Original subtitles

? ("HAPPY NOW?" BY FINNEAS PLAYING) ?

? Aren't I supposed to be Happy now? ?

? There's nothing left for me To laugh about ?

? Happy now ?

I'll have y'all home in 20.

? They're all so happy for me ?

? So take a drive around town In my douchebag car ?

? Like the superstar That I pretend to be ?

? Nothing feels better Than buying love ?

? When push comes to shove, I'm lonely ?

(KEYPAD CLACKING)

? With everybody talking 'bout you ?

? You won't remember who you are ?

? Everybody talking 'bout you ?

? Doesn't get you far... ?

New year, new me incoming.

- You okay, Mone? - I'm gonna be perfect.

? I was supposed to be happy now ?

? There's nothing left for me To laugh about ?

? I was supposed to be happy now ?

? They're all so happy for me... ?

GOSSIP GIRL: Happy New Year, followers.

Been a minute, and I know you've missed me.

Because it must have been pretty dark and lonely

out there without me around.

(BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

GOSSIP GIRL: Lucky for you, I'm the light at the end of your tunnel.

You still want me to eat that?

GOSSIP GIRL: Here to illuminate what you've been up to

while you thought no one was watching.

And to those of you who may doubt the credibility of what I might say,

remember, I can only be as honest as you are.

But admit it,

it's the fiction that keeps the facts interesting, anyway.

? Happy now ?

? There's nothing left for me To laugh about ?

? I was supposed to be happy now ?

? They're all so happy for me ?

GOSSIP GIRL: So try to ignore me if you dare.

? And if I'm not I'll never be happy now ?

GOSSIP GIRL: Pretty soon...

I'll have everyone talking.

? Maybe I'll never be happy now... ?

GOSSIP GIRL: And you'll be back here

to make sure they're not talking about you.

? Forget ?

? Me ?

? Not... ?

CAMILLE DE HAAN: No, no... (HESITATES) ...maybe.

Is that Vera Wang? Definitely not.

The guidelines say no ivory, no buff, no pearl.

No d�colletage, no trains, no excessive lace, no beading.

Just stiff duchess satin, organdy, or tulle.

There aren't many choices.

Even less with Gossip Girl trying to burn my contacts

by telling the world I deal in knockoffs.

- Does this look like a knockoff? - (SCOFFS) Still no response?

At first, I thought she didn't like the selects,

so I sent more.

Who could say no to that Peter Do?

- (CHUCKLES) - It was on its way to Zendaya,

and I had to "blackmail" Law Roach's assistant

with those pictures of her and Cancel Elgort.

At this point, I expect Julien to show up in Patagonia.

We had a whole plan at New Year's, right?

Yeah, m... maybe she's finally giving up?

She hasn't even opened IG.

What kind of an influencer isn't online? (SCOFFS)

If she's not online, then...

what is she doing?

? Afraid of what you'll find ?

? Forget me not ?

? (SONG CONCLUDES) ?

(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)

? (HURRIED MUSIC PLAYS) ?

- (GASPS) Oh, no. - ZOYA LOTT: Me first!

- Wait! I need to shower. - So do I.

I thought you already did. I heard the water.

I ran it for steam.

It's part one of my three-part skincare routine.

Used to be ten, but new research shows

that all you need is a cleanser, moisturizer,

- and a sunblock... - I'm not following.

- A bunch of dermatologists... - No, I mean, I don't care.

And I need to get in there. Some of us have hair.

Why don't you go put together an outfit in your closet...

What, you know, used to be my bedroom.

And by the time you're done,

maybe I can see myself in the full-size mirror again.

If my stuff is an imposition, I'll just...

- I'll... - Everything okay here?

You're sharing well with your sister, Z?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY, SMACKS LIPS) All yours.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- ZOYA: Hmm. - (DOOR CLOSES)

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

(HEAVY BREATHING)

We're gonna be late.

It doesn't normally take this long.

(GRUNTS) It's my third time this morning, just give me a second.

- (KNOCKING) - JODI MENZIES: Hon, you awake?

I took a red eye so we could have breakfast together.

- Shit, shit, shit. - Shit, shit. Go, go.

AKI MENZIES: Uh, great. But, uh, don't... don't come in.

- Audrey and I aren't... - MAX WOLFE: Alone.

AUDREY HOPE: Decent. We're not decent.

(WHISPERING) Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

JODI: Well, can you get decent quickly?

- AUDREY: Okay, come on, come on. - JODI: I promised Governor Kathy

I'd have tea with her at 10:00, and I can't cancel again.

AUDREY: The two of us will be right there.

(GLASS SQUEAKS)

JODI: How do you feel about making some omelets?

- AUDREY: That sounds great! - AKI: Yeah, sure.

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

- A whole semester on Chaucer? - Yes, and it's an AP class.

Miss Keller got me in a year early.

Well... (EXHALES) ...I'm relieved

you're taking school seriously. After what I read...

Dad, I've never even seen coke, let alone touched it.

Why are you still reading Gossip Girl?

Are those overalls?

I know they're your thing but I hope you don't mind.

I augmented them a little bit. (CHUCKLES)

Everything you wear just works, doesn't it?

All right.

I thought you hated this kind.

You can have mine, Z.

I'll just grab something on the way to school.

The bus stop is literally outside the door.

Excited for your first-ever college counseling session?

Dad, I'm a freshman.

- Oh, he means me. - She's not gonna go to college.

Yes. I am.

We were texting about it over break.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'm thinking of pursuing an MBA.

Oh, really? What does it stand for?

- Um... - NICK LOTT: Have to say...

I'm pretty impressed you've been staying off social media.

Yeah, I hardly even miss it.

(KEYPAD CLACKING)

? (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

STUDENT 1: I'm loving these heat lamps.

STUDENT 2: Right? We can finally sit outside.

STUDENT 3: (LAUGHS) Oh, my gosh. Look, there's a coffee cart now.

CUSTODIAN 1: The one on the right, guys.

CUSTODIAN 2: Down the hall.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Kate! - (KATE KELLER EXHALES DEEPLY)

Wow, do you look great!

- Don't I look great too? I... - Did you see the new heat lamps?

And were those Compass chairs? Those cost almost 500 dollars apiece!

A gift from the de Haan family for the student cafeteria.

Yet we still get Costco coffee.

I swear, she's trolling me on purpose.

Told you she wouldn't let it go.

The woman called me a Karen.

The Jeanneret chairs were in exchange for something else

you're really not gonna like,

but I'm gonna like watching you not like.

I gave her a C!

And her mom gifted her a B-plus.

All the more reason for you to take out your anger on her anonymously,

like my cousins who may or may not have

- stormed the Capitol. - TEACHER: Excuse me.

- (CLEARS THROAT) - Hi.

Has Julien given you on anything on Camille yet?

Last I checked, Gossip Girl was...

- Is. - Is she back?

She is, without us.

It was "too many voices."

New year, new mission.

- I was gonna tell you, I just... - Didn't?

After outing every tipster, who would even click on this,

let alone send anything in?

I cut a deal with Julien.

She thinks Gossip Girl made her better.

She wants to do the same for everyone else.

- And you believe her? - She's already sending in tips.

Though only some of them are true.

WENDY FINEMAN-WALSH: Like Zoya selling

drugs. It's like two truths and a lie.

I was a green sash in NXIVM. I've been to Epstein's island.

I found Hunter Biden's laptop.

AUDREY: I can't believe you organized his closet by color.

You left me in there so long

that the whites are subdivided by shade.

We're sorry, okay?

Jodi's not like your dads. She's not ready

- to have breakfast with, uh... - (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

...a full table.

(GROANS) Another blast?

What's next, I buy my books on Amazon?

It's not about you. It's... it's about Max.

(GROANS) Which teacher am I fucking now?

GOSSIP GIRL: Welcome back, my pretties.

What better way to ring in this new year than to announce just who

got Max Wolfe's ball to drop first in '22?

Noah Beck at Hype House?

Olivia Rodrigo backstage at the Bowl?

Or perhaps it was a holy trinity?

How about I post the real holy trinity right now?

Do you want me to blur your body parts,

or will we just wait and see how long it takes for us to get reported?

Un... unless you guys don't feel comfortable with people knowing?

No, no, no. Of course we are!

It's just, Gossip Girl is in her flop era right now.

So why give her the exclusive, you know?

I just remembered...

I forgot to get my copy of Dubliners back from Julien.

So I'm gonna go catch her before she gets into class.

First, I'm gonna go grab some coffee. Bye.

She's wearing overalls, like an American Girl doll.

JULIEN CALLOWAY: Just wait,

ten people will be wearing these by tomorrow.

Yes, teachers. Did you not get the mood boards I sent you?

I did, and I wasn't in the mood.

This semester, I have zero plans beyond figuring out my future.

Do I boost my GPA? Take on extracurriculars?

It's all about getting into a good college.

College?

You might as well fall down a Chilean mine for four years.

When you come back out again,

not even your family will remember you.

Okay. Um, maybe you're not hearing me. I'm starting over.

Which means I'm not gonna be going after everything.

I'm just gonna let whatever comes to me come to me.

And without a platform on which to be contacted,

how do you expect that to happen? Osmosis?

I'm excited to see.

Love the overalls.

- Time for your next meeting. - JULIEN: Hmm.

Now do you see why I defected on Halloween?

I saw this crash coming.

Now you pulled me back in, and I'm collateral.

Thanks so much.

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

JULIEN: Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing, giving it up to God

or whatever people who believe in that stuff say?

AUDREY: The only reason that New Year's even exists

besides that pagan thing that no one talks about...

- Hmm. - ...is for the world

to give us permission to try something new.

So, like, on any given Monday, you can say you're going vegan,

but in January everyone believes you.

I mean, look at me.

Two weeks ago, if I said I was in a queer relationship,

everyone would probably accuse me of trying to center myself.

But in January, I'm speaking factually!

(CHUCKLES) How is that going?

Oh, my God. It's like a constant endorphin rush.

Nothing can put me in a bad mood.

Even that.

JULIEN: Hey, Z!

Trouble in Buffalo?

I mean, things have been a little tense the last 24 hours.

But that's what happens when three people share a bathroom.

Speaking of sharing, can we talk about it yet?

People are gonna lose their minds.

(SHUSHES) We're trying to keep it low-pro, okay?

- It's still so new... - (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

And it looks like people have already lost their minds.

What is this?

Does anyone really believe this shit?

"Noble O really paid people

to protest outside 432 Park in 2019"?

I think that actually happened. I wonder how Gossip Girl found out.

Who cares? This account is more dated than Diet Prada.

I don't even know why I still have post notifications on.

I don't mind GG.

I learned a lesson from her putting our shit out there.

Secrets just blow up in our faces.

Easy for you to say. My secret requires three-factor authentication.

Even if we all agreed,

I'm not sure I want it to be public knowledge.

Right. 'Cause relationships always work out

when you have to lie about them.

Excuse me, but I wasn't aware that they work when you don't.

How is Obie, by the way?

Have you heard from him? Has anyone?

It's just advice. Do whatever you want.

I don't need permission, and I am.

(KEYPAD CLACKING)

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

(CELL PHONE BUZZES)

CUSTODIAN 1: Uh, which thing? I'll get it.

CUSTODIAN 2: Yeah, just gimme a hand?

KATE: Hey!

MIKE SHUBIN: Don't worry about the plants.

KATE: Those are my things!

Wh... Why are you taking them out of my room?

Uh, you've been relocated.

- Sorry, who are you? - Mike Shubin. Russian Classics.

And this is my room, always has been.

I've been here for the last two years.

While I was on sabbatical. But now I'm back.

You lucked out. Most teachers start subterranean.

Pro tip. Put an air freshener in the ceiling vent, uh,

helps mask the essence of mildew.

(MUTTERS)

- MONET DE HAAN: Shubes! - MIKE: Hey!

Hi! My mom is gonna be so happy you're back.

MIKE: Already have dinner on the books.

- MONET: Oh, good. - MIKE: Looking forward to it.

- How you doing? - MONET: I've been good. How are you?

- (KEYPAD CLACKING) - (BREATHES DEEPLY)

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

It's you! Miss Keller.

My guidance counselor for college?

- It says we got assigned. - (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

What do you think my odds are?

KATE: Right. Um... (EXHALES SHARPLY)

Our first meeting isn't till later this week...

- (KEYPAD CLACKING) - ...but how are your extracurriculars?

Um...

- I've volunteered publicly. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES)

- Does that help me stand out? - Mmm...

- (KEYPAD CLACKING) - KATE: Um,

just because something is public doesn't mean it matters.

Who are you without Instagram?

- I'm thinking about that... - (NOTIFICATION CHIMES)

...for the first... time.

Anyway, I'm, uh, really excited to be working with you.

- Me too. - (JULIEN CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Have you seen this?

- "Lunet used to make out?" - Hmm?

What kind of ship name is that? We clearly would be Mona.

Is she a good kisser? (CHUCKLES)

It's... (EXHALES) It's not true! None of it.

Gossip Girl's gone full Facebook.

But wait, if...

if you believe her, then who's to say

that she doesn't have the power to make Julien popular again?

That won't happen.

People will be bored by Gossip Girl by then.

Everybody loves a dumpster fire. She hasn't lost one follower.

If I'm going to take Julien's place,

I need Gossip Girl to make my assumption public.

The guillotine was placed in the town square for a reason.

You didn't just kill your enemy,

you struck fear in everyone else as well.

Are you still going to the debutante ball with me?

I would follow you through the gates of hell.

Good. Because you both will have very important roles

when we get there.

Come Sunday, Julien's head will roll,

and the crown that she never respected

will finally... be on mine.

? ("THAT'S WHERE I AM" BY MAGGIE ROGERS PLAYS) ?

Uh, hey. How much for an eighth?

SHAN BARNES: Supply chain issues. Get lost.

Bye-bye. (CHUCKLES)

That is the third time this morning.

Oh, just means your cred's up.

Check it. I'm wearing the mood ring we fished out

from the tracks of the C.

I've been purple-excited to see you all morning.

- Right. - (LAUGHS)

Plus my knuckle has been tingling,

so I may lick it later and see what happens.

(GASPS)

I thought you were gonna wear the earring we found in your pizza.

Couldn't find 'em.

I've had trouble finding anything now that my bedroom

has been turned into a Farfetch warehouse.

Ugh! That girl is on another level.

And my dad doesn't even seem to notice.

Actually, he notices her plenty.

It's just me that's turned invisible.

Okay, so Jules is his favorite.

- He doesn't have a favorite. - All parents do.

And it's best to know exactly where you stand.

- Aren't you an only child? - No.

I just have only child energy.

Right. Well,

I know I campaigned for her to live with us,

but I forgot how much space she takes up, literally.

My dad and I just... (INHALES)

...need to spend some alone time together,

which we're gonna do this Saturday.

You know, the cheapest tickets at TKTS and Xi'an's Famous,

just the two of us.

Look, you made those plans before she moved in.

If I were you, I'd confirm.

- Now they're wearing overalls? - Yeah.

(NOTIFICATIONS CHIMING)

LUNA LA: You're all looking at Gossip Girl

as if tipgate never happened.

When the goss is this good, all is forgiven.

Only 'cause no one's talking about you.

GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted. Lone Wolfe no more.

Just three little piggies in one blanket.

- (NOTIFICATIONS CHIMING) - Threesomes are so last year.

Now, it's all about the full-time trio.

Close Friends status awarded to anyone who can get cold,

preferably hard, proof.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Oh, I love macarons. - Great news.

I was able to pull some strings and got you added last-minute

as a debutante this Saturday.

Did someone tell you I'd be interested in that?

'Cause I'm not.

Deb balls are outdated and problematic.

Well, they used to be, until my mom got on the board

and gave it a refresh. Now, they don't only include

high-achieving women of color like ourselves,

but all proceeds go to charity.

I mean, who doesn't love a chance to look stunning

while... while helping the world?

Old me would've jumped, but new me

just really isn't looking for that kind of attention.

So... thanks, but no thanks.

You know that I support this whole

Eat, Pray, Don't Post journey that you're on.

But not being visible has consequences, right?

Plus, hot guys! Ugh! If you're into that.

Ms. Keller did seem underwhelmed by my extracurriculars.

And you on the cover of the Style section,

I mean, it would be the best college essay you could ever write.

I'll see you at rehearsal.

- (CHUCKLES) - Yeah, fine.

? You're the only one I ever wanted ?

? All I ever really wanted was you ?

(KEYPAD CLACKING)

? That's where I am ?

? You're the only one I ever wanted ?

? All I ever really wanted was you ?

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

? You're the only one I ever wanted ?

? All I ever really wanted was you ?

? That's where I am ?

? (SONG CONCLUDES) ?

This card is for a full week at the Equinox hotel!

That's worthless. It's in Hudson Yards.

This is a Frank Gehry Hennessy bottle, though.

Hmm. It's gorgeous!

It also worth half a year's tuition.

What does this man do that gets him all this?

Maybe it's just the price to look at him.

Something big is going down

at the debutante ball this weekend.

I'm sorry. Did I just involuntarily time travel?

Did you say "debutante ball"?

WENDY: My deb ball got shut down,

and by "shut down," I mean raided by the FBI.

I need to be on the inside.

Why? You got what you wanted. Tips are flowing again.

I can only keep peddling Julien's false rumors for so long.

What better way to keep up Gossip Girl's momentum

than an unsanctioned live stream?

I see. This is about Camille.

How dare you even suggest that?

Is that really what you think of me?

Okay, fine. I'll play along.

So, how exactly do you plan on getting in?

(SCOFFS) Right through the front door.

MIKE: You like cognac?

- (KATE EXHALES) - I already have one of those.

(CHUCKLES)

I noticed you're going to the deb ball this weekend.

I've always wondered what those are like.

I can rec a few docs you could watch.

Do you have a plus one? (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

I'm flattered, but as a rule, I don't date co-workers.

You'll get 'em next time, slugger.

(EXHALES SHARPLY) So much for the front door.

Always been a backdoor girl myself.

Ugh.

A deb ball? And you said yes?

Yeah, it's gonna look good on my college apps.

Any college that cares about you attending a deb ball

isn't a college that you want to go to.

Things have changed.

You know, they're... they're focusing

on the accomplishments of young women,

not making women accomplishments.

And there's a strong push for diversity.

Monet's mom is the first Black board member this group has ever had.

Your dad thinks it's a great idea.

You talked to my dad already?

Yeah. So, the girls have to be present...

Introduced by their fathers...

Right. Because God forbid you introduce yourself.

And since mine is persona non grata,

Nick agreed to help me out tomorrow night.

He and I have plans tomorrow.

Which he mentioned, but said you wouldn't mind rescheduling.

This is kind of a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and...

Just come with me to rehearsals tonight after school.

Please?

I think I'll pass.

? (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ?

Library? Really?

No one will find us. We're by books.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I... Well, I mean, this is... This is very last semester, no?

No, I mean, we're just trying to keep a low profile.

- You know, Gossip Girl's back... - Yeah.

...and we don't want to be one of her rumors.

- Yeah. - Except we're not a rumor.

(GROANS) I... Y... I knew it.

You guys, you don't want anyone else to know about us.

No, it's just that, like, we don't know what "us" really is yet.

Yeah. And you know what my dad did to me.

I... I just want to come out on my... o... our own terms.

Okay, fine. How about dinner tonight then?

And then after, I can book us a hotel suite,

and everyone can finish unencumbered.

- Good? - Yeah. Um. (MUMBLES)

Yeah. Yeah,

I'll make the res now. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- Great. - Yay.

- I... I'm not ready. - Me either.

Well, he's gonna think it's about him, and it's not.

Well, let's not make it about him.

The attire is white dresses only. They're very strict on that.

I saw this McQueen that I loved. Could it be deconstructed?

It can be anything you want as long as it's white.

Hmm. And you said that I need an escort?

Well, the proper term is "cavalier."

A fellow deb offered up her brother.

He goes to Concord, and he's your height.

- My height? - Well, that's a requirement.

After you're presented by Nick, then you'll go to an escorted waltz.

JULIEN: I don't think I've ever waltzed before.

MONET: Well, you can practice at rehearsal.

You're a natural at everything. You'll pick it up fast.

- (CHUCKLES) - See you there, bestie.

- (KEYPAD CLACKING) - (CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

So... you were right. My dad canceled on me

because Julien needed somebody to present her at some deb ball.

(SCOFFS) His new fav daughter. I warned you.

ZOYA: And Monet has somehow convinced her that the...

The ball has suddenly moved into the 21st century.

SHAN: You know what else has moved into the 21st century?

White supremacy. Religious exemptions.

Amy Coney Barrett.

Since when is Monet de Haan your sister's moral compass?

You need to convince Julien otherwise.

She did invite me to the rehearsal.

Then while she's playing dress up,

you can dress down the whole event. (SNIFFS)

? (STRING QUARTET PLAYING WALTZ) ?

INSTRUCTOR: And reach.

Open up.

And curtsy.

Come back around and look left...

and right.

And we waltz. Two, three.

Two, three. One, two, three.

Turn. Good.

Two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. Turn.

Chin up. Two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

- Turn. And rest. - (ALL APPLAUD)

INSTRUCTOR: Very nice, everyone. You've earned a break.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - ? (WALTZ CONCLUDES) ?

Very impressive for your first waltz.

You're fitting in quite nicely, Miss Calloway.

It's not customary to admit someone this late.

I hope you understand the magnitude of this honor.

I do. Proud to be a part of all the wonderful changes

you're making in this institution.

- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - You made it.

(GASPS) This is not so bad, huh?

It's great. I mean, who doesn't love watching men and women

lined up according to dated roles of gender norms?

JULIEN: You seem to be enjoying the view.

I mean, it's the... It's the least offensive thing.

- (JULIEN CHUCKLES) - ZOYA: Who is he?

Oh, that's my cavalier, Terrell Carter.

The heir to a not-so-modest automotive fortune.

(CLICKS TONGUE, SIGHS)

If only he were a woman, he'd be perfect. (CHUCKLES)

I'm on the arm of a future Brooklyn Net.

The heels they're forcing me to wear.

(JULIEN CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Just watch out for my brother, Julien.

He's the first gay you'll ever meet

with no rhythm whatsoever.

- (JULIEN CHUCKLES) - I mean, other than me.

He's been lovely, Shelby. And I don't mind leading.

I knew that you would fit in here. (CHUCKLES)

? (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ?

- (KEYPAD CLACKING) - (CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

- (KNOCKING) - (DOOR LOCK CLICKS)

Kate.

- What are you... - I'm Julien's counselor.

I was visiting a friend nearby, so I just thought I'd drop these off.

Nice color.

Oh. No one's touched the place in years.

And the girls are okay with who's paying for it?

They understand that decision.

I've come to understand it, too.

I'm really sorry for any stress I may have caused you.

That actually means a lot.

Here.

Brown, Vassar, Smith?

Are you sure these are for Julien?

She's a smart girl.

She'll have a sparkling resume when it's time for college apps.

And something like that deb ball?

It's very good to send her there.

I, for one, am not looking forward to spending a night

with all the people I help sue on a daily basis.

I could come with you as a buffer?

You saved me from all those parents

at the fundraiser last semester.

- Allow me to return the favor? - Hmm.

? (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ?

Uh, are you... are you sure that this is the place

you want to go public?

It's the only place I could get a reservation for three.

- If we were two, or four, maybe, but... - (COUGHS)

Do you have a reservation?

At five o'clock? Does it matter?

(CHUCKLES) Hope, for three?

Ah, yes. We spoke earlier. Right this way.

Um. (CHUCKLES) This table is square.

It is.

I requested round. I get claustrophobic, remember?

(BLOWS)

(SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

Thanks.

(INHALES DEEPLY, CLEARS THROAT)

(CUTLERY CLINKING)

- I want bread. - We just sat down.

Yeah. Well, if you ask before they bring it,

the service will stay on their toes.

Harris, hi. What are you doing here?

My dad owns the building.

He's mulling renting it to Bluestone, but...

if you're here with Aki and Max Wolfe,

maybe it's bouncing back.

Or is Gossip Girl right about you three?

No "or." Only "and." As in, "and I agree."

And God, we should hang out more.

(CHUCKLES) And, um...

And you're done with this conversation? Me too.

(CHUCKLES)

- (CHUCKLES) - I ordered something sparkling.

You know, I... I figured, why not? It's a celebratory moment.

Our first public date.

(DINERS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(SOBS) My mom did it again!

- (SOBS) - What's happening?

AUDREY: I told her I was...

- (FAKE SOBS) - MAX: What?

(SOBS FAINTLY)

- And I'm fine. I'm fine. - MAX: Wanna try again?

Uh, can you take a photo of us? Audrey? Can you...

Yeah, cute. Love that.

(CHUCKLES) Max, why aren't you taking it?

Sh... Uh... Shouldn't I be in it? Is it not... Excuse me, sir?

- Sir! - You know what?

I... I forgot to wash my hands after I did something gross.

Uh... (EXHALES)

(CELL PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES)

- Your phone. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES)

What is it? Obie finally climbed out of that fox's hole?

Uh, no, no, it's just a Deadline alert.

You know, Sundance is coming soon,

- you know? - Hmm.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES)

Okay. Well, then I... I mean, if you need to go to Sundance,

then I guess that this dinner is over.

(MOANS)

(AUDREY GASPS)

- (GROANS) What... - With my boyfriend?

(BREATHES HEAVILY) Let's go, honey. Get your phone.

Sorry, guys.

Dad, you can't sell this place now.

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

JULIEN: Thank you for sticking around.

I really needed the extra practice. (CHUCKLES)

Didn't look like it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(CELL PHONE CHIRPS)

PIPPA SYKES: (OVER PHONE) It's all falling into place.

BIANCA BREER: Julien won't know what hit her.

- How'd you come up with this? - Some talent can't be taught.

Bye.

- (SHELBY WRIGHT SNIFFLES) - JULIEN: Hey.

Is everything okay here?

It's just my girlfriend.

She can't escort me tomorrow night,

and now we're in a big fight about it. So...

Why can't she escort you?

Because this very progressive board

only allows male cavaliers.

It's just one night. Right?

That's what they keep telling me, and I keep telling her.

- But she's... - (CELL PHONE BUZZING)

And that's her.

I better take this.

Hey, babe.

Sorry, I haven't had a chance to call you...

Does your college app have an essay writing portion

- on homophobia? - You heard Shelby.

- It's just one night. - ZOYA: Are you hearing yourself?

One night? Wh... I mean, being forced to hide who you are

for even just a minute is ridic...

Maybe we should stay out of this because it's not our fight.

And what about the great changes

that are being made to this institution?

? (DELICATE MUSIC PLAYING) ?

It isn't progress if you're getting

to pick and choose who's allowed in the door.

If Shelby's okay with it, we have to be, too.

I like it here.

This is the first time in a while I feel like

I have a sense of direction.

Can you not make this one of your causes,

just this once? For me?

- What the hell was that? - (AUDREY SIGHS)

You guys, you seem like you don't want anyone to know about us.

- That's not true. - Not at all!

Okay, well, if I could see anything,

I feel like I would see you were lying.

Look, we wanna do this on our own terms.

- We told you that. - (SIGHS)

Yeah, that's what we were supposed to be doing tonight.

Look, maybe this was just a terrible idea.

Maybe we were just drunk on the holiday spirit, and...

Yeah, maybe we should just end this thing now.

- No. We don... - No!

- We don't want that. - Okay. Prove it.

Okay. Um, I'll text the chain now.

Mm-mm. No.

In public, in front of everyone tomorrow night.

But we have that weird debutante thing.

Yeah. And what better place to come out

than a coming-out party?

Us three on the dance floor,

stealing the spotlight in front of New York society.

Hmm? ? (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ?

Let's rip this Band-Aid off.

It's worse than we thought.

Not only is the deb ball just as bad as we suspected,

- Julien doesn't care! - Copy that.

We kidnap and reprogram. I know a guy.

No. We have to go bigger than that.

Look, you know me. I'm down to go as big as you want to,

but... (INHALES) ...are you sure

this isn't about you not being Daddy's favorite?

This is about justice! And exposing a bloated,

dated organization for the hypocrites they are.

- Uh... Uh... (CHUCKLES) - And I've got the plan to do it.

Shit! All right, all right.

? ("RELIGHT MY FIRE" PLAYING) ?

GOSSIP GIRL: It's debutante season for our lovely ladies,

and while we're excited for all the coming-outs,

we all know it's really about who comes out on top.

CHAIRWOMAN STROUD: Mr. de Haan!

Your wife is already inside.

GREYSON DE HAAN: Pleasure.

I can't believe Gemma wore her hair up.

The ears didn't do her any favors.

- They distract from her face. - (LAUGHS)

GOSSIP GIRL: What better way to celebrate

burgeoning womanhood than with those who raised us?

You look beautiful, Zoya.

Well, how about me? I'm so nervous.

Never would've expected to be at something like this,

but I'm also feeling weirdly proud all of a sudden?

GOSSIP GIRL: Around those we are just getting to know.

But with every tradition is an opportunity to disrupt.

- (CELL PHONE CHIRPS) - GOSSIP GIRL: So girls,

I'd keep my eyes out tonight.

The stairs are steep,

and any humiliation is a long way to fall.

What's it like having a night off?

Off? Babe,

even when I'm not doing everything for JC,

- I'm doing everything for JC. - (CHUCKLES)

She may think this is about her future or whatever,

but I'm going to make sure it hits her present.

When she comes down those stairs, we go live.

- How's your triangle? - All will be well after tonight.

You know I've never been one to stay in the closet.

Spoken like someone who thinks it's only about him?

Uh, no. They promised me that they want what I want.

And that's the only way it works.

No one wants what the next person wants.

That's the way life works.

Have you asked them what they want

- instead of supposing? - Yeah. We're all... W...

We're all very honest with each other. So...

So you know they've been here this whole time?

Look, I know this may be hard,

but do try to keep a low profile tonight?

This isn't your polyamory prom.

It's... sexist Civil War reenactment

masquerading as a societal rite of passage.

I don't want any drama on new Julien's new feed, 'kay?

? ("RELIGHT MY FIRE" CONTINUES PLAYING) ?

- Hey! You guys look great. - You look great.

Yeah. We all look great!

I'm gonna go and get us something we all want.

Yeah, I'm gonna get us something we all want

from a different place. (CHUCKLES)

MAX: What?

KATE: Great. The de Haans are here.

- Oh God, here it comes. - Here what comes?

I did some work for her, and it didn't go well.

Nick Lott, right? Outten and Golden?

- You know who I am? - Yeah.

You went up against my company last year.

One of our factory employees from Buffalo.

Oh. Honestly, I didn't put that together till just now.

Oh, that's because you didn't win.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Julien and my daughter are... Are close. And, um...

- Is this... is this your... - Uh, Kate Keller,

- one of Monet's teachers. - Oh, pleasure.

- And this is my daughter, Zoya. - Yep. I know who she is, too.

Your father and I were just talking about work.

Oh, did he tell you how he just got promoted?

I was just... I was just getting to that part.

Promoted?

Yeah. He's making a lot more money now.

You know, we almost got evicted...

Mr. de Haan doesn't need to know the whole story, Zoya.

I'm gonna get a drink. Excuse me, sorry.

? ("RELIGHT MY FIRE" CONTINUES) ?

- Oh! So you found a way in. - (GROANS)

Catch you later.

? Help me escape this feeling... ?

- Could I get a gin and tonic, please? - Great taste.

I promised to get the exact same for my friend Camille.

On second thought, vodka martini.

Why was it so important for you to come to this?

You don't seem the type to take your work home with you

- on the weekend. - Maybe I just wanted

to join the ranks of the pay-for-players.

- Got any openings? - (SIGHS) I can explain.

Mike, this is Nick, Zoya's father.

He's almost rich enough to afford you,

or he already is, I don't know.

- Okay... - Ah, he got you in instead.

- Instead? - I'm gonna get some air.

? You took away the love that I knew ?

- (DEBUTANTES CHATTERING) - JULIEN: Everything good?

You and your girlfriend?

SHELBY: I... don't know.

I used to, you know. Like, if something ever felt right or wrong,

I'd know what to do.

But I can't tell if it's better to just play along

- or stand up for my beliefs. - (CELL PHONE BUZZES)

JULIEN: I know what you mean.

The old me probably would've caused a scene,

but I'm just confused all the time.

Five minutes till places at the top of the stairs, ladies.

? Your love is my only desire... ?

- Break a leg out there. - Thank you, Andrea.

? 'Cause I need your love... ?

MONET: Hey, hey! Stop loitering! I said be discreet.

- Everything ready? - Yes.

- And Terrell? - All good.

- Perfect. - ANNEMARIE: Hey!

What do you think you're doing? Are you allowed to be in here?

Uh... Hmm. Annemarie, was it?

Yeah, my mom is downstairs waiting for you.

I would hurry if I was you.

ANNEMARIE: Oh, okay. There she is.

Mrs. de Haan! Mrs. de Haan!

- Terrell? Where are you going? - You know me?

Uh, yeah. I'm... I'm Julien Calloway's sister.

TERRELL CARTER: Yeah, no. I know who you are.

You are the star of Gossip Girl.

? I was there with you... ?

Right. Um... (CHUCKLES)

Aren't you supposed to be Monet's cavalier?

Yeah, I was, but shit changed.

I gotta bounce, but I will catch you later, Z.

? The world would be Wild for the dream ?

? So baby don't turn away... ?

- Ooh! - You are so late!

And you are so busted. (CHUCKLES) You're flirting.

Am not.

But where's the package?

I set it down. (CHUCKLES) Are you ready?

CAMILLE: I asked you to refill this for me

over an hour ago, did I not?

I... haven't had a spare moment.

You expect me to present the incoming class

with my phone like a plebeian? Go!

ANNEMARIE: I will do it as soon as I possibly can.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Hi. Uh, I couldn't help

but notice you and Camille de Haan.

- Is everything okay? - I have a job to do,

and she expects me to be her personal assistant.

People like that expect everyone to be their assistants.

So now, the girls are gonna be late to line up

because Mrs. de Haan seems to think

that it is my responsibility to go to the Trustees suite

and get her list for the lineup?

(GASPS) W... I know Camille well.

I'm a teacher at her daughter's school.

I... I could go get it for you,

and you can help the women finish getting ready.

Thank you. Thank you. Okay. (BREATHES HEAVILY)

Down the hall to the left.

? One, two, three, go ?

- ? (UPBEAT SONG PLAYING) ? - (CELL PHONE BUZZES)

This incoming admonition better be a coincidence

and not because you're standing outside watching me

like some kind of Squid Game guard.

Why would it be coincidence? Are you currently

doing something you shouldn't be doing?

Of course you are, because that's all you do lately.

I am at the thing. The debutante thing!

Oh, really? Then why haven't you posted

- anything from there? - Because nothing's happened yet.

Or maybe it's because you're paying attention

to one thing and one thing only!

- Genghis de Haan! - I haven't even seen her.

This was supposed to be about the kids.

It was supposed to create a better future.

But now not only are you letting Julien Calloway run Gossip Girl,

you yourself are in a one-way grudge match...

- (ELECTRONIC LOCK BEEPS) - ...where the odds

and the optics are not on your side.

Wait, why is it so quiet? Where are you right now?

I am in a supply closet so I could hear you better.

- You never wanna hear me better. - Fine. I'm in her room.

In her room?

I... I thought if I could get in, I could maybe find something?

Uh, like what? A signed affidavit

where she admits culpability in the opioid crisis?

Get outta there! Get outta there right now!

(HANGS UP)

- (ELECTRONIC LOCK BEEPS) - (DOOR OPENING)

? (STRING QUARTET PLAYING) ?

ANNOUNCER: (OVER LOUDSPEAKER) Your attention, please.

The presentation of our debutantes is about to begin.

Okay, when Julien starts to walk down the stairs,

that's when we'll do it.

I mean, most eyes will be open, am I right?

CAMILLE: Welcome, everyone.

- ? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ? - (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen.

I seem to have misplaced my hard copy of the roster.

I would like to welcome you all

- and thank you for joining us. - (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

It is with great pride that we introduce to you

- our debutante class of 2022. - ? (STRING QUARTET PLAYS) ?

(ALL APPLAUD)

- Mr. Lott! - Yes. Is everything okay?

- It's Zoya. She needs you. - Why? What happened?

She stepped on a piece of glass. And it's... it's not deep,

but you should probably go see her.

- Okay. Yeah. Please, yes, yeah. - I can... I can take you. Yeah,

- NICK: Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(PAPERS RUSTLING)

CAMILLE: Christine Jean Allen of Fieldstone,

presented by her father, Jeremy Dean Allen,

and escorted by Nathan C. West.

(APPLAUSE)

CAMILLE: Shelby Wright, of Miss Porters,

presented by her father, Nunnaly,

and escorted by Marcus Dutton.

- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) - CAMILLE: Julien Calloway,

- of Constance St. Jude's. - Excuse me, my da...

My... Nick Lott.

Calloway will be presented by her father...

- He's not my father. - ...Davis...

- JULIEN: Davis certainly isn't... - ...Calloway.

? (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ?

SHELBY: Eliza!

What are you doing here?

(ALL GASP)

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

I must have something wrong. I was told

- that Nick was present... - JULIEN: He's not here, though.

- What are you doing? - You invited me.

(CLAPPING)

Hey, everyone. Uh, I am Max Wolfe,

uh, and I want everyone to know that I am...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CELL PHONE DINGS, BUZZES)

(DOOR CREAKS)

Well, well, well.

Monet de Haan, of Constance St. Jude's,

presented by her father, Greyson de Haan,

- and escorted by... - Alexa Kennedy.

- Monet, what are you doing? - Death to the old!

In with the new.

A man will not be escorting me, nor will I be wearing white.

My cavalier is a woman.

But this is... this is my moment.

Isn't it nice to share your privilege?

I should have known.

Monet! What the fuck? Did you invite my dad?

- Why would you do that? - You ruined it.

- Like you ruined everything. - (GASPS)

ZOYA: Hey, hey, hey! Julien didn't do any of this.

- I invited Eliza. - Really?

- (GASPS) - Hey! Stay away from my sister!

You don't get to tell me to do anything anymore.

SHAN: Back off, bitch! That's my girl.

- What are you doing? - Zoya!

DEBUTANTE 1: You just ripped my dress!

DEBUTANTE 2: You're on... No!

- (SCREAMS) - (GASPS)

- Bitch! - (DEBUTANTES SCREAMING)

DEBUTANTE 3: Stop it! You're ruining my big night!

- (WATER SPLASHES) - (SCREAMS)

DEBUTANTE 4: Get away from me! You're stepping on my Loubs!

(ALL YELLING)

(CHOKING)

(BOTH GASP)

- DEBUTANTE 5: Stop it! - Oh my God... (SCREAMS)

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

Nope.

Uh, I was sent in here to get Camille's roster,

and I got locked in.

You don't owe me any explanation.

But if I were looking for a roster,

I certainly would never think to check the closet.

- (ELECTRIC LOCK BEEPS) - But, hey, maybe...

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

- How dare you? - Mom!

- When Zoya reached out... - She didn't.

Please don't be angry at her.

That's not her email address.

You didn't even think to check?

(SCOFFS, INHALES DEEPLY) I only came here

because I thought you wanted me here.

Why would I want you anywhere near me?

I'm your father.

? (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ?

Unfortunately...

you always will be.

Up until recently...

I've lived my life on a path that you and I made together.

If you care about me...

let me go.

? (MUSIC FADES) ?

I cannot believe you destroyed this event.

Not just for yourself,

but for the other young women and their parents.

I just wanted to turn this place on its head.

I wanted to come out how I wanted to come out,

and all I had in mind when I did

was you telling me that...

we don't let them tell us how to act.

We listen to ourselves. I thought...

I thought you would be proud.

So that led you to invite a sexual predator

and humiliate your best friend? I don't have an ounce...

of pride for you.

? (MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING) ?

(BREATHES SHAKILY)

I never thought I would be the kind of parent

who would have to lie about their child.

Every time I talk to your headmistress,

she tells me how you care more about...

how you look than who... you are.

I have to bribe her,

spend hundreds of thousands of dollars,

so that you look like you shine

as bright on the inside as you do out.

Conduct reports can be erased, C's can turn into A's,

but it's just paper.

How do you not feel that shame?

I feel it every second I look at you.

I am embarrassed to know you.

You get out of that ridiculous dress...

and you find me and your father downstairs.

- (SOBS, SNIFFLES) - (DOOR CLOSES)

(SOBS, BREATHES SHARPLY)

(EXHALES, SNIFFLES)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

? (MELANCHOLY MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

Fucking bitch.

AUDREY: Max! Max, don't go.

- I feel so stupid. So played. - Dude, we didn't mean...

- That's not what we... - But you brought me in.

Okay? You convinced me that this was worth something,

and now that I'm here, of course, it's just a lie.

I mean,

this isn't a relationship. We're not equal.

I'm just... (LAUGHS) I'm just your aphrodisiac.

- Dude, you know that's not it. - MAX: Do I?

Prove it. Right here, right now.

End these thoughts, or us.

? (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ?

Are we gonna talk about

what you were doing in Camille de Haan's room?

Are we gonna talk about

what you were doing in Camille de Haan's room?

- ZOYA: Hey, hey, hey! - MONET: Really?

- (ZOYA GASPS) - JULIEN: Hey, stay away...

- (DEBUTANTES SCREAMING) - (JULIEN LAUGHS)

I didn't... I didn't send this in.

I know you didn't. (SIGHS) You always have my back.

Maybe not always.

I invited Shelby's girlfriend.

I was gonna use her to cause a scene.

Same scene, incidentally, that Monet planned.

But minus... minus Davis.

Hey, at least you stand up for your beliefs.

- You know what they are. - I know one thing.

(SCOFFS) I'm jealous.

Ever since you came to live with us,

it's like I don't even exist anymore.

(CHUCKLES) My own dad likes you more than me.

He doesn't. He's...

He's just trying to show me some kindness. And...

I know I take up a lot of space, but I'm the one who's jealous.

- Of me? - You know who you are, Z.

What you want.

I've always been defined by everyone else.

I wanted to start the new year with a new me, but...

I don't even understand who I was to change from it.

Maybe that's okay.

Maybe we all need to get a little more used to...

living in the unknown.

And if I've changed the dynamic between you and your dad...

Maybe... this is just being sisters.

Which is an unknown for both of us.

Whatever's going on between you and Nick,

I know you guys are gonna figure it out. You always do.

And... the unknown can't last forever, right?

(SIGHS)

? ("PALE BLUE LIGHT" BY JESSIE WARE PLAYING) ?

So, tonight was a bust for both of us, it seems?

Speak for yourself.

I'm going home with a couple cavaliers.

? Last dreams... ?

Well, you were right. They don't want me.

That's not what I said. Of course they want you.

? All we're ever made of... ?

Only in the dark, maybe.

That's where they are right now. Because it's safe there.

- Out here... it's scary. - What? Who's scared?

I mean, look at us. We're the fucking tops.

- Everyone wants to be us. - They're different than us.

They've had the privilege of lounging

in society's comfort zone their whole lives.

The possibility of anyone not accepting them

is unknown territory... and terrifying.

Or don't you remember?

? Without you baby... ?

Miss La, it occurs to me that

you may secretly be the wisest among us.

Oh, that's no secret, honey.

GOSSIP GIRL: Here's the thing about the unknown.

At some point, you will come out the other side.

But that doesn't mean you'll like what you find there.

Crisis averted with an even better crisis.

An unintentional level up. Ooh.

The second semester is gonna be even bigger and crazier.

And Monet de Haan ate down in that blue dress, am I right?

- (LAUGHS) - Shannon Barnes.

Please tell your grandmother I send my regards.

I presume I'll see you both in the Seychelles over break.

Damn straight, Shelley. (LAUGHS)

- Do you, uh, know each other? - Tiny confession. My family?

Sorta, kinda super, crazy rich. (LAUGHS)

I mean, it's the least interesting thing about me,

so I tend to leave it off the list. Come on.

GOSSIP GIRL: Which is why it often feels better to lie

than to tell the truth.

Keep the known unknown.

Us in the dark, you in the light.

We talked. We'll do it tomorrow.

W... We narrowed it down to three potential locations.

? Don't leave me dancing... ?

Here's what I'm thinking.

? In the pale blue light ?

I've been pushing too hard.

You know, I thought that if the world knew,

then I would stop doubting if it were real or not.

But I didn't think that by the world knowing it was real

that it would affect you guys.

You're not ready, and that's okay.

You know, just because I am doesn't mean that you have to be.

We just wanted to, uh, respect your feelings.

I respect yours, too.

However long it takes... I can wait.

GOSSIP GIRL: Until the light slowly starts to burn.

After a while, you have to choose.

Confess, or go down in flames.

? In the palm of your hand ?

? Don't let me don't let me go ?

? Can we get back to the times We never had... ?

(SIGHS) I exist again.

- (BOTH LAUGH) - (CELL PHONE DINGS)

? Something is pulling us close ?

? Can we get back ?

? Just let the night Take control ?

? Can we get back To the times that we had ?

? Don't let me go... ?

GOSSIP GIRL: When you're ready to talk,

I'll be here waiting.

You can tell me anything.

Just let me hold this magnifying glass a little bit closer.

You have a guest.

Don't take too long. You have more chores.

? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?

MONET: Yes, Mother.

What do you want?

Um, a reason for what happened last night.

What the fuck was that?

Is this about me backing off the influencer thing?

- Because if... - You think I'm mad about that?

I'm elated, Julien. You know, you're not the only one

who's been reevaluating their future.

I have been wasting my talents keeping you at the top

when you never truly deserved it in the first place.

It's time to lift up a queen who actually wants it.

- Me. - Take it, it's yours.

I'm really not gonna fight you for that.

Yes, you are. I'm going to make you.

Here's the thing about war, Julien.

It only takes one side to start it.

The other side only has to respond.

So get ready.

Because I'm not stopping at taking your place.

I'm taking you down to the studs, bit by bit.

There will be no abdication. Only execution.

? (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ?

I can't wait to see you try.

GOSSIP GIRL: I think I see some smoke.

That which burns the brightest, burns the fastest.

Great knowing you. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0