All language subtitles for The L Word Generation Q s03e03 Quiz Show.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian Download
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004 pulsing,�energetic�music 2 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:05,735 [Dani] How'd�it�go�with�Nat? 3 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:08,425 Did�she�give�us�permission to�live�together? 4 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,676 She�didn't�say�no. 5 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,468 She�just�said�she�wants�to know�you�better. 6 00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:12,803 Are�you�dating�me�or�her? 7 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:13,930 Oh,�my.�Daniela... 8 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,764 I�think�I'm�gonna�go back�to�school. 9 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,808 [Sophie] I�mean,�wow,�that's�incredible. 10 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,351 [Angie] Are�you�breaking�up�with�me? 11 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:22,063 Worst�first�night of�college�ever. 12 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,689 [Kayla] � I�mean,�you're�single and�in�L.A. 13 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,941 Ooh. 14 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,819 This�could�be,�like, my�ho�phase. 15 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,571 [Shane] � You�and�me, let's�open�that�second�bar. 16 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,407 I'll�do�anything�with�you. 17 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:35,452 Oh,�no. You've�got�the�itch. 18 00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:36,535 What�itch? 19 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:37,619 [Alice] Things�get�too�real, 20 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,122 you�get�restless, 21 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,374 and�then�you�start�to, like,�wiggle. 22 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,499 Please.�I�don't�wiggle. 23 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,500 I�need�to�go. 24 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,794 [Alice�and�Bette] Yes. 25 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,462 [Bette] � I�need�to�go! Oh,�my�God. 26 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,049 [Tina] � You're...�you're�not thinking�clearly. 27 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,182 You�love�it�here. 28 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,884 You�love�your�friends and�your�job. 29 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,035 [Bette] That's�true. 30 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,638 That's�all�true, but�I�love�you�more. 31 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,099 Please,�may�I�come�with�you? 32 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,017 No,�they�just�have something�real,�you�know. 33 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,102 That�would�be�nice. 34 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,978 [Daniela] I'm�sorry�for�reacting 35 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,481 the�way�I�did�earlier. 36 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,191 I�love�you. 37 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,073 I�don't�find�trouble,�yeah 38 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,241 Trouble�finds�me 39 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,913 [sirens�wailing] 40 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,290 [helicopter�blades�whirring] 41 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,000 [indistinct�radio�chatter] 42 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,092 You�look�good, 43 00:01:25,093 --> 00:01:26,794 but�we�should�bring�you�in for�observation. 44 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,963 [Gigi] Okay.�Thank�you�so�much. 45 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,798 [paramedic] White�female,�conscious, 46 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,299 presenting�with�head�injuries... 47 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,384 Hi. 48 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,011 Hey,�you. 49 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,681 gentle�music 50 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,143 -Whoa. -That's�my�face. 51 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,937 -Sorry. -Mm. 52 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:47,022 I�think�I�might�have�just pressed�glass�into�your�skin. 53 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,484 You've�always�been�good in�crisis. 54 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,486 -Yeah. -[paramedic]�Sorry,�ma'am. 55 00:01:56,691 --> 00:02:00,786 [Dani]�Hey,�I'm�looking for�my�girlfriend. 56 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,496 -[paramedic]�Yeah,�she's�there. -[Dani]�Oh,�thank�you. 57 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,455 Hey. 58 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,623 Hey,�I�got�here as�fast�as�I�could. 59 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,000 Great. 60 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,961 Oh,�my�God. 61 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,423 -Are�you�okay? -I�am�okay. 62 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,425 [Nat] I'll�just�wait�outside. 63 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:17,428 -Ow,�ow,�ow,�ow,�ow. -Sorry. 64 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,351 I'll�be�right�back,�okay? 65 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,228 Nat? 66 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,397 [Dani�sighs] 67 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:30,823 Uh,�thank�you�for�getting�here 68 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,318 -as�fast�as�you�did. -Oh. 69 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,280 Yeah,�I'm�her�emergency�contact, 70 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,239 so�I�had�a�head�start. 71 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,158 Oh,�well,�that's... 72 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,785 Which�we�should�change, you�know? 73 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:41,953 It�should�be�you. 74 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:42,995 Right. 75 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,079 [paramedic] Only�one�of�you�can�ride. 76 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,160 Oh,�that-that's�me. 77 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,583 Yeah. 78 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,293 [Nat]�Well,�call�me if�you�need�anything. 79 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,212 I'll�be�around. 80 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,883 "Trouble's�Comin'" by�Rayelle 81 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:57,719 It's�going�down,�down,�down 82 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,306 You�can�feel�it�all�around, round,�round 83 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:04,976 Ain't�no�way�to�stop�it�now, now,�now 84 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,645 Better�start�running 85 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:11,357 Running,�running 86 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,359 [stage�bell�ringing] 87 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,651 [Alice] Can�you�believe 88 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,862 they�let�me�make�this�show a�hundred�times? 89 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,073 Yes.�It's�gonna�be a�great�show. 90 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,991 Oh,�my�God, the�dating�show�segment? 91 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,327 -Yeah. -Genius. 92 00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:23,827 Thank�you. The�flowers�look�great. 93 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,996 And�all�the�contestants have�been�vetted,�right? 94 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,872 Yes. 95 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,290 Okay,�'cause�I'm�looking for�the�one. 96 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,666 Right.�No�cults, no�mixed�martial�arts�and... 97 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:30,876 [assistant] What�do�you�think? 98 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,294 -Yes. -[assistant]�You�got�it. 99 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,631 ...no�improvisers�of�any�kind. 100 00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,465 Yeah,�that�last�one's very�important. 101 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,636 -[sighs] -What�if�this�really�works? 102 00:03:38,637 --> 00:03:40,177 I�mean,�what�if I�find�my�person? 103 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,262 -Oh,�my�God!�Yeah. -Wouldn't�it�be�amazing? 104 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,724 -Soso�and�Allyce? -That's�us. 105 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,433 I'm�sorry�if I'm�butchering�those. 106 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:50,355 My�coworker�Kim�here�got�bit by�a�pig�at�her�family�reunion 107 00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,231 and�her�thumb hasn't�been�the�same. 108 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,702 -Oh,�sorry�about�your�thumb. -[Kim]�Thanks. 109 00:03:54,703 --> 00:03:56,777 Right,�well,�I'll�see�you out�there. 110 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,862 Okay. 111 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,781 Oh. 112 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,033 Oh!�You.�Alice. 113 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,035 Uh,�yeah,�that's�me. [chuckles] 114 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,327 [Taylor] Yeah,�I�mean, 115 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,329 I�guess�I�shouldn't�be�surprised given�where�I�am, 116 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,581 I�mean,�physically... 117 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,375 -Oh,�in�the... -Here.�Yeah. 118 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,834 -Yeah.�Lines�up. -Yeah. 119 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,335 'Cause�the�show's called � Alice... 120 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,378 Hang�on. 121 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,088 I�can�add�a�little�something special�here. 122 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,424 Kim�usually�does�the�latte�art, 123 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,052 but�I'll�give�it�my�best�shot. 124 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,478 Ta-da. 125 00:04:23,479 --> 00:04:25,222 -Oh,�you�made�a,�um... -I�can�do�a�heart, 126 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,848 but�that�just�felt a�little�obvious, 127 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,049 so�I�went�with�chaos. 128 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,560 Or�a�little�modern�art. 129 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,019 [chuckling] It�was�nice�to�meet�you. 130 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,729 -Yeah,�you,�too. -Good�luck�on�the�show. 131 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,941 Oh,�are�you�gonna�stay and�watch? 132 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,233 [Taylor] No,�no,�no,�no. 133 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,151 Um,�I'll�have�to�overanalyze this�conversation 134 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,487 for�like�two�hours,�so... 135 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,862 Why?�It's�going�so�well. 136 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:41,990 [laughs] 137 00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,365 No,�you�should�stay�and�watch. 138 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,075 It's-it's�nice�to�have real�fans�in�the�audience 139 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,369 and�not�just�confused tourists�who�think 140 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,704 they're�here�to�see�Ellen. 141 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,707 [chuckling] Sold. 142 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,333 Okay,�great. 143 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,710 slow,�wistful�music 144 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,932 [door�opens] 145 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,685 [door�closes] 146 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,186 -Hey. -Hey. 147 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:16,107 Going�to�the�new�bar. Want�to�break�some�shit? 148 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,192 -Uh...�yeah. -Yeah? 149 00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,319 That�actually�sounds�like a�dream�come�true. 150 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,320 [Shane] Let's�go. 151 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,197 [Finley] Holy�shit. 152 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,907 -[Shane]�Let's�have�some�fun. -�"Pony"�by�Ginuwine 153 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:29,454 I'm�just�a�bachelor 154 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,749 I'm�looking�for�a�partner 155 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:36,461 Someone�who�knows how�to�ride 156 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:40,173 Without�even�falling�off 157 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:43,468 Got�to�be�compatible 158 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,637 Takes�me�to�my�limits 159 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,891 Girl,�when�I�break�you�off 160 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,186 I�promise�that�you�won't wanna�get�off 161 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,562 If�you're�horny 162 00:05:54,645 --> 00:06:00,401 Let's�do�it, ride�it,�my�pony 163 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,738 My�saddle's�waiting 164 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,241 Come�and�jump�on�it 165 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,619 If�you're�horny,�let's�do�it 166 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:13,498 Ride�it,�my�pony 167 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,667 My�saddle's�waiting 168 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:21,214 Come�and�jump�on�it 169 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,342 [grunting] 170 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,177 Hey. 171 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,387 [panting] 172 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,348 You�think�I'd�be,�like, good�at�school? 173 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,642 [panting] What? 174 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,561 You�know,�like,�college. 175 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,526 I�don't�know. Were�you�any�good�before? 176 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,487 -No,�not�really. -[door�opens] 177 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:48,366 Yes,�I�love�that�place. I'll�meet�you�there.�Um... 178 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,077 Sorry,�can�you�hold�on just�one�second. 179 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,956 Um,�hi.�What�the�hell�do�the�two of�you�think�you're�doing? 180 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,415 We�don't�start�demo until�tomorrow. 181 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,958 [Shane] I�know.�I�know,�I�know,�I�know, 182 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,668 but�we�got�a�head�start, and�look�how�much�we�got�done. 183 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,794 I�mean,�check�that�out. 184 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,005 Come�on. Come�on,�have�a�whack. 185 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,674 It's�a�maj�stress�reliever. Have�a�whack. 186 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,926 No,�Finley,�I�don't�want�to give�it�a�whack. 187 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,471 All�right.�Your�loss. 188 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,765 Oh,�shit!�Fuck! 189 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,807 Okay. 190 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,893 I'm�gonna�stop�the�water. 191 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,270 I�got�it! I�got�it! 192 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,645 Finley,�go�around�the�corner. 193 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,648 It's�not�a�big�deal,�Tess. 194 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,065 -Truly.�Just�calm�down. -You�there? 195 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,296 Yeah,�actually, can�you�meet�me�here? 196 00:07:24,297 --> 00:07:26,653 Great,�I'm�gonna�text�you the�address�right�now. 197 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,156 Okay,�bye. 198 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,948 This�is�exactly�why 199 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,741 you�should�not�be fucking�around�in�here. 200 00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,118 -It's�just... -[Tess]�I�have�got�so�much 201 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,109 on�my�plate�already and�now,�this. 202 00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,539 -Tess,�it's�just�an�accident. -You're�gonna�have�to�tell�Alice 203 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,748 that�I�can't�make�it�tonight 204 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,500 because�I'm�gonna�be�here waiting�for�a�plumber. 205 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,793 [Shane] Why?�No,�no,�no. 206 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,297 I�can�help�with�that. 207 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:48,634 Your�help�is�how�this�happened. So�thanks,�but�no�thanks. 208 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,136 [Shane�sighs] 209 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,722 [panting] All�right,�then. 210 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,266 I�should�just�stay out�of�your�way�then. 211 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,268 Hmm? 212 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,312 -Yeah. -Yeah,�I�will. 213 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,483 [sighs] Oh,�my�God. 214 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,984 slow,�tranquil�music 215 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,027 [Sophie] � Did�you�get the�chocolate�fountain? 216 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,615 [Dani]�Yup.�Whatever�Alice wants,�I'll�make�it�happen. 217 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,990 It's�her�show. [chuckles] 218 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,951 -Oh,�yeah. -Okay,�leaving�now. 219 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,412 -All�right,�see�you�there. -Bye. 220 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,498 Hi�and�bye. 221 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:21,333 Have�you�seen�my�other�earring? Is�it�in�the�bathroom? 222 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877 I�didn't�see�it. 223 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,713 Mm.�I'm�sorry. [kisses] 224 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:26,922 Just�borrow�a�pair�of�mine. 225 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,675 Your�car's�gonna�be�here at�3:00. 226 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,802 He's�usually a�little�early,�so... 227 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,388 -[Gigi]�Okay. -[knock�on�door] 228 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,640 Not�that�early. 229 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,017 Oh,�it's... 230 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,684 Nat. 231 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,980 -Hi. -Hi. 232 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,774 Um... 233 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,150 Sorry,�what�are�you... what�are�you�doing�here? 234 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,154 Oh,�hi. Uh,�Gigi�just�called�me. 235 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,364 Oh. 236 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,491 I�can't�get�ready�on�my�own, 237 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,033 and�I�didn't�want�you to�be�late. 238 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,619 Yeah. [chuckles] 239 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,912 Happy�to�help. 240 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,038 -Right. -Yeah. 241 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,624 No.�Sure,�that's�great. 242 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:02,666 [chuckles] 243 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,752 Yeah.�Um,�I�will... 244 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,546 see�you...�both 245 00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:08,004 at�Alice's�show�later�then? 246 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,173 [Nat] Oh,�yeah. 247 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,257 I�will�be�there. 248 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,925 Margaret�Cho is�on�my�bucket�list. 249 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,970 -[chuckles]�Not�to... -Great. 250 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,513 ...fuck,�just�meet. 251 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,140 -Sure.�Right.�Um... -[chuckles] 252 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,475 All�right.�I�love�you. 253 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,726 Love�you. 254 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,062 Bye! 255 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,604 [door�opens] 256 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:25,655 -Hi! -Hi. 257 00:09:25,656 --> 00:09:27,148 -How�are�you�doing? -[door�closes] 258 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,776 Uh,�I�feel�like�shit. 259 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,237 -[chuckles] -But�I'm�on�a�lot�of�drugs. 260 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,572 -Nice. -No,�I'm�good. 261 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,408 Honestly...�[stammers] I've�had�five�days�off. 262 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,742 I�can't�remember�the�last�time I�had�five�days�off. 263 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,204 Oh.�Well, I�actually�do�remember. 264 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:44,375 Yeah,�it�was�when�you�got�hand, foot�and�mouth�from�the�kids, 265 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,588 and�I�don't�think�you�went�out in�public�for,�like,�a�week. 266 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,721 Okay,�fine. 267 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,550 Last�time�was�when�I�had hand,�foot�and�mouth. 268 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,135 Yeah. 269 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,683 Do�you�want�to�talk�about... 270 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,978 ...what�happened the�other�night? 271 00:10:04,889 --> 00:10:06,980 No. 272 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,609 -[laughing] -All�right.�[chuckles] 273 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,194 I�mean,�honestly,�it�was... 274 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,821 it�was�nothing. 275 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,364 -Yeah. -Yeah. 276 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,825 -Right? -Mm.�Yes. 277 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,994 slow,�somber�music 278 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,882 Yeah,�no,�no. It's-it's�good,�Mom,�I�swear. 279 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:26,959 Jordi's�just...�having�trouble with�boundaries 280 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,753 and,�like,�texting�me�a�lot. 281 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,588 But�I'm�fine,�you�know? 282 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,714 I'm-I'm�excited�for�class, you�know? 283 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,383 I�feel�like�it's,�um... 284 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,260 a�fresh�start,�you�know? 285 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,970 Okay.�I�love�you. 286 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,681 Yes.�Yes,�yes, it's�on�my�keychain. 287 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,517 Okay.�I�love�you.�Bye. 288 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,936 [soft�chatter] 289 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:51,525 Hey,�y'all! Um,�my�name�is�Samuel�Hendrix. 290 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,902 I�am�your�professor. 291 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:57,031 We're�gonna�investigate�our own�individual�creativity,�'kay? 292 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,658 Um,�I�am�a�poet, 293 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,202 a�songwriter, a�lousy�piano�player 294 00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,410 and�I�wrote�a�book�once. 295 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,870 That�therefore�qualifies�me 296 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:07,208 to�be�your�Introduction to�Creative�Writing�instructor. 297 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,460 -Welcome,�y'all. -[chuckling] 298 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,462 -Okay... -[whispers]�Fuck�me. 299 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,506 So... 300 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,049 we're�gonna... 301 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,385 we're�gonna�jump�right�in. 302 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,470 -Hey! -Hey! 303 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,472 -Happy�100th. -[gasps] 304 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,890 The�chart. 305 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,308 -Right? -Oh! 306 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,730 God,�where�it�all�began. 307 00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:27,477 Just�a�reminder of�your�humble�beginnings. 308 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,770 I�love�it.�Let's�hang�it. 309 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,105 Take�that�down. I�can't�stand�this�picture. 310 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,356 I�did�your�hair�for�that. 311 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,235 Well,�I�like�my�hair.�I�just... 312 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,945 This�is�better. 313 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,279 [Shane] Right? 314 00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,447 [Alice] Love�it! 315 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,641 -Ugh.�Oh- -Do�you�still�talk�to�her? 316 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,827 -No.�No,�no. -She�was�really�cute. 317 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,035 Um,�Bette�and�Tina�got�me 318 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,328 -those�flowers. -That's�nice. 319 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,705 -Pretty. -Glad�they're�making�it�work. 320 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,623 Mm.�Tom�got�me a�basket�of�Bic�pens. 321 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,627 -That's�odd. -Well,�you�know,�I�turned�down 322 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,044 -the�marriage�proposal. -Right. 323 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,713 But�he's�still�able to�be�a�good�friend. 324 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,674 Or�he's�still�hoping. 325 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:57,632 [sighs] 326 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:58,842 Honestly,�either�way�is�fine. 327 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,009 Is�this�for�me,�too? 328 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,469 -What?�Oh,�no,�no,�no,�no,�no. -This�one. 329 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,304 That's�just my�old�hair�products. 330 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,597 Oh.�Yeah,�I�don't�want�that. 331 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,434 I�know�you�don't,�but�Ivy�does. 332 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,562 And�I�figured I'd�give�'em�to�her,�so... 333 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:10,603 Okay. 334 00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:11,980 Do�you�know where�I�can�find�her? 335 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,941 -Yeah.�Over�here. -[clears�throat] 336 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,317 You�two�really�hit�it�off the�other�night. 337 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,487 -No,�it�was�just�work. -Mm. 338 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:19,989 Where's�Tess? 339 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:23,159 Unfortunately, she's�not�able�to�make�it. 340 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,618 So�she�wanted�me to�send�you�her�love. 341 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,370 Well,�I'm�sorry she's�gonna�miss�it. 342 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:28,246 Me,�too. 343 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,082 Oh.�Real�quick- 344 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,291 don't�sit�in�the�front. 345 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,625 I�don't�want to�give�too�much�away, 346 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,502 but�there�is a�lube�slip-and-slide. 347 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,712 It�might�get�a�little�messy. 348 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,090 How�do�you�come�up with�this�shit? 349 00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:40,509 Okay,�so,�VIPs�are�gonna�hang 350 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,926 -in�the � Alice � lounge. -Huh. 351 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,887 I�got�this�queer�winemaker to�sponsor�it. 352 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,972 Um,�the�list is�getting�pretty�long�though, 353 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,057 so�I'm�thinking�we�do�overflow in�the�greenroom. 354 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,727 All�right,�that�sounds...�good. 355 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:50,852 I�mean,�that'll�work. 356 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,314 -Um... -Oh,�hey,�how's�Gigi? 357 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:56,108 Uh,�you�know, ribs�take�a�while�to�heal. 358 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,400 But�other�than�that,�she's�fine. 359 00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,862 Okay.�Well,�hey,�um... [clicks�tongue] 360 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,237 when's�she's�feeling�better, 361 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,114 why�don't�you�guys�come�over for�dinner? 362 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,950 -With�me�and�Finley. -Uh... 363 00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,410 M-Maybe. 364 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,995 Ouch. 365 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,163 I�said�maybe. 366 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,831 -Come�on. -[scoffs] 367 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,832 -This�bitch. -�Didn't�see�that�coming 368 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,252 Didn't�see�that�coming 369 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,004 There's�also,�I�think, like,�a�pipe�or�something 370 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,815 -rattling�in�the�ceiling. -Okay. 371 00:13:19,816 --> 00:13:20,882 Could�be�animals. 372 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,718 -Rats. -[Finley]�Uh-oh. 373 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,053 I�stopped�feeding�'em. 374 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,553 Okay,�I'm�gonna�check everything�out. 375 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,763 Okay,�great.�Thank�you. 376 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,306 If�you�need�anything�from�me, just�come 377 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,474 and�find�me. I'll�be�here�all�day. 378 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,643 -Sounds�great. -'Kay. 379 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,395 Tess,�please�don't�stay�here. 380 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,689 I'm�the�one that�broke�the�pipe. 381 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:36,816 I�know,�but- 382 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,650 Listen,�you�shouldn't�have to�stay�with�the�plumber. 383 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,486 I-I�want�to.�Really.�Please? 384 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,778 [stammers] No,�it's�fine. 385 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,406 My�sponsee's already�on�the�way�and- 386 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,157 I�got�the�highlighter. I�got�the�book. 387 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,159 -I�know�the�AA�deal. -[chuckles�softly] 388 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,412 -I�can't�ask�you�to�do�that. -No, 389 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,504 you're�not�asking. 390 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,748 Please? 391 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,790 I�want�to. 392 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:54,707 Let�me�make�this�right. 393 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,335 Come�on.�Go�be�with�Shane. 394 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,297 I�was... 395 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,675 way�harsh�on�her�earlier. 396 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,344 soft,�somber�music 397 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,307 [indistinct�chatter] 398 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,308 [Hendrix]�Next�week's�gonna�be a�deep�dive�into�structure, 399 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,509 so�be�ready�for�that. 400 00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,353 Also,�if�you�want to�hear�some�great�writing, 401 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,939 my�buddy�is�doing�a�reading at�the�campus�bookstore. 402 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,983 Hi,�excuse�me. Will�you�just�wait�one�second? 403 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,652 -Yeah. -Um,�yeah,�that's�it. 404 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:22,820 Um,�hi. 405 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,991 Uh,�I�have�a�quick�question for�you. 406 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,076 [quietly] Um... 407 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,203 it�is�you,�right? 408 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,082 Yeah,�yeah,�yeah,�yeah, I�knew�it�was�you.�[laughs] 409 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,165 [laughs] Hi! 410 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,127 Um,�yes,�I�just- 411 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,714 I�wanted�to�say I'm�sorry�about... 412 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,675 like,�kissing�you the�other�night. 413 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:49,430 Um,�just�please�know�that�won't, like,�ever�happen�again. 414 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,556 I�had�just�broken�up with�my�first�girlfriend 415 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,766 who�I�was�in�love�with, and�my�moms�are,�like, 416 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,435 getting�back�together, which�is,�like,�a�whole�thing. 417 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,647 And�it's�my- it's�my�first�week�of�college. 418 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,189 Anyway,�I�just�want�you�to�know 419 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:04,236 if-if�you�want�me�to,�like, drop�your�class,�I�totally�will. 420 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:07,865 I'm�happy�you're�in�my�class. 421 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,535 Okay. 422 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,037 Okay.�Great. 423 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,955 I'll�see�you�next�week? 424 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,790 See�ya. 425 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,960 lighthearted�music 426 00:15:27,211 --> 00:15:29,135 [chuckles] 427 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,553 [stage�manager] Give�Alice�five. 428 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,221 [assistant] I�thought�you�gave�Wardrobe�ten. 429 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,057 Yeah,�but�we�got�to�give�Alice five�so�she�gets�here�on�time. 430 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,435 -Oh,�gotcha. -[Shane]�No,�no,�it's�yours. 431 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,604 Thank�you.�Thank�you,�thank�you. 432 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,063 -You�don't�need�to�thank�me. -Five�minutes. 433 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,399 That�was�collecting�dust in�my�garage. 434 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,274 What? 435 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,070 This�is�literally�liquid�gold. 436 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,154 Y'all�hear�that? Nobody�touch�my�shit. 437 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:50,073 -This�is�a�no-fly�zone. -[hairdresser]�Okay,�okay. 438 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,699 [announcer] 15�minutes,�everyone. 439 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,410 15�minutes�till�showtime. 440 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,621 All�right, I'm�gonna�go�get�my�seat. 441 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,998 You�don't�want to�hang�back�here? 442 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,624 This�is�where�all�the�fun�is. 443 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,875 "All�Diamonds"�by�Nightgames 444 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,711 I'll�find�a�place 445 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,963 For�myself... 446 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,922 [comedian]�I�feel lots�of�love�here,�people. 447 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,632 -[Dani]�Okay. -[comedian]�Uh-huh. 448 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,175 -You�know�what�time�it�is. -All�right,�can�I�get�you 449 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,260 any�water�or�anything? You�want�some... 450 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,054 Oh,�I�heard�there�was�champagne. 451 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,472 [audience�whooping,�laughing] 452 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,225 No,�you're-�I�mean,�you're probably�busy.�I-I�could�get�it. 453 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,268 -[Dani]�No,�I-I�can�get�it. -You're�so�busy. 454 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,186 I�will�get�it. 455 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,396 -You�sure?�Okay. -Yeah. 456 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,397 Yeah,�yeah,�yeah. 457 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,356 How�you�feeling? 458 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,399 -You�okay? -I'm�fine. 459 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,775 -Go�do�your�thing. -Okay. 460 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,945 Well,�the�show�starts�in�ten, 461 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,030 if�you�need�anything before�then. 462 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,072 [Nat] Oh!�I�do. 463 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,701 Uh,�these�are�for�Alice. 464 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:34,868 Yeah.�I�wanted 465 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,411 to�get�her�flowers, but�the�lady�by�the�side 466 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,081 of�the�freeway only�had�oranges�today,�so... 467 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,039 there�you�go. 468 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,417 S-So�you�got�oranges? 469 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,542 [chuckles] Okay. 470 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,584 -Yep. -Wonderful. 471 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,546 I'll�see�she�gets�these. 472 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,715 -Thanks. -Yeah. 473 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,967 Mm-hmm. 474 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,885 I�feel�like�she�didn't�think that�was�funny. 475 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,179 -I�wouldn't�take�it�personally. -[chuckles] 476 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,849 'Kay. 477 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,725 You�got�some�fluff�in�your�hair. 478 00:16:58,726 --> 00:16:59,776 Oh. 479 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,979 -Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 480 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,313 Got�it? 481 00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,524 Hair's�looking�healthy. 482 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,943 You�finally�using�new�products? 483 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,446 Yeah,�actually. 484 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:13,824 It's,�uh, called�Grape�Jelly�by�Eli. 485 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:18,287 Yeah,�it's�applied�by�just flinging�it�across�the�table. 486 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,038 -[chuckles] -It's�in�high�demand. 487 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,330 I'll�try�and�get�you�his�number. 488 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,458 [snorts�softly] 489 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,710 [audience�laughing] 490 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,424 I�saw�you�when�I�got�hit. 491 00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:34,344 Yeah,�I-I�can't�believe�how�fast I�was�able�to�get�there. 492 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,763 No. 493 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:40,517 The�way�they�say�your�life flashes�before�your�eyes. 494 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,230 I�saw�you�and�the�kids. 495 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,358 My�family. 496 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,195 soft,�sentimental�music 497 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,655 I'm�sure�it�was�just... the�adrenaline. 498 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,156 -You�know?�That's�all. -[Dani]�Here�you�go. 499 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,450 Oh,�thank�you. 500 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,951 Yeah. 501 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,287 [comedian] What�are�they? 502 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,287 That's�right. 503 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,499 Um,�she�didn't�bring�you a�glass. 504 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,667 No. [laughs] 505 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,627 You�know�what? That's�okay.�Actually, 506 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,255 I�think�I�have a�reusable�straw�in�here. 507 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,964 -[chuckles�softly] -Let's�see. 508 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:14,384 upbeat,�funky�music 509 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,386 Na-na-na,�na-na-na-na 510 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,473 Na-na-na-na,�na-na-na-na 511 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,682 Whoo! Let's�take�it�from�the�top�now 512 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:22,935 Take�it�from�the�top... 513 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,353 Finley? 514 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,687 -Hi! -Hi. 515 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:26,938 -Carrie,�right? -Yes,�hi. 516 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,231 -Hi,�how�are�you? -I'm�good. 517 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,607 -Nice�to�meet�you. -Thank�you.�You,�too. 518 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,609 You�know, Tess�described�you�so�perfectly. 519 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,612 -Oh. -She�said,�"Leonardo�DiCaprio 520 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:34,905 from � Romeo�+�Juliet." 521 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,906 And�with�the�hair�and everything,�I�totally�see�it. 522 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,118 Wow,�that�is�weirdly�the�nicest thing�anybody's�ever�said�to�me. 523 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,203 Wow. 524 00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,871 God,�I�must�be�on�some�kind of�gender�journey,�huh? 525 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,374 Yeah.�I�wouldn't�know�enough about�that�to�say. 526 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,126 -[chuckles�softly] -So�what�do�we�do? 527 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,207 Uh,�yeah,�sit�down. 528 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,754 -Right�here? -Yeah. 529 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:51,754 Okay. 530 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,882 Wait,�so�how�do�you�know�Tess? 531 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,094 I�hit�rock�bottom. I�went�on�a�bender. 532 00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:58,052 That's�when�Tess became�my�sponsor. 533 00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,596 So,�I'm�here 534 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,183 to�tell�you�about�the�tsunami of�depression�that... 535 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:04,976 kicked�my�ass�after�I�found�out 536 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,437 that�my�fiancée got�back�with�her�ex. 537 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,271 -Shit.�[inhales�sharply] -Yeah. 538 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:12,067 Well,�we�got�this�puppy to�guide�us. 539 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,069 -So,�silver�lining. -Okay.�Right. 540 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,486 -Yeah,�it�can't�hurt,�right? -Yeah. 541 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,113 But,�listen, I�got�to�hit�the�head�first. 542 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,949 I,�like,�pounded,�like,�a�gallon of�iced�tea�on�the�way�here. 543 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,576 Course. Uh,�the�water's�out�in�here, 544 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,786 but�right�around�the�corner is�Dana's. 545 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,413 Pop�in�there, there's�a�bathroom. 546 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,875 Okay,�great.�And,�listen,�I�got a�free�sub�with�my�punch�card. 547 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,335 If�you�want�one,�take�it. 548 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:32,045 Oh,�sweet.�Thanks. 549 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,172 What-what�is�it? 550 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,214 Uh,�it's�turkey�and�cheese, no�dressing. 551 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,092 I�don't�like�wet�bread. 552 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,469 [door�opens] 553 00:19:40,297 --> 00:19:42,305 Copy�that. 554 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,347 [door�closes] 555 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:46,727 Kegel�and�hold. Kegel�and�hold. 556 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:47,895 Don't�sneeze. 557 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,980 Oh,�no.�Don't�sneeze. 558 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,072 Okay. 559 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,025 Almost�there. 560 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,030 Oh,�occupied! 561 00:19:58,071 --> 00:19:59,865 -Oh,�geez! -Oh. 562 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,366 -Oh,�my,�oh... -Oh,�my�God. 563 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,492 -Oh,�boy.�Oh,�boy. -No,�no,�no,�no,�no,�oh,�my�God. 564 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,827 Oh,�my�God,�let�me�look�at�it. 565 00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:06,287 -Oh,�it's�really�coming�out. -Is�it?�Oh,�no. 566 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,455 There's�no,�um,�toilet�paper. 567 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,708 -[laughs]�You... -Oh,�my�God. 568 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,334 -Oh,�it�hurts�when�I�laugh. -Oh,�my�God. 569 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,044 Oh,�it's�in�my�mouth. I�taste�the�blood. 570 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,462 -What�do�we�do? -Oh,�I�have�an�idea. 571 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,838 -Come�here,�come�over�here. -I�need�something. 572 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,048 Come�over�here,�come�over�here. 573 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,759 [Misty] Okay,�it's�working. 574 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,884 It�feels�okay,�actually. 575 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,552 -It�looks�amazing. -Thank�you. 576 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,595 [both�laughing] 577 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:23,972 Okay.�Um,�this�one? 578 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,348 -Yes? -I'm�going�to�take�it�out, 579 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,266 because�it�was�kind�of really�bleeding, 580 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,018 so�I'm�gonna�stick�a�new�one�in. 581 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,229 -Okay.�Right. -Okay? 582 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,604 Okay,�here�we�go. You�ready? 583 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,647 -Go.�Gentle. -Okay. 584 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,608 Don't�freak�out, don't�freak�out. 585 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,109 [exhales] We�did�it. 586 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,276 Oh,�I�can�breathe�again. 587 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,736 -Not�for�long. -You�got�it? 588 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,155 -I'm�going�to�jam�it�slowly... -Oh?�Yeah,�that's�nice. 589 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:42,606 -You�okay? -Not�too�hard. 590 00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:43,950 -You�good? -That's�good. 591 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,201 -[chuckles]�Okay. -Thank�you. 592 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,786 -Looks�good. -My�name's�Carrie. 593 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,777 -I'm�Misty. -It's�nice�to�meet�you. 594 00:20:48,778 --> 00:20:49,830 Nice�to�meet�you,�yeah. 595 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,249 You�do�well�under�pressure. 596 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,960 It's�a�good�thing�I�know�so much�about�leaky�pipes,�I�guess. 597 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,170 -Right. -Yeah. 598 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,589 Holy�shit, what�the�hell�happened? 599 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,215 -It's�a�long�story. -Yes,�it�is. 600 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,508 Yeah,�we're�all�good,�though. 601 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,926 -Yeah,�we're�good.�Yeah. -Yeah.�Don't�worry. 602 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,386 Oh,�there's,�like, no�toilet�paper 603 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,222 in�this�whole�entire�bathroom. 604 00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,555 Oh,�that's�actually�my�fault. 605 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:08,432 I,�um,�yeah, I�was�supposed�to�do�that. 606 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,892 -[Misty]�Okay. -Are�you�sure�you're�good? 607 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,269 -Yeah,�yeah.�We're�good. -We're�good. 608 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,720 -You're�good. -We're�good. 609 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,649 [clears�throat] Okay... 610 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,067 Ooh,�la,�la... 611 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,693 [Sophie] � All�right, contestants,�are�you�ready? 612 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,403 Here�are�your�microphones, all�right? 613 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,904 You're�gonna�talk into�them�like�this, 614 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,239 -blah,�blah,�blah. -[clattering] 615 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,199 -Wait�a�minute. -Somebody�cut�her�off. 616 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,951 Where's�contestant�number�three? 617 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,536 [slurring] Are�these�Beyond�Beef, 618 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,829 or�are�these�the�real�deal? 619 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,840 [assistant]�Guys,�just�be aware�of�what's�going�on. 620 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:36,128 [muttering] Anybody-�you�don't�know. 621 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:37,261 Mmm... [slurping] 622 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,215 [gasps�softly] Fuck�my�life. 623 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,425 [exhales] 624 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,342 [Alice]�You�know,�I'm�much better�with�emotional�ties. 625 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:44,511 [audience�laughing] 626 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,514 This�feels a�little�more�literal. 627 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,765 [laughter] 628 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,394 But�it�does�remind�me�a�lot of�a�relationship�I�was�in�once. 629 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:54,980 Oh...! 630 00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,482 -[cheering] -[Alice]�I�did�it! 631 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,067 Thank�you. 632 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,403 [announcer] Hang�tight,�everyone. 633 00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,029 15�minutes until�the�next�segment. 634 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,281 There's�nothing�suspicious about�anything�you're�doing. 635 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,617 What,�am�I�not�being�discrete? 636 00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,786 Uh,�no.�You'd�be a�terrible�criminal. 637 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,122 Oh,�please. I�could�commit�crimes. 638 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,581 Yeah,�and�not�get�away�with�it. 639 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:17,836 That's�just�mean. It's�mean�and�it's�wrong. 640 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,339 [quietly] I�could...�kill. 641 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:26,261 [chuckling] Or�maybe�pillage�something. 642 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,808 Can�I�tell�you�something? 643 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:32,976 Mm-hmm. 644 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:37,189 I�keep�trying�to�understand�what I�was�feeling�in�that�moment. 645 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,693 Like,�what�it�means that�I�saw�you. 646 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,533 Do�you�think�it�means�anything? 647 00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,164 Are�you�smizing�at�me? 648 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,332 Smizing? 649 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,824 Smizing? From � Top�Model? 650 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:58,877 [chuckling] 651 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,378 Can�you�please stop�making�me�laugh? 652 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,088 -My�ribs�are�bruised. -What?�What�do�you�watch? 653 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,757 My�ribs�are�bruised. 654 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:06,093 Well,�stop�saying ridiculous�things. 655 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:07,968 You're�the�one�being�ridiculous. 656 00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:10,889 Um,�actually,�you're the�one�with�a�head�injury. 657 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:14,559 You�were�concussed�and�now you're�drinking�on�painkillers, 658 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:18,146 so�I'm�pretty�sure you're�not�thinking�straight. 659 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,607 Safe�to�say. 660 00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,904 -We�met�at�18. -I�know. 661 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:29,699 -Well,�you�were�19. -No,�you're�older�than�me. 662 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:31,158 -No,�I'm�not. -Yes,�you�are. 663 00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:34,413 -I-I�always�mix�that�up. -I�know,�I�don't�understand. 664 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,790 -You�were�18? -Yes. 665 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,375 [Nat�chuckles] 666 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,836 gentle�music 667 00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:43,922 [chuckles] 668 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:47,007 -Dani,�Dani,�Dani! -Thank�you�so�much. 669 00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:48,634 -Dani,�I�need�a�favor. -Thank�you. 670 00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:50,469 Why�don't�you�carry your�own�tampons? 671 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:52,139 -What?�No.�I... -Hi. 672 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,975 I-I�lost�a�contestant for�the�dating�game, 673 00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:56,138 and�I�need�someone. 674 00:23:56,139 --> 00:23:57,351 Can�you�please�do�it�for�me? 675 00:23:57,352 --> 00:23:58,853 [stammering] It's�in�six,�six�minutes. 676 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,896 No.�I�have�to�go�get Billie�Jean�off�the�red�carpet. 677 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,189 She�won't�stop�smiling for�the�cameras. 678 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:03,524 You�do�it. You�got�it.�Go. 679 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,445 God!�Why�are�you�the�worst? 680 00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:13,535 slow,�dramatic�music 681 00:24:14,441 --> 00:24:19,623 [announcer] � All�right, everyone�in�the�audience, 682 00:24:19,624 --> 00:24:22,043 we�are�gonna�start in�just�a�few�minutes. 683 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,838 -Please�take�your�seats. -[applause] 684 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,007 intriguing�music 685 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:38,602 You�know,�your�timing�could�not have�been�more�perfect,�really. 686 00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:40,936 Well,�I'm�just�glad�it's getting�put�to�some�good�use. 687 00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:42,605 [Ivy]�You�know, I�think�I�need,�like, 688 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:43,814 a�little�bit�of�a�revamp. 689 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,691 I've�just�been on�those�dating�apps. 690 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:47,110 Like,�they're�terrible. 691 00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,945 -Oh,�those�dating�apps...�yeah. -Absolutely�terrifying. 692 00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:53,158 Yeah.�And�I've�been�out the�game�for�like...�two�years. 693 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,492 -Two�years,�huh? -Yeah. 694 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,543 -I�had�a�kid. -I�know�you�had�a�kid. 695 00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,580 You�mentioned�that when�I�met�you. 696 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:00,748 You�don't�seem�like�the�type that�wants�to�see�pictures 697 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:02,459 so�I'm�not�gonna�show�you. 698 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:04,502 I'd�see,�I'd�see�it�if�you'd like�to�show�it�to�me. 699 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,711 -Oh,�yeah? -I'm�not�against�it. 700 00:25:05,712 --> 00:25:06,762 Okay. [chuckles] 701 00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:08,548 She�is�everything 702 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,634 and�she�has�also�sucked�me�dry. 703 00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:15,388 I�just�don't�feel�like�myself all�the�way,�you�know? 704 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,725 Yeah. 705 00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:20,893 Yeah.�[clears�throat] I�can�relate�to�that. 706 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:23,772 I�think�I�need�to�get�back on�the�horse. 707 00:25:23,813 --> 00:25:26,233 I�think�you're�gonna�do just�fine. 708 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:31,571 Hi,�guys. I�need�a�favor.�Um... 709 00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,822 Can�you�get�her�ready�in, like,�four�minutes? 710 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:36,660 -She's�not�talking�to�me. -We'll�do�it. 711 00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:37,868 -Yeah. -Oh,�my�God,�amazing. 712 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,037 -Okay,�sit�down. -Hi. 713 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:40,409 -Hi. -What's�your�name? 714 00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:42,082 -Taylor. -Hi,�Taylor. 715 00:25:42,165 --> 00:25:44,292 I'm�Ivy,�this�is�Shane. 716 00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:46,211 -Hey,�Taylor. -Hey. 717 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,212 Yeah,�we're�gonna�take really�good�care�of�you. 718 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,840 Do�you�have�any�do's, any�don'ts? 719 00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:52,132 Uh,�just�no�red�lipstick. 720 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:54,468 My�mom�subjected�me to�pageants�as�a�toddler, 721 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:55,844 so�it's�very�triggering. 722 00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:58,306 Okay.�Take�it�away. Do�your�thing. 723 00:26:00,385 --> 00:26:02,351 Taylor. 724 00:26:02,352 --> 00:26:04,729 -[chuckles�softly] -May�I? 725 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:06,189 Yeah. 726 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,921 [producer] And�we're�rolling. 727 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:10,360 [applause�and�cheering] 728 00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:14,239 [Alice]�Welcome�back to�my�100th�episode. 729 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,991 As�many�of�you�know, I'm�currently�single, 730 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,326 so�I�figured�what�better�way to�meet�someone, 731 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,913 than�on�TV�in�front�of a�studio�audience? 732 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:24,749 -[laughter] -So�to�help�me�out�today, 733 00:26:24,791 --> 00:26:28,545 we've�brought�the�original bisexual�comedienne, 734 00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:31,715 a�woman�who�has�paved�the�way for�so�many�of�us, 735 00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:36,553 my�first�crush, my�friend,�Margaret�Cho! 736 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,096 [cheering] 737 00:26:38,179 --> 00:26:40,724 [upbeat�music�playing] 738 00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,225 Hey! 739 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,145 Thank�you! 740 00:26:45,186 --> 00:26:46,771 Oh,�this�is�so�exciting. 741 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:50,692 So,�you�know�how�this�works, we�have�some�contestants, 742 00:26:50,693 --> 00:26:52,776 we're�gonna�ask�them some�questions. 743 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:54,037 Alice�is�gonna�decide 744 00:26:54,038 --> 00:26:56,155 amongst�three�candidates who's�best,�right? 745 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:57,656 Yes,�well, you're�going�to�help�me. 746 00:26:57,657 --> 00:27:00,159 [Margaret]�I'm�gonna�be�making some�snide�commentary 747 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,120 -from�over�here... -[laughter] 748 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,329 It's�gonna�be�so�fabulous. 749 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,872 -I'm�so�excited. -Sounds�dreamy. 750 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:06,373 -Let's�start.�Okay. -I�love�it. 751 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:09,461 [cheering] 752 00:27:09,462 --> 00:27:11,170 Okay. 753 00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,212 Contestant�number�one, 754 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:13,339 tell�me�about�yourself. 755 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:14,966 -Hi,�Alice. -Oh. 756 00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:18,219 -Ooh,�that�is�a�deep�baritone. -Okay. 757 00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:19,303 I'm�into�it. 758 00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:20,763 I'm�from a�small�town�in�Montana, 759 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,308 where�rush�hour�is a�moose�in�the�road. 760 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,310 Oh,�this�is�gonna�be�simple. 761 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:26,769 Um,�Ivy,�can�you�grab�me 762 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,271 that�product�in�your�bag? 763 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,982 Yeah,�I�just�want�to�see what�it�is. 764 00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:32,942 No. 765 00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:35,069 Uh,�just�find�a�nice�backdrop outside�or�something. 766 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:38,365 Get�singles,�get�groups. I�need�options. 767 00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:39,658 Thank�you.�Hi. 768 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:42,077 Everything�looks�so�good. 769 00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,536 Thank�you. 770 00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:44,746 I'm�gonna�go�home. 771 00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,708 Oh,�it's�early. Are�you�feeling�okay? 772 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,920 Yes,�but�I�just�really want�to�get�back. 773 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,089 Okay,�okay. I'll�call�you�a�car. 774 00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,216 No,�no,�no. Don't�worry�about�it. 775 00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,593 Nat's�going�to�take�me. 776 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:01,388 [sighs�heavily] 777 00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:03,056 What's�going�on? 778 00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:04,189 What�do�you�mean? 779 00:28:04,190 --> 00:28:06,558 I�mean,�what's�going�on with�you�and�Nat? 780 00:28:06,559 --> 00:28:09,688 -Nothing�is�going�on. -Okay. 781 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:12,356 -We�can�talk�more�later. -No. 782 00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:13,857 I'd�like�to�talk�about�it�now. 783 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,860 [Alice] Contestant�number�one, 784 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:18,738 why�don't�you�tell�me how�you�spend�your�days? 785 00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:20,489 I'm�a�veterinarian for�a�nonprofit 786 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,950 that�rescues�animals from�natural�disasters. 787 00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,160 [audience] Aww. 788 00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:26,705 [laughs] He's�perfect. 789 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:29,082 Definitely�a�serial�killer. 790 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:31,084 [laughing] Agreed. 791 00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:33,794 Okay,�let's�move�on to�contestant�number�two. 792 00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:37,424 Can�you�beat�the�butt-dialing rescue�vet�from�Montana? 793 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:39,467 -I'll�try. -[gasps] 794 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:43,096 Um,�I�was�born�in�India, raised�in�New�York. 795 00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:47,100 Uh,�I�run�a�cold�storage start-up�for�NFTs. 796 00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:48,393 [Margaret] Oh. 797 00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:51,478 -Cold�storage�for�NFTs? -I�have�no�idea�what�that�means. 798 00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:53,021 -[laughter] -[Margaret]�Number�two, 799 00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,815 what�is�the�most embarrassing�thing 800 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:56,233 that's�ever�happened�to�you? 801 00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:57,651 The�most�embarrassing�thing 802 00:28:57,652 --> 00:29:02,866 that's�happened�to�me�was I�threw�up�in�the�front�car 803 00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:06,661 of�a�roller�coaster, on�a�first�date. 804 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,080 -[audience]�Ooh... -[Margaret]�Wow. 805 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,789 [Shane] Looks�great. 806 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:11,999 [Taylor] I�don't�know�why 807 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,542 I�have�to�be on�TV�right�now,�but... 808 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:15,502 All�right,�we're�done.�Let's�go, we�got�to�go,�we�got�to�go. 809 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:16,838 -Come�on. -Okay,�okay. 810 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,048 Oh,�wait,�don't�forget�this. 811 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:22,050 You�want�a�girl that�can�just,�you�know, 812 00:29:22,051 --> 00:29:23,051 really�go�up... 813 00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:24,178 -And�down.�Yeah. -...and�go�down. 814 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,806 -[laughter] -We�like�that... 815 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,184 [Shane] All�right,�good�luck,�have�fun. 816 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:32,896 -She�looks�great. -She�does,�yeah. 817 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:34,897 ALICE: Okay,�contestant�number�three. 818 00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,733 Same�question. 819 00:29:36,734 --> 00:29:38,400 -Number�three? -Don't�be�shy. 820 00:29:38,401 --> 00:29:40,110 [Margaret] Don't�be�shy,�number�three. 821 00:29:40,111 --> 00:29:42,112 -Okay,�go�answer�the�question. -[Margaret]�Number�three? 822 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,447 Okay,�okay. What's�the�question? 823 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:44,990 Say�something funny�about�yourself. 824 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:48,703 Um.�Something,�um... I'm,�uh... 825 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:49,828 Something�funny�about�me? 826 00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:51,163 I'm�from�Normal,�Illinois. 827 00:29:51,164 --> 00:29:53,540 [Alice]�That's�more of�a�fact�than�a�joke, 828 00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:55,668 but,�okay,�I'll�play. 829 00:29:55,710 --> 00:29:57,420 What's�so�normal�about�it? 830 00:29:57,421 --> 00:29:58,879 [Margaret] And�would�I�fit�in? 831 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,799 Um,�uh,�the�people, 832 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,177 I-I�guess,�make�it�normal,�um... 833 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:06,346 That�voice�sounds�so�familiar. 834 00:30:06,387 --> 00:30:09,808 So,�number�three,�what's the�most�embarrassing�thing 835 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,935 that's�ever�happened�to�you? 836 00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,645 I�mean,�well,�this�moment 837 00:30:13,646 --> 00:30:15,771 -would�have�to�be�up�there. -[laughter] 838 00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,482 And,�number�three, 839 00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:20,151 who�is�your�hero,�and�why? 840 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:25,073 Oh,�gosh,�um... was�it�animal�or�human? 841 00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,784 -[laughter] -Aw,�that's�so�cute. 842 00:30:27,785 --> 00:30:29,243 upbeat,�energetic�music 843 00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:31,203 -All�right,�I�got�one�for�you. -What's�that? 844 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:35,375 One�time,�after�a�bottle of�Goldschläger,�remember�that? 845 00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:38,545 One-way�bus�ticket, Kansas�City�to�L.A. 846 00:30:38,546 --> 00:30:40,462 Just�picked�up everything�and�moved. 847 00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:41,548 God,�I�hate�moving. 848 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:43,465 It's�like�the�worst�thing in�the�world�to�me. 849 00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:45,509 Yeah,�but�at�least I�used�to�do�stuff. 850 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,760 It's�like,�being�sober 851 00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:48,554 makes�it�harder�to�make those�moves,�you�know? 852 00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:49,681 Mm-hmm. 853 00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:52,641 Like,�I've�got�a�whole�list of�shit�I�just�haven't�done. 854 00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,435 Really,�like�what? 855 00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:57,521 I�mean,�I�got�this college�application. 856 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,773 It's�been�saved�on my�desktop�for�months. 857 00:30:59,774 --> 00:31:00,941 It's�due�at�midnight, 858 00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:02,359 and�I�just,�like, I�can't�pull�the�trigger. 859 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,735 [Carrie] Well,�you�got�to�do�that 860 00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:05,988 or�you're�gonna�regret�it your�whole�life,�you�know? 861 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:06,947 [Misty] Okay. 862 00:31:06,948 --> 00:31:08,199 So�everything's�done. 863 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,034 Um,�if�you�have�any�problems, your�boss�has�my�info. 864 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:13,495 Again,�I'm-I'm�really�sorry about�everything. 865 00:31:13,496 --> 00:31:15,664 -Yeah. -Really,�the�nose�and,�you�know. 866 00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:18,041 But�the�tampons�worked. Your�nose�looks�perfect. 867 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:20,377 [Carrie]�I�think�it�looks�better than�when�I�came�in. 868 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,255 -[laughs]�It�was�fun,�so... -Yeah. 869 00:31:22,256 --> 00:31:23,755 You�know,�it�was- it�wasn't�good, 870 00:31:23,756 --> 00:31:24,882 but�it�was�good,�you�know? 871 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,133 -Right.�Okay. -All�right. 872 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,593 -Bye.�It's,�um... -[Misty]�Yeah,�sorry. 873 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:29,470 Good�night. 874 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,097 You�like�her. 875 00:31:31,180 --> 00:31:32,807 I�don't�know�her. 876 00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:34,349 You�ask�her�out, I'll�send�in 877 00:31:34,350 --> 00:31:36,811 -my�college�application. -[door�closes] 878 00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:38,770 Deal. 879 00:31:38,771 --> 00:31:39,939 -Wait,�what? -Deal. 880 00:31:39,940 --> 00:31:41,231 No,�I�was�fucking�around! 881 00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:44,068 -No,�you�send�that�shit. -Fuck. 882 00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:46,487 Wow,�she's�doing�it.�Okay. 883 00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:49,532 [sputters] 884 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:52,493 upbeat,�energetic�music 885 00:31:52,535 --> 00:31:56,581 Okay. [sighs] 886 00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,668 Holy�shit,�I�did�it. 887 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:03,337 -I�did�it.�Did�you�do�it? -I�did�it. 888 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:04,588 -[screams] -I�did�it! 889 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,256 -[laughing] -Can�you�believe�it? 890 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:07,466 -No! -Thursday�night. 891 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:08,884 -You�got�a�date. -Well,�no. 892 00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:10,427 -It's�not�actually�a�date. -What�is�it? 893 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:12,555 I�sort�of�joined her�bowling�league. 894 00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:13,764 I'm�the�newest�member�of 895 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:16,267 "I�Can't�Believe It's�Not�Gutter." 896 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:18,686 [chuckles�softly] You�know�what? 897 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,820 Playing�the�long�game. I'll�take�it. 898 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,025 [radio�playing] 899 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:25,151 Okay. 900 00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,487 Mama,�Gloria, 901 00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:28,821 I'm�heading�out�now. 902 00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:32,075 Don't�be�late,�Deb, I've�got�a�shift�at�8:00. 903 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:34,369 Mama,�it's�me. 904 00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:37,288 Remember,�your�sister�Deb is�in�Florida. 905 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:38,790 Oh,�right. 906 00:32:38,831 --> 00:32:40,917 You�never�should've�married�him. 907 00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:42,668 [radio�announcer] Speaking�of�songs�of�yesterday, 908 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:46,172 here's�Carly�Simon�with�her�hit, "You�Belong�to�Me." 909 00:32:46,173 --> 00:32:48,006 ["You�Belong�to�Me" by�Carly�Simon�playing] 910 00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,593 [Patty] This�is�my�song. 911 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,641 Oh,�my�God. 912 00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:03,356 [laughs] She�used�to�blast�this�song 913 00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:07,193 in�the�car�when�she�would drive�me�to�school. 914 00:33:07,194 --> 00:33:09,027 Were�you�looking for�my�reaction? 915 00:33:09,028 --> 00:33:11,698 Like,�lean�out�the�window smoking�cigarettes. 916 00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:16,327 It�would�piss all�the�other�moms�off�so�much. 917 00:33:16,369 --> 00:33:17,996 I�believe�it. 918 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:22,750 Carly�Simon�once�bummed a�cigarette�from�me. 919 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:26,671 You�never�told�me�that. That�is�so�cool! 920 00:33:26,754 --> 00:33:30,591 There's�certain�things�a�mother should�never�tell�her�daughter. 921 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,510 [both�laughing] 922 00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,345 Come�dance�with�me,�come�on. 923 00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:37,140 I�would�love�to. 924 00:33:39,308 --> 00:33:41,060 You�belong�to�me 925 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,646 Tell�her, tell�her�you�were�fooling 926 00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,606 You�belong�to�me 927 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,859 You�don't�even�know�her 928 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:49,694 You�belong�to�me 929 00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,321 Tell�her�that�I�love�you 930 00:33:52,405 --> 00:33:55,700 You�belong�to�me 931 00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:58,118 [Shane]�So�you've�been working�here�how�long? 932 00:33:58,119 --> 00:34:01,372 Like�six,�seven�months...�ish? 933 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:02,665 -Really? -Yeah. 934 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:06,544 -Surprised�I�hadn't�met�you. -Well,�you�didn't�look. 935 00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:08,629 -I�didn't�know. -Oh,�okay. 936 00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:10,173 [chuckles] 937 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:13,146 You�know,�it�didn't�take�you that�long�to,�like, 938 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,343 jump�right�back�in. 939 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,261 -And�you�did�that,�so... -No,�no,�no,�no,�don't- 940 00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:17,721 You�can't�give�me that�kind�of�credit. 941 00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:20,308 I�was-�I�was following�your�lead. 942 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:22,060 Mm. 943 00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,151 "Bad"�by�Azure 944 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:32,070 Come�with�me. 945 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,243 [door�closes] 946 00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:45,833 Red�wine�stained�keys, a�melody 947 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:50,838 Suffocation�of a�broken�heart 948 00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:57,261 Violently�sweet, till�I�bleed 949 00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:01,265 Your�cigarettes, they�linger�on�my�mouth 950 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:04,852 Oh,�I�never�should�have let�you�call�me�baby 951 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:08,397 It�burns�every�time I�hear�it�lately 952 00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:11,734 I've�come�undone 953 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,114 Oh,�I�never�thought�I'd�drown in�your�ocean�eyes 954 00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:20,243 A�part�of�me�lives on�your�bedside 955 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:26,374 I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad 956 00:35:26,415 --> 00:35:28,668 Can't�get�you�out�of�my�head 957 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:33,339 Maybe�I'm�crazy�'cause I�don't�care�if�you�hate�me 958 00:35:33,422 --> 00:35:37,385 I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad 959 00:35:37,426 --> 00:35:40,096 Can't�get�you�out�of�my�head 960 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:44,684 Maybe�I'm�crazy�'cause I�don't�care�if�you�hate�me 961 00:35:44,767 --> 00:35:49,814 I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad 962 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:56,112 Don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad 963 00:35:57,113 --> 00:36:00,074 So,�what-what�is�going�on between�you�two? 964 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:01,166 Nothing. 965 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,244 I�can�feel�it,�okay? 966 00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:06,164 On�the�ambulance, our�lips�touched. 967 00:36:06,165 --> 00:36:07,581 [stammers] It�was�nothing. 968 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:09,958 -It�was�an�accident. -Are�you�trying�to�hurt�me? 969 00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:11,418 Of�course�I'm�not�trying to�hurt�you. 970 00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,504 Okay,�then, what�we�have�is�good. 971 00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:15,131 Why�are�you�doing�this? 972 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,591 We�have�a�good�thing. 973 00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:18,384 I'm�just... 974 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:20,887 I'm�confused. 975 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:22,555 You're�confused? 976 00:36:22,638 --> 00:36:25,349 When�I...�got�hit... 977 00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:28,686 ...I�saw�Nat�and�the�kids. 978 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,564 And�not�me. 979 00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:34,232 I�don't�know�what�it�means. That's�why�I'm�telling�you. 980 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:36,527 What�are�you�saying�to�me right�now? 981 00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:43,826 [sighs]�I�don't�know, I�need�time. 982 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:48,831 Okay.�You�take�your�time. 983 00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,374 I'm�done. 984 00:36:52,110 --> 00:36:56,963 [Taylor]�And�this�all happened�in�the�backseat 985 00:36:56,964 --> 00:36:58,344 of�the�family�Astro�van. 986 00:36:58,382 --> 00:37:01,010 [audience�laughing] 987 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,179 Oh,�shit. Um,�you�know�what? 988 00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:06,692 Uh,�Miss�Cho,�could�you�actually just�forget�I�said�that? 989 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,142 Oh,�contestant�three, 990 00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:11,103 I�don't�think I�can�unring�that�bell. 991 00:37:11,104 --> 00:37:14,022 There's�no�shame�in�masturbating in�the�back�of�your�family's�car 992 00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:15,774 as�long�as your�family's�not�there. 993 00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:19,111 [Margaret]�No�shame�at�all, three.�No�shame. 994 00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:21,864 -For�me�there�is�a�little. -[bell�tinkling] 995 00:37:21,865 --> 00:37:23,281 Oh,�you�know what�that�bell�means, 996 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:26,202 we�have�time for�one�last�question. 997 00:37:26,203 --> 00:37:28,828 -What�do�you�think,�Alice? -I�think�I'm�ready. 998 00:37:28,829 --> 00:37:30,790 -Okay. -It's�very�simple. 999 00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,083 [Margaret] Yes. 1000 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:34,043 Why�do�you�want�to�date�me? 1001 00:37:34,126 --> 00:37:36,212 What's�not�to�love? 1002 00:37:36,295 --> 00:37:37,505 Aww! 1003 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:41,300 Smart,�sexy�and�beautiful. The�full�package. 1004 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,261 [audience�murmuring] 1005 00:37:43,262 --> 00:37:44,594 We�should�do�this�every�episode. 1006 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:46,430 [audience�laughing] 1007 00:37:46,472 --> 00:37:48,182 Uh,�well,�they�promised�me 1008 00:37:48,183 --> 00:37:50,058 a�coffee�mug if�I�did�the�show,�so... 1009 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:51,769 [loud�laughter] 1010 00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:52,861 The�free�mug? 1011 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,357 [laughing]�Wow. What�do�you�say,�Alice? 1012 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,110 Loveable, full�package,�free�mug. 1013 00:37:59,151 --> 00:38:03,072 And�unlike�women's reproductive�rights�in�America, 1014 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:04,854 this�choice�is�entirely�yours. 1015 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:07,201 -[murmured�agreements] -[Alice�sighs] 1016 00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:09,160 I�don't�know,�Margaret. They're�all�so�dateable. 1017 00:38:09,161 --> 00:38:12,290 [audience�yelling�numbers] 1018 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,880 Mm...�There's�one�person 1019 00:38:19,922 --> 00:38:22,758 that�I�would�like to�get�to�know�better. 1020 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,386 Contestant�three,�I�choose�you! 1021 00:38:25,469 --> 00:38:28,514 -[confetti�popping] -[cheering] 1022 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,026 [Margaret] Contestant�three,�come�on�down. 1023 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,810 Two�and�one, 1024 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:34,102 uh,�meet�me�in�my�dressing�room. 1025 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:36,522 -You. -It's�me. 1026 00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:38,774 -[laughs] -The�coffee�stand. 1027 00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:40,276 Yeah. 1028 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:41,569 You're�funny. 1029 00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:43,570 [chuckles] For�a�regular�gal.�Yeah. 1030 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,031 [Margaret] All�right. 1031 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:48,534 We're�here,�we're�queer! 1032 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,619 And�we�have�love. 1033 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:52,370 -Love�is�love�is�love! -Love�it. 1034 00:38:52,371 --> 00:38:56,042 Until�the�Supreme�Court takes�that�away�from�us,�too. 1035 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:57,418 [laughter,�cheering] 1036 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,338 And�pee�after�sex, everyone,�don't�forget! 1037 00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:04,633 Thank�you�so�much�for having�me,�Alice,�thank�you. 1038 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:07,470 Good�night,�everyone! 1039 00:39:10,264 --> 00:39:11,849 Are�you�okay? 1040 00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,313 No. 1041 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:22,272 You�can�sleep�on�my�couch, if�you�want. 1042 00:39:22,276 --> 00:39:24,278 No,�I'm�fine�on�my�own. 1043 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,782 [sighs]�But�you�should really�let�me�drive. 1044 00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:31,202 Oh,�don't�worry, I�only�had�a�couple�sips. 1045 00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:33,745 I�just�mean�you're a�really�bad�driver. 1046 00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:35,790 [Dani] Fuck�you!�Fuck�you! 1047 00:39:35,791 --> 00:39:37,957 -[Nat]�Whoa! -[Gigi]�Jesus,�what�is- 1048 00:39:37,958 --> 00:39:39,043 What�is�that? 1049 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:40,418 -[Gigi]�Can�you�please�drive? -Fuck�you! 1050 00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:41,920 -They're�my�oranges! -Yeah,�go! 1051 00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:43,671 -[Gigi]�Can�you�please�drive? -[Nat]�Those�are�a�gift! 1052 00:39:43,672 --> 00:39:45,507 -Nat,�could�you�please�drive? -[Nat]�I�spent�$20�on�them. 1053 00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:46,883 I�understand, could�you�please-? 1054 00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:48,760 -That�was�for�my�ex!�Our�ex. -Jesus. 1055 00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:51,180 [tires�screeching] 1056 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,349 [groans] 1057 00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:55,101 [pants] 1058 00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,269 slow,�dramatic�music 1059 00:39:58,979 --> 00:40:01,107 slow,�funky�music 1060 00:40:05,486 --> 00:40:06,612 [Sophie] ...so�much. 1061 00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:09,407 I'll�see�you�tomorrow,�okay? Good�job. 1062 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:14,370 -[sighs] -�Been�feeling�defeated 1063 00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:17,164 Oh,�no... 1064 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,707 Hey. 1065 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,168 What�the�hell�happened�to�you? 1066 00:40:22,042 --> 00:40:24,754 This�is�the�second�time 1067 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,424 that�the�person�I�wanted�to marry�ran�off�with�someone�else. 1068 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,677 Ha�ha. 1069 00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:33,889 Oh...�orange? 1070 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:37,726 -Yeah.�Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 1071 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:38,936 [grunts] 1072 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,981 Don't�fall�down,�baby, don't�fall�down 1073 00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:43,899 Don't�fall,�just... 1074 00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:47,236 -Hey,�you're�gonna�be�okay. -Mm. 1075 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:49,280 You�got�this. You'll�bounce�back. 1076 00:40:49,363 --> 00:40:50,489 You... [chuckles] 1077 00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:52,699 You're�the�most together�person�I�know. 1078 00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:55,703 [scoffs] Not�anymore. 1079 00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:59,915 -Turns�out,�that's�you. -[laughs] 1080 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:03,878 I�don't...�mm, I�don't�know�about�that. 1081 00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,046 You're�crushing�at�work. 1082 00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:07,964 Made�it�through�rehab with�Finley. 1083 00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:11,594 Been�going�through�changes 1084 00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,762 Oh... 1085 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:14,930 Hey,�um, 1086 00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:18,642 I�was�just�gonna�grab�my�stuff and�go�home.�[chuckles] 1087 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:22,104 -Yeah.�Me,�too. -[clears�throat] 1088 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,273 Threw�it�all�away 1089 00:41:24,356 --> 00:41:27,735 Everyone�makes mistakes,�yeah 1090 00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:31,530 Oh,�no,�don't�fall�down... 1091 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:33,741 Hey,�uh... 1092 00:41:33,782 --> 00:41:35,367 You�want�to�come�over? 1093 00:41:35,868 --> 00:41:39,205 Don't�fall�down,�baby, don't�fall�down... 1094 00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:40,831 Um...�Are�you...? 1095 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:42,832 Are�you�trying�to�get�back together�with�me�right�now? 1096 00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:44,283 -[laughing] -Because,�um... 1097 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:47,755 No.�No,�no. 1098 00:41:47,796 --> 00:41:49,924 Not�a�fucking�chance. 1099 00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:52,885 Yeah.�I'll�see�you at�the�house�then. 1100 00:41:52,968 --> 00:41:54,595 -Okay. -Yeah. 1101 00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:55,637 See�you�later. 1102 00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:59,642 Things�are�gonna�get�better 1103 00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:05,022 Things�are�gonna�get�better 1104 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,859 I�was,�like, this�close�to�falling. 1105 00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:10,528 [laughing] I�was�like... 1106 00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:12,947 -Hey!�We�did�it! -[cheering] 1107 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:14,281 [whooping] 1108 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,243 Great�job,�everybody. Great�job. 1109 00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:19,411 [upbeat�music�playing] 1110 00:42:21,908 --> 00:42:23,873 Hey! 1111 00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:25,709 Are�you-are�you�leaving? 1112 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,335 The�party's�just getting�started. 1113 00:42:27,336 --> 00:42:29,713 Yeah,�yeah, I'm�just�gonna�head�home. 1114 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:33,842 You�don't�want�to�cash�in on�that�big�date? 1115 00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:35,010 [laughs] 1116 00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,304 -Really,�no,�it's-it's�okay. -Oh. 1117 00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:39,515 I�mean,�hey, I-I�got�the�free�mug. 1118 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:42,184 They�threw�in two�extra�T-shirts,�so... 1119 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:43,435 -Nice. -I'm�good. 1120 00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:45,229 Yeah,�that's�enough. 1121 00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:46,480 -Hey,�listen... -Yeah? 1122 00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:49,066 ...really,�congratulations on�everything. 1123 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:52,611 I�mean,�you�should�be really�proud�of�all�of�it. 1124 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:56,574 Big�chef's�kiss�for�you and�your�big�night. 1125 00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:06,834 Um,�you're�not�regular. 1126 00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:09,253 Yes,�I�am. [chuckles] 1127 00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,963 Well,�so�am�I. 1128 00:43:11,046 --> 00:43:15,509 There's�a�45-foot�picture of�you�outside. 1129 00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:18,429 Okay,�I've�been�you. 1130 00:43:18,430 --> 00:43:20,471 A�long�time�ago, I�dated�someone�famous 1131 00:43:20,472 --> 00:43:22,599 when�I�wasn't, so�I�know�it's�different. 1132 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,102 But�I'm�just�a�person. 1133 00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:28,688 And�I�like�your�weird sense�of�humor. 1134 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:30,690 You�know,�that's, that's�not�the�compliment 1135 00:43:30,691 --> 00:43:32,651 I�think�you�think�it�is. 1136 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:33,902 And�you're�cute. 1137 00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:37,740 Well,�you�know,�I�can't�speak to�that�one�so�much,�so... 1138 00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:40,909 Come�on,�one�date. One�regular�date. 1139 00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:43,579 What�do�you�say?�Just... 1140 00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:45,705 You�can�keep�the�T-shirts. 1141 00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:46,957 [chuckles] 1142 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:48,601 I�don't�know�about�the�mug. 1143 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,210 [laughing] 1144 00:43:50,252 --> 00:43:55,007 I�cannot�believe�I�missed Alice�in�a�straitjacket. 1145 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:57,699 -[laughing] -I�know,�and�that�Velcro�target? 1146 00:43:57,700 --> 00:43:58,968 Oh,�my�God,�that�was�a�hit. 1147 00:43:58,969 --> 00:44:00,637 -It�was�so�good. -[shrieks]�I'm�sure. 1148 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,723 -[laughs] -Oh. 1149 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,684 [Sophie] Well,�um,�yeah,�I�think 1150 00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:07,935 -Shane's�backstage�somewhere- -Hey,�Tess. 1151 00:44:07,936 --> 00:44:09,104 You�showed�up. 1152 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:11,607 -Hi. -Hi. 1153 00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:13,150 Yeah. [kisses] 1154 00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:15,486 -I'm�sorry�I'm�late. -Oh. 1155 00:44:15,487 --> 00:44:16,778 I�would�have�been�here�sooner, 1156 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,529 it's�just�my�mom�was having�this,�like, 1157 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:20,823 -really�amazing�moment- -It's�okay,�it's�okay. 1158 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:23,285 -Yeah,�it's�okay. -Okay. 1159 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:24,578 Um... 1160 00:44:25,287 --> 00:44:28,832 I'm�sorry�I�snapped at�you�earlier. 1161 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:31,627 All�is�forgiven. 1162 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,719 Yeah. 1163 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:34,671 But�I�think�they�wrapped, didn't�they,�Sophie? 1164 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,005 -[Tess]�Oh. -Yeah,�we�wrapped. 1165 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,590 -[Shane]�Yeah. -Yeah,�but�there's... 1166 00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:38,967 there's�a�party. 1167 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,678 I�know,�but�I'm�exhausted. 1168 00:44:40,761 --> 00:44:42,137 -Okay. -Is�that�okay? 1169 00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:43,421 Can�we�just�go�home? 1170 00:44:43,422 --> 00:44:44,555 That's�okay,�let's�go�home. 1171 00:44:44,556 --> 00:44:45,932 -You�sure? -Yeah,�let's�go�home. 1172 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:47,475 I'm�sorry�you�drove all�the�way�over�here, 1173 00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:48,393 -but�is�that�all�right? -No,�it's�fine. 1174 00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:49,770 Okay. 1175 00:44:49,812 --> 00:44:50,979 Thank�you,�Sophie. 1176 00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:52,480 [Sophie] Bye,�guys,�have�a�good�night. 1177 00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:53,774 -Bye. -Bye,�Soph. 1178 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,026 Bye. 1179 00:44:57,903 --> 00:45:00,322 Great�show. 1180 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,615 Uh... 1181 00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:03,742 Uh,�same-same�to�you. 1182 00:45:03,743 --> 00:45:05,535 'Cause�I'd�really, really�miss�ya 1183 00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:07,955 So�cool,�cool,�cool, baby,�shake�that 1184 00:45:07,956 --> 00:45:10,331 You're�the�best�in�the�room, you�don't�have�to�try 1185 00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:12,502 Show�no�fear when�you�cross�the�line 1186 00:45:12,503 --> 00:45:14,460 Even�when�it�rains, you�bring�the�shine... 1187 00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:15,420 [Micah] Hey. 1188 00:45:15,421 --> 00:45:17,214 [Finley] What...?�What'd�I�say? 1189 00:45:17,215 --> 00:45:19,173 Relax,�I'm�just�going to�get�something�to�drink, 1190 00:45:19,174 --> 00:45:20,384 go�to�my�room, 1191 00:45:20,385 --> 00:45:22,051 and�you�can�have�your�special night�with�Sophie. 1192 00:45:22,052 --> 00:45:23,469 -You'll�be�fine. -Thank�you. 1193 00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:25,389 -I�love�you. -Yeah.�You,�too.�Hey. 1194 00:45:25,390 --> 00:45:27,432 Hey,�you�know,�if�there's any�leftovers, 1195 00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:29,435 that�steak�looks�amazing. 1196 00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:31,687 It's�chicken. 1197 00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:33,981 -Oh. -[door�opens] 1198 00:45:34,064 --> 00:45:35,357 Hey. 1199 00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:36,491 Hey! 1200 00:45:36,525 --> 00:45:39,486 -[chuckles]�What�is�this? -We're�celebrating. 1201 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,405 -We�are? -Yeah. 1202 00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,575 -Your�100th�episode. -Aww. 1203 00:45:44,658 --> 00:45:46,618 And... [kisses] 1204 00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:48,203 I�applied�to�college. 1205 00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:49,371 Stop. 1206 00:45:49,413 --> 00:45:50,956 -What?�[laughs] -I�know. 1207 00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:52,124 That's�amazing. 1208 00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:53,958 -I�know. -I'm�so�excited�for�you. 1209 00:45:53,959 --> 00:45:56,795 So�I�thought�we�could, you�know,�celebrate�us, 1210 00:45:56,837 --> 00:46:00,966 and�have�a�little romantic�dinner,�and�then, 1211 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:04,553 -you�know,�maybe�after... -Oh,�okay. 1212 00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:05,678 Oh. 1213 00:46:05,679 --> 00:46:07,431 -Hi. -Hi.�[laughs] 1214 00:46:07,514 --> 00:46:09,016 -Hi. -Hey.�Sorry. 1215 00:46:09,057 --> 00:46:13,020 [quietly]�I�tried�to�call�you. Gigi�broke�up�with�her. 1216 00:46:13,021 --> 00:46:16,189 Figured�I'd�come�piss in�your�hallway�for�a�change. 1217 00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:17,399 [Finley] Oh. 1218 00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:21,612 I�mean,�if�that'd�be�helpful, by�all�means,�please�do. 1219 00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,615 Truce? 1220 00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:28,701 Now�what�I�really�want�to�do is�pull�you�into�a�big�old�hug. 1221 00:46:28,702 --> 00:46:31,288 -You�shouldn't�do�that.�Yeah. -And�I�won't. 1222 00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:33,415 [gasps] Is�that�cake? 1223 00:46:33,416 --> 00:46:34,791 -Yes,�it�is. -[Micah]�I�heard�Dani. 1224 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,209 Which�means�it's�not a�date�night. 1225 00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,752 -Not�anymore. -I�want�some�of�that�cake. 1226 00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:40,005 -Wait,�you�made�cake? -[laughing]�No. 1227 00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:42,048 I�was�with�the, uh,�plumber�all�day. 1228 00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,301 But�I�picked�up � tres�leches, 1229 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:48,138 and�I�also�found�out�what the � tres�leches � were�today. 1230 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:50,766 Uh,�what�did�you�think they�were�before? 1231 00:46:50,849 --> 00:46:51,975 Mmm. 1232 00:46:52,017 --> 00:46:54,269 Cow,�goat�and�breast. 1233 00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:56,230 -Wow. -No. 1234 00:46:56,231 --> 00:46:57,313 [laughing] 1235 00:46:57,314 --> 00:46:58,856 So,�you�thought they�put�breast�milk...? 1236 00:46:58,857 --> 00:47:01,026 Ooh,�there's�got�to�be 1237 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:03,862 Something�more out�there�for�me 1238 00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:07,616 Ooh,�I've�got�to�keep my�head�up 1239 00:47:07,699 --> 00:47:09,409 Keep�my�head�up 1240 00:47:09,451 --> 00:47:11,662 Ooh,�there's�nothing�like 1241 00:47:11,703 --> 00:47:14,206 Rising�up�after�the�fight 1242 00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:18,335 Ooh,�I've�got�to�keep my�head�up 1243 00:47:18,385 --> 00:47:22,935 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 95991

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.