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1
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,638
Wow, we really pulled
this place together.
2
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,321
Do you think Kenny and Liz will like it?
3
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,351
I hope so. And I hope Liz grams
the hell out of this wedding
4
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,061
for her 300,000 followers.
5
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,872
Oh, I know I've made fun
of her social media,
6
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,398
but now that it could help us
launch our bed-and-breakfast,
7
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,943
we are the ones who are #blessed.
8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,653
Oh, this is lovely!
9
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,863
I hope these nuptials go better than mine.
10
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,407
Elias arrived late, drunk,
and smelling of the maid's perfume.
11
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,201
Hetty, why would you marry that guy?
12
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,484
My father needed to close a land deal,
and I was deemed his most comely daughter.
13
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,082
Damn Margaret and her mustache.
She dodged a bullet.
14
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,417
Hey, you got a minute?
15
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,044
Something I need you to see.
16
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,563
Those are always expensive words to hear.
17
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,214
Oh, Mark, is it bad news?
18
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,632
This could actually be good news.
19
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,968
Well, I'll bring a check
for five grand just in case.
20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,803
No need. I have your card on file now.
21
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,221
Great.
22
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,014
So, I was doing some rewiring,
23
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,451
and when I turned this sconce,
I heard a click from that wall.
24
00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,560
Check this out.
25
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,400
And that's when I discovered
something behind this paneling.
26
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,486
Is it a secret passageway?
Don't toy with my emotions, Mark.
27
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,238
It's never a secret passageway.
28
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,907
But in this case, it is.
29
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,618
- How about that mislead, babe?
- Mark's having fun.
30
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,287
Oh! Oh!
31
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,374
- Did you know about this, Hetty?
- I did not!
32
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,293
What is down the passageway?
33
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,044
Oh, it's good.
34
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,383
I don't understand.
35
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,427
So, we just have a bank vault
under our house?
36
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,637
Well, you said a robber baron
lived here, right?
37
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,682
What? Babe, we might be rich.
38
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,018
Unless, of course,
this is a Geraldo situation.
39
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,395
What is Geraldo?
40
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,981
He was this news anchor
who did this live TV special
41
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,941
where he opened up a! Capone's vault.
42
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,027
And inside? Bubkes.
43
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,112
Don't get me started on al Capone.
44
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,906
- That man was clingy.
- Can you open it?
45
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,408
Think so.
46
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,868
Course, it'll take a while.
47
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,494
- Won't be cheap.
- Mark.
48
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,330
Say the word. Card's on file.
49
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,208
My crooked husband must have built this
to embezzle my riches.
50
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,294
Hetty thinks there might be riches inside.
51
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,546
If this thing is filled with gold coins,
52
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,506
I am definitely gonna
scrooge mcduck in 'em.
53
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,943
Can one of you walk through the
door and see what's in there?
54
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,179
I'll do it. A pinecone trooper's
always up for an adventure.
55
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,765
Peter!
56
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,434
I've never seen that happen before.
57
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,894
Pete bounced off the vault door.
58
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,189
A surface that's
impenetrable to ghosts?
59
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,691
I love it when the
mythology gets expanded.
60
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,277
Puny Pete must not be strong enough.
61
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,280
Stand back.
62
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,621
Well, this is mysterious.
63
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,755
Hetty, do you have any idea
what combination Elias could have used?
64
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,507
Oh, that's a good idea.
65
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,050
Try 0603.
66
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,760
Try 0603.
67
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,137
- It was our anniversary.
- 0603.
68
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,723
- Oh, nope.
- Okay.
69
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,642
Fine. Uh, try 1101.
70
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:04,893
1101?
71
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,895
The maid's birthday.
72
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,647
01.
73
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,694
- Oh, yes!
- Ah, that is heavy!
74
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,740
Okay.
75
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,659
Damn it!
76
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,202
There's nothing in here.
77
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,162
Aw. No riches.
78
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,706
See, now picture this
79
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,958
but with Geraldo having to vamp
for two hours.
80
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,003
Sweet lord, I'm finally free.
81
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,798
Who are all you people? Hetty!
82
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,718
Elias. How are you not rotting in hell?
83
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,720
Good to see you, too.
84
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,139
The ghost of a robber baron
just popped out of our safe.
85
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,849
Hey, where's all your gold, man?
86
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,018
Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you. Welcome.
87
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,395
Back, I guess.
88
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,439
- Welcome back.
- Oh, my god.
89
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,149
Is that...?
90
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,110
My corpse? It is.
The only thing that kept me company
91
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,946
when I was locked in there
for the last 130 years.
92
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,364
Not much of a talker, though.
93
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,410
That must be Kenny and Liz. I'll get it.
94
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,538
Okay. I'll just stay in here
with the corpse and all the ghosts.
95
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,165
I was kidding. Sam, please slow down!
96
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,541
Sam!
97
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,335
So, this is where you've been
all this time?
98
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,964
Yes. What did you think
when I just disappeared?
99
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,424
Didn't you search for me?
100
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,176
You didn't tell anyone about the vault.
101
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,362
I assumed that you ran off
with one of your many floozies.
102
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,680
No. The vault maker locked me in here.
103
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,016
- He left me to suffocate.
- Oh.
104
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,934
- His wife and I had grown close.
- Oh, god.
105
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,687
And when he finished the vault,
there was a debate over payment
106
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,039
and the paternity of his son, but...
107
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,733
- Oh.
- Wait, all of you are ghosts?
108
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,194
Yeah, bro. We've all died
on the property over the years.
109
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,071
Most people go up,
but we just stick around for some reason.
110
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,783
Hi. I am thorfinn.
111
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,160
- I like herring and...
- Wonderful.
112
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,996
Now, how do-eth you, madam?
113
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,539
Really?
114
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,542
Mm-mm. Not happening.
115
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:57,088
- Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
- Hi!
116
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,885
Oh, I am so excited to be here.
117
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,554
I can't believe
we're getting married tomorrow.
118
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,850
Kenny, did you get that?
119
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,602
Oh! Sorry, the phone wasn't ready.
120
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,955
Uh... Okay, this is gonna be
a big weekend for us,
121
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,708
so I'm gonna need you to have your phone
in your hand at all times, okay?
122
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,234
These two seem like a lot.
123
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,652
Oh, so, who's this little guy?
124
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,403
Oh, this is Rooney,
125
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,988
our rescue that we rescued.
126
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,615
Oh, my god, Rooney. I follow him.
127
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,868
Uh, Rooney's got, like, 30,000 followers.
128
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:27,994
What's a follower?
129
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,080
Well, in the cult, it referred to anyone
130
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,998
who'd gotten the tattoo
and slept with Bruce.
131
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,242
Are you guys gonna post
any pictures while you're here?
132
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,295
Feel free to tag us. #woodstoneb&b.
133
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,548
I absolutely will,
134
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,049
just after the wedding.
135
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,718
Actually on a short
social media vacay right now.
136
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,762
It's part of a brand strategy
137
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,640
to make sure that Liz seems
more present for life's big moments.
138
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,933
Exactly.
139
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:54,479
Because life is about what happens
when the cameras aren't rolling.
140
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,191
- Kenny, did you get that?
- Oh, sorry.
141
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,276
Damn it.
142
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,486
- Okay, we'll roll it back.
- Yeah, yeah.
143
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,073
I still can't believe
I didn't ascend into heaven.
144
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,576
I paid the church. There was a contract!
145
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,579
Did you pay for me, too,
or was it just a solo trip?
146
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,163
I was a little pinched at the time.
147
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,166
The mill workers had unionized,
which I put down violently,
148
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,835
but somebody had to pay for that mob.
149
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,169
That is not a great story.
150
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,380
So, you're an actual robber baron.
151
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,340
I mean, you're, like, really rich, right?
152
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:26,011
Let me put it to you this way:
I ate meat several times a week.
153
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,346
Well, it's not a lamborghini,
but that's very cool.
154
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,891
So, did anyone else from our day
stick around as a ghost?
155
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,267
He's gonna ask about the maid.
156
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:36,813
Like, oh, I don't know, say, the maid?
Just to name someone randomly.
157
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:40,025
No, she's no longer here,
you syphilitic reprobate.
158
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:44,905
First off, everybody fun had syphilis,
and I don't appreciate that tone.
159
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,008
Well, then maybe you should go back
down to your vault
160
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,175
and talk to your withered corpse.
161
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,451
There it is again.
162
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,202
What happened to my obedient wife?
163
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,581
Well, modern women
don't just defer to their husbands, Elias,
164
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,434
and I have learned from
the living lady of the house
165
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,185
that when she doesn't like
something, she says so.
166
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:01,129
Like when Jay spent $500 on action doll.
167
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,672
Big mistake.
168
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,759
That living lady
is a dangerous influence on you
169
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,677
with her newfangled notions.
170
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,347
She and Jay
have simply opened my eyes.
171
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,391
They have a respectful marriage,
and you were a terrible husband, Elias.
172
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,851
And my least favorite cousin.
173
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,772
I don't have to stand here
and listen to another word of this!
174
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:22,150
Look, it's not important,
but how hot was this maid?
175
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,992
What kind of servant
doesn't move out of the way?
176
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,833
You want to go into that room
and have sex right now?
177
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,168
I... what?
178
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,338
I want you like I've never wanted anyone.
179
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,716
Uh, sorry, I'm married. But that was
a much-needed confidence boost.
180
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,820
What are you talking about?
181
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,013
About you hitting on me just now?
182
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765
You wish.
183
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,687
Wow.
184
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,939
And this is where it all happens.
185
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:05,819
Wow. The wedding planner was raving
about the heritage menu you're doing.
186
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,238
Now, I've never had squab.
187
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,990
What's that like?
188
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,867
I'd say it's like pigeon.
It's a lot like pigeon.
189
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,471
Well, I'm really looking forward to seeing
what you come up with.
190
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,249
Oh! Blast it, that hurt.
191
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,836
Uh... are you okay?
192
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,629
Yeah.
193
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,216
I feel real good.
194
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,551
Oh, great.
195
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,386
Well, i-I'll just show you the sauces.
196
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,055
All I can think about
is grabbing your butt.
197
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,146
- What? What is it? What's going on, Jay?
- Okay.
198
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,023
I don't know how to tell you this.
199
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,067
- Liz hit on me.
- The bride?
200
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,861
Oh, okay.
201
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,822
Wait, what does that mean?
You don't believe me?
202
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,242
No, it's just... are you sure this isn't,
like, an olive garden situation?
203
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,244
Okay, that waitress definitely hit on me.
204
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,746
What is the olive garden?
205
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,165
It's a restaurant known for
its endless breadstick baskets.
206
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,625
- Alberta and sass are here.
- Oh, hey.
207
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,462
Endless? How is that even possible?
208
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,145
Jay and I ate there a couple months ago,
209
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,299
and our waitress was refilling
our bread basket...
210
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,260
Yeah, and then I said,
"no, thank you, or I'll eat 'olive' them."
211
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,888
Olive. Olive garden.
212
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,932
- Tonya laughed for six straight minutes.
- Yeah, she works for tips, Jay.
213
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,893
Hey, this is a victory for you.
214
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,896
You have me. You're living Tonya's dream.
215
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,773
Okay, so, what exactly did Liz say?
216
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:28,026
She said all she could think
about was grabbing my butt.
217
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,819
Mm. That little thing?
218
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,530
Wait, seriously? She did hit on you.
219
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:33,948
Thafsinsane.
220
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,593
Do we tell Kenny?
Because if we tell Kenny,
221
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,660
then this wedding
probably gets called off, right?
222
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,413
Liz was gonna post about it.
This was gonna put us on the map.
223
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,998
But we got to tell him, right?
224
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,583
Yes.
225
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,586
Ugh, why do you have to be
so damn irresistible?
226
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,005
Sorry. It's a curse.
227
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,549
Hey, guys.
228
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,844
What's wrong, Samantha?
229
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,387
It has been a day.
230
00:09:56,471 --> 00:10:00,141
Tell me about it.
I cannot believe Elias is back.
231
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,228
Till death do us part.
It's right in the vows.
232
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,980
So, why'd you have a bad day, Samantha?
233
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,690
Well, the bride hit on Jay,
234
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,835
and now Kenny's probably gonna
call the whole thing off.
235
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,027
-What? —wait, seriously?
236
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,880
Now she's not gonna post
pictures of the mansion,
237
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,864
and we're not even gonna
get paid for the wedding.
238
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,158
We're, like, this close to
defaulting on our loan.
239
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,244
Samantha, what are you saying?
240
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:23,289
Okay, I hadn't told you guys,
but if we don't start making money soon,
241
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,999
we could lose the house.
242
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,752
No, you cannot leave us!
243
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,064
Just when I finally learned
to look beyond the hideous pants
244
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,674
and see the wonderful person
inside the hideous pants.
245
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,843
You think I want to leave?
I don't know what to do.
246
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,636
I have it. Solution.
247
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,763
You and small man kill yourselves.
248
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,224
Become ghosts.
And then we are friends forever.
249
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,987
But they might not actually become ghosts.
250
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,728
Right, that's the problem with that plan.
251
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,232
Hello, all. Get your spatterdashes
off my table.
252
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,985
I had it upholstered
with the hide of a white rhinoceros
253
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,528
I shot in Kenya.
254
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,446
Oh, my god. Those are extinct now.
255
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,532
Really? We got 'em all? Bully for us.
256
00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,577
Man, he is evil.
And I used to pillage for a living.
257
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,245
Oh!
258
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,541
That thing ran through my leg.
Skin that beast and turn it into a table.
259
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,418
Must everything be a table?
260
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,589
Well, he's really interested
in that Teddy bear.
261
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,883
Ah! Look at the little guy go.
262
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,635
Good boy. Yes, use your hips.
263
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,180
One walk through you and the dog
becomes a sex pervert.
264
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,431
Can't say I'm surprised.
265
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,101
Wait. Elias, did you walk through
any livings today?
266
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,978
Like the bride, to be specific?
267
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,023
Yes, in fact, I did accidentally
happen through her. Why?
268
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,817
That's it. That's why Liz hit on Jay.
269
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,903
Your ghost power is that when people—-
270
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,154
or animals, apparently-...
271
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,989
Walk through you, they get horny.
272
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,365
Really?
273
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,202
Okay, I know he's controversial,
but that's pretty cool.
274
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,829
- Yeah.
- It wasn't Liz's fault at all.
275
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,832
She didn't mean to hit on Jay.
I've got to stop Jay telling Kenny.
276
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,211
Well, I hope you're happy.
277
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,171
You nearly ruined this wedding.
278
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,341
Those two are hemorrhaging cash.
They need this to be a success.
279
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,259
You're saying those livings
need this wedding
280
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:01,095
to go off without a hitch,
otherwise they'll be leaving?
281
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,619
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
282
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,349
Hmm.
283
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,935
Why is he literally twirling his mustache?
284
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,728
It can't be good.
285
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,148
Kenny, hey.
286
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,692
- I've been looking all over for you.
- What's up, buddy?
287
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,527
I don't know how to say this. Um...
288
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:19,864
Okay, y-you know how I'm always
getting hit on by random women?
289
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,991
Is this about
the cheesecake factory waitress?
290
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,827
There's an entire factory
dedicated to cheesecake?
291
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,205
- It's as amazing as it sounds.
- Wow.
292
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,748
No, it's not about her.
293
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,310
You know, she probably writes "thank you"
with the little heart-shaped os
294
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,044
on every receipt. She works for tips.
295
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,047
Uh, Jay. Can I just, uh,
grab you for a sec?
296
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,091
Actually, Kenny and I
were just about to have
297
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,842
a difficult conversation.
298
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:40,927
We were?
299
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,596
Well, no difficult conversations
are needed,
300
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,765
because everything is actually okay.
301
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,600
Oh, hey, it's the monopoly guy.
302
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,143
What are you talking about, Sam?
303
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,397
- I'm talking about the fact that...
- —Criminy.
304
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,485
- Oh, what are you doing, man?
- Just spreading a little love.
305
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,320
Aw, that's sweet.
306
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,906
You two are looking good.
307
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,325
Very good.
308
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,120
Jay? What's going on?
309
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,579
I haven't seen Sam this worked up
310
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,957
since she saw
that movie the holiday on TV.
311
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,085
- Sam?
- Damnation!
312
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,255
You can't just walk through people.
It's the greatest pain there is.
313
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,339
Well, actually...
314
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,133
- Yes, yes, we know.
- Okay.
315
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,384
Well, hello, you two.
316
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,679
Did you leave the oven on?
Or is it just getting...
317
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,347
Hot in here?
318
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,766
Well, enjoy the show.
319
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,310
Hey, Kenny,
320
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,273
didn't you say you didn't have
a bachelor party?
321
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,815
Well, how about we have
a little party right here?
322
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,026
- What?
- I could be Cameron Diaz,
323
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,112
and you two could be
a couple of Jude laws.
324
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,475
Okay, that was not in the movie.
325
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,810
What is that?
326
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,408
Did you just meow at me?
327
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,161
What are you doing? What's going on?
328
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,039
I don't think I'm tall enough
to be Jude law. Liz. Liz. Liz!
329
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,342
What happened?
I feel like I just blacked out.
330
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,630
Me, too. I-I have the strangest urge
to watch a Nancy meyers movie.
331
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,549
Kenny? What's happening?
332
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:06,095
These two just propositioned me
for a threesome.
333
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,305
They what?
334
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,556
We what?
335
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,768
- It was Elias.
- Oh, god.
336
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,354
Uh, there's got to be
some kind of misunderstanding.
337
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,774
No. No. Uh, we did
proposition Kenny, actually.
338
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,942
- What?
- Babe.
339
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,694
As a test of your faithfulness.
340
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,447
And guess what. You passed.
341
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,532
Yep, you passed. Flying colors.
342
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,453
I'm sorry, you two tried
to have sex with my Kenny
343
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,996
the day before my wedding?
344
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,581
No. No, god, no.
345
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,666
Oh, my god, no,
I would not have sex with Kenny.
346
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:39,504
But you guys should definitely
have sex with each other.
347
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,881
Okay, this is too weird.
348
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:45,593
Uh, disgusting. We will not be
having our wedding here.
349
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,346
No, no, no, don't leave.
What about the squab?
350
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,473
The squab!
351
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,521
You know, a bake sale's
a quick way to earn some cash.
352
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,357
Our troop once raised $78 in one week.
353
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,734
- Thanks, Pete.
- What's happening?
354
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,362
The ghosts are pitching ways
for us to make money.
355
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,240
- —That's sweet. Any viable ideas?
- I have a plan.
356
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,075
But it only works if you have a Tommy gun.
357
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,629
- Not really.
- Here's what you do.
358
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,555
You go to New York.
You look up this guy I know.
359
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,748
He's gonna double your money.
His name, Bernie madoff.
360
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,041
Miracle worker.
361
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,544
I robbed a bank once, if that helps.
362
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,255
Did I ever tell you guys about that?
363
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,316
I don't think we're gonna
get out of this mess, Sam.
364
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,052
We're up to our ears in debt.
This house is our only asset.
365
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,456
I think we're gonna have to sell.
366
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:34,267
Aw, are the poors gonna have to leave?
That didn't take long.
367
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,436
I'd tell you exactly how long,
368
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,729
but unfortunately
this thing doesn't work anymore.
369
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,608
You'd think, for $5,000,
it would last into the afterlife.
370
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:47,738
- You spent $5,000 on a watch?
- Wait a minute.
371
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,741
If Elias has that valuable
timepiece on his ghostly person,
372
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,909
that must mean...
373
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,287
The real watch must be on his corpse.
374
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,122
What about a corpse?
375
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,500
Babe, I need you to do me a quick favor.
376
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,755
Yeah, I don't think I can do this.
It's looking right at me.
377
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,050
Babe, he's not looking at you.
His eyes are little, withered husks.
378
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,404
That is not having the calming
effect that you want it to.
379
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,472
Okay.
380
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,475
Okay. Oh.
381
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,561
I know what pocket he kept it in,
but I confess, I'm enjoying this.
382
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:21,731
Guys?
383
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,900
- We got it.
- Yes!
384
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,028
All right! I bet that's worth a
pretty penny in today's dollars.
385
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,590
Definitely enough to keep the bank
off our backs for a few months.
386
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,656
Take that, bank.
387
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:34,160
Yes, I'm sure the bank will be very hurt
that you're making timely payments.
388
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,078
So, this means you're
not selling the house?
389
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,538
No, sass, we're staying.
390
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,766
We have a few more months
to get the business up and running.
391
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,793
Well, I am very happy about that.
392
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,045
Oh, look, Elias,
393
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,631
another opinion.
And nothing you can do about it.
394
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,717
You think this is over?
That I'm just going to give up?
395
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,720
As long as I'm here,
they will never host a wedding
396
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,597
that I don't turn into an all-out orgy.
397
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,474
So just normal wedding?
398
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,976
And I won't stop there.
Whatever they host,
399
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,061
I'll make it horny.
400
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,063
Funeral? Horny.
401
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,689
High tea? Horny.
402
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,401
Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest.
403
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,129
Is this starting to sound good
to anybody else?
404
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,488
Why are you doing this?
405
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,949
Because I want you livings out of here.
406
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,534
You have corrupted my Hetty.
407
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,411
No! I haven't been corrupted.
408
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,455
I have changed. A little.
409
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,667
For the better, I think. Let's be honest.
410
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,461
Elias, you and I were not good people.
411
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,129
We stole. We exploited.
412
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,382
We profited off of others' misery.
413
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,841
We did have fun.
414
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:35,012
But while you were trapped in that vault,
I have been out here,
415
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,681
learning from these people.
416
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,310
Learning from alberta to speak my mind
and learning from Sam
417
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,187
that the Irish are people, too,
apparently.
418
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,439
She says it, but I don't think
she believes it.
419
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,024
Yes, I complain about being here,
420
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,944
and yes, I do want to be
sucked off more than anything.
421
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:53,447
But these people have taught me
how to be a better Hetty.
422
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:58,077
And I say there's hope for you,
too, Elias.
423
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,496
You're here for eternity.
424
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,039
Why not use it to change?
425
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,334
I don't need to be a better person.
426
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,297
There is no good or evil.
That's just a story we tell ourselves.
427
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,715
And I know better.
428
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:16,887
So, Hetty, get this through your tiny,
inferior female brain.
429
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:20,308
I will never change.
430
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,604
Well, then, you can go to hell.
431
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,570
- Whoa!
- Oh, my god!
432
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,988
He just went down on us.
433
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,364
I didn't know that could happen.
434
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,092
Yeah, I don't love
having to worry about that.
435
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,327
Did I... did I just...?
436
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,872
Is that my power, we think?
Banishing people to Hades?
437
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,850
Or it was him just yelling
he was never gonna change
438
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,476
and basically thumbing his nose
at the universe.
439
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,668
That's another possibility.
440
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,211
Well, we should try it out.
441
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,339
Trevor, go to hell.
442
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,506
Why? Why? Why?
443
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,884
Why? Why would you pick me?
What is wrong with you?
444
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:56,969
Guess not.
445
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,097
- —That was so scary.
- Oh, calm down.
446
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,648
I mean, this is just a big day
in terms of ghost rules.
447
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:09,899
So, the floor opens up,
448
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,902
and this guy falls through
right in front of you?
449
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,152
That's incredible.
450
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,363
Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful
about this new horror
451
00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,715
we all have hanging over our heads.
452
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,241
You got to tell me how it happened.
I mean, was it hot?
453
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,911
Was there screaming?
Was country music playing?
454
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,454
Well, there was screaming,
455
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,040
but I'm pretty sure that
was just from our ghosts.
456
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,541
Thor not scream.
457
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,753
Thor not scared of some silly hole
in the ground.
458
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,839
Because Thor working
towards being better person.
459
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,216
Very open to change.
460
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,010
It all happened so fast. It was,
like, this red light, suddenly,
461
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,095
and then whoosh.
462
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,721
Mm! He went down on us.
463
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,407
Alberta, I'm not sure
that's the best term—-
464
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,271
what? If that's the term
that she wants to use,
465
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,601
then she can do it.
466
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,395
Hello, all.
467
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,397
I'm feeling in a good mood,
468
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,067
so you may all remain
on this earthly plane tonight.
469
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,819
So funny.
470
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,446
Hettyjust came in, joking about
trying to send Trevor to hell.
471
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,448
Aw, too soon, Hetty.
472
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,202
Trevor, I told you,
I knew it wasn't going to work.
473
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,204
I don't actually have that power.
474
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,539
Or do I?
475
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,374
Thorfinn, you're in my seat.
476
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,543
Moving! Yes.
477
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,798
Wasn't comfortable there, anyways.
36725
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