Original subtitles

Hey, Valley Viewers!

It's my favorite time of the year, Christmas time!

And I'm gonna tell you a story about a family,

but not just any family.

They're supervillains!

So, grab some cocoa and hang on to your candy canes,

because this is "How the Villains Stole Christmas."

It all happened one Christmas Eve,

not so long ago in Centropolis,

a city where superheroes and supervillains

roam the streets amongst ordinary people.

And where those villains strive to make

everyone's life miserable. And this night before Christmas

was no different...

All right, the sun just set!

That means it's officially Christmas Eve!

Ah, my favorite night of the year!

Yeah, because we get to steal all these great decorations to admire.

Huh?

I mean, light on fire.

We're villains. Christmas bad!

Most importantly, it's time for Onyx's annual "Ruin Christmas Challenge"!

That's right! Tonight, every villain competes

to find the best way to ruin Christmas

for this city of unsuspecting saps!

Oh, I can't wait to bah their humbugs!

Yeah, and even though I don't have my villain power yet,

I'm finally old enough to compete this year!

I can't wait to see sad people and think, "I did that!"

Aw! Look who's finally tall enough to ride the ride.

Chaos, I didn't want to do this to you,

but you leave me no choice.

He has an imaginary friend named Laura.

He eats with her, tells her jokes,

and on certain occasions, I've caught him kissing her.

Please tell me you left after the kissing.

-I wish I had.

Anyway, I am sure to win the Onyx's challenge,

because I have the kids with powers,

and you have the cute, but useless one.

Hey! Number Three is a great kid!

I'm glad I lost that coin toss!

Mom, I have the perfect idea!

The Centropolis Christmas tree lighting ceremony is tonight.

We should steal the tree before they get

-the chance to light it.

People look forward to that tree lighting all year!

Oh, that's the perfect thing to ruin.

Right up there with funerals and weddings.

Yeah.

Yeah, that is a great idea.

Imagine everyone's faces when the curtains part

to reveal their glorious holiday tree is missing.

It'll ruin Christmas for the whole city!

Okay, what are we gonna do with a 30-foot Christmas tree?

Keep it in here! This place could use a little cheer.

Our main decoration is mildew.

All right, while you're all doing your little gardening project,

Number Three and I will be kicking back, 'cause we've already

-finished our plan. -That's right, we did.

That would've been more impressive if I hadn't

watched you awkwardly practice it for six hours straight.

Every year, there is one hot ticket Christmas gift item

that every parent must have for their child, and this year,

-it's this go-kart!

Whoo-hoo!

And the best part is no one will be able to get their hands on one,

because we already cleaned out the entire stock of go-karts

from every store in town.

-Can I switch teams? -No!

Their plan is cute, but it doesn't come close

to stealing the biggest Christmas tree in the city.

Really? 'Cause I think the go-kart thing is--

Ours is better!

We'll see. May the best villain win!

Mwah-ha-ha!

Eh, don't ya mean, "Mwah-ho-ho"?

Please don't ruin this.

So while Kraniac and Number Three set out

to ruin Christmas by preventing parents

from buying their kids the must-have holiday gift,

Havoc, Surge, and Chaos were off to steal

the Centropolis Christmas tree.

And just to be clear, I'm only reading the story.

I do not endorse this kind of behavior!

Look at all these dopes!

"Oh, we have to see the tree!" Spoiler alert: It's a tree.

And she is gorgeous.

You know, maybe you should just date the tree.

At least it's real!

Perhaps your brother's right

and we're not getting what all the hype is about.

Nope, still a stupid tree.

OK, uh, Chaos,

let's grab the tree and go!

I'll make sure no one's looking.

Ew!

What do you think you're doing?

Uh, I think the real question is, what are you doing?

Shouldn't you be at the mall asking Santa for Taylor Swift tickets

and glittery eyeshadow?

It's funny, 'cause she's a tween!

Oh, look who's got jokes. Are you a supervillain

or a reject from open mic night at the Chuckle Hut?

Get lost, kid, we're busy.

Don't call me kid, my name's Savannah.

Well, whatever your name is, can I borrow your mittens

to lift this thing? I can't afford to get a splinter.

I do villain hand modeling on the side.

Pretty sad you think these would fit you.

Although, you do have dainty fingers.

And I'm not letting you get away with stealing our city's tree!

My family comes to this tree lighting every year!

You'll ruin Christmas!

Oh, from your lips to Onyx's ears.

Um, this tree is gonna be ours,

and we're not letting some yappy twerp get in our way.

That's it. I'm gonna go find a police officer.

Or maybe a superhero!

Havoc, stop her!

Don't worry, I got this, with a little holiday vocal manipulation.

Officer! I need your help!

I need my diaper changed!

What I'm trying to say is, I made a Christmas messy!

Okay, I got it!

Should I put it in the "trunk"?

Yeah, I'm starting to see why your girlfriend is imaginary.

Must feel weird to be out of uniform.

Yeah, I feel so boring and unremarkable.

Is this what it's like to be you?

Shh! You hear that?

The sound of bad parenting? Loud and clear.

No, it's the sweet sound of all these fools

desperately searching for this year's must-have gift.

And with every store comes more disappointment!

It's beautiful!

What's going on here?

You know how someone stole all the smart go-karts

that everyone wanted off the shelves?

Actually, they stole them before they hit the shelves.

I heard.

Well, this store has one left. The display model.

-So they're raffling it off. -Wait, what?

I'm buying a ton of raffle tickets.

That way, even if the elf doesn't pull mine,

I can at least give my kid a receipt with a note that says, "I tried."

Did you hear that? You forgot the display model!

No! I was lookout. You forgot the display model!

Well, part of being a lookout is to be on the lookout

for any go-karts left behind, like the display model!

Oh, I'm sorry, I was probably too distracted by you

rattling off your famous villain catchphrase:

"Is anyone coming? Is anyone coming?"

Okay, look, if we are gonna win Onyx's challenge,

we have to ruin Christmas for everyone,

which means we have to get our hands on that last go-kart,

or one kid is gonna unwrap it tomorrow morning

and have a merry Christmas. Now, are you in?

Sure. I mean, you've already ruined my childhood,

why not ruin someone else's?

You know, I think I'm starting to get

all this Christmas tree hype. Do you smell that?

The sweet scent of a freshly cut Douglas fir?

Mm, no. The sweet scent of a freshly stolen Douglas fir.

True. But you know what's even better than that?

This! It's a candle that smells like a gingerbread man!

Which I hate! With their beady raisin eyes

and scrumptious little arms and legs.

Ahh, nothing brings me more holiday cheer

than robbing everyone else of theirs.

We are definitely winning Onyx's challenge this year.

-What was that?

I bet it's a small animal.

Probably a squirrel.

Those things are shiftier than we are.

Oh! Or maybe a turtle dove. Probably two.

They come in pairs and love Christmas trees.

At least, that's what the song has led me to believe.

Can we please put a stop to the holiday songs

and figure out what's actually in this tree?

Sure, Mom. Why don't you go first?

Told ya I wasn't letting you get away with this.

Oh, it's even worse than an animal. It's a tween!

So when Savannah tried to stop the villains

from stealing the Centropolis Christmas tree by hiding inside of it,

Havoc, Surge, and Chaos got quite the surprise.

And while most people would've safely returned her to her family,

being villains, they, uh, dealt with it

in a very different way.

So this is where you nasty villains live?

Makes sense.

Hey, I know it doesn't look like much,

but at least if you trip down here,

the cockroaches will break your fall.

-What are you doing?

Taking a pic so I can text an encrypted link

to the police with a geo-pin attached.

Sorry, I don't speak chatty brat. Can you explain?

She's gonna send that picture to the cops

and tell them where our secret lair is.

Oh, no, she isn't.

Give me that phone.

Yeah, right. If my parents can't get it away from me,

you don't stand a chance.

I just need to find some reception down here.

Give it up! You're not getting out of here with that phone!

Like some kid could actually pull one over on us.

Wait, where'd she go?

We can't let a child outsmart three supervillains.

If we can hold an entire planet for ransom,

we can snatch a phone from her!

Exactly!

Wait, we held an entire planet for ransom? Where was I for that?

Oh, you blacked out in orbit.

We just let you drift for a while.

Come on, we have to find her!

-Shh!

Quiet!

I think she's back in the tree!

Oh, yup! There's your squirrel.

-Later, fools! Get her!

So, what's the plan? How do we get the last go-kart?

I just drop this raffle ticket into the bin, and we win.

Check it out. I used my alias, "Jack McWaxy."

It's from a spy novel I'm working on.

Sounds McTerrible.

And you only bought one ticket. People are buying hundreds!

It doesn't matter. I signed mine with magnetic ink.

So you can put it on the fridge next to your Evil Kittens calendar?

I just have to get that elf to put on this magnetic glove.

So that our ticket...

wins.

And then you and I ride off into the sunset.

Or however far a go-kart will take us.

Just have to find a way to get this glove on that elf.

I got it!

Son, I've never been more proud and ashamed of you at the same time.

I can't believe that elf took your bribe.

Eh. She's an elf at a go-kart raffle.

She was just happy to go home.

How do I get out of this dump?

Just give us that phone, kid! You'll never get any reception down here!

Really? You're villains, you couldn't steal a little 5G?

Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Don't you know who you're dealing with?

A bunch of idiots?

A bunch of idiots who have you cornered!

Oh. So you admit you're idiots.

No! Just him.

Stand back, or I'm using this thing!

Big whoop! That barely does anything.

Yeah. It's just a device our dad created

to temporary blind our enemies.

Uh-oh.

-Ha-ha! See ya! -Get her!

Aah! Got her!

-That's me! -Oh. Right.

Should've known by the dainty fingers!

I do not have dainty fingers!

Ooh, that was actually quite nice.

How is she beating us? We have superpowers!

Yeah? Well, then maybe it's time we use them.

Wow. I thought I screamed loud.

Well, Savannah, you got game.

But what we got, is your phone.

So much for your plan to expose us!

-Give it back!

Not until I erase any evidence of where we are.

-Who's this guy? -My dad.

He's in the military.

He's taken me to the tree lighting every year.

But this year he can't, because he's away leading training exercises.

While he's away, my mom and I still find ways to include him.

So I promised him I'd take lots of pictures.

Which is why I need my phone and that tree back!

Please.

I really miss him.

Okay, I-- I'll give you your phone back.

Just promise you won't tell anyone about this place.

-Fine.

All right, everything's deleted.

Just get her back to her mom without letting her see the way out of here.

Then you can give her her phone back. -Okay. Don't worry.

She won't see a thing.

Now, cover your eyes, and no peeking!

Phew. That was close.

Back to crushing the Christmas spirit!

You okay?

Actually, Mom, I--

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

I think we should return the tree.

Wow, that electric shock

must've really messed up your melon.

One more should fix it!

So after hearing exactly why Savannah wanted them to return the tree they stole,

Havoc had a change of heart.

Surge, not so much.

What do you mean, we need to take the tree back?

I was just thinking, it must be a real bummer

for Savannah not have her dad around on Christmas.

It kinda reminded me of when Dad missed my 13th birthday

because he was on a "business trip."

Oh!

When he battled Captain Climate on that melting iceberg.

That was my seventh birthday.

Oh, then you must mean the time

that he defeated Lava Lantern

on the edge of the volcano.

That was my tenth. But thank you

for reminding me that the least memorable thing

about my birthday is my actual birthday.

It was the year I got my superpower.

Oh.

I remember that day.

I was so excited. All I wanted was for Dad to come home

so I could show him how loud I could sonic scream.

You screamed so loud, the ceiling caved in.

You were so proud.

And those people that fell in from the street

were very impressed!

You know, as villains,

I know we're supposed to take whatever we want whenever we want,

but what if we're stealing more than a tree here?

What if we're stealing a memory

a little girl won't get to share with her dad?

-I call that a two-fer. -Mom!

Fine! I-- I-- I suppose I see your point.

Every kid deserves to have their family around in these special moments.

Even kids that aren't evil.

What about the challenge?

I mean, you really wanted to win.

All right! Savannah's gone.

Let's go show this tree to Onyx and win this thing, huh?

Are we going or not?

Man, when we win this raffle, these people are gonna hate us!

We're villains. They already hate us.

You have to ruin everything?

Okay, time for the raffle!

Whose ticket will I pull?

Will it be yours, or will it be yours?

Only fate knows who will win the amazing raffle--

Get on with it! This isn't a magic castle!

I mean, uh, fingers crossed!

And the winner is...

Jack McWaxy!

This is so unexpected!

I want to thank the city of Centropolis

and to all the little guys who've never won anything!

This is for you! Now, get the ho-ho out of my way.

Look at all these sad sacks! They can't stand that I won!

Hey, let's all give it up for Jack.

At least someone's kid'll be happy.

We may have spent hours trying to win that go-kart,

valuable hours that we could've all spent with our families

during this special holiday time,

but good for him!

What are you talking about?

You're supposed to be angry! I won the last go-kart.

Yeah, you bought, like, a hundred tickets!

It was actually 250.

I gave blood just to afford these tickets.

But it's Christmas, the season of giving.

And seeing how happy you were after you won

just makes my Christmas even better!

No!

Dad, what's going on? We went through all that work

to get the go-karts, even this last one,

and now they're saying we made their Christmas... better?

Well, I'm not sure, but I think maybe this is what they mean

when they talk about Christmas spirit.

You're right. I mean, this whole time,

we've been trying to ruin Christmas,

when we should've been trying to ruin their spirit.

But judging from this, I don't know that that's possible.

Dad, are you starting to feel it, too?

The Christmas spirit?

I think so. I think maybe this holiday

is about more than stealing gifts to ruin people's happiness.

Maybe by bringing joy to others, it could make us happy, too.

Even if it is for just one day.

Ugh! I feel so dirty!

Does this mean you're gonna turn into one of those crazy parents

who's willing to spend lots of money and do whatever it takes

to win my love through gifts?

Son, I'm feeling the spirit, I'm not an imbecile.

What's wrong, Savannah?

Aren't you excited for the tree lighting?

Not this year. Can we just go home?

Honey, I know this year is tough with Dad being away.

But we agreed we wouldn't let it ruin Christmas.

So grab your phone and get ready to send him some good pictures of the tree.

Five, four, three, two, one!

But... there's no way.

I'm glad you came around, Mom.

Hm? Well, how could I not?

That girl was so persistent and annoying.

Kinda remind me of you.

That's strange. The tree didn't light.

Did you forget to connect the power?

I just carried a 30-foot tree for five miles.

You couldn't handle the plug?

The whole point of us returning the tree

was so that Savannah could send her dad pictures of it lit up.

Mom... Can't you do something?

Fine.

Ah. All right, now we've broken every villain rule in the book,

I think we should go home.

This is the brightest tree we've ever had.

Can't believe Dad isn't here to see it.

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Dad? Dad!

I can't believe you're home!

Wait, look.

I thought you couldn't make it!

That's what I thought, too. But our Company Commander

gave us a 24-hour pass for the holiday.

Mm!

Well, looks like we won't be winning Onyx's challenge this year.

That's okay.

I mean, Onyx also has the Ruin New Year's Eve Challenge,

so maybe we can play human bowling

with the giant New Year's Eve ball?

Sounds good to me.

We can knock people into the gutters.

Merry Christmas.

You, too.

That was a pretty cool thing we did, giving that tree back.

Yeah, it was.

I have a confession to make!

I know you probably haven't noticed, but I really love Christmas,

and I don't care who knows it!

Just don't tell Dad. He'll freak.

Ho, ho, ho! Here ya go!

I gotta say, giving away stolen merchandise

feels almost as good as stealing it.

Yeah, giving the go-karts to the people

from the raffle line made me feel all warm and tingly!

That could be a rash from the elf suit.

Hey, maybe we should do this all the time.

Nah, next year, I'm expecting all these people to give us gifts.

I wrote our P.O. Box number on all the packages.

So the only reason we're doing this

is so you'll get something in return?

Son, that's what Christmas is all about.

And our villain family lived happily ever after.

Well, kind of. They're a work in progress.

Happy Holidays, everyone!