All language subtitles for Am I Being Unreasonable s01e02.engg
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:09,724
Nic. Jen.
You're great. I try.
2
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,884
I've lost my cat,
got a distraught son...
3
00:00:11,884 --> 00:00:14,244
Mum, come on.
We're going to be late again!
4
00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:16,324
Well, we should celebrate.
Yes.
5
00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:17,884
You know. There's vibes.
6
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,164
Dan, this is Jen. Jen, this is Dan.
7
00:00:20,164 --> 00:00:21,684
Jen. Nice to meet you. Dan.
8
00:00:21,684 --> 00:00:23,124
I've got to be really good tonight
9
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,084
cos it's Ollie's
birthday tomorrow morning.
10
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,684
Yeah. Opa! Opa!
11
00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:29,724
It was like my twin flame.
12
00:00:29,724 --> 00:00:31,484
What? With... Not with him.
13
00:00:31,484 --> 00:00:33,004
With a guy called Alex.
14
00:00:33,004 --> 00:00:35,124
Did you just break up, or...?
15
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,764
Oh, God.
16
00:00:48,444 --> 00:00:50,444
God!
17
00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,924
To the good times!
18
00:00:53,924 --> 00:00:55,804
Why do you drink?
Why do you do it to yourself?
19
00:00:55,804 --> 00:00:57,724
Why do you keep making
the same mistake, Nic?
20
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,084
Hmm? Hmm?
21
00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,924
I'm stuck. I mean, what am I
supposed to do? I don't have a job.
22
00:01:01,924 --> 00:01:04,524
But I don't understand.
If you're not happy with Dan,
23
00:01:04,524 --> 00:01:06,244
why can't you leave now?
24
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,804
You opened them. Mm?
25
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,164
You opened them without me.
26
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,844
Yeah, cos you were fast asleep
and he wanted to crack on.
27
00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:24,604
So, sorry.
28
00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:27,124
Yeah. I mean, when you
were asleep, to be honest,
29
00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,724
you looked like you were dead.
30
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:31,164
You were dribbling and everything.
It was horrific.
31
00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:32,684
Was I? Yeah. Yeah.
32
00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:35,764
It's actually quite sad.
Oh, God.
33
00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:37,804
I can't believe
I had that much to drink.
34
00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:39,204
Really?
35
00:01:39,204 --> 00:01:43,404
Look, I was battered and I was
singing Fresh Prince, the rap,
36
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,364
so I've lost my voice.
Really?
37
00:01:45,364 --> 00:01:46,884
Well, I didn't do it on purpose.
38
00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:49,164
I've organised all of this.
I know, I know.
39
00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:51,524
And Jen just kept topping me up,
and topping me up,
40
00:01:51,524 --> 00:01:53,484
and topping me up,
and topping me up. Yeah.
41
00:01:53,484 --> 00:01:56,324
Was it her idea to get the port?
42
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,924
She get that out, did she, the port?
43
00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,564
What? That bottle of port's
from four Christmases ago, Nic,
44
00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:02,884
I'm surprised you woke up.
45
00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,764
You had a lot to chat about, then.
46
00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,204
Where is Jen? She's gone.
47
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,244
Thought she was staying the night?
48
00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:18,204
Yeah, but Harry couldn't sleep,
so she had to take him back.
49
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,764
When? Dunno. Just in the night.
50
00:02:20,764 --> 00:02:22,444
Oh.
51
00:02:22,444 --> 00:02:25,084
Well, did he like his camera?
52
00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:27,124
Yeah, I think so. Did you?
53
00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,364
Me, what, huh?
Do you like your camera?
54
00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:31,004
I spent ages choosing that, lad.
55
00:02:31,004 --> 00:02:32,764
Er, yeah.
56
00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:35,644
Yeah, I mean, like, when I,
57
00:02:35,644 --> 00:02:38,484
like, when I opened the
box, I was just, like,
58
00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:39,884
"Pfff, whoa."
59
00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:42,284
We're getting you cash as well.
Yeah, cash is nice.
60
00:02:42,284 --> 00:02:44,524
Have you taken a picture with
the hat that your mum sent?
61
00:02:44,524 --> 00:02:46,764
No. Well, no, cos he's in his
pyjamas. Oh, what, you...
62
00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:49,324
Well, she's going to be
on my case otherwise.
63
00:02:49,324 --> 00:02:50,764
What else did she get you?
64
00:02:50,764 --> 00:02:53,164
Duplo. Are you kidding?
65
00:02:53,164 --> 00:02:56,364
Nope. Oh, my God.
That's ridiculous. Two-plus.
66
00:02:56,364 --> 00:02:58,004
I mean, does she know
how old you are?
67
00:02:58,004 --> 00:03:00,124
Obviously not. This is for infants.
68
00:03:00,124 --> 00:03:01,564
Christ Almighty.
69
00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:03,604
Right.
I'm not wearing that.
70
00:03:03,604 --> 00:03:04,764
Nic? No. Yes.
71
00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,684
You haven't said
"happy birthday" to him yet.
72
00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:08,884
Yes, I have! No, you haven't.
Do I get... Have I not? No.
73
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,284
Oh, happy birthday, mate.
74
00:03:11,284 --> 00:03:14,364
Ugh! Mum!
Just stand there with that.
75
00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,844
Quick. Please, mate. Quick. Come on.
76
00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:19,684
Right, stay there.
Hang on a sec. OK.
77
00:03:21,004 --> 00:03:23,684
The lighting's not right. You have
to go over here. Go over there.
78
00:03:23,684 --> 00:03:26,204
No, Mum. Come on. Chop, chop,
chop, chop. I don't want to do it.
79
00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:28,964
Come on, come on. You want that
money in your building society,
80
00:03:28,964 --> 00:03:31,284
mate, you better earn it.
OK. Right, OK.
81
00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:32,964
Smile.
82
00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:34,244
Just do it nicely.
83
00:03:34,244 --> 00:03:35,564
Imagine that's a load of cash.
84
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:37,164
I'm not answering that.
That's Mum.
85
00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,364
Smile nicely. Ha! Hey!
86
00:03:39,364 --> 00:03:40,884
Oh.
87
00:03:40,884 --> 00:03:42,804
Ah, she's phoning me now.
Don't answer it.
88
00:03:42,804 --> 00:03:45,244
Hello? Yes, Carol.
89
00:03:45,244 --> 00:03:47,004
Yeah. No, he is by his phone.
90
00:03:47,004 --> 00:03:48,924
He just didn't want to talk to YOU.
91
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,124
It was a joke, Carol.
92
00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:53,644
Yes, he's HERE!
93
00:03:53,644 --> 00:03:55,124
Here's Nanny!
94
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,644
Hi, Nan.
95
00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:02,324
Yeah, yeah. Right, right.
I loved it.
96
00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:05,964
It's just... Yeah, it's...
The present... It's just amazing.
97
00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:10,764
Yeah. I'm wearing my hat
for a picture for you and...
98
00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:13,124
You know that when I opened it,
I was just, like,
99
00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:14,804
"Cor! It's just so good!"
100
00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:17,524
Yeah.
101
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,244
Um.
102
00:04:19,244 --> 00:04:21,844
It's, like...
103
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,244
Oh.
104
00:04:27,124 --> 00:04:29,164
Babe? I'm sorry.
105
00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:31,524
I didn't mean it.
Don't be sorry for that.
106
00:04:31,524 --> 00:04:33,684
That's... I'm unbelievably
proud of you.
107
00:04:33,684 --> 00:04:36,484
That was good. That was quite good.
That was good, weren't it? I know.
108
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,164
That was really great.
109
00:04:38,164 --> 00:04:40,644
Don't hang up on her like that.
Oh, she's phoning again.
110
00:04:40,644 --> 00:04:42,844
Pass me some of that wrapping paper.
111
00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:44,404
Hiya, Carol.
112
00:04:44,404 --> 00:04:45,724
No, I can't.
113
00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:47,404
Can you not hear me at all?
114
00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:58,604
Hey, Mum?
115
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,444
What? We're a bit bored.
116
00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:03,364
I mean, have you tried wrapping
Denin up in some bog roll?
117
00:05:03,364 --> 00:05:05,684
Yeah, we've done that.
That's page one.
118
00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:09,124
I don't know, then. Do what normal
kids do - just wet toilet paper
119
00:05:09,124 --> 00:05:10,884
and just throw it at the ceiling.
120
00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:13,404
All right. God... Oh, God...
121
00:05:14,844 --> 00:05:16,244
Cheers, Mum.
122
00:05:33,284 --> 00:05:34,964
Ew, I saw that!
123
00:05:34,964 --> 00:05:36,324
That's disgusting!
124
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,924
Go on, then. Lucky dip.
125
00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,524
Gross! Shame on you!
126
00:05:48,444 --> 00:05:50,524
It was that one.
127
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,564
Oh, God.
128
00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:54,204
Oh, God, no!
129
00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:57,645
Get out!
130
00:05:57,645 --> 00:05:58,965
Get out now!
131
00:06:07,925 --> 00:06:09,525
Oh...
132
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,565
Nic? Is that you?
133
00:06:22,285 --> 00:06:23,805
Hi, Lucy.
134
00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:26,365
Are you all right in there?
It sounds very painful.
135
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,205
No, I'm fine!
136
00:06:28,205 --> 00:06:29,445
Everyone's arrived.
137
00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:31,045
OK, great!
138
00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,205
Yeah. Um, the kids are
getting a bit restless,
139
00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:35,645
so I think we should put
Ollie's film on now.
140
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,045
OK. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
141
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,765
Um, very quickly...
142
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,965
Yeah?
143
00:06:41,965 --> 00:06:44,405
Just while you're there,
I just wanted to ask your advice
144
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,245
on something very, very quickly.
145
00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:48,085
I'm thinking about signing up...
OK.
146
00:06:48,085 --> 00:06:50,245
Do you think we could
talk about this later?
147
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:53,125
Oh, OK! Do you want me to ask you
when you're done? Yeah, please.
148
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:56,525
Thanks!
Okey dokey. Good luck!
149
00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:16,885
Lucy, are you still there?
150
00:07:16,885 --> 00:07:19,365
Go! Please, go!
151
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:31,085
Oh, God!
152
00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:33,685
God!
153
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,805
"It's a boy!"
154
00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,045
Nic?
155
00:07:47,045 --> 00:07:49,445
Nic?
156
00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:51,005
What's wrong? What's happened?
157
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,365
I've got to stop shopping
when I'm pissed.
158
00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:55,525
Why am I like this?! Oh...
159
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,405
Oh, just shut up. You're amazing.
You know you are.
160
00:07:58,405 --> 00:07:59,725
Oh...
161
00:07:59,725 --> 00:08:03,005
I keep getting flashes of
something I said to you last night.
162
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,245
What do you mean?
163
00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:08,205
I can't remember quite what it was,
but I'm just...urrrrgh!
164
00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:10,045
What did I say to you? Ugh...
165
00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:13,165
You're just.... You're just going
to absolutely drive yourself mad...
166
00:08:13,165 --> 00:08:15,525
I know. ..with all this. OK?
I know, I know.
167
00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:16,965
That's why you're so messed up, OK?
168
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:19,045
Because you never talk to
anyone about it. I know!
169
00:08:19,045 --> 00:08:20,285
You hold it all in all the time.
170
00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:22,605
Jeez, Nic, you're just a human.
171
00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:25,805
We've all done shit, OK? Oh...
172
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,405
God... I would never,
ever tell anyone about it.
173
00:08:29,405 --> 00:08:31,045
You promise? I promise.
174
00:08:31,045 --> 00:08:33,885
You'd never say anything? I promise,
I would never. Oh, my God...
175
00:08:33,885 --> 00:08:38,045
It's not your fault, Nic.
None of it was your fault.
176
00:08:38,045 --> 00:08:41,085
I can't deal with this. You can,
you can, look. Come on, get up.
177
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,965
God, it's like a load of
rats have escaped from a lab!
178
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:46,205
They're like animals! I know!
179
00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:49,085
But, you know, you asked
for this, so, come on.
180
00:08:49,085 --> 00:08:50,645
Oh, God, right...
181
00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:52,245
..that's it.
182
00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,085
Everything hurts. I know, I know.
183
00:08:55,325 --> 00:08:56,485
Oh...
184
00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,605
Oh! What?
185
00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:03,045
I knew this was going to happen...
What?!
186
00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:05,525
..so I made a call.
187
00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:07,605
This is going to sort you right out.
188
00:09:07,605 --> 00:09:09,365
Please say it's drugs.
189
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,565
Ollie! Ollie!
190
00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:20,165
Oh...! Really good.
191
00:09:20,165 --> 00:09:22,725
His mind is, whoa.
192
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:25,005
He's very clever.
I tell you what we should do.
193
00:09:25,005 --> 00:09:27,205
We should go on a girls' trip,
we should do a spa day.
194
00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:28,525
Spa day! Spa day!
195
00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:30,045
Girls, girls, shush.
196
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:32,645
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sh!
197
00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,325
Girls' trip, do a spa day.
198
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:35,805
Yeah! Bath Spa!
199
00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,045
I tell you what as well.
200
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:39,525
Why don't we go to this
brilliant Greek restaurant
201
00:09:39,525 --> 00:09:41,485
where they do the...
202
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,845
You know, the spinning round thing?
They smash the plate.
203
00:09:43,845 --> 00:09:46,485
Girls' trip, Bath Spa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!
204
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,325
And leave the grumpy old
git at home.
205
00:09:52,005 --> 00:09:53,605
Ready?
206
00:09:53,605 --> 00:09:55,365
Three, two, one.
207
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:56,725
Boom.
208
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,445
Go, go!
209
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,725
You all right? What you doing?
Nothing.
210
00:10:06,645 --> 00:10:09,005
Ugh... Who's that?
211
00:10:09,005 --> 00:10:11,365
Who's ringing? I don't know.
What's the time?
212
00:10:11,365 --> 00:10:14,485
Everyone got picked up
from the party, didn't they?
213
00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:15,805
How should I know?!
214
00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:17,325
It was your party, mate.
215
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,245
Hey!
Hey!
216
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:21,685
It's Suze. Oh, Suze! Hey!
217
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,645
Hey, how you doing, buddy?
218
00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:27,725
Hey. Hello, Auntie Suze.
219
00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:29,765
Nice to see you! You too!
220
00:10:29,765 --> 00:10:33,365
OK. So, I know I'm the absolute
worst because I missed your party,
221
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:37,765
but I have got you
the most awesome present.
222
00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:39,805
Thank you. Can I
get you a drink, Suze?
223
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,885
Uh... No, I can't stay long, sorry.
224
00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,885
So, I know this is a bit niche,
225
00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:46,125
but I had these especially made
226
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,125
just for you.
227
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,765
Wait... Oh, my God!
228
00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:52,365
What is it? What is it?
229
00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:55,725
It's the...the... Remember the
stop-motion thing we saw on telly?
230
00:10:55,725 --> 00:10:58,165
Yeah. It's that!
Yeah, they're Claymation figures.
231
00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:01,125
They've got wires in them so you can
bend them whichever way you want.
232
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:04,125
I can't get you a glass of wine?
I can't stay, honestly. Sorry.
233
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,805
Actually, listen, I've been thinking
about...
234
00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:11,285
..Alex's anniversary. Oh, yeah.
235
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:16,485
And I thought maybe we could get
a memorial seat at Old Trafford.
236
00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:19,125
That's a great idea.
Yeah? OK, cool.
237
00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,365
It's, like, a couple
thousand for the plaque.
238
00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:22,965
Well, that's fine. I can chip in.
239
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:25,445
Weirdly, we were talking about
maybe putting some money...
240
00:11:25,445 --> 00:11:27,845
They've given me a map of
the different seats available.
241
00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:30,525
..behind the bar at his favourite
pub. I don't know anything about
242
00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:32,525
football, so I thought
maybe you could choose.
243
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,765
Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.
244
00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:35,405
Yeah? What should
I get on the plaque?
245
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:37,805
Um... It's no swearing.
They're a bit weird about it, so...
246
00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:40,605
Yeah, I'll think of something, yeah.
Like a nickname or something?
247
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,725
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he had a load of them.
248
00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:45,965
Yeah, that's nice. That's lovely.
Yeah.
249
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:47,925
Cool. Great.
250
00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:50,365
Right, I've got to go,
I've got to go. Sorry.
251
00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:53,205
I've got to go to this boring dinner
and wonder why the guy playing
252
00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:55,245
opposite me is on twice
as much as I am. Yay!
253
00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,565
Oh, God, yes. Ooh, um...
Thank you!
254
00:11:57,565 --> 00:12:00,125
Happy birthday. Oh...
Thanks, Auntie Suze.
255
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:02,605
Oh, that's great. That's great.
I've got to go. I'm sorry.
256
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:05,485
Bye, Auntie Suze. Love you! Bye-bye.
Love you. Bye-bye, Bye-bye.
257
00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:08,285
Oh, God, we must go
for that coffee, Sue.
258
00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,845
When you used to
hang out with him,
259
00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:18,965
you made me so uncomfortable.
260
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,925
I'm going to go to bed, I think.
261
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,005
OK.
262
00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:41,245
Night, Mum. Night.
263
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:15,485
Who's ready to
hear the sock story?
264
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:18,165
So, as most of you
will probably know...
265
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,085
It's 20 to three, Dan.
266
00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:26,885
And what did she see?
267
00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:31,005
She saw a 14-year-old
Dan furiously,
268
00:13:31,005 --> 00:13:35,445
furiously giving it to
his favourite football sock.
269
00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:36,805
Come to bed, Dan.
270
00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:38,245
Yeah, I'm coming to bed.
271
00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:39,405
In a bit, yeah.
272
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:40,685
This was just around the time
273
00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:42,645
he got made captain of
the school football team.
274
00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:44,845
What kind of disgusting
power trip was this?
275
00:13:46,565 --> 00:13:48,725
So, I went to the
same school as Dan,
276
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:51,885
and I made it my business
to tell the entire school.
277
00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:55,845
And by lunchtime, I get pulled
into the headmaster's office,
278
00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:58,125
and he says to me, "Alex..."
279
00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,325
You never told me
what you actually saw. Dan...!
280
00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,445
I've got an image of it in my head,
281
00:14:04,445 --> 00:14:06,405
and I just need to know
if it was better or worse.
282
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,005
It was quick.
283
00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,525
That's it. That's
all you need to know.
284
00:14:10,525 --> 00:14:13,685
I know I'm making this about me.
I know you loved him too. I'm sorry.
285
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:16,245
An exploration
into the groom's proudest
286
00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:18,965
and funniest moments
by way of a gentle roast.
287
00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:20,765
Who's that? Who's that boy?
288
00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,485
It's a cousin, isn't it?
289
00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:24,205
And that girl.
290
00:14:33,325 --> 00:14:35,365
Come to bed. Come on.
291
00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:39,365
I just want to understand
why you didn't...
292
00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:41,925
I'm not doing all of this.
Come to bed.
293
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:44,645
# If you walk into his room,
294
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:46,365
# You will get a shock... #
Everyone!
295
00:14:46,365 --> 00:14:50,245
# Dan, Dan, Dan the perve,
wanked into a sock
296
00:14:50,245 --> 00:14:53,925
# If you walk into this room,
you will get a shock. #
297
00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,205
Again!
298
00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:00,645
Oh, I love it!
299
00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:02,485
Wow, reverse!
300
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,125
Really good, Ollie.
301
00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:09,165
Oh, no... What?
302
00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,445
She's booked the Greek restaurant.
303
00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:13,085
No! Yes!
304
00:15:13,085 --> 00:15:16,085
And she's sent a gif of
a plate being smashed.
305
00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:18,525
Oh, God, no! Yeah!
306
00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:21,205
Oh, my God, how are we
going to get out of this?
307
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:24,165
I don't know!
Oh, God!
308
00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,605
Oh, God, is that her?
309
00:15:28,605 --> 00:15:29,885
Hello?
310
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,245
Oh, yes.
Yeah, speaking.
311
00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:33,445
Oh, my goodness.
312
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,525
Yeah. Where did you find him?
313
00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,085
Yeah, I can come now.
314
00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:41,845
Where's my bloody coat?
315
00:15:52,045 --> 00:15:53,925
You all right up there, boys?
316
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:56,885
What's so funny?
317
00:16:01,965 --> 00:16:03,765
Oh, shit.
318
00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:08,645
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
319
00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,045
Anyone in? Nic?
320
00:16:20,925 --> 00:16:23,165
Always leaving the bloody TV on.
321
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,645
There's an energy crisis going on!
322
00:16:45,445 --> 00:16:47,645
Oh, hi. Oh, hey!
323
00:16:47,645 --> 00:16:50,525
Oh, I am so sorry to keep
you waiting. Oh, that's OK.
324
00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:53,765
I think someone's going
to be very happy to see you!
325
00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,925
Oh, my God!
326
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:59,805
Oh, Mr Meowgi! Oh, my gosh!
Hello, mate!
327
00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:01,365
"Hello, Mummy!"
328
00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:04,045
Aw, Ollie's going to be so relieved.
329
00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:06,165
He's been good as gold.
Oh... Mm-hm.
330
00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:07,725
He's lost a bit of weight.
331
00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:10,565
Yeah, he was very, very
hungry when he came in.
332
00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:12,125
Very hungry.
333
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:14,245
Watch out for his claws!
334
00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:16,845
God, you nasty...
335
00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,365
That's it, fella.
336
00:17:18,365 --> 00:17:21,045
I'm just going to get
you to go in here.
337
00:17:21,045 --> 00:17:22,445
That's it.
338
00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:24,605
Careful of the tail! Yes!
339
00:17:24,605 --> 00:17:27,165
Just put your arse in.
Thank you.
340
00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:28,485
Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
341
00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:37,606
All right...
342
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:40,246
Found Mr Meowgi! Mum...
343
00:17:40,246 --> 00:17:41,726
Ollie! Mum.
344
00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:45,206
What's happened?
345
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,606
Do you want to tell her, or shall I?
346
00:17:50,606 --> 00:17:52,486
Do you want to...?
347
00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:57,166
These two have just spent
45 minutes tormenting me.
348
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,006
What have you done?
349
00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:03,126
Well, it was my idea
to use the Fart Blaster.
350
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,286
Sorry, what's a Fart Blaster?
That.
351
00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:08,006
THAT is a Fart Blaster.
352
00:18:14,406 --> 00:18:16,206
What did you do in this?
353
00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:21,046
It was my idea to
use the surround sound.
354
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,526
Can you imagine what that...
355
00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:25,206
..is like?
356
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:28,166
365 degrees, just everywhere.
357
00:18:31,966 --> 00:18:33,686
I'm so sorry.
358
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,326
I can't imagine... No.
359
00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:40,886
Would you boys...
360
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,686
..like to say sorry to Viv?
361
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,606
I'm sorry we scared you.
362
00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,846
Um, well...
363
00:18:46,846 --> 00:18:48,526
We were just having a laugh.
364
00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:50,326
That's not an apology, is it?
365
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,126
No. Mm-hm.
366
00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:54,046
What do you say?
Sorry, Viv.
367
00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:56,406
Because what must have
that been like for you?
368
00:18:56,406 --> 00:18:58,006
That was absolutely...
369
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,166
It was one of the worst
experiences of my life.
370
00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,886
It was traumatising.
Yeah.
371
00:19:01,886 --> 00:19:04,486
OK, I don't want to be too
vulnerable in front of the children.
372
00:19:04,486 --> 00:19:06,326
I know. I'm so sorry.
373
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:09,566
No cleaning's been done,
so I'm sorry about that.
374
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,086
Do you know what? I don't blame you.
375
00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,806
Imagine you in that situation. I'd
be just as terrified as you were.
376
00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:17,766
Could you do cleaning with
THAT in your whole system?
377
00:19:17,766 --> 00:19:20,606
Are you going to be all right
to drive? Well, I don't know.
378
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,006
Would you be?
379
00:19:22,006 --> 00:19:24,806
Well, I mean, it was
sort of only farts.
380
00:19:24,806 --> 00:19:27,166
All right, I guess
I'll go, then, shall I?
381
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,766
To you, it was only farts.
382
00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:30,766
It was A LOT MORE than that to me.
383
00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:33,006
Though...
384
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:37,326
I tell you what, though,
I would not wish that on anyone.
385
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,006
Not even Katie Hopkins.
386
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,886
So, anyway, hi, Ollie, I'm home!
387
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,166
Ta-da! Who's that?
388
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:55,086
What do you mean, who is it?
It's Mr Meowgi.
389
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,886
Wow.
390
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:01,326
All right, come on, Harry.
391
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:03,526
Ollie! Ollie!
Yeah?
392
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:08,766
Thank you, Mother!
393
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:11,686
It's... It's cool.
394
00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:15,646
Come on, Harry, let's go to
the shed, it's boring in here.
395
00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:17,806
Sorry, mate.
396
00:20:17,806 --> 00:20:20,846
I'm glad you're home, even if
Ollie couldn't give a shit.
397
00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,966
You all right, mate?
Where have you been?
398
00:20:22,966 --> 00:20:24,846
Sorry, just been on
the phone to my mum.
399
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:27,726
Had to hang up, like, eight times.
She just wouldn't shut up.
400
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,406
Found the cat. Oh, nice!
401
00:20:29,406 --> 00:20:32,486
Ollie wasn't bothered.
He wasn't? No, not at all.
402
00:20:32,486 --> 00:20:35,166
Where've they gone? They've gone
out to the shed, have they? Yeah.
403
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,006
What's... What's this doing out?
404
00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:41,446
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe the kids got it out.
405
00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:43,806
Who put this on?
Nice, I don't know...
406
00:20:43,806 --> 00:20:46,046
Who put it on?!
I don't know. Are you OK?
407
00:20:47,726 --> 00:20:49,766
What's wrong?
408
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:51,006
That's him.
409
00:20:51,006 --> 00:20:52,406
Who's him?
410
00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:55,846
That's HIM?
411
00:20:57,366 --> 00:20:58,606
Oh, mate...
412
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,206
So hello.
413
00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:02,766
This is the recipes.
414
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:05,926
For those of you who
don't know me, I am Alex.
415
00:21:05,926 --> 00:21:08,646
I am Dan's younger,
better looking brother.
416
00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,006
Right, Nic?
417
00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:11,646
Oh, fuck.
418
00:21:13,046 --> 00:21:14,766
Yikes.
419
00:21:16,126 --> 00:21:18,446
But you can roll it in glitter
and, ladies and gentlemen,
420
00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:20,206
isn't my brother sparkling today?
421
00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:22,006
Give him a round of applause.
422
00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:24,046
God, he hated that tie.
423
00:21:26,726 --> 00:21:30,406
You know, I've never been able to
watch this all the way through.
424
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,166
Why not?
425
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:36,686
Cos it all fucking started
on my wedding day.
426
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,406
..trod dog shit all into the carpets
427
00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:40,646
on the first day
he had his first car.
428
00:21:45,446 --> 00:21:47,566
Stop! It's so fun! Stop it!
429
00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:51,326
Oh, for God's sake. Oh...
430
00:21:51,326 --> 00:21:53,646
The suits are good.
Oh, you think?
431
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,246
Yeah, I'm surprised.
What do you mean, you're surprised?
432
00:21:56,246 --> 00:21:58,366
Suits never fit me,
especially when they're hired.
433
00:21:58,366 --> 00:22:00,366
Moss Bros!
Yeah, it looks good on the botty.
434
00:22:00,366 --> 00:22:02,166
Yeah, it does.
Still enough space to...
435
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,406
..cut the rug later.
436
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,406
Don't! For God's sake!
437
00:22:06,406 --> 00:22:08,806
Just had a champagne with Mum.
Oh, no...
438
00:22:08,806 --> 00:22:11,126
She went to the general
manager of the hotel...
439
00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:13,926
Right, right.
..to specifically ask... Yeah?
440
00:22:13,926 --> 00:22:16,846
..that no-one disturb her
while she practises the song.
441
00:22:16,846 --> 00:22:18,646
Oh, God... Oh...
442
00:22:18,646 --> 00:22:20,766
She's insane. Ugh!
443
00:22:22,246 --> 00:22:24,846
Um... Are you all right?
Are you OK? Yeah.
444
00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:29,126
Oh, God. Don't, you're
scaring me! What is it?
445
00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:31,686
If I don't say, I'm never
going to say it. Um...
446
00:22:31,686 --> 00:22:34,006
I just wanted to say that...
447
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,206
..I think you're amazing...
448
00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:40,486
..and I think I'm in love with you.
449
00:22:41,766 --> 00:22:44,926
Babe, I'm so sorry!
I couldn't find anywhere to park.
450
00:22:44,926 --> 00:22:46,726
There were no spaces at all,
451
00:22:46,726 --> 00:22:49,086
so I had to go and park
in the bloody golf club
452
00:22:49,086 --> 00:22:51,086
and lug all of this
stuff from over there.
453
00:22:51,086 --> 00:22:53,686
Oh... Can you imagine?
No. What a blooming nightmare.
454
00:22:53,686 --> 00:22:56,166
I mean, how can a place
like this, of this scale,
455
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,686
have such a small bloody car park?
456
00:22:57,686 --> 00:22:59,486
I have no idea.
Make it make sense.
457
00:22:59,486 --> 00:23:01,886
Can we make it make sense,
please?! No, I don't...
458
00:23:01,886 --> 00:23:03,886
Oh, gosh. The day!
459
00:23:03,886 --> 00:23:05,766
My boyfriend was up all
night, yeah? Yeah?
460
00:23:05,766 --> 00:23:07,846
My boyfriend was up all night
being sick. Oh...
461
00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:10,286
Well, from every angle, really -
from the front and the back.
462
00:23:10,286 --> 00:23:13,966
Because I gave him a fish pie
that I made on Monday on Saturday.
463
00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,446
Because this bitch, he saw
me in my new Givenchy coat,
464
00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,366
and he said to me that I look like
a character out of the Muppets.
465
00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:20,726
Oh... That's...
466
00:23:20,726 --> 00:23:23,326
That coat is beautiful. Yeah?
Very beautiful.
467
00:23:23,326 --> 00:23:26,246
And I know, I know I shouldn't have
given him that fish pie,
468
00:23:26,246 --> 00:23:29,446
but he hurt me. And when that fool
used to walk around town dressing
469
00:23:29,446 --> 00:23:32,246
like he was in the Peaky Blinders,
did I say anything? No.
470
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,886
No, I didn't, because I knew
it would destroy him. Yeah.
471
00:23:34,886 --> 00:23:37,806
Anyway, anyway, are we, are we,
are we excited about today?
472
00:23:37,806 --> 00:23:39,766
Yes! Sorry! This is Alex.
Alex.
473
00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:42,166
Jesus. Alex, this is Jesus.
Lovely to meet you, Alex.
474
00:23:42,166 --> 00:23:44,046
Sorry, Jesus? Jesus, yes.
475
00:23:44,046 --> 00:23:47,446
Um, babe, could you get me
a coffee, by any chance?
476
00:23:47,446 --> 00:23:50,166
Yes, Jesus. Um...
How do you take it?
477
00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,446
Cappuccino, please. No sugar.
478
00:23:54,006 --> 00:23:56,446
Um.... It's a hotel, so there's
only instant in the rooms.
479
00:23:56,446 --> 00:23:58,486
Don't they do cappuccinos
at the bar downstairs?
480
00:23:58,486 --> 00:24:00,566
Yeah. Mm-hm? Brilliant.
Thank you very much.
481
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:02,646
Do you want the
chocolate dust on the top?
482
00:24:02,646 --> 00:24:04,566
Everything, please.
Give me it all.
483
00:24:06,286 --> 00:24:08,326
OK, he's a little bit sexy.
484
00:24:08,326 --> 00:24:10,606
Mm-hm. I would like a
bit of that, please.
485
00:24:10,606 --> 00:24:12,686
Yeah? Oh, I like him a lot.
486
00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,686
I'm very happy for you,
you're in a good place.
487
00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:17,326
But isn't it bad luck to see
the groom before you get married?
488
00:24:17,326 --> 00:24:19,006
Sorry, he's not the groom.
489
00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,526
Absolutely not the groom.
490
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,966
Right... Sorry, he's not.
491
00:24:21,966 --> 00:24:24,326
Um... Has anything changed
since the consultation?
492
00:24:24,326 --> 00:24:25,606
You're still happy with...?
493
00:24:25,606 --> 00:24:27,486
I was just wondering, possibly,
494
00:24:27,486 --> 00:24:30,366
if I could have sort of shorter
lashes, if that was possible?
495
00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:32,566
No. No? No, babe,
I really wouldn't know.
496
00:24:32,566 --> 00:24:35,166
No, you need to trust me. Shorter
lashes do not photograph well.
497
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,246
OK. Could we go a bit neutral
on the lips, possibly?
498
00:24:37,246 --> 00:24:39,766
No, I don't think so.
No? OK. Yep. Stick with the plan.
499
00:24:39,766 --> 00:24:41,806
All right, let me get
started with your base.
500
00:24:43,246 --> 00:24:46,206
I'm sorry, but your
flower girl is a prick. Oh, I know.
501
00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:49,446
I know she's only six but, my God,
she's a massive prick! I know!
502
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:52,246
And guess who organised
that one! Wonderful Carol.
503
00:24:52,246 --> 00:24:54,126
Please don't make
me go back out there.
504
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,886
No, no, no, don't go back out there.
505
00:24:55,886 --> 00:24:59,566
Carol, made me, FORCED me,
by the way, to have her. Ugh!
506
00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,686
Have you seen
your mother-in-law yet?
507
00:25:01,686 --> 00:25:03,166
Oh, God, no.
508
00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,766
She's a piece of work too!
509
00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,446
If I started stabbing her,
I would just never stop stabbing.
510
00:25:07,446 --> 00:25:08,966
God, it's like she can't handle that
511
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:11,046
you'll be, like, the centre
of attention today.
512
00:25:11,046 --> 00:25:13,526
She can't handle anybody
being the centre of attention.
513
00:25:13,526 --> 00:25:15,046
And she tried to
palm Ollie off to me.
514
00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:16,486
Hi, Carol!
515
00:25:16,486 --> 00:25:18,566
Oh, Suzie! There you are!
516
00:25:18,566 --> 00:25:20,206
Hi, Carol!
517
00:25:20,206 --> 00:25:23,286
You couldn't just take him for
a couple of seconds, could you?
518
00:25:23,286 --> 00:25:25,206
I'm sorry, I can't.
519
00:25:26,286 --> 00:25:28,046
Nicola? Yeah?
520
00:25:28,046 --> 00:25:30,206
Please could you take
him for a minute?
521
00:25:30,206 --> 00:25:32,246
Oh, just...
I've still got to get ready.
522
00:25:32,246 --> 00:25:33,886
I'm just getting
ready for my wedding.
523
00:25:33,886 --> 00:25:35,686
But he just wants you.
524
00:25:35,686 --> 00:25:38,086
He's just a bit tired, Carol.
525
00:25:38,086 --> 00:25:41,046
Are you still all right to do me
afterwards? Yeah, we're good.
526
00:25:41,046 --> 00:25:42,846
Am I paying for that? No.
527
00:25:42,846 --> 00:25:45,046
No, I know, you just want
your mummy, don't you?
528
00:25:45,046 --> 00:25:47,006
Hey, cappuccino.
529
00:25:47,006 --> 00:25:49,246
Oh, we are here!
Thank you, baby!
530
00:25:51,126 --> 00:25:52,486
Are you good?
531
00:25:53,446 --> 00:25:55,366
Hey, what's wrong, big man?
Why are you crying?
532
00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:57,686
Oh, he just wants his mummy!
Why are you crying?
533
00:25:57,686 --> 00:25:59,326
Silly Nana.
Mummy's getting married.
534
00:25:59,326 --> 00:26:01,566
Oh... Come on. Come on, mate.
535
00:26:01,566 --> 00:26:03,326
Let's go check the United score.
536
00:26:03,326 --> 00:26:05,686
Say, "Bye, Mummy. Love you.
Love you lots."
537
00:26:05,686 --> 00:26:06,846
Thank you.
538
00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:08,966
You're not going to be
much longer, are you?
539
00:26:08,966 --> 00:26:11,126
No... Mum, give Nic
some space, yeah?
540
00:26:11,126 --> 00:26:13,326
All right!
Yeah. Come on.
541
00:26:13,326 --> 00:26:15,006
I got you, I got you.
542
00:26:24,606 --> 00:26:26,366
Did you notice that?
543
00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:28,046
What? Alex.
544
00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:30,406
What about Alex?
545
00:26:30,406 --> 00:26:32,686
He's pulling away
from me.
546
00:26:32,686 --> 00:26:34,486
Really? Yes,
I can feel it.
547
00:26:34,486 --> 00:26:36,806
He's giving me that vibe,
like, the last couple of weeks.
548
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:39,406
Really? Yes! No... You
know when you just know?
549
00:26:39,406 --> 00:26:40,926
Oh, my God, no, no,
no, no. Yes!
550
00:26:40,926 --> 00:26:42,486
I didn't see your man.
551
00:26:42,486 --> 00:26:45,566
What's he like? Tell me about him.
He's... Uh, Dan?
552
00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:48,486
Um... He's very reliable
and sort of... Fantastic.
553
00:26:48,486 --> 00:26:50,886
..like an A4 envelope, I suppose.
554
00:26:50,886 --> 00:26:53,206
Cos you've got a lot of sauce,
I thought you need someone
555
00:26:53,206 --> 00:26:55,286
that's going to be
quite sturdy in that way.
556
00:26:55,286 --> 00:26:57,926
I saw him earlier and
he was grinning from ear to ear.
557
00:26:57,926 --> 00:27:00,846
Really? Yeah. He looked
like a right dickhead.
558
00:27:00,846 --> 00:27:04,286
Dan, you always did well at school.
You were brilliant at football.
559
00:27:04,286 --> 00:27:05,806
You took over the business from Dad
560
00:27:05,806 --> 00:27:08,046
and you've absolutely
smashed that as well.
561
00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,206
You excel at everything
you put your mind to, Dan.
562
00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:12,126
And, of course, as
your little brother,
563
00:27:12,126 --> 00:27:14,246
I did get jealous
every now and then.
564
00:27:14,246 --> 00:27:16,406
And then Dan met Nic and I thought,
565
00:27:16,406 --> 00:27:18,086
"Holy shit, he's done it.
566
00:27:18,086 --> 00:27:19,566
"He's found the one."
567
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,566
He's found a unicorn,
568
00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:26,646
a woman so funny she can
make you cry with laughter.
569
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:30,566
So witty and smart she
can tie us all in knots.
570
00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,886
So beautiful - and I'm
sure you'll all agree -
571
00:27:32,886 --> 00:27:35,246
that today she took
all of our breath away.
572
00:27:39,086 --> 00:27:41,126
And you will never
find a better mother.
573
00:27:42,646 --> 00:27:44,166
That's a round of applause, guys.
574
00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,086
That's your cue for the
round of applause.
575
00:27:47,606 --> 00:27:50,606
But most importantly, she is
really good at telling Dan
576
00:27:50,606 --> 00:27:53,086
when he's being a massive bellend.
577
00:27:55,126 --> 00:27:57,486
Dan, I love you.
578
00:27:57,486 --> 00:28:00,206
Nic, I love you.
579
00:28:02,086 --> 00:28:05,606
# She stands before the mirror
580
00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:08,846
# Smiles at her reflection
581
00:28:08,846 --> 00:28:12,486
# Striking sexy poses in the glass
582
00:28:14,606 --> 00:28:17,366
# She paints her lips
a brilliant red
583
00:28:17,366 --> 00:28:20,686
# Piles her hair high on her head
584
00:28:20,686 --> 00:28:24,606
# Struggles to replace
a false eyelash
585
00:28:27,126 --> 00:28:29,566
# And all at once inside her mind
586
00:28:29,566 --> 00:28:32,406
# She sees him at the door
587
00:28:32,406 --> 00:28:36,166
# And as he's leading her away
588
00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:39,446
# She feels the room begin to sway
589
00:28:39,446 --> 00:28:42,966
# Where beauty lives in memory
590
00:28:42,966 --> 00:28:46,966
# She falls dead upon the floor
591
00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:53,446
# Mirror, mirror on the wall
592
00:28:53,446 --> 00:28:58,046
# Who's the fairest of them all? #
593
00:28:58,096 --> 00:29:02,646
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
43751
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.