Original subtitles

♪

Im sorry, viewer,

the TV show youre searching for

cannot be streamed in your reality.

Please stand by for reconnection.

♪

From the darkest depths of cyberspace,

there is another world.

A lost dimension, home to wonders unseen,

terrors unspeakable.

♪

Stories unlike any ever told until now.

♪

Do not click "Back."

Do not reload.

We have reconnected to

Dimension 404.

♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪

Come on.

(groans)

♪

♪ I aint a saint, Im just a man on a mission ♪

(females laughing)

Hey, you know what?

Hey, theres no shame in expressing yourself

through movement, okay?

(laughing continues)

Could you delete that, please?

Hey!

Really?

All right, fine, I dont--

♪ Im not gonna wait for you ♪

♪

Youth.

Now playing in Dimension 404,

a tale of terror, tragedy, and

this guy.

(car horn honks)

Dustin Harland had bent

to the beat of his own drum,

but tonight, this Gen X ronin

faces his greatest enemy:

millennials.

Hearts will be broken,

blood will be shed,

and its all coming soon to a theater near you.

(car horn honks)

Okay, gotta go, Uncle Dustys here.

Oh, uh, Dad wants to know if you found a new job yet.

My--hey, you know, tell your father to--

Not yet.

Gotta go, though, lots of drugs to smoke

before the show.

Yeah, were meetin my meth dealer at the theater!

All right, I love you too, bye.

(shrieks)

-Hey, hey. -Hi, hes such a dork.

Oh, well, you know, like father, like daughter.

Oh, and as king of the dorks, you would know.

Tis a heavy crown I wear, mlady,

but take heed, for one day, you may inherit my kingdom.

Were late, by the way, so can we stop riffing

and start driving?

Oh, whose fault is that?

And we cannot get going until we have the proper tunes.

Im kinda feeling

"Waynes World" soundtrack again, no?

Hm, Im thinking something moreretro.

♪ So happy now ♪

(scoffs)

♪ Forget the past ♪

-No, no, turn it off. -♪ And let those glory days-- ♪

What, you love this!

I hate this song!

-Its your favorite! -Not since, like, the 7th grade!

Oh, wow, Chloe.

Oh, they grow up so fast.

All right, how bout we play a little Lordi?

Its pronounced "Lord."

I know that, I meant Lordi, the Norwegian death metal band.

Lordi is Finnish, not Norwegian.

See, there she is, theres my niece!

Yes, I was so afraid my yuppie brother

had turned you into a pod person.

All right, so, this is the first movie night

in many a moon, so because of that

Im gonna let you, mlady, choose tonights feature.

Now, "Re-Animator" is at The Rep.

Oh, and "Suspiria" is at The Independent.

♪

Actually, um, I was thinking something

a little bit less retro.

♪

Oh, God, are you joking?

Um, no.

"Chosen: The Final Saga"?

Yeah, its the finale franchise semi-reboot of the original.

But now--it says "Part I."

Well, yeah, but they always split it into two, maybe three,

I cant remember.

Plus the leads kinda cute.

"Kinda cute--"

There is a treasure trove of cinematic treats

playing all over the city tonight

and you wanna go to some

teenybopper franchise churn-em-out.

I dont know, I think it looks kinda fun.

Who--who are you and what have you done with my niece?

Oh, come on, stop being a curmudgeon.

Lets go!

(groans)

Tell me again why were not seeing a real movie.

Hey, this place is state-of-the-art.

They just got that cool new format.

Oh, what, Cinethrax?

What marketing wizard thought that one up?

Uh, Cineblog said that its crazy intense.

Some guy at the first test screening went totally insane.

They had to roll him out in a wheelchair.

Oh, oh--so some geriatric shits himself,

PR jumps all over it, they hype it up.

See, this is what they do, Chloe.

They get the cast of some cancelled CW show,

uh, they put a fresh coat of CGI on it,

get a fast food tie-in--

What--what are you-- what is that?

What are you doing, what are the little hieroglyphics?

Uh, theyre called emojis, your majesty.

I know that, I just--

God forbid people actually communicate

using real words.

Oh, they have one for you now.

Uh, its a dog poop with a smiley face.

Oh, thats--if it was me, it wouldnt be smiling.

Two for "Chosen: The Final Saga."

Thatll be $57.

What a bargain!

Hey, um, my brother fronted you a little bit of--

Hey, if you insist.

Two, please.

Theater 12.

Enjoy the show.

Well try.

Jesus, what is this, is this a movie theater

or a cyborg art installation?

Its kinda rad.

This place used to show 35mm.

I saw the "Silent Running" here when I was your age.

God, what a shame.

What are you doing, you need those.

No, because I came with an ace up my sleeve.

(imitates gunshot)

Old Florida people glasses.

What, no, no.

The--these are called shifters.

They take 3D and they flatten in out

into regular 2D.

And you just happen to have these on you at all times?

Well, Chloe, I always feared for the day

that you took me to a 3D movie.

I just didnt know it would happen so soon.

Here, I got you a pair.

It was two for one on Cyber Monday.

Im not gonna wear these, Im gonna look like a weirdo.

You--but youre in a theater.

Uh, yeah, surrounded by people.

Surr--

Youre worried about what those people are gonna think?

I might.

Okay, let me level with you.

Are these gonna make you look weird?

Yes.

Are people gonna point, stare, laugh?

Maybe, maybe.

Should you care?

No, absolutely not.

Listen, Chloe, people are always gonna try to shame you

into some brainwashed version of normalcy, all right?

You cant.

All right, keep Chloe weird.

-Fine. -Yeah!

Just dont post any pictures on Instagram.

Yeah, I dont think you have to worry about that.

-Okay. -All right.

Well, Ill get the seats, you get the snacks.

-That cool? -Yes, that is cool.

All right.

Lets rock and roll.

♪

Rosemary scrambled quail eggs,

the tofu dog with mango aioli.

We also have a vegan sausage biscuit

with jalapeño chutney.

(crowd chatter)

Popcorn.

Yeah, we got that.

Regular or jumbo?

Dude, jumbo.

(camera shutter snapping)

His clothes are totally cash.

Can I help you young ones with something?

Are you sure youre in the right place?

Yeah, sure.

Well, the silent film theaters across the street.

♪

(Chloe giggling)

♪

Do you wanna go get a burger?

(Dustin clears his throat)

Oh, excuse me, sir.

I should get back.

Big night.

-Catch you later, Chloe. -Later, Zach.

♪

Popcorn?

Oh, sorry, maybe later.

Oh, well, you know, theres two amazing seats

up in the phantom center.

Yeah, yeah, I know, um,

but theres more space down here and I just--

Space for what?

Hey, bitch, whats up?!

Oh my God, girl, whats up?

Oh my gosh, I totally saw you macking on Zach.

Just do him already.

Um, Uncle Dusty, these are my friends,

Brie and Alexis.

Thats my Uncle Dusty.

Hey.

Yeah, we go way back.

Uh, just give me a second.

What is going on?

I thought movie night was our thing.

I havent seen you in forever.

I know, I know,

but, look, these girls are really cool

and we never get to hang out and

they know Zach, Im sorry.

Okay, well, where am I supposed to sit?

Well, theres still that one seat up

in the phantom center.

You mean, like, alone?

Okay, you know what, no, Im fine,

I will tough it out down here

in the front row with you guys.

Ew.

Really, um, are you sure, cause--

No, no, theres a seat right behind you,

next to

thatguy.

Ill be fine.

Youre not being sarcastic, Uncle Dusty,

right now, are you?

Maverick, I have got your six.

-Boom. -Oh, yeah, there you go.

Uh, hey, uh, Boromir, do you mind?

I am genderbent Coltantha.

Thats great.

Mom did a great job on the sword.

She only bought the materials.

Oh my God.

Look, look, here he comes.

Hello, everyone.

Whos excited to see "Chosen: The Final Saga Part I"

in Cinethrax?

(cheering, applause)

He gave me some gum earlier.

Cool.

Are you gonna spit it out or swallow?

Oh my God!

Well, we want to make this film as immersive as possible,

so please turn off your phones

and remain silent during the movie.

Just sit back, open your minds,

put your Cinethrax glasses on,

and enjoy the show.

(applause, cheering)

Nice shades.

Do you have diabetes or something?

OhI know, right?

Someone just must have left these under my seat.

(sighs)

Its showtime.

♪

Your world is about to change.

Brace yourself for the next dimension of cinema.

Brace yourself for Cinethrax.

(cheering, applause)

♪

Embrace the experience.

(cheering, applause)

This is gonna suck.

♪

♪

All my life they told me I had to choose.

You must choose, Chosen.

Well, today I choose

to fight!

(cheering, applause)

♪

Whoa!

♪

All my life I was told I had to choose.

But, you know, from the moment I was born,

the day they named me the Chosen One,

I never felt like I had a choice

(clears throat)

until now.

Even if it is my destiny,

I choose to follow it.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, uh, Chloes friend,

theres no texting.

Can I help you?

Can you--you know, I dont know, maybe.

Your friend, her phone is distracting

the other people in the theater.

-Shh! -Its on vibrate!

It shouldnt be on anything.

All right, didnt you see the little cartoon at the beginning?

Theres no texting.

What are you, like a cop?

What--what are you, like her lawyer?

Oh God.

Sprechen sie English?

God, Chloe, can you believe this?

Shh!

Um, maybe just put it on silent til the movies over?

Thank you.

(sighs)

I am Coltantha, the Chosen One.

Let me see.

Dont be shy.

Your digitask could hold the key

to Chancellor Huxleys weakness.

♪

(sighs)

Okay.

♪

Well, what do they say, Steve?

♪

Perhaps the enemy is not who they seem.

The true menace has yet to be revealed.

What does that mean?

We just need to be careful is all.

What does that mean?

We cant be sure whos foeor friend.

What does that mean?

(sighs)

Do you remember how we met?

How quickly you stole my sword from me?

♪

Yeah.

♪

Yeah, yeah, you scared me, Coltantha.

♪

You still do.

Hey, could I borrow your glasses really quick?

-What, no! -Just for a second, come on.

Dude, get your own.

No, Ithrew mine away.

Well, that was stupid.

Well--I just--

Sometimes you can be so thick.

When are you gonna realize that you are home,

that you do belong

with us?

♪

With me.

♪

Chloe, hey, really quick, put your shifters back on,

tell me what you see.

Not now, Dusty.

No, I just wanna check something, okay?

We can talk about the format when the movies over!

No, its not that, its not that--

-Shh, oh my God! -Excuse me?

So you can talk all you want but we cant text?

I have a legitimate question about the film.

The film, its the big video thats showing

behind your little phone screens.

Please dont ruin this for me, okay?

Fine!

(sighs)

♪

Oh, Coltantha.

♪

(soft moaning onscreen)

♪

(dialogue continues onscreen)

♪

The hell?

♪

Oh!

(hisses)

♪

(glasses tap softly on floor)

♪

Okay, okay.

♪

(groaning)

♪

When are you gonna realize that you are home,

that you do belong

with us?

Its not that simple.

Yes, it is.

(screams)

♪

Holy balls!

-Oh, Jesus Christ! -Dusty, calm down, whats wrong?

God, theres something loose in this theater!

Yeah, a big dumb loud guy.

-Shut up. -No, no, not me.

Theres--theres something coming off of the screen!

Its just the 3D, idiot.

Yeah, I know, idiot.

Chloe, keep your feet up, it could be anywhere.

Is there a problem, sir?

-Oh my God. -Yes, theres a big problem,

theres a big tentacle snaky thing loose on the floor.

Okay, sir, how bout we discuss this in the lobby?

What, no, no!

Chloe, come with me.

Chloe, its not safe.

Chloe!

(audience booing)

(scoffs)

Ill be right back, okay?

A monster reaching out of the screen

and attacking people?

I know it sounds crazy, okay?

Thats not crazy, thats Cinethrax.

Its the next dimension in cinema.

Its--no, its not part of the film, okay?

There was an actual thing coming out of the screen.

It--it was this close to my face.

Yeah, man, thats Cinethrax.

You know, its so believable you think youre there.

Can I talk to an adult?

I am an adult.

Oh, thats adorable.

Uh, can I talk to a manager?

I am the manager.

Youre the m-- what are you, 12?

What are we in, Narnia?

-Dusty! -Dustin, at this cinema,

we believe that the customers always right.

However, I do have to point out

that no one else in there had a problem with the projection.

Okay, so Im-- so Im making this up?

Im crazy, is that what youre saying?

No, but

Look, maybe it was just your weird glasses

messing with the 3D.

Wait, hold on a second.

You were wearing unauthorized third-party eyewear?

Theyre--theyre called shifters.

Ah, and these shifters, you were wearing them

when the tentacle monster appeared?

Yes.

And what happened when you took the shifters off?

The--

It disappeared but--the--

-Right. -Okay, whatever.

Im just telling you what I saw, all right?

Or what I thought I saw.

You know what, we will just get a refund

and we will be on our way, all right?

Um, actually, Id like to stay and finish the movie.

Oh, well, okay, you know what?

Thats too bad because the train is leaving, all right?

-Come on, Chloe. -No.

♪

N--

Okay, Im sorry, did I embarrass you

in front of your little friends?

Yes.

Yes, you did.

Youve been embarrassing me all night

and the worst part is you dont even care.

That--like hell I dont.

Well, this cute monster stunt is one hell of a way of showing it.

♪

Chloe.

Look, you--you say you want me to stay weird,

but you just want me to be like you.

Well, I dont want to be like you,

not if youre going to act like this.

I want my own friends my own age.

I want to fit in, okay, I want to

andif you have such a problem with that

then you can just

you can just go to hell.

♪

-Chloe-- -Ill find a ride home.

Wait, Chloe, Chloe.

No, Chloe, wait.

-Chloe-- -Sorry, sir.

We cant let you back in there.

What are you--are you serious, this is bullshit!

Look, man, do you really wanna cause a bigger scene right now?

I--I dont--I--

-Shit! -Hey, tell you what,

weve got a place where you can hang,

wait the movie out, and if you seem chill,

then maybe I can get you back in.

Cool?

♪

Fi--fine, lets go, lets go.

♪

(hum of lights and projector)

Come on in.

♪

Excuse me.

♪

-Whats going on? -Its fine.

Ill take care of it.

♪

Have a look.

♪

Chloes right down there, safe and sound.

♪

So youre cool Uncle Dusty, huh?

(chuckles)

Chloe talks about you all the time.

-Oh. -Yeah, youve seen, like,

every movie ever, right?

-Ive seen a few. -Yeah, thats what Chlo said.

Have you seen "Larrivée dun Train en Gare de La Ciotat"?

Uh, what?

"Train Pulling Into a Station"?

Lumière Brothers, 1895, its, like, the first short film.

Oh, I--yes, Ive seen that one.

You know, when they showed it at Le Grand Café,

the audience actually thought a train

was gonna come out of the screen.

They ran screaming from their seats.

(chuckling)

Does that sound familiar?

♪

Good thing they didnt play that on Cinethrax, right?

(laughing)

♪

Aw, look, Im sorry.

No offense, all right, butI gotta say,

from one film buff to another,

your apprehension surprises me.

Cinethrax is just like color or sound or cinema itself.

You know, but, you know, change, it can be scary

but theres no stopping progress,

so why resist?

♪

Its like watching "Star Wars" for the first time.

♪

Its really that good?

Try it, dont try it, its all the same to me.

But let me put it to you this way:

do you wanna keep being cool Uncle Dusty

or do you want to be the guy who ran away from the train?

♪

You know what?

♪

Fuck you.

♪

Should we do it now?

♪

(beastly screeching)

♪

Your wickedness and foolishness

tempt me to hate you.

Im afraid, Chosen.

This is worse than the--

♪

(yelling)

♪

(choking, gagging)

♪

Oh my God.

Oh, Chloe, Chloe.

♪

(sighs)

♪

Come on, check in here.

♪

(door creaking)

(panting)

♪

Fuck.

♪

Shit.

(cell phone ringing)

♪

(cell phone beeps)

Here they come.

Look out, get down!

Quick, take this

to the citadel.

Hi, this is Chloe.

I literally never check these messages.

Text me or something, okay?

♪

Uncle Dusty.

(beeping)

♪

Are you in there, little Uncle Dusty, huh?

♪

(ethereal singing)

♪

I missed you, you know?

I thought that you had left forever.

I couldnt leave you.

But you did, you left me!

I did that one time but I couldnt do it again.

(cell phone vibrating)

So much has changed, W, Ive changed!

Im not that little girl that you hung out with

at the citadel.

Shit, stupid--

♪

Uncle Dusty, are you in there?

♪

Somethings never change, Chosen.

Dont call me that!

See what I mean?

Fuck!

♪

(banging on door)

Come on, buddy, open up!

♪

Giving in isnt the same as giving up.

(phone pad vibrating)

♪

(door handle jangling)

♪

♪

(phone pad vibrating)

♪

(panting)

♪

Uncle Dusty!

♪

(thunderous roaring)

(screaming)

♪

-Join us, Chlo. -Totally, do it.

(all chanting) Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

-Join us, Chlo. -Join us, Chlo.

♪

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

(shrieking)

♪

(gnashing)

♪

(screams)

(hissing)

♪

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

-No! -Embrace the experience.

-No! -Embrace the experience.

-No! -Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

♪

Embrace the experience.

♪

(shrieking, hissing)

♪

(glass shatters)

♪

(panting, whimpering)

(muffled grunting)

♪

Dusty!

♪

(whimpering)

♪

Sup, Chlo?

♪

Let us go, you assholes.

Hey.

Shh.

Relax.

Everythings gonna be all right.

♪

You know,

in a way,

we envy the both of you

♪

seein it again

♪

for the first time.

To feel its touch inside us.

To sense ourselves connecting to something

-Wonderful. -wonderful.

Zach, please dont hurt him.

Hurt him?

Is that what you think this is?

Dude, you got it all wrong.

Do you think it came all this way just to hurt us?

It came to unite us.

It came to make us one.

♪

Do you know how unhappy I was before Cinethrax came?

♪

I was angry.

I was confused.

I was just like you.

I was alone.

♪

Well

Im not alone anymore.

And you dont have to be either.

♪

(grunting)

♪

(Chloe whimpering)

♪

No!

(grunting)

Come on, Dusty.

Your body is host to trillions of organisms.

♪

Whats one more?

No, no!

♪

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

Embrace the experience.

♪

(ear-splitting screeching)

♪

-Are you? -No.

-Are you? -No.

-Okay. -Okay.

(beastly shrieking)

(panting)

♪

You guys still dont get it.

The world is about to change

and if you dont adapt youll die!

♪

No, Chloe, Chloe!

No, no!

Dont look, Chloe, no!

(Chloe screaming)

♪

Hey, asshole.

Huh?

Embrace this.

♪

Come on, Chloe.

♪

Come on, Chloe, lets go.

♪

Chloe, lets go.

♪

Go?

♪

Theres nowhere to go.

♪

They were right, it doesnt hurt.

No, go, Chlo--Chloe, no.

Chloe, snap out of it, snap out of it, okay?

-Were almost free. -We are free.

All of us, our world has changed.

You dont have to be afraid anymore.

No, no, okay, youre still in there,

I know youre still in there.

Of course Im still in here.

We all are.

No, listen, we can-- Ill get you outta here,

Ill get you outta here, okay, everythings gonna be okay!

Everything already is.

♪

Oh God.

Oh God.

♪

(din of screaming crowds)

♪

(sirens wailing)

♪

Please dont go.

You know how lonely it is out there.

Stay with me and youll never be alone again.

Stay and watch the movie.

♪

What, just bend over for some galactic hive mind?

♪

(loud alarm blares)

(screaming crowds)

I cant lose you, Chloe.

♪

♪ So happy now ♪

♪

♪ Forget the past ♪

♪ Let those glory days just fade into black ♪

♪

♪ Live in the moment ♪

♪ Just feel at ease ♪

♪ Put a smile on your face

cause thats all that youll need ♪

♪ No care in the world,

so fancy and free ♪

♪ The present is perfect,

you love what you see ♪

♪ Yesterdays over and out ♪

♪ The happiest moment ♪

♪

Is--is--isnow?

♪

♪ Whistling a tune wherever you go ♪

♪ Take that old nostalgia and throw it over the moon ♪

-♪ Over the moon ♪ -♪ Sunshine in June ♪

♪ Sunshine in June ♪

♪ Flowers that bloom the whole year round ♪

-♪ Yesterdays over and out ♪ -♪ Over and out ♪

♪ The happiest moment is now ♪

♪

♪ The happiest moment is now ♪

♪

♪ The happiest moment is-- ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪

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