Original subtitles

Inside.

This tired old fat piece of shit get the drop on us.

I don't know.

He's not even armed.

This bag is the only thing he had on him.

What's in there?

Can't see anything.

Here, give it to me.

Kind of.

Moron

carries a chest set with them.

What the fuck?

Doesn't make any sense.

Look at all this shit.

You're going to tell us what's the gimmick with the bag?

It's magic.

You put your hand in outcomes at present.

I don't really understand how it works either.

So.

Mr Scrooge, that's right.

Who are you?

Why next month?

You will need some.

Shone down, Lauren.

But Montana?

Perminova?

Kris Kringle?

Jolly old singing people call me a lot of things.

Very funny.

Or should I say oh, oh.

You said it.

What is your reindeer?

They were on the roof until that guy turned his on ice.

Come, Bob.

You don't believe me?

Go cheque.

Prancer left a tasty log up there.

This fucking guy.

You don't think I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud.

Come on, it's just insanity Claus with a fucking trick bag.

Ohh, that's sad.

Was full against tray.

Come on, everybody knows that Christmas trees are bullshit.

Flies to make a big deal out of it every Christmas.

Every freaking Christmas with the presents

and the candy and the decorations and the Christmas carolling

and all that bullshit.

And then when I was.

I don't know 1011?

He got laid off and that Christmas couldn't even afford a tree.

No Christmas dinner, no gifts, nothing.

Not cool or Dick.

Our neighbours, our neighbours are they had it all.

Excellent.

Your tied chair through their window, mocking me.

So Christmas Eve rolls around and.

And waiting for her body to go to bed.

Snuck in there to take it all.

My problem was that the Gramps got up to take a piss

and the two were scared the shit out of each other and.

Fell down the stairs

and broke his neck and he died in the hospital.

Everybody thought that I did, and every time I tried to tell him,

I tried to tell him that.

Anyway, maybe they did do it.

Maybe he did push him.

Well, fucker.

So you see, Christmas ruined my life.

Okay, but you know what?

It set me on the path and made me the great man

that I am today.

I'm sorry, Jimmy.

I really AM.

But I do gifts.

I do Christmas cheer.

I don't get involved in people's lives.

Ohh yeah, yeah.

Well maybe you fucking should.

Ohh.

How did you know your name?

Porn.

So your excuse?

And I guess that huffy bike you wanted back in 82 one

you wrote me a 50 times about.

Where you, Kira?

Well, you made your brother eat worms.

That's not a how does he know about my bike?

It's a lucky guess.

Like.

Hey, do you like big tits?

Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike.

You're going to tell me who you work for?

You got 5 seconds to tell me who you really are.

5432, I'm sure.

The clause.

Well, not anymore.

Snowing.

Santa magic.

Let it snow.

It's not snow, it's Styrofoam.

I told you this guy's a big foam.

Where do you go?

Went up the chimney.

I saw it.

I don't know.

He had a rag and some police system that just yanked him up.

You can't sit up there.

It's impossible when you see one weird thing

and then you think you're a fairytale coming.

We've got slaybells approaching.

Oh my God, she's right there.

The extraction team, pull yourselves together.

And that is the sound of my kill squad.

Oh oh oh you're visiting fucked now, huh?

What are you gonna do, little elf bitch.

Ohh pretty.

Yeah.

Killer baby.

When's gonna save us?

Jean Claude van Dijk should just ditched us, sweetie.

Hold your fire.

Easy, easy.

Identify yourself.

One of the hostages.

Morgan Steele.

The actor.

Play the light of soldiers in my career.

Can I just say thank you for your service?

Semper fi.

What's the situation inside bunch of ex military guys?

I gotta warn you, they know you're coming.

I think they're ready for you.

They better be.

We're on a tight schedule.

She.

Ohh.

Write this without.

Ohh.

I thought you're 10 minutes late.

What kept you?

Looks to me like your nan's got a hole in it.

Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise?

No, no, no.

We got it.

While go for running around complication and causing problems.

Lights don't.

Security.

I don't think so.

Some intruder dressed as Santa.

But I'm telling you, I'm telling you something weird

about him might be the real Santa.

The fact that she just sat there, not that she's joking.

My squad will take care of it.

Better team, go find this asshole.

Now that's gone.

Wrapped up present, shall we?

All right, you heard the man.

Time to kill Santa.

He's on the roof.

ohh

Right, sugar plum, hit that button.

Here we go.

Our skeleton key.

The open magic stick.

Better fucking work flushing my career for this.

My reputation, yeah.

Then you can buy yourself a new rap.

As a kid, I loved unwrapping Christmas presents

so much that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me.

I didn't care that nothing was inside.

Is this a fucking joke?

No.

She said it would fucking be here.

I'm telling you, my Intel was rock solid.

I had guys on the inside.

300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday to this fucking match.

Somebody must have intercepted it.

Son of a bitch.

Good.

Ohh.

See.

You know you okay.

Siri.

A bunch of new bird guys showed up there on the naughty list.

The other gadgets and their gizmos.

I'm sorry, I think this is it.

Kill.

Naughty list.

Just grows and grows.

He's in that structure, minicams on.

You make a wish this time, Santa.

Just this once.

She could have anything in this world.

What would it be?

I wish I could see Missus Claus again.

Well, how much you love her?

Then you make that wish come true.

Shoot.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ohh.

Ohh.

He said.

These guys.

They're naughty.

And what did you do to the night?

I'll give my love a call.

Yeah, give them their land.

Take that call and shove it straight there, anuses.

Yeah.

You're right outside.

These guys.

I got playful.

Ohh.

yeah

Ohh.

Right.

Where the fuck is my money?

Where's the money?

Right.

I've been a sweetheart up to now, but that's all over.

No more fucking games.

Where's the money?

I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it.

It's in the vault.

I just looked in the box

and the money been in there

and have a different expression on my face.

Possible takes days to get into that thing.

Not if we have the caves like Stone.

Dark.

They can't trust anyone these days.

I'm not sure how, but you, one of your shithead kids, moved the money.

And this upsets me.

It upsets me in a way

that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people.

Hold on.

Sorry,

what what what if you randomly shoot the only person who knows where it is?

Fuck you people.

We waited.

For the day.

Ohh.

From there.

Christmas.

That guy.

What the hell is going on?

Goodbye.

The way that.

Christmas.

Don't worry.

Ohh.

Jesus Christ.

No

child seeing Nick.

Talking.

Time.

Or something.

Sport.

Boy grade would never trust anybody.

Wasn't blood with this kind of info so.

In laws wouldn't know shit.

Which means that I can shoot her

unless you tell me where the fucking money is.

Please don't

shut up.

I swear I'll blow her brains out unless you tell me where the money went.

I did it.

Friday.

Yeah, I didn't.

I know the money.

The money.

How do you find out that we were coming?

Didn't I was stealing it.

Yeah, coincidence.

I was planning to take the money

and leave with my wife and daughter tonight and never come back here.

And then my mom would read the note with a whiskey in the morning

and know what I had done.

For years I have been telling you to stop caring about

your mother's fucking money.

And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it.

Well, it yeah,

it does sound stupid when you say it like that.

How can you do this right now?

It's disgusting.

After all that mother has given us.

Come on.

I hope everything she ever gave us,

she made damn sure we knew she had the power to take right back.

Might have.

Years grovelling to you and meanwhile.

I was destroying the only good thing in my life.

How we do it here on family therapy or doing eyes.

Yeah, enough of the sharing bullshit, alright, would you put it?

Look at this little idiot.

Hello.

That guy.

I'm coming.

You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them.

You little moron.

Shit.

You would fuck you was lying.

Back in.

Ohh.

Shit.

You're not fucking bro.

Through.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

No.

God.

Walking Dead.

yep

But.

Ohh.

No.

Have a fucking listen.

On.

Oh my God you're now kid.

I saw you guys.

None of this shit happened.

Ohh.

Alright, ready?

Hey, booby traps.

Like in the movie.

It was so funny.

Ohh.

Three or two?

Still my favour.

Just turn around and.

Close your eyes.

Maybe put your fingers in your ears and numb.

Sing Jingle Bells slow as you can.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all,

ohh how fun it is.

Murder child.

Tell us.

Body.

It's part of the Whitestone legacy.

We're horrible people.

So I get why you did what you did.

Your grandfather told me I'd never run the company because the girl doesn't have it.

Affects.

I had to snatch the reins away from him.

But the point is, a light stone takes what's theirs.

I'm proud of you, son.

All right.

Where the hell is it?

The money's from inside.

The three wise men presented him with gifts of frankincense, for.

Cold hard cash loaded up, boys.

Alright, we're securing the money.

Kill the hostages and meet us outside.

Ohh.

It's fine, Burt.

Everything's fine, OK.

Everybody get up.

It's time for a murder.

Come on, come on.

You don't wanna kill us.

You really don't.

Ohh yes I do.

I really, really, really do.

And I'm going to start with you.

Great.

You gotta kill Elena first.

The hell birds wanna squeeze him being a little shit before you die,

bertrude as they shoot him first.

What you gonna?

No, don't shoot him.

Don't shoot him first.

And don't you call him a little shit, you gold digging bitch.

Okay, I changed my mind.

Shoot the alcoholic bitch first.

Don't call my mom and

an alcoholic.

What a fucking bitch in here.

Don't.

Just like rats in a barrel.

Why don't you die with so dignity?

You.

Slapping you mother fucker.

Fucking dad.

Is he?

Is he dead?

Yeah.

Thanks, Linda.

Supposed to do something as a family for change.

Ohh.

That was from Morgan.

He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot.

Trudy.

Mummy.

Good baby.

Are you okay I will.

Come on.

Is my friend.

Santa.

What the fuck?

I can't thank you enough, Mr Claus.

Please call me Sam.

You guys should get out of here.

It's dangerous.

They took my husband and her grandmother.

Anybody know how to work these gizmos?

I think so.

I used to help with my dad.

Look at that.

Going.

Your.

Ohh.

Ohh.

what

question

Sorry.

So we let us, Mr Cross, we got this.

Guy.

He's having Mr Claus.

She's in the house.

She's OK.

She's.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Not really.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

I.

Come on.

Yeah, I'll be there.

I'll be there.

up

Come on.

You.

Ohh.

Fuck.

Ohh.

Ohh.

You're real.

You're.

Ham.

Thank you.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

The real God damn Santa Claus.

It's not your night, pal.

Ohh, I don't know, I think you're wrong.

Think my whole shitty life built up to this moment.

Because when I kill you.

This whole God damn holiday finally ends.

Whatever it takes.

Christmas dies tonight.

Ohh.

The last.

Christmas.

Does he still believe?

Ohh.

Ohh.

Oh, oh.

Ohh.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

Ohh.

This ends now.

Damn right it does.

Be careful.

Hello, Tina.

Ohh no.

You saved my daughter.

No.

She saved me.

Help.

Please help them, honey.

I don't think there's anything we can do.

Sorry for that.

Through.

I'm cold.

Ohh.

Have your golden years.

We need to keep him warm.

All the fires are going out.

We need to find something to burn.

I got an idea.

Ohh.

No, no, no, no, Jason, no reason.

I don't want you to die.

Jason, let's slow this down.

What are you doing?

More than any man should ever live.

She's pretty much dead.

What the hell is happening?

You don't need more money.

You have to get up.

I think I've used up all my Christmas magic.

Sorry.

I'm

sorry I can't give you what you asked for.

What you did?

Please don't say wake up.

Wake up.

We need to get them close to the fire.

Jason.

Just wake up.

Please.

Ohh I'm so so sorry.

This man.

This brave, brave man, whoever he was,

the real Santa he is.

I still believe in him.

Always playing with Santa.

I believe in him too.

He saved Trudy.

He saved our family.

What's realer than that?

Then maybe.

I believe him too.

So do I.

Shit,

I guess.

I guess I do too.

Fuck me.

I will leave too.

Oh my God.

You.

You were dead.

Christmas magic.

I still don't really understand.

How works?

Ohh.

Thank you.

I don't know how we can ever repay

you when you brought me back from the dead, so we'll call it even.

Even we just burned half $1,000,000.

Look.

Look.

Cocaine.

Now you show up.

Did you hear the die come back after all the works done, huh?

You know what?

I should make you guys into a Stew.

Yes.

I'm talking to you.

You prancer.

You got my sack, my spare.

You went home and you got my spare sack.

I can't stay mad at you.

Ohh.

Yeah.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Hello beautiful.

This this is goodbye.

I gotta go.

You have to.

It's Christmas Eve and there's a lot of boys and girls

on the nice list that want their presents, you know?

Thank you.

For what?

For believing in me.

Reminding me that Christmas still matters.

I still

matter.

You gave me my whole back.

Ohh.

All right, get out of here.

Chris.

Ohh sure.

No dancer, no concern fixing on.

Human.

We've got some work.

Ohh.

hi

Gone.