Original subtitles

This is the mailbox of Isabell Suba.

I'm rowing armed across the Pacific

chasing Japanese whale hunters. If I survive, I'll call you back.

Hi Isabell, new voice-mail? Not bad. Not bad at all.

Hi Isabell, it's me again, again and again.

I just checked, your flight has no delay. Where the hell are you?

I'm gonna wait 10 more minutes, but then I'm gone! Trust me.

In that case, you gotta manage yourself.

I would really love to know in which hotel we are sleeping tonight?

You didn't forward said mail as promised.

Anyways, I hope you get to your own screening in Cannes on time.

This is David Wendtland, please leave a message after the beep

I'll call you back asap.

I wasn't expecting you

but are you around anyway?

Please call me back as you state in your voice-mail.

I'm standing in front of A2, Terminal 2.

Alright.

Yes? Hello?

In the shower? So you're not at the airport?

Because I've just arrived but I honestly wasn't expecting you.

I bet you wouldn't be here.

Yes, I know. I will be there.

Of course not, you're probably busy at the festival.

I'm aware of the appointment. I'm not completely crackbrained.

Come in.

Hello. - Hi.

Good to see you!

Well...

I'm Julia.

My hands are all wet...

Julia desperately needed a room.

So I thought I...

The hotel was fully overbooked when I arrived...

Anyhow, Julia and her friend are now our roommates.

In our beds or what? - No.

They're sleeping here and we're sleeping over there.

Just on the left.

You must be joking, right? - Pardon?

I thought we had two single beds.

What's the problem?

We're not gonna be bedfellows!

Why not?

It's not the end of the world.

It's not the end of the world.

I decide for myself and this is the end.

Because I don't want to sleep in one bed.

It's nothing personal, but I arrive

and there is someone I've never met before.

I appreciate that but your boyfriend said I could stay.

He's not my boyfriend! Come on.

Men show movies and women their breasts

Wait a second...

My feet are burning...

Yes? - This is Claudia.

Where are you?

Sorry, we just had a really important meeting.

because of the subject matter.

Let's meet at the Mediaboard...

Ok, got it. Sorry. We're a bit way off...

We're in the cab already! Maybe 10 minutes...

- What's wrong?

We've got an interview in 10 minutes!

You go first... - I'll go on my own then!

No!

Julia, I've got to get in just for a sec, please.

Could you please come out? I just want to have a quick shower.

I'm washing my hair!

Please, you got to understand - Out!

DAVID! GET UP! NOW!

Stop screaming.

This woman is blocking the bathroom.

Move it!

I'm coming.

Julia?

It's me again...

I absolutely have to get in there now.

Whatever you please, I can do your shopping

invite you to dinner...

I'm coming in now, Julia. Alright?

Listen I'll pay you a 100 Euros but I need to shower right now.

Morning. - Morning.

Morning! - Get out!

Are you insane? - But we have an appointment.

David, I need my space! I have to shower.

I'm going to pee first.

Can I still shower? - No!

You can't phone right now we need to go!

Where are we going? - To the Casino!

We need to fix the toilet.

It's clogged.

It's about me, my film, about "Chica"

about women, about "Dear Sheriff"...

Explain "Dear Sheriff" again.

What do you mean by explain?

Just briefly... it's about 2 brothers

2 brothers living on a farm and...

Please tell me... - Are you serious?

You didn't read the script?

That really sucks!

Can you be professional just once? Please?

I should be professional? And you don't read my script

which we want to sell here.

I didn't even know you'd be coming.

Come on.

One never knows!

That's a good excuse, just because you didn't read it.

It's about 2 sisters, not 2 brothers! You're a moron.

I'm really sorry. I had to arrange appointments.

I'm really sorry. I had to arrange appointments.

Bye, Julia! -Bye. - Ciao.

I can't be bothered now. Why didn't you read it?

Isabell,

if I'd only read your summary for "Chica XX Mujer"

I felt how

you're capable of expressing what's in your heart.

Stop kissing my ass.

No, I'm dead serious!

So you don't read my scripts anymore?

Because they're all crap? - No!

I've been terribly busy just like you...

You didn't read it, so shut up!

What kind of genre is it?

Is it a romcom or is it rather

it's a western comedy.

Is it a love story? - No, it's not about love!

It's about sibling love! - Alright.

But most of all...

you know I'm into women's issues

and portraying them in a natural way.

I don't like typical gender roles.

So first they hate and then they love each other?

Polemically, yes.

That's important!

Exactly!

Seriously, guys?

It's way too late now! I'm very busy.

Will you be at the German Films party later?

Well be here tomorrow and the day after...

I'm really sorry! - What's the matter with you?

Alrighty. - Hope to see you later.

Bye. - Bye.

Too bad, we screwed up again!

Why is that?

Why? I was all set!

David,

we need an umbrella!

There you go!

We can't just go there looking like drowned rats

ls there a guest list? - No.

Too bad.

Thank you.

Well, that makes sense.

Why does it make sense?

Because we're not on the list.

but now she's gone, obviously,

so we're out!

Good lord, that's my ex girlfriend!

Really? That's your ex?

Viola!

Viola!

Hi. - Hi.

What are you doing here?

Probably the same as you.

Cool! - And you?

Good to see you! - Dito.

I'm showing a film. - Really?

- In the short film section.

Maybe you wanna join?

Maybe you wanna join?

Well, maybe. Are you coming inside?

No we... could you smuggle us in?

Are you invited to tonight's party?

Sure.

For the German Films party? - I sorted it out.

Are you sure? - Yeah, sure!

So come.

It starts at 10pm.

We'll wrangle you in.

Will you come? - Sure, I'll come.

Damn it! Hold on... it's better this way...

I'm freezing.

Just quickly. Thanks.

There'll be this guy who says

who tells us about potential buyers.

This means...

We tell him the story and he gets us the clients.

I see.

Once I was travelling with my 2 year old son

I told him that these slushies, or ice drinks...

contain colours that give you cancer.

And he thought there was a real crap inside.

Now he believes they're bad for you.

And the other one? - 1

Tell me their names again, Johanne...

Antonia is the big... - The big sister.

Let's sell it as a buddy movie. - Why?

It's such a manly word. - Well...

...maybe that's exactly why.

But it isn't a buddy movie.

It is kind of.

How would you know?

Can't we just call it a western comedy?

I don't need your permission. It's a western comedy.

Don't tease me. - Do you know a western comedy?

Not right now. - Do you know "Hangover"?

What genre is that? - A buddy movie.

Isn't it cool? - But I don't do "Hangover"

If' I say western comedy, you can't say buddy movie.

Let's not fuss about details now.

Superb.

Are you really on my side?

All we've done together, we accomplished.

All I've done while you were with me, we accomplished.

Is it closed?

Our tickets for tonight are in there?

In there?

Maybe we need to knock...

Maybe...

Where on earth do you think we are?

A what?

A shlump. You never get things straight.

What have you been doing the past 2 days?

Tell me!

Messed around, partied hard? What?

You didn't even read my script.

Well...

I'll find a way. I handle it!

Alright, you win.

and think about how you treat your folks!

I'm not your girlfriend! - Yeah, get lost.

This is Laura's voice-mail, I'm not available

but I'll call you back if you leave a message.

It's me.

Can you call me back, please. Because...

...things are really rough here.

Right now. With David...

between us...

I mean, between David and me...

professionally, I mean!

The usual crap.

I'd be really happy if...

I miss you.

I really need you to call me.

Bye for now.

Can you pay for my ticket?

I've spent all my cash on meals.

Thanks.

How are things with Laura?

I don't know.

I said, I don't know.

There's always tomorrow!

How you can say "There's always tomorrow"

So typically male!

You just can't admit you screwed up.

You never say: I'm sorry, it's my fault.

Instead you say: "There's always tomorrow"

But that's typically female,

you generalize...

and blame me for screwing up

the whole day?

How did we start today?

Right, typically female, we see things how they are.

Women are capable of telling the truth.

To see and tell the truth!

Which is:

you screwed up today!

You're obviously wrong!

What about the Mediaboard?

The tickets for the party tonight

taking place right now. Whose fault is it?

I address this question to the public.

Fine. I hereby apologize

You read it and get it wrong.

Well, it's open until 11pm, though it clearly says: 4:30pm.

Completely pointless!

Just the night before there was a party

with Fatih Akin

I would've introduced, had you been there.

And I had the impression the Pavilion stays open 24/7.

Firstly, I can't be bothered about Fatih Akin...

Of course not!

Because he's a guy or Turkish?

Are you a Nazi or What are you actually?

You are so stubborn.

Seriously, why are you like that?

How, like that?

Always these accusations?

I mean, you're simply unbearable...

Are you alright?

I see.

Laura, why aren't you calling me back?

I really miss you.

Call me! Please.

He know you number too, please.

You're just embarrassing.

I was just great compared to you!

We're here to sell our film and...

talk to people and you only think of...

Thanks for reminding!

So tell me again about your first days here.

I wanna meet 'viola tomorrow.

We don't have time.

Yes we have!

Just because your panties are...

dripping... Yuck! You're disgusting!

I can't imagine how disgusting you are.

If things had gone differently

and you had been kissed...

then you'd be boasting...

I wanted us to be like professionals

and you tell me about the story again...

What's wrong with you?

You make out and what happens next?

You both insert something?

How can it be that...

when do you...

decide you're not normal?

Well, around the age of 14 you just sit down...

and think hard:

Do I prefer to be homo- or heterosexual?

Then you decide. Just like that!

What the hell were you thinking?

You didn't think about it?

Of course not!

But you're not initially attracted to women.

But you're initially into women.

Have you ever thought about being into guys?

Nope.

GIRL XX WOMAN

A FILM BY ISABELL SUBA

The film "Chica XX Mujer"

welcome the director Isabell Suba

It was too quiet.

It went well and the applause too.

People applauded right after the film

which wasn't the case with other films.

It was too quiet.

You are so stubborn!

People laughed right from the start!

They always do.

We met some celebs

and I'd say: The night's still young

Let's see what else Cannes has to offer

Don't stop!

Shitty weather, I'd say.

I didn't expect this. I only brought clothes for...

and she was screwing all night long!

In the same room? - Yup.

Right, moving on to "Dear Sheriff"

Let's leave it for now.

But we said...

...doesn't matter!

How are you?

She's fine, she looks terrific.

Viola, we're working on this project...

Where are you sleeping at the moment?

At my agent's.

As she told us. Weren't you listening at all?

Instead of this business crap!

Please.

Alright.

It's crammed with luggage!

Doesn't matter.

We could move the suitcases. No biggie.

But if you sleep at ours with a towel as a blanket...

He can sleep on the floor.

Why should I...

Funny, I somehow thought you hated each other!

No.

Apparently not.

We're together but David's a mess.

Where does that rumour come from?

Everyone.

I wonder who bothers about us two?

Well, David is difficult.

It takes a town.

one interview...

but we blew it!

The journalist was gone.

It wasn't my fault at all!

There isn't a single film in the competition by a woman!

That sounds terrific, right?

Can you arrange something?

Your film fits as well!

We made this film together!

What is your problem?

You always put a knife into my...

What do you mean by knife?

We came here to talk about

"Dear Sheriff".

We'll talk about it later!

Maybe, it's better if...

if you...if I...

if only Isabell did the interview...

'cause ii you're acting like this

I'd be embarrassed.

I don't like the idea...

'cause we made this film together.

And also... we're not really...

call her, don't worry.

Actually...

...we get on really well!

True!

As a male feminist, I truly regret...

there isn't a single film by a female director here.

And Isabell Suba...

who's also different... I mean queer...

What's your point?

Like your "Smile when your gay" T-Shirt.

What was the question again?

Why do you feel responsible for equality issues?

I don't want to be...

seen in that light!

'Cause I wanna dig my way based on my skills

not by exposing my tits!

Look at the facts:

there's no film in the competition by a woman!

In Germany

men make more money with movies than women.

Is this a fact?

Yes it's proven. - But that's because...

men have been telling stories for much longer.

It's because... - Let me finish!

No feature film by a woman

was ever funded with over 3 million!

"Hanni und Nanni"!

How's it for you as a man,

trying to sell your projects.

Would you use your charm to sell a story?

It happens.

It always happens!

And he's not even aware of it.

I'm a pro through and through!

He's a dick through and through!

I'll leave that out! Don't worry.

Do you feel you don't get what you want

by being homosexual

compared to straight women?

Certainly, it matters. - Certainly not!

'Cause I'm not celebrating it.

Because you tell them all! - Lid on lid..

I wonder why I'm working with you?

I'd really deserve a pretty and intelligent woman.

For example Venezuela:

We filmed a forest fire.

It's a sexual force for me.

And almost ended in prison!

We were shooting and I captured it all!

But back in the studio the only thing I hear

on the tape is David complaining...

and telling others

that he doesn't like the idea.

You walk around... - No!

Telling people my movie sucks!

No! I didn't!

Katharina Kowalewski told me

- She's a phony tart -You did that at parties after I'd left.

Do you even know Katharina Kowalewski?

She lives in my apartment which you sublet!

But she's a liar!

Enough! I can't work like this.

Enough! I can't work like this.

And if he takes my recorder...

If you act like this...

neither you, nor me...

will benefit from that!

It's unprofessional

in front of journalists!

UNACCEPTABLE! - Sorry.

To some extent. Cause' we are buddies

and our next film

tells our story...

Isabell!

Good grief. Lord,

thank God. Hey...

Are you ok?

I'm so sorry.

I spoke to the interviewer.

Do with the interview what you like.

We gotta do this together!

For which we are too late again.

Please!

Alright.

Hello. - My pleasure.

Was the film well received? - Yes.

The "Young Producers" are here today.

You are welcome to grab a glass. - Thank you.

Could we talk in private?

Not sure if it's private here.

I'm playing hostess.

5 minutes are enough? - Perfect.

Ok, I'll do my best!

We'll sort this out.

It's gonna be fine.

Have you watched any films yet?

I'm primarily here to meet people.

What's up?

I'd be so grateful if

we could talk about my latest project.

Your opinion is very dear to me.

It's a ninety minute film

...we imagined...

It's because of the sun...

Is it a feature film or a TV movie?

A Feature.

Set in Bavaria. - In Bavarian dialect?

It's about 2 sisters, 2 half sisters...

because their father is in a coma.

They need to decide about his fate.

The problem:

The younger sister grew up on her daddy's western farm

She's a farmer?

Sort of.

She is a stuntwoman...

It's an event! - Tell me more!

But it's deserted...

Exactly. So she waits for her father

to come home

She can't accept that her father is dead.

So she waits.

She calls her father "Sheriff John Silver"...

No details get to the plot.

Otherwise we won't see through today.

Eventually, they meet...

the older sister wants him to die...

'cause she doesn't know him...

and her sister seems crazy...

What's the project called?

"Dear Sheriff"

"Deer-Sheriff"? - It's a working title.

Bad titles always stick.

Find a better one.

"Deer-Sheriff" sounds terrible.

Try something fancy. To sell it easily.

"Deer-Sheriff"? No way!

I'd think twice before reading.

Sounds really strange!

Completely dull.

Continue? - Right...

So the sister is in charge...

and moves to the farm.

What?

Unbelievable!

Why not?

Doesn't she have a family?

She moves to this paranoia farm

only for that reason? - She has no choice.

Or she has to pay hospital fees

Not possible.

It's over but she needs the other signature.

Go on.

She moves to the farm, manages everything

Enter " Bill Buffin"

Is this science fiction?

Folks, in our times where people suffer

Science fiction? - People need to laugh!

About 2 sisters we don't care

one is a nutcase...

Couldn't careless.

Just imagine the disappointment...

when the younger sister realises...

that the older is lying!

Isabell, I'll read it

I promise, sweety.

To us in Cannes and to the sun.

Want some coffee?

Yes, please.

How did the interview go?

Thanks you made that happen.

It went alright.

So cool you got on the "ARTE" yacht.

So hard.

It's so swank there!

One yacht after another.

Wow!

Interesting people... some Spaniards...

And the actual selling?

Was pretty cool. -It went well!

Let's see. - We'll see.

So where can I sleep?

Just there...

Oh, Katharina is sleeping there.

So there then?

That's Julia's.

Katharina wanted to leave today. - I see.

But her things are still here.

You can't do this to me I just cancelled a friend.

In the worst case you'll share with us

I've had 3 rough nights already! - I'll call Katharina.

No way we'll gonna share one bed!

Didn't you say she was leaving?

H' not David, you might sleep on the floor?

Unfortunately I can't... Maybe.

I'd have never said yes...

We all know Katharina, can we just wait!

Make yourself at home.

I'll make some coffee. How do you like yours?

Whatever.

Stop it! Don't you know...

How many times did we have coffee? Don't waste it!

I prefer it black or with sugar or milk.

What is your problem?

Make your own goddamn coffee!

What's going on, guys?

You look like shit.

One drink! - Come on.

We came here with 4 guys driving from Hamburg

in an old BMW banger

which broke down after only 30km!

Everything is an adventure!

We're filmmakers living our dream!

We're on top of the skyline of Cannes!

What an incredible feeling

to belong here.

That's what we're living for!

When you're old you'll share all these stories

that you experienced with your friends.

You lived life to the fullest!

That's why you gotta do as much as possible.

If somebody says: It's impossible...

a bumblebee isn't able to fly

but she doesn't know better

so she flies anyways!

When you're out with friends...

and your car breaks down after 30km...

thank god, you can tell them later.

What are we living for?

You're such an asshole.

The sad thing is when you notice

truly have something to say

and all others pretend

they know something about filmmaking!

That's arrogant!

Just look at them!

They're all just trashcans, sorry.

It's not arrogant...

now I'll say something!

Isabell really knows about filmmaking.

Because I made a lot of movies

and know how they're done!

Don't you think so?

I called David a dick in front of everyone at the interview.

Aren't you?

The woman is alright!

That woman is dead boring.

I know that, thanks a lot.

Some women have a different opinion. Like Barbara Haebe.

The only thing Mrs. Haebe complained about was...

the shitty script!

She said, I usually laugh when I'm told a comedy plot

but I haven't yet!

That's tough.

At least Viola is laughing now.

Obviously it's not a comedy

I always have.

I was upset that you didn't cast me.

I know..

Girls...

Shall we have a toast?

To the future!

You should try to smile more.

Can you tell a joke?

No.

Actors should be able to, right?

And action!

I got one!

A female director and a producer...

try to sell...

a western comedy

and no one laughs about it!

I know another one.

David Wendlandt and Isabell Suba are making a movie together.

And their following movie as well! - Even funnier!

It also works in the past tense:

They MADE a film together.

Leading role: Viola Vaughn.

That's not funny.

Not at all.

Of course it is...

What is it?

If we don't do this together

I'll be on my own from now on.

Sarcasm aside

Is that a statement? You wanna separate?

It's an announcement. I love working with you...

but you either support me or leave it.

Seriously?

Think about it carefully...

Don't you think I already did?

Why don't we talk about it?

Do you even know what that means?

You know what I mean. You're just fake.

You talk all graceful, gallant and well put

but there's nothing behind it.

I don't feel it.

You're like dead meat. And I can't work with dead meat.

Now I'm supposed to think about working with you?

You tell me!

I want to work with you.

I don't believe you.

You just say that because you need me.

Sell it to me again!

That's not funny...

No, it's not!

Is this the selling package? - Yes, it's mine!

Let it go!

Stop fighting about it.

Guys, guys!

You are so embarrassing. Leave it!!

Two against one is unfair...

Get lost!

I can't bear it anymore.

Get your things and leave.

Right now.

She stays!

Get out!

Leave! - She stays.

I'm not married. I can fool around.

What's the problem?

Maybe we should go to the movies.

Just to have a look...

what movies are actually made.