Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪

- Ow. [bleep].

I just cut myself, but I'm not tapping out.

- It is time to make this shelter uber insulated.

Arctic winter is no joke.

♪

♪

- Holy [bleep]. I got a fire.

♪

[bleep].

♪

male narrator: In "Alone's" coldest location ever,

ten participants fight to survive the arctic.

- The arctic is one of the most

physically demanding places on Earth.

- So freakin' cold right now.

narrator: Battling sub-zero temperatures...

- This climate's harsh. It's extreme.

It's mean. It's got teeth.

- Get caught out here in a whiteout, you're in trouble.

narrator: Vicious predators...

- Just heard something big moving back there.

- Me against the wolverine right now.

narrator: And isolation.

- There's nothing to fill that void.

It's just you left alone with your thoughts.

narrator: How long will they endure?

- [grunts] - House is on fire.

- I'm scared, but I don't wanna tap.

- This is the most unforgiving landscape

I've ever seen.

narrator: The last one standing wins.

- This environment will strip away

everything and anything you thought you had.

♪

[ominous music]

♪

- Last night my shelter lit on fire.

♪

It caught some moss in a wall.

And I saw it happen and I tried to put it out

before it got too bad and I couldn't.

That was my nice closed-in fireplace.

Didn't know light before.

I knew it was a risk having the moss higher up

without having it covered in clay,

but it froze up before I could get it all done.

Man, it went quick last night.

That whole wall was engulfed.

I had to just start ripping every part of it down.

♪

Mother-eff it.

♪

I did not need to be doing this right now.

♪

I don't really have time to [bleep] around

and feel sorry for myself.

My plan is, I'm just gonna build this back

pretty much the way I had it,

but we're just not gonna use moss.

♪

This reminds me of my grandpa.

He was a tough, tough son of a bitch.

And he always told me, he said:

"Michelle, if somebody's standing in front of you

and they're causing you problems,"

he said, "You just keep swinging.

When there's nobody left in front you,"

he said, "then you can rest."

That's kind of been my motto for like,

you know, you just keep swinging every day.

Ho, that's tough work, guys.

I cut down a couple of bigger trees

with the hope I can fill in the gaps

that are gonna be left.

Hopefully, I can get clay and fill in all those spots,

and I can avoid any future fires.

♪

I knew that this would be hard.

I knew that it would be a test of my limits.

And I still came.

You gotta find that strength deep down inside ya.

Could have called it last night,

but I curled up in my sleeping bag

and hung on, you know.

[foreboding music]

♪

Having to rebuild set me back, delaying everything

and putting a real hitch in my plans.

There's still more work there to be done.

I just gotta chip away at things.

I'm having difficulties, having setbacks,

having challenges, but that's just kinda how

my life works anyway, you know.

That's nothing new for me.

♪

Nothing ever seems easy for me.

It always seems like I'm struggling

just to get ahead

and get one foot in front of the other one.

♪

Just keep swinging.

[dark music]

♪

- Last night was crazy.

Woke up, I believe I heard

a moose running around out there.

Thought long and hard about trying to get up and go out

and take a shot, but it's so noisy

trying to get out of your sleeping bag

and get your clothes on and all that.

And once it sees you,

then that would be like, "Oh, man,"

and blow up the spot.

So today, I'm gonna see where he went

and kinda follow his tracks.

♪

I need to get a moose,

because I feel like this location

provides me really only with rabbits.

Rabbits have so much protein on 'em and so little fat,

that you can eat 'em, but not get enough energy.

Fat is what you need,

and it's the stuff of life out here.

Moose has got a ton of delicious fat on it.

[foliage ruffling]

Oh, yes.

Here are these fresh tracks.

Slopping up the mud.

I believe these are the ones I heard last night.

♪

This is great.

From the looks of the tracks,

they follow this weed edge

down to this little mud bog thing here.

♪

See over there, that's why I heard him.

My shelter's right over there.

♪

Happy to see the moose so close.

Not every day you get the chance like this.

To be able to shoot a moose,

especially one when you really need it,

it's, like, really exciting.

I'm gonna go make a early warning system for moose.

♪

So when I'm sitting over there half dazed off...

I might hear him coming first.

So I took some of these cans that I found

and put some trip strings around.

♪

I wanted to put it here,

'cause I actually don't want it to bang

across the lot of rocks.

I don't want it to actually scare the moose

or startle it.

I just want it to flip over that one--clink!

And that'll be enough to alert me to get my bow ready.

Wish me luck.

[tense music]

♪

- Check my mousetraps.

No mouse.

Let's check the other one.

Come on, be a mouse. Be a mouse.

Please, please, please.

Oh!

It's set off.

Come on.

Yes!

Hello, beautiful.

Oh, my gosh. I got a mouse.

He's just frozen and squashed

like crazy, but...

I just...so grateful for this little guy.

♪

I feel strong.

I feel excited to be here still.

Overall, I feel good.

Brunch.

I feel pretty nervous.

I mean, I'm not hungry.

I've never gone to bed hungry, I never wake up hungry.

I'm gonna show you how to prepare

a blueberry mouse muffin.

You take your mouse head,

and you jam all of these blueberries in there

so that every bite literally is a blueberry.

And you don't have to taste the mouse head.

Like that.

Stay on.

[chewing]

And then after it goes down, you proceed...

[groans]

With another good dose of blueberries...

Just for the aftertaste.

Mm.

[sniffles]

♪

The mice are definitely all over this area,

but they're just small and so I'd rather be

working on bigger animals right now.

I feel like I'm actively gonna seek out

the squirrel that lives near me.

My body needs more calories and energy to be able to

walk farther to seek other animals.

♪

[squeaking]

I hear him.

I actually hear him.

[exhales]

And he's right here.

[squeaking]

[bow vibrates]

Ah.

Whoa, buddy. Whoa, buddy.

Whoa, buddy. Whoa.

[squeaking]

Oh, now.

Where are you, little guy?

♪

[squeaking continues]

♪

I see him.

♪

Hey, buddy.

[clicks tongue]

There's so many branches in the way.

♪

[bow vibrates]

Oh, I got him.

[grunting]

Freaking got him.

Sorry, buddy.

Oh. Oh, buddy.

Oh. Oh, no.

Oh.

[gloomy music]

♪

Wanna bring it back to my camp, that's for sure.

♪

I'm really grateful right now.

Really needed this.

♪

Oh, [bleep].

You gotta be kidding me.

I [bleep] stabbed myself with my arrow.

I can feel blood dripping down my leg.

- Oh, [bleep].

I can't believe I just cut myself.

My arrow jammed into my leg, ripped my pants,

and I can feel blood dripping down my leg.

[sighs]

I gotta take a look.

Gosh, okay. Here we go.

Oh, [bleep]!

Jeez.

It's freakin' deep.

Ah...that's [bleep] bad.

I gotta tend to this.

[moans]

♪

Yeah, I'll deal with the tripod first

before I tend to a flesh wound.

It looks like it needs serious care.

[groans]

Okay.

[grunts]

[inhales sharply]

I'm just gonna...

[grunts softly]

hold that on there.

Let me tie this thing...

I don't want blood all over this though, but...

just till I can get a fire going

and then be able to be warm and do this.

♪

Oh, come on, striker.

♪

Aw, man, my hands hurt.

[blows]

♪

Oh.

Thank you.

Bless you.

Oh.

[grunts]

Okay, um...

[grunts]

[bleep].

[grunts] Like a hole in my leg.

Literally, I don't know how deep it is.

♪

Ow.

I think it looks pretty clean.

It looks like blood, not dirt.

I need some butterfly bandages quite freakin' clearly.

I'm just making tons of mistakes.

Out here, you can't do that kind of stuff to yourself.

You gotta pace yourself and at the same time,

you gotta just be on it with everything.

No mistakes...

'cause the next one will send me home.

Okay, kinda sad to report...

but this is how I'm walking right now.

Little limpy.

Hi, animals. Wait for me.

I'm coming.

Like, what the hell, dude?

[suspenseful music]

♪

[chimes ringing]

♪

[birds chirping]

♪

[bow vibrates]

- Shot right over it.

♪

Haven't seen anything to hunt other than squirrel.

And I've only taken one squirrel

the entire time I've been here.

We need to get a lot more insulation

to at least bide us until the snows comes.

♪

My thought was on insulating the shelter

was I was gonna start harvesting...

some of this mossy, duffy stuff

and start placing it over the top of

these spruce bows on the shelter.

Now that it's pretty much completely covered in spruce,

that should close up some of the gaps

and give it some insulated properties.

Well, let's see how this works.

♪

[grunting]

The best part about being out here is the freedom.

This journey represents a higher level of freedom,

a simpler life...

a much more stress-free life.

In a lot of ways it's way easier

than life in the modern world.

♪

All right, all right, all right.

Yeah. Hoo.

While there will always be a need

for maintenance and upkeep...

with the exception of the door,

my shelter is essentially done.

[groans]

Yeah. Heck am I gonna do now?

[grunts]

[tense music]

♪

- Interesting thing about this island...

the wind is blowing in a direction that's suitable

to call a moose.

And you can see when they cross that whole muddy peninsula,

so if they're coming you'll know ahead of time.

♪

I made a birch bark moose call.

The moose call just imitates a female

that's ready to mate.

If you're a super avid moose hunter...

♪

Then don't be too critical.

I'm no pro, but...

[moaning]

[moaning continues]

All right, give that a few minutes now.

And head back.

♪

The crows are going crazy,

which sometimes they do when there's a bear walking around.

[crows cawing]

[can tumbles]

Oh, crap.

My early warning system.

♪

I don't see anything over there,

but I'm gonna be on my toes.

♪

[grunts]

♪

[whispers] Oh, my God.

[exciting music]

♪

♪

[bow thuds]

Damn.

♪

Estimated his distance,

shot and dropped it right between his legs.

Oh, man.

Such a downer.

♪

I'm gonna think about that one for a long time.

Everything worked as planned.

The early warning system was loud.

If I would have had two shots,

I would have gotten the moose for sure,

but you don't get two shots.

Not to mention, when I hurry, I only grabbed one arrow.

So even if I would have had time to reload,

which I may have, I did not have another arrow.

♪

I don't get to see that moose again until the show airs.

That's pretty annoying.

♪

- I was thinking last night

as I was working on the cabin into the dark,

but after this experience, depending on how long I stay...

hopefully it'll be, let's say 94 days,

that I thought it would be very amusing to get made up

"I survived 94 days alone in the arctic,

and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."

I think I'd rather have it say: "I sur-thrived,"

but I'm not sure--I'm not sure that what

I'm doing is "sur-thriving."

Truth be told, I think I'm more "surviving."

I think "sur-thriving" would involve food.

[laughs]

Yeah, food has first priority,

especially while I still have a little bit of energy left.

Feels like a good time to do the further-ranging missions.

[serene music]

It's definitely the arctic. Not fooling around here.

I mean, it's why I put so much energy

towards my shelter right away, rather than food.

But now I am hungry as hell.

♪

There's crowberries here.

I'd love to stop and pick them and have a little breakfast.

Crowberries are definitely changing.

The foliage is getting more orange-y.

And I feel like the berries are gonna be drying up,

so I'm trying to fill my gullet now.

Check it out.

Not a bad handful of crowberries.

All right, that feels like about all I can manage.

I think maybe it's because my body

actually really wants animal food.

I'm really hoping for red meat and large game.

I think that's the only real long-term sustainable strategy

for being out here.

[whispers]

♪

It's a very good sign.

Check out this path

through the reeds, out to the lake.

And then right here,

a pile of freshly chewed alder branches.

If I could get a moose,

it would turn everything around.

[whispering] This is prime moose habitat.

But I'm gonna keep looking along the shore

and see what I can see.

[suspenseful music]

♪

♪

She flew off.

♪

And I don't know where it ended up.

♪

I was getting close to my home base

and heard this flutter of wings

and, up in this little tree, flew a grouse.

I crept around closer, and I took the shot

with a broadhead.

And I totally hit her.

You can see, went right through her.

Covered in feathers, covered in blood.

She flew off and now is dying in the woods somewhere,

and I need to find her.

But hard to find a very camouflaged, wounded bird

in a landscape she is designed to blend in with.

Hope upon hope that I can find her and retrieve her,

'cause that would be such a shame and such a waste.

And the hunger is definitely starting to get to me,

'cause I am feeling a little desperate

around the food situation.

- Just shot my first spruce grouse.

The arrow went right through that entire bird.

♪

Oh, it's so hard to be so close

to having gotten a grouse.

Please...

please, please let me find you.

♪

There's so much habitat to cover.

♪

She was white and dark gray.

I'm gonna go around the edges now,

and then I'll go through the middle again.

♪

I'm pretty physically tough, and I don't give up easily,

but I'm working really hard.

I'm very active every single day.

I'm doing a lot that burns calories

and the cumulative effect of that is

burning through all of my body's stored calories.

♪

Just don't know how far a grouse can go wounded.

I know a bear can run 30 yards after

it's been shot in the heart.

[gasps] There she is.

Oh, my God. Thank God.

Oh. Oh, my God.

I found her.

♪

Oh, I want to save every piece of her.

She is so gorgeous.

[whimpers]

So grateful.

I've been--I've been coming to this whole experience

from such a good place;

from a place of just really wanting to live in

deep connection with the land.

So I've been so conscious and so prayerful

and so communicative,

but I've been starving.

[laughs]

So it is so gratifying now

to feel--to feel the reward.

[sighs] Yep.

[laughs]

I've got grouse feathers smeared in my tears.

[laughs]

Oh, God.

Hoo--wow.

What a freakin' morning!

[tranquil music]

♪

- Fishing, fishing, fishing.

Let's do some catching today. We're not just fishing.

[splashing]

[grunts]

[grunts] [bleep].

[yells]

Getting wet was not part of my fishing plan.

Well, I'm here now...

so I'm fishing.

[panting]

[grunts]

[foreboding music]

♪

Fishing is beginning to be a point of frustration.

They've definitely suddenly dropped off.

It's partially because of the spawn.

Oftentimes when fish are spawning,

they're not really interested in much else.

Not seeing a single fish swimming by, around

in the area.

No little fish, no nothing.

Still got berries to forage...

squirrels to hunt.

♪

In the last 16 days,

I've had one fish, one squirrel,

and a lot of berries.

♪

Hello, great big ol' berry hiding down there.

I think my body's getting to the point where

berries alone may not be enough.

♪

♪

I'm enjoying the experience,

but at what point is it not worth it?

Is the risk to my own body and future health

so great that I need to call it and go home?

♪

What is that point?

♪

That's long enough.

[pensive music]

♪

I'd say what's keeping me here at this point...

♪

Is my fear from going home.

My fear...to be back...

♪

In that mundane world.

Nine to fives, and punching clocks,

and being stressed out over other people's problems.

♪

Not so hard before you've tasted freedom...

♪

But definitely hard to go back into the cage

after you've flown free for a long time.

[trees whooshing]

- Ooh, it's windy and cold.

So I'm just gonna hang out in here

and eat my amazing grouse-iness.

♪

Yes. Look at that.

That, my friends,

is a good-sized piece of meat.

Wow.

And here are heart,

this is all chunks of breast meat,

this is liver, and then there is the leg.

Hoo-ray.

May this motivate me to hunt better,

so I can eat like this every day.

♪

Mm. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, that is so satisfying.

This was the tipping point,

and now I'll be bringing in the game.

And maybe now the grouse are showing up.

♪

Now that I am fully fortified

with delicious meat in my belly,

I wanna be out exploring that new area...

with my bow.

And time is a-wastin'.

[ominous music]

♪

[water whooshing]

♪

- Good morning.

[moans] Welcome to day 19.

[moans]

It is a cold morning.

And I think...going on a roam.

I'll go and see what lies past the lake.

[serene music]

With fishing not producing anything

and only so much time left that I can forage berries,

it's becoming fairly evident that I am going to have to

turn to active hunting...

♪

Packing a good load today.

Heading up the hill again.

And really need to try to get a better understanding

of my area.

Nothing I'm doing is working.

I need to find some way to procure something to eat.

♪

[domineering music]

♪

I geared up for a long run to go check out

the furthest reaches of my area,

and I don't have the energy for it.

♪

I'm basically in a battle of attrition

and a starvation game.

And I don't know if it's worth putting myself at risk.

♪

[radio beeps]

♪

Be sure, Ray.

♪

Yep.

[radio beeps]

This is Ray.

I am officially tapping out.

[solemn music]

♪

I've done all I can here.

I've enjoyed this experience.

And I wanna remember it as something to be enjoyed.

♪

Making that call was very difficult.

You feel pressure to go out

having given every last ounce,

but it was logistical.

I couldn't find enough to eat.

And the prospect of finding anything more

than what I'm getting seemed very unlikely.

So why put my body at significant risk?

I'm feeling sad about leaving,

like I've let my wife down, myself down.

I expected to be out here quite a bit longer,

and I'm feeling anxiety about going back.

This journey showed me true freedom.

That gave me a better understanding of

the modern world.

It's just like anything else. It's what you make of it.

♪

[dramatic music] - When you're pretty hungry, time goes really slowly.

So I'd really be happy to catch a fish,

but takes you all day,

and you don't get anything.

It's just more fun to snare and hunt

than to stand by the shore like a moron

for hours and hours.

But you gotta figure it out,

'cause there's only so many bunnies to snare around here.

♪

Oh, man. All these snares are empty.

♪

Might have to move 'em.

The word must have got out

that an assassin is on the loose in the area.

Even the moose are sort of on to me.

I'm mad at myself for missing the first one.

That was the big screw up on my part.

♪

[grunts]

Nature is a beauti--brutal place at times.

That's why...we're just part of it.

My dad went through so much suffering.

He had diabetes, amputated his leg.

Couple years later, they amputated his other leg.

And then he lost all the feeling in his hands.

But somehow he always--very good at maintaining,

like, a positive and super encouraging attitude

through the whole thing.

He had that joy in him up until his last breath.

So it was a lesson that

you couldn't buy with any amount of money.

[chuckles]

Hopefully, when the tragedy comes,

our imprint on the world will be enough to say that

it was--it was worth it.

♪

Nah, I should go do something more productive.

Could build, you know, like, a reindeer fence,

kind of funneling potential moose to stay

near the water.

I'm so desperate for places to hunt things,

it's worth a shot.

[grunts]

See, when you're chopping these trees down,

you don't wanna chop 'em from both sides

so they fall off.

You just wanna...

maybe hit it on this side to weaken the fibers a bit.

And then just give it one chop.

Fall it over and it'll hold like that.

We don't need to even set this one.

Here you go.

You're coming down this trail, there's a moose.

So, like, "Oh, man, trees in the way."

No big lazy moose wants

to jump around,

so there you go.

That's a start.

I don't wanna burn too much energy,

but I'll come do more.

♪

Hopefully, I get another chance.

I have that giant weight on my shoulder

all the time that I'm gonna starve.

[foreboding music]

♪

Well, couldn't sleep very well, 'cause I was thinking all night

about what I should do.

The only thing I can really do is take my snares that are

being less productive and move them into better spots.

♪

Think a lot of the snares that I have that are out

probably no longer gonna catch anything.

♪

[groans]

It's not cool.

[suspenseful music]

♪

♪

- The wind is really picking up.

I'm just so exposed right now.

I need to get the hell off of this rock.

- [groaning]

[bleep]. [moans]

- My heart's pumping so fast right now.

Just hit that moose.

Some good bubbly blood on there.

- I heard something screaming outside.

♪

I'm just gonna go out...

[animal roars] [bleep].

♪