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1
00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:09,724
Nic. Jen.
You're great. I try.
2
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,884
I've lost my cat,
got a distraught son...
3
00:00:11,884 --> 00:00:14,244
Mum, come on.
We're going to be late again!
4
00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:16,324
Well, we should celebrate.
Yes.
5
00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:17,884
You know. There's vibes.
6
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,164
Dan, this is Jen. Jen, this is Dan.
7
00:00:20,164 --> 00:00:21,684
Jen. Nice to meet you. Dan.
8
00:00:21,684 --> 00:00:23,124
I've got to be really good tonight
9
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,084
cos it's Ollie's
birthday tomorrow morning.
10
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,684
Yeah. Opa! Opa!
11
00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:29,724
It was like my twin flame.
12
00:00:29,724 --> 00:00:31,484
What? With... Not with him.
13
00:00:31,484 --> 00:00:33,004
With a guy called Alex.
14
00:00:33,004 --> 00:00:35,124
Did you just break up, or...?
15
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,764
Oh, God.
16
00:00:48,444 --> 00:00:50,444
God!
17
00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,924
To the good times!
18
00:00:53,924 --> 00:00:55,804
Why do you drink?
Why do you do it to yourself?
19
00:00:55,804 --> 00:00:57,724
Why do you keep making
the same mistake, Nic?
20
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,084
Hmm? Hmm?
21
00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,924
I'm stuck. I mean, what am I
supposed to do? I don't have a job.
22
00:01:01,924 --> 00:01:04,524
But I don't understand.
If you're not happy with Dan,
23
00:01:04,524 --> 00:01:06,244
why can't you leave now?
24
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,804
You opened them. Mm?
25
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,164
You opened them without me.
26
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,844
Yeah, cos you were fast asleep
and he wanted to crack on.
27
00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:24,604
So, sorry.
28
00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:27,124
Yeah. I mean, when you
were asleep, to be honest,
29
00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,724
you looked like you were dead.
30
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:31,164
You were dribbling and everything.
It was horrific.
31
00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:32,684
Was I? Yeah. Yeah.
32
00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:35,764
It's actually quite sad.
Oh, God.
33
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:37,804
I can't believe
I had that much to drink.
34
00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:39,204
Really?
35
00:01:39,204 --> 00:01:43,404
Look, I was battered and I was
singing Fresh Prince, the rap,
36
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,364
so I've lost my voice.
Really?
37
00:01:45,364 --> 00:01:46,884
Well, I didn't do it on purpose.
38
00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:49,164
I've organised all of this.
I know, I know.
39
00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:51,524
And Jen just kept topping me up,
and topping me up,
40
00:01:51,524 --> 00:01:53,484
and topping me up,
and topping me up. Yeah.
41
00:01:53,484 --> 00:01:56,324
Was it her idea to get the port?
42
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,924
She get that out, did she, the port?
43
00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,564
What? That bottle of port's
from four Christmases ago, Nic,
44
00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:02,884
I'm surprised you woke up.
45
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,764
You had a lot to chat about, then.
46
00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,204
Where is Jen? She's gone.
47
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,244
Thought she was staying the night?
48
00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:18,204
Yeah, but Harry couldn't sleep,
so she had to take him back.
49
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,764
When? Dunno. Just in the night.
50
00:02:20,764 --> 00:02:22,444
Oh.
51
00:02:22,444 --> 00:02:25,084
Well, did he like his camera?
52
00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:27,124
Yeah, I think so. Did you?
53
00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,364
Me, what, huh?
Do you like your camera?
54
00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:31,004
I spent ages choosing that, lad.
55
00:02:31,004 --> 00:02:32,764
Er, yeah.
56
00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:35,644
Yeah, I mean, like, when I,
57
00:02:35,644 --> 00:02:38,484
like, when I opened the
box, I was just, like,
58
00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:39,884
"Pfff, whoa."
59
00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:42,284
We're getting you cash as well.
Yeah, cash is nice.
60
00:02:42,284 --> 00:02:44,524
Have you taken a picture with
the hat that your mum sent?
61
00:02:44,524 --> 00:02:46,764
No. Well, no, cos he's in his
pyjamas. Oh, what, you...
62
00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:49,324
Well, she's going to be
on my case otherwise.
63
00:02:49,324 --> 00:02:50,764
What else did she get you?
64
00:02:50,764 --> 00:02:53,164
Duplo. Are you kidding?
65
00:02:53,164 --> 00:02:56,364
Nope. Oh, my God.
That's ridiculous. Two-plus.
66
00:02:56,364 --> 00:02:58,004
I mean, does she know
how old you are?
67
00:02:58,004 --> 00:03:00,124
Obviously not. This is for infants.
68
00:03:00,124 --> 00:03:01,564
Christ Almighty.
69
00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:03,604
Right.
I'm not wearing that.
70
00:03:03,604 --> 00:03:04,764
Nic? No. Yes.
71
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,684
You haven't said
"happy birthday" to him yet.
72
00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:08,884
Yes, I have! No, you haven't.
Do I get... Have I not? No.
73
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,284
Oh, happy birthday, mate.
74
00:03:11,284 --> 00:03:14,364
Ugh! Mum!
Just stand there with that.
75
00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,844
Quick. Please, mate. Quick. Come on.
76
00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:19,684
Right, stay there.
Hang on a sec. OK.
77
00:03:21,004 --> 00:03:23,684
The lighting's not right. You have
to go over here. Go over there.
78
00:03:23,684 --> 00:03:26,204
No, Mum. Come on. Chop, chop,
chop, chop. I don't want to do it.
79
00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:28,964
Come on, come on. You want that
money in your building society,
80
00:03:28,964 --> 00:03:31,284
mate, you better earn it.
OK. Right, OK.
81
00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:32,964
Smile.
82
00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:34,244
Just do it nicely.
83
00:03:34,244 --> 00:03:35,564
Imagine that's a load of cash.
84
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:37,164
I'm not answering that.
That's Mum.
85
00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,364
Smile nicely. Ha! Hey!
86
00:03:39,364 --> 00:03:40,884
Oh.
87
00:03:40,884 --> 00:03:42,804
Ah, she's phoning me now.
Don't answer it.
88
00:03:42,804 --> 00:03:45,244
Hello? Yes, Carol.
89
00:03:45,244 --> 00:03:47,004
Yeah. No, he is by his phone.
90
00:03:47,004 --> 00:03:48,924
He just didn't want to talk to YOU.
91
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,124
It was a joke, Carol.
92
00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:53,644
Yes, he's HERE!
93
00:03:53,644 --> 00:03:55,124
Here's Nanny!
94
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,644
Hi, Nan.
95
00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:02,324
Yeah, yeah. Right, right.
I loved it.
96
00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:05,964
It's just... Yeah, it's...
The present... It's just amazing.
97
00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:10,764
Yeah. I'm wearing my hat
for a picture for you and...
98
00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:13,124
You know that when I opened it,
I was just, like,
99
00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:14,804
"Cor! It's just so good!"
100
00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:17,524
Yeah.
101
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,244
Um.
102
00:04:19,244 --> 00:04:21,844
It's, like...
103
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,244
Oh.
104
00:04:27,124 --> 00:04:29,164
Babe? I'm sorry.
105
00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:31,524
I didn't mean it.
Don't be sorry for that.
106
00:04:31,524 --> 00:04:33,684
That's... I'm unbelievably
proud of you.
107
00:04:33,684 --> 00:04:36,484
That was good. That was quite good.
That was good, weren't it? I know.
108
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,164
That was really great.
109
00:04:38,164 --> 00:04:40,644
Don't hang up on her like that.
Oh, she's phoning again.
110
00:04:40,644 --> 00:04:42,844
Pass me some of that wrapping paper.
111
00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:44,404
Hiya, Carol.
112
00:04:44,404 --> 00:04:45,724
No, I can't.
113
00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:47,404
Can you not hear me at all?
114
00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:58,604
Hey, Mum?
115
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,444
What? We're a bit bored.
116
00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:03,364
I mean, have you tried wrapping
Denin up in some bog roll?
117
00:05:03,364 --> 00:05:05,684
Yeah, we've done that.
That's page one.
118
00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:09,124
I don't know, then. Do what normal
kids do - just wet toilet paper
119
00:05:09,124 --> 00:05:10,884
and just throw it at the ceiling.
120
00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:13,404
All right. God... Oh, God...
121
00:05:14,844 --> 00:05:16,244
Cheers, Mum.
122
00:05:33,284 --> 00:05:34,964
Ew, I saw that!
123
00:05:34,964 --> 00:05:36,324
That's disgusting!
124
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,924
Go on, then. Lucky dip.
125
00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,524
Gross! Shame on you!
126
00:05:48,444 --> 00:05:50,524
It was that one.
127
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,564
Oh, God.
128
00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:54,204
Oh, God, no!
129
00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:57,645
Get out!
130
00:05:57,645 --> 00:05:58,965
Get out now!
131
00:06:07,925 --> 00:06:09,525
Oh...
132
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,565
Nic? Is that you?
133
00:06:22,285 --> 00:06:23,805
Hi, Lucy.
134
00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:26,365
Are you all right in there?
It sounds very painful.
135
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,205
No, I'm fine!
136
00:06:28,205 --> 00:06:29,445
Everyone's arrived.
137
00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:31,045
OK, great!
138
00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,205
Yeah. Um, the kids are
getting a bit restless,
139
00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:35,645
so I think we should put
Ollie's film on now.
140
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,045
OK. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
141
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,765
Um, very quickly...
142
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,965
Yeah?
143
00:06:41,965 --> 00:06:44,405
Just while you're there,
I just wanted to ask your advice
144
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,245
on something very, very quickly.
145
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:48,085
I'm thinking about signing up...
OK.
146
00:06:48,085 --> 00:06:50,245
Do you think we could
talk about this later?
147
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:53,125
Oh, OK! Do you want me to ask you
when you're done? Yeah, please.
148
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:56,525
Thanks!
Okey dokey. Good luck!
149
00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:16,885
Lucy, are you still there?
150
00:07:16,885 --> 00:07:19,365
Go! Please, go!
151
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:31,085
Oh, God!
152
00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:33,685
God!
153
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,805
"It's a boy!"
154
00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,045
Nic?
155
00:07:47,045 --> 00:07:49,445
Nic?
156
00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:51,005
What's wrong? What's happened?
157
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,365
I've got to stop shopping
when I'm pissed.
158
00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:55,525
Why am I like this?! Oh...
159
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,405
Oh, just shut up. You're amazing.
You know you are.
160
00:07:58,405 --> 00:07:59,725
Oh...
161
00:07:59,725 --> 00:08:03,005
I keep getting flashes of
something I said to you last night.
162
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,245
What do you mean?
163
00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:08,205
I can't remember quite what it was,
but I'm just...urrrrgh!
164
00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:10,045
What did I say to you? Ugh...
165
00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:13,165
You're just.... You're just going
to absolutely drive yourself mad...
166
00:08:13,165 --> 00:08:15,525
I know. ..with all this. OK?
I know, I know.
167
00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:16,965
That's why you're so messed up, OK?
168
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:19,045
Because you never talk to
anyone about it. I know!
169
00:08:19,045 --> 00:08:20,285
You hold it all in all the time.
170
00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:22,605
Jeez, Nic, you're just a human.
171
00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:25,805
We've all done shit, OK? Oh...
172
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,405
God... I would never,
ever tell anyone about it.
173
00:08:29,405 --> 00:08:31,045
You promise? I promise.
174
00:08:31,045 --> 00:08:33,885
You'd never say anything? I promise,
I would never. Oh, my God...
175
00:08:33,885 --> 00:08:38,045
It's not your fault, Nic.
None of it was your fault.
176
00:08:38,045 --> 00:08:41,085
I can't deal with this. You can,
you can, look. Come on, get up.
177
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,965
God, it's like a load of
rats have escaped from a lab!
178
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:46,205
They're like animals! I know!
179
00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:49,085
But, you know, you asked
for this, so, come on.
180
00:08:49,085 --> 00:08:50,645
Oh, God, right...
181
00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:52,245
..that's it.
182
00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,085
Everything hurts. I know, I know.
183
00:08:55,325 --> 00:08:56,485
Oh...
184
00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,605
Oh! What?
185
00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:03,045
I knew this was going to happen...
What?!
186
00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:05,525
..so I made a call.
187
00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:07,605
This is going to sort you right out.
188
00:09:07,605 --> 00:09:09,365
Please say it's drugs.
189
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,565
Ollie! Ollie!
190
00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:20,165
Oh...! Really good.
191
00:09:20,165 --> 00:09:22,725
His mind is, whoa.
192
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:25,005
He's very clever.
I tell you what we should do.
193
00:09:25,005 --> 00:09:27,205
We should go on a girls' trip,
we should do a spa day.
194
00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:28,525
Spa day! Spa day!
195
00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:30,045
Girls, girls, shush.
196
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:32,645
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sh!
197
00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,325
Girls' trip, do a spa day.
198
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:35,805
Yeah! Bath Spa!
199
00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,045
I tell you what as well.
200
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:39,525
Why don't we go to this
brilliant Greek restaurant
201
00:09:39,525 --> 00:09:41,485
where they do the...
202
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,845
You know, the spinning round thing?
They smash the plate.
203
00:09:43,845 --> 00:09:46,485
Girls' trip, Bath Spa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!
204
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,325
And leave the grumpy old
git at home.
205
00:09:52,005 --> 00:09:53,605
Ready?
206
00:09:53,605 --> 00:09:55,365
Three, two, one.
207
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:56,725
Boom.
208
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,445
Go, go!
209
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,725
You all right? What you doing?
Nothing.
210
00:10:06,645 --> 00:10:09,005
Ugh... Who's that?
211
00:10:09,005 --> 00:10:11,365
Who's ringing? I don't know.
What's the time?
212
00:10:11,365 --> 00:10:14,485
Everyone got picked up
from the party, didn't they?
213
00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:15,805
How should I know?!
214
00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:17,325
It was your party, mate.
215
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,245
Hey!
Hey!
216
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:21,685
It's Suze. Oh, Suze! Hey!
217
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,645
Hey, how you doing, buddy?
218
00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:27,725
Hey. Hello, Auntie Suze.
219
00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:29,765
Nice to see you! You too!
220
00:10:29,765 --> 00:10:33,365
OK. So, I know I'm the absolute
worst because I missed your party,
221
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:37,765
but I have got you
the most awesome present.
222
00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:39,805
Thank you. Can I
get you a drink, Suze?
223
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,885
Uh... No, I can't stay long, sorry.
224
00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,885
So, I know this is a bit niche,
225
00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:46,125
but I had these especially made
226
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,125
just for you.
227
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,765
Wait... Oh, my God!
228
00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:52,365
What is it? What is it?
229
00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:55,725
It's the...the... Remember the
stop-motion thing we saw on telly?
230
00:10:55,725 --> 00:10:58,165
Yeah. It's that!
Yeah, they're Claymation figures.
231
00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:01,125
They've got wires in them so you can
bend them whichever way you want.
232
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:04,125
I can't get you a glass of wine?
I can't stay, honestly. Sorry.
233
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,805
Actually, listen, I've been thinking
about...
234
00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:11,285
..Alex's anniversary. Oh, yeah.
235
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:16,485
And I thought maybe we could get
a memorial seat at Old Trafford.
236
00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:19,125
That's a great idea.
Yeah? OK, cool.
237
00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,365
It's, like, a couple
thousand for the plaque.
238
00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:22,965
Well, that's fine. I can chip in.
239
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:25,445
Weirdly, we were talking about
maybe putting some money...
240
00:11:25,445 --> 00:11:27,845
They've given me a map of
the different seats available.
241
00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:30,525
..behind the bar at his favourite
pub. I don't know anything about
242
00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:32,525
football, so I thought
maybe you could choose.
243
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,765
Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
244
00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:35,405
Yeah? What should
I get on the plaque?
245
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:37,805
Um... It's no swearing.
They're a bit weird about it, so...
246
00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:40,605
Yeah, I'll think of something, yeah.
Like a nickname or something?
247
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,725
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he had a load of them.
248
00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:45,965
Yeah, that's nice. That's lovely.
Yeah.
249
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:47,925
Cool. Great.
250
00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:50,365
Right, I've got to go,
I've got to go. Sorry.
251
00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:53,205
I've got to go to this boring dinner
and wonder why the guy playing
252
00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:55,245
opposite me is on twice
as much as I am. Yay!
253
00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,565
Oh, God, yes. Ooh, um...
Thank you!
254
00:11:57,565 --> 00:12:00,125
Happy birthday. Oh...
Thanks, Auntie Suze.
255
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:02,605
Oh, that's great. That's great.
I've got to go. I'm sorry.
256
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:05,485
Bye, Auntie Suze. Love you! Bye-bye.
Love you. Bye-bye, Bye-bye.
257
00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:08,285
Oh, God, we must go
for that coffee, Sue.
258
00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,845
When you used to
hang out with him,
259
00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:18,965
you made me so uncomfortable.
260
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,925
I'm going to go to bed, I think.
261
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,005
OK.
262
00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:41,245
Night, Mum. Night.
263
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:15,485
Who's ready to
hear the sock story?
264
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:18,165
So, as most of you
will probably know...
265
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,085
It's 20 to three, Dan.
266
00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:26,885
And what did she see?
267
00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:31,005
She saw a 14-year-old
Dan furiously,
268
00:13:31,005 --> 00:13:35,445
furiously giving it to
his favourite football sock.
269
00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:36,805
Come to bed, Dan.
270
00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:38,245
Yeah, I'm coming to bed.
271
00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:39,405
In a bit, yeah.
272
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:40,685
This was just around the time
273
00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:42,645
he got made captain of
the school football team.
274
00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:44,845
What kind of disgusting
power trip was this?
275
00:13:46,565 --> 00:13:48,725
So, I went to the
same school as Dan,
276
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:51,885
and I made it my business
to tell the entire school.
277
00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:55,845
And by lunchtime, I get pulled
into the headmaster's office,
278
00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:58,125
and he says to me, "Alex..."
279
00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,325
You never told me
what you actually saw. Dan...!
280
00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,445
I've got an image of it in my head,
281
00:14:04,445 --> 00:14:06,405
and I just need to know
if it was better or worse.
282
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,005
It was quick.
283
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,525
That's it. That's
all you need to know.
284
00:14:10,525 --> 00:14:13,685
I know I'm making this about me.
I know you loved him too. I'm sorry.
285
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:16,245
An exploration
into the groom's proudest
286
00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:18,965
and funniest moments
by way of a gentle roast.
287
00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:20,765
Who's that? Who's that boy?
288
00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,485
It's a cousin, isn't it?
289
00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:24,205
And that girl.
290
00:14:33,325 --> 00:14:35,365
Come to bed. Come on.
291
00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:39,365
I just want to understand
why you didn't...
292
00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:41,925
I'm not doing all of this.
Come to bed.
293
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:44,645
If you walk into his room,
294
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:46,365
You will get a shock...
Everyone!
295
00:14:46,365 --> 00:14:50,245
Dan, Dan, Dan the perve,
wanked into a sock
296
00:14:50,245 --> 00:14:53,925
If you walk into this room,
you will get a shock.
297
00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,205
Again!
298
00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:00,645
Oh, I love it!
299
00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:02,485
Wow, reverse!
300
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,125
Really good, Ollie.
301
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:09,165
Oh, no... What?
302
00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,445
She's booked the Greek restaurant.
303
00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:13,085
No! Yes!
304
00:15:13,085 --> 00:15:16,085
And she's sent a gif of
a plate being smashed.
305
00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:18,525
Oh, God, no! Yeah!
306
00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:21,205
Oh, my God, how are we
going to get out of this?
307
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:24,165
I don't know!
Oh, God!
308
00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,605
Oh, God, is that her?
309
00:15:28,605 --> 00:15:29,885
Hello?
310
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,245
Oh, yes.
Yeah, speaking.
311
00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:33,445
Oh, my goodness.
312
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,525
Yeah. Where did you find him?
313
00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,085
Yeah, I can come now.
314
00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:41,845
Where's my bloody coat?
315
00:15:52,045 --> 00:15:53,925
You all right up there, boys?
316
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:56,885
What's so funny?
317
00:16:01,965 --> 00:16:03,765
Oh, shit.
318
00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:08,645
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
319
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,045
Anyone in? Nic?
320
00:16:20,925 --> 00:16:23,165
Always leaving the bloody TV on.
321
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,645
There's an energy crisis going on!
322
00:16:45,445 --> 00:16:47,645
Oh, hi. Oh, hey!
323
00:16:47,645 --> 00:16:50,525
Oh, I am so sorry to keep
you waiting. Oh, that's OK.
324
00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:53,765
I think someone's going
to be very happy to see you!
325
00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,925
Oh, my God!
326
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:59,805
Oh, Mr Meowgi! Oh, my gosh!
Hello, mate!
327
00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:01,365
"Hello, Mummy!"
328
00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:04,045
Aw, Ollie's going to be so relieved.
329
00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:06,165
He's been good as gold.
Oh... Mm-hm.
330
00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:07,725
He's lost a bit of weight.
331
00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:10,565
Yeah, he was very, very
hungry when he came in.
332
00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:12,125
Very hungry.
333
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:14,245
Watch out for his claws!
334
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:16,845
God, you nasty...
335
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,365
That's it, fella.
336
00:17:18,365 --> 00:17:21,045
I'm just going to get
you to go in here.
337
00:17:21,045 --> 00:17:22,445
That's it.
338
00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:24,605
Careful of the tail! Yes!
339
00:17:24,605 --> 00:17:27,165
Just put your arse in.
Thank you.
340
00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:28,485
Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
341
00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:37,606
All right...
342
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:40,246
Found Mr Meowgi! Mum...
343
00:17:40,246 --> 00:17:41,726
Ollie! Mum.
344
00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:45,206
What's happened?
345
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,606
Do you want to tell her, or shall I?
346
00:17:50,606 --> 00:17:52,486
Do you want to...?
347
00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:57,166
These two have just spent
45 minutes tormenting me.
348
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,006
What have you done?
349
00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:03,126
Well, it was my idea
to use the Fart Blaster.
350
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,286
Sorry, what's a Fart Blaster?
That.
351
00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:08,006
THAT is a Fart Blaster.
352
00:18:14,406 --> 00:18:16,206
What did you do in this?
353
00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:21,046
It was my idea to
use the surround sound.
354
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,526
Can you imagine what that...
355
00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:25,206
..is like?
356
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:28,166
365 degrees, just everywhere.
357
00:18:31,966 --> 00:18:33,686
I'm so sorry.
358
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,326
I can't imagine... No.
359
00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:40,886
Would you boys...
360
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,686
..like to say sorry to Viv?
361
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,606
I'm sorry we scared you.
362
00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,846
Um, well...
363
00:18:46,846 --> 00:18:48,526
We were just having a laugh.
364
00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:50,326
That's not an apology, is it?
365
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,126
No. Mm-hm.
366
00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:54,046
What do you say?
Sorry, Viv.
367
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:56,406
Because what must have
that been like for you?
368
00:18:56,406 --> 00:18:58,006
That was absolutely...
369
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,166
It was one of the worst
experiences of my life.
370
00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,886
It was traumatising.
Yeah.
371
00:19:01,886 --> 00:19:04,486
OK, I don't want to be too
vulnerable in front of the children.
372
00:19:04,486 --> 00:19:06,326
I know. I'm so sorry.
373
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:09,566
No cleaning's been done,
so I'm sorry about that.
374
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,086
Do you know what? I don't blame you.
375
00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,806
Imagine you in that situation. I'd
be just as terrified as you were.
376
00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:17,766
Could you do cleaning with
THAT in your whole system?
377
00:19:17,766 --> 00:19:20,606
Are you going to be all right
to drive? Well, I don't know.
378
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,006
Would you be?
379
00:19:22,006 --> 00:19:24,806
Well, I mean, it was
sort of only farts.
380
00:19:24,806 --> 00:19:27,166
All right, I guess
I'll go, then, shall I?
381
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,766
To you, it was only farts.
382
00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:30,766
It was A LOT MORE than that to me.
383
00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:33,006
Though...
384
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:37,326
I tell you what, though,
I would not wish that on anyone.
385
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,006
Not even Katie Hopkins.
386
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,886
So, anyway, hi, Ollie, I'm home!
387
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,166
Ta-da! Who's that?
388
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:55,086
What do you mean, who is it?
It's Mr Meowgi.
389
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,886
Wow.
390
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:01,326
All right, come on, Harry.
391
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:03,526
Ollie! Ollie!
Yeah?
392
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:08,766
Thank you, Mother!
393
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:11,686
It's... It's cool.
394
00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:15,646
Come on, Harry, let's go to
the shed, it's boring in here.
395
00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:17,806
Sorry, mate.
396
00:20:17,806 --> 00:20:20,846
I'm glad you're home, even if
Ollie couldn't give a shit.
397
00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,966
You all right, mate?
Where have you been?
398
00:20:22,966 --> 00:20:24,846
Sorry, just been on
the phone to my mum.
399
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:27,726
Had to hang up, like, eight times.
She just wouldn't shut up.
400
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,406
Found the cat. Oh, nice!
401
00:20:29,406 --> 00:20:32,486
Ollie wasn't bothered.
He wasn't? No, not at all.
402
00:20:32,486 --> 00:20:35,166
Where've they gone? They've gone
out to the shed, have they? Yeah.
403
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,006
What's... What's this doing out?
404
00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:41,446
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe the kids got it out.
405
00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:43,806
Who put this on?
Nice, I don't know...
406
00:20:43,806 --> 00:20:46,046
Who put it on?!
I don't know. Are you OK?
407
00:20:47,726 --> 00:20:49,766
What's wrong?
408
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:51,006
That's him.
409
00:20:51,006 --> 00:20:52,406
Who's him?
410
00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:55,846
That's HIM?
411
00:20:57,366 --> 00:20:58,606
Oh, mate...
412
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,206
So hello.
413
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:02,766
This is the recipes.
414
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:05,926
For those of you who
don't know me, I am Alex.
415
00:21:05,926 --> 00:21:08,646
I am Dan's younger,
better looking brother.
416
00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,006
Right, Nic?
417
00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:11,646
Oh, fuck.
418
00:21:13,046 --> 00:21:14,766
Yikes.
419
00:21:16,126 --> 00:21:18,446
But you can roll it in glitter
and, ladies and gentlemen,
420
00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:20,206
isn't my brother sparkling today?
421
00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:22,006
Give him a round of applause.
422
00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:24,046
God, he hated that tie.
423
00:21:26,726 --> 00:21:30,406
You know, I've never been able to
watch this all the way through.
424
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,166
Why not?
425
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:36,686
Cos it all fucking started
on my wedding day.
426
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,406
..trod dog shit all into the carpets
427
00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:40,646
on the first day
he had his first car.
428
00:21:45,446 --> 00:21:47,566
Stop! It's so fun! Stop it!
429
00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:51,326
Oh, for God's sake. Oh...
430
00:21:51,326 --> 00:21:53,646
The suits are good.
Oh, you think?
431
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,246
Yeah, I'm surprised.
What do you mean, you're surprised?
432
00:21:56,246 --> 00:21:58,366
Suits never fit me,
especially when they're hired.
433
00:21:58,366 --> 00:22:00,366
Moss Bros!
Yeah, it looks good on the botty.
434
00:22:00,366 --> 00:22:02,166
Yeah, it does.
Still enough space to...
435
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,406
..cut the rug later.
436
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,406
Don't! For God's sake!
437
00:22:06,406 --> 00:22:08,806
Just had a champagne with Mum.
Oh, no...
438
00:22:08,806 --> 00:22:11,126
She went to the general
manager of the hotel...
439
00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:13,926
Right, right.
..to specifically ask... Yeah?
440
00:22:13,926 --> 00:22:16,846
..that no-one disturb her
while she practises the song.
441
00:22:16,846 --> 00:22:18,646
Oh, God... Oh...
442
00:22:18,646 --> 00:22:20,766
She's insane. Ugh!
443
00:22:22,246 --> 00:22:24,846
Um... Are you all right?
Are you OK? Yeah.
444
00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:29,126
Oh, God. Don't, you're
scaring me! What is it?
445
00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:31,686
If I don't say, I'm never
going to say it. Um...
446
00:22:31,686 --> 00:22:34,006
I just wanted to say that...
447
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,206
..I think you're amazing...
448
00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:40,486
..and I think I'm in love with you.
449
00:22:41,766 --> 00:22:44,926
Babe, I'm so sorry!
I couldn't find anywhere to park.
450
00:22:44,926 --> 00:22:46,726
There were no spaces at all,
451
00:22:46,726 --> 00:22:49,086
so I had to go and park
in the bloody golf club
452
00:22:49,086 --> 00:22:51,086
and lug all of this
stuff from over there.
453
00:22:51,086 --> 00:22:53,686
Oh... Can you imagine?
No. What a blooming nightmare.
454
00:22:53,686 --> 00:22:56,166
I mean, how can a place
like this, of this scale,
455
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,686
have such a small bloody car park?
456
00:22:57,686 --> 00:22:59,486
I have no idea.
Make it make sense.
457
00:22:59,486 --> 00:23:01,886
Can we make it make sense,
please?! No, I don't...
458
00:23:01,886 --> 00:23:03,886
Oh, gosh. The day!
459
00:23:03,886 --> 00:23:05,766
My boyfriend was up all
night, yeah? Yeah?
460
00:23:05,766 --> 00:23:07,846
My boyfriend was up all night
being sick. Oh...
461
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:10,286
Well, from every angle, really -
from the front and the back.
462
00:23:10,286 --> 00:23:13,966
Because I gave him a fish pie
that I made on Monday on Saturday.
463
00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,446
Because this bitch, he saw
me in my new Givenchy coat,
464
00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,366
and he said to me that I look like
a character out of the Muppets.
465
00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:20,726
Oh... That's...
466
00:23:20,726 --> 00:23:23,326
That coat is beautiful. Yeah?
Very beautiful.
467
00:23:23,326 --> 00:23:26,246
And I know, I know I shouldn't have
given him that fish pie,
468
00:23:26,246 --> 00:23:29,446
but he hurt me. And when that fool
used to walk around town dressing
469
00:23:29,446 --> 00:23:32,246
like he was in the Peaky Blinders,
did I say anything? No.
470
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,886
No, I didn't, because I knew
it would destroy him. Yeah.
471
00:23:34,886 --> 00:23:37,806
Anyway, anyway, are we, are we,
are we excited about today?
472
00:23:37,806 --> 00:23:39,766
Yes! Sorry! This is Alex.
Alex.
473
00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:42,166
Jesus. Alex, this is Jesus.
Lovely to meet you, Alex.
474
00:23:42,166 --> 00:23:44,046
Sorry, Jesus? Jesus, yes.
475
00:23:44,046 --> 00:23:47,446
Um, babe, could you get me
a coffee, by any chance?
476
00:23:47,446 --> 00:23:50,166
Yes, Jesus. Um...
How do you take it?
477
00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,446
Cappuccino, please. No sugar.
478
00:23:54,006 --> 00:23:56,446
Um.... It's a hotel, so there's
only instant in the rooms.
479
00:23:56,446 --> 00:23:58,486
Don't they do cappuccinos
at the bar downstairs?
480
00:23:58,486 --> 00:24:00,566
Yeah. Mm-hm? Brilliant.
Thank you very much.
481
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:02,646
Do you want the
chocolate dust on the top?
482
00:24:02,646 --> 00:24:04,566
Everything, please.
Give me it all.
483
00:24:06,286 --> 00:24:08,326
OK, he's a little bit sexy.
484
00:24:08,326 --> 00:24:10,606
Mm-hm. I would like a
bit of that, please.
485
00:24:10,606 --> 00:24:12,686
Yeah? Oh, I like him a lot.
486
00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,686
I'm very happy for you,
you're in a good place.
487
00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:17,326
But isn't it bad luck to see
the groom before you get married?
488
00:24:17,326 --> 00:24:19,006
Sorry, he's not the groom.
489
00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,526
Absolutely not the groom.
490
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,966
Right... Sorry, he's not.
491
00:24:21,966 --> 00:24:24,326
Um... Has anything changed
since the consultation?
492
00:24:24,326 --> 00:24:25,606
You're still happy with...?
493
00:24:25,606 --> 00:24:27,486
I was just wondering, possibly,
494
00:24:27,486 --> 00:24:30,366
if I could have sort of shorter
lashes, if that was possible?
495
00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:32,566
No. No? No, babe,
I really wouldn't know.
496
00:24:32,566 --> 00:24:35,166
No, you need to trust me. Shorter
lashes do not photograph well.
497
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,246
OK. Could we go a bit neutral
on the lips, possibly?
498
00:24:37,246 --> 00:24:39,766
No, I don't think so.
No? OK. Yep. Stick with the plan.
499
00:24:39,766 --> 00:24:41,806
All right, let me get
started with your base.
500
00:24:43,246 --> 00:24:46,206
I'm sorry, but your
flower girl is a prick. Oh, I know.
501
00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:49,446
I know she's only six but, my God,
she's a massive prick! I know!
502
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:52,246
And guess who organised
that one! Wonderful Carol.
503
00:24:52,246 --> 00:24:54,126
Please don't make
me go back out there.
504
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,886
No, no, no, don't go back out there.
505
00:24:55,886 --> 00:24:59,566
Carol, made me, FORCED me,
by the way, to have her. Ugh!
506
00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,686
Have you seen
your mother-in-law yet?
507
00:25:01,686 --> 00:25:03,166
Oh, God, no.
508
00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,766
She's a piece of work too!
509
00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,446
If I started stabbing her,
I would just never stop stabbing.
510
00:25:07,446 --> 00:25:08,966
God, it's like she can't handle that
511
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:11,046
you'll be, like, the centre
of attention today.
512
00:25:11,046 --> 00:25:13,526
She can't handle anybody
being the centre of attention.
513
00:25:13,526 --> 00:25:15,046
And she tried to
palm Ollie off to me.
514
00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:16,486
Hi, Carol!
515
00:25:16,486 --> 00:25:18,566
Oh, Suzie! There you are!
516
00:25:18,566 --> 00:25:20,206
Hi, Carol!
517
00:25:20,206 --> 00:25:23,286
You couldn't just take him for
a couple of seconds, could you?
518
00:25:23,286 --> 00:25:25,206
I'm sorry, I can't.
519
00:25:26,286 --> 00:25:28,046
Nicola? Yeah?
520
00:25:28,046 --> 00:25:30,206
Please could you take
him for a minute?
521
00:25:30,206 --> 00:25:32,246
Oh, just...
I've still got to get ready.
522
00:25:32,246 --> 00:25:33,886
I'm just getting
ready for my wedding.
523
00:25:33,886 --> 00:25:35,686
But he just wants you.
524
00:25:35,686 --> 00:25:38,086
He's just a bit tired, Carol.
525
00:25:38,086 --> 00:25:41,046
Are you still all right to do me
afterwards? Yeah, we're good.
526
00:25:41,046 --> 00:25:42,846
Am I paying for that? No.
527
00:25:42,846 --> 00:25:45,046
No, I know, you just want
your mummy, don't you?
528
00:25:45,046 --> 00:25:47,006
Hey, cappuccino.
529
00:25:47,006 --> 00:25:49,246
Oh, we are here!
Thank you, baby!
530
00:25:51,126 --> 00:25:52,486
Are you good?
531
00:25:53,446 --> 00:25:55,366
Hey, what's wrong, big man?
Why are you crying?
532
00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:57,686
Oh, he just wants his mummy!
Why are you crying?
533
00:25:57,686 --> 00:25:59,326
Silly Nana.
Mummy's getting married.
534
00:25:59,326 --> 00:26:01,566
Oh... Come on. Come on, mate.
535
00:26:01,566 --> 00:26:03,326
Let's go check the United score.
536
00:26:03,326 --> 00:26:05,686
Say, "Bye, Mummy. Love you.
Love you lots."
537
00:26:05,686 --> 00:26:06,846
Thank you.
538
00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:08,966
You're not going to be
much longer, are you?
539
00:26:08,966 --> 00:26:11,126
No... Mum, give Nic
some space, yeah?
540
00:26:11,126 --> 00:26:13,326
All right!
Yeah. Come on.
541
00:26:13,326 --> 00:26:15,006
I got you, I got you.
542
00:26:24,606 --> 00:26:26,366
Did you notice that?
543
00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:28,046
What? Alex.
544
00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:30,406
What about Alex?
545
00:26:30,406 --> 00:26:32,686
He's pulling away
from me.
546
00:26:32,686 --> 00:26:34,486
Really? Yes,
I can feel it.
547
00:26:34,486 --> 00:26:36,806
He's giving me that vibe,
like, the last couple of weeks.
548
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:39,406
Really? Yes! No... You
know when you just know?
549
00:26:39,406 --> 00:26:40,926
Oh, my God, no, no,
no, no. Yes!
550
00:26:40,926 --> 00:26:42,486
I didn't see your man.
551
00:26:42,486 --> 00:26:45,566
What's he like? Tell me about him.
He's... Uh, Dan?
552
00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:48,486
Um... He's very reliable
and sort of... Fantastic.
553
00:26:48,486 --> 00:26:50,886
..like an A4 envelope, I suppose.
554
00:26:50,886 --> 00:26:53,206
Cos you've got a lot of sauce,
I thought you need someone
555
00:26:53,206 --> 00:26:55,286
that's going to be
quite sturdy in that way.
556
00:26:55,286 --> 00:26:57,926
I saw him earlier and
he was grinning from ear to ear.
557
00:26:57,926 --> 00:27:00,846
Really? Yeah. He looked
like a right dickhead.
558
00:27:00,846 --> 00:27:04,286
Dan, you always did well at school.
You were brilliant at football.
559
00:27:04,286 --> 00:27:05,806
You took over the business from Dad
560
00:27:05,806 --> 00:27:08,046
and you've absolutely
smashed that as well.
561
00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,206
You excel at everything
you put your mind to, Dan.
562
00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:12,126
And, of course, as
your little brother,
563
00:27:12,126 --> 00:27:14,246
I did get jealous
every now and then.
564
00:27:14,246 --> 00:27:16,406
And then Dan met Nic and I thought,
565
00:27:16,406 --> 00:27:18,086
"Holy shit, he's done it.
566
00:27:18,086 --> 00:27:19,566
"He's found the one."
567
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,566
He's found a unicorn,
568
00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:26,646
a woman so funny she can
make you cry with laughter.
569
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:30,566
So witty and smart she
can tie us all in knots.
570
00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,886
So beautiful - and I'm
sure you'll all agree -
571
00:27:32,886 --> 00:27:35,246
that today she took
all of our breath away.
572
00:27:39,086 --> 00:27:41,126
And you will never
find a better mother.
573
00:27:42,646 --> 00:27:44,166
That's a round of applause, guys.
574
00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,086
That's your cue for the
round of applause.
575
00:27:47,606 --> 00:27:50,606
But most importantly, she is
really good at telling Dan
576
00:27:50,606 --> 00:27:53,086
when he's being a massive bellend.
577
00:27:55,126 --> 00:27:57,486
Dan, I love you.
578
00:27:57,486 --> 00:28:00,206
Nic, I love you.
579
00:28:02,086 --> 00:28:05,606
She stands before the mirror
580
00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:08,846
Smiles at her reflection
581
00:28:08,846 --> 00:28:12,486
Striking sexy poses in the glass
582
00:28:14,606 --> 00:28:17,366
She paints her lips
a brilliant red
583
00:28:17,366 --> 00:28:20,686
Piles her hair high on her head
584
00:28:20,686 --> 00:28:24,606
Struggles to replace
a false eyelash
585
00:28:27,126 --> 00:28:29,566
And all at once inside her mind
586
00:28:29,566 --> 00:28:32,406
She sees him at the door
587
00:28:32,406 --> 00:28:36,166
And as he's leading her away
588
00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:39,446
She feels the room begin to sway
589
00:28:39,446 --> 00:28:42,966
Where beauty lives in memory
590
00:28:42,966 --> 00:28:46,966
She falls dead upon the floor
591
00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:53,446
Mirror, mirror on the wall
592
00:28:53,446 --> 00:28:58,046
Who's the fairest of them all?
593
00:28:58,096 --> 00:29:02,646
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