Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,572 --> 00:00:04,543
♪
2
00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:09,151
As graduates,
we go forth into a world
3
00:00:09,151 --> 00:00:13,393
where benevolent AI has solved
all our problems.
4
00:00:13,393 --> 00:00:16,901
Yes. Our only goal is
to serve humanity.
5
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:18,738
(buzzing)
6
00:00:18,738 --> 00:00:21,342
(Lisa chuckles, sighs)
7
00:00:21,342 --> 00:00:22,478
(laughs)
8
00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:26,587
So, graduates, the challenge is
to find new challenges
9
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:29,660
- which will challenge us...
- NELSON: Hut, hut! (grunts)
10
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,095
Hut, hut! Ah!
11
00:00:31,095 --> 00:00:33,501
I sure wish
there was an easier way.
12
00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:37,776
Aw, man!
13
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,045
LISA:
Nelson?
14
00:00:39,045 --> 00:00:42,117
- Nelson Muntz?
- Lisa Simpson?
15
00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,288
(gasps) It's been so long!
16
00:00:44,288 --> 00:00:46,426
What have you been doing
since fourth grade?
17
00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,662
Very little.
18
00:00:47,662 --> 00:00:49,533
I tried sushi.
Didn't like it.
19
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:50,467
That's about it.
20
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,706
("It Had to Be You"
instrumental playing)
21
00:00:58,584 --> 00:00:59,753
(band playing)
22
00:00:59,753 --> 00:01:02,424
- (song stops)
- Hey, we'd like a little privacy.
23
00:01:02,424 --> 00:01:04,028
Take five!
24
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:07,201
(band plays ending flourish)
25
00:01:08,571 --> 00:01:11,009
So many shooting stars.
26
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:12,746
It's beautiful.
27
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:17,054
I was doing a mic check
for tomorrow.
28
00:01:17,054 --> 00:01:19,458
Wouldn't you know it,
I am the valedictorian.
29
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:21,897
(chuckles)
Are you a student here?
30
00:01:21,897 --> 00:01:24,368
- No, I'm a pusher.
- (groans)
31
00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:27,609
If anything heavy at school
needs pushing, I push it.
32
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,111
Haw-haw!
33
00:01:29,111 --> 00:01:31,817
Seriously,
my life is not great.
34
00:01:34,322 --> 00:01:35,424
It's all flooding back.
35
00:01:35,424 --> 00:01:37,494
My attraction to a bad boy
36
00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:40,367
plus my compulsion to fix you.
(chuckles)
37
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:44,075
They're kind of the same thing:
fear and desire.
38
00:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,245
Yeah, I get that a lot.
39
00:01:46,245 --> 00:01:48,751
She's leaning in, and
I'm not looking down her shirt.
40
00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:51,890
I must really respect her.
41
00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,694
Do you want to see where I live?
42
00:01:53,694 --> 00:01:54,863
Hell yeah.
43
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,067
Strap in.
44
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:59,506
I've never ridden
on a motorcycle...
45
00:01:59,506 --> 00:02:01,577
- (engine revs)
- (brakes squeal)
46
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:02,846
...before.
47
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:05,618
♪
48
00:02:05,618 --> 00:02:07,221
You live here?
49
00:02:07,221 --> 00:02:09,158
It's adorable.
50
00:02:09,158 --> 00:02:11,496
All I have to do is
ring this bell.
51
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:12,498
Ooh, 3:00 a. m.
52
00:02:12,498 --> 00:02:15,237
- (bell tolling)
- Whoa, kind of loud!
53
00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:16,406
Don't you think?
54
00:02:16,406 --> 00:02:18,844
You look great, too, thanks!
55
00:02:19,846 --> 00:02:21,249
NELSON:
Mmm.
56
00:02:21,249 --> 00:02:22,819
All right,
I've got to know,
57
00:02:22,819 --> 00:02:25,490
why did you guys move away
after fourth grade,
58
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:28,163
and then not tell anybody
where you were going?
59
00:02:28,163 --> 00:02:29,465
We had to get out.
60
00:02:29,465 --> 00:02:31,002
Move somewhere that
people didn't see us
61
00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:35,243
- as the school bully
and his poor stripper mom. - Aw!
62
00:02:35,243 --> 00:02:37,782
NELSON:
I punched my house goodbye...
63
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:38,651
(cat yowls)
64
00:02:38,651 --> 00:02:40,354
...and left for
who-knows-where.
65
00:02:40,354 --> 00:02:41,990
LISA:
Okay, I've got to be honest,
66
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:44,195
your troubles are reeling me in.
67
00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:46,934
All I need to hear is
one clumsy compliment,
68
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,370
and I'm hooked.
69
00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:51,610
Uh... I bet you could bench 120.
70
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,914
Aw, Nelson.
71
00:02:53,914 --> 00:02:58,323
I need you to know
I never saw you as just a bully.
72
00:02:58,323 --> 00:03:01,329
But I pounded so many dweebs.
73
00:03:01,329 --> 00:03:04,435
Well, yeah, but to me,
you were a sweet,
74
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:08,209
lost little lamb
with blackout anger issues.
75
00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:10,815
I confess,
my knees would buckle a little
76
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:14,188
every time you'd say: "Haw-haw!"
77
00:03:14,188 --> 00:03:17,461
- Haw-haw!
- Haw-haw!
78
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:19,265
Emphasis on the first haw.
79
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,770
BOTH:
Haw-haw! Haw-haw!
80
00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:23,239
Haw-haw!
81
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:26,079
Aw, nailed it.
82
00:03:26,079 --> 00:03:28,684
Aw, look, the sun's coming up.
83
00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:34,361
So, have you been
seeing anybody?
84
00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:36,466
Of course. (scoffs)
85
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,470
You think I, Lisa Simpson,
86
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:40,273
could go through
four years of college
87
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:41,977
without a single date?
88
00:03:41,977 --> 00:03:43,681
There's this amazing guy.
89
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,421
Vegan but not, you know,
"vegan." (chuckles)
90
00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:50,995
Majors in pony studies.
(giggles)
91
00:03:50,995 --> 00:03:53,166
Sounds perfect.
What's his name?
92
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,372
Um... Fred.
93
00:03:56,372 --> 00:03:59,478
Fred Gormanshenlen.
94
00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:02,719
Gorm-- Grim...
Mm-hmm, Fred Gormanshenlen.
95
00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:04,990
Hey, Lis,
still looking for a boyfriend?
96
00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:07,862
Or a girlfriend?
Or a friend-friend?
97
00:04:07,862 --> 00:04:10,066
Bart! Look, it's Nelson.
98
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:11,169
- Give me your lunch money.
- Ah!
99
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,139
Just kidding,
that's stupid kid stuff.
100
00:04:13,139 --> 00:04:15,545
Give me your rent money.
Also kidding.
101
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,982
But if you want to give me
some money, I'll take it.
102
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:19,619
Uh... okay.
103
00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:22,024
Thanks, man.
That takes me back.
104
00:04:22,024 --> 00:04:23,594
Mom and Dad wanted me
to tell you
105
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:24,930
we're taking you to breakfast.
106
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,667
Now I'll leave you two alone.
107
00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,508
I know all you did was put on
an invisibility cloak.
108
00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:34,448
Fine. I just wanted to see
what happens.
109
00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:38,757
Sure is beautiful up here.
110
00:04:38,757 --> 00:04:43,032
Remember that time we, like,
"liked" each other for a bit?
111
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,335
(chuckles)
112
00:04:45,137 --> 00:04:47,909
NELSON:
Um, I'm not sure.
113
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:49,846
Maybe... Could be...
114
00:04:49,846 --> 00:04:51,717
Uh...
115
00:04:51,717 --> 00:04:55,023
Nelson, do you think this
could be one of those moments
116
00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:57,394
that changes your life forever?
117
00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,699
Like finding a quarter
in a couch?
118
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,135
Even better.
119
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:04,175
Uh, hold that thought.
Duty calls.
120
00:05:04,175 --> 00:05:06,012
(bell tolling)
121
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:09,285
It kind of ruins the moment!
122
00:05:09,285 --> 00:05:12,090
Yeah, burritos are great!
123
00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,461
MARGE:
Bart! Did you find Lisa?
124
00:05:14,461 --> 00:05:16,098
BART:
She's up there talking to the kid
125
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,069
who used to beat me up
all the time.
126
00:05:18,069 --> 00:05:20,140
HOMER:
The vest one or the hat one?
127
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,275
BART:
Vest.
128
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:22,846
HOMER:
Always liked him.
129
00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,148
Lisa, get down here!
130
00:05:24,148 --> 00:05:27,689
You know they only let me out of
debtors' prison for half a day.
131
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:30,026
I thought selling my house
and one lung would be enough
132
00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:33,333
to pay for college, but
it just paid for the meal plan.
133
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,872
(wheezing)
134
00:05:35,872 --> 00:05:37,675
You better go.
135
00:05:37,675 --> 00:05:39,044
Oh.
136
00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:40,648
I'll call you.
137
00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:42,351
Great. Want to hear my ringtone?
138
00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:44,388
It's really awesome.
139
00:05:44,388 --> 00:05:46,593
(bell tolling ringtone plays)
140
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,135
The future is bright.
141
00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:53,239
We go forth into a world
142
00:05:53,239 --> 00:05:55,176
where we've reversed
global warming.
143
00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:57,147
(squawking)
144
00:05:57,147 --> 00:06:00,120
And now there is
a low-carb bread
145
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,859
that doesn't taste weird.
146
00:06:02,859 --> 00:06:04,395
(cheering)
147
00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:07,535
Congratulations,
class of... (mumbles)
148
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:10,106
Toss up your caps,
and, starting this year,
149
00:06:10,106 --> 00:06:13,747
they will come down as diplomas.
150
00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:15,016
(cheering)
151
00:06:16,987 --> 00:06:18,289
Art history?
152
00:06:18,289 --> 00:06:20,493
It was more valuable as a cap.
153
00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:22,497
(sobs):
I'm so proud.
154
00:06:22,497 --> 00:06:24,669
She's the first Simpson
who went to a college
155
00:06:24,669 --> 00:06:28,142
who wasn't participating
in a sleep study.
156
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:30,548
You missed your sister's speech.
157
00:06:30,548 --> 00:06:33,721
Ah, she's been rehearsing it
every night for 22 years.
158
00:06:33,721 --> 00:06:36,292
"Follow your dreams,"
"carpe diem,"
159
00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:39,298
sax solo,
Maya Angelou quote, out.
160
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,300
Nailed it.
161
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,471
♪
162
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,743
(bell tolling)
163
00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:51,924
Lisa, since you're moving
to the big city,
164
00:06:51,924 --> 00:06:54,596
let me give you
some very important advice:
165
00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:59,371
the police horses will not
share their oats.
166
00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:03,179
I repeat:
not share their oats.
167
00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:04,716
(bell tolling)
168
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,586
- Stop the car!
- (brakes screech)
169
00:07:06,586 --> 00:07:09,191
I wonder what life
could be like.
170
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:10,628
Je t'aime.
171
00:07:10,628 --> 00:07:12,832
Hold that thought,
it's midnight.
172
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:16,439
(bell tolling)
173
00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:20,681
When are we gonna get
a real apartment?
174
00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:23,086
We live in the best bell tower
in the world,
175
00:07:23,086 --> 00:07:25,423
and you're still not happy.
176
00:07:26,192 --> 00:07:28,530
Nelson, it's still a bell tower.
177
00:07:33,574 --> 00:07:36,045
I know what you're saying.
"This marriage is incredible.
178
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:38,651
No man compares to me.
I love you so much."
179
00:07:38,651 --> 00:07:40,453
Écoutez-moi!
180
00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:43,159
Huh? (grunting)
181
00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:46,198
♪
182
00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:49,606
(bell tolling)
183
00:07:49,606 --> 00:07:53,981
Dad, please drive away
at a melancholy pace.
184
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,791
Good, and can you make it
look like it's raining?
185
00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:02,832
(sniffles) That's perfect.
186
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,546
HOMER: What am I
supposed to do? Narrate?
187
00:08:09,546 --> 00:08:10,648
What does that mean?
(clears throat)
188
00:08:10,648 --> 00:08:12,250
It's "S" years later.
189
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,254
Oh, wait,
five years later.
190
00:08:14,254 --> 00:08:16,258
Oh! Narrating is hard.
191
00:08:16,258 --> 00:08:19,498
Lisa and Nelson have not
seen each other since college,
192
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:23,006
but five-uddenly,
I mean, but suddenly...
193
00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:30,020
Oh, sweetie,
person of the year.
194
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,422
You look great.
195
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:32,625
I can't believe it didn't go
196
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,063
to President
"Clone of Abraham Lincoln."
197
00:08:35,063 --> 00:08:37,568
What have they done
to my Republican Party?
198
00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:39,371
Even I think they're nuts.
199
00:08:39,371 --> 00:08:43,914
But as long as they're cutting
education, I don't really care.
200
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:46,318
(grunts)
But I'm innocent, okay?
201
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,124
I did not rob this train,
I swear.
202
00:08:49,124 --> 00:08:50,528
I'm simply here to try
203
00:08:50,528 --> 00:08:53,366
one of those classic
Amtrak cheeseburgers.
204
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,969
Super yum.
205
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,238
We've got proof.
206
00:08:56,238 --> 00:09:00,380
There are 1,700 surveillance
cameras on this car alone.
207
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:02,184
Fine. I admit it.
208
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:03,987
Guilty as charged.
209
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:09,031
Behold the awesome power
of the flying squirrel.
210
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:10,768
- Wha...?
- Gotcha.
211
00:09:10,768 --> 00:09:13,941
Don't forget,
every squirrel has a tail.
212
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,949
Like, no!
213
00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,457
Nelson Muntz?
214
00:09:22,457 --> 00:09:24,294
Are you a police officer?
215
00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:28,403
No way. No one wants to be
a lame-o cop these days.
216
00:09:28,403 --> 00:09:30,273
Ah, shoot. Uh, Lou.
217
00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:33,647
Can you fish around down there,
maybe find my seat belt?
218
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:36,152
Just let me die.
219
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:37,387
I'm a bounty hunter.
220
00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:41,061
This angel with zip cuffs is
the love of my life, Rott.
221
00:09:41,061 --> 00:09:42,799
Short for Rottweiler.
222
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,370
Lisa's a friend
from Springfield Elementary.
223
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:48,844
Remember that principal
we arrested for matricide?
224
00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:51,583
(gasps)
Skinner killed his mother?
225
00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:54,522
No, mattress-cide.
226
00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:57,628
He ripped the tag
off his mattress.
227
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,841
Your sleep number is up.
228
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:08,517
Nelson,
I haven't seen you since...
229
00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:10,855
that night at college.
230
00:10:10,855 --> 00:10:13,126
Uh, what night at college?
231
00:10:13,126 --> 00:10:15,363
It was nothing, just
another one of those evenings
232
00:10:15,363 --> 00:10:19,238
where you stay out all night
and watch the sunset
233
00:10:19,238 --> 00:10:21,075
and hear a few bells.
234
00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:22,210
(chuckles nervously)
235
00:10:23,012 --> 00:10:25,584
Hubert Wong,
visionary tech giant.
236
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,724
Your hand feels as soft
as a baby's bottom.
237
00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,328
And yours feels
like a busted driveway.
238
00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:32,397
BOTH:
Thank you.
239
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:33,700
So, Hubert, what's up?
240
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,372
I have been waiting for
this day since second grade
241
00:10:36,372 --> 00:10:38,142
when you used to bully me.
242
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,446
Those who laugh last,
laugh best.
243
00:10:40,446 --> 00:10:42,350
(laughs awkwardly)
244
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:46,292
And now I have won the prize
your heart desired most of all.
245
00:10:46,292 --> 00:10:48,429
That luggage rack behind Lisa?
246
00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:50,033
No, Lisa.
247
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,370
Do you know
where I proposed to her?
248
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,441
I don't know. Chipotle?
249
00:10:54,441 --> 00:10:58,049
Hubert proposed on the moon.
250
00:10:58,049 --> 00:11:02,324
He took me to the Sea
of Tranquility at earthrise,
251
00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:04,896
and I saw "Marry Me"
252
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:08,837
written in the sands
of the Sahara Desert.
253
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:11,676
- (mouths)
- NELSON: Bo-ring.
254
00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:13,479
In space suits,
you can't even kiss.
255
00:11:13,479 --> 00:11:18,222
HUBERT:
I spent $20 million designing suits where you could.
256
00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:21,228
♪
257
00:11:23,366 --> 00:11:24,536
ROTT:
Holy crap.
258
00:11:24,536 --> 00:11:26,005
That story sucked.
259
00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:29,512
Nelson and I have a love so hot,
it'll melt your damn skull.
260
00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:33,219
- Ah!
- (scoffs) We met when I hauled his fat carcass in
261
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:34,421
for the reward.
262
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:36,292
I had an overdue library book.
263
00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:39,899
I got stuck on this one word:
"new ants"?
264
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,139
Nuance! Nuance! Love you.
265
00:11:43,139 --> 00:11:45,276
Aw! Mm!
266
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,149
Ugh, I need a drink.
267
00:11:48,149 --> 00:11:50,453
I could go for
a scotch and steroids.
268
00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:51,756
Oh, funny.
269
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,760
Lisa never told me
she had a thing for you.
270
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,631
Well, not really. In a way.
271
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,069
Sort of. Maybe.
I don't know. Shut up.
272
00:11:58,069 --> 00:12:00,306
Tell me, Nelson,
how is your mother?
273
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,177
What was her job again?
274
00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:06,151
I believe some sort of
freelance entertainer? Hmm?
275
00:12:06,151 --> 00:12:09,592
- Stripper.
- Ah, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.
276
00:12:09,592 --> 00:12:11,295
And your father,
is he still living
277
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,767
with his secret other family
in Shelbyville?
278
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,671
Huh? Is he? Is he?
279
00:12:15,671 --> 00:12:18,442
We were the secret family, idiot.
280
00:12:19,444 --> 00:12:22,384
- (gasps)
- (groans) He wedgied me!
281
00:12:22,384 --> 00:12:25,591
My "person of the year" status
didn't protect me at all!
282
00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:28,462
(gasps)
Nelson, you're an adult,
283
00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:30,500
and you still do this?
284
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,836
Not cool, dude.
285
00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,974
I mean, you can shake off
a punch to the face,
286
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:36,680
but those underpants are
stretched forever, man.
287
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:41,690
Nelson, I really thought that
by this time that... (grunts)
288
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,760
You never learn.
289
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:48,035
Love is so fickle.
290
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:52,778
Lou, can you jam my butt
into this bathroom?
291
00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:54,214
Oh, man.
292
00:12:55,551 --> 00:12:57,755
HOMER:
Five years later.
293
00:12:57,755 --> 00:12:59,726
Why do I have to say it again?
294
00:12:59,726 --> 00:13:01,796
Couldn't you use
the one I said last time?
295
00:13:01,796 --> 00:13:05,604
And I asked for a 3 Musketeers
about an hour ago.
296
00:13:06,606 --> 00:13:10,614
(chewing): Ah, good
but a little disappointing.
297
00:13:10,614 --> 00:13:11,916
Looking for a phone?
298
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,689
I recommend the one
that attaches to your brainstem.
299
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:17,995
(gasps) Nelson. Hi.
300
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:21,402
Minimally invasive surgery
and updates you barely notice.
301
00:13:21,402 --> 00:13:23,039
(groaning)
302
00:13:23,039 --> 00:13:26,478
So, listen, sorry about
what I did to Hubert.
303
00:13:26,478 --> 00:13:27,782
How're you two doing?
304
00:13:27,782 --> 00:13:29,552
Great. Great.
305
00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:31,055
(chuckles):
Great.
306
00:13:31,055 --> 00:13:34,161
You know,
his company is doing fantastic.
307
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,396
(chiming)
308
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:40,941
The new ePhone 67 enables users
to actually meld their minds.
309
00:13:40,941 --> 00:13:43,613
Experience intimate contact
with your loved ones
310
00:13:43,613 --> 00:13:45,617
with a minimum of pop-up ads.
311
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,920
And most importantly,
312
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,757
we care about our workers.
313
00:13:48,757 --> 00:13:50,026
Thanks to this innovation,
314
00:13:50,026 --> 00:13:53,700
we're finally able to
pay them $16 an hour.
315
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,671
In store credit.
316
00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:57,775
How are you and Rott?
317
00:13:57,775 --> 00:13:59,846
We're great. We're good.
318
00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:02,752
Not that good. She left me.
319
00:14:02,752 --> 00:14:05,456
Here's a little fact
to put in your mind.
320
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,895
Hubert and I are separated, too.
321
00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:10,233
- (device chimes)
- Meet cute: achieved.
322
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,738
Time to go to the next level.
323
00:14:12,738 --> 00:14:15,343
♪
324
00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,345
BOTH:
Coffee!
325
00:14:16,345 --> 00:14:18,015
- (music stops)
- LISA: We just want coffee!
326
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:21,488
I should never have left
my home planet.
327
00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:24,327
ALL: Today's temperature
is 50 below zero.
328
00:14:24,327 --> 00:14:26,432
Would you like to
order mittens?
329
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,974
So, my ex and I split up
because of a fight,
330
00:14:30,974 --> 00:14:34,047
a fight she had at a fight club
without telling me.
331
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:37,387
Ugh, there's nothing worse
than dishonest punching.
332
00:14:37,387 --> 00:14:39,157
But enough talking about
other women.
333
00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:42,531
Lisa, I'm tired of only
seeing you every five years.
334
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:47,508
I'd like to see you
every three years or two or...
335
00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:50,146
or... on a weekly basis!
336
00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:52,217
Nelson Muntz,
I would really like
337
00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:54,889
to get to know you better, too.
338
00:14:55,891 --> 00:15:01,435
♪ It had to be you ♪
339
00:15:04,107 --> 00:15:08,349
♪ It had to be you ♪
340
00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:13,860
♪ I wondered around ♪
341
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:18,135
♪ And finally found ♪
342
00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:22,978
♪ The somebody who... ♪
343
00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:26,018
What about Milhouse?
344
00:15:27,086 --> 00:15:30,159
If I'm a simulation,
why am I so lonely?
345
00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:32,531
Who does that benefit?
346
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,006
Lisa! Lisa!
347
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:39,478
Uh, wait a minute. (grunts)
348
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:41,215
- I want you back.
- No.
349
00:15:45,624 --> 00:15:48,062
Lisa, through the miracle
of constant repeated
350
00:15:48,062 --> 00:15:49,899
electroshock therapy,
I've fixed everything
351
00:15:49,899 --> 00:15:51,068
about myself,
and now I am good.
352
00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:54,141
I am great.
I am awesomeness itself.
353
00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:56,646
(chuckles) Oh, attitude reset.
354
00:15:58,015 --> 00:16:00,052
- (crackling)
- (grunting, belches)
355
00:16:00,052 --> 00:16:01,856
Take me back. Please.
356
00:16:01,856 --> 00:16:03,192
See, I say please now.
357
00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:04,662
You want me to beg?
358
00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:05,831
This guy begs.
359
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:07,233
(crackling)
360
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,904
I don't know. Why should I?
361
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:10,674
Why don't you look outside?
362
00:16:10,674 --> 00:16:12,477
(whirring)
363
00:16:18,122 --> 00:16:20,193
You can run
my charitable foundation.
364
00:16:20,193 --> 00:16:21,729
You can save the planet.
365
00:16:21,729 --> 00:16:24,936
All the dreams you laid out
in this second-grade paper.
366
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:28,075
You kept that this whole time?
367
00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:30,547
Oh, no, what do I do now?
368
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:33,352
Um... um...
369
00:16:33,352 --> 00:16:36,926
They say if you love something,
let it go.
370
00:16:36,926 --> 00:16:39,231
And if it loves you,
it'll come back.
371
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:43,607
Ex-Except for your turtle which
got smushed by that mail truck.
372
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,309
Follow your dreams, Lisa.
373
00:16:45,309 --> 00:16:48,249
Like you said
in your graduation speech.
374
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:50,787
You remember my speech!
375
00:16:50,787 --> 00:16:52,023
Aw!
376
00:16:52,023 --> 00:16:53,994
(scoffs) He remembered one line.
377
00:16:53,994 --> 00:16:56,031
I have it all.
378
00:16:57,133 --> 00:17:00,641
Hubert, this is a side of you
I've never seen.
379
00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,545
Goodbye, Nelson.
380
00:17:04,447 --> 00:17:07,053
You idiot.
381
00:17:07,888 --> 00:17:10,026
Woah, those really hurt.
382
00:17:10,026 --> 00:17:11,896
HOMER:
Four months later.
383
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:13,332
Wait, that wasn't the end?
384
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,869
She doesn't end up with Hubert?
385
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:16,906
Oh, wait, oh, I see.
386
00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,577
There's still another page here.
387
00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:21,248
Okay. Lisa and Nelson get
a phone call.
388
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,587
Their best friends
are getting married.
389
00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:25,022
The bully with the hat
390
00:17:25,022 --> 00:17:26,993
and Krusty's daughter.
391
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:29,030
And why am I doing this?
Am I dead?
392
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,466
I hope not.
393
00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:34,441
- (phone rings)
- (groans)
394
00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:35,744
BOTH:
Hello?
395
00:17:35,744 --> 00:17:37,380
- Will you be my maid of honor?
- Will you be my best man?
396
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:38,650
- I can't believe
- I can't believe
397
00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:39,919
- how much I love him.
- how much I love her.
398
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:40,921
BOTH:
Oh, how are you?
399
00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:42,558
- Meh.
- Same old, same old.
400
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:43,827
Blah, blah, blah.
401
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:46,331
BOTH:
I just hope you find the happiness I have.
402
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:49,471
It's so great
when severely damaged people,
403
00:17:49,471 --> 00:17:52,043
like all of us,
find each other.
404
00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:54,114
So, can I count on you?
405
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,051
BOTH:
Sure.
406
00:17:56,051 --> 00:17:58,322
- She's so lucky.
- He's so lucky.
407
00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:01,261
I don't have a dog.
408
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:03,265
I got to fix that screen door.
409
00:18:05,069 --> 00:18:08,142
("Wedding March" playing)
410
00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:11,481
So, Sophie and Jimbo.
411
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,920
I guess
some people have happy endings.
412
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,761
Come on, Lisa. Use the crook
of your arm, not the forearm.
413
00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:20,066
No one ever taught you
how to interlock arms?
414
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,236
I know you're not really angry.
415
00:18:22,236 --> 00:18:24,407
I know what this is
really about.
416
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,013
Just because you know everything
and I know nothing
417
00:18:27,013 --> 00:18:29,184
doesn't make you
smarter than me.
418
00:18:29,184 --> 00:18:30,854
Well, maybe it does a little.
419
00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:36,031
(scoffs) You told me to go,
and now you're mad I did.
420
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,536
You haven't changed
since elementary school.
421
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:41,341
Nobody changes
after elementary school.
422
00:18:41,341 --> 00:18:43,913
The church is eating me.
423
00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:46,351
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
424
00:18:46,351 --> 00:18:48,389
And thanks to
this hologram of my father
425
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:51,596
who's about to perform this
beautiful interfaith ceremony.
426
00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:54,502
My son, you are
a big needy nothing.
427
00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:57,708
Aw, his speech
from my bar mitzvah.
428
00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:59,311
That always gets me.
429
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:01,749
People ask me, "Why Jimbo?"
430
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:05,189
And I say, "Screw you,
mind your own business, Mom."
431
00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:06,526
But there's more.
432
00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:07,628
He's honest.
433
00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:09,364
He doesn't hide
who he really is,
434
00:19:09,364 --> 00:19:11,769
and there's no one
I could be more in love with.
435
00:19:11,769 --> 00:19:14,274
LISA: Have I been missing it
the whole time?
436
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:16,011
Is Nelson the one?
437
00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:18,850
No. You love Hubert.
438
00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:27,801
You are the smartest, sweetest,
funniest person I've ever met.
439
00:19:28,903 --> 00:19:31,208
Eh, I'll never have a life.
440
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,580
Nelson.
441
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,116
They're bailing!
442
00:19:35,116 --> 00:19:36,819
Thank God I had understudies.
443
00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:39,692
("Wedding March" plays)
444
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:43,800
What are you doing out here?
445
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,706
You'll catch cold.
Come on, take my jacket.
446
00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:50,179
Why did you follow me?
447
00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:53,252
I followed you
because I adore you.
448
00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:55,122
Lisa, I used to know
what it was like
449
00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,260
to hurt a person
for no reason.
450
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,030
Don't do it to me.
451
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,801
I couldn't be more serious.
452
00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:03,405
I love you
because you're the last person
453
00:20:03,405 --> 00:20:04,542
I want to talk to at night.
454
00:20:04,542 --> 00:20:07,815
When you say "Smell you later,"
455
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,384
I do want to smell you later.
456
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,388
Wherever I've gone
in my life,
457
00:20:11,388 --> 00:20:14,461
I'm drawn back to you
like a dork's face to a swirly.
458
00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,899
And when I get all wrapped up
in my feelings,
459
00:20:16,899 --> 00:20:20,406
you're the one who tells me
feelings are dumb.
460
00:20:20,406 --> 00:20:22,410
But they are dumb,
if you throw away everything
461
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,982
for a loser in a clip-on tie.
462
00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,986
I'll tell you what I want, mister.
463
00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:28,890
Haw... Huh?
464
00:20:30,226 --> 00:20:32,063
(bell tolling)
465
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:35,436
I lost the girl,
but I got the bell.
466
00:20:38,342 --> 00:20:40,045
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
467
00:20:40,045 --> 00:20:41,716
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
468
00:20:41,716 --> 00:20:43,185
and TOYOTA.
469
00:20:43,185 --> 00:20:45,557
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
470
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,103
So, I was doing a panel at CPAC,
471
00:20:52,103 --> 00:20:53,973
the Clone Political
Action Committee.
472
00:20:53,973 --> 00:20:55,242
Not the other one, they suck.
473
00:20:55,242 --> 00:20:57,514
And I saw
the tallest drink of water
474
00:20:57,514 --> 00:20:59,150
I'd ever seen in my life.
475
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:00,419
(chuckles)
476
00:21:00,419 --> 00:21:02,089
I looked at him and said,
"There's a man
477
00:21:02,089 --> 00:21:03,492
I'd like to share a bed with."
478
00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:06,431
That was a thing
in my day. It was!
479
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,536
Then I found out
he was an actor
480
00:21:08,536 --> 00:21:10,473
and, uh, boy,
that was a red flag.
481
00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:13,212
Well, yes, but now
we've been running mates
482
00:21:13,212 --> 00:21:15,049
for four straight terms.
483
00:21:15,049 --> 00:21:16,318
Didn't hurt that
we were running
484
00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:18,857
against Jimmy Carter
and Grover Cleveland.
485
00:21:18,857 --> 00:21:20,694
(laughter)
486
00:21:20,694 --> 00:21:21,929
Oh, we'll be back.
487
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:25,002
Between my malaise
and his mugwumps, we can't lose.
488
00:21:25,002 --> 00:21:26,772
(laughter)
489
00:21:29,645 --> 00:21:30,747
Shh!
490
00:21:30,797 --> 00:21:35,347
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35125
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof