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1
00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:06,702
♪
2
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:10,010
Face it, Franny,
you've got a brown thumb...
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,403
and not the sexy kind.
4
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,840
I can't even raise a tomato.
5
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,452
What if I wanted
to raise children someday?
6
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:18,714
MAN: Having trouble
growing a garden?
7
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,281
Try a single plant.
8
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:21,630
Wait, who said that?
9
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,198
I did. Paul Rudd.
10
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:26,200
On behalf of
Ye Ol' Farmers' Almanac.
11
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,289
Oh, my Instagram was open.
12
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,030
If you're like me,
you've tried
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,075
all the fad gardening kits
to no avail.
14
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,208
Now try the one that works,
15
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,253
the Ye Ol' Farmers' Almanac--
16
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,908
a dense book filled
with vague instructions
17
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:41,215
based off the position
of the moon.
18
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,434
And you know it works
because it's me telling you.
19
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,262
Paul Rudd.
20
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,264
And I'm not a liar,
I'm an actor.
21
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,223
Watch, now I'll act sad.
22
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:54,663
♪
23
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,318
♪ Hard times are real
24
00:00:57,318 --> 00:01:01,322
♪ There's dusty fields
no matter where you go ♪
25
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:04,020
♪
26
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:06,805
♪ You may change your mind
27
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:10,983
♪ 'Cause the weeds are high
where corn don't grow ♪
28
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:14,074
[thunder booms]
29
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,598
♪ You may change your mind
30
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:20,123
♪ 'Cause the weeds are high
where corn don't grow ♪
31
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:24,780
♪
32
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,435
I have mastered nature!
33
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,741
I am stronger than God!
34
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:33,789
♪
35
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:36,357
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
36
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:40,143
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
37
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:43,277
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
38
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:47,237
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
39
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:52,895
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
40
00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:55,158
- ♪ Good--
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
41
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,028
Aah!
42
00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,946
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
43
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:03,471
♪
44
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,212
You see Bev-D's
latest post?
45
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:07,562
Another out-of-focus photo
of scallops?
46
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:10,173
[chuckles]
Man, that woman loves scallops.
47
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,871
And I love that she's still
sticking with that hairstyle.
48
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,482
I mean it's basically
the Rachel!
49
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,092
[both laughing]
50
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,224
Who are you guys
talking about?
51
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,877
Bev DiVincenzo.
52
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,531
Best social media
follow in the game.
53
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,359
What makes her so great?
54
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,883
She's a normal, sad person,
but she posts
55
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,668
constantly
with the confidence of someone
56
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,800
that has
an actually interesting life.
57
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,716
Her life is so mundane
and yet so specific...
58
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:32,978
it draws you in.
59
00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,719
She lives in Altoona, PA.
60
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,939
She works out
at a non-judgmental gym.
61
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,332
She loves
her Jeep Wrangler.
62
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,116
She has a boyfriend
named Irv.
63
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:42,553
Every Cinco de Mayo, she posts
a photo of her famous wet,
64
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:44,555
watery homemade salsa.
65
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,992
And her favorite nights are when
she's alone on her back patio
66
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,690
with a cold bottle
of Diet Coke
67
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,040
and the Pittsburgh Pirates
playing on her iPad.
68
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,825
Oh! She just started using
the term YOLO.
69
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,480
It's her new "sister
from another mister."
70
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,742
If you guys love her
so much,
71
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,353
why don't you go see her
in real life?
72
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,355
Altoona is only
three hours away.
73
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,009
Hmm.
Premium content.
74
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,229
I wouldn't be missed at work.
Bullock's using again.
75
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,100
She would be
easy to find.
76
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,233
Are you two really thinking
of driving three hours
77
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,975
to stalk a total stranger
from Facebook?!
78
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:14,759
That settles it.
We're doing it.
79
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:15,891
Come on, Hayley!
80
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:16,848
Yes!
81
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,634
They both have diarrhea?
82
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:20,852
Check it out--
83
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,506
the first veggie
from my garden!
84
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,681
Nice, Mom!
85
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,118
Jesus, man. Calm down.
86
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,382
I'm going to make
restaurant-quality food
87
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,732
with them--
like they do at restaurants.
88
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:34,605
I know a great recipe for truly
authentic Louisiana jambalaya
89
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,825
I learned from
a blind bayou man.
90
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,697
It was back in the 80's
during Mardi Gras...
91
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,657
I'd been drinking for 9
or 10 hours with no luck
92
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:44,920
when a girl flashed
"F-me" eyes
93
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,052
right as she walked out
the back door.
94
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,664
♪
95
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,927
I followed her down the alley
and then for miles...
96
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:54,669
all the way out to the bayou.
97
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,671
It was only there
I realized...
98
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,586
she was a raccoon.
99
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,675
[raccoon growling]
100
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:04,026
A male raccoon, and he had
led me into a trap.
101
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,984
I was a goner.
102
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:09,640
But then out of nowhere
a blind bayou man saved me!
103
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,077
He took me back to his shack
and prepared me
104
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,036
life-nourishing jambalaya,
105
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,081
teaching me the recipe
along the way.
106
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:19,084
Hold up, you were trying
to bone a raccoon?
107
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,303
Is-- Is that
what you're saying?
108
00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:21,652
Steve,
you're totally missing
109
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,785
one of the two points
of my story.
110
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,396
I know how to make
truly authentic jambalaya
111
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,746
as taught to me
by a blind bayou man!
112
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:29,921
Count me out!
113
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,532
I'm on a deadline.
114
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,577
I didn't know you had
a new project, Klaus.
115
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:37,364
Yeah, I'm writing a new
blockbuster movie for John Cena,
116
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,409
but I only have
four days to do it.
117
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,976
That's when he has
a book signing
118
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,760
at the Langley Book Hole.
119
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,632
I'm going to present him
with the script
120
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,373
and convince him
to be in it.
121
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,070
I love John Cena!
122
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,550
I didn't know
he was an author.
123
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,856
Oh, yeah, great author.
124
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:53,945
I'm actually
slowly working my way
125
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:57,340
through his new one right now
because I don't want it to end!
126
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,169
Well, [bleep] jambalaya.
Can I help with your script?
127
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,953
Are you serious?!
128
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,433
I was a huge fan of the porno
129
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,435
you and Roger wrote
back in Season 4.
130
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,871
All right!
131
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,786
You're getting in
at the right time too,
132
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,180
I'm at
the top of page one.
133
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:15,010
Well, I'm glad you're excited
to cook my veggies, Roger!
134
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,360
Only problem is I'm having
a little trouble
135
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,970
remembering that recipe.
136
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:21,364
Well, I was originally
thinking of cooking--
137
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:22,974
I know
how I can remember!
138
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,237
You know how in college
if you go to class drunk
139
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,370
and then take the final drunk
you remember everything
140
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,241
- and ace it?
- No.
141
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,201
I just have to get back to that
exact same drunk headspace
142
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,638
I was in in that bayou
in '86.
143
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:37,162
Honestly, Roger,
if-- if you can't remember--
144
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,208
No, no, I can get there.
145
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,644
[Bottles shatter,
blender whirs]
146
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,776
[gulps]
147
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,257
Do you remember the recipe?!
148
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,650
- [urine splattering]
- Roger, you're pissing
149
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,695
in my colander.
150
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,918
I can't believe we're in
the same town as Bev DiVincenzo!
151
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,572
There's
Suzie's Meal Box!
152
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,183
The best chicken Caesar salad
in the world!
153
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,924
There's her
non-judgmental gym!
154
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,448
Oh, my God, it's Bev!
It's Bev!
155
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:08,455
♪
156
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,934
[crashing]
157
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,893
[hissing]
158
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,722
FRANCINE: Roger!
159
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,941
[birds chirping]
160
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:19,422
Roger!
You destroyed my garden!
161
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,685
[vomits]
162
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,949
[gasps]
I remember the jambalaya recipe!
163
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:30,607
In walks the lead,
Brevin Docent...
164
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:33,088
Whoa! Sick name!
165
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:36,526
We gotta give him
a deep character.
166
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:40,922
Women want to sleep with him
and guys wanna sleep with him.
167
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,532
Yes.
168
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:45,883
His ass looks hard
but also soft.
169
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:50,018
His eyes are two rhinestones
in a bowl of heavy cream.
170
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,020
He's a guy you want
to have a beer with,
171
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,935
but when
he's having a beer...
172
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,328
he's doing nuclear physics
in a notebook.
173
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,069
Yes!
174
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,332
He fosters sick cats
and makes girls climax
175
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,334
like 18 times a night!
176
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,119
Klaus!
177
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:07,078
This is really good.
178
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,256
Oh, my God,
Francine there you are!
179
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,823
I figured it all out--
180
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:15,043
how we can raise funds
to fix your garden.
181
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,219
I wasn't really worried
about the money part.
182
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:19,482
The answer was right
in front of us the whole time!
183
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,441
Jambalaya!
184
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,355
We'll use a portion of the
profits from the restaurant
185
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,400
to fix your garden!
186
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,967
What restaurant?!
187
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,273
The jambalaya restaurant!
188
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,798
That's what all the veggies
and seafood are for, silly!
189
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,757
- I don't wanna--
- Holy crap!
190
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,411
Look what was
in the shrimp!
191
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,282
It's a frozen alligator!
192
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,677
I wonder if it was frozen alive
like Encino Man?
193
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,767
What if this is an Encino Man
situation, Francine?
194
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:44,986
We better defrost it.
195
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,119
[doorbell dings]
196
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,470
I think that's the new front
of the restaurant!
197
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,254
New what of the huh?
198
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:55,170
[crane humming]
199
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,825
You order
the old bayou porch?
200
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,609
Where you want it?
201
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,526
[thud]
202
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,007
That'll work. Right?
203
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,052
Roger, that's where
my garden was!
204
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,140
She had a garden.
205
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,925
Now we have a restaurant!
206
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:15,582
Oh, my God!
He's alive!
207
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,887
I'm gonna name him
Julius!
208
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,498
Doesn't he look
like a Julius?
209
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,977
I don't know, Roger.
210
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,893
I don't know
what a Julius looks like.
211
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,939
All I can picture
is a little Roman guy
212
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,637
or a Philadelphia 76er.
213
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:33,730
Roger, I don't want you running
a restaurant out of the house!
214
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,863
You're the one who wanted
to open a restaurant.
215
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,954
No. I said I wanted to make
a "restaurant-quality" dish
216
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,869
with vegetables
from my garden.
217
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,611
Oh, my God, enough about
your dumb garden!
218
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,351
It was covered
in throw-up!
219
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,528
And anyway, it's too late
because I sent Rogu
220
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,094
to the wharf
with a bunch of flyers,
221
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,967
and his cute ass
always pulls in business.
222
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,360
So that's it?
The house is now a restaurant?!
223
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,580
Whoa! Francine!
Your tone!
224
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,321
It's upsetting Julius!
225
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,628
God, he's soft.
226
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,412
You should feel
how soft he-- Aah!
227
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,457
[chuckles]
He keeps me quick.
228
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,589
[smooches]
229
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,373
Stan's going to kill us both
230
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:11,072
if he comes back to a restaurant
in his living room!
231
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:14,075
You're always so worried
about what Stan thinks.
232
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,381
I'm starting to think
you like him.
233
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,296
Maybe even more
than the restaurant.
234
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:21,082
Much more! Because I don't like
the restaurant at all!
235
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,432
[gasps]
And there it is.
236
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,347
You were right, Julius.
237
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,523
I hate to do this, but Julius
and I have been talking
238
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,091
and we don't think you're
dedicated to the restaurant.
239
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,832
I have to fire you.
240
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:35,009
You are no longer an employee
of Julius's Bayou Bistro.
241
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,621
I was never an employee
of Julius's Bayou Bistro!
242
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,318
And that's a dumb name!
243
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,016
[gasps] Too far!
244
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,626
Just get your stuff
and go.
245
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,628
This is my stuff!
246
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:48,631
This is all my stuff!
247
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,634
[smooches]
248
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:56,639
♪
249
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,685
Where are we?
250
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:01,209
Oh, my God.
251
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,515
You guys had
quite the crash.
252
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:07,824
Lucky I was driving by. Local
hospital's a bunch of dipshits.
253
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,347
I'll get you
back on your feet.
254
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:11,088
I'm Bev DiVincenzo.
255
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,265
I'm just glad you guys
didn't die.
256
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,310
You know what they say...
257
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,703
YOLO.
258
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:24,667
♪
259
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,843
Rogu, everyone's ready
and you haven't plated
260
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,845
a single bowl
of jambalaya?!
261
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:31,282
Rogu in weeds.
262
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,502
I'm starting to think all that
restaurant experience
263
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:35,112
on your application
was a lie.
264
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:38,072
You wrote Rogu résumé.
265
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,551
You got me there.
266
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,945
Well, at least we can count
on Julius.
267
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,861
Perfect. As always.
268
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,689
Whoa! [chuckles]
269
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,430
And as soon as Rogu is ready
with the jambalaya--
270
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,040
Ready.
271
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,217
Now I just don't know
what to believe, Rogu.
272
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,958
Showtime!
273
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:59,789
♪ Jambalaya
274
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,051
♪ If you want something good
275
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,966
♪ Eat as much as you can
276
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:07,188
♪ Jambalaya
277
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,930
♪ I learned this recipe from
a little blind man ♪
278
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,628
And now it is my pleasure
to introduce
279
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,848
the beating heart
of this restaurant.
280
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,589
His name is on the front
for a reason...
281
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,374
Julius!
282
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:22,116
'Scuse me.
Sorry, did not rehearse this.
283
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,334
- [thudding, clattering]
- Whoa! [chuckles]
284
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,684
Hope someone brought
two figs in a coin-purse
285
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,033
'cause that's
what I just felt!
286
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:28,992
- [glass shattering]
- Ow, my shin! Oh, Jesus!
287
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,212
That one stopped me
dead in my tracks.
288
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,866
Ah!
289
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:35,782
Got it.
Just give me a second.
290
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,261
Okay, I'm good.
291
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,176
Julius!
292
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,656
[diners "awws"]
293
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,789
And feel how soft he is!
294
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:46,009
[Julius snapping,
diners gasping]
295
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:49,883
Yay! Three cheers for Julius
and his great restaurant!
296
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,885
- [cheering]
- Hooray for Julius!
297
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:55,279
That's the softest alligator
I've ever felt.
298
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,846
How much would you...
299
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,500
sell him for?
300
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,501
For Julius?!
301
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,720
Never, creep!
302
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,766
Everything has a price.
303
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:08,162
I would be buying him for only
good purposes, of course.
304
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,207
Hm.
305
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,122
Hey,
you're a real weirdo.
306
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,558
Outta here, buddy.
307
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,604
If you change your mind,
you can find me
308
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:19,826
at the big, scary animal-wallet
factory at the edge of town!
309
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,436
- [door slams]
- Now, who's ready
310
00:12:21,436 --> 00:12:23,394
for more jambalaya?!
311
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,962
[cheering]
312
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,312
Now who's ready
for Avatar 2?
313
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,140
[cheering]
314
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,533
I can't hear you!
315
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,623
This is James [bleep] Cameron!
316
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:38,801
Just like always, all I wanted
to do was cook my vegetables
317
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,934
and now Roger's
running a restaurant
318
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,501
out of our living room
with his new pet alligator--
319
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,155
Julius.
320
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,984
God, I'd love to see
Roger's face
321
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,421
if something ever happened
to stupid Julius.
322
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,032
[gasps] That's it!
323
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,208
I'm gonna make something
happen to stupid Julius!
324
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,253
Oh, my God,
will you shut up?!
325
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:58,342
You've been ranting
for hours!
326
00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:01,084
I'm not stopping you from
writing your dumb script,
327
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,216
be my guest!
328
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,132
Okay, Steve,
it's the climax.
329
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,742
The bad guys
still have the kid.
330
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,790
What if the hero
skydives in?
331
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,532
The bad guys, stunned by how
beautiful and cool Brevin Docent
332
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,579
played by John Cena is,
simply stand there...
333
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:20,060
and he mows them all down
with a machine gun.
334
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,975
Holy cow...
335
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,846
They just stare at him
as he shoots them?
336
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:24,934
That's stupid.
337
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,675
Get her out of here!
338
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:29,373
- Mom!
- Fine, whatever.
339
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:30,461
This room sucks!
340
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,072
Your story sucks!
341
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,857
She's a hater, Steve!
She's a hater!
342
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,728
[door slams]
343
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,470
But...
what if she's right?
344
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,343
♪
345
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:45,128
Well, sounds like you'll be
playing basketball again
346
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:45,999
in no time.
347
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,524
Hey! What are you doing
telling Bev
348
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,830
your legs
are feeling better?
349
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:51,918
They are.
Why wouldn't I?
350
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,267
Because as soon as
we're okay,
351
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,877
Bev will kick us out.
352
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,400
And we can't leave
until we witness
353
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,620
her vacuum pack
her winter clothes.
354
00:13:58,620 --> 00:13:59,839
Your legs are okay?
355
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,149
Don't ruin this for me.
356
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,847
Hey, Bev,
you wouldn't happen
357
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,327
to have any homemade
salsa, would you?
358
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,852
No, I only make that
on Cinco de Mayo.
359
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,769
But...
I guess I could make some now.
360
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,686
Also, I was thinking maybe
a little fresh air
361
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:22,992
would do us good.
362
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,733
I see you have a patio.
363
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,039
Yeah, we can
sit out there tonight.
364
00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:32,219
Oh, darn, I was hoping
to watch the Pirates game.
365
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,699
You guys didn't tell me
you were Pirates fans!
366
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,440
I have an iPad
we can watch it on.
367
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:40,444
[clapping]
368
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,446
[indistinct conversations]
369
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:45,014
♪ Jambalaya, whoa
370
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,711
♪ Look at
that hot guy-a ♪
371
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,191
Now it's time to meet
372
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,324
the beating heart
of this restaurant.
373
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,892
His name is on the front
for a reason...
374
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,110
Julius!
375
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,508
- Feel how soft he--
- [splash]
376
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,944
What the hell?
377
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,948
Jambalaya?
But where's Julius?
378
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,472
Someone knock out Rogu.
379
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,866
Almost die.
380
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,563
Julius has been stolen!
381
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:16,524
It's printing!
We should have just enough time
382
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:17,960
to get to the bookstore!
383
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,570
So did you guys
change your ending?
384
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,572
I swear to God,
Francine--
385
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:22,617
Somebody took Julius!
386
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,271
Julius is missing!
387
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,838
Yo, bro, you got soup
on our script!
388
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,624
Soup on your script?!
Julius is missing!
389
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:32,453
Now maybe you know
what it feels like
390
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,890
when someone takes something
you care about.
391
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,414
Francine, did you have
something to do
392
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,981
with Julius's
disappearance?
393
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,461
- Yes!
- [gasps]
394
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,811
I was gonna throw him
in Greg's pool,
395
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,118
but luckily a creepy guy
lurking in our bushes
396
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,555
- offered to do it for me.
- Oh, no!
397
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,774
He's connected to that
animal-wallet factory!
398
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,081
Animal-wallet factory?
399
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:55,519
Can you guys please
take this anywhere else?!
400
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,044
Where would an animal
even put their wallet?
401
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,089
I mean,
a kangaroo I understand.
402
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:03,092
♪
403
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,746
FRANCINE: Ohh.
404
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,008
Oh, no!
405
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,792
You gotta believe me, Roger.
406
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,534
I didn't know I was
putting Julius in danger.
407
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,275
Just forget it, Francine.
408
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,016
All I want right now
is to walk into that building
409
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,845
and walk out with Julius
safely intact...
410
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,978
and a brand-new wallet
made from an animal
411
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,023
I have
no emotional attachments to.
412
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,720
Like a famous show dog
or something.
413
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,591
I don't know.
Come on.
414
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,421
[shuddering]
Ohohoho.
415
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:30,815
He's so soft.
416
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:32,382
Skin him.
417
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,211
No!
418
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,344
Get them!
419
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,867
We need a plan!
420
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:39,999
I meant to bring that up
in the car.
421
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,612
♪
422
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:48,355
In that moment, Elbow Grease
realized it would take more
423
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,575
than all-wheel drive
to get over the bridge.
424
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,055
It would take love.
425
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,536
Wait, he writes
children's books?
426
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,842
Didn't you say you were slowly
working your way through one?
427
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,931
They're good books!
428
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,499
The main guy
is a determined truck!
429
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,459
Hell yeah!
That's a book, bro!
430
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,548
[chuckles]
That's a book!
431
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,463
Come on.
We have a script to sell.
432
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:13,075
And act tough.
John Cena can smell fear.
433
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,686
♪
434
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:18,080
Hey, you need to be careful.
435
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,126
Bev seemed a little unsettled
when you asked her
436
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,519
to make the macaroni salad
she made for her aunt's funeral.
437
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:26,001
I said "would make
for an aunt's funeral."
438
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,917
All right,
a little mac salad.
439
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,484
How bad
my Pirates losing?
440
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,139
Excellent, also any chance
we can get a little more
441
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,228
of this amazing, wet,
watery salsa?
442
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,230
Sure.
443
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:39,058
I need to go in and call
my boyfriend Irv, anyway.
444
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,365
[both groan]
445
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,714
Irv...
446
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,889
She's too good for Irv.
447
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,848
She should date that guy
from her office.
448
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,111
The one she gives the big donut
to every year on his birthday.
449
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,678
- Mark Matthews?
- Mark Matthews!
450
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,288
Her work husband!
451
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:54,160
She's always posting about
how it's not sexual,
452
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,900
but I think
they could get there.
453
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,860
How do you know Mark Matthews?
What's going on?
454
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,254
You guys have been saying
lots of weird stuff.
455
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:10,306
We'll always love you!
Please don't block us!
456
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,961
♪
457
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,833
So you figured out
we were making drugs.
458
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:19,228
What?! No, honestly, we were
just here for Julius!
459
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,318
So you aren't here to take down
my huge cocaine operation?
460
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:26,235
FRANCINE:
Wow, that's a ton of cocaine.
461
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,889
Well, now
you've definitely seen it,
462
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,544
so I still
have to kill you.
463
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:35,157
It's funny, I was just saying
I bet the only thing softer
464
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:38,813
than an alligator wallet
would be a human one.
465
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,815
And now
I get to find out.
466
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:43,774
♪
467
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,299
If you had just
let me cook my vegetables,
468
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:48,083
none of this
would be happening.
469
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,085
But then we never
would've met Julius.
470
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,826
Wouldn't you rather die
with Julius
471
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,958
- than have never met him?
- No!
472
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:58,311
Aah! Julius look away!
473
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:00,748
What the hell is that?
474
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,967
♪
475
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,882
[shudders] Whoa.
476
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,798
His eyes are like
two rhinestones...
477
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,758
In a bowl of heavy cream!
478
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,152
♪
479
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,196
- Aah!
- Aah!
480
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:15,458
- Ugh!
- Oh!
481
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,244
[men grunting]
482
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,203
♪
483
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,380
Whoo! Who thinks this
is stupid now, Francine?
484
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:29,080
How'd you get John Cena
to save us?
485
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,213
He saw the jambalaya stain
on our script
486
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,693
and asked how it happened!
487
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,608
Oh, when Stu
and Klaude told me
488
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:37,045
you had a missing alligator,
I had to help.
489
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:39,265
See,
I once had a pet alligator.
490
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:42,659
Well, actually...
he was more of a best friend.
491
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,009
But I lost him while scouting
a shrimp factory
492
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,968
for a new Elbow Grease book.
493
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:48,404
Wait...
494
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,797
Julius?!
495
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,842
[Julius squawks]
496
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:54,802
[laughs]
It really is you!
497
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:57,848
Wait a second.
He was your alligator?!
498
00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,242
And we both named him Julius?
499
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:04,464
[laughs] I guess he does
just look like a Julius.
500
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:07,336
God, I miss Julius!
501
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:11,079
Man, it really hurts when you
lose something you care about.
502
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:13,081
It's almost like you
and your garden.
503
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:16,040
Actually,
it's exactly like that.
504
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,435
Francine, I think
I just learned a lesson.
505
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,568
I know I learned one.
Trying to...
506
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:25,354
Oh, look! The trailer for Julius
and John Cena's new movie is up!
507
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:28,488
They stole the idea from Steve
and Klaus. Isn't that funny?
508
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,141
ANNOUNCER:
He's a nuclear physicist
509
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,926
you'd wanna get a beer with...
510
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:35,538
and he's an alligator
you wanna have sex with.
511
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:39,281
And together they're bad news
for the bad guys.
512
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,197
This fall, John Cena
is Brevin Docent...
513
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:45,287
and introducing Julius as... Julius.
514
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,203
Two geniuses from
different genuses.
515
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:52,076
You're gonna wanna [bleep]
this dude and this alligator!
516
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,774
[gunshots]
517
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,993
Directed by
James [bleep] Cameron.
518
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,865
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
519
00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:02,465
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