,065 --> 00:48:06,535
Baby, I love you.
1028
00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,003
I love you.
1029
00:48:08,004 --> 00:48:09,604
Just, the world is...
1030
00:48:09,605 --> 00:48:12,707
Mom, I know how the world is,
but you could be on my side.
1031
00:48:12,708 --> 00:48:14,075
I am on your side!
1032
00:48:14,076 --> 00:48:15,377
You think you're on my side
1033
00:48:15,378 --> 00:48:18,147
when you won't even
hang up an ornament?
1034
00:48:19,782 --> 00:48:21,783
This is exactly
why I don't talk to you.
1035
00:48:21,784 --> 00:48:25,620
It is... there's no point.
1036
00:48:25,621 --> 00:48:28,657
By the way, you probably
wouldn't be alone all the time
1037
00:48:28,658 --> 00:48:31,593
if you didn't expect everybody
and everything around you
1038
00:48:31,594 --> 00:48:33,028
to be perfect all the time!
1039
00:48:33,029 --> 00:48:35,096
Whatever it is
that you think is perfect.
1040
00:48:35,097 --> 00:48:37,732
Oh, young lady,
you watch your tone!
1041
00:48:37,733 --> 00:48:39,701
You watch your... ooh!
1042
00:48:39,702 --> 00:48:42,037
♪ Have yourself ♪
1043
00:48:42,038 --> 00:48:46,575
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
1044
00:48:48,177 --> 00:48:51,346
♪ Let your heart be light ♪
1045
00:48:51,347 --> 00:48:55,751
This might go...
Okay, that means ace, so...
1046
00:48:57,153 --> 00:48:59,921
♪ From now on ♪
1047
00:48:59,922 --> 00:49:03,158
♪ Our troubles
will be out... ♪
1048
00:49:03,159 --> 00:49:05,860
Hey, gang, welcome to the annual
1049
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:08,363
Bullseyes for Blitzen contest.
1050
00:49:08,364 --> 00:49:10,765
The first team
to hit ten bullseyes
1051
00:49:10,766 --> 00:49:14,637
gets Blitzened on the house.
1052
00:49:16,939 --> 00:49:20,342
- Oh, my God, it's the snowman.
- What?
1053
00:49:20,343 --> 00:49:23,912
The bartender's
last name is Snowmyn.
1054
00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:27,716
Oh, he is cute.
You like him?
1055
00:49:27,717 --> 00:49:29,150
You should go chat him up.
1056
00:49:29,151 --> 00:49:33,255
Maybe, um, nibble his carrots
if you know what I mean.
1057
00:49:33,256 --> 00:49:35,257
I don't.
Can you explain it in detail?
1058
00:49:35,258 --> 00:49:37,025
- You know, like his...
- Bullseye Candy?
1059
00:49:37,026 --> 00:49:38,860
Bullseye Candy?
1060
00:49:38,861 --> 00:49:41,029
Yeah.
1061
00:49:41,030 --> 00:49:43,498
Bullseye Candy.
That's us.
1062
00:49:43,499 --> 00:49:45,700
Yo, we got this.
1063
00:49:45,701 --> 00:49:47,636
Boom!
1064
00:49:47,637 --> 00:49:49,271
Both: ♪ Bullseye Candy ♪
1065
00:49:49,272 --> 00:49:51,239
♪ Bullseye Candy ♪
1066
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,009
♪ Bullseye Candy,
get out of the way ♪
1067
00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:55,777
Excuse us!
1068
00:49:55,778 --> 00:49:58,480
Excuse us!
Move out of the way.
1069
00:49:58,481 --> 00:49:59,448
Okay.
1070
00:49:59,449 --> 00:50:01,050
One, two, three.
1071
00:50:02,985 --> 00:50:05,086
Oh, well.
1072
00:50:05,087 --> 00:50:07,289
We'll get 'em next year.
1073
00:50:07,290 --> 00:50:09,024
I'm sorry,
that was embarrassing.
1074
00:50:09,025 --> 00:50:11,159
I'm a little rusty.
1075
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,560
Yeah, that was weird.
1076
00:50:12,561 --> 00:50:14,329
Normally, you're like
a total bullseye bitch.
1077
00:50:14,330 --> 00:50:16,364
- I am?
- Yeah!
1078
00:50:16,365 --> 00:50:17,866
Cool.
1079
00:50:17,867 --> 00:50:19,134
I think I'm gonna go for it
1080
00:50:19,135 --> 00:50:22,103
with your, uh, cinnamon friend.
1081
00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,506
If you don't mind.
No, no, no, no.
1082
00:50:24,507 --> 00:50:26,007
I definitely don't mind.
1083
00:50:26,008 --> 00:50:28,810
Um, full disclosure,
he might not be into you.
1084
00:50:28,811 --> 00:50:30,145
But you know.
1085
00:50:30,146 --> 00:50:31,446
Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool.
1086
00:50:31,447 --> 00:50:33,081
Yeah, I'm definitely
gonna make my move then.
1087
00:50:33,082 --> 00:50:35,450
- You're not scared?
- No!
1088
00:50:35,451 --> 00:50:38,620
I mean, I've made a fool
of myself like a million times.
1089
00:50:38,621 --> 00:50:39,821
I mean, you know.
1090
00:50:39,822 --> 00:50:42,624
You've always
been really ballsy.
1091
00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,326
I've always envied
that about you.
1092
00:50:44,327 --> 00:50:45,593
Thank you very much.
1093
00:50:45,594 --> 00:50:48,063
I mean, I'd rather just know.
You know?
1094
00:50:48,064 --> 00:50:49,931
You got to go after
what you want.
1095
00:50:49,932 --> 00:50:51,599
Be bold.
1096
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,369
Like, uh...
1097
00:51:00,643 --> 00:51:03,611
Look, it's crazy snowman girl.
1098
00:51:03,612 --> 00:51:05,413
Oh.
1099
00:51:05,414 --> 00:51:07,582
You remember that.
Mmhmm.
1100
00:51:07,583 --> 00:51:09,084
Hi.
1101
00:51:09,085 --> 00:51:11,419
I'm sorry about that.
1102
00:51:11,420 --> 00:51:13,455
I thought you were someone else,
1103
00:51:13,456 --> 00:51:15,824
but I was wrong.
1104
00:51:15,825 --> 00:51:17,693
So who are you?
1105
00:51:19,095 --> 00:51:20,695
I'm Wyatt Snowmyn.
1106
00:51:20,696 --> 00:51:25,266
Age 31, Scorpio,
Leo moon rising, obviously.
1107
00:51:25,267 --> 00:51:27,902
Originally of Glen Ridge,
New Jersey.
1108
00:51:27,903 --> 00:51:30,538
Go Panthers.
1109
00:51:30,539 --> 00:51:32,273
Currently residing in Manhattan.
1110
00:51:32,274 --> 00:51:35,276
Part owner of a few bars,
including this little gem
1111
00:51:35,277 --> 00:51:36,845
in the old hometown.
1112
00:51:36,846 --> 00:51:39,681
Okay, so I stopped listening
after you said Scorpio
1113
00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:41,783
because I know
that Scorpios are kinky.
1114
00:51:41,784 --> 00:51:43,385
- Oh, yeah?
- And uh...
1115
00:51:43,386 --> 00:51:44,953
Sting.
1116
00:51:44,954 --> 00:51:46,554
I'm kidding.
1117
00:51:46,555 --> 00:51:49,124
I'm... it's nice
to meet you, Wyatt.
1118
00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,959
I'm Emily.
1119
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,495
I don't think
I gave you my name.
1120
00:51:53,496 --> 00:51:56,698
No, you were definitely
too busy yelling at me.
1121
00:51:56,699 --> 00:52:00,201
- Oh, you didn't like that?
- Oh, well, eh.
1122
00:52:00,202 --> 00:52:02,705
Hmm.
Because you're welcome.
1123
00:52:04,607 --> 00:52:05,974
Scorpios love that.
1124
00:52:05,975 --> 00:52:07,041
Yeah, I can take a little abuse.
1125
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,243
Yeah.
1126
00:52:08,244 --> 00:52:11,346
Okay, you know what?
Here.
1127
00:52:11,347 --> 00:52:15,684
Emily, for you and your friend.
1128
00:52:17,319 --> 00:52:18,920
Boom.
Okay.
1129
00:52:18,921 --> 00:52:20,789
- Yeah.
- For free?
1130
00:52:20,790 --> 00:52:21,757
- Yes.
- Okay.
1131
00:52:21,758 --> 00:52:23,425
No charge.
1132
00:52:23,426 --> 00:52:26,494
Your tip is that you get
to watch me walk away.
1133
00:52:26,495 --> 00:52:27,996
Oof!
1134
00:52:27,997 --> 00:52:30,165
This is better than 20%.
1135
00:52:30,166 --> 00:52:32,367
Whew!
Check this out.
1136
00:52:32,368 --> 00:52:33,702
Mm, thank you.
1137
00:52:36,872 --> 00:52:38,340
Okay, so I'll get a glass
of this Sancerre to start.
1138
00:52:38,341 --> 00:52:40,942
Very good.
Will anyone be joining you?
1139
00:52:40,943 --> 00:52:43,645
Nope!
Just a little me time.
1140
00:52:43,646 --> 00:52:46,448
You know, I don't
get a lot of me time.
1141
00:52:46,449 --> 00:52:49,551
So this is extremely exciting.
1142
00:52:49,552 --> 00:52:51,486
Oh, very good.
1143
00:52:51,487 --> 00:52:53,488
Yeah.
You been working here long?
1144
00:52:53,489 --> 00:52:54,990
- Two years.
- Two years!
1145
00:52:54,991 --> 00:52:56,625
Oh, very nice.
1146
00:52:56,626 --> 00:52:58,193
So...
I'll bring you that Sancerre.
1147
00:52:58,194 --> 00:53:02,063
But... oh, okay.
1148
00:53:02,064 --> 00:53:04,432
- Sancerre.
- Yes.
1149
00:53:04,433 --> 00:53:06,801
- It's my favorite.
- Good taste.
1150
00:53:06,802 --> 00:53:08,103
You too.
1151
00:53:08,104 --> 00:53:11,072
It might sound crazy,
but be my guest.
1152
00:53:11,073 --> 00:53:12,540
You know what?
1153
00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:14,743
I was hoping that you would
say something like that.
1154
00:53:14,744 --> 00:53:16,244
- Oh!
- Yeah.
1155
00:53:16,245 --> 00:53:18,147
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1156
00:53:20,650 --> 00:53:25,020
Yeah!
Entertaining nonetheless.
1157
00:53:25,021 --> 00:53:26,955
Oh, my God, that is disgusting.
1158
00:53:26,956 --> 00:53:28,356
It's getting mintier, I swear.
1159
00:53:28,357 --> 00:53:30,025
So creamy.
Let's get another one.
1160
00:53:30,026 --> 00:53:32,193
Okay, I'm in charge of the...
1161
00:53:32,194 --> 00:53:33,395
I'll get the...
1162
00:53:33,396 --> 00:53:36,197
Yes you are!
He totally likes you.
1163
00:53:36,198 --> 00:53:38,667
- No!
- Yes!
1164
00:53:38,668 --> 00:53:40,135
No, no, he doesn't.
1165
00:53:40,136 --> 00:53:41,603
He's, uh... no.
1166
00:53:41,604 --> 00:53:44,105
He's been comping
your drinks all night.
1167
00:53:44,106 --> 00:53:45,306
It's like,
why would he be into me?
1168
00:53:45,307 --> 00:53:46,841
Why wouldn't he be into you?
1169
00:53:46,842 --> 00:53:48,476
Well, because he
looks like he's from,
1170
00:53:48,477 --> 00:53:51,112
like, a J.Crew, like, ar... oh.
1171
00:53:51,113 --> 00:53:53,481
Oh, my God, Chet Charles?
1172
00:53:53,482 --> 00:53:55,984
- What are you...
- What are you doing?
1173
00:53:55,985 --> 00:53:58,386
♪ I really can't stay ♪
1174
00:53:58,387 --> 00:54:01,556
♪ Baby, it's cold outside ♪
1175
00:54:01,557 --> 00:54:07,462
♪ I gotta get away 'cause,
baby, it's cold outside ♪
1176
00:54:07,463 --> 00:54:09,297
All right, it's done, so...
1177
00:54:09,298 --> 00:54:11,499
Your mom told me that you
wanted me to be your date
1178
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:12,934
for the Christmas Eve party.
1179
00:54:12,935 --> 00:54:14,102
Okay, but I didn't actually...
1180
00:54:14,103 --> 00:54:15,570
And I have never
been more honored
1181
00:54:15,571 --> 00:54:17,839
by anything in my entire life.
1182
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:19,741
So I obviously accept.
1183
00:54:19,742 --> 00:54:22,243
Oh, no, no, no,
I'm not... I didn't...
1184
00:54:22,244 --> 00:54:23,912
I got you something.
1185
00:54:23,913 --> 00:54:25,547
This is a misunder...
This is a Christmas adventure,
1186
00:54:25,548 --> 00:54:29,017
and I wrote a...
It's a San... uh, mm.
1187
00:54:29,018 --> 00:54:31,086
Okay, okay.
1188
00:54:31,087 --> 00:54:33,088
I'll see you tomorrow.
1189
00:54:33,089 --> 00:54:35,223
Probably not.
1190
00:54:35,224 --> 00:54:39,160
Don't show up
because I don't... oh.
1191
00:54:39,161 --> 00:54:42,831
Oh, no, is that chair fruitcake?
1192
00:54:42,832 --> 00:54:45,133
Oh, my God.
1193
00:54:45,134 --> 00:54:49,471
You sneaky little hussy!
1194
00:54:49,472 --> 00:54:52,507
Are you
and Chet Charles a thing?
1195
00:54:52,508 --> 00:54:54,375
No, we are not...
No, no, no, no, no.
1196
00:54:54,376 --> 00:54:55,844
We're not a thing, me and Chet.
1197
00:54:55,845 --> 00:54:57,011
No, no, we're not.
1198
00:54:57,012 --> 00:54:58,680
Stop, stop,
stop scissoring yourself.
1199
00:54:58,681 --> 00:55:03,785
Actually, um, I think
that my mom is more interested
1200
00:55:03,786 --> 00:55:06,321
like, actually interested
in him for me,
1201
00:55:06,322 --> 00:55:08,790
but I'm definitely
not interested in him.
1202
00:55:08,791 --> 00:55:11,092
That's not the guy for me
or anything like that.
1203
00:55:11,093 --> 00:55:12,794
Okay, Em, you're, like,
1204
00:55:12,795 --> 00:55:15,430
really yelling this
out loud right now.
1205
00:55:15,431 --> 00:55:19,567
I just wanted to make sure
everybody gets the point
1206
00:55:19,568 --> 00:55:22,738
about my personal feeling.
1207
00:55:24,373 --> 00:55:26,341
That's funny.
That's funny.
1208
00:55:26,342 --> 00:55:28,510
Look, look.
1209
00:55:28,511 --> 00:55:31,412
Lorraine,
can I be honest with you?
1210
00:55:31,413 --> 00:55:33,815
Yes, if you let me wear the hat.
1211
00:55:33,816 --> 00:55:35,150
Oh, okay!
1212
00:55:35,151 --> 00:55:39,320
Here you go.
Ooh!
1213
00:55:39,321 --> 00:55:41,256
Oh!
I like.
1214
00:55:41,257 --> 00:55:42,724
I like!
Looks nice on you.
1215
00:55:42,725 --> 00:55:44,859
You like it?
1216
00:55:44,860 --> 00:55:47,862
Okay, but don't take
this the wrong way,
1217
00:55:47,863 --> 00:55:51,166
but you're not really
a good listener.
1218
00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:52,867
Mm-hmm.
1219
00:55:52,868 --> 00:55:57,572
But what if I know better
for the people than they do?
1220
00:55:57,573 --> 00:55:59,440
What if I know
what's better for them?
1221
00:55:59,441 --> 00:56:00,975
Look, put your hands out.
Come here.
1222
00:56:00,976 --> 00:56:02,477
- I put my hands out?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1223
00:56:02,478 --> 00:56:03,878
Like this.
Oh, okay.
1224
00:56:03,879 --> 00:56:05,180
Hold mine, okay.
1225
00:56:05,181 --> 00:56:07,482
Repeat after me.
1226
00:56:07,483 --> 00:56:10,318
Sometimes,
my opinions are wrong.
1227
00:56:10,319 --> 00:56:13,288
Mm.
1228
00:56:13,289 --> 00:56:15,723
Sometimes,
my opinions are wrong.
1229
00:56:15,724 --> 00:56:20,528
And sometimes, I hurt people
and myself when I judge them.
1230
00:56:20,529 --> 00:56:23,898
Sometimes, I hurt people
and myself when I judge them.
1231
00:56:23,899 --> 00:56:25,300
Mm-hmm.
1232
00:56:25,301 --> 00:56:26,968
Okay.
1233
00:56:26,969 --> 00:56:29,137
Yeah, and I need
to be a better listener,
1234
00:56:29,138 --> 00:56:33,341
and I need to be more
supportive of my daughter.
1235
00:56:33,342 --> 00:56:35,243
You got a daughter?
1236
00:56:35,244 --> 00:56:39,113
No, that one was for you.
1237
00:56:39,114 --> 00:56:41,583
- Oh.
- See what I'm saying?
1238
00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:43,685
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
1239
00:56:43,686 --> 00:56:44,953
I see you.
1240
00:56:44,954 --> 00:56:46,955
Did you get
what I was saying, though?
1241
00:56:46,956 --> 00:56:48,656
You understood?
1242
00:56:48,657 --> 00:56:52,927
I'm... my daughter...
1243
00:56:52,928 --> 00:56:55,496
Whew!
She's just like her father.
1244
00:56:55,497 --> 00:56:57,098
- Okay.
- You know what I'm saying?
1245
00:56:57,099 --> 00:56:58,600
Right.
1246
00:56:58,601 --> 00:57:00,435
That's all I got
to say about it.
1247
00:57:00,436 --> 00:57:02,770
And I was...
1248
00:57:02,771 --> 00:57:05,940
I need to be more supportive
and listen.
1249
00:57:05,941 --> 00:57:07,408
Mm-hmm.
1250
00:57:07,409 --> 00:57:09,143
- I can do that.
- You can do that?
1251
00:57:09,144 --> 00:57:10,545
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay!
1252
00:57:10,546 --> 00:57:12,513
All right.
Yes, I can.
1253
00:57:12,514 --> 00:57:14,582
Cool!
You enjoying that Sancerre?
1254
00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:17,051
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
1255
00:57:17,052 --> 00:57:20,121
It's good, ain't it?
1256
00:57:20,122 --> 00:57:22,924
It's that bubbly.
1257
00:57:22,925 --> 00:57:24,859
It is good!
1258
00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:26,594
Do you remember when we were...
1259
00:57:26,595 --> 00:57:27,829
We had to do the Christmas show?
1260
00:57:27,830 --> 00:57:28,997
Mm-hmm.
1261
00:57:28,998 --> 00:57:31,099
And you, like,
dumped me as a friend,
1262
00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:33,534
and then you started saying
really mean things about me
1263
00:57:33,535 --> 00:57:34,936
to like, the whole school.
1264
00:57:34,937 --> 00:57:36,237
Do you remember that?
1265
00:57:36,238 --> 00:57:38,640
I didn't... no, no!
1266
00:57:38,641 --> 00:57:41,877
I don't remember... but wait.
Yo, where are those shots?
1267
00:57:43,712 --> 00:57:46,481
No, yeah, why would you... okay.
1268
00:57:46,482 --> 00:57:48,416
So I do remember, though.
Yeah.
1269
00:57:48,417 --> 00:57:51,686
And it was like a nightmare
for me, honestly.
1270
00:57:51,687 --> 00:57:54,122
And it just was
really weird for me,
1271
00:57:54,123 --> 00:57:56,691
because you went from,
like, being my best friend
1272
00:57:56,692 --> 00:57:59,060
in the whole world to, like,
then being my bully.
1273
00:57:59,061 --> 00:58:02,864
And it really... it, like,
messed me up, honestly, then,
1274
00:58:02,865 --> 00:58:05,199
and I kind of feel like
it still messes me up now.
1275
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,068
Yeah, dude,
but what are you talking about?
1276
00:58:07,069 --> 00:58:08,369
We were kids.
1277
00:58:08,370 --> 00:58:09,671
It's like a bajillion years ago.
1278
00:58:09,672 --> 00:58:12,206
Come on!
Come on, we're past that.
1279
00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:13,775
- Yeah?
- We're good.
1280
00:58:13,776 --> 00:58:15,009
Like, I'm already
really embarrassed,
1281
00:58:15,010 --> 00:58:16,411
and I feel like
the queen of idiots...
1282
00:58:16,412 --> 00:58:18,513
♪ It's a celebration ♪
1283
00:58:18,514 --> 00:58:23,584
Oh, oh, oh!
It's jam time!
1284
00:58:23,585 --> 00:58:27,388
Get your ears out
because we about to party!
1285
00:58:27,389 --> 00:58:32,193
♪ So, baby, don't you
stop dancing with me ♪
1286
00:58:32,194 --> 00:58:35,964
♪ Holiday, holiday,
holiday, holiday, holiday ♪
1287
00:58:35,965 --> 00:58:38,733
♪ Holiday, holiday,
holiday, holiday ♪
1288
00:58:38,734 --> 00:58:41,569
♪ Holiday, holiday, holiday ♪
1289
00:58:41,570 --> 00:58:46,107
♪ So, baby, don't you stop ♪
1290
00:58:46,108 --> 00:58:50,078
♪ Let me hear you say,
I'm ready for the holiday ♪
1291
00:58:50,079 --> 00:58:53,815
♪ Call the family up,
tell 'em we're on our way ♪
1292
00:58:53,816 --> 00:58:55,883
♪ Trying to party
'cause we're going crazy ♪
1293
00:58:55,884 --> 00:58:57,852
Um...
1294
00:58:57,853 --> 00:58:59,787
God, you told me
so much about you,
1295
00:58:59,788 --> 00:59:02,690
but you did not tell me how
great you were at miming.
1296
00:59:02,691 --> 00:59:05,560
Oh, it is one
of my finest skills, milady.
1297
00:59:05,561 --> 00:59:08,497
Well, that's very clear.
1298
00:59:10,132 --> 00:59:14,902
Oh, you might know
the answer to this.
1299
00:59:14,903 --> 00:59:16,604
Like, okay.
1300
00:59:16,605 --> 00:59:19,507
What is the mime for,
1301
00:59:19,508 --> 00:59:22,711
"I want to kiss you"?
1302
00:59:25,247 --> 00:59:27,015
Wow, uh.
1303
00:59:27,016 --> 00:59:28,616
Okay, well, I uh...
1304
00:59:28,617 --> 00:59:30,451
I think it's just,
1305
00:59:30,452 --> 00:59:32,153
lean in
1306
00:59:32,154 --> 00:59:35,490
and purse your lips,
1307
00:59:35,491 --> 00:59:37,593
and you close your eyes.
1308
00:59:45,234 --> 00:59:47,235
Good to know.
Thank you.
1309
00:59:47,236 --> 00:59:48,236
Thanks for telling me.
1310
00:59:48,237 --> 00:59:50,938
That's, uh, maybe I'll...
1311
00:59:50,939 --> 00:59:53,441
I'm gonna... I should get her
home because she's drunk.
1312
00:59:53,442 --> 00:59:55,276
- Totally cool, yeah.
- Yeah, hey!
1313
00:59:55,277 --> 00:59:58,179
Ginger, get...
What?
1314
00:59:58,180 --> 01:00:00,849
All right, stop dancing!
1315
01:00:06,555 --> 01:00:11,125
Well, KLDA Nation,
I choked again.
1316
01:00:11,126 --> 01:00:15,563
I have no idea what I'm
writing to Santa tomorrow,
1317
01:00:15,564 --> 01:00:17,832
and I'm gonna be stuck here
1318
01:00:17,833 --> 01:00:21,470
in a world
made entirely of fruitcake.
1319
01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:32,648
"I think this one looks nice
here after all."
1320
01:00:35,184 --> 01:00:38,053
Aw, Mom.
1321
01:00:41,557 --> 01:00:44,860
That's so nice.
1322
01:00:56,038 --> 01:00:57,572
Good morning.
1323
01:00:57,573 --> 01:01:01,275
Is it?
But I am glad you're up.
1324
01:01:01,276 --> 01:01:02,610
Thank you.
1325
01:01:02,611 --> 01:01:04,278
I was really glad to get
your note last night.
1326
01:01:04,279 --> 01:01:05,847
That ornament is super cute.
1327
01:01:05,848 --> 01:01:09,317
You know, I have been
thinking about that.
1328
01:01:09,318 --> 01:01:10,751
It should go in the back
1329
01:01:10,752 --> 01:01:14,522
because it does not fit
my vision.
1330
01:01:14,523 --> 01:01:16,424
Okay.
Well, it's no use.
1331
01:01:16,425 --> 01:01:17,892
How can I be helpful?
1332
01:01:17,893 --> 01:01:20,628
Well, I have to spray paint
the banister gold,
1333
01:01:20,629 --> 01:01:22,597
then I have to go
and set up a meeting
1334
01:01:22,598 --> 01:01:25,399
with that incompetent bartender
about what
1335
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,335
our signature cocktail...
Oh, I'll settle that.
1336
01:01:27,336 --> 01:01:29,538
Is going to be, and... Emily?
1337
01:01:34,977 --> 01:01:37,411
Way to grab the reindeer
by the antlers.
1338
01:01:37,412 --> 01:01:40,448
I might have a shot at this.
1339
01:01:40,449 --> 01:01:42,417
Six hours to midnight?
1340
01:01:45,687 --> 01:01:48,189
Okay, people.
1341
01:01:48,190 --> 01:01:51,826
The judges will be here
at 7:00 sharp,
1342
01:01:51,827 --> 01:01:55,263
and I want everyone
to be whistling Christmas
1343
01:01:55,264 --> 01:01:58,266
out of their buttholes
when they get here.
1344
01:01:58,267 --> 01:01:59,834
Excuse my French.
1345
01:01:59,835 --> 01:02:02,336
Uh, who is this woman?
1346
01:02:02,337 --> 01:02:04,539
That's the competition.
1347
01:02:04,540 --> 01:02:05,940
You can let her in the house,
1348
01:02:05,941 --> 01:02:08,543
you can serve her
cocktails and canapés,
1349
01:02:08,544 --> 01:02:11,679
but do not let her
touch my trees.
1350
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,781
If she comes within
1351
01:02:13,782 --> 01:02:19,020
a 3-foot radius of my trees...
1352
01:02:19,021 --> 01:02:21,856
Then you have my permission
to use force.
1353
01:02:21,857 --> 01:02:23,624
- Yeah.
- That's crazy.
1354
01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:25,560
Uh, look.
You need to talk to your mama.
1355
01:02:25,561 --> 01:02:26,894
You are running out of time.
1356
01:02:26,895 --> 01:02:28,596
Does she look like someone
who's capable
1357
01:02:28,597 --> 01:02:30,097
of being talked to?
1358
01:02:30,098 --> 01:02:33,301
She's not gonna change, okay?
She's who she is.
1359
01:02:33,302 --> 01:02:35,636
I have a few questions
about Wyatt, though.
1360
01:02:35,637 --> 01:02:37,138
Uh, look.
1361
01:02:37,139 --> 01:02:39,040
She might be more ready
to change than you think.
1362
01:02:39,041 --> 01:02:41,776
Mm, absolutely not.
Impossible.
1363
01:02:41,777 --> 01:02:43,244
Here's my question, though.
Okay.
1364
01:02:43,245 --> 01:02:45,379
Like, let's say I do
write this letter to Santa
1365
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:46,948
tomorrow, right?
1366
01:02:46,949 --> 01:02:48,783
Okay, so like, then what
happens back in the real world?
1367
01:02:48,784 --> 01:02:49,917
Like, does my mom become normal?
1368
01:02:49,918 --> 01:02:51,786
Do I stand up to Ginger?
1369
01:02:51,787 --> 01:02:54,789
Does, like...
Will I be able to find Wyatt?
1370
01:02:54,790 --> 01:02:57,858
Like, what exactly is the black
magic we're working with here?
1371
01:02:57,859 --> 01:02:59,227
Okay, okay, look, look.
1372
01:02:59,228 --> 01:03:01,362
You found him before,
you can find him again.
1373
01:03:01,363 --> 01:03:03,064
And Ginger might surprise you.
1374
01:03:03,065 --> 01:03:04,699
And your mom, for that matter.
1375
01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:06,367
All right, you're just saying
that to save your own ass.
1376
01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:07,835
No, no, no.
1377
01:03:07,836 --> 01:03:09,170
I'm saying it because I care
about you, all right?
1378
01:03:09,171 --> 01:03:11,539
And I'm pretty sure
that lady's hair
1379
01:03:11,540 --> 01:03:13,608
was not made out of fruitcake.
1380
01:03:13,609 --> 01:03:16,110
- Oh, damn, it's spreading.
- Yeah.
1381
01:03:16,111 --> 01:03:17,812
Look, I got to go
finish getting ready.
1382
01:03:17,813 --> 01:03:19,413
Lorraine is gonna blow a gasket
1383
01:03:19,414 --> 01:03:21,616
if I'm not "picture-perfect by
the time the judges get here."
1384
01:03:21,617 --> 01:03:23,784
I just don't think any
of this makes any sense to do.
1385
01:03:23,785 --> 01:03:25,486
It's not worth it.
Damn it!
1386
01:03:25,487 --> 01:03:27,622
Thought I was getting
through to these people.
1387
01:03:27,623 --> 01:03:29,725
Oh, humans!
1388
01:03:48,310 --> 01:03:49,778
Enough.
1389
01:03:54,483 --> 01:03:58,719
♪ Joy to the world,
the Lord is come ♪
1390
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:03,191
♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪
1391
01:04:03,192 --> 01:04:07,762
♪ Let every heart
prepare Him room ♪
1392
01:04:07,763 --> 01:04:09,897
Sure.
1393
01:04:09,898 --> 01:04:13,401
♪ Let heaven
and nature sing ♪
1394
01:04:13,402 --> 01:04:16,137
- Linda!
- Lorraine.
1395
01:04:16,138 --> 01:04:18,806
You remember my successful,
1396
01:04:18,807 --> 01:04:21,742
high SAT scoring daughter,
Emily?
1397
01:04:21,743 --> 01:04:23,911
Of course.
Nice to see you, Emily.
1398
01:04:23,912 --> 01:04:25,480
I love your dress.
1399
01:04:25,481 --> 01:04:28,549
Thank you so much!
It's actually my favorite.
1400
01:04:28,550 --> 01:04:30,518
Oh.
1401
01:04:30,519 --> 01:04:32,887
Unfortunately,
my daughter couldn't make it.
1402
01:04:32,888 --> 01:04:36,424
She's on duty again
in the Congo.
1403
01:04:36,425 --> 01:04:38,726
Doctors Without Borders.
1404
01:04:38,727 --> 01:04:40,695
Such noble work.
1405
01:04:40,696 --> 01:04:43,264
Yes, she's a doctor.
Thank the Lord.
1406
01:04:43,265 --> 01:04:45,766
My daughter is dating a dentist.
1407
01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:47,301
Wow.
1408
01:04:47,302 --> 01:04:50,938
Mom, I'm actually not gonna
do this with you tonight.
1409
01:04:50,939 --> 01:04:53,909
Linda, good luck tonight.
1410
01:04:55,777 --> 01:04:57,946
My baby has jokes.
1411
01:04:59,548 --> 01:05:01,883
Oh, oh!
1412
01:05:01,884 --> 01:05:04,452
Oh, you must be
so proud of your mom.
1413
01:05:04,453 --> 01:05:06,053
What a perfect family.
1414
01:05:06,054 --> 01:05:07,688
We're announcing
the winner tomorrow,
1415
01:05:07,689 --> 01:05:09,290
and I'm sure you'll be pleased.
1416
01:05:09,291 --> 01:05:11,225
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
1417
01:05:11,226 --> 01:05:12,593
Have a good day.
1418
01:05:12,594 --> 01:05:15,396
Honey, why don't you take
a picture with Santa?
1419
01:05:15,397 --> 01:05:17,098
All right.
1420
01:05:17,099 --> 01:05:19,634
What are you asking
Santa for, little missy?
1421
01:05:19,635 --> 01:05:21,035
I don't know.
I don't know.
1422
01:05:21,036 --> 01:05:22,403
Just take... can you take...
Okay, baby.
1423
01:05:22,404 --> 01:05:24,572
Here we go.
Thank you, darling.
1424
01:05:24,573 --> 01:05:26,073
It's so perfect.
1425
01:05:26,074 --> 01:05:29,410
Okay, all right,
all right, all right.
1426
01:05:29,411 --> 01:05:31,012
Why you touch my girl like that?
1427
01:05:31,013 --> 01:05:32,580
I didn't touch her.
1428
01:05:32,581 --> 01:05:34,315
I just leaned a little bit,
and you took a picture.
1429
01:05:34,316 --> 01:05:36,117
I took a... I took a picture.
1430
01:05:36,118 --> 01:05:37,451
Get your ass in there,
go to work.
1431
01:05:37,452 --> 01:05:38,853
What's the matter with you?
Took a picture.
1432
01:05:38,854 --> 01:05:39,987
If you touch another
woman here today,
1433
01:05:39,988 --> 01:05:41,957
I'ma kick your ass.
1434
01:05:46,662 --> 01:05:49,397
Emily.
1435
01:05:49,398 --> 01:05:52,166
Try to leave some canapés
for the guests.
1436
01:05:52,167 --> 01:05:54,702
It's not like you have much room
1437
01:05:54,703 --> 01:05:57,204
to breathe in that dress.
1438
01:05:57,205 --> 01:05:59,540
Heaven forbid
you listen to me once.
1439
01:05:59,541 --> 01:06:01,542
Did you even try the red one?
1440
01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:03,511
I'm so sorry, I have...
1441
01:06:03,512 --> 01:06:05,847
- Ugh!
- Thank you!
1442
01:06:12,621 --> 01:06:15,222
Hello, my love.
1443
01:06:15,223 --> 01:06:17,458
Oh, you must be kidding me.
1444
01:06:17,459 --> 01:06:20,494
Oh, I would never joke about
something as pure and natural
1445
01:06:20,495 --> 01:06:21,996
as my devotion for you.
1446
01:06:21,997 --> 01:06:23,931
I brought you this.
1447
01:06:23,932 --> 01:06:26,033
May I feed it to you
like the goddess you are?
1448
01:06:26,034 --> 01:06:29,470
Don't worry about it
because you're about to go!
1449
01:06:29,471 --> 01:06:31,772
I said goodbye!
1450
01:06:31,773 --> 01:06:35,143
I said... what if I... good day!
1451
01:06:36,612 --> 01:06:38,412
Thank you.
Thanks for this.
1452
01:06:38,413 --> 01:06:39,513
That's sweet.
1453
01:06:39,514 --> 01:06:41,683
Portrait time!
1454
01:06:44,886 --> 01:06:46,588
Portrait time!
1455
01:06:48,223 --> 01:06:49,791
Come on.
1456
01:06:52,794 --> 01:06:54,795
Okay.
1457
01:06:54,796 --> 01:06:57,331
You ready?
1458
01:06:57,332 --> 01:06:59,700
Yeah.
Something is not right.
1459
01:06:59,701 --> 01:07:02,069
It's the dress isn't it?
1460
01:07:02,070 --> 01:07:04,071
Baby, why don't you
just go up and change?
1461
01:07:04,072 --> 01:07:06,741
Do I just disgust you,
or is there anything
1462
01:07:06,742 --> 01:07:08,876
you actually like about me?
1463
01:07:08,877 --> 01:07:11,145
No, no nogtinis!
1464
01:07:11,146 --> 01:07:12,880
Lower your voice.
Everyone's watching.
1465
01:07:12,881 --> 01:07:15,116
No, Lorraine!
You need to answer me.
1466
01:07:15,117 --> 01:07:18,185
You're my daughter.
I love you.
1467
01:07:18,186 --> 01:07:20,354
But do you like me?
1468
01:07:20,355 --> 01:07:23,624
My dress is too tight.
I make too many jokes.
1469
01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:24,992
I eat too many canapés.
1470
01:07:24,993 --> 01:07:26,560
What do you actually
like about me?
1471
01:07:26,561 --> 01:07:29,363
Now is not the time
or the place, young lady.
1472
01:07:29,364 --> 01:07:31,766
I have actually just wasted
so much time
1473
01:07:31,767 --> 01:07:34,335
letting everyone
walk all over me.
1474
01:07:34,336 --> 01:07:36,737
My friends, my mom,
the radio station.
1475
01:07:36,738 --> 01:07:37,972
But enough!
1476
01:07:37,973 --> 01:07:39,640
Have you ever once
thought about what
1477
01:07:39,641 --> 01:07:43,210
it was like for me to be
your daughter, Mrs. Perfect?
1478
01:07:43,211 --> 01:07:46,881
What it's like for me to exist
while everyone around me
1479
01:07:46,882 --> 01:07:49,316
makes me feel like I don't
even deserve to love myself
1480
01:07:49,317 --> 01:07:50,918
because of the ass-backwards way
1481
01:07:50,919 --> 01:07:53,154
that this world judges women?
1482
01:07:53,155 --> 01:07:56,490
And every comment you make
just brings me right back
1483
01:07:56,491 --> 01:07:59,694
to being that shy
and insecure little girl
1484
01:07:59,695 --> 01:08:01,595
from freshman year.
1485
01:08:01,596 --> 01:08:04,865
She's always with me,
1486
01:08:04,866 --> 01:08:07,802
always telling me
to be small and quiet,
1487
01:08:07,803 --> 01:08:11,205
and telling me not to be honest
about how I'm feeling.
1488
01:08:11,206 --> 01:08:13,941
And I am exhausted!
1489
01:08:13,942 --> 01:08:16,377
That's why I don't
come back here!
1490
01:08:16,378 --> 01:08:19,146
I have only been
making suggestions.
1491
01:08:19,147 --> 01:08:22,783
Baby, it's time to listen.
1492
01:08:22,784 --> 01:08:26,153
Mom, you have spent a lifetime
1493
01:08:26,154 --> 01:08:28,989
suggesting everything
that was wrong with me,
1494
01:08:28,990 --> 01:08:31,425
validating every single bully
I have ever had,
1495
01:08:31,426 --> 01:08:34,195
and all I wanted you to do
was just look at me one time
1496
01:08:34,196 --> 01:08:36,531
and suggest
what was right about me!
1497
01:08:39,134 --> 01:08:41,402
Why didn't you say anything?
1498
01:08:41,403 --> 01:08:43,838
Because as much as I
want to be close to you
1499
01:08:43,839 --> 01:08:45,673
and tell you all of this stuff,
1500
01:08:45,674 --> 01:08:48,109
you are not
the easiest person to talk to.
1501
01:08:48,110 --> 01:08:51,278
Oh, well, I wouldn't say that.
1502
01:08:51,279 --> 01:08:53,547
Look, I learned
this week that talking
1503
01:08:53,548 --> 01:08:56,217
about your feelings is actually
really, really important,
1504
01:08:56,218 --> 01:08:57,985
and so is standing up
for yourself
1505
01:08:57,986 --> 01:09:00,054
and asking for what you want.
1506
01:09:00,055 --> 01:09:01,489
That's my girl.
1507
01:09:01,490 --> 01:09:04,492
So there will be no more
of me doubting myself
1508
01:09:04,493 --> 01:09:07,194
and no more of me
not asking for what I want.
1509
01:09:07,195 --> 01:09:09,063
That is not who I am anymore.
1510
01:09:09,064 --> 01:09:12,600
Yes, partner!
Preach!
1511
01:09:12,601 --> 01:09:16,103
Oh, bitch,
I know you not talking.
1512
01:09:16,104 --> 01:09:18,172
Ginger, you were my bully.
1513
01:09:18,173 --> 01:09:20,207
Do you get that?
1514
01:09:20,208 --> 01:09:22,877
And no, we are not over it.
1515
01:09:22,878 --> 01:09:25,179
I'm not over anything.
1516
01:09:25,180 --> 01:09:27,014
And the messed up part
is I actually like you,
1517
01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:29,216
and we're friends now,
but being friends
1518
01:09:29,217 --> 01:09:30,618
means being honest.
1519
01:09:30,619 --> 01:09:32,653
And you honestly need
to acknowledge
1520
01:09:32,654 --> 01:09:33,954
what you did to me.
1521
01:09:33,955 --> 01:09:35,756
And you need to apologize.
1522
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,593
Maybe then we can be good.
1523
01:09:40,228 --> 01:09:42,229
No, no.
Let me tell you something.
1524
01:09:42,230 --> 01:09:43,798
We are not in love.
1525
01:09:43,799 --> 01:09:47,434
Go on somewhere and find
your happiness outside of me!
1526
01:09:47,435 --> 01:09:48,803
And you!
1527
01:09:48,804 --> 01:09:50,204
Wyatt!
1528
01:09:50,205 --> 01:09:51,739
How dare you!
1529
01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:55,209
Why would you show up
in this insane Santa reality?
1530
01:09:55,210 --> 01:09:57,645
Huh?
And the thing is, I like you.
1531
01:09:57,646 --> 01:09:59,013
So do me a favor, okay?
1532
01:09:59,014 --> 01:10:00,614
This isn't gonna make any sense,
1533
01:10:00,615 --> 01:10:03,450
but in a few days
when a really cute,
1534
01:10:03,451 --> 01:10:05,553
a little bit plump with a booty,
1535
01:10:05,554 --> 01:10:08,022
self-assured girl
comes up to you
1536
01:10:08,023 --> 01:10:10,024
and shoots her shot,
just say yes.
1537
01:10:10,025 --> 01:10:11,425
Huh?
Just say yes.
1538
01:10:11,426 --> 01:10:12,760
Because I
can flip my tongue over,
1539
01:10:12,761 --> 01:10:14,895
and only one in 10,000 people
can do that.
1540
01:10:14,896 --> 01:10:16,363
You're gonna miss out on that.
1541
01:10:16,364 --> 01:10:21,101
And I know that I sound angry,
but I am not mad at you!
1542
01:10:21,102 --> 01:10:22,970
And this tree!
1543
01:10:22,971 --> 01:10:25,173
Move!
1544
01:10:28,577 --> 01:10:31,145
How dare you!
You stole my mom!
1545
01:10:31,146 --> 01:10:33,080
Okay, get it out.
Get it out.
1546
01:10:33,081 --> 01:10:34,982
Yeah.
1547
01:10:34,983 --> 01:10:37,751
No, not my tree!
Not Goldy!
1548
01:10:37,752 --> 01:10:39,821
Not Goldy!
1549
01:10:41,756 --> 01:10:46,527
No, no, no!
Oh, that's not right.
1550
01:10:46,528 --> 01:10:49,064
Stop it, stop it,
stop it, stop it!
1551
01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:55,970
Ahh!
1552
01:10:55,971 --> 01:10:57,972
No.
1553
01:10:57,973 --> 01:11:00,040
♪ Oh, I'm so happy ♪
1554
01:11:00,041 --> 01:11:02,109
Feel good, feel good?
1555
01:11:02,110 --> 01:11:04,345
Peace out, kings and queens!
1556
01:11:04,346 --> 01:11:07,882
♪ It's a celebration ♪
1557
01:11:07,883 --> 01:11:13,053
Oh, yeah, they definitely win
for Best Entertainment.
1558
01:11:13,054 --> 01:11:15,155
Oh!
1559
01:11:15,156 --> 01:11:18,559
- Oh, don't you say it.
- Say what?
1560
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:20,594
That you were right
about everything.
1561
01:11:20,595 --> 01:11:22,162
Okay, as much
as I like being right,
1562
01:11:22,163 --> 01:11:24,398
this is not bringing
me Christmas joy.
1563
01:11:24,399 --> 01:11:26,200
You still got some time.
You think so?
1564
01:11:26,201 --> 01:11:27,868
- Yeah, go talk to her.
- Talk to her.
1565
01:11:27,869 --> 01:11:30,037
Emily, oh!
1566
01:11:30,038 --> 01:11:32,539
Are we gonna?
1567
01:11:32,540 --> 01:11:34,241
No, I'm gonna... yeah.
1568
01:11:34,242 --> 01:11:36,644
Make it right.
1569
01:11:38,246 --> 01:11:41,148
Okay!
Come on, DJ!
1570
01:11:41,149 --> 01:11:42,583
DJ!
1571
01:11:42,584 --> 01:11:45,619
All right!
Y'all better come on.
1572
01:11:45,620 --> 01:11:47,755
Come on, uh, uh!
1573
01:11:47,756 --> 01:11:48,956
Come on.
1574
01:11:48,957 --> 01:11:50,591
Michael.
Michael.
1575
01:11:50,592 --> 01:11:52,660
Come on, you get in there.
Let me see what you got.
1576
01:11:52,661 --> 01:11:54,696
Hey, hey!
1577
01:11:59,334 --> 01:12:01,469
Oh, my God.
1578
01:12:05,373 --> 01:12:08,375
KLDA listeners, it's me, Emily,
1579
01:12:08,376 --> 01:12:10,010
and I'm finally
1580
01:12:10,011 --> 01:12:13,882
a boss-ass bitch.
1581
01:12:26,728 --> 01:12:29,096
I've said everything
I needed to say.
1582
01:12:29,097 --> 01:12:30,898
You're right.
1583
01:12:30,899 --> 01:12:34,101
And I'm so glad that you had
a chance to say everything
1584
01:12:34,102 --> 01:12:38,205
you needed to say because I
have a few things to say too
1585
01:12:38,206 --> 01:12:40,241
if that's okay with you.
1586
01:12:40,242 --> 01:12:42,477
Go ahead.
1587
01:12:46,948 --> 01:12:48,616
You were right.
1588
01:12:48,617 --> 01:12:51,051
I tried to control everything,
1589
01:12:51,052 --> 01:12:54,321
to make everything perfect,
1590
01:12:54,322 --> 01:12:57,291
and that makes me
a terrible listener,
1591
01:12:57,292 --> 01:12:59,260
a terrible mother.
1592
01:12:59,261 --> 01:13:01,195
But let me say this,
you have to know
1593
01:13:01,196 --> 01:13:03,597
that I like you.
1594
01:13:03,598 --> 01:13:06,333
You're funny.
You're smart.
1595
01:13:06,334 --> 01:13:08,636
Oh, you're so funny sometimes,
1596
01:13:08,637 --> 01:13:10,771
the jokes you make
I don't even understand.
1597
01:13:10,772 --> 01:13:13,040
But that's not your fault.
That's my fault.
1598
01:13:13,041 --> 01:13:15,776
Because I'm not funny.
1599
01:13:15,777 --> 01:13:19,280
You know, I thought
that if I could just
1600
01:13:19,281 --> 01:13:23,484
make everything perfect,
make myself perfect,
1601
01:13:23,485 --> 01:13:28,389
just push harder, you guys would
1602
01:13:28,390 --> 01:13:32,326
be proud of me.
1603
01:13:32,327 --> 01:13:36,330
Because I could
take care of you.
1604
01:13:36,331 --> 01:13:39,800
But you're already perfect
because you're you.
1605
01:13:39,801 --> 01:13:44,205
And I should have been
telling you that all the time.
1606
01:13:44,206 --> 01:13:49,143
I just wonder now,
1607
01:13:49,144 --> 01:13:50,745
is it too late?
1608
01:13:52,747 --> 01:13:54,348
No.
1609
01:13:54,349 --> 01:13:55,916
Of course it's not too late.
1610
01:13:55,917 --> 01:13:57,918
It's Christmas,
for Christ's sakes.
1611
01:13:57,919 --> 01:14:00,321
It's never too late.
1612
01:14:00,322 --> 01:14:02,691
Okay, okay.
1613
01:14:04,759 --> 01:14:06,460
Geez.
1614
01:14:06,461 --> 01:14:11,165
Right,
that's a tough act to follow.
1615
01:14:11,166 --> 01:14:14,201
But you're right, Em.
1616
01:14:14,202 --> 01:14:18,873
You're... you are
so totally beyond right.
1617
01:14:25,480 --> 01:14:28,215
I know I bullied you.
1618
01:14:28,216 --> 01:14:31,619
God, I was so mean.
1619
01:14:31,620 --> 01:14:33,487
It's really hard for me
to think about sometimes,
1620
01:14:33,488 --> 01:14:37,825
but I've been talking
about it in therapy, so...
1621
01:14:37,826 --> 01:14:39,760
I was an insecure piece of crap,
1622
01:14:39,761 --> 01:14:42,896
and I took it out on you,
and you didn't deserve that.
1623
01:14:42,897 --> 01:14:45,232
You're so beautiful.
1624
01:14:45,233 --> 01:14:47,402
I'm so sorry if I
ever made you doubt that.
1625
01:14:49,437 --> 01:14:51,538
You're my best bitch, bitch!
1626
01:14:51,539 --> 01:14:54,476
Oh, my God, come here.
1627
01:15:00,115 --> 01:15:01,816
Get it, girl.
1628
01:15:02,951 --> 01:15:04,351
- Hey.
- Hey.
1629
01:15:04,352 --> 01:15:06,320
Hey.
Enjoying the party?
1630
01:15:06,321 --> 01:15:08,088
Oh, yeah,
I'm having a good time.
1631
01:15:08,089 --> 01:15:10,557
Someone assaulted a tree.
1632
01:15:10,558 --> 01:15:12,059
I know.
I saw that.
1633
01:15:12,060 --> 01:15:13,227
She's crazy.
Yeah.
1634
01:15:13,228 --> 01:15:14,528
She's unhinged.
1635
01:15:14,529 --> 01:15:16,096
I wouldn't let
that person go to a forest
1636
01:15:16,097 --> 01:15:18,632
because then that... you're
in the tree's territory, so...
1637
01:15:18,633 --> 01:15:22,102
- She gon' get jumped.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
1638
01:15:22,103 --> 01:15:23,537
I just...
1639
01:15:23,538 --> 01:15:25,806
I just want to say
I loved how you stood up
1640
01:15:25,807 --> 01:15:28,275
to everyone in there, and I...
1641
01:15:28,276 --> 01:15:29,943
I think you're incredible.
1642
01:15:29,944 --> 01:15:32,246
And I'm not really sure
what you meant when you asked
1643
01:15:32,247 --> 01:15:34,715
about this mystery person
who might ask me a question,
1644
01:15:34,716 --> 01:15:36,950
but I will definitely say yes.
1645
01:15:36,951 --> 01:15:39,853
And if I'm being honest,
it kind of sounds like
1646
01:15:39,854 --> 01:15:42,256
an invitation to an orgy,
which I've never done.
1647
01:15:42,257 --> 01:15:44,591
Not to say I'm not,
you know, I can't be a freak.
1648
01:15:44,592 --> 01:15:47,695
I'm a freak.
I get freaky.
1649
01:15:47,696 --> 01:15:50,230
Not like freaky, ugh.
Like freaky, hmm.
1650
01:15:50,231 --> 01:15:52,533
But rated on a scale?
1651
01:15:52,534 --> 01:15:54,368
A moderate six.
1652
01:15:54,369 --> 01:15:56,136
You know.
I could work with that.
1653
01:15:56,137 --> 01:15:57,705
Yeah, yeah.
1654
01:15:57,706 --> 01:16:01,909
Well, good, because whenever
you meet an Emily, you know,
1655
01:16:01,910 --> 01:16:03,911
you kind of want
to hang on to them.
1656
01:16:03,912 --> 01:16:08,449
So you know,
I might push it to a seven.
1657
01:16:08,450 --> 01:16:09,850
We'll get you to eight.
1658
01:16:09,851 --> 01:16:11,919
Ooh!
1659
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:14,222
Oh.
1660
01:16:22,664 --> 01:16:25,265
Emily, you want
to go back into the party
1661
01:16:25,266 --> 01:16:28,168
and have a good time?
1662
01:16:28,169 --> 01:16:30,437
Yes.
Um, yeah.
1663
01:16:30,438 --> 01:16:32,039
Yep.
1664
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:33,440
But I'm gonna be in
in a little bit.
1665
01:16:33,441 --> 01:16:34,875
I have to go...
1666
01:16:34,876 --> 01:16:36,176
I actually have
to go do something.
1667
01:16:36,177 --> 01:16:38,145
- I got a job to do.
- Yeah, totally, totally.
1668
01:16:38,146 --> 01:16:39,713
I'll meet you in there, though.
1669
01:16:39,714 --> 01:16:42,583
- All right.
- We'll get you at a nine.
1670
01:16:42,584 --> 01:16:45,020
Okay.
1671
01:16:47,422 --> 01:16:50,324
It really is a lovely tree.
1672
01:16:50,325 --> 01:16:52,292
You okay?
1673
01:16:52,293 --> 01:16:54,396
I think I will be.
1674
01:16:56,331 --> 01:16:59,800
You know, we've had
an opening at the rummy table
1675
01:16:59,801 --> 01:17:01,702
if that doesn't sound too awful.
1676
01:17:01,703 --> 01:17:03,737
Oh, I'd love that!
1677
01:17:03,738 --> 01:17:06,774
Oh, if you don't mind
messy pajamas
1678
01:17:06,775 --> 01:17:08,709
and too many Sancerres.
1679
01:17:08,710 --> 01:17:12,312
Oh, I love Sancerres,
and the messier the better.
1680
01:17:12,313 --> 01:17:17,184
I am just exhausted
with all this perfection stuff.
1681
01:17:17,185 --> 01:17:19,052
Could you help me with this?
1682
01:17:19,053 --> 01:17:21,121
Sure, hold these.
1683
01:17:21,122 --> 01:17:24,024
Okay, I got it.
1684
01:17:24,025 --> 01:17:26,360
There you go.
Oh, I think it's right.
1685
01:17:26,361 --> 01:17:27,595
It's perfect.
1686
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:36,062
What, what, what, what, what.
1687
01:17:36,063 --> 01:17:38,665
Oh.
1688
01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:41,801
You ready to do this?
1689
01:17:41,802 --> 01:17:44,872
Yes, did you leave the rest
of B2K at the party?
1690
01:17:46,974 --> 01:17:49,208
You know,
Omarion didn't show up.
1691
01:17:49,209 --> 01:17:51,277
- Didn't he?
- Yeah, yeah.
1692
01:17:51,278 --> 01:17:53,413
All right, here you go.
1693
01:17:53,414 --> 01:17:55,982
- You already know.
- Let's do this.
1694
01:17:55,983 --> 01:17:58,017
Let's do it.
1695
01:18:01,822 --> 01:18:04,357
Okay.
1696
01:18:04,358 --> 01:18:07,693
Dear Santa, wow, what a ride,
1697
01:18:07,694 --> 01:18:10,229
you mischievous SOB, you.
1698
01:18:10,230 --> 01:18:14,667
Anyway, what I really wanted
to say was, thank you.
1699
01:18:14,668 --> 01:18:16,235
I found my voice.
1700
01:18:16,236 --> 01:18:19,038
Ironic for someone
who wants to be a DJ.
1701
01:18:19,039 --> 01:18:22,842
Thing is,
it was in me the whole time.
1702
01:18:22,843 --> 01:18:25,611
I just let the world
tell me it wasn't.
1703
01:18:25,612 --> 01:18:30,249
PS, Wolf did a stellar job.
1704
01:18:30,250 --> 01:18:32,985
Thanks for reminding me
that I'm a queen.
1705
01:18:32,986 --> 01:18:36,823
B-T-dubs, if you want to keep
that dance circle thing,
1706
01:18:36,824 --> 01:18:39,058
I'm cool with that.
1707
01:18:39,059 --> 01:18:41,127
Here goes everything.
1708
01:18:43,030 --> 01:18:45,164
There's one more thing
we need to do.
1709
01:18:45,165 --> 01:18:47,533
Okay.
1710
01:18:47,534 --> 01:18:49,502
Ready?
1711
01:18:49,503 --> 01:18:52,406
Let's do it together.
One, two, three.
1712
01:18:53,874 --> 01:18:55,508
♪ It's a celebration ♪
1713
01:18:55,509 --> 01:18:57,810
Out of my way.
1714
01:18:57,811 --> 01:19:00,813
♪ Get ready
for the holidays ♪
1715
01:19:00,814 --> 01:19:04,717
♪ Yeah it's a celebration ♪
1716
01:19:08,388 --> 01:19:11,691
♪ It's what we make it ♪
1717
01:19:11,692 --> 01:19:16,596
Yeah!
1718
01:19:16,597 --> 01:19:20,066
I am a boss-ass bitch!
1719
01:19:20,067 --> 01:19:21,767
Boss-ass bitch!
1720
01:19:21,768 --> 01:19:23,769
All: Boss-ass bitch!
1721
01:19:23,770 --> 01:19:27,107
Boss-ass bitch!
Whoo!
1722
01:19:29,443 --> 01:19:32,812
Emily, breakfast!
1723
01:19:32,813 --> 01:19:36,782
Oh, damn, it didn't work.
1724
01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:38,251
Emily.
1725
01:19:38,252 --> 01:19:41,621
Oh, no, the Tooth Fairy!
1726
01:19:41,622 --> 01:19:43,656
Am I gonna turn into fruitcake?
1727
01:19:43,657 --> 01:19:45,758
Oh, my God, that is
a terrible way to die.
1728
01:19:45,759 --> 01:19:47,426
Why would I write that?
1729
01:19:47,427 --> 01:19:49,362
Emily, it worked!
1730
01:19:49,363 --> 01:19:51,497
- Are you sure?
- Yeah!
1731
01:19:51,498 --> 01:19:53,633
I mean, I like to think
that I could take a little bit
1732
01:19:53,634 --> 01:19:56,102
of the credit, but you did it.
1733
01:19:56,103 --> 01:19:57,904
Oh, wow, okay.
1734
01:19:57,905 --> 01:20:01,340
Yeah, like... look,
your job, the apartment,
1735
01:20:01,341 --> 01:20:05,378
your cat, it's all back,
and no one's the wiser.
1736
01:20:05,379 --> 01:20:09,415
Yeah, and now you just know
how to ask for what you need.
1737
01:20:09,416 --> 01:20:14,220
And maybe, just maybe, you hate
Christmas just a little less.
1738
01:20:14,221 --> 01:20:16,289
Aww.
1739
01:20:16,290 --> 01:20:18,691
But, uh, yeah.
1740
01:20:18,692 --> 01:20:20,928
This is me saying goodbye.
1741
01:20:23,463 --> 01:20:25,431
I just, uh...
1742
01:20:25,432 --> 01:20:27,134
I just don't know how.
1743
01:20:31,204 --> 01:20:34,441
I'm really, really
gonna miss you too.
1744
01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,511
Hey, if you ever want
to write Santa, just...
1745
01:20:38,512 --> 01:20:40,079
Oh, absolutely not.
1746
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:43,616
I am completely done
writing to Santa.
1747
01:20:43,617 --> 01:20:46,586
But I'm gonna go in,
and I'm gonna ask
1748
01:20:46,587 --> 01:20:47,954
for my show today.
1749
01:20:47,955 --> 01:20:49,689
And I want you
to come on as a guest
1750
01:20:49,690 --> 01:20:54,393
because you are really, really
incredible at giving advice.
1751
01:20:54,394 --> 01:20:56,662
You know what?
1752
01:20:56,663 --> 01:20:59,332
You weren't a pain
in my ass after all.
1753
01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:02,134
Yeah.
Thank you.
1754
01:21:02,135 --> 01:21:04,204
Mm-hmm.
1755
01:21:12,212 --> 01:21:18,150
♪ We were warm and wonderful
once upon a time ♪
1756
01:21:18,151 --> 01:21:20,019
Whoa.
1757
01:21:20,020 --> 01:21:24,123
It smells and looks delicious
down here, but I can't stay.
1758
01:21:24,124 --> 01:21:27,159
I gotta run to work.
Right, your show.
1759
01:21:27,160 --> 01:21:28,761
Yeah.
1760
01:21:28,762 --> 01:21:31,163
But I'm gonna come right back
and celebrate with you after.
1761
01:21:31,164 --> 01:21:32,765
Really?
1762
01:21:32,766 --> 01:21:34,834
But you always work
on Christmas.
1763
01:21:34,835 --> 01:21:37,003
I know,
but sometimes, things change.
1764
01:21:37,004 --> 01:21:38,170
Yeah.
1765
01:21:38,171 --> 01:21:40,106
Wait, where'd you get that hat?
1766
01:21:40,107 --> 01:21:44,010
From a very special friend
who wants me
1767
01:21:44,011 --> 01:21:45,978
to remember him by it
1768
01:21:45,979 --> 01:21:49,649
and all the things
that have happened this week.
1769
01:21:49,650 --> 01:21:52,451
When you come home this evening,
1770
01:21:52,452 --> 01:21:54,987
can we talk more?
1771
01:21:54,988 --> 01:21:59,359
Well, actually, can you
talk more and I listen more?
1772
01:22:01,595 --> 01:22:04,397
Yeah.
Yeah, I would love that.
1773
01:22:04,398 --> 01:22:06,198
I would really love that.
1774
01:22:06,199 --> 01:22:07,833
Aw, merry Christmas, sweetie.
1775
01:22:07,834 --> 01:22:09,902
Merry Christmas, Mom.
1776
01:22:09,903 --> 01:22:13,139
This is Ken Spicer saying,
it's been a blast.
1777
01:22:13,140 --> 01:22:16,175
♪ Just make it
to Christmas? ♪
1778
01:22:16,176 --> 01:22:19,378
♪ Make it to Christmas ♪
1779
01:22:21,481 --> 01:22:23,816
Hey, you got a second?
1780
01:22:23,817 --> 01:22:25,918
Can it wait?
1781
01:22:25,919 --> 01:22:27,520
I'm trying
to catch a plane to Cabo,
1782
01:22:27,521 --> 01:22:29,355
if you know what I mean.
1783
01:22:29,356 --> 01:22:31,791
Actually, it can't.
1784
01:22:31,792 --> 01:22:33,993
Also, if that's
a sexual innuendo,
1785
01:22:33,994 --> 01:22:37,129
you keep that to yourself.
1786
01:22:37,130 --> 01:22:39,632
Um...
1787
01:22:43,136 --> 01:22:46,172
So I...
1788
01:22:46,173 --> 01:22:49,375
So I know that you
gave your show to Janice,
1789
01:22:49,376 --> 01:22:55,681
and congratulations to her,
but you still own the station,
1790
01:22:55,682 --> 01:23:00,720
and you and I both know that
there is one more slot left
1791
01:23:00,721 --> 01:23:03,723
for an hour-long show,
1792
01:23:03,724 --> 01:23:07,728
and I'm asking you
for that show.
1793
01:23:10,497 --> 01:23:14,066
Being your producer
has been really great,
1794
01:23:14,067 --> 01:23:18,003
but I'm better than that.
1795
01:23:18,004 --> 01:23:20,139
The meter spikes
every time I chime in
1796
01:23:20,140 --> 01:23:22,374
on your show because I'm...
1797
01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:25,077
I'm funny and I'm smart.
1798
01:23:25,078 --> 01:23:28,714
And we'll call it "Ask Emily."
1799
01:23:28,715 --> 01:23:31,418
What do you say?
1800
01:23:34,254 --> 01:23:37,623
Nice to have you
in the game, Emily.
1801
01:23:37,624 --> 01:23:40,826
Glad you finally showed up.
1802
01:23:40,827 --> 01:23:42,195
Here I am.
1803
01:23:44,064 --> 01:23:46,465
So I can take that as a yes?
1804
01:23:46,466 --> 01:23:47,967
Yes.
1805
01:23:47,968 --> 01:23:49,969
All right!
1806
01:23:49,970 --> 01:23:52,638
♪ Hold on a little longer ♪
1807
01:23:52,639 --> 01:23:56,642
♪ Don't have me
spending it alone ♪
1808
01:23:56,643 --> 01:23:59,311
♪ This time of year
is precious ♪
1809
01:23:59,312 --> 01:24:02,815
♪ Just, please,
can we make it to Christmas? ♪
1810
01:24:02,816 --> 01:24:05,919
♪ Can we make it
to Christmas? ♪
1811
01:24:16,763 --> 01:24:19,499
- Hi.
- Hi.
1812
01:24:23,036 --> 01:24:25,604
You know, my last name
is actually Snowmyn?
1813
01:24:25,605 --> 01:24:27,306
No kidding.
1814
01:24:27,307 --> 01:24:29,909
I swear to God,
Wyatt Snowmyn, at your service.
1815
01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:31,710
What a coincidence.
1816
01:24:31,711 --> 01:24:33,279
- And you, uh...
- Oh.
1817
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:37,016
- Your name?
- Emily Harris.
1818
01:24:37,017 --> 01:24:39,718
I'm a Sagittarius.
I just turned 31.
1819
01:24:39,719 --> 01:24:42,021
I'm a big fan of miming
1820
01:24:42,022 --> 01:24:44,557
and Christmas themed
craft cocktails
1821
01:24:44,558 --> 01:24:47,927
with terrible names.
1822
01:24:47,928 --> 01:24:51,330
Well then, you're going to...
1823
01:24:51,331 --> 01:24:53,599
Ah, heart?
1824
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,000
A little drink I call
1825
01:24:55,001 --> 01:24:58,470
the Santa Clausmopolitan.
1826
01:24:58,471 --> 01:25:01,074
Do you want to go out with me?
1827
01:25:03,210 --> 01:25:05,945
I don't know why,
but I have a strong feeling
1828
01:25:05,946 --> 01:25:07,947
I should say yes.
1829
01:25:07,948 --> 01:25:10,282
Mm, I don't know why either,
1830
01:25:10,283 --> 01:25:13,385
but you should
follow that maybe.
1831
01:25:13,386 --> 01:25:15,087
Yes.
1832
01:25:15,088 --> 01:25:17,423
Absolutely yes.
1833
01:25:23,797 --> 01:25:27,833
Well, I bet you were anxious
to get back to kids' gifts.
1834
01:25:27,834 --> 01:25:30,502
Actually, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
1835
01:25:30,503 --> 01:25:32,471
You might think
I'm pulling your chain,
1836
01:25:32,472 --> 01:25:34,974
but I think I want
to continue doing
1837
01:25:34,975 --> 01:25:36,942
this whole helping people job.
1838
01:25:36,943 --> 01:25:39,278
And why is that?
1839
01:25:39,279 --> 01:25:42,448
Well, you were right, okay?
1840
01:25:42,449 --> 01:25:44,984
I was selfish,
and I was really dismissing
1841
01:25:44,985 --> 01:25:47,052
the virtue of kindness.
1842
01:25:47,053 --> 01:25:49,388
I really like helping people.
Ah!
1843
01:25:49,389 --> 01:25:52,424
Oh, Wolfie!
Yes you do!
1844
01:25:52,425 --> 01:25:54,326
Wolfie, I knew it.
I knew it!
1845
01:25:54,327 --> 01:25:56,263
I didn't know it.
I was hoping, though.
1846
01:25:57,731 --> 01:25:59,365
Yeah, whoo!
Whoo!
1847
01:25:59,366 --> 01:26:02,135
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Wolfie.
1848
01:26:06,506 --> 01:26:08,140
The Tooth Fairy.
1849
01:26:16,883 --> 01:26:17,984
Oh.
1850
01:26:22,155 --> 01:26:25,557
Uh, let's dance!
1851
01:26:25,558 --> 01:26:28,227
Yeah, can-can, hey!
1852
01:26:28,228 --> 01:26:29,595
Reindeer, reindeer.
Do the reindeer.
1853
01:26:29,596 --> 01:26:30,896
Do the reindeer.
1854
01:26:30,897 --> 01:26:32,531
We on the reindeer,
we ride the reindeer.
1855
01:26:34,968 --> 01:26:38,237
♪ Uh-huh, that's just
the way you make me feel ♪
1856
01:26:38,238 --> 01:26:39,972
♪ That's just the way
you make me feel ♪
1857
01:26:39,973 --> 01:26:42,341
♪ That's just
the way you make me feel ♪
1858
01:26:42,342 --> 01:26:44,143
♪ Know what love is,
always don't stop it ♪
1859
01:26:45,679 --> 01:26:48,547
♪ You got me right here
in your jean pocket ♪
1860
01:26:50,050 --> 01:26:53,118
♪ Laying your body
on the shag carpet ♪
1861
01:26:53,119 --> 01:26:55,154
♪ Ooh, you know what love is ♪
1862
01:26:55,155 --> 01:26:56,889
♪ Always don't stop it ♪
1863
01:26:58,591 --> 01:27:02,628
♪ It's like I'm powerful
with a little bit of tender ♪
1864
01:27:02,629 --> 01:27:06,932
♪ An emotional,
a sexual blender ♪
1865
01:27:06,933 --> 01:27:09,001
♪ Mess me up, yeah ♪
1866
01:27:09,002 --> 01:27:11,770
KLDA Nation,
did you get everything
1867
01:27:11,771 --> 01:27:12,972
you asked for this year?
1868
01:27:12,973 --> 01:27:14,239
I know I did.
1869
01:27:14,240 --> 01:27:16,308
And great news,
1870
01:27:16,309 --> 01:27:19,745
tonight and every night,
I'm gonna be coming at you
1871
01:27:19,746 --> 01:27:22,214
with my own show, "Ask Emily."
1872
01:27:22,215 --> 01:27:24,216
We'll spend
an entire hour together
1873
01:27:24,217 --> 01:27:25,851
talking and listening.
1874
01:27:25,852 --> 01:27:29,254
You can tell me your worries,
tell me your wishes,
1875
01:27:29,255 --> 01:27:31,557
and you can ask
for what you want.
1876
01:27:31,558 --> 01:27:33,659
And I'm gonna ask you
to bear with me
1877
01:27:33,660 --> 01:27:36,895
because I'm about to get real
vulnerable up in this piece.
1878
01:27:36,896 --> 01:27:40,266
So let's start it off right
with our first caller.
1879
01:27:42,102 --> 01:27:44,169
Hi, you're on the air
with Emily.
1880
01:27:44,170 --> 01:27:46,505
What's your name,
and what's your problem?
1881
01:27:46,506 --> 01:27:49,475
Linda, and I have
a game night emergency.
1882
01:27:49,476 --> 01:27:53,979
But also,
I'm so proud of you, honey.
1883
01:27:53,980 --> 01:27:56,983
Hi, Mom.
What's your question?
132974
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