Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,221 --> 00:00:02,867
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
2
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:05,804
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,007
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
4
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,145
It's my goldfish's birthday.
5
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,814
I should be having the time of my life,
but I'm troubled.
6
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,417
I don't think Klaus's boys
are having a very good time.
7
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,752
I know!
8
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,487
Big Ed is being a little quiet.
9
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,756
Courtney has barely touched his blunt.
10
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:28,360
And Vance hasn't thrown a single
bottle cap in my cleavage.
11
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,694
Something is off.
12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,164
I haven't had one fart
cupped and thrown at me.
13
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,099
They're just farting normals.
14
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,770
Hey, Klaus, do you think maybe
15
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,972
someone else could get a turn?
16
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,105
No way!
17
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,176
No one is touching this piñata but me!
18
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:47,579
I know it sounds crazy,
but does Klaus not know how to share?
19
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,450
Skittles!
20
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,918
Stay back! This candy is all mine!
21
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,054
We spent months planning this party,
22
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,724
and Klaus is ruining it by being Klaus!
23
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,925
Let's do the cake.
24
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,128
That's good, his boys love cake.
25
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,730
Who wants cake?!
26
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:06,865
Put away those plates.
27
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:10,735
This is just for me,
thank you very much.
28
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,005
It's my birthday and my cake.
29
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:15,340
Klaus, you're not gonna eat
this whole cake.
30
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:17,275
Oh, yeah?
31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,221
This is especially hard
because I hate confetti cake.
32
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,559
Courtney, I cannot believe
this is your favorite.
33
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,096
Don't go, boys!
34
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,233
I was just about to bring out
the bong decorating station!
35
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,502
Naw, son.
36
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,903
Uh-oh.
37
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,840
You know the boys say
"sup" when they're happy?
38
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:51,309
"Naw, son" is the exact opposite.
39
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,079
Naw, son!
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,689
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
41
00:01:59,724 --> 00:02:03,055
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
42
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,258
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
43
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:10,863
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
44
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,934
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
45
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,470
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
46
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,705
Aah!
47
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,109
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
48
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,683
Can't sleep? Me neither.
49
00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:33,752
I'm just so damn worried
about Klaus and his boys!
50
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,087
We can't sleep either.
51
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,890
We're worried that Mr. Klaus
is gonna lose his boys!
52
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,158
Did you know that
Courtney dis-invited Klaus
53
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,626
to his daughter's quinceañera?
54
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,428
I did not know that.
55
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,698
He's been so much less annoying
since his Tampa boys moved here.
56
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,901
We have to teach Klaus
the importance of sharing
57
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,369
before he loses them!
58
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:54,239
And has to bring his electronic
drums back to the house.
59
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,309
I can still hear him not keeping beat.
60
00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,718
I love how you've kept
up with your piano.
61
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,185
How long has it been?
62
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,853
600 years.
63
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,656
And I'm finally gonna
have my first recital.
64
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,191
Thing is, like all musicians,
65
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,261
I'm much better when I don't take drugs.
66
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,798
I need someone to make sure I
don't do any drugs this week.
67
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,266
I'm your man.
68
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,936
I've kept Toshi off bath
salts for almost six months.
69
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,739
That's great.
Let's celebrate this arrangement.
70
00:03:28,184 --> 00:03:30,475
No way, no drugs.
71
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,545
It's times like this I'm
glad I had Rogu install a...
72
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,347
secret zip line!
73
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,681
Aaaah!
74
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,551
Oooh.
75
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,154
Rogu procrastinate.
76
00:03:46,706 --> 00:03:50,062
Sharing turns a regular
meal into an experience.
77
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,732
With sharing, I can try a
little of Jeff's patatas bravas
78
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,200
and Francine's calamari.
79
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,203
And they can both taste my balls!
80
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,604
Dad, they're called croquettes.
81
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,874
So sharing is when you
get less of what you want
82
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:05,343
because you're a chump...
sounds pretty stupid to me.
83
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,547
Mr. Klaus, how can you not
know the value of sharing?
84
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,883
Didn't you learn this stuff
on "Sesame Street"?
85
00:04:10,885 --> 00:04:13,017
I never watched that Big Birdshit.
86
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,820
Growing up in Germany,
we had a real kids show,
87
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,289
"Gernot and Strudel."
88
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:22,026
Well, they must've done
an episode about sharing.
89
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,497
You would think so, wouldn't you?
90
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,836
Ahh, gotta drain the ol' lizard.
91
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,972
Don't touch my grub, hippies!
92
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,709
Guys, this is great!
93
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,110
All we have to do is find
94
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,312
the "sharing"
episode of his stupid show!
95
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:43,515
Easy-breezy-
tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheesy.
96
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,049
I don't know, guys.
97
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,985
Did you notice how he ominously
looked out that window
98
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,520
when we brought up the
"sharing" episode?
99
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,256
You're worried because...
he looked out a window?
100
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,592
Why do you think they make windows?
101
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,327
Stop being weird, Hayley.
102
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,129
Look at me!
103
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:59,864
I'm looking through the magic window!
104
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,601
Oh, no, now I have an ominous!
105
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,908
I know that look. Roger's jonesing.
106
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,347
What the?
107
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,754
Baby carrots?
108
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:27,025
Dr. Slippy's Lock Pick &
Switcharoo Carrots Kit.
109
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,898
Oh, God, his drums are back!
110
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,501
I thought we had more ti-i-i-ime!
111
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:40,505
Here we go, I found a clip of the
"Gernot and Strudel" show.
112
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:49,481
Es ist Zeit, die Show zu starten!
113
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,386
German Wikipedia or "Viko-pedia!"
114
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:57,055
says the show takes place
in the "magical world
115
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,191
of an old coat hanger factory."
116
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:02,194
Gernot is a worm and
the flawless leader.
117
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,729
Worm boss. Tight.
118
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,598
Next there's Kommandant
Strudel Goofel-berry.
119
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,866
A sassy hippo.
120
00:06:08,883 --> 00:06:11,136
Is there another kind?
121
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,671
Then there's a two-headed blob,
122
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,339
Uschi and Booshi.
123
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:17,209
Uschi represents the sadness
of the failed fall harvest.
124
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,078
And Booshi represents the
brief moment of happiness
125
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,214
that washes over you before death.
126
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,617
Finally there's a talking file cabinet,
Doctor Du-Du Dankers,
127
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,353
who represents the perfection
of the organizational skills
128
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,355
that every German child dreams of,
129
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,624
but nightmarishly never achieves.
130
00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:35,360
There's the episode on sharing!
131
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,763
Huh, not available for download.
132
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:42,034
That's strange. That's the one
episode you can't download.
133
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,301
Damn it!
134
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,370
Why does God love
kicking us in the dick?!
135
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:48,040
Well, if we can't download the episode,
136
00:06:48,042 --> 00:06:50,175
I guess we'll just have to...
137
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,377
perform it ourselves!
138
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,978
Well, it took three days,
139
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,249
but I'm glad we finally heard
the end of your sentence!
140
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,722
I must still be dreaming.
141
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:07,125
Gernot, is that really you?
142
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,195
Check out this insane
worm voice I came up with.
143
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,264
This is no dream, Klaus.
144
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,266
We're gonna teach you how to share!
145
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,508
No, Stan! Nuh-uh.
146
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:24,443
Oh, my God,
you guys are doing my favorite show!
147
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:29,514
It's Gernot, Uschi, Booshi,
Strudel, and Du-Du!
148
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,051
It's good to see you too, Klaus!
149
00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,053
We're here to teach you about sharing!
150
00:07:34,055 --> 00:07:35,587
Oh, don't be silly!
151
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,989
You can't start with the
big lesson of the day.
152
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,591
That's the end of the show.
153
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,993
First you have to do the opening song,
154
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,128
then the numbers jamboree,
155
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,529
the message from the legislature
156
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,397
about new government regulations,
157
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,534
the grammar gulag,
a reading of the crop yields,
158
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,537
and the time for undeserved spanking.
159
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:55,206
I can't-a believe-a what I'm a-hearing.
160
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,209
I a-guess we have to do
the whole show-a-ghetti.
161
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,811
Why are you doing an Italian accent?
162
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:04,215
I can do a-Italy or I can do Jeff.
163
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,617
Italy's good.
164
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:09,087
No, Italy is-a the best!
165
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,291
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
166
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:16,027
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
167
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,496
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
168
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,632
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
169
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,568
♪ The Ministry of
Culture has approved ♪
170
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,237
♪ Your watching of this show ♪
171
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,975
♪ If you catch your
parents with rock music ♪
172
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:33,378
♪ Let the government know ♪
173
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,715
♪ You'll work in a factory
till the day you die ♪
174
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,519
♪ Tears are for the French,
you are not allowed to cry ♪
175
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,665
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
176
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,268
♪ Children are weak and
have very small brain ♪
177
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,937
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
178
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:02,408
♪ Your body can be
trained to not feel pain ♪
179
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,278
We near the end of the show.
180
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,815
And one step closer to death's embrace.
181
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:13,418
And that means it's time
for the lesson of the day!
182
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:17,222
Strudel has had success
in the government lottery
183
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,691
and has won a potato.
184
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,093
I'm very hungry, Strudel.
185
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,095
May I share your potato?
186
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,764
A-no you cannot-a.
187
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:30,969
I'm a-greedy and I will not
a-share this potato with you.
188
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,571
Mangia!
189
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,039
I am dying.
190
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,041
And now I am dead.
191
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,177
Strudel, you Dummkopf!
192
00:09:38,179 --> 00:09:40,579
You should have shared with him!
193
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,114
Sharing is so important!
194
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:46,317
I... I understand now.
195
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,320
I feel terrible for not
sharing in the past.
196
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,990
I want to start sharing right away!
197
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,461
Water.
198
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,398
Please, Jeff,
allow me to share my water with you.
199
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,434
Drink, my boy. Drink from my bowl.
200
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,805
Lots of pulp in this water.
201
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,507
That's not pulp.
202
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,278
We've had some ups and downs,
203
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,480
but you've kept me off
drugs for three days.
204
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:19,284
And surprisingly I'm not
having any craaaviiings!
205
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:10,802
Aren't we going to keep doing the show?
206
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,204
Why? You already learned to share.
207
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,873
Oh. That's too bad.
208
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:19,611
But I guess when the show's over,
it's over.
209
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,880
Unless...
210
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:25,016
the show must go on.
211
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,960
- Uh, are we gonna talk about that?
- Talk about what?
212
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,028
You didn't notice how Klaus
looked out the window and...
213
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,830
Again with this window business!
214
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,566
Geez, Hayley, broken record much?
215
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,368
Didn't you hear him laughing like...
216
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,170
Now you're worried because he laughed?
217
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,238
He's got a great sense of humor!
218
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,641
Babe, give it a rest.
219
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:52,878
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends.
220
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,518
What's going on?
221
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,588
Ugh, the hell did I drink last night?
222
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,991
Oof, my heads...
223
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:08,927
Wait, heads?
224
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,730
I feel strange.
225
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,666
Where's the zipper?
226
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,002
I can't get this thing off!
227
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,470
Wait, I think...
228
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:21,006
We've been turned into puppets!
229
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,674
Damn it, I'm the worm.
230
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,609
At least you don't have two heads!
231
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,211
Two heads are better than one!
232
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,147
If one of them isn't a shithead!
233
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,484
Klaus! Did you do this?
234
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:35,821
I did! And I have wonderful news.
235
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,290
You're all going to keep
doing the show for me!
236
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,826
Why don't we start with
one of the episodes
237
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:43,562
about properly cleaning your butthole?
238
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,835
Smells like Sup Bud in here.
239
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:50,969
What's Sup Bud?
240
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,438
Nothing, bud, what's up with you?
241
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,239
Will you both shut up?!
242
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,374
How did you do this, Klaus?
243
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,444
Dr. Weitzman at the CIA did it.
244
00:12:58,446 --> 00:13:00,779
The CIA has puppet technology?
245
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,248
Oh, yeah,
the CIA is always installing puppets,
246
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,516
all over the globe.
247
00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:06,918
Fozzie Bear was the Shah
of Iran for seven years.
248
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,321
Klaus, we don't like being puppets!
249
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:10,789
- Really?
- Yes!
250
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,060
I'm craving a hand up my
ass in a very unnerving way.
251
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,863
And I really hate this dang worm leash.
252
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,264
Stop the complaining!
253
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,666
The "Gernot and Strudel" show
254
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,868
is the most important
thing in the world to me!
255
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,803
And if you don't
perform whenever I want,
256
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,938
I'm going to read you a list of things
257
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,674
that aren't important to me.
258
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:31,677
He's bluffing.
No one keeps a list of that.
259
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,479
Championship bull riding.
260
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:36,814
Mustard. Non-helium balloons.
261
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,017
- Stop, stop!
- Then sing!
262
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,621
♪ Gernot and Strudel ♪
263
00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:46,958
Well, I did it.
264
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,095
I got you here clean and
sober for your piano recital.
265
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,897
Thank you, Steve.
266
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,732
I think you're up.
267
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,312
I know him.
268
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,581
He's sometimes my uncle
but always my friend.
269
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,116
I feel you, dude.
270
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:14,452
He's sometimes my friend,
but always my customer.
271
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,054
Delmonico?!
272
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,789
Please tell me you're here as a friend.
273
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:19,057
I cannot.
274
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,992
It's strictly business today.
275
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,127
I delivered the piano.
276
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,328
Oh, good.
277
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,263
It's basically made out of drugs.
278
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,465
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!
279
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,468
I coated the white
piano keys with ecstasy.
280
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,470
The black keys are black tar heroin.
281
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,873
The sheet music is blotter acid paper.
282
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:38,210
The bench he's sitting on is
actually a meth suppository.
283
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,714
And the whole thing is dusted
with cocaine and ketamine.
284
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:47,619
♪ Da, da, da-da-da ♪
285
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:53,158
♪ Da, la, da-da, da-dee ♪
286
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,594
♪ Da, da, da-da ♪
287
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,634
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
288
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:06,705
♪ Da, da, da-da-da ♪
289
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,777
What? How is everybody liking this?!
290
00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:14,079
Oh, they're all my customers.
291
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:17,983
This isn't working!
292
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,185
We'll never break out of this cage!
293
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,587
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
294
00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:24,590
This is not a great situation
we find ourselves in.
295
00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:25,791
I've got this dang...
296
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:28,794
Stop complaining about your worm leash!
297
00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,929
I'm a [BLEEP] file cabinet!
298
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,731
We have a theory about
what's going on with Klaus.
299
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,801
When we re-created the show for him,
300
00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:38,937
we must have triggered
some unresolved trauma.
301
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,206
Something happened to
Klaus with this show.
302
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:45,411
And we need to get him to
share his trauma with us.
303
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:48,080
- Another type of sharing.
- Yeah.
304
00:15:48,082 --> 00:15:50,282
And maybe that'll snap him out of this.
305
00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:54,486
Whoa, babes,
I couldn't follow any of that!
306
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:56,055
- Awww.
- Come here, you!
307
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,225
Yuck.
308
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,827
It's true.
309
00:16:01,829 --> 00:16:04,630
Something terrible did happen.
310
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,698
No, I-I can't talk about it.
311
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,366
It's too painful.
312
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,567
You can do it.
313
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,704
I, this stupid worm, believe in you.
314
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:18,043
I was eight years old,
and I was in the audience
315
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:21,779
for my favorite show in the whole world.
316
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:25,451
But what started off as
the best day of my life
317
00:16:25,453 --> 00:16:26,985
became the worst.
318
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,721
I was thrilled when I
was called up onto stage
319
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:31,056
at the end of the show.
320
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,659
At the time, I had a big crush on Uschi,
321
00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,727
so of course I got an erection.
322
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,529
And when I was a child,
323
00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:39,731
I had a very sharp penis.
324
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,400
It wasn't big but it was honed,
325
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,469
like a paring knife.
326
00:16:43,471 --> 00:16:46,138
Anyways, I got a little baby boner
327
00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,540
and accidentally poked Uschi's puppeteer
328
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,941
with my tiny dagger
329
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,410
and she fell off the stage and was...
330
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,012
electrocuted.
331
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,148
Strudel and Du-Du rushed to save her.
332
00:16:56,150 --> 00:17:00,418
And they too were
immediately electrocuted.
333
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,355
As the studio filled with
the smell of burnt flesh
334
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,090
and polyester fur,
335
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:09,627
me and my for-some-reason-
still-hard baby boner
336
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:13,165
could only watch in shame.
337
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,367
Gernot was the lone survivor...
338
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:18,170
until that evening when he
shot himself in the face.
339
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:21,173
The episode was banned and never aired.
340
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:24,309
They replaced all the puppeteers
and kept making episodes,
341
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:25,977
but it was never the same.
342
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:28,180
I loved that show more than anything,
343
00:17:28,182 --> 00:17:31,449
and I was the one that destroyed it.
344
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,519
Jesus, Klaus.
345
00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:35,587
And that's why you became a fish?
346
00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:37,122
What? No.
347
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,725
That's how I became traumatized.
348
00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:43,128
But after sharing it,
I feel so much better.
349
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,196
Thank you.
350
00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:47,065
Is there anything I can do for you?
351
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,134
I guess you could let
us out of this cage.
352
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,970
And I wouldn't mind having
my worm leash removed.
353
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:56,942
Oh, baby, that's the stuff.
354
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:58,210
Oh, and also,
355
00:17:58,212 --> 00:18:00,746
I think we'd all like to
not be puppets anymore.
356
00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:01,880
Mm-hmm.
357
00:18:01,882 --> 00:18:03,148
Oh, shoot.
358
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,016
We don't have time to
get to Dr. Weitzman
359
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:06,618
before he leaves for his summer job...
360
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,955
selling clever T-shirts on
the Atlantic City boardwalk.
361
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,357
I can't be stuck being
a worm all summer!
362
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,093
I already put down my deposit
for boogie boarding camp!
363
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,428
We could get there in time
364
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,030
if we took a shortcut
through the Langley Dunes.
365
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:20,098
But how?
366
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,300
Those dunes are famously treacherous.
367
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,703
I know! My boys have badass ATVs!
368
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:26,872
Let's go!
369
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,880
I refuse to be fat shamed.
370
00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:38,716
I called it a "worm leash."
371
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,318
It was very uncomfortable.
372
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,455
You can still see the little
indent it made on my felt.
373
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:47,392
Do you really think your boys
will let us use their ATVs?
374
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,127
They seem mad at you.
375
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,196
You really don't understand
376
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,032
how truly tight I am with my boys.
377
00:18:54,074 --> 00:18:55,267
No way!
378
00:18:55,269 --> 00:18:56,734
You don't share, man.
379
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,203
Okay, maybe I didn't use to.
380
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,939
But I've learned how to share!
381
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:02,674
And I brought you something.
382
00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:03,875
- A cake?!
- A piñata?!
383
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,210
You're both right.
384
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:09,114
I brought a broken piñata
filled with old cake!
385
00:19:10,418 --> 00:19:12,550
Mmm. Sup.
386
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,751
Sup.
387
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:14,953
Sup.
388
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:16,888
Sup.
389
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,024
That means they're boys again!
390
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:21,359
Francine, I'm a worm, not an idiot.
391
00:19:36,444 --> 00:19:39,111
Oh, no... cliff.
392
00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:40,846
How are we going to get down?
393
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,648
Easy! We're puppets.
394
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:44,249
We don't have any bones!
395
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,621
Wait, I have bones!
396
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,191
Uh, waiter?
397
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,928
There's some bones in my fish.
398
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:58,997
Come on, we're so close.
399
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:00,332
Crap, forgot about the river
400
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,267
that runs through the Langley Dunes!
401
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:06,271
What a complex and exciting
ecosystem this town has!
402
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,474
But how are we gonna get across?!
403
00:20:08,476 --> 00:20:10,476
I got this!
404
00:20:10,478 --> 00:20:12,277
Everyone on my back!
405
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,961
Dr. Weitzman! We need our bodies back!
406
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:31,296
Sure thing!
407
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,132
I actually have your bodies right here!
408
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,035
Nothing gross!
409
00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:39,338
I've actually been using them as a sofa.
410
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,180
Aww, I kinda miss having two heads.
411
00:20:48,182 --> 00:20:51,049
Guys, I hate to say it,
I kinda miss the worm leash.
412
00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:53,785
I feel like we're forgetting something.
413
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:55,120
Where's Klaus?
414
00:20:55,122 --> 00:20:58,590
Waaaaaaazzzzzuuuuuupppp!
415
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,392
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
416
00:21:02,264 --> 00:21:03,995
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
30155
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
