All language subtitles for Am I Being Unreasonable s01e02.engg

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:09,724 Nic. Jen. You're great. I try. 2 00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,884 I've lost my cat, got a distraught son... 3 00:00:11,884 --> 00:00:14,244 Mum, come on. We're going to be late again! 4 00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:16,324 Well, we should celebrate. Yes. 5 00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:17,884 You know. There's vibes. 6 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,164 Dan, this is Jen. Jen, this is Dan. 7 00:00:20,164 --> 00:00:21,684 Jen. Nice to meet you. Dan. 8 00:00:21,684 --> 00:00:23,124 I've got to be really good tonight 9 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,084 cos it's Ollie's birthday tomorrow morning. 10 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,684 Yeah. Opa! Opa! 11 00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:29,724 It was like my twin flame. 12 00:00:29,724 --> 00:00:31,484 What? With... Not with him. 13 00:00:31,484 --> 00:00:33,004 With a guy called Alex. 14 00:00:33,004 --> 00:00:35,124 Did you just break up, or...? 15 00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,764 Oh, God. 16 00:00:48,444 --> 00:00:50,444 God! 17 00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,924 To the good times! 18 00:00:53,924 --> 00:00:55,804 Why do you drink? Why do you do it to yourself? 19 00:00:55,804 --> 00:00:57,724 Why do you keep making the same mistake, Nic? 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,084 Hmm? Hmm? 21 00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,924 I'm stuck. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't have a job. 22 00:01:01,924 --> 00:01:04,524 But I don't understand. If you're not happy with Dan, 23 00:01:04,524 --> 00:01:06,244 why can't you leave now? 24 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,804 You opened them. Mm? 25 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,164 You opened them without me. 26 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,844 Yeah, cos you were fast asleep and he wanted to crack on. 27 00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:24,604 So, sorry. 28 00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:27,124 Yeah. I mean, when you were asleep, to be honest, 29 00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,724 you looked like you were dead. 30 00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:31,164 You were dribbling and everything. It was horrific. 31 00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:32,684 Was I? Yeah. Yeah. 32 00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:35,764 It's actually quite sad. Oh, God. 33 00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:37,804 I can't believe I had that much to drink. 34 00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:39,204 Really? 35 00:01:39,204 --> 00:01:43,404 Look, I was battered and I was singing Fresh Prince, the rap, 36 00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,364 so I've lost my voice. Really? 37 00:01:45,364 --> 00:01:46,884 Well, I didn't do it on purpose. 38 00:01:46,884 --> 00:01:49,164 I've organised all of this. I know, I know. 39 00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:51,524 And Jen just kept topping me up, and topping me up, 40 00:01:51,524 --> 00:01:53,484 and topping me up, and topping me up. Yeah. 41 00:01:53,484 --> 00:01:56,324 Was it her idea to get the port? 42 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,924 She get that out, did she, the port? 43 00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,564 What? That bottle of port's from four Christmases ago, Nic, 44 00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:02,884 I'm surprised you woke up. 45 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:06,764 You had a lot to chat about, then. 46 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,204 Where is Jen? She's gone. 47 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,244 Thought she was staying the night? 48 00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:18,204 Yeah, but Harry couldn't sleep, so she had to take him back. 49 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,764 When? Dunno. Just in the night. 50 00:02:20,764 --> 00:02:22,444 Oh. 51 00:02:22,444 --> 00:02:25,084 Well, did he like his camera? 52 00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:27,124 Yeah, I think so. Did you? 53 00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,364 Me, what, huh? Do you like your camera? 54 00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:31,004 I spent ages choosing that, lad. 55 00:02:31,004 --> 00:02:32,764 Er, yeah. 56 00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:35,644 Yeah, I mean, like, when I, 57 00:02:35,644 --> 00:02:38,484 like, when I opened the box, I was just, like, 58 00:02:38,484 --> 00:02:39,884 "Pfff, whoa." 59 00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:42,284 We're getting you cash as well. Yeah, cash is nice. 60 00:02:42,284 --> 00:02:44,524 Have you taken a picture with the hat that your mum sent? 61 00:02:44,524 --> 00:02:46,764 No. Well, no, cos he's in his pyjamas. Oh, what, you... 62 00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:49,324 Well, she's going to be on my case otherwise. 63 00:02:49,324 --> 00:02:50,764 What else did she get you? 64 00:02:50,764 --> 00:02:53,164 Duplo. Are you kidding? 65 00:02:53,164 --> 00:02:56,364 Nope. Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. Two-plus. 66 00:02:56,364 --> 00:02:58,004 I mean, does she know how old you are? 67 00:02:58,004 --> 00:03:00,124 Obviously not. This is for infants. 68 00:03:00,124 --> 00:03:01,564 Christ Almighty. 69 00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:03,604 Right. I'm not wearing that. 70 00:03:03,604 --> 00:03:04,764 Nic? No. Yes. 71 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,684 You haven't said "happy birthday" to him yet. 72 00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:08,884 Yes, I have! No, you haven't. Do I get... Have I not? No. 73 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,284 Oh, happy birthday, mate. 74 00:03:11,284 --> 00:03:14,364 Ugh! Mum! Just stand there with that. 75 00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,844 Quick. Please, mate. Quick. Come on. 76 00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:19,684 Right, stay there. Hang on a sec. OK. 77 00:03:21,004 --> 00:03:23,684 The lighting's not right. You have to go over here. Go over there. 78 00:03:23,684 --> 00:03:26,204 No, Mum. Come on. Chop, chop, chop, chop. I don't want to do it. 79 00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:28,964 Come on, come on. You want that money in your building society, 80 00:03:28,964 --> 00:03:31,284 mate, you better earn it. OK. Right, OK. 81 00:03:31,284 --> 00:03:32,964 Smile. 82 00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:34,244 Just do it nicely. 83 00:03:34,244 --> 00:03:35,564 Imagine that's a load of cash. 84 00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:37,164 I'm not answering that. That's Mum. 85 00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,364 Smile nicely. Ha! Hey! 86 00:03:39,364 --> 00:03:40,884 Oh. 87 00:03:40,884 --> 00:03:42,804 Ah, she's phoning me now. Don't answer it. 88 00:03:42,804 --> 00:03:45,244 Hello? Yes, Carol. 89 00:03:45,244 --> 00:03:47,004 Yeah. No, he is by his phone. 90 00:03:47,004 --> 00:03:48,924 He just didn't want to talk to YOU. 91 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,124 It was a joke, Carol. 92 00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:53,644 Yes, he's HERE! 93 00:03:53,644 --> 00:03:55,124 Here's Nanny! 94 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,644 Hi, Nan. 95 00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:02,324 Yeah, yeah. Right, right. I loved it. 96 00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:05,964 It's just... Yeah, it's... The present... It's just amazing. 97 00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:10,764 Yeah. I'm wearing my hat for a picture for you and... 98 00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:13,124 You know that when I opened it, I was just, like, 99 00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:14,804 "Cor! It's just so good!" 100 00:04:16,044 --> 00:04:17,524 Yeah. 101 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,244 Um. 102 00:04:19,244 --> 00:04:21,844 It's, like... 103 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,244 Oh. 104 00:04:27,124 --> 00:04:29,164 Babe? I'm sorry. 105 00:04:29,164 --> 00:04:31,524 I didn't mean it. Don't be sorry for that. 106 00:04:31,524 --> 00:04:33,684 That's... I'm unbelievably proud of you. 107 00:04:33,684 --> 00:04:36,484 That was good. That was quite good. That was good, weren't it? I know. 108 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,164 That was really great. 109 00:04:38,164 --> 00:04:40,644 Don't hang up on her like that. Oh, she's phoning again. 110 00:04:40,644 --> 00:04:42,844 Pass me some of that wrapping paper. 111 00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:44,404 Hiya, Carol. 112 00:04:44,404 --> 00:04:45,724 No, I can't. 113 00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:47,404 Can you not hear me at all? 114 00:04:57,044 --> 00:04:58,604 Hey, Mum? 115 00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,444 What? We're a bit bored. 116 00:05:00,444 --> 00:05:03,364 I mean, have you tried wrapping Denin up in some bog roll? 117 00:05:03,364 --> 00:05:05,684 Yeah, we've done that. That's page one. 118 00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:09,124 I don't know, then. Do what normal kids do - just wet toilet paper 119 00:05:09,124 --> 00:05:10,884 and just throw it at the ceiling. 120 00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:13,404 All right. God... Oh, God... 121 00:05:14,844 --> 00:05:16,244 Cheers, Mum. 122 00:05:33,284 --> 00:05:34,964 Ew, I saw that! 123 00:05:34,964 --> 00:05:36,324 That's disgusting! 124 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,924 Go on, then. Lucky dip. 125 00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,524 Gross! Shame on you! 126 00:05:48,444 --> 00:05:50,524 It was that one. 127 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,564 Oh, God. 128 00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:54,204 Oh, God, no! 129 00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:57,645 Get out! 130 00:05:57,645 --> 00:05:58,965 Get out now! 131 00:06:07,925 --> 00:06:09,525 Oh... 132 00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,565 Nic? Is that you? 133 00:06:22,285 --> 00:06:23,805 Hi, Lucy. 134 00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:26,365 Are you all right in there? It sounds very painful. 135 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,205 No, I'm fine! 136 00:06:28,205 --> 00:06:29,445 Everyone's arrived. 137 00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:31,045 OK, great! 138 00:06:31,045 --> 00:06:33,205 Yeah. Um, the kids are getting a bit restless, 139 00:06:33,205 --> 00:06:35,645 so I think we should put Ollie's film on now. 140 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,045 OK. Yep, yep, yep, yep. 141 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,765 Um, very quickly... 142 00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,965 Yeah? 143 00:06:41,965 --> 00:06:44,405 Just while you're there, I just wanted to ask your advice 144 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,245 on something very, very quickly. 145 00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:48,085 I'm thinking about signing up... OK. 146 00:06:48,085 --> 00:06:50,245 Do you think we could talk about this later? 147 00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:53,125 Oh, OK! Do you want me to ask you when you're done? Yeah, please. 148 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:56,525 Thanks! Okey dokey. Good luck! 149 00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:16,885 Lucy, are you still there? 150 00:07:16,885 --> 00:07:19,365 Go! Please, go! 151 00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:31,085 Oh, God! 152 00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:33,685 God! 153 00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,805 "It's a boy!" 154 00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,045 Nic? 155 00:07:47,045 --> 00:07:49,445 Nic? 156 00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:51,005 What's wrong? What's happened? 157 00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,365 I've got to stop shopping when I'm pissed. 158 00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:55,525 Why am I like this?! Oh... 159 00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,405 Oh, just shut up. You're amazing. You know you are. 160 00:07:58,405 --> 00:07:59,725 Oh... 161 00:07:59,725 --> 00:08:03,005 I keep getting flashes of something I said to you last night. 162 00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,245 What do you mean? 163 00:08:04,245 --> 00:08:08,205 I can't remember quite what it was, but I'm just...urrrrgh! 164 00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:10,045 What did I say to you? Ugh... 165 00:08:10,045 --> 00:08:13,165 You're just.... You're just going to absolutely drive yourself mad... 166 00:08:13,165 --> 00:08:15,525 I know. ..with all this. OK? I know, I know. 167 00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:16,965 That's why you're so messed up, OK? 168 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:19,045 Because you never talk to anyone about it. I know! 169 00:08:19,045 --> 00:08:20,285 You hold it all in all the time. 170 00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:22,605 Jeez, Nic, you're just a human. 171 00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:25,805 We've all done shit, OK? Oh... 172 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,405 God... I would never, ever tell anyone about it. 173 00:08:29,405 --> 00:08:31,045 You promise? I promise. 174 00:08:31,045 --> 00:08:33,885 You'd never say anything? I promise, I would never. Oh, my God... 175 00:08:33,885 --> 00:08:38,045 It's not your fault, Nic. None of it was your fault. 176 00:08:38,045 --> 00:08:41,085 I can't deal with this. You can, you can, look. Come on, get up. 177 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,965 God, it's like a load of rats have escaped from a lab! 178 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:46,205 They're like animals! I know! 179 00:08:46,205 --> 00:08:49,085 But, you know, you asked for this, so, come on. 180 00:08:49,085 --> 00:08:50,645 Oh, God, right... 181 00:08:50,645 --> 00:08:52,245 ..that's it. 182 00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,085 Everything hurts. I know, I know. 183 00:08:55,325 --> 00:08:56,485 Oh... 184 00:08:57,645 --> 00:09:00,605 Oh! What? 185 00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:03,045 I knew this was going to happen... What?! 186 00:09:03,045 --> 00:09:05,525 ..so I made a call. 187 00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:07,605 This is going to sort you right out. 188 00:09:07,605 --> 00:09:09,365 Please say it's drugs. 189 00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,565 Ollie! Ollie! 190 00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:20,165 Oh...! Really good. 191 00:09:20,165 --> 00:09:22,725 His mind is, whoa. 192 00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:25,005 He's very clever. I tell you what we should do. 193 00:09:25,005 --> 00:09:27,205 We should go on a girls' trip, we should do a spa day. 194 00:09:27,205 --> 00:09:28,525 Spa day! Spa day! 195 00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:30,045 Girls, girls, shush. 196 00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:32,645 Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sh! 197 00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,325 Girls' trip, do a spa day. 198 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:35,805 Yeah! Bath Spa! 199 00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,045 I tell you what as well. 200 00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:39,525 Why don't we go to this brilliant Greek restaurant 201 00:09:39,525 --> 00:09:41,485 where they do the... 202 00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,845 You know, the spinning round thing? They smash the plate. 203 00:09:43,845 --> 00:09:46,485 Girls' trip, Bath Spa. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah! 204 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,325 And leave the grumpy old git at home. 205 00:09:52,005 --> 00:09:53,605 Ready? 206 00:09:53,605 --> 00:09:55,365 Three, two, one. 207 00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:56,725 Boom. 208 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,445 Go, go! 209 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,725 You all right? What you doing? Nothing. 210 00:10:06,645 --> 00:10:09,005 Ugh... Who's that? 211 00:10:09,005 --> 00:10:11,365 Who's ringing? I don't know. What's the time? 212 00:10:11,365 --> 00:10:14,485 Everyone got picked up from the party, didn't they? 213 00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:15,805 How should I know?! 214 00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:17,325 It was your party, mate. 215 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,245 Hey! Hey! 216 00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:21,685 It's Suze. Oh, Suze! Hey! 217 00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,645 Hey, how you doing, buddy? 218 00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:27,725 Hey. Hello, Auntie Suze. 219 00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:29,765 Nice to see you! You too! 220 00:10:29,765 --> 00:10:33,365 OK. So, I know I'm the absolute worst because I missed your party, 221 00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:37,765 but I have got you the most awesome present. 222 00:10:37,765 --> 00:10:39,805 Thank you. Can I get you a drink, Suze? 223 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,885 Uh... No, I can't stay long, sorry. 224 00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,885 So, I know this is a bit niche, 225 00:10:43,885 --> 00:10:46,125 but I had these especially made 226 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,125 just for you. 227 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,765 Wait... Oh, my God! 228 00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:52,365 What is it? What is it? 229 00:10:52,365 --> 00:10:55,725 It's the...the... Remember the stop-motion thing we saw on telly? 230 00:10:55,725 --> 00:10:58,165 Yeah. It's that! Yeah, they're Claymation figures. 231 00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:01,125 They've got wires in them so you can bend them whichever way you want. 232 00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:04,125 I can't get you a glass of wine? I can't stay, honestly. Sorry. 233 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,805 Actually, listen, I've been thinking about... 234 00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:11,285 ..Alex's anniversary. Oh, yeah. 235 00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:16,485 And I thought maybe we could get a memorial seat at Old Trafford. 236 00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:19,125 That's a great idea. Yeah? OK, cool. 237 00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,365 It's, like, a couple thousand for the plaque. 238 00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:22,965 Well, that's fine. I can chip in. 239 00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:25,445 Weirdly, we were talking about maybe putting some money... 240 00:11:25,445 --> 00:11:27,845 They've given me a map of the different seats available. 241 00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:30,525 ..behind the bar at his favourite pub. I don't know anything about 242 00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:32,525 football, so I thought maybe you could choose. 243 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,765 Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. 244 00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:35,405 Yeah? What should I get on the plaque? 245 00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:37,805 Um... It's no swearing. They're a bit weird about it, so... 246 00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:40,605 Yeah, I'll think of something, yeah. Like a nickname or something? 247 00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,725 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he had a load of them. 248 00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:45,965 Yeah, that's nice. That's lovely. Yeah. 249 00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:47,925 Cool. Great. 250 00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:50,365 Right, I've got to go, I've got to go. Sorry. 251 00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:53,205 I've got to go to this boring dinner and wonder why the guy playing 252 00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:55,245 opposite me is on twice as much as I am. Yay! 253 00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,565 Oh, God, yes. Ooh, um... Thank you! 254 00:11:57,565 --> 00:12:00,125 Happy birthday. Oh... Thanks, Auntie Suze. 255 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:02,605 Oh, that's great. That's great. I've got to go. I'm sorry. 256 00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:05,485 Bye, Auntie Suze. Love you! Bye-bye. Love you. Bye-bye, Bye-bye. 257 00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:08,285 Oh, God, we must go for that coffee, Sue. 258 00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,845 When you used to hang out with him, 259 00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:18,965 you made me so uncomfortable. 260 00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:33,925 I'm going to go to bed, I think. 261 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,005 OK. 262 00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:41,245 Night, Mum. Night. 263 00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:15,485 Who's ready to hear the sock story? 264 00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:18,165 So, as most of you will probably know... 265 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,085 It's 20 to three, Dan. 266 00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:26,885 And what did she see? 267 00:13:26,885 --> 00:13:31,005 She saw a 14-year-old Dan furiously, 268 00:13:31,005 --> 00:13:35,445 furiously giving it to his favourite football sock. 269 00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:36,805 Come to bed, Dan. 270 00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:38,245 Yeah, I'm coming to bed. 271 00:13:38,245 --> 00:13:39,405 In a bit, yeah. 272 00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:40,685 This was just around the time 273 00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:42,645 he got made captain of the school football team. 274 00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:44,845 What kind of disgusting power trip was this? 275 00:13:46,565 --> 00:13:48,725 So, I went to the same school as Dan, 276 00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:51,885 and I made it my business to tell the entire school. 277 00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:55,845 And by lunchtime, I get pulled into the headmaster's office, 278 00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:58,125 and he says to me, "Alex..." 279 00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,325 You never told me what you actually saw. Dan...! 280 00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:04,445 I've got an image of it in my head, 281 00:14:04,445 --> 00:14:06,405 and I just need to know if it was better or worse. 282 00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,005 It was quick. 283 00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:10,525 That's it. That's all you need to know. 284 00:14:10,525 --> 00:14:13,685 I know I'm making this about me. I know you loved him too. I'm sorry. 285 00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:16,245 An exploration into the groom's proudest 286 00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:18,965 and funniest moments by way of a gentle roast. 287 00:14:18,965 --> 00:14:20,765 Who's that? Who's that boy? 288 00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,485 It's a cousin, isn't it? 289 00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:24,205 And that girl. 290 00:14:33,325 --> 00:14:35,365 Come to bed. Come on. 291 00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:39,365 I just want to understand why you didn't... 292 00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:41,925 I'm not doing all of this. Come to bed. 293 00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:44,645 # If you walk into his room, 294 00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:46,365 # You will get a shock... # Everyone! 295 00:14:46,365 --> 00:14:50,245 # Dan, Dan, Dan the perve, wanked into a sock 296 00:14:50,245 --> 00:14:53,925 # If you walk into this room, you will get a shock. # 297 00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,205 Again! 298 00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:00,645 Oh, I love it! 299 00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:02,485 Wow, reverse! 300 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,125 Really good, Ollie. 301 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:09,165 Oh, no... What? 302 00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,445 She's booked the Greek restaurant. 303 00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:13,085 No! Yes! 304 00:15:13,085 --> 00:15:16,085 And she's sent a gif of a plate being smashed. 305 00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:18,525 Oh, God, no! Yeah! 306 00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:21,205 Oh, my God, how are we going to get out of this? 307 00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:24,165 I don't know! Oh, God! 308 00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,605 Oh, God, is that her? 309 00:15:28,605 --> 00:15:29,885 Hello? 310 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,245 Oh, yes. Yeah, speaking. 311 00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:33,445 Oh, my goodness. 312 00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,525 Yeah. Where did you find him? 313 00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,085 Yeah, I can come now. 314 00:15:40,165 --> 00:15:41,845 Where's my bloody coat? 315 00:15:52,045 --> 00:15:53,925 You all right up there, boys? 316 00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:56,885 What's so funny? 317 00:16:01,965 --> 00:16:03,765 Oh, shit. 318 00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:08,645 Shit, shit, shit, shit. 319 00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,045 Anyone in? Nic? 320 00:16:20,925 --> 00:16:23,165 Always leaving the bloody TV on. 321 00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,645 There's an energy crisis going on! 322 00:16:45,445 --> 00:16:47,645 Oh, hi. Oh, hey! 323 00:16:47,645 --> 00:16:50,525 Oh, I am so sorry to keep you waiting. Oh, that's OK. 324 00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:53,765 I think someone's going to be very happy to see you! 325 00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,925 Oh, my God! 326 00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:59,805 Oh, Mr Meowgi! Oh, my gosh! Hello, mate! 327 00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:01,365 "Hello, Mummy!" 328 00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:04,045 Aw, Ollie's going to be so relieved. 329 00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:06,165 He's been good as gold. Oh... Mm-hm. 330 00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:07,725 He's lost a bit of weight. 331 00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:10,565 Yeah, he was very, very hungry when he came in. 332 00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:12,125 Very hungry. 333 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:14,245 Watch out for his claws! 334 00:17:14,245 --> 00:17:16,845 God, you nasty... 335 00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,365 That's it, fella. 336 00:17:18,365 --> 00:17:21,045 I'm just going to get you to go in here. 337 00:17:21,045 --> 00:17:22,445 That's it. 338 00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:24,605 Careful of the tail! Yes! 339 00:17:24,605 --> 00:17:27,165 Just put your arse in. Thank you. 340 00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:28,485 Bye-bye! Bye-bye! 341 00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:37,606 All right... 342 00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:40,246 Found Mr Meowgi! Mum... 343 00:17:40,246 --> 00:17:41,726 Ollie! Mum. 344 00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:45,206 What's happened? 345 00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,606 Do you want to tell her, or shall I? 346 00:17:50,606 --> 00:17:52,486 Do you want to...? 347 00:17:52,486 --> 00:17:57,166 These two have just spent 45 minutes tormenting me. 348 00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,006 What have you done? 349 00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:03,126 Well, it was my idea to use the Fart Blaster. 350 00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,286 Sorry, what's a Fart Blaster? That. 351 00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:08,006 THAT is a Fart Blaster. 352 00:18:14,406 --> 00:18:16,206 What did you do in this? 353 00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:21,046 It was my idea to use the surround sound. 354 00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,526 Can you imagine what that... 355 00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:25,206 ..is like? 356 00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:28,166 365 degrees, just everywhere. 357 00:18:31,966 --> 00:18:33,686 I'm so sorry. 358 00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,326 I can't imagine... No. 359 00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:40,886 Would you boys... 360 00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,686 ..like to say sorry to Viv? 361 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,606 I'm sorry we scared you. 362 00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:46,846 Um, well... 363 00:18:46,846 --> 00:18:48,526 We were just having a laugh. 364 00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:50,326 That's not an apology, is it? 365 00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,126 No. Mm-hm. 366 00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:54,046 What do you say? Sorry, Viv. 367 00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:56,406 Because what must have that been like for you? 368 00:18:56,406 --> 00:18:58,006 That was absolutely... 369 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,166 It was one of the worst experiences of my life. 370 00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:01,886 It was traumatising. Yeah. 371 00:19:01,886 --> 00:19:04,486 OK, I don't want to be too vulnerable in front of the children. 372 00:19:04,486 --> 00:19:06,326 I know. I'm so sorry. 373 00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:09,566 No cleaning's been done, so I'm sorry about that. 374 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,086 Do you know what? I don't blame you. 375 00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,806 Imagine you in that situation. I'd be just as terrified as you were. 376 00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:17,766 Could you do cleaning with THAT in your whole system? 377 00:19:17,766 --> 00:19:20,606 Are you going to be all right to drive? Well, I don't know. 378 00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,006 Would you be? 379 00:19:22,006 --> 00:19:24,806 Well, I mean, it was sort of only farts. 380 00:19:24,806 --> 00:19:27,166 All right, I guess I'll go, then, shall I? 381 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,766 To you, it was only farts. 382 00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:30,766 It was A LOT MORE than that to me. 383 00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:33,006 Though... 384 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:37,326 I tell you what, though, I would not wish that on anyone. 385 00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,006 Not even Katie Hopkins. 386 00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,886 So, anyway, hi, Ollie, I'm home! 387 00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,166 Ta-da! Who's that? 388 00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:55,086 What do you mean, who is it? It's Mr Meowgi. 389 00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,886 Wow. 390 00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:01,326 All right, come on, Harry. 391 00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:03,526 Ollie! Ollie! Yeah? 392 00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:08,766 Thank you, Mother! 393 00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:11,686 It's... It's cool. 394 00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:15,646 Come on, Harry, let's go to the shed, it's boring in here. 395 00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:17,806 Sorry, mate. 396 00:20:17,806 --> 00:20:20,846 I'm glad you're home, even if Ollie couldn't give a shit. 397 00:20:20,846 --> 00:20:22,966 You all right, mate? Where have you been? 398 00:20:22,966 --> 00:20:24,846 Sorry, just been on the phone to my mum. 399 00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:27,726 Had to hang up, like, eight times. She just wouldn't shut up. 400 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,406 Found the cat. Oh, nice! 401 00:20:29,406 --> 00:20:32,486 Ollie wasn't bothered. He wasn't? No, not at all. 402 00:20:32,486 --> 00:20:35,166 Where've they gone? They've gone out to the shed, have they? Yeah. 403 00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,006 What's... What's this doing out? 404 00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:41,446 Oh, I don't know. Maybe the kids got it out. 405 00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:43,806 Who put this on? Nice, I don't know... 406 00:20:43,806 --> 00:20:46,046 Who put it on?! I don't know. Are you OK? 407 00:20:47,726 --> 00:20:49,766 What's wrong? 408 00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:51,006 That's him. 409 00:20:51,006 --> 00:20:52,406 Who's him? 410 00:20:54,366 --> 00:20:55,846 That's HIM? 411 00:20:57,366 --> 00:20:58,606 Oh, mate... 412 00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,206 So hello. 413 00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:02,766 This is the recipes. 414 00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:05,926 For those of you who don't know me, I am Alex. 415 00:21:05,926 --> 00:21:08,646 I am Dan's younger, better looking brother. 416 00:21:08,646 --> 00:21:10,006 Right, Nic? 417 00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:11,646 Oh, fuck. 418 00:21:13,046 --> 00:21:14,766 Yikes. 419 00:21:16,126 --> 00:21:18,446 But you can roll it in glitter and, ladies and gentlemen, 420 00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:20,206 isn't my brother sparkling today? 421 00:21:20,206 --> 00:21:22,006 Give him a round of applause. 422 00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:24,046 God, he hated that tie. 423 00:21:26,726 --> 00:21:30,406 You know, I've never been able to watch this all the way through. 424 00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:32,166 Why not? 425 00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:36,686 Cos it all fucking started on my wedding day. 426 00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,406 ..trod dog shit all into the carpets 427 00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:40,646 on the first day he had his first car. 428 00:21:45,446 --> 00:21:47,566 Stop! It's so fun! Stop it! 429 00:21:47,566 --> 00:21:51,326 Oh, for God's sake. Oh... 430 00:21:51,326 --> 00:21:53,646 The suits are good. Oh, you think? 431 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,246 Yeah, I'm surprised. What do you mean, you're surprised? 432 00:21:56,246 --> 00:21:58,366 Suits never fit me, especially when they're hired. 433 00:21:58,366 --> 00:22:00,366 Moss Bros! Yeah, it looks good on the botty. 434 00:22:00,366 --> 00:22:02,166 Yeah, it does. Still enough space to... 435 00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,406 ..cut the rug later. 436 00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,406 Don't! For God's sake! 437 00:22:06,406 --> 00:22:08,806 Just had a champagne with Mum. Oh, no... 438 00:22:08,806 --> 00:22:11,126 She went to the general manager of the hotel... 439 00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:13,926 Right, right. ..to specifically ask... Yeah? 440 00:22:13,926 --> 00:22:16,846 ..that no-one disturb her while she practises the song. 441 00:22:16,846 --> 00:22:18,646 Oh, God... Oh... 442 00:22:18,646 --> 00:22:20,766 She's insane. Ugh! 443 00:22:22,246 --> 00:22:24,846 Um... Are you all right? Are you OK? Yeah. 444 00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:29,126 Oh, God. Don't, you're scaring me! What is it? 445 00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:31,686 If I don't say, I'm never going to say it. Um... 446 00:22:31,686 --> 00:22:34,006 I just wanted to say that... 447 00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,206 ..I think you're amazing... 448 00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:40,486 ..and I think I'm in love with you. 449 00:22:41,766 --> 00:22:44,926 Babe, I'm so sorry! I couldn't find anywhere to park. 450 00:22:44,926 --> 00:22:46,726 There were no spaces at all, 451 00:22:46,726 --> 00:22:49,086 so I had to go and park in the bloody golf club 452 00:22:49,086 --> 00:22:51,086 and lug all of this stuff from over there. 453 00:22:51,086 --> 00:22:53,686 Oh... Can you imagine? No. What a blooming nightmare. 454 00:22:53,686 --> 00:22:56,166 I mean, how can a place like this, of this scale, 455 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,686 have such a small bloody car park? 456 00:22:57,686 --> 00:22:59,486 I have no idea. Make it make sense. 457 00:22:59,486 --> 00:23:01,886 Can we make it make sense, please?! No, I don't... 458 00:23:01,886 --> 00:23:03,886 Oh, gosh. The day! 459 00:23:03,886 --> 00:23:05,766 My boyfriend was up all night, yeah? Yeah? 460 00:23:05,766 --> 00:23:07,846 My boyfriend was up all night being sick. Oh... 461 00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:10,286 Well, from every angle, really - from the front and the back. 462 00:23:10,286 --> 00:23:13,966 Because I gave him a fish pie that I made on Monday on Saturday. 463 00:23:13,966 --> 00:23:16,446 Because this bitch, he saw me in my new Givenchy coat, 464 00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:19,366 and he said to me that I look like a character out of the Muppets. 465 00:23:19,366 --> 00:23:20,726 Oh... That's... 466 00:23:20,726 --> 00:23:23,326 That coat is beautiful. Yeah? Very beautiful. 467 00:23:23,326 --> 00:23:26,246 And I know, I know I shouldn't have given him that fish pie, 468 00:23:26,246 --> 00:23:29,446 but he hurt me. And when that fool used to walk around town dressing 469 00:23:29,446 --> 00:23:32,246 like he was in the Peaky Blinders, did I say anything? No. 470 00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,886 No, I didn't, because I knew it would destroy him. Yeah. 471 00:23:34,886 --> 00:23:37,806 Anyway, anyway, are we, are we, are we excited about today? 472 00:23:37,806 --> 00:23:39,766 Yes! Sorry! This is Alex. Alex. 473 00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:42,166 Jesus. Alex, this is Jesus. Lovely to meet you, Alex. 474 00:23:42,166 --> 00:23:44,046 Sorry, Jesus? Jesus, yes. 475 00:23:44,046 --> 00:23:47,446 Um, babe, could you get me a coffee, by any chance? 476 00:23:47,446 --> 00:23:50,166 Yes, Jesus. Um... How do you take it? 477 00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,446 Cappuccino, please. No sugar. 478 00:23:54,006 --> 00:23:56,446 Um.... It's a hotel, so there's only instant in the rooms. 479 00:23:56,446 --> 00:23:58,486 Don't they do cappuccinos at the bar downstairs? 480 00:23:58,486 --> 00:24:00,566 Yeah. Mm-hm? Brilliant. Thank you very much. 481 00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:02,646 Do you want the chocolate dust on the top? 482 00:24:02,646 --> 00:24:04,566 Everything, please. Give me it all. 483 00:24:06,286 --> 00:24:08,326 OK, he's a little bit sexy. 484 00:24:08,326 --> 00:24:10,606 Mm-hm. I would like a bit of that, please. 485 00:24:10,606 --> 00:24:12,686 Yeah? Oh, I like him a lot. 486 00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,686 I'm very happy for you, you're in a good place. 487 00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:17,326 But isn't it bad luck to see the groom before you get married? 488 00:24:17,326 --> 00:24:19,006 Sorry, he's not the groom. 489 00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,526 Absolutely not the groom. 490 00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,966 Right... Sorry, he's not. 491 00:24:21,966 --> 00:24:24,326 Um... Has anything changed since the consultation? 492 00:24:24,326 --> 00:24:25,606 You're still happy with...? 493 00:24:25,606 --> 00:24:27,486 I was just wondering, possibly, 494 00:24:27,486 --> 00:24:30,366 if I could have sort of shorter lashes, if that was possible? 495 00:24:30,366 --> 00:24:32,566 No. No? No, babe, I really wouldn't know. 496 00:24:32,566 --> 00:24:35,166 No, you need to trust me. Shorter lashes do not photograph well. 497 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,246 OK. Could we go a bit neutral on the lips, possibly? 498 00:24:37,246 --> 00:24:39,766 No, I don't think so. No? OK. Yep. Stick with the plan. 499 00:24:39,766 --> 00:24:41,806 All right, let me get started with your base. 500 00:24:43,246 --> 00:24:46,206 I'm sorry, but your flower girl is a prick. Oh, I know. 501 00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:49,446 I know she's only six but, my God, she's a massive prick! I know! 502 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:52,246 And guess who organised that one! Wonderful Carol. 503 00:24:52,246 --> 00:24:54,126 Please don't make me go back out there. 504 00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,886 No, no, no, don't go back out there. 505 00:24:55,886 --> 00:24:59,566 Carol, made me, FORCED me, by the way, to have her. Ugh! 506 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,686 Have you seen your mother-in-law yet? 507 00:25:01,686 --> 00:25:03,166 Oh, God, no. 508 00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,766 She's a piece of work too! 509 00:25:04,766 --> 00:25:07,446 If I started stabbing her, I would just never stop stabbing. 510 00:25:07,446 --> 00:25:08,966 God, it's like she can't handle that 511 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:11,046 you'll be, like, the centre of attention today. 512 00:25:11,046 --> 00:25:13,526 She can't handle anybody being the centre of attention. 513 00:25:13,526 --> 00:25:15,046 And she tried to palm Ollie off to me. 514 00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:16,486 Hi, Carol! 515 00:25:16,486 --> 00:25:18,566 Oh, Suzie! There you are! 516 00:25:18,566 --> 00:25:20,206 Hi, Carol! 517 00:25:20,206 --> 00:25:23,286 You couldn't just take him for a couple of seconds, could you? 518 00:25:23,286 --> 00:25:25,206 I'm sorry, I can't. 519 00:25:26,286 --> 00:25:28,046 Nicola? Yeah? 520 00:25:28,046 --> 00:25:30,206 Please could you take him for a minute? 521 00:25:30,206 --> 00:25:32,246 Oh, just... I've still got to get ready. 522 00:25:32,246 --> 00:25:33,886 I'm just getting ready for my wedding. 523 00:25:33,886 --> 00:25:35,686 But he just wants you. 524 00:25:35,686 --> 00:25:38,086 He's just a bit tired, Carol. 525 00:25:38,086 --> 00:25:41,046 Are you still all right to do me afterwards? Yeah, we're good. 526 00:25:41,046 --> 00:25:42,846 Am I paying for that? No. 527 00:25:42,846 --> 00:25:45,046 No, I know, you just want your mummy, don't you? 528 00:25:45,046 --> 00:25:47,006 Hey, cappuccino. 529 00:25:47,006 --> 00:25:49,246 Oh, we are here! Thank you, baby! 530 00:25:51,126 --> 00:25:52,486 Are you good? 531 00:25:53,446 --> 00:25:55,366 Hey, what's wrong, big man? Why are you crying? 532 00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:57,686 Oh, he just wants his mummy! Why are you crying? 533 00:25:57,686 --> 00:25:59,326 Silly Nana. Mummy's getting married. 534 00:25:59,326 --> 00:26:01,566 Oh... Come on. Come on, mate. 535 00:26:01,566 --> 00:26:03,326 Let's go check the United score. 536 00:26:03,326 --> 00:26:05,686 Say, "Bye, Mummy. Love you. Love you lots." 537 00:26:05,686 --> 00:26:06,846 Thank you. 538 00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:08,966 You're not going to be much longer, are you? 539 00:26:08,966 --> 00:26:11,126 No... Mum, give Nic some space, yeah? 540 00:26:11,126 --> 00:26:13,326 All right! Yeah. Come on. 541 00:26:13,326 --> 00:26:15,006 I got you, I got you. 542 00:26:24,606 --> 00:26:26,366 Did you notice that? 543 00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:28,046 What? Alex. 544 00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:30,406 What about Alex? 545 00:26:30,406 --> 00:26:32,686 He's pulling away from me. 546 00:26:32,686 --> 00:26:34,486 Really? Yes, I can feel it. 547 00:26:34,486 --> 00:26:36,806 He's giving me that vibe, like, the last couple of weeks. 548 00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:39,406 Really? Yes! No... You know when you just know? 549 00:26:39,406 --> 00:26:40,926 Oh, my God, no, no, no, no. Yes! 550 00:26:40,926 --> 00:26:42,486 I didn't see your man. 551 00:26:42,486 --> 00:26:45,566 What's he like? Tell me about him. He's... Uh, Dan? 552 00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:48,486 Um... He's very reliable and sort of... Fantastic. 553 00:26:48,486 --> 00:26:50,886 ..like an A4 envelope, I suppose. 554 00:26:50,886 --> 00:26:53,206 Cos you've got a lot of sauce, I thought you need someone 555 00:26:53,206 --> 00:26:55,286 that's going to be quite sturdy in that way. 556 00:26:55,286 --> 00:26:57,926 I saw him earlier and he was grinning from ear to ear. 557 00:26:57,926 --> 00:27:00,846 Really? Yeah. He looked like a right dickhead. 558 00:27:00,846 --> 00:27:04,286 Dan, you always did well at school. You were brilliant at football. 559 00:27:04,286 --> 00:27:05,806 You took over the business from Dad 560 00:27:05,806 --> 00:27:08,046 and you've absolutely smashed that as well. 561 00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,206 You excel at everything you put your mind to, Dan. 562 00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:12,126 And, of course, as your little brother, 563 00:27:12,126 --> 00:27:14,246 I did get jealous every now and then. 564 00:27:14,246 --> 00:27:16,406 And then Dan met Nic and I thought, 565 00:27:16,406 --> 00:27:18,086 "Holy shit, he's done it. 566 00:27:18,086 --> 00:27:19,566 "He's found the one." 567 00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,566 He's found a unicorn, 568 00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:26,646 a woman so funny she can make you cry with laughter. 569 00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:30,566 So witty and smart she can tie us all in knots. 570 00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,886 So beautiful - and I'm sure you'll all agree - 571 00:27:32,886 --> 00:27:35,246 that today she took all of our breath away. 572 00:27:39,086 --> 00:27:41,126 And you will never find a better mother. 573 00:27:42,646 --> 00:27:44,166 That's a round of applause, guys. 574 00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,086 That's your cue for the round of applause. 575 00:27:47,606 --> 00:27:50,606 But most importantly, she is really good at telling Dan 576 00:27:50,606 --> 00:27:53,086 when he's being a massive bellend. 577 00:27:55,126 --> 00:27:57,486 Dan, I love you. 578 00:27:57,486 --> 00:28:00,206 Nic, I love you. 579 00:28:02,086 --> 00:28:05,606 # She stands before the mirror 580 00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:08,846 # Smiles at her reflection 581 00:28:08,846 --> 00:28:12,486 # Striking sexy poses in the glass 582 00:28:14,606 --> 00:28:17,366 # She paints her lips a brilliant red 583 00:28:17,366 --> 00:28:20,686 # Piles her hair high on her head 584 00:28:20,686 --> 00:28:24,606 # Struggles to replace a false eyelash 585 00:28:27,126 --> 00:28:29,566 # And all at once inside her mind 586 00:28:29,566 --> 00:28:32,406 # She sees him at the door 587 00:28:32,406 --> 00:28:36,166 # And as he's leading her away 588 00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:39,446 # She feels the room begin to sway 589 00:28:39,446 --> 00:28:42,966 # Where beauty lives in memory 590 00:28:42,966 --> 00:28:46,966 # She falls dead upon the floor 591 00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:53,446 # Mirror, mirror on the wall 592 00:28:53,446 --> 00:28:58,046 # Who's the fairest of them all? # 593 00:28:58,096 --> 00:29:02,646 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43751

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.