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1
00:00:02,772 --> 00:00:04,610
♪ ♪
2
00:00:10,722 --> 00:00:14,763
As we embark on the sacred task
of choosing a new pontiff,
3
00:00:14,763 --> 00:00:17,301
let the Holy Spirit guide us.
4
00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:21,242
In nomine Patris et Filii
et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
5
00:00:21,342 --> 00:00:23,681
BART:
The Doge of Venice
sends his regards,
6
00:00:23,781 --> 00:00:25,083
you (bleep) papal stooge.
7
00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:27,321
Choke on your own junk, Petrucci.
8
00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:29,927
That'll teach you to exclude
the Ecumenical Council,
9
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:31,964
you (bleep) papist lapdogs.
10
00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:34,836
Throat cut. Head chop. Taste it.
11
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:37,408
(bleep), (bleep), (bleep).
12
00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:38,511
(groans):
Oh!
13
00:00:38,611 --> 00:00:40,582
Where did you learn
to talk like that?!
14
00:00:40,682 --> 00:00:42,552
- Was it Selma?
- Aw, honey,
15
00:00:42,552 --> 00:00:45,424
we're just worried that
this bloody, potty-mouthed game
16
00:00:45,424 --> 00:00:48,698
- is turning your mind to...
- To (bleep).
17
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,033
Oh, fine.
18
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,139
- Then can I play
Future War: Death Guts?
- No.
19
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,344
Future War 2: Brain Carnage?
20
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:56,279
No!
21
00:00:56,279 --> 00:00:57,716
But then what do I play?
22
00:00:57,816 --> 00:00:59,252
I have to play some game.
23
00:00:59,252 --> 00:01:01,489
Of course you do.
24
00:01:04,428 --> 00:01:06,901
MARGE: Do you like
your new game, sweetie?
25
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:09,573
- No.
- Do you want to stop playing?
26
00:01:09,706 --> 00:01:11,242
- No.
- Perfect.
27
00:01:11,342 --> 00:01:13,614
That's right
in the video game sweet spot.
28
00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:16,152
I found that blocky game
on a moms' group.
29
00:01:16,252 --> 00:01:19,292
It's an online world
where you learn to help, share,
30
00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:22,999
and get virtual stickers
for celebrating our differences.
31
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:24,636
(groans)
32
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,306
It's good for all ages,
33
00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:27,876
so I'm also letting Maggie play.
34
00:01:27,976 --> 00:01:29,546
Let me help you get set up.
35
00:01:29,546 --> 00:01:32,552
I downloaded the instructions
and-- Oh.
36
00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:35,558
I guess giving you that thing
to shut you up at restaurants
37
00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:37,394
really paid off.
38
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:40,635
MILHOUSE:
And these bushy eyebrows
39
00:01:40,735 --> 00:01:44,275
are the cherry on top of
this hunk sundae. Uh-oh.
40
00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:46,145
My nose is glitching.
41
00:01:46,145 --> 00:01:49,151
Yeah, this stupid old computer
is super glitchy.
42
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,955
Why is the flat screen so thick?
43
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,926
Is it also a microwave?
44
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:55,765
Look, I bought this mohawk
with Bobux.
45
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,468
What the hell are Bobux?
46
00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:59,338
It's the money
you use in the game.
47
00:01:59,438 --> 00:02:01,342
You buy it
with your parents' credit card
48
00:02:01,442 --> 00:02:05,283
so you can get skins,
costumes, wigs,
49
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:07,354
even a dragon codpiece.
50
00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:09,291
BART:
Ah, you're the only person
on Earth
51
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:11,362
who looks lamer in a mohawk.
52
00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:13,934
See if this rando will buy it.
53
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,774
"I'll sell it for one Bobux."
54
00:02:17,742 --> 00:02:19,780
(cash register rings)
55
00:02:19,913 --> 00:02:21,115
MILHOUSE:
Booyah!
56
00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:22,484
BART:
Well, that's weird.
57
00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:24,455
You got the money,
but you got another mohawk.
58
00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:26,827
See if you can sell it again.
59
00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,330
(cash register rings)
60
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:29,833
BART:
Another one.
61
00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:32,338
Whoa, it's like printing money.
62
00:02:32,338 --> 00:02:34,175
It's probably
'cause we're playing
63
00:02:34,175 --> 00:02:36,780
on this crappy old computer.
64
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,951
Don't they have
these same old (bleep) Colecos
65
00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:41,089
in the school computer lab?
66
00:02:41,189 --> 00:02:43,527
(chuckles): They're even older
and more crappy.
67
00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:45,631
Then that glitch
is gonna make us rich.
68
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,804
All we need to do is
round up a bunch of nerds.
69
00:02:48,904 --> 00:02:50,775
Nerds we got.
70
00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:53,313
- (video game music playing)
- (cash registers ringing)
71
00:02:58,256 --> 00:03:00,160
(video game sound effects
playing)
72
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:01,830
Wow, Maggie.
73
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,301
You really love this game, huh?
74
00:03:04,301 --> 00:03:06,573
So involving. Hmm.
75
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,579
I'm gonna log in
to see what's so fascinating.
76
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,921
Brought you
some strawberries and bananas.
77
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:17,829
Oh, you like bananas
but not strawberries.
78
00:03:17,829 --> 00:03:19,933
Good to know. Wait!
79
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,639
You just talked!
You're talking!
80
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,277
With tiny pictures!
Do it again.
81
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:27,549
You hate broccoli.
82
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:30,722
Oh, my God, we're having
our first conversation.
83
00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:32,291
This is amazing.
84
00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,529
I'm talking to my baby.
85
00:03:34,629 --> 00:03:38,436
(gasps)
Thank you, screen time.
86
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:43,781
Skinner, your school's
test scores made the paper.
87
00:03:43,781 --> 00:03:46,920
- Hmm?
- The Chinese press
is using them as proof
88
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,862
of the decline of
the American educational system.
89
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,938
Well, we did have all that lead
in the water fountain pipes.
90
00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,609
Oh, lead, lead, lead.
91
00:03:57,709 --> 00:03:59,278
Everything's always lead
with you.
92
00:03:59,378 --> 00:04:01,015
This school is a train wreck.
93
00:04:01,015 --> 00:04:02,585
I want those numbers up, Seymour.
94
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:05,323
Get me a PowerPoint
presentation Monday.
95
00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:07,327
I'll have it done
by Sunday night.
96
00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:09,365
Don't ruin my weekend.
97
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,070
(sighs) Hmm.
98
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:15,978
Strange, the download rate
is 87 megabytes per second.
99
00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,782
We're paying for 91.
100
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:18,851
Better check the router.
101
00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:20,454
Hmm?
102
00:04:20,555 --> 00:04:22,592
Why aren't you students
in class?
103
00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:26,767
Um, we're playing Oregon Trail
and no one's having a good time.
104
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,438
Hmm. I don't see
any oxen with dysentery.
105
00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:31,610
Milhouse,
what's really going on here?
106
00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:33,647
We found a video game glitch
that makes money
107
00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:36,954
and now Bart is the boss of
a lucrative criminal enterprise!
108
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:39,826
You want strawberries
or Nutella?
109
00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:41,195
A crepe station?
110
00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:43,868
Simpson, you are
staring down the barrel
111
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:46,305
of a harshly-worded email
to your parents.
112
00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:48,777
That I will follow up on.
113
00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:51,182
Seymour, walk with me.
114
00:04:51,282 --> 00:04:54,756
Well, I do need
9,000 more steps.
115
00:04:54,856 --> 00:04:57,427
I'm gonna be straight with you.
We're printing money.
116
00:04:57,529 --> 00:05:00,635
Yes, I saw Hubert's
Rolex fidget-spinner.
117
00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:04,375
Now, I know you'd never take
any sketchy cash for yourself,
118
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:07,347
but what if we gave
this train wreck of a school
119
00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:09,118
a piece of the action?
120
00:05:09,218 --> 00:05:10,487
I wish people would stop
121
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:12,224
calling this school
a train wreck.
122
00:05:12,324 --> 00:05:13,561
(exclaims)
123
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,130
(sighs)
124
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:16,733
Everyone else
sees Seymour Skinner
125
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,873
as a broken-down sad-sack
never-was in a cheap suit,
126
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:23,614
but I see a broken-down sad-sack
never-was in a cheap suit
127
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,651
with a vision for this school,
128
00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:28,423
a vision he never dared
tell anyone about.
129
00:05:28,524 --> 00:05:31,997
I do have a vision--
no, no, a desperate prayer--
130
00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:34,001
that could save this school.
131
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,305
Tell me everything.
132
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:40,948
♪ In my dream
there's a theater ♪
133
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:44,421
♪ A theater so cool ♪
134
00:05:44,421 --> 00:05:47,027
♪ They'll turn this dump ♪
135
00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:50,535
♪ Into a magnet arts school ♪
136
00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:53,941
♪ No testing to standardize ♪
137
00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:56,980
♪ When all the kids
are "dolls" and "guys" ♪
138
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,953
♪ Academic benchmarks
cannot be exacting ♪
139
00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:04,596
♪ When all you teach
is dance and acting ♪
140
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:07,835
♪ If the baseball team's
on a 12-game slide ♪
141
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,708
♪ We're not athletes,
that's a point of pride ♪
142
00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:13,814
♪ All you need is just
one famous grad ♪
143
00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:18,389
♪ An Idina Menzel
or even one Josh Gad ♪
144
00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:21,964
♪ No more STEM classes
for this wide-eyed fool ♪
145
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:25,972
♪ Only fails and passes
when this dump becomes ♪
146
00:06:26,974 --> 00:06:30,781
♪ A magnet performing ♪
147
00:06:30,881 --> 00:06:33,219
♪ Arts ♪
148
00:06:33,219 --> 00:06:38,764
♪ School. ♪
149
00:06:38,864 --> 00:06:39,966
Aah!
150
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,570
(groans) I'm in.
151
00:06:46,012 --> 00:06:48,016
- (video game music playing)
- (cash registers ringing)
152
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:58,369
Giving all these kids
computer lab passes
153
00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:00,608
for the rest of the term
was a great idea.
154
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:02,879
Too bad we can't work
after-school hours.
155
00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:05,483
What if we say
it's midnight basketball?
156
00:07:05,584 --> 00:07:09,258
Ooh, Skinner,
who knew you were such a devil?
157
00:07:09,258 --> 00:07:11,362
Well, I learned from the best.
158
00:07:11,362 --> 00:07:13,867
- Or should I say, the worst?
- (chuckles)
159
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,107
So, how do you turn the game
dollars into real dollars?
160
00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,343
We use the Bobux
to buy cucumbers
161
00:07:18,343 --> 00:07:20,313
in the game Vegetable Crossing.
162
00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:21,750
Then brine those
into Pickle Pesos,
163
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,887
which convert ten-to-one
in Delta miles,
164
00:07:23,887 --> 00:07:25,891
then use those
to buy Panda Express gift cards,
165
00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,229
which you donate
to Amnesty International,
166
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:29,799
then you can sell
the tax credits
167
00:07:29,799 --> 00:07:32,538
for cold, hard Danish kroner.
168
00:07:32,538 --> 00:07:35,143
(speaks Danish)
169
00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:36,880
MARGE:
Now that we're finally talking,
170
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,951
there are so many things
I've been dying
171
00:07:38,951 --> 00:07:40,521
to chat with you about.
172
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:42,424
Like,
what's your favorite animal?
173
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,428
Elephant!
174
00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:47,000
And what do you want to be
when you grow up?
175
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,606
An elephant doctor.
176
00:07:49,606 --> 00:07:51,342
Aw!
177
00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:53,479
(gasps) You love me.
178
00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:55,651
Oh, Maggie!
179
00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:58,691
Uh, Marge, you're in this
game world all the time now,
180
00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:00,828
so I'm trying to dry my pants
in the microwave.
181
00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:03,667
Should I set it on "potato"
or "popcorn"?
182
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:07,675
Homie, Maggie just said
"I love you" to me.
183
00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:09,979
I never thought I'd hear it
for the first time
184
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,021
in a massively multiplayer
online roleplaying game,
185
00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:16,660
but I'll never forget it.
186
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:18,797
Wait, in this game
Maggie can talk?
187
00:08:18,797 --> 00:08:21,402
There's so many things
I've wanted to ask a baby.
188
00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:23,106
Why do you make eye contact
when you poop?
189
00:08:23,206 --> 00:08:24,909
Do you remember
when I lost you at Home Depot?
190
00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:27,648
Where do faces go
during peekaboo?
191
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,986
Maggie heart doughnut man?
192
00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:31,656
But I'm doughnut man!
193
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,426
She loves me.
She loves me!
194
00:08:33,426 --> 00:08:35,430
One of my three kids loves me!
195
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:37,902
Whee...!
196
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:39,438
(laughs)
197
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,743
Stupid art school.
198
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:42,545
(grunts)
199
00:08:42,645 --> 00:08:44,448
We're gonna have
gum-proof floors,
200
00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,751
acoustics that
make second graders
201
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:47,320
sound like sixth graders.
202
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:48,957
And the ceiling's
gonna be so high,
203
00:08:48,957 --> 00:08:52,064
our resident opera ghoul won't
bump his head on the rafters.
204
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,903
Ouch!
205
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:58,309
Seymour, where on earth
did you find the money for this?
206
00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:01,082
Um, look at
the parent donation thermometer.
207
00:09:01,182 --> 00:09:02,518
(chuckles)
208
00:09:02,618 --> 00:09:05,691
Ah, well, the thermometer
doesn't lie.
209
00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:09,599
You wanted to see me, sir?
210
00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:12,538
- We both wanted to see you.
- Martin,
211
00:09:12,538 --> 00:09:14,709
when you run a business,
as we are,
212
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:16,747
you need a product and a market
213
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,617
and a workforce
that isn't full of...
214
00:09:18,717 --> 00:09:21,690
- Jive-ass snitches.
- I'm sorry?
215
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:25,463
We've heard you're gonna sing
to your parents about this...
216
00:09:25,463 --> 00:09:27,234
victimless thing of ours.
217
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:31,342
I-I have signed a mutual
honesty compact with them.
218
00:09:31,442 --> 00:09:33,413
Oh, look, your report card.
219
00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:35,316
Beautiful little A
you've got here.
220
00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:36,787
(whimpers)
221
00:09:36,787 --> 00:09:39,425
Would be a shame
if something happened to it.
222
00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:41,228
God, no!
223
00:09:41,362 --> 00:09:43,634
You sick bastard.
224
00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:47,542
Okay, okay. I'll keep
your dirty video game secret.
225
00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:50,413
Oh, man is wolf to man.
226
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,417
(cries)
227
00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:54,488
Skinner, are you feeling this?
228
00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:58,964
I know it's insane,
but we're like a team.
229
00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:01,368
Working together,
shared interests,
230
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,972
we're more than a team.
231
00:10:02,972 --> 00:10:04,509
We're colleagues.
232
00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,245
Would you like to
put your feet up on my desk
233
00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:08,182
as we daydream about our goals?
234
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,261
(helicopter blades whirring)
235
00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:16,031
(chuckles)
236
00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:18,069
(both sigh)
237
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:24,716
And top salesperson of the day
goes to...
238
00:10:24,716 --> 00:10:27,788
Sherri, who unloaded
150 rainbow mohawks
239
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:30,160
at ten Bobux a pop.
240
00:10:30,293 --> 00:10:31,897
(cheering)
241
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,466
Couple more days like that,
242
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,370
and you're getting
the trip to Honolulu.
243
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:36,338
(gasps)
244
00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:37,440
This is new.
245
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,846
An ice cream truck.
246
00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:42,552
Wait, they're shooting
ice cream at us.
247
00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:45,123
(grunting)
248
00:10:45,223 --> 00:10:47,728
BART:
It's an ice cream drive-by. Run!
249
00:10:47,728 --> 00:10:49,431
(Milhouse panting)
250
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:52,404
Oh, no. It's a trap.
251
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,646
(Bart yells)
252
00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:58,851
Not unicorns.
253
00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:02,023
They're my second-favorite
magical horse.
254
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,935
JIMBO:
"Boblox belongs to us."
255
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,643
People, looks like
we've got ourselves a turf war.
256
00:11:11,643 --> 00:11:13,947
(grunting)
257
00:11:19,726 --> 00:11:22,197
- Bad news,
we've got competition.
- Who?
258
00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:27,240
The Sunflower gang's IP address
belongs to some place called...
259
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,612
Limitless Frontier Horizons.
260
00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:30,848
Hmm, what do you know?
261
00:11:30,848 --> 00:11:33,352
The Montessori School.
262
00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:43,439
Check out
the fancy groundskeepers.
263
00:11:43,439 --> 00:11:46,746
Those aren't groundskeepers.
They're parent volunteers.
264
00:11:46,846 --> 00:11:49,552
Pay for tuition,
then work for free.
265
00:11:49,652 --> 00:11:51,523
What a racket.
266
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,392
(grumbles)
267
00:11:53,492 --> 00:11:55,430
Good morning,
Principal Skinner.
268
00:11:55,531 --> 00:11:57,334
Hello, "kids-call-you-Sandra."
269
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,471
Um... (clears throat)
maybe you're not aware of this,
270
00:11:59,572 --> 00:12:01,810
but, uh, some of your students
have been interfering
271
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:05,450
with some of my kids', um,
independent study project.
272
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:09,324
Ooh, I'd love to help, but
our curriculum is student-led.
273
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:12,197
So if their passion is the
monetization of coding errors,
274
00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:15,203
it's part of our core belief
system that I support them.
275
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:19,044
That's, uh, progressive school
mumbo jumbo for "screw you."
276
00:12:19,144 --> 00:12:22,183
You can't tell me
you want war with us.
277
00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:25,624
Um, well, "can't"
is a word we don't use here.
278
00:12:25,624 --> 00:12:28,429
We also don't say "don't."
We just can't.
279
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,266
Are you even in charge?
280
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,203
No! I just send out emails
281
00:12:32,203 --> 00:12:34,809
trying to convince parents
there's a plan to all this.
282
00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:37,515
Oh, please come to
our silent auction next week.
283
00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:39,552
One of our dads is Drake.
284
00:12:39,652 --> 00:12:41,856
He'll emcee but not perform.
285
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,994
(sighs) That'll be all, Sandra.
286
00:12:43,994 --> 00:12:47,400
Oh, that is a really nice tower,
Truth-Anne.
287
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,404
Yeah, yeah, they're all nice.
288
00:12:49,505 --> 00:12:50,975
Let's take a walk.
289
00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:53,714
Let me show you
what I've built here.
290
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:56,185
From day one, these curiosity
seekers have been told
291
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:58,957
they can succeed at
anything they set their mind to.
292
00:12:59,057 --> 00:13:01,428
Do you think you can win
against that unbreakable,
293
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,299
unearned self-confidence?
294
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:07,107
Look, there's room in
the Boblox scam for both of us.
295
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,879
You take the gumdrop fields
and teddy bear bouncy rooms.
296
00:13:09,979 --> 00:13:12,384
We keep the penguin fun land
and the mushroom castles.
297
00:13:12,384 --> 00:13:16,358
Well, sharing is one of
the habits of the heart.
298
00:13:16,458 --> 00:13:17,795
We accept.
299
00:13:17,795 --> 00:13:20,834
(chuckles) Can you excuse us
for a moment?
300
00:13:22,972 --> 00:13:25,009
What the hell are you doing?
301
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:27,013
What? We had to make a deal.
302
00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:29,952
With only half the money,
there's no revolving stage,
303
00:13:29,952 --> 00:13:31,890
no flying wire harness system.
304
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,894
Good luck doing
Angels in America.
305
00:13:33,894 --> 00:13:35,898
We can't go to war
with these psychos.
306
00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:37,768
Their self-esteem
is off the charts.
307
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:39,104
Take the deal.
308
00:13:39,204 --> 00:13:41,342
(groans)
309
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:45,918
So, fellow lifelong learners,
do we have an understanding?
310
00:13:46,018 --> 00:13:48,657
Yes, uh, we have
an understanding.
311
00:13:48,757 --> 00:13:50,326
Understand this:
312
00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:53,466
"When you come at the king,
you best not miss."
313
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,271
(chuckles): You're going
to quote The Wire to me?
314
00:13:56,271 --> 00:14:00,179
My dad directed three episodes
in the dockyards season.
315
00:14:00,179 --> 00:14:03,085
That season was slow, and also:
316
00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:05,758
This. Is. War.
317
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,060
(groans)
318
00:14:14,307 --> 00:14:16,546
Look, we can still get
a deal with these guys.
319
00:14:16,546 --> 00:14:18,249
- Let's just go
back in there and...
- You're out.
320
00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:19,719
- What?
- You don't have the stones
321
00:14:19,719 --> 00:14:21,589
for the mohawk trade.
322
00:14:21,723 --> 00:14:23,259
You can't fire me.
323
00:14:23,259 --> 00:14:25,764
You're right, people
who are fired get a severance.
324
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,635
You get nothing.
325
00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,839
This is my grift.
I brought you in.
326
00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:31,676
It's all in the game, son.
327
00:14:31,676 --> 00:14:35,283
All in the video game game.
328
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:37,822
Those self-esteem punks
are gunning for us.
329
00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:39,992
I need a ruthless,
bloodthirsty general.
330
00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:43,600
- Milhouse, you're up.
- (spits, coughs)
331
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,506
Me? But what about Bart?
332
00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:48,142
(scoffs) He's history,
333
00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:49,946
and this school
doesn't teach history.
334
00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:52,417
Do it and you'll never
have to play dodgeball again.
335
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:55,924
And I get the pretty teacher
for fifth grade.
336
00:14:56,024 --> 00:14:59,832
- Mrs. McCarthy?
- You know who I'm talking about.
337
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,237
Mm. Ms. Tanaka.
338
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:05,944
Let's hit these sunflowers
where it hurts.
339
00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:09,384
They steal our princess tiaras,
we kill their unicorns.
340
00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:10,854
They strangle our gnomes,
341
00:15:10,854 --> 00:15:12,691
we glitter-bomb
their pumpkin patch.
342
00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:14,662
So get out there
and paint the streets
343
00:15:14,662 --> 00:15:16,900
with the blood
of tomorrow's leaders.
344
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,037
ASTRID AND FRENCH FRY:
Let's talk Boblox!
345
00:15:19,171 --> 00:15:21,543
Hey, everybody!
It's me, Astrid.
346
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,547
And it's me, French Fry!
347
00:15:23,647 --> 00:15:25,316
- Hi, Astrid.
- Hi, French Fry.
348
00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,788
Have you been seeing
all this craziness in Boblox?
349
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:29,424
It's so crazy.
350
00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:30,961
The Springfield kids
were selling mohawks,
351
00:15:31,061 --> 00:15:32,965
but so were
the Montessori Sunflower kids,
352
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,535
so they got in a gang war.
353
00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:37,440
Everyone is being so grouchy,
makes me sad.
354
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,812
Check out what happened
to the Springfield kids
355
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:41,281
at the Candyland.
356
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:44,321
I like bears,
but this one looks mean.
357
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:46,125
(growling)
358
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:48,195
- Aah!
- Ew. He was mean.
359
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,233
You are always right
about bears.
360
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,203
Don't ever rip me in half,
French Fry.
361
00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:54,842
(gasps) I would never, Astrid.
362
00:15:54,942 --> 00:15:56,746
BOTH: Online friends forever!
363
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:59,417
Oh, look, it's a fashion show.
364
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,255
I love fashion shows.
365
00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:03,827
This Nelson guy looks
so cute in a vest.
366
00:16:03,827 --> 00:16:05,229
Cutie alert!
367
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,439
Ouch. That Sunflower kid
is stabbing him.
368
00:16:10,541 --> 00:16:11,509
Stabbing's for jerks.
369
00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:13,345
The Springfield gang
is getting wiped out.
370
00:16:13,445 --> 00:16:16,418
Astrid, why are candy canes
only for Christmas?
371
00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:17,855
Great question.
372
00:16:17,955 --> 00:16:19,692
Subscribers, post your theories.
373
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:21,563
No racist stuff, you guys.
374
00:16:21,663 --> 00:16:23,432
BOTH: Bye!
375
00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:28,743
HOMER: We did it.
We made our house in Boblox.
376
00:16:29,745 --> 00:16:32,751
Aw, I wish Lisa were here, too.
377
00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:34,956
Guys, you've been
in this game so long
378
00:16:34,956 --> 00:16:36,291
that, out in the real world,
379
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:38,663
the lawn is overgrown,
Bart bought a Lexus,
380
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:41,569
and I had to go to my own
parent-teacher conference.
381
00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:45,409
Turns out I'm a joy to have in
class and I might need glasses.
382
00:16:45,409 --> 00:16:48,617
Guess what, honey.
Maggie talks in here.
383
00:16:49,484 --> 00:16:53,627
Whoa, Maggie, you're
communicating using only emojis,
384
00:16:53,627 --> 00:16:56,198
like an old person trying
to act like a teenager.
385
00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:59,605
Ha! And, Dad,
you're not at Moe's?
386
00:16:59,705 --> 00:17:01,141
Why would I be at Moe's
387
00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:03,245
when we can play volleyball
with my head?
388
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,347
(grunts)
389
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,420
- Whee!
- (laughter)
390
00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:10,661
Who would have thought that
our family would be happiest
391
00:17:10,661 --> 00:17:12,463
inside a video game?
392
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,203
HOMER:
It's heaven, and it's all
from the comfort
393
00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:18,309
of my real-life toilet.
394
00:17:22,116 --> 00:17:25,657
♪ My dream of a theater ♪
395
00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:28,329
♪ Has turned out so cool ♪
396
00:17:28,429 --> 00:17:33,339
♪ The moment has come
for my magnet ♪
397
00:17:33,339 --> 00:17:38,650
♪ Performing arts school. ♪
398
00:17:39,417 --> 00:17:41,154
We're getting butchered
everywhere!
399
00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:43,660
Good God. What about
our revenue stream?
400
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,831
They've taken it all.
401
00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,141
Hmm. I'm gonna show these kids
402
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:54,080
something
they have no idea exists:
403
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,451
the real world!
404
00:17:57,721 --> 00:17:58,723
(grunts)
405
00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,226
Ah, stupid Skinner.
406
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:01,930
I'm done trying to make money
out of nothing.
407
00:18:02,030 --> 00:18:03,934
I'm going all in on NFTs.
408
00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:05,771
(phone chimes)
409
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,814
(groans)
410
00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:13,520
(gasps) Apathetic face emoji?
411
00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:20,366
Arts school!
412
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:23,205
He's destroyed
the community wasabi garden.
413
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,176
He's heading
for the computer lab.
414
00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:27,581
What kind of nurturing is this?
415
00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:30,988
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
416
00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:33,292
Out of my way.
417
00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:35,096
Don't do this, Seymour.
418
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:36,532
Oh, I'm doing it.
419
00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:39,672
If I crush their computer lab,
we beat these psychos.
420
00:18:39,672 --> 00:18:42,845
Look at yourself. You're
about to bulldoze a school.
421
00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:45,617
They took Daddy's money...
422
00:18:45,717 --> 00:18:47,721
(engine revving)
423
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:49,357
...and I'm the daddy!
424
00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:52,731
What's happening? We're in
unchartered school territory.
425
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,434
(clucks)
426
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,271
I've spent
the best years of your life
427
00:18:56,271 --> 00:18:58,275
trying to drive you insane,
428
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,112
and now I don't want that.
429
00:19:00,112 --> 00:19:02,283
This isn't you.
You're not a psycho.
430
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:05,256
You're lame,
like unfrosted cornflakes.
431
00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:07,393
But I want to be Lucky Charms.
432
00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:10,567
It's okay. Corn Flakes
is a surprisingly good cereal.
433
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:13,172
But crushing
this kombucha academy,
434
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:15,142
that'll ruin your life.
435
00:19:15,242 --> 00:19:17,581
And being partners with you
has made me realize
436
00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:19,919
you're... a human being.
437
00:19:19,919 --> 00:19:21,154
No, I'm not.
438
00:19:21,254 --> 00:19:23,626
You are. Walk away.
439
00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:26,365
But I already rented
the costumes for Seussical.
440
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,004
It was never meant to be.
441
00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:31,174
But... Josh Gad.
442
00:19:31,274 --> 00:19:32,845
Josh Gad is not real.
443
00:19:32,845 --> 00:19:34,447
He never was.
444
00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:37,654
(sighs)
Right, of course he's not.
445
00:19:39,157 --> 00:19:42,430
(backup alarm beeping)
446
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:44,735
Maybe there's
a teachable moment here.
447
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:48,777
In a sense, the bulldozer
is Anglo-Saxon privilege.
448
00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:50,279
You're fired, Sandra.
449
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:52,316
Oh, thank you!
450
00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,755
Come on, let's head
to Krusty Burger.
451
00:19:54,755 --> 00:19:56,258
I'll buy you a shake
452
00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:58,195
and you can tell me about
your other stupid dreams
453
00:19:58,295 --> 00:19:59,598
that will never happen.
454
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,504
No, Bart, I'm done
living in a fantasy world,
455
00:20:02,604 --> 00:20:06,178
because a fantasy world
is no place to live.
456
00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:08,182
Sorry to bother you,
neighborinos, but, uh,
457
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:10,721
the newspapers have been
stacking up on your porch.
458
00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:13,793
I just thought I'd peek in
and give you a lookie-loo.
459
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:17,534
Hello?
460
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:23,813
Mm...
461
00:20:24,949 --> 00:20:26,986
(whimpers)
462
00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:29,491
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
463
00:20:29,491 --> 00:20:31,294
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
464
00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:32,931
and TOYOTA.
465
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:35,002
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
466
00:20:39,578 --> 00:20:41,783
("Way Down in the Hole" by The
Blind Boys of Alabama playing)
467
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:47,594
♪ If you walk
through the garden ♪
468
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,901
♪ You better watch your back ♪
469
00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:54,775
♪ Well, I beg your pardon ♪
470
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:58,415
♪ Walk a straight
and narrow track ♪
471
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,356
♪ If you walk with Jesus ♪
472
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:07,066
♪ He'll save your soul ♪
473
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:10,239
♪ You gotta keep the devil ♪
474
00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:13,713
♪ Down in the hole ♪
475
00:21:13,847 --> 00:21:17,120
♪ All the angels sing ♪
476
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:20,560
♪ About Jesus' mighty sword ♪
477
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:25,302
♪ And they'll shield you
with their wings ♪
478
00:21:25,436 --> 00:21:29,010
♪ Keep you close to the Lord. ♪
479
00:21:29,110 --> 00:21:31,047
Shh!
33272
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