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Original subtitles

pulsing,�energetic�music

[Dani] How'd�it�go�with�Nat?

Did�she�give�us�permission to�live�together?

She�didn't�say�no.

She�just�said�she�wants�to know�you�better.

Are�you�dating�me�or�her?

Oh,�my.�Daniela...

I�think�I'm�gonna�go back�to�school.

[Sophie] I�mean,�wow,�that's�incredible.

[Angie] Are�you�breaking�up�with�me?

Worst�first�night of�college�ever.

[Kayla] � I�mean,�you're�single and�in�L.A.

Ooh.

This�could�be,�like, my�ho�phase.

[Shane] � You�and�me, let's�open�that�second�bar.

I'll�do�anything�with�you.

Oh,�no. You've�got�the�itch.

What�itch?

[Alice] Things�get�too�real,

you�get�restless,

and�then�you�start�to, like,�wiggle.

Please.�I�don't�wiggle.

I�need�to�go.

[Alice�and�Bette] Yes.

[Bette] � I�need�to�go! Oh,�my�God.

[Tina] � You're...�you're�not thinking�clearly.

You�love�it�here.

You�love�your�friends and�your�job.

[Bette] That's�true.

That's�all�true, but�I�love�you�more.

Please,�may�I�come�with�you?

No,�they�just�have something�real,�you�know.

That�would�be�nice.

[Daniela] I'm�sorry�for�reacting

the�way�I�did�earlier.

I�love�you.

I�don't�find�trouble,�yeah

Trouble�finds�me

[sirens�wailing]

[helicopter�blades�whirring]

[indistinct�radio�chatter]

You�look�good,

but�we�should�bring�you�in for�observation.

[Gigi] Okay.�Thank�you�so�much.

[paramedic] White�female,�conscious,

presenting�with�head�injuries...

Hi.

Hey,�you.

gentle�music

-Whoa. -That's�my�face.

-Sorry. -Mm.

I�think�I�might�have�just pressed�glass�into�your�skin.

You've�always�been�good in�crisis.

-Yeah. -[paramedic]�Sorry,�ma'am.

[Dani]�Hey,�I'm�looking for�my�girlfriend.

-[paramedic]�Yeah,�she's�there. -[Dani]�Oh,�thank�you.

Hey.

Hey,�I�got�here as�fast�as�I�could.

Great.

Oh,�my�God.

-Are�you�okay? -I�am�okay.

[Nat] I'll�just�wait�outside.

-Ow,�ow,�ow,�ow,�ow. -Sorry.

I'll�be�right�back,�okay?

Nat?

[Dani�sighs]

Uh,�thank�you�for�getting�here

-as�fast�as�you�did. -Oh.

Yeah,�I'm�her�emergency�contact,

so�I�had�a�head�start.

Oh,�well,�that's...

Which�we�should�change, you�know?

It�should�be�you.

Right.

[paramedic] Only�one�of�you�can�ride.

Oh,�that-that's�me.

Yeah.

[Nat]�Well,�call�me if�you�need�anything.

I'll�be�around.

"Trouble's�Comin'" by�Rayelle

It's�going�down,�down,�down

You�can�feel�it�all�around, round,�round

Ain't�no�way�to�stop�it�now, now,�now

Better�start�running

Running,�running

[stage�bell�ringing]

[Alice] Can�you�believe

they�let�me�make�this�show a�hundred�times?

Yes.�It's�gonna�be a�great�show.

Oh,�my�God, the�dating�show�segment?

-Yeah. -Genius.

Thank�you. The�flowers�look�great.

And�all�the�contestants have�been�vetted,�right?

Yes.

Okay,�'cause�I'm�looking for�the�one.

Right.�No�cults, no�mixed�martial�arts�and...

[assistant] What�do�you�think?

-Yes. -[assistant]�You�got�it.

...no�improvisers�of�any�kind.

Yeah,�that�last�one's very�important.

-[sighs] -What�if�this�really�works?

I�mean,�what�if I�find�my�person?

-Oh,�my�God!�Yeah. -Wouldn't�it�be�amazing?

-Soso�and�Allyce? -That's�us.

I'm�sorry�if I'm�butchering�those.

My�coworker�Kim�here�got�bit by�a�pig�at�her�family�reunion

and�her�thumb hasn't�been�the�same.

-Oh,�sorry�about�your�thumb. -[Kim]�Thanks.

Right,�well,�I'll�see�you out�there.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh!�You.�Alice.

Uh,�yeah,�that's�me. [chuckles]

[Taylor] Yeah,�I�mean,

I�guess�I�shouldn't�be�surprised given�where�I�am,

I�mean,�physically...

-Oh,�in�the... -Here.�Yeah.

-Yeah.�Lines�up. -Yeah.

'Cause�the�show's called � Alice...

Hang�on.

I�can�add�a�little�something special�here.

Kim�usually�does�the�latte�art,

but�I'll�give�it�my�best�shot.

Ta-da.

-Oh,�you�made�a,�um... -I�can�do�a�heart,

but�that�just�felt a�little�obvious,

so�I�went�with�chaos.

Or�a�little�modern�art.

[chuckling] It�was�nice�to�meet�you.

-Yeah,�you,�too. -Good�luck�on�the�show.

Oh,�are�you�gonna�stay and�watch?

[Taylor] No,�no,�no,�no.

Um,�I'll�have�to�overanalyze this�conversation

for�like�two�hours,�so...

Why?�It's�going�so�well.

[laughs]

No,�you�should�stay�and�watch.

It's-it's�nice�to�have real�fans�in�the�audience

and�not�just�confused tourists�who�think

they're�here�to�see�Ellen.

[chuckling] Sold.

Okay,�great.

slow,�wistful�music

[door�opens]

[door�closes]

-Hey. -Hey.

Going�to�the�new�bar. Want�to�break�some�shit?

-Uh...�yeah. -Yeah?

That�actually�sounds�like a�dream�come�true.

[Shane] Let's�go.

[Finley] Holy�shit.

-[Shane]�Let's�have�some�fun. -�"Pony"�by�Ginuwine

I'm�just�a�bachelor

I'm�looking�for�a�partner

Someone�who�knows how�to�ride

Without�even�falling�off

Got�to�be�compatible

Takes�me�to�my�limits

Girl,�when�I�break�you�off

I�promise�that�you�won't wanna�get�off

If�you're�horny

Let's�do�it, ride�it,�my�pony

My�saddle's�waiting

Come�and�jump�on�it

If�you're�horny,�let's�do�it

Ride�it,�my�pony

My�saddle's�waiting

Come�and�jump�on�it

[grunting]

Hey.

[panting]

You�think�I'd�be,�like, good�at�school?

[panting] What?

You�know,�like,�college.

I�don't�know. Were�you�any�good�before?

-No,�not�really. -[door�opens]

Yes,�I�love�that�place. I'll�meet�you�there.�Um...

Sorry,�can�you�hold�on just�one�second.

Um,�hi.�What�the�hell�do�the�two of�you�think�you're�doing?

We�don't�start�demo until�tomorrow.

[Shane] I�know.�I�know,�I�know,�I�know,

but�we�got�a�head�start, and�look�how�much�we�got�done.

I�mean,�check�that�out.

Come�on. Come�on,�have�a�whack.

It's�a�maj�stress�reliever. Have�a�whack.

No,�Finley,�I�don't�want�to give�it�a�whack.

All�right.�Your�loss.

Oh,�shit!�Fuck!

Okay.

I'm�gonna�stop�the�water.

I�got�it! I�got�it!

Finley,�go�around�the�corner.

It's�not�a�big�deal,�Tess.

-Truly.�Just�calm�down. -You�there?

Yeah,�actually, can�you�meet�me�here?

Great,�I'm�gonna�text�you the�address�right�now.

Okay,�bye.

This�is�exactly�why

you�should�not�be fucking�around�in�here.

-It's�just... -[Tess]�I�have�got�so�much

on�my�plate�already and�now,�this.

-Tess,�it's�just�an�accident. -You're�gonna�have�to�tell�Alice

that�I�can't�make�it�tonight

because�I'm�gonna�be�here waiting�for�a�plumber.

[Shane] Why?�No,�no,�no.

I�can�help�with�that.

Your�help�is�how�this�happened. So�thanks,�but�no�thanks.

[Shane�sighs]

[panting] All�right,�then.

I�should�just�stay out�of�your�way�then.

Hmm?

-Yeah. -Yeah,�I�will.

[sighs] Oh,�my�God.

slow,�tranquil�music

[Sophie] � Did�you�get the�chocolate�fountain?

[Dani]�Yup.�Whatever�Alice wants,�I'll�make�it�happen.

It's�her�show. [chuckles]

-Oh,�yeah. -Okay,�leaving�now.

-All�right,�see�you�there. -Bye.

Hi�and�bye.

Have�you�seen�my�other�earring? Is�it�in�the�bathroom?

I�didn't�see�it.

Mm.�I'm�sorry. [kisses]

Just�borrow�a�pair�of�mine.

Your�car's�gonna�be�here at�3:00.

He's�usually a�little�early,�so...

-[Gigi]�Okay. -[knock�on�door]

Not�that�early.

Oh,�it's...

Nat.

-Hi. -Hi.

Um...

Sorry,�what�are�you... what�are�you�doing�here?

Oh,�hi. Uh,�Gigi�just�called�me.

Oh.

I�can't�get�ready�on�my�own,

and�I�didn't�want�you to�be�late.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Happy�to�help.

-Right. -Yeah.

No.�Sure,�that's�great.

[chuckles]

Yeah.�Um,�I�will...

see�you...�both

at�Alice's�show�later�then?

[Nat] Oh,�yeah.

I�will�be�there.

Margaret�Cho is�on�my�bucket�list.

-[chuckles]�Not�to... -Great.

...fuck,�just�meet.

-Sure.�Right.�Um... -[chuckles]

All�right.�I�love�you.

Love�you.

Bye!

[door�opens]

-Hi! -Hi.

-How�are�you�doing? -[door�closes]

Uh,�I�feel�like�shit.

-[chuckles] -But�I'm�on�a�lot�of�drugs.

-Nice. -No,�I'm�good.

Honestly...�[stammers] I've�had�five�days�off.

I�can't�remember�the�last�time I�had�five�days�off.

Oh.�Well, I�actually�do�remember.

Yeah,�it�was�when�you�got�hand, foot�and�mouth�from�the�kids,

and�I�don't�think�you�went�out in�public�for,�like,�a�week.

Okay,�fine.

Last�time�was�when�I�had hand,�foot�and�mouth.

Yeah.

Do�you�want�to�talk�about...

...what�happened the�other�night?

No.

-[laughing] -All�right.�[chuckles]

I�mean,�honestly,�it�was...

it�was�nothing.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Right? -Mm.�Yes.

slow,�somber�music

Yeah,�no,�no. It's-it's�good,�Mom,�I�swear.

Jordi's�just...�having�trouble with�boundaries

and,�like,�texting�me�a�lot.

But�I'm�fine,�you�know?

I'm-I'm�excited�for�class, you�know?

I�feel�like�it's,�um...

a�fresh�start,�you�know?

Okay.�I�love�you.

Yes.�Yes,�yes, it's�on�my�keychain.

Okay.�I�love�you.�Bye.

[soft�chatter]

Hey,�y'all! Um,�my�name�is�Samuel�Hendrix.

I�am�your�professor.

We're�gonna�investigate�our own�individual�creativity,�'kay?

Um,�I�am�a�poet,

a�songwriter, a�lousy�piano�player

and�I�wrote�a�book�once.

That�therefore�qualifies�me

to�be�your�Introduction to�Creative�Writing�instructor.

-Welcome,�y'all. -[chuckling]

-Okay... -[whispers]�Fuck�me.

So...

we're�gonna...

we're�gonna�jump�right�in.

-Hey! -Hey!

-Happy�100th. -[gasps]

The�chart.

-Right? -Oh!

God,�where�it�all�began.

Just�a�reminder of�your�humble�beginnings.

I�love�it.�Let's�hang�it.

Take�that�down. I�can't�stand�this�picture.

I�did�your�hair�for�that.

Well,�I�like�my�hair.�I�just...

This�is�better.

[Shane] Right?

[Alice] Love�it!

-Ugh.�Oh- -Do�you�still�talk�to�her?

-No.�No,�no. -She�was�really�cute.

Um,�Bette�and�Tina�got�me

-those�flowers. -That's�nice.

-Pretty. -Glad�they're�making�it�work.

Mm.�Tom�got�me a�basket�of�Bic�pens.

-That's�odd. -Well,�you�know,�I�turned�down

-the�marriage�proposal. -Right.

But�he's�still�able to�be�a�good�friend.

Or�he's�still�hoping.

[sighs]

Honestly,�either�way�is�fine.

Is�this�for�me,�too?

-What?�Oh,�no,�no,�no,�no,�no. -This�one.

That's�just my�old�hair�products.

Oh.�Yeah,�I�don't�want�that.

I�know�you�don't,�but�Ivy�does.

And�I�figured I'd�give�'em�to�her,�so...

Okay.

Do�you�know where�I�can�find�her?

-Yeah.�Over�here. -[clears�throat]

You�two�really�hit�it�off the�other�night.

-No,�it�was�just�work. -Mm.

Where's�Tess?

Unfortunately, she's�not�able�to�make�it.

So�she�wanted�me to�send�you�her�love.

Well,�I'm�sorry she's�gonna�miss�it.

Me,�too.

Oh.�Real�quick-

don't�sit�in�the�front.

I�don't�want to�give�too�much�away,

but�there�is a�lube�slip-and-slide.

It�might�get�a�little�messy.

How�do�you�come�up with�this�shit?

Okay,�so,�VIPs�are�gonna�hang

-in�the � Alice � lounge. -Huh.

I�got�this�queer�winemaker to�sponsor�it.

Um,�the�list is�getting�pretty�long�though,

so�I'm�thinking�we�do�overflow in�the�greenroom.

All�right,�that�sounds...�good.

I�mean,�that'll�work.

-Um... -Oh,�hey,�how's�Gigi?

Uh,�you�know, ribs�take�a�while�to�heal.

But�other�than�that,�she's�fine.

Okay.�Well,�hey,�um... [clicks�tongue]

when's�she's�feeling�better,

why�don't�you�guys�come�over for�dinner?

-With�me�and�Finley. -Uh...

M-Maybe.

Ouch.

I�said�maybe.

-Come�on. -[scoffs]

-This�bitch. -�Didn't�see�that�coming

Didn't�see�that�coming

There's�also,�I�think, like,�a�pipe�or�something

-rattling�in�the�ceiling. -Okay.

Could�be�animals.

-Rats. -[Finley]�Uh-oh.

I�stopped�feeding�'em.

Okay,�I'm�gonna�check everything�out.

Okay,�great.�Thank�you.

If�you�need�anything�from�me, just�come

and�find�me. I'll�be�here�all�day.

-Sounds�great. -'Kay.

Tess,�please�don't�stay�here.

I'm�the�one that�broke�the�pipe.

I�know,�but-

Listen,�you�shouldn't�have to�stay�with�the�plumber.

I-I�want�to.�Really.�Please?

[stammers] No,�it's�fine.

My�sponsee's already�on�the�way�and-

I�got�the�highlighter. I�got�the�book.

-I�know�the�AA�deal. -[chuckles�softly]

-I�can't�ask�you�to�do�that. -No,

you're�not�asking.

Please?

I�want�to.

Let�me�make�this�right.

Come�on.�Go�be�with�Shane.

I�was...

way�harsh�on�her�earlier.

soft,�somber�music

[indistinct�chatter]

[Hendrix]�Next�week's�gonna�be a�deep�dive�into�structure,

so�be�ready�for�that.

Also,�if�you�want to�hear�some�great�writing,

my�buddy�is�doing�a�reading at�the�campus�bookstore.

Hi,�excuse�me. Will�you�just�wait�one�second?

-Yeah. -Um,�yeah,�that's�it.

Um,�hi.

Uh,�I�have�a�quick�question for�you.

[quietly] Um...

it�is�you,�right?

Yeah,�yeah,�yeah,�yeah, I�knew�it�was�you.�[laughs]

[laughs] Hi!

Um,�yes,�I�just-

I�wanted�to�say I'm�sorry�about...

like,�kissing�you the�other�night.

Um,�just�please�know�that�won't, like,�ever�happen�again.

I�had�just�broken�up with�my�first�girlfriend

who�I�was�in�love�with, and�my�moms�are,�like,

getting�back�together, which�is,�like,�a�whole�thing.

And�it's�my- it's�my�first�week�of�college.

Anyway,�I�just�want�you�to�know

if-if�you�want�me�to,�like, drop�your�class,�I�totally�will.

I'm�happy�you're�in�my�class.

Okay.

Okay.�Great.

I'll�see�you�next�week?

See�ya.

lighthearted�music

[chuckles]

[stage�manager] Give�Alice�five.

[assistant] I�thought�you�gave�Wardrobe�ten.

Yeah,�but�we�got�to�give�Alice five�so�she�gets�here�on�time.

-Oh,�gotcha. -[Shane]�No,�no,�it's�yours.

Thank�you.�Thank�you,�thank�you.

-You�don't�need�to�thank�me. -Five�minutes.

That�was�collecting�dust in�my�garage.

What?

This�is�literally�liquid�gold.

Y'all�hear�that? Nobody�touch�my�shit.

-This�is�a�no-fly�zone. -[hairdresser]�Okay,�okay.

[announcer] 15�minutes,�everyone.

15�minutes�till�showtime.

All�right, I'm�gonna�go�get�my�seat.

You�don't�want to�hang�back�here?

This�is�where�all�the�fun�is.

"All�Diamonds"�by�Nightgames

I'll�find�a�place

For�myself...

[comedian]�I�feel lots�of�love�here,�people.

-[Dani]�Okay. -[comedian]�Uh-huh.

-You�know�what�time�it�is. -All�right,�can�I�get�you

any�water�or�anything? You�want�some...

Oh,�I�heard�there�was�champagne.

[audience�whooping,�laughing]

No,�you're-�I�mean,�you're probably�busy.�I-I�could�get�it.

-[Dani]�No,�I-I�can�get�it. -You're�so�busy.

I�will�get�it.

-You�sure?�Okay. -Yeah.

Yeah,�yeah,�yeah.

How�you�feeling?

-You�okay? -I'm�fine.

-Go�do�your�thing. -Okay.

Well,�the�show�starts�in�ten,

if�you�need�anything before�then.

[Nat] Oh!�I�do.

Uh,�these�are�for�Alice.

Yeah.�I�wanted

to�get�her�flowers, but�the�lady�by�the�side

of�the�freeway only�had�oranges�today,�so...

there�you�go.

S-So�you�got�oranges?

[chuckles] Okay.

-Yep. -Wonderful.

I'll�see�she�gets�these.

-Thanks. -Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I�feel�like�she�didn't�think that�was�funny.

-I�wouldn't�take�it�personally. -[chuckles]

'Kay.

You�got�some�fluff�in�your�hair.

Oh.

-Thanks. -Mm-hmm.

Got�it?

Hair's�looking�healthy.

You�finally�using�new�products?

Yeah,�actually.

It's,�uh, called�Grape�Jelly�by�Eli.

Yeah,�it's�applied�by�just flinging�it�across�the�table.

-[chuckles] -It's�in�high�demand.

I'll�try�and�get�you�his�number.

[snorts�softly]

[audience�laughing]

I�saw�you�when�I�got�hit.

Yeah,�I-I�can't�believe�how�fast I�was�able�to�get�there.

No.

The�way�they�say�your�life flashes�before�your�eyes.

I�saw�you�and�the�kids.

My�family.

soft,�sentimental�music

I'm�sure�it�was�just... the�adrenaline.

-You�know?�That's�all. -[Dani]�Here�you�go.

Oh,�thank�you.

Yeah.

[comedian] What�are�they?

That's�right.

Um,�she�didn't�bring�you a�glass.

No. [laughs]

You�know�what? That's�okay.�Actually,

I�think�I�have a�reusable�straw�in�here.

-[chuckles�softly] -Let's�see.

upbeat,�funky�music

Na-na-na,�na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na,�na-na-na-na

Whoo! Let's�take�it�from�the�top�now

Take�it�from�the�top...

Finley?

-Hi! -Hi.

-Carrie,�right? -Yes,�hi.

-Hi,�how�are�you? -I'm�good.

-Nice�to�meet�you. -Thank�you.�You,�too.

You�know, Tess�described�you�so�perfectly.

-Oh. -She�said,�"Leonardo�DiCaprio

from � Romeo�+�Juliet."

And�with�the�hair�and everything,�I�totally�see�it.

Wow,�that�is�weirdly�the�nicest thing�anybody's�ever�said�to�me.

Wow.

God,�I�must�be�on�some�kind of�gender�journey,�huh?

Yeah.�I�wouldn't�know�enough about�that�to�say.

-[chuckles�softly] -So�what�do�we�do?

Uh,�yeah,�sit�down.

-Right�here? -Yeah.

Okay.

Wait,�so�how�do�you�know�Tess?

I�hit�rock�bottom. I�went�on�a�bender.

That's�when�Tess became�my�sponsor.

So,�I'm�here

to�tell�you�about�the�tsunami of�depression�that...

kicked�my�ass�after�I�found�out

that�my�fiancée got�back�with�her�ex.

-Shit.�[inhales�sharply] -Yeah.

Well,�we�got�this�puppy to�guide�us.

-So,�silver�lining. -Okay.�Right.

-Yeah,�it�can't�hurt,�right? -Yeah.

But,�listen, I�got�to�hit�the�head�first.

I,�like,�pounded,�like,�a�gallon of�iced�tea�on�the�way�here.

Course. Uh,�the�water's�out�in�here,

but�right�around�the�corner is�Dana's.

Pop�in�there, there's�a�bathroom.

Okay,�great.�And,�listen,�I�got a�free�sub�with�my�punch�card.

If�you�want�one,�take�it.

Oh,�sweet.�Thanks.

What-what�is�it?

Uh,�it's�turkey�and�cheese, no�dressing.

I�don't�like�wet�bread.

[door�opens]

Copy�that.

[door�closes]

Kegel�and�hold. Kegel�and�hold.

Don't�sneeze.

Oh,�no.�Don't�sneeze.

Okay.

Almost�there.

Oh,�occupied!

-Oh,�geez! -Oh.

-Oh,�my,�oh... -Oh,�my�God.

-Oh,�boy.�Oh,�boy. -No,�no,�no,�no,�no,�oh,�my�God.

Oh,�my�God,�let�me�look�at�it.

-Oh,�it's�really�coming�out. -Is�it?�Oh,�no.

There's�no,�um,�toilet�paper.

-[laughs]�You... -Oh,�my�God.

-Oh,�it�hurts�when�I�laugh. -Oh,�my�God.

Oh,�it's�in�my�mouth. I�taste�the�blood.

-What�do�we�do? -Oh,�I�have�an�idea.

-Come�here,�come�over�here. -I�need�something.

Come�over�here,�come�over�here.

[Misty] Okay,�it's�working.

It�feels�okay,�actually.

-It�looks�amazing. -Thank�you.

[both�laughing]

Okay.�Um,�this�one?

-Yes? -I'm�going�to�take�it�out,

because�it�was�kind�of really�bleeding,

so�I'm�gonna�stick�a�new�one�in.

-Okay.�Right. -Okay?

Okay,�here�we�go. You�ready?

-Go.�Gentle. -Okay.

Don't�freak�out, don't�freak�out.

[exhales] We�did�it.

Oh,�I�can�breathe�again.

-Not�for�long. -You�got�it?

-I'm�going�to�jam�it�slowly... -Oh?�Yeah,�that's�nice.

-You�okay? -Not�too�hard.

-You�good? -That's�good.

-[chuckles]�Okay. -Thank�you.

-Looks�good. -My�name's�Carrie.

-I'm�Misty. -It's�nice�to�meet�you.

Nice�to�meet�you,�yeah.

You�do�well�under�pressure.

It's�a�good�thing�I�know�so much�about�leaky�pipes,�I�guess.

-Right. -Yeah.

Holy�shit, what�the�hell�happened?

-It's�a�long�story. -Yes,�it�is.

Yeah,�we're�all�good,�though.

-Yeah,�we're�good.�Yeah. -Yeah.�Don't�worry.

Oh,�there's,�like, no�toilet�paper

in�this�whole�entire�bathroom.

Oh,�that's�actually�my�fault.

I,�um,�yeah, I�was�supposed�to�do�that.

-[Misty]�Okay. -Are�you�sure�you're�good?

-Yeah,�yeah.�We're�good. -We're�good.

-You're�good. -We're�good.

[clears�throat] Okay...

Ooh,�la,�la...

[Sophie] � All�right, contestants,�are�you�ready?

Here�are�your�microphones, all�right?

You're�gonna�talk into�them�like�this,

-blah,�blah,�blah. -[clattering]

-Wait�a�minute. -Somebody�cut�her�off.

Where's�contestant�number�three?

[slurring] Are�these�Beyond�Beef,

or�are�these�the�real�deal?

[assistant]�Guys,�just�be aware�of�what's�going�on.

[muttering] Anybody-�you�don't�know.

Mmm... [slurping]

[gasps�softly] Fuck�my�life.

[exhales]

[Alice]�You�know,�I'm�much better�with�emotional�ties.

[audience�laughing]

This�feels a�little�more�literal.

[laughter]

But�it�does�remind�me�a�lot of�a�relationship�I�was�in�once.

Oh...!

-[cheering] -[Alice]�I�did�it!

Thank�you.

[announcer] Hang�tight,�everyone.

15�minutes until�the�next�segment.

There's�nothing�suspicious about�anything�you're�doing.

What,�am�I�not�being�discrete?

Uh,�no.�You'd�be a�terrible�criminal.

Oh,�please. I�could�commit�crimes.

Yeah,�and�not�get�away�with�it.

That's�just�mean. It's�mean�and�it's�wrong.

[quietly] I�could...�kill.

[chuckling] Or�maybe�pillage�something.

Can�I�tell�you�something?

Mm-hmm.

I�keep�trying�to�understand�what I�was�feeling�in�that�moment.

Like,�what�it�means that�I�saw�you.

Do�you�think�it�means�anything?

Are�you�smizing�at�me?

Smizing?

Smizing? From � Top�Model?

[chuckling]

Can�you�please stop�making�me�laugh?

-My�ribs�are�bruised. -What?�What�do�you�watch?

My�ribs�are�bruised.

Well,�stop�saying ridiculous�things.

You're�the�one�being�ridiculous.

Um,�actually,�you're the�one�with�a�head�injury.

You�were�concussed�and�now you're�drinking�on�painkillers,

so�I'm�pretty�sure you're�not�thinking�straight.

Safe�to�say.

-We�met�at�18. -I�know.

-Well,�you�were�19. -No,�you're�older�than�me.

-No,�I'm�not. -Yes,�you�are.

-I-I�always�mix�that�up. -I�know,�I�don't�understand.

-You�were�18? -Yes.

[Nat�chuckles]

gentle�music

[chuckles]

-Dani,�Dani,�Dani! -Thank�you�so�much.

-Dani,�I�need�a�favor. -Thank�you.

Why�don't�you�carry your�own�tampons?

-What?�No.�I... -Hi.

I-I�lost�a�contestant for�the�dating�game,

and�I�need�someone.

Can�you�please�do�it�for�me?

[stammering] It's�in�six,�six�minutes.

No.�I�have�to�go�get Billie�Jean�off�the�red�carpet.

She�won't�stop�smiling for�the�cameras.

You�do�it. You�got�it.�Go.

God!�Why�are�you�the�worst?

slow,�dramatic�music

[announcer] � All�right, everyone�in�the�audience,

we�are�gonna�start in�just�a�few�minutes.

-Please�take�your�seats. -[applause]

intriguing�music

You�know,�your�timing�could�not have�been�more�perfect,�really.

Well,�I'm�just�glad�it's getting�put�to�some�good�use.

[Ivy]�You�know, I�think�I�need,�like,

a�little�bit�of�a�revamp.

I've�just�been on�those�dating�apps.

Like,�they're�terrible.

-Oh,�those�dating�apps...�yeah. -Absolutely�terrifying.

Yeah.�And�I've�been�out the�game�for�like...�two�years.

-Two�years,�huh? -Yeah.

-I�had�a�kid. -I�know�you�had�a�kid.

You�mentioned�that when�I�met�you.

You�don't�seem�like�the�type that�wants�to�see�pictures

so�I'm�not�gonna�show�you.

I'd�see,�I'd�see�it�if�you'd like�to�show�it�to�me.

-Oh,�yeah? -I'm�not�against�it.

Okay. [chuckles]

She�is�everything

and�she�has�also�sucked�me�dry.

I�just�don't�feel�like�myself all�the�way,�you�know?

Yeah.

Yeah.�[clears�throat] I�can�relate�to�that.

I�think�I�need�to�get�back on�the�horse.

I�think�you're�gonna�do just�fine.

Hi,�guys. I�need�a�favor.�Um...

Can�you�get�her�ready�in, like,�four�minutes?

-She's�not�talking�to�me. -We'll�do�it.

-Yeah. -Oh,�my�God,�amazing.

-Okay,�sit�down. -Hi.

-Hi. -What's�your�name?

-Taylor. -Hi,�Taylor.

I'm�Ivy,�this�is�Shane.

-Hey,�Taylor. -Hey.

Yeah,�we're�gonna�take really�good�care�of�you.

Do�you�have�any�do's, any�don'ts?

Uh,�just�no�red�lipstick.

My�mom�subjected�me to�pageants�as�a�toddler,

so�it's�very�triggering.

Okay.�Take�it�away. Do�your�thing.

Taylor.

-[chuckles�softly] -May�I?

Yeah.

[producer] And�we're�rolling.

[applause�and�cheering]

[Alice]�Welcome�back to�my�100th�episode.

As�many�of�you�know, I'm�currently�single,

so�I�figured�what�better�way to�meet�someone,

than�on�TV�in�front�of a�studio�audience?

-[laughter] -So�to�help�me�out�today,

we've�brought�the�original bisexual�comedienne,

a�woman�who�has�paved�the�way for�so�many�of�us,

my�first�crush, my�friend,�Margaret�Cho!

[cheering]

[upbeat�music�playing]

Hey!

Thank�you!

Oh,�this�is�so�exciting.

So,�you�know�how�this�works, we�have�some�contestants,

we're�gonna�ask�them some�questions.

Alice�is�gonna�decide

amongst�three�candidates who's�best,�right?

Yes,�well, you're�going�to�help�me.

[Margaret]�I'm�gonna�be�making some�snide�commentary

-from�over�here... -[laughter]

It's�gonna�be�so�fabulous.

-I'm�so�excited. -Sounds�dreamy.

-Let's�start.�Okay. -I�love�it.

[cheering]

Okay.

Contestant�number�one,

tell�me�about�yourself.

-Hi,�Alice. -Oh.

-Ooh,�that�is�a�deep�baritone. -Okay.

I'm�into�it.

I'm�from a�small�town�in�Montana,

where�rush�hour�is a�moose�in�the�road.

Oh,�this�is�gonna�be�simple.

Um,�Ivy,�can�you�grab�me

that�product�in�your�bag?

Yeah,�I�just�want�to�see what�it�is.

No.

Uh,�just�find�a�nice�backdrop outside�or�something.

Get�singles,�get�groups. I�need�options.

Thank�you.�Hi.

Everything�looks�so�good.

Thank�you.

I'm�gonna�go�home.

Oh,�it's�early. Are�you�feeling�okay?

Yes,�but�I�just�really want�to�get�back.

Okay,�okay. I'll�call�you�a�car.

No,�no,�no. Don't�worry�about�it.

Nat's�going�to�take�me.

[sighs�heavily]

What's�going�on?

What�do�you�mean?

I�mean,�what's�going�on with�you�and�Nat?

-Nothing�is�going�on. -Okay.

-We�can�talk�more�later. -No.

I'd�like�to�talk�about�it�now.

[Alice] Contestant�number�one,

why�don't�you�tell�me how�you�spend�your�days?

I'm�a�veterinarian for�a�nonprofit

that�rescues�animals from�natural�disasters.

[audience] Aww.

[laughs] He's�perfect.

Definitely�a�serial�killer.

[laughing] Agreed.

Okay,�let's�move�on to�contestant�number�two.

Can�you�beat�the�butt-dialing rescue�vet�from�Montana?

-I'll�try. -[gasps]

Um,�I�was�born�in�India, raised�in�New�York.

Uh,�I�run�a�cold�storage start-up�for�NFTs.

[Margaret] Oh.

-Cold�storage�for�NFTs? -I�have�no�idea�what�that�means.

-[laughter] -[Margaret]�Number�two,

what�is�the�most embarrassing�thing

that's�ever�happened�to�you?

The�most�embarrassing�thing

that's�happened�to�me�was I�threw�up�in�the�front�car

of�a�roller�coaster, on�a�first�date.

-[audience]�Ooh... -[Margaret]�Wow.

[Shane] Looks�great.

[Taylor] I�don't�know�why

I�have�to�be on�TV�right�now,�but...

All�right,�we're�done.�Let's�go, we�got�to�go,�we�got�to�go.

-Come�on. -Okay,�okay.

Oh,�wait,�don't�forget�this.

You�want�a�girl that�can�just,�you�know,

really�go�up...

-And�down.�Yeah. -...and�go�down.

-[laughter] -We�like�that...

[Shane] All�right,�good�luck,�have�fun.

-She�looks�great. -She�does,�yeah.

ALICE: Okay,�contestant�number�three.

Same�question.

-Number�three? -Don't�be�shy.

[Margaret] Don't�be�shy,�number�three.

-Okay,�go�answer�the�question. -[Margaret]�Number�three?

Okay,�okay. What's�the�question?

Say�something funny�about�yourself.

Um.�Something,�um... I'm,�uh...

Something�funny�about�me?

I'm�from�Normal,�Illinois.

[Alice]�That's�more of�a�fact�than�a�joke,

but,�okay,�I'll�play.

What's�so�normal�about�it?

[Margaret] And�would�I�fit�in?

Um,�uh,�the�people,

I-I�guess,�make�it�normal,�um...

That�voice�sounds�so�familiar.

So,�number�three,�what's the�most�embarrassing�thing

that's�ever�happened�to�you?

I�mean,�well,�this�moment

-would�have�to�be�up�there. -[laughter]

And,�number�three,

who�is�your�hero,�and�why?

Oh,�gosh,�um... was�it�animal�or�human?

-[laughter] -Aw,�that's�so�cute.

upbeat,�energetic�music

-All�right,�I�got�one�for�you. -What's�that?

One�time,�after�a�bottle of�Goldschläger,�remember�that?

One-way�bus�ticket, Kansas�City�to�L.A.

Just�picked�up everything�and�moved.

God,�I�hate�moving.

It's�like�the�worst�thing in�the�world�to�me.

Yeah,�but�at�least I�used�to�do�stuff.

It's�like,�being�sober

makes�it�harder�to�make those�moves,�you�know?

Mm-hmm.

Like,�I've�got�a�whole�list of�shit�I�just�haven't�done.

Really,�like�what?

I�mean,�I�got�this college�application.

It's�been�saved�on my�desktop�for�months.

It's�due�at�midnight,

and�I�just,�like, I�can't�pull�the�trigger.

[Carrie] Well,�you�got�to�do�that

or�you're�gonna�regret�it your�whole�life,�you�know?

[Misty] Okay.

So�everything's�done.

Um,�if�you�have�any�problems, your�boss�has�my�info.

Again,�I'm-I'm�really�sorry about�everything.

-Yeah. -Really,�the�nose�and,�you�know.

But�the�tampons�worked. Your�nose�looks�perfect.

[Carrie]�I�think�it�looks�better than�when�I�came�in.

-[laughs]�It�was�fun,�so... -Yeah.

You�know,�it�was- it�wasn't�good,

but�it�was�good,�you�know?

-Right.�Okay. -All�right.

-Bye.�It's,�um... -[Misty]�Yeah,�sorry.

Good�night.

You�like�her.

I�don't�know�her.

You�ask�her�out, I'll�send�in

-my�college�application. -[door�closes]

Deal.

-Wait,�what? -Deal.

No,�I�was�fucking�around!

-No,�you�send�that�shit. -Fuck.

Wow,�she's�doing�it.�Okay.

[sputters]

upbeat,�energetic�music

Okay. [sighs]

Holy�shit,�I�did�it.

-I�did�it.�Did�you�do�it? -I�did�it.

-[screams] -I�did�it!

-[laughing] -Can�you�believe�it?

-No! -Thursday�night.

-You�got�a�date. -Well,�no.

-It's�not�actually�a�date. -What�is�it?

I�sort�of�joined her�bowling�league.

I'm�the�newest�member�of

"I�Can't�Believe It's�Not�Gutter."

[chuckles�softly] You�know�what?

Playing�the�long�game. I'll�take�it.

[radio�playing]

Okay.

Mama,�Gloria,

I'm�heading�out�now.

Don't�be�late,�Deb, I've�got�a�shift�at�8:00.

Mama,�it's�me.

Remember,�your�sister�Deb is�in�Florida.

Oh,�right.

You�never�should've�married�him.

[radio�announcer] Speaking�of�songs�of�yesterday,

here's�Carly�Simon�with�her�hit, "You�Belong�to�Me."

["You�Belong�to�Me" by�Carly�Simon�playing]

[Patty] This�is�my�song.

Oh,�my�God.

[laughs] She�used�to�blast�this�song

in�the�car�when�she�would drive�me�to�school.

Were�you�looking for�my�reaction?

Like,�lean�out�the�window smoking�cigarettes.

It�would�piss all�the�other�moms�off�so�much.

I�believe�it.

Carly�Simon�once�bummed a�cigarette�from�me.

You�never�told�me�that. That�is�so�cool!

There's�certain�things�a�mother should�never�tell�her�daughter.

[both�laughing]

Come�dance�with�me,�come�on.

I�would�love�to.

You�belong�to�me

Tell�her, tell�her�you�were�fooling

You�belong�to�me

You�don't�even�know�her

You�belong�to�me

Tell�her�that�I�love�you

You�belong�to�me

[Shane]�So�you've�been working�here�how�long?

Like�six,�seven�months...�ish?

-Really? -Yeah.

-Surprised�I�hadn't�met�you. -Well,�you�didn't�look.

-I�didn't�know. -Oh,�okay.

[chuckles]

You�know,�it�didn't�take�you that�long�to,�like,

jump�right�back�in.

-And�you�did�that,�so... -No,�no,�no,�no,�don't-

You�can't�give�me that�kind�of�credit.

I�was-�I�was following�your�lead.

Mm.

"Bad"�by�Azure

Come�with�me.

[door�closes]

Red�wine�stained�keys, a�melody

Suffocation�of a�broken�heart

Violently�sweet, till�I�bleed

Your�cigarettes, they�linger�on�my�mouth

Oh,�I�never�should�have let�you�call�me�baby

It�burns�every�time I�hear�it�lately

I've�come�undone

Oh,�I�never�thought�I'd�drown in�your�ocean�eyes

A�part�of�me�lives on�your�bedside

I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad

Can't�get�you�out�of�my�head

Maybe�I'm�crazy�'cause I�don't�care�if�you�hate�me

I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad

Can't�get�you�out�of�my�head

Maybe�I'm�crazy�'cause I�don't�care�if�you�hate�me

I�don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad

Don't�know�why I�want�you�so�bad

So,�what-what�is�going�on between�you�two?

Nothing.

I�can�feel�it,�okay?

On�the�ambulance, our�lips�touched.

[stammers] It�was�nothing.

-It�was�an�accident. -Are�you�trying�to�hurt�me?

Of�course�I'm�not�trying to�hurt�you.

Okay,�then, what�we�have�is�good.

Why�are�you�doing�this?

We�have�a�good�thing.

I'm�just...

I'm�confused.

You're�confused?

When�I...�got�hit...

...I�saw�Nat�and�the�kids.

And�not�me.

I�don't�know�what�it�means. That's�why�I'm�telling�you.

What�are�you�saying�to�me right�now?

[sighs]�I�don't�know, I�need�time.

Okay.�You�take�your�time.

I'm�done.

[Taylor]�And�this�all happened�in�the�backseat

of�the�family�Astro�van.

[audience�laughing]

Oh,�shit. Um,�you�know�what?

Uh,�Miss�Cho,�could�you�actually just�forget�I�said�that?

Oh,�contestant�three,

I�don't�think I�can�unring�that�bell.

There's�no�shame�in�masturbating in�the�back�of�your�family's�car

as�long�as your�family's�not�there.

[Margaret]�No�shame�at�all, three.�No�shame.

-For�me�there�is�a�little. -[bell�tinkling]

Oh,�you�know what�that�bell�means,

we�have�time for�one�last�question.

-What�do�you�think,�Alice? -I�think�I'm�ready.

-Okay. -It's�very�simple.

[Margaret] Yes.

Why�do�you�want�to�date�me?

What's�not�to�love?

Aww!

Smart,�sexy�and�beautiful. The�full�package.

[audience�murmuring]

We�should�do�this�every�episode.

[audience�laughing]

Uh,�well,�they�promised�me

a�coffee�mug if�I�did�the�show,�so...

[loud�laughter]

The�free�mug?

[laughing]�Wow. What�do�you�say,�Alice?

Loveable, full�package,�free�mug.

And�unlike�women's reproductive�rights�in�America,

this�choice�is�entirely�yours.

-[murmured�agreements] -[Alice�sighs]

I�don't�know,�Margaret. They're�all�so�dateable.

[audience�yelling�numbers]

Mm...�There's�one�person

that�I�would�like to�get�to�know�better.

Contestant�three,�I�choose�you!

-[confetti�popping] -[cheering]

[Margaret] Contestant�three,�come�on�down.

Two�and�one,

uh,�meet�me�in�my�dressing�room.

-You. -It's�me.

-[laughs] -The�coffee�stand.

Yeah.

You're�funny.

[chuckles] For�a�regular�gal.�Yeah.

[Margaret] All�right.

We're�here,�we're�queer!

And�we�have�love.

-Love�is�love�is�love! -Love�it.

Until�the�Supreme�Court takes�that�away�from�us,�too.

[laughter,�cheering]

And�pee�after�sex, everyone,�don't�forget!

Thank�you�so�much�for having�me,�Alice,�thank�you.

Good�night,�everyone!

Are�you�okay?

No.

You�can�sleep�on�my�couch, if�you�want.

No,�I'm�fine�on�my�own.

[sighs]�But�you�should really�let�me�drive.

Oh,�don't�worry, I�only�had�a�couple�sips.

I�just�mean�you're a�really�bad�driver.

[Dani] Fuck�you!�Fuck�you!

-[Nat]�Whoa! -[Gigi]�Jesus,�what�is-

What�is�that?

-[Gigi]�Can�you�please�drive? -Fuck�you!

-They're�my�oranges! -Yeah,�go!

-[Gigi]�Can�you�please�drive? -[Nat]�Those�are�a�gift!

-Nat,�could�you�please�drive? -[Nat]�I�spent�$20�on�them.

I�understand, could�you�please-?

-That�was�for�my�ex!�Our�ex. -Jesus.

[tires�screeching]

[groans]

[pants]

slow,�dramatic�music

slow,�funky�music

[Sophie] ...so�much.

I'll�see�you�tomorrow,�okay? Good�job.

-[sighs] -�Been�feeling�defeated

Oh,�no...

Hey.

What�the�hell�happened�to�you?

This�is�the�second�time

that�the�person�I�wanted�to marry�ran�off�with�someone�else.

Ha�ha.

Oh...�orange?

-Yeah.�Thanks. -Mm-hmm.

[grunts]

Don't�fall�down,�baby, don't�fall�down

Don't�fall,�just...

-Hey,�you're�gonna�be�okay. -Mm.

You�got�this. You'll�bounce�back.

You... [chuckles]

You're�the�most together�person�I�know.

[scoffs] Not�anymore.

-Turns�out,�that's�you. -[laughs]

I�don't...�mm, I�don't�know�about�that.

You're�crushing�at�work.

Made�it�through�rehab with�Finley.

Been�going�through�changes

Oh...

Hey,�um,

I�was�just�gonna�grab�my�stuff and�go�home.�[chuckles]

-Yeah.�Me,�too. -[clears�throat]

Threw�it�all�away

Everyone�makes mistakes,�yeah

Oh,�no,�don't�fall�down...

Hey,�uh...

You�want�to�come�over?

Don't�fall�down,�baby, don't�fall�down...

Um...�Are�you...?

Are�you�trying�to�get�back together�with�me�right�now?

-[laughing] -Because,�um...

No.�No,�no.

Not�a�fucking�chance.

Yeah.�I'll�see�you at�the�house�then.

-Okay. -Yeah.

See�you�later.

Things�are�gonna�get�better

Things�are�gonna�get�better

I�was,�like, this�close�to�falling.

[laughing] I�was�like...

-Hey!�We�did�it! -[cheering]

[whooping]

Great�job,�everybody. Great�job.

[upbeat�music�playing]

Hey!

Are�you-are�you�leaving?

The�party's�just getting�started.

Yeah,�yeah, I'm�just�gonna�head�home.

You�don't�want�to�cash�in on�that�big�date?

[laughs]

-Really,�no,�it's-it's�okay. -Oh.

I�mean,�hey, I-I�got�the�free�mug.

They�threw�in two�extra�T-shirts,�so...

-Nice. -I'm�good.

Yeah,�that's�enough.

-Hey,�listen... -Yeah?

...really,�congratulations on�everything.

I�mean,�you�should�be really�proud�of�all�of�it.

Big�chef's�kiss�for�you and�your�big�night.

Um,�you're�not�regular.

Yes,�I�am. [chuckles]

Well,�so�am�I.

There's�a�45-foot�picture of�you�outside.

Okay,�I've�been�you.

A�long�time�ago, I�dated�someone�famous

when�I�wasn't, so�I�know�it's�different.

But�I'm�just�a�person.

And�I�like�your�weird sense�of�humor.

You�know,�that's, that's�not�the�compliment

I�think�you�think�it�is.

And�you're�cute.

Well,�you�know,�I�can't�speak to�that�one�so�much,�so...

Come�on,�one�date. One�regular�date.

What�do�you�say?�Just...

You�can�keep�the�T-shirts.

[chuckles]

I�don't�know�about�the�mug.

[laughing]

I�cannot�believe�I�missed Alice�in�a�straitjacket.

-[laughing] -I�know,�and�that�Velcro�target?

Oh,�my�God,�that�was�a�hit.

-It�was�so�good. -[shrieks]�I'm�sure.

-[laughs] -Oh.

[Sophie] Well,�um,�yeah,�I�think

-Shane's�backstage�somewhere- -Hey,�Tess.

You�showed�up.

-Hi. -Hi.

Yeah. [kisses]

-I'm�sorry�I'm�late. -Oh.

I�would�have�been�here�sooner,

it's�just�my�mom�was having�this,�like,

-really�amazing�moment- -It's�okay,�it's�okay.

-Yeah,�it's�okay. -Okay.

Um...

I'm�sorry�I�snapped at�you�earlier.

All�is�forgiven.

Yeah.

But�I�think�they�wrapped, didn't�they,�Sophie?

-[Tess]�Oh. -Yeah,�we�wrapped.

-[Shane]�Yeah. -Yeah,�but�there's...

there's�a�party.

I�know,�but�I'm�exhausted.

-Okay. -Is�that�okay?

Can�we�just�go�home?

That's�okay,�let's�go�home.

-You�sure? -Yeah,�let's�go�home.

I'm�sorry�you�drove all�the�way�over�here,

-but�is�that�all�right? -No,�it's�fine.

Okay.

Thank�you,�Sophie.

[Sophie] Bye,�guys,�have�a�good�night.

-Bye. -Bye,�Soph.

Bye.

Great�show.

Uh...

Uh,�same-same�to�you.

'Cause�I'd�really, really�miss�ya

So�cool,�cool,�cool, baby,�shake�that

You're�the�best�in�the�room, you�don't�have�to�try

Show�no�fear when�you�cross�the�line

Even�when�it�rains, you�bring�the�shine...

[Micah] Hey.

[Finley] What...?�What'd�I�say?

Relax,�I'm�just�going to�get�something�to�drink,

go�to�my�room,

and�you�can�have�your�special night�with�Sophie.

-You'll�be�fine. -Thank�you.

-I�love�you. -Yeah.�You,�too.�Hey.

Hey,�you�know,�if�there's any�leftovers,

that�steak�looks�amazing.

It's�chicken.

-Oh. -[door�opens]

Hey.

Hey!

-[chuckles]�What�is�this? -We're�celebrating.

-We�are? -Yeah.

-Your�100th�episode. -Aww.

And... [kisses]

I�applied�to�college.

Stop.

-What?�[laughs] -I�know.

That's�amazing.

-I�know. -I'm�so�excited�for�you.

So�I�thought�we�could, you�know,�celebrate�us,

and�have�a�little romantic�dinner,�and�then,

-you�know,�maybe�after... -Oh,�okay.

Oh.

-Hi. -Hi.�[laughs]

-Hi. -Hey.�Sorry.

[quietly]�I�tried�to�call�you. Gigi�broke�up�with�her.

Figured�I'd�come�piss in�your�hallway�for�a�change.

[Finley] Oh.

I�mean,�if�that'd�be�helpful, by�all�means,�please�do.

Truce?

Now�what�I�really�want�to�do is�pull�you�into�a�big�old�hug.

-You�shouldn't�do�that.�Yeah. -And�I�won't.

[gasps] Is�that�cake?

-Yes,�it�is. -[Micah]�I�heard�Dani.

Which�means�it's�not a�date�night.

-Not�anymore. -I�want�some�of�that�cake.

-Wait,�you�made�cake? -[laughing]�No.

I�was�with�the, uh,�plumber�all�day.

But�I�picked�up � tres�leches,

and�I�also�found�out�what the � tres�leches � were�today.

Uh,�what�did�you�think they�were�before?

Mmm.

Cow,�goat�and�breast.

-Wow. -No.

[laughing]

So,�you�thought they�put�breast�milk...?

Ooh,�there's�got�to�be

Something�more out�there�for�me

Ooh,�I've�got�to�keep my�head�up

Keep�my�head�up

Ooh,�there's�nothing�like

Rising�up�after�the�fight

Ooh,�I've�got�to�keep my�head�up

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