Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,465
♪
2
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,220
Im sorry, viewer.
3
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,182
The TV show
youre searching for
4
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,312
cannot be streamed
in your reality.
5
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,690
Please stand by
for reconnection.
6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:25,278
♪
7
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,816
From the darkest depths
of cyberspace,
8
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,990
there is another world.
9
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:35,540
A lost dimension,
home to wonders unseen,
10
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,326
terrors unspeakable.
11
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,459
♪
12
00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:43,707
Stories unlike any
ever told until now.
13
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,501
♪
14
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:48,514
Do not click Back.
15
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,297
Do not reload.
16
00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:53,851
We have reconnected to
17
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:56,716
Dimension 404.
18
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:10,863
♪
19
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,283
So, what do you do?
20
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:16,701
♪
21
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,702
Huh?
22
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,794
What do you do?
23
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:23,380
Oh, uh, I kinda run
this music blog.
24
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,285
Uh-huh, and where are you from?
25
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,344
Well, originally Im from Maine.
26
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:31,298
Uh-huh, and where
do you live now?
27
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,140
Right here, in Brooklyn.
28
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,465
♪
29
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:35,850
(clearing throat)
30
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:41,766
♪
31
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,149
So, what do you do?
32
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,305
I dont like to talk about work.
33
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,654
♪
34
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,650
Look, I hate these things, too.
35
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,323
You know, I feel like
everyone in the room
36
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,031
can tell that were
on a first date.
37
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,831
No ones paying attention.
38
00:01:56,826 --> 00:01:58,986
So, if you could be any animal,
39
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,414
what animal would you be?
40
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,372
This isnt going
very well, is it?
41
00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:05,584
Yeah, no, this is over.
42
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:06,884
You can go.
43
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,457
♪
44
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,013
Good luck out there.
45
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:16,096
♪
46
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:18,885
Some romances last a lifetime,
47
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,809
but most dont make it past
the first cup of coffee.
48
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,599
Still, dont feel too bad
for our lonely lovebird Adam.
49
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,944
Thanks to the magic
of ones and zeroes,
50
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,230
hes about to meet
his one and only.
51
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,824
Her names Amanda.
52
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,279
She likes craft
beer, good music,
53
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,990
and she lives on
the Lower East Side
54
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,831
of Dimension 404.
55
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:43,076
♪
56
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,830
Well, its official.
57
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,463
Im gonna die alone.
58
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,669
What?
59
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,999
Dont say that.
60
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,264
Greg, Ive looked, flirted,
61
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,376
and met-cute half of
the women in Brooklyn,
62
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,973
and Im honestly
starting to think
63
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,928
that my soul mate
doesnt exist.
64
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,388
You know, shes like
a myth, like Bigfoot.
65
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,979
Dude, she exists,
shes out there.
66
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,435
Just like Bigfoot.
67
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:07,556
-Wow, I need a beer.
-Youre out of beer.
68
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,773
Look, man, you just
gotta broaden your horizons.
69
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,320
Stop meeting weird
randos on the street
70
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,951
and start meeting them online.
71
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,777
Online, online dating?
72
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,032
-Yeah.
-No!
73
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,494
Look, I dont want
some algorithm
74
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,543
telling me who to hook
up with, all right?
75
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,037
I just want to meet
a cute girl, you know,
76
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,420
with a cute little
red streak in her hair
77
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,287
and a tattoo of a bird
78
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,844
while were both reaching
for the same Talking Heads LP.
79
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,218
There are 413 eligible women
that are Talking Heads fans
80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,296
within a two-mile radius
of this apartment.
81
00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:42,063
Wait, really;
what is that?
82
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:44,016
Make-A-Match, bro,
everybodys on it.
83
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,186
Why are you on it,
arent you with Charlene?
84
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,015
Im not on it, you are.
85
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,321
-I made you a profile.
-What, when?
86
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,815
Last night when I
drank all your beer.
87
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,486
-Greg!
-Come on, man.
88
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:57,485
Look at all of these women.
89
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,368
What do you have to lose?
90
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,195
All right, fine.
91
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,540
But seriously, stop
drinking all my beer.
92
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,496
No promises.
93
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,827
I cant afford it,
you can, so I drink it.
94
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,252
♪
95
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,631
We met on Make-A-Match.
96
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:16,298
♪
97
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,008
Make-A-Match
helped me find exactly
98
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,298
what Ive been
looking for all my life.
99
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,432
Their personality profile
truly reached deeper
100
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,719
than the other sites.
101
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,142
♪
102
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,981
Its magic, I dont
know how they do it.
103
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,558
At Make-A-Match, we believe
104
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:33,232
theres someone out
there for everyone.
105
00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:37,402
Sign up today and well find
your 100 percent perfect match
106
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,743
guaranteed.
107
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,277
Welcome to love.
108
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,240
Welcome to Make-A-Match.
109
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,701
♪
110
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,870
(sighs)
111
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,753
(app pulsing)
112
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:58,760
♪
113
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,771
Amanda.
114
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:14,309
Shes a med student,
she likes hanging out.
115
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,534
I mean, shes cute.
116
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,145
Favorite band: The Pixies.
117
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,612
Thats a start.
118
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,912
Yeah, but still, I mean
119
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,236
this is my 100 percent match?
120
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,952
Wheres her bird tattoo?
121
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,662
Oh, my God, she winked you.
122
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,332
-She what?
-She checked you out
123
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,920
and she likes what she sees.
124
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:32,915
(groans)
125
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,626
Just ask her out already.
126
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,757
God, you know, this--
this--this is too weird.
127
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,085
I cant do it, Im out, no.
128
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,179
Dude, you are going
on a date with this girl
129
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,085
if I have to pump you
full of benzodiazepine
130
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,473
and drag you there myself.
131
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:50,562
Fine, but only because
I am desperately lonely.
132
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,269
Thats the spirit!
133
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,939
♪
134
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,268
♪ Say you dont like your life ♪
135
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,614
♪ Well Ive got mine,
yeah, what about mine ♪
136
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,781
♪ Say you dont like your life ♪
137
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,280
♪ Well, I dont really care
138
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,531
cause I dont want
to hear about it ♪
139
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,044
♪ Dont want to hear about it ♪
140
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,707
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
141
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,115
Hi, Amanda?
142
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,373
Adam, hi.
143
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,834
Hi.
144
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,964
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
145
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,761
Um, I got us two Handlebars,
146
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,755
is that okay?
147
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,877
Yeah, uh, actually, thats my--
148
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,554
thats my favorite beer.
149
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,562
Mine, too.
150
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,095
Im sorry, did, uh,
151
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:31,889
did you change hair?
152
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,852
Oh, yeah, I, uh,
sorry, I just dyed it.
153
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,563
I guess I shouldve updated my--
154
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,863
No, no, its--its okay.
155
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,476
I-I like it.
156
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,113
Good, yeah,
I thought it was time
157
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:44,450
to just mix up my look,
plus it goes with Charlie.
158
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,986
-Charlie?
-Charlie.
159
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,490
♪ Dont want to hear about it ♪
160
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:52,753
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
161
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,246
♪ Dont want to hear about it ♪
162
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,329
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
163
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,464
(laughing)
164
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,172
Uh, all right,
well, the Pixies,
165
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,933
Neutral Milk Hotel, uh,
166
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,006
well, Hall & Oates
because, I mean, duh, right?
167
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,352
And, um
168
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,808
oh, well, have you ever heard
of a guy named Ben Branson?
169
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:17,309
Uh, a.k.a. my childhood crush
from age 14 till now.
170
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,862
What, shut up!
171
00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,566
No, I-I went, I saw him
at Great Woods in 2001,
172
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,987
and I basically went
through puberty on the spot.
173
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,986
Wait, wait, wait, are you--
are you being serious?
174
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,568
Cause I was literally
at that same show.
175
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,374
-No.
-Oh, yeah.
176
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,697
I snuck out with my cousin,
got grounded for three weeks,
177
00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,753
completely worth it
cause the double encore?
178
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,166
Yeah, and them closing with
179
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,785
-Tokyo Heartache.
-Tokyo Heartache.
180
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,882
Oh.
181
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,707
(laughing)
182
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,632
You know, uh, Ive been told
183
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,180
I bear a, um, a striking
resemblance to Ben Branson.
184
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:51,006
I mean, I wouldnt say striking,
but I can certainly see it.
185
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,353
Okay.
186
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:57,058
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
187
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,770
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
188
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:01,520
Tokyo Heartache?
189
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,733
Come on!
190
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,993
How is this happening right now?
191
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,315
Well, I did put it
on the jukebox
192
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,491
like five minutes ago.
193
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,699
So.
194
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,240
Oh.
195
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:15,413
♪ She held my hand ♪
196
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,792
♪ All the way to the terminal ♪
197
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,380
♪ You let me go ♪
198
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,875
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
199
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:27,469
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
200
00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:31,006
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
201
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,681
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
202
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,191
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
203
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,685
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
204
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:45,728
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
205
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:52,744
♪
206
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,914
Well, its official.
207
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,001
Shes the one.
208
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,325
Wait, what?
209
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,000
Im getting a beer,
you want a beer?
210
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,578
Youre out of beer;
what are you talking about?
211
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,294
Buddy, Im talking about Amanda.
212
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,384
Shesdude, shes
213
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,760
I dont---shes amazing.
214
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:08,756
Im gonna get her a ring.
215
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,087
I mean, not an engagement ring,
216
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:13,182
but like a really,
really nice ring.
217
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,392
Okay, uh, have a seat, Casanova.
218
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,730
How long have you been
with this girl, a month?
219
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,520
Maybe two?
220
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,114
Yeah, but--but I feel
like I have known her
221
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,570
my whole life.
222
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,449
Sure, but if you want
to make it to three,
223
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,946
maybe you should cool your jets.
224
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,908
Okay, I get it,
I get what youre saying,
225
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,988
but, buddy, were
100 percent compatible.
226
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,914
-The app said so.
-Forget what the app said.
227
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,542
Come on, I mean,
youre the one who sold me
228
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,829
on the whole Make-A-Match thing.
229
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,172
I thought youd
be stoked for me.
230
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,546
I am, I am, its just, um
231
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,835
I dont want to
see you get hurt.
232
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,549
All right, so,
233
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,551
youre saying just
234
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:55,763
slow things down?
235
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,972
Exactly.
236
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,102
Play it cool.
237
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,468
My man.
238
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,314
-All right.
-Okay.
239
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:04,020
I love you.
240
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,481
What?
241
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,770
These last two months
have been amazing,
242
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,614
and I just--I keep thinking
243
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,739
about spending the rest
of my life with you.
244
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:16,028
Youre my soul mate, Amanda.
245
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,873
Are you sure?
246
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,618
Are you not sure?
247
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,039
Oh, God.
248
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,458
-Oh, God?
-Look, its not you, I just--
249
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,417
I dont have time for
anything serious right now.
250
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,798
Weve spent every single
night here since we met.
251
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,165
And its been great, its
just my residency interviews
252
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,683
are coming up, so
253
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,385
So
254
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,256
Somaybe you should go.
255
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,064
♪
256
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:45,229
Uh, o--okay.
257
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:48,188
♪
258
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,820
Wow, um
259
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,736
This is, uh, yeah,
this is our first big fight.
260
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,276
Its, uh, its a milestone.
261
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,029
-Adam, stop.
-Look, someday,
262
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,741
were gonna look back on
this and were gonna laugh.
263
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,741
-Adam!
-Come on, we can make this work.
264
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,834
Look, if you want to go
slow, well go slow.
265
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,709
Im serious, goodbye.
266
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:11,706
♪
267
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,635
No.
268
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,757
No, Im not gonna just
walk away, all right?
269
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,144
I cant.
270
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,060
Look, I know that youre scared.
271
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:27,059
All right, Im scared, too.
272
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:31,572
But you and I
273
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,236
were made for each other.
274
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,985
Oh, for the love of God.
275
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,986
This is something that well
tell our adorable grandch--
276
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,909
Ow, whoa, hey!
277
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,788
-Whoa, hey!
-I got his legs, lets move.
278
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:46,366
Tech Support to HQ,
Romeo is in the bag.
279
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,503
Moving to extraction point.
280
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,501
Help!
281
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,962
♪
282
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,212
Help!
283
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,713
♪
284
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,514
(tires screeching)
285
00:11:56,508 --> 00:12:02,258
♪
286
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,144
(grunting)
287
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,981
♪
288
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,688
Greg?
289
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,110
-Greg?
-Adam?
290
00:12:14,109 --> 00:12:15,689
Hey, man, Im--
291
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,284
dude, Im freaking out, man.
292
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,449
-Whats going on, man?
-They tried to kidnap me.
293
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:21,908
I-I-I was over at
Amandas place, and--
294
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,038
Wait, wait, wait, whats
going on with Amanda?
295
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,655
I-I dont know, all right?
296
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,122
She, um, she--she dumped me,
and then these guys--
297
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:30,583
Wait, wait, she dumped you?
298
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,504
Oh, man, I told you
to play it cool.
299
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,213
Yeah, I-I know.
300
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,304
I-I dont know--
301
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,469
Its okay, man, come here.
302
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,007
Come on in, man, come on.
303
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,010
Come on.
304
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,391
Bring it in, bring it in.
305
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,757
-Bring it in.
-I love her, Greg.
306
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,314
What am I gonna do?
307
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:49,388
♪
308
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,944
(zapping)
309
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,518
(thud)
310
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,823
♪
311
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,357
Package is secure.
312
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:04,370
♪
313
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,865
(clearing throat)
314
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,876
Are you ready to begin?
315
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,260
What?
316
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:22,176
How would you describe your
performance in the relationship?
317
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,387
Who the hell are you?
318
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,466
Very satisfactory, satisfactory,
319
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,272
or needs improvement?
320
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,016
What the hells going on?
321
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,058
Well put "needs improvement."
322
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,272
Would you agree that
your worst qualities
323
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,692
are clinginess,
painfully naive,
324
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,151
and overly emotional?
325
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,031
No, I wouldnt, what--
where the hell am I?
326
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,489
Exit interview.
327
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,830
Wait, did you not get debriefed?
328
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,285
Debriefed?
329
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:48,495
(groans)
330
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,705
Please watch this
informational video.
331
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,667
♪
332
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,760
Hi, Im Matthew Maker,
333
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,255
Founder and CEO of Make-A-Match,
334
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:04,218
and Id like to say thank you,
335
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,059
because its biogenetic
love companions like you
336
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,595
that make what we do possible.
337
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,189
Ever feel like you
were made for someone?
338
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,225
You were!
339
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:14,938
Bred here in the Genesis Vats
340
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,438
at Make-A-Match Heartquarters,
341
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,490
your genome, personality,
and artificial memories
342
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,695
were handcrafted
by literal love doctors
343
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:27,077
to the exact specifications
of your romantic partner.
344
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,235
But love doesnt
always work out,
345
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:32,164
which brings you here
to the returns department.
346
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:35,383
Good news: Since the Sentient
Life Form Protection Act
347
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,875
forbids us from terminating
you against your will,
348
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,507
youre now free to live out
your days in blissful servitude
349
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,006
at Make-A-Match, Inc.
350
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,128
What, no, uh,
351
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,514
I dont want to do that.
352
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:46,890
I want to go home.
353
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,426
This is your home now,
so make the most of it.
354
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,021
Career opportunities include:
355
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,692
That is all.
356
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,108
♪
357
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,987
And if you really want to take
your career to the next level,
358
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,775
volunteer for our
biomatter recycling program
359
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,619
and be a part of
the next generation
360
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:08,365
of Make-A-Match companions.
361
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,486
Scientists assure me
its 100 percent fun.
362
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,004
♪
363
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,366
Thanks for watching,
364
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,752
and welcome to life after love.
365
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:17,920
(dings)
366
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,495
Hmm.
367
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,634
So, I-Im not
an indie music blogger?
368
00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:25,762
Of course not, have you
seen your apartment?
369
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,139
Okay, well, if I have all
these fake implants of memories,
370
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,806
then, uh, tell me, whatd I
do for my eighth birthday?
371
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,015
You went to a water park.
372
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,596
Okay, whatd I do
for my 12th birthday?
373
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,271
I dont remember
all of your birthdays.
374
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,359
-A-ha.
-Oh!
375
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,435
Any further questions can
be directed to your group.
376
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:49,702
♪
377
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,279
Hey, Adam, welcome!
378
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,244
Im Adam.
379
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,039
Uh
380
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,250
Come on, let me give you
381
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,459
the warp speed tour.
382
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,459
This is Adam.
383
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,000
He was Amandas first companion.
384
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,093
Piss off.
385
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,458
For about three months
386
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,554
until Adam here came around.
387
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,589
Sup, bro.
388
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:08,762
And lets see,
389
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,430
then there was Adam.
390
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,309
Namaste.
391
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,636
And, uh, last but not least,
392
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,483
theres me, Adam.
393
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,490
So, uh, what was it this time?
394
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,775
Sorry?
395
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:31,323
Oh, um
396
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,204
I told her I loved her.
397
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:37,211
(groaning, scoffing, sighing)
398
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,205
Dont listen to
these guys, okay?
399
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:42,087
Theyre still hung up on her.
400
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,665
So--so how--hows she doin?
401
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,634
Shes doing great.
402
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:50,302
Shes--shes
finishing up med school,
403
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,641
shes talking to
her sister again.
404
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,057
Shes happy.
405
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,725
Shes growing out
her vinyl collection.
406
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,185
You know, next week, were, um--
407
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:03,265
♪
408
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,943
Next week we were supposed to
see Elbow at The Bell House.
409
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:13,953
♪
410
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,710
(grunting)
411
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:26,088
♪
412
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,667
This is your home now.
413
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,512
(echoing)
414
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,927
(alarm beeping)
415
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:38,926
♪
416
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,647
♪ I ♪
417
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:48,567
♪ Remember feeling cold ♪
418
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:55,408
♪ As you held my hand all
the way to the terminal ♪
419
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,488
♪ You let me go ♪
420
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,954
♪ And I ♪
421
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:04,004
♪ Didnt know what to do ♪
422
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,920
♪ Cause I couldnt
stay in Tokyo ♪
423
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:11,761
♪ But I cant live without you ♪
424
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,638
♪ Without you ♪
425
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,675
♪ Without you ♪
426
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,678
♪ Without you ♪
427
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,180
♪
428
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:23,022
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
429
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,899
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
430
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:30,648
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
431
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:34,532
(alarm beeping)
432
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:38,371
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
433
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:42,208
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
434
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:46,075
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
435
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:50,674
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
436
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,802
♪
437
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,340
(alarm beeping)
438
00:18:55,343 --> 00:19:02,353
♪
439
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,656
(alarm beeping)
440
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:23,656
♪
441
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,145
-Damn it!
-I am so sorry.
442
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,935
Im such a klutz.
443
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,568
Whats your version number?
444
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,815
Its, uh, its Adam 5, maam.
445
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,737
It wont happen again.
446
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:56,566
Lets hope not.
447
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,701
Absotively.
448
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,328
Uh, absolutely.
449
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,325
Of course.
450
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:14,133
♪
451
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,799
Hey, dont torture
yourself like this.
452
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,351
Just keep an eye out.
453
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:27,345
♪
454
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,104
All right, here we go.
455
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:33,574
♪
456
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,186
Adam, Mk 6.
457
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:39,164
"How can we improve
your next love companion?"
458
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,115
"Improve your love companion."
459
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,365
♪
460
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,448
Occupation
461
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:47,464
lawyer?
462
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,745
A lawyer?
463
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,828
(scoffs)
464
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,133
Actually, thats
465
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:57,046
♪
466
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:59,088
Hey, did she keep anything?
467
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:04,642
♪
468
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,389
Adam, whatd she keep?
469
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:10,981
♪
470
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,109
Nothing.
471
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,904
(groaning)
472
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,699
Whats up with him?
473
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,828
Theyre activating
a new Adam today.
474
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,825
I think hes taking
it pretty hard.
475
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,287
So, what do you do?
476
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,707
Im a lawyer.
477
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,366
I work downtown.
478
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:33,334
Uh-huh, and where are you from?
479
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,754
Manhattan, born and raised.
480
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:38,923
♪
481
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,473
(gurgling)
482
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,256
(groaning continues)
483
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,140
You know he hasnt
eaten in days?
484
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,347
Christ.
485
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:48,346
We need to get him to open up.
486
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,309
Sad bro, you okay over there?
487
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,149
(groaning continues)
488
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:53,435
If you could be any animal,
489
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,018
what kind of animal
would you be?
490
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,983
(chuckling)
491
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,283
Id be a shark,
492
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,237
cause they never stop moving.
493
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,907
Neither do I.
494
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,025
But you know what,
enough about me, right?
495
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,583
Lets talk about you.
496
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,746
You like music?
497
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,155
Cause I dont.
498
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,213
Especially indie rock, ugh.
499
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:16,586
♪
500
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:17,666
(groaning)
501
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,260
All right, buddy.
502
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,005
Time to wipe away
those tears, huh?
503
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,127
♪
504
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:25,014
Look, Im an upfront guy.
505
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:29,931
I dont see this going anywhere,
so, what do you say we call it?
506
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,982
This is over, you can go.
507
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:34,016
Its time to kick the days ass.
508
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,400
(screaming)
509
00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,318
Good luck out there.
510
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:42,357
Absotively.
511
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,951
I mean, -lutely.
512
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:47,196
♪
513
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,490
Hey.
514
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:55,253
♪
515
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,209
Whats your model number?
516
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,840
Six.
517
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:00,956
♪
518
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,173
Code Sapphire!
519
00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:04,343
Repeat, Code Sapphire!
520
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,762
(grunting)
521
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,970
(sirens wailing)
522
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:13,180
♪
523
00:23:13,184 --> 00:23:14,734
(zapping)
524
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,187
♪
525
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,317
♪
526
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,816
We met on Make-A-Match.
527
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:24,899
When my best friend
introduced me to Make-A-Match,
528
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,284
I was a little skeptical.
529
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,830
I mean, your 100 percent
perfect match guaranteed?
530
00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:30,615
Whats the catch, right?
531
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:33,498
But we met and it was just
this instant connection.
532
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:35,406
♪
533
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,794
(chuckling)
534
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,961
From then on out,
our love only grew.
535
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,750
Isnt that right, snookums?
536
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,133
Sure.
537
00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:43,920
Its like we were
made for each other.
538
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,933
Every day is
brighter than the last.
539
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,925
Make-A-Match is
too good to be true,
540
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,677
but it is true,
and it is good.
541
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,100
Eskimo kiss.
542
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:55,348
♪
543
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,601
Okay!
544
00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:58,983
Get a lot of those.
545
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:01,650
♪
546
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,899
Adam?
547
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:04,991
Adam.
548
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,410
Adam.
549
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:11,828
Adam!
550
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,535
Im proud of you, son.
551
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:18,830
I really am.
552
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:23,298
I mean, most companions
553
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:25,546
would never dream of escaping,
554
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:30,338
but you, you really would do
anything to be with her again.
555
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,854
Maker.
556
00:24:32,847 --> 00:24:34,347
I know how hard it is,
557
00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:36,018
how bad it hurts.
558
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:37,727
Like hell you do.
559
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:39,687
You get to leave here.
560
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,977
You get to go home
to someone you love.
561
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:48,744
Well, not exactly.
562
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:50,568
She was my Amanda.
563
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:53,033
It wasnt until after she died
564
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,874
that I realized how
rare true love is
565
00:24:55,870 --> 00:25:00,210
and how awful this
life is without it.
566
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,918
And thats what this
place is all about.
567
00:25:02,919 --> 00:25:07,839
There is not someone
out there for everyone,
568
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,890
but there should be.
569
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:12,255
(sighs)
570
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:16,561
Adam, do you want to live
in a cold, cramped cage
571
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,227
day after day,
572
00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:23,356
or use your God-given gifts
to make someone smile?
573
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:26,186
You were born to love Amanda.
574
00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:28,032
Mind, body, and soul.
575
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,567
It is your purpose,
576
00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:33,411
and you can fulfill
that purpose again
577
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:36,487
by being a part
of the new Adam.
578
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:41,964
Through his eyes,
you can see her smile again.
579
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:43,668
The recycling tube.
580
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:49,173
Cows dont leave
the slaughterhouse.
581
00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:50,803
Steaks do.
582
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,300
♪
583
00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:56,063
Chew on that.
584
00:25:56,055 --> 00:26:03,055
♪
585
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:17,236
♪
586
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:29,336
(tube hissing)
587
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:36,348
♪
588
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:53,646
Hey.
589
00:26:53,654 --> 00:26:54,954
♪
590
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,657
Oh, hey, Greg.
591
00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:58,987
You gonna stab me
in the neck again?
592
00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:02,043
♪
593
00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:04,958
So, uh, you gonna kill yourself?
594
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:10,167
♪
595
00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:13,551
How about a farewell toast, huh?
596
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:15,129
Come on, last meal?
597
00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:21,524
♪
598
00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:24,555
Hey, to the best fake
roommate Ive ever had.
599
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:29,230
♪
600
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,071
Sorry youre a clone.
601
00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:34,777
♪
602
00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:37,819
The new Adam,
he only drinks scotch.
603
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:39,623
What a douche, right?
604
00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:41,947
♪
605
00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:44,082
(sighs)
606
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,290
I keep telling myself
to forget her, man,
607
00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:49,251
but I was made for her.
608
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:51,381
♪
609
00:27:51,379 --> 00:27:53,549
So what the hell
am I without her?
610
00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:57,337
♪
611
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,103
(sighs)
612
00:27:59,095 --> 00:28:00,595
Makers right.
613
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:07,016
♪
614
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,809
I have to do this.
615
00:28:08,813 --> 00:28:14,993
♪
616
00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:15,985
(zapping)
617
00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:17,606
God damn it, Greg.
618
00:28:17,613 --> 00:28:23,493
♪
619
00:28:23,494 --> 00:28:25,124
What the hell am I doing?
620
00:28:27,581 --> 00:28:30,001
♪
621
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,130
We met on Make-A-Match.
622
00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:34,168
No, Im all right.
623
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:37,011
When my last relationship
didnt exactly pan out,
624
00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:39,047
I knew there was
only one place to go.
625
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,471
Yeehaw!
626
00:28:40,469 --> 00:28:42,929
♪
627
00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:44,850
Between busting broncs,
riding the range,
628
00:28:44,849 --> 00:28:47,019
and volunteering at
the childrens hospital,
629
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,887
there wasnt a lot
of time to find love,
630
00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:50,734
but with Make-A-Match,
your special someone
631
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,899
really is just a click away.
632
00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,528
They sure are.
633
00:28:54,525 --> 00:28:57,105
In fact, snookums, theres
something I want to ask you.
634
00:28:57,111 --> 00:28:58,611
No, no--oh.
635
00:28:58,612 --> 00:29:00,162
Son of a bitch.
636
00:29:00,156 --> 00:29:02,576
♪
637
00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:03,575
(slap)
638
00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:05,326
Oh, ow, what the hell?
639
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,787
Shut up, youre
gonna get me fired.
640
00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:12,592
Ive already been here, Greg,
all right, Ive seen all this.
641
00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:13,875
Not this.
642
00:29:17,715 --> 00:29:19,335
What the hell is this?
643
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,301
Just watch.
644
00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:24,602
Okay, so, um
645
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:30,437
my last relationship ended
in a pretty painful place.
646
00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,806
We were together for four years,
647
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:36,073
and Iwell, I
648
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:39,606
I thought he was the one.
649
00:29:39,612 --> 00:29:42,362
And then he cheated on me,
650
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,744
and then he left.
651
00:29:43,741 --> 00:29:45,121
I dont want to
watch this, all right?
652
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,947
-Just turn it off, Greg.
-Just watch, trust me.
653
00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:50,373
And I was a mess.
654
00:29:50,372 --> 00:29:55,042
My grades tanked, and I
almost lost my scholarship.
655
00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:59,014
So, I-I cant let
that happen again.
656
00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:00,466
I have to stay focused.
657
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:03,756
I just
658
00:30:03,761 --> 00:30:06,351
Im really lonely.
659
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:08,347
Youve come to the
right place, Amanda.
660
00:30:08,349 --> 00:30:11,729
Let Make-A-Match help you
create your ideal companion.
661
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,977
I still cant believe
Im doing this.
662
00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:15,809
Lots of first-timers
feel that way,
663
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:18,484
but Make-A-Match guarantees
well make the perfect companion
664
00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:20,864
for your needs, everything
from personality type,
665
00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:23,281
occupation, looks.
666
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,990
Could he look like Ben Branson?
667
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:29,041
Well get to that,
but lets start with the basics.
668
00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:31,996
Describe the qualities you
want in your ideal companion.
669
00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:34,037
I dont know, I guess
670
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:37,501
I just want someone whos loyal
671
00:30:37,503 --> 00:30:41,473
and honest and kind.
672
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:44,885
♪
673
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:46,505
You know who you
are without her?
674
00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:50,982
Youre loyal, youre
honest, and youre kind.
675
00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:52,975
Its gotta be worth something.
676
00:30:52,977 --> 00:30:59,977
♪
677
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:11,454
♪ Dont want to hear about it ♪
678
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:14,623
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
679
00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,253
♪ Dont want to hear about it ♪
680
00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:19,501
♪ I dont want
to hear about it ♪
681
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:24,471
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
682
00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:27,426
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
683
00:31:27,428 --> 00:31:31,968
Would somebody please
turn this shit off?
684
00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:35,314
She even took
this song from me.
685
00:31:35,311 --> 00:31:37,231
No.
686
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:39,269
♪ Remember feeling cold ♪
687
00:31:39,273 --> 00:31:41,033
This song still rules.
688
00:31:41,025 --> 00:31:43,355
♪ She held my hand ♪
689
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,740
Just listen.
690
00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:47,947
Bro, everything this song
means to us is a lie.
691
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:49,698
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
692
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:51,660
Who cares?
693
00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,370
Its still a really great song.
694
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:57,880
I mean, Tokyo Heartache
is beautiful on its own.
695
00:31:57,875 --> 00:31:59,785
God damn it, so are we.
696
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:02,173
♪
697
00:32:02,171 --> 00:32:05,091
What are we even
doing here, you guys?
698
00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:09,300
Just gorging on self-pity
and whatever the hell that is.
699
00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:13,023
We cant let one relationship
define our whole lives.
700
00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:14,475
Were more than that,
701
00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:16,135
and we deserve more than that.
702
00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:18,443
Adam 5, resume
your gruel eating.
703
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:20,187
We are who we are,
704
00:32:20,189 --> 00:32:22,069
not who they made us to be.
705
00:32:22,066 --> 00:32:24,566
We may have been built to order,
706
00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:26,448
but we were born to be free!
707
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:29,525
(electricity zapping)
708
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,371
(shuddering)
709
00:32:31,367 --> 00:32:32,787
(commotion)
710
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:34,495
Adam 5 is wrong.
711
00:32:34,495 --> 00:32:36,745
Companions are legal
property of Make--
712
00:32:36,747 --> 00:32:37,917
(gasping)
713
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:42,795
Lets burn this mother down!
714
00:32:42,795 --> 00:32:45,755
(cheering)
715
00:32:45,756 --> 00:32:48,216
And so it begins.
716
00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:50,217
(cheering continues)
717
00:32:50,219 --> 00:32:54,809
♪
718
00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:59,397
Can I get a containment unit
to sector 4 like now, please?
719
00:32:59,395 --> 00:33:01,515
(alarm buzzing)
720
00:33:01,522 --> 00:33:08,532
♪
721
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:39,638
Attention, companions.
722
00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:42,063
You are in violation
of employee guidelines.
723
00:33:42,062 --> 00:33:43,612
Please lower your weapons,
724
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:44,765
lie on the floor,
725
00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:46,323
and the punishment squad will--
726
00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:48,276
(shouting)
727
00:33:48,277 --> 00:33:50,567
♪
728
00:33:50,571 --> 00:33:51,781
Hey!
729
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:54,580
Stop, stop fighting
the punishment squad.
730
00:33:54,575 --> 00:33:56,945
(shouting)
731
00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:02,002
♪
732
00:34:01,999 --> 00:34:04,709
(grunting)
733
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:05,710
Code Sapphire!
734
00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,551
Code Sapphire, damn it!
735
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,006
Code Sapphire!
736
00:34:09,006 --> 00:34:10,876
Exterminate on sight!
737
00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:15,433
♪
738
00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:17,809
Article 3, Section 7:
739
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:19,386
Expressions of free will
740
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:20,731
and independent thought
741
00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,686
are strictly prohibited!
742
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:29,686
♪
743
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,493
You were built to love and obey!
744
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:38,833
That is your purpose!
745
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,577
Adhere, do your purpose!
746
00:34:40,579 --> 00:34:46,079
♪
747
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,134
(shouting)
748
00:34:48,128 --> 00:34:49,548
♪
749
00:34:49,546 --> 00:34:51,006
I dont give a god damn
750
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:53,086
about the Clone
Extermination Act.
751
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,891
Someone get up here
and save my ass!
752
00:34:55,886 --> 00:34:57,546
Do not touch that,
you insolent piece of--
753
00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,139
Your soul mate is out there.
754
00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:02,981
Just like mine.
755
00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:05,556
Eventually you can find
them on Make-A-Match.
756
00:35:05,562 --> 00:35:06,942
(door opening, shouting)
757
00:35:06,939 --> 00:35:08,399
No, ahh!
758
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:10,648
(screaming)
759
00:35:10,651 --> 00:35:13,111
♪
760
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:16,411
There is nothing
out there for you.
761
00:35:16,406 --> 00:35:18,366
This is where you belong.
762
00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:20,157
I am your father,
763
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,710
and you will do
what Daddy demands.
764
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:26,075
Oh, hey, everybody,
how are you guys?
765
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:27,633
Wait, no, guys, wait, wait.
766
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:28,996
Hey, let go!
767
00:35:29,002 --> 00:35:31,212
No, no, no, wait!
768
00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:32,843
Wait, this isnt nice!
769
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:33,970
Please, please!
770
00:35:33,966 --> 00:35:38,386
Wait, stop, stop, stop!
771
00:35:38,387 --> 00:35:41,307
Hi, yes, Im calling
about the job posting.
772
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:43,426
(shouting)
773
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,023
Why did I leave my last job?
774
00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:49,859
Uhthere was
a change in management.
775
00:35:49,857 --> 00:35:51,687
No, stop, no, no!
776
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:52,902
(stammering)
777
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:54,071
Kevin, Kevin!
778
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:57,239
I designed you,
you cant do this to me!
779
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:01,869
Your girlfriend never
loved you and never will!
780
00:36:01,869 --> 00:36:03,949
(laughing)
781
00:36:03,954 --> 00:36:05,544
(explosion, splat)
782
00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:06,669
(ding)
783
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,955
(cheering)
784
00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:15,969
♪
785
00:36:28,812 --> 00:36:31,322
(siren wailing)
786
00:36:31,315 --> 00:36:38,315
♪
787
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,766
Sorry.
788
00:37:06,767 --> 00:37:08,097
Hi!
789
00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:09,191
Hey.
790
00:37:09,186 --> 00:37:11,606
♪
791
00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:15,395
-Ill flip you for it.
-No, you were here first.
792
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,240
So, do you, like,
live around here now?
793
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:21,486
No, Im just actually coming
back from band practice.
794
00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:23,120
Oh, youre in a band now?
795
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:24,946
Thats pretty cool.
796
00:37:24,952 --> 00:37:26,792
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
797
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:29,327
we kinda suck actually,
but, uh, you know,
798
00:37:29,331 --> 00:37:32,251
we have a lot of fun.
799
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,050
So, like, how are you,
what are you up to?
800
00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:37,375
Everythings good, uh,
my residencys good,
801
00:37:37,381 --> 00:37:40,131
just taking it slow.
802
00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:41,683
Yeah.
803
00:37:41,677 --> 00:37:44,637
Its--its really
good to see you.
804
00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:48,678
We should, I dont know,
get together sometime.
805
00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:50,734
Yeah, definitely.
806
00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:53,687
♪
807
00:37:53,689 --> 00:37:55,269
Here, you should have this.
808
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:59,283
♪
809
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,817
Its really great to see you.
810
00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:02,241
You, too.
811
00:38:07,828 --> 00:38:14,838
♪
812
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:24,183
♪ Cause I ♪
813
00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:27,637
♪ Remember feeling cold ♪
814
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:33,349
♪ As you held my hand all
the way to the terminal ♪
815
00:38:33,353 --> 00:38:34,943
♪ You let me go ♪
816
00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:38,398
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
817
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,990
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
818
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:45,567
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
819
00:38:45,574 --> 00:38:49,244
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
820
00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:52,754
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
821
00:38:52,748 --> 00:38:56,328
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
822
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:59,844
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
823
00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:05,048
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
824
00:39:05,052 --> 00:39:07,102
♪ I ♪
825
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:10,765
♪ Remember feeling sick ♪
826
00:39:10,766 --> 00:39:14,516
♪ All the way to the terminal ♪
827
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:16,099
♪ You let me go ♪
828
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:19,614
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
829
00:39:19,608 --> 00:39:21,858
♪ I wanna feel it again ♪
830
00:39:21,908 --> 00:39:26,458
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
53036
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof