All language subtitles for Addams Family - 1x02 - Morticia and the Psychiatrist

They're creepy
and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They're altogether ooky

The Addams family

The house is a museum

When people come to see 'em

They really are a scream

The Addams family

MAN: Neat.

Sweet.

Petite.

So get a witch 's shawl on

A broomstick
you can crawl on

We're gonna pay a call on

The Addams family

-It's unbelievable.
-Our own son.

He was always such a good boy.

Keeping to the basement,
playing with his octopus.

It's terrible.

You must do something about it.

After all, darling,
the Addams family honor.

You're right. Family honor.

Thank you, Thing.

It's worse than I thought. He's wearing it.

I don't believe it.
I want to see it with my own eyes.

-We've Iost him.
-Can I Iook, Mother?

Certainly not.
Grandmama, take her to her room.

I can't stand these weird things.

I'm gonna sit in my tree house
and watch the Iightning.

Our poor boy. Something's come over him.

What are we going to do?

Darling, I must have time to think.

After all, this isn't some boyish prank
Iike setting the house on fire.

You've spoiled the boy,
that's what you've done.

-How?
-How?

Well, what other boy
has a playroom Iike this?

I don't see any harm in a few simple toys.

You call this rack a simple toy?

Why, this is Iuxury, pure Iuxury.

And how about this battle-ax?

It was the boy's fifth birthday,

-and he was so tired of his blowgun.
-Oh, fine.

You know, my father wouldn't even
Iet me touch one of these until I was eight.

You know, I didn't become what I am
by accident.

I had upbringing Iike no other.

Like no other.

Eight years old.

And how old was he
when you gave him this Iittle toy?

That's not Pugsley's,
that's Iittle Wednesday's.

Oh, Wednesday's.
You're gonna spoil her, too, huh?

Perhaps we have been
pampering them too much.

Well, there's really nothing
to worry about.

Oh, yes, there is.

A 10-year-old boy sneaking around
in a Boy Scout uniform.

GOMEZ: Darling, there's something I
was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you.

The other afternoon I saw Pugsley playing
with a bat.

A bat? Well, that's more Iike our boy.

A baseball bat.

It's a game played outdoors. In the sun.

Oh, no.

-You know what I think?
-The boy needs help.

No, tomorrow's another day.
We'II bide our time.

-Maybe he'II come out of it.
-Perhaps you're right.

We can only hope.
Let's go upstairs to bed.

Why, thank you, Thing.

Thank heaven Thing is still normal.

Come along, darling,
I want to show you my new nightgown.

-Do you Iike it?
-Adore it.

Tish, Iet's go down to the cave.

That we save
for special occasions, bubele.

You know what you do
when you call me that.

Well, it just slipped out.
Now control yourself, Gomez.

I'II try.

Let me do that. You did mine Iast night.

That scent's beautiful.

-Buy a barrel of it.
-That's the only way it comes.

Darling, I'm sorry,

I just can't think of anything tonight
except our poor Pugsley.

I understand.

Who'd ever thought
we'd have a problem child?

I wonder if blondes do have more fun.

Watch it, Tish. Watch it!

Wonderful.

For a minute there
I thought I was going to miss.

I Iove to watch you play with these trains.
It brings out the real you.

It's not the same without Iittle Pugsley.
He's a great train wrecker.

It's a shame
to see natural talent go to waste.

Tish, would you Iike
to see me blow up three trains?

Oh, darling, you know I would.
But I have to fix your Iunch.

We're having your favorite, eye of newt.

Broiled.

Just a minute, Son. What's the hurry?

I've got things to do. I gotta go.

But you forgot to feed Aristotle.

Gomez,

have you noticed how Pugsley's
been ignoring poor Aristotle Iately?

Well, he does Iook a Iittle pale
around the tentacles.

Look at those sad eyes.

I wonder where he went in such a hurry.

Oh, I do hope he went to the mineshaft.
The dankness does things for him.

-Gomez!
-What is it?

He's out there playing with an it.

-Maybe it's a baby armadillo.
-PIease, Iet's not pretend.

We all know what it is.

It's a P-U-P-P-Y.

Lurch.

You rang?

Go get Pugsley and take him to his room.
I wanna have a talk with him.

-He's out there playing with...
-I know.

Well, maybe we could all Iearn to Iove
the Iittle P-U-P-P-Y.

Uncle Fester, go to your room.

-Come with me.
-I can't right now.

-GOMEZ: May I come in, Son?
-Just a second.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

No, I wasn't doing anything special.

Good, I thought we'd have a chat.

Maybe a Iittle difficult for you to realize,
Pugsley, but I was once a boy your age.

It is a Iittle hard to think of you at 10.

Oh, I was a typical child.

Faced with all the typical temptations.

The important thing, Pugsley,
is for a boy not to take a wrong turn.

I'II never forget when I was a boy,

I stood in front
of Bailey's department store,

admiring a display of gaudy uniforms,
mess kits,

pup tents, those fat Iittle knives.

I often wondered what would have
happened if I had tied that first knot.

Gosh, Dad, you might have ended up
as a Scoutmaster.

Boy, you're sicker than I thought.

Don't you realize that all
he's going to grow up to be is a dog?

-Oh, it went that badly, dear?
-Terrible.

He even called me "Dad."

Thank heaven
he's never called me "Mom."

First serious talk I've had with the Iad
and I botched it.

-Where did we fail, Gomez?
-Who knows?

I have it. He's still a baby.

Tonight when I tuck him in,
I'II read him something nice and soothing.

"Once upon a midnight dreary

"While I pondered, weak and weary

"Over many a quaint and curious
volume of forgotten Iore

"While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a tapping..."

Pugsley, darling, you're not Iistening.

The Raven was always
one of your favorites.

You said it made you feel so nice and cozy.

I Iike it all right.
I've just got other things on my mind.

Mother knows.

She knows when her Iittle boy is upset.

I'm not upset.

But you are, darling, you're all flushed.

Lost your Iovely pallor.

Now, why don't you put all these
strange thoughts out of your mind?

I'II get your alligator.

Oh, you poor dear.

"PIumbers, proxy solicitors,

-"psychologist, child."
-Morticia, must we?

Darling, we need help. Dr. BIack.

BIack?

Well, at Ieast he sounds friendly.

MORTICIA: 5432...

I can see she has a real problem.

It's not Mrs. Addams.

-It's his problem.
-It's our Pugsley.

What is a Pugsley?

Pugsley is our son.

Oh, a child problem.
I've got one of my own.

No wonder you two Iook so...

You should see how my wife and I
Iook some days. I'II never forget...

Just what seems to be the trouble?

Well, in the first place,

it's those terrible clothes
he's been wearing.

-Uh-huh, beatnik.
-That wouldn't be bad.

Really?

But on top of that he's suddenly attached
himself to the strangest creature.

-A girl?
-An animal.

The retreat-to-the-forest syndrome.
They all go through these things.

We never did.

Believe me,
most parents have the same problem.

Weird clothes and strange pets,
all bidding for more attention.

Well, give him a Iittle more.
Cater to his childish whims.

Cater to such outrageous behavior?

And in a few days,
you'II have your boy back again.

Well. Thank you, Doctor.

You modern psychologists certainly have
a way of getting to the heart of things.

We do, don't we?

Yes. Oh, come here, darling.

You want to see me, Mom?

Yes, I always want to see you, darling.

What's closer in this world
than a boy and his mother?

A boy and his octopus?

Maybe. Would you Iike
to help me feed CIeopatra?

I can't, Mom. I have to go up and read.

Now, now, CIeopatra.
Mind your manners, darling.

What is it you're reading, darling?

"How to Become an Eagle Scout. "

Oh, is that about an eagle
who carries off a scout?

Don't think so.

Well, read what you please, dear.

Oh, I see you have on
your Iovely neckerchief.

-May I try it on?
-Sure.

Now I have to go up and read my manual.

Keep the neckerchief, Mother,
I'II get another.

Oh, CIeopatra,
there is real tragedy in this house.

Put them back, Lurch. Doctor's orders.

We must cater to his every whim
until this phase passes.

Where did you find him?

He was out in front of the house
in that uniform,

helping an old Iady across the street.

-Aren't you gonna punish him?
-GOMEZ: For what?

The things kids get away with today.

Pugsley, that's certainly
a smart-Iooking uniform.

-Mind if I try on the hat?
-Gosh, no, Dad.

-How do I Iook?
-Sharp.

Been a Iong time since you and I
have had a real romp with the trains.

Lately we haven't had a chance
to be together much, have we?

Guess not.

Remember how we always used
to enjoy blowing up the bridge?

Today I've got dynamite under the bridge
and the water tower.

You do?

Next time she comes around,
you grab the plunger and Iet her rip.

AII right, here she comes. Got the plunger?

4, 3, 2, 1, now!

I'm sorry, Dad, I'm just not in the mood.

Morticia, I failed again.

-We've both failed.
-We've Iost touch with him.

Maybe we were thoughtless.

That summer we were too busy
to go into the bat cave with him.

Now he throws balls at them.

Dr. BIack, I'm just afraid it's an emergency.
You're going to have to come over.

But we did do as you suggested.

We have catered to his whims.

We have paid attention to him.
But it just doesn't do any good.

You have no idea the strange things
he's been bringing into this house.

You're just going to have to come over.

Dr. BIack, I'm so glad you're here.

We've been at our wits' end
over our Pugsley.

Just Iook at this mess.

I can see your problem.

Isn't this sickening?

Ghastly.

You told us to cater to him.
Well, this is the result.

Horrible.

I guess I am partly to blame,
but I think you went a Iittle too far.

Much too far.

As a matter of fact, this is the most
extreme case of over-catering

I've ever seen.

Dr. BIack, this is Pugsley's uncle, Fester.

How do you...do?

I see you've been catering
to the boy, too.

And how.

Excuse me, those things you're carrying...

I'm taking them up to Pugsley's room.

Aren't they dangerously Iarge
firecrackers for a boy?

Oh, they're not firecrackers,
they're dynamite.

Mrs. Addams, I know I'm responsible
for what's going on here,

but I'm afraid things have gotten too far
out of hand. I better take over.

I think I'II go up
and have a talk with the boy.

Very well.

It's the door at the head of the stairs,

the one with the baby vultures
painted on it.

Come on, Pugsley, Iet's have a blast,
just for old times' sake, huh?

Who is it?

BLACK: It's Dr. BIack, sonny.

Your mommy asked me
to have a Iittle chat with you.

Come in, sir.

I think you've done more than your part.
I'II take it from here.

Good Iuck.

You really Iike the way
your Uncle Fester Iooks?

Oh, sure. He Iooks fine.

I can see we're going
to have to have quite a chat.

-What's going on?
-He's up there.

-With Pugsley?
-Yes.

Oh, dear.

Maybe we shouldn't have taken
his ax away when he was a baby.

He seemed so happy chopping up things.
And it was good exercise.

Wish I knew what was going on up there.

-I'II climb up and take a Iook.
-Excellent idea.

And then we took the rope
and we put it around and around...

-How's it going?
-Oh, great.

You know, that doctor's a Iot smarter
than he Iooks.

Thank heaven. Pugsley's past the crisis.

-Doctor, is everything all right?
-Naturally.

AII that had to be done was to release
the boy's inner antagonisms.

See, Morticia? Pugsley's come through.

Magnificently.

Once again, he's the wonderful boy
you both Ioved.

Oh, thank heaven.

Now I can get rid
of all this ridiculous mess.

By all means do.
Get your house back to normal.

-Thank you so much, Doctor.
-Goodbye, Mrs. Addams.

Goodbye.

You uncles.

You pamper the children worse
than the parents do.

Here's a surprise.
It says Dr. BIack has quit.

-Quit? Why?
-Going back to school.

I think we should send him a present.

The turtle.

-Something better than that.
-Better than the turtle?

After all, he did give us our boy back.