Original subtitles

Whoa!

Augh!

Whoa, whoa... Hold up!

Now, you may be wondering

how Santa got his hands caught in the cookie jar.

Well, let's just say this wasn't my first heist.

Put the money in the bag!

But before you start judging,

you should know: I'm a man of God.

People know me as Reverend Benjamin Wright.

That's right, Reverend, and I love my congregation.

Can I get an amen?

Amen!

So when a con man financial adviser

tricked the church out of all of its money

and forced it to close,

I knew I had to find a way to get it back.

Luckily, some people in the community...

We call ourselves the Lean On Me Group...

Felt the same way I did.

We got no choice but to steal it back!

We pulled off a faith heist,

and I was their spiritual adviser.

Nas was our hacker.

Jack, our gadget man.

His daughter Skipper provided the necessary gymnastics.

Marge was our getaway driver.

Let's go, y'all! Clock's ticking!

And Gabs...

took care of the security guard.

I got jumped while I was doing my rounds.

Now, I don't want to spoil the entire story

for you, so let's just say the church stayed open

and the false prophet went from con man to convict.

So when the group and I volunteered at the mall

to raise money for charity,

we really did think our thieving days were behind us.

You alright in there, baby?

You look.

Benjamin, I just peed on it!

Uh, excuse you!

I guess I'm just... nervous!

I know, me too.

- A little bit nervous. - Me too.

Wait, something's happening.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

But we'll get there.

And until then...

practice makes perfect.

Oh!

Oh, choir bus is here.

Now remember, our last performance is upstate,

but I'm making sure we're back by Christmas morning.

Mm-hm?

Tour manager's gonna end up on my naughty list

if she's wrong about that.

Oh, well she better be on it either way.

- Bye, baby. - Bye, baby.

Thank God.

Hey...

I can't wait for Christmas

That's a very, very long time

'Cause what I really want to give you

Is a big old piece of my mind

Let the beat drop!

Hey!

I can't wait for Christmas

Hey!

I can't wait

I can't wait for Christmas

There's too many days to go

'Cause there's something that you need to know

And I'm the one that's gonna tell you so

Let the beat drop!

Hey!

I said I can't wait for Christmas

Hey!

I can't wait... I can't wait for Christmas!

No, no, no!

I love the smell of gingerbread in the morning!

I can't wait for Christmas!

Jack, what's our current status?

DEFCON 3 French hens, sir!

It's almost fully operational.

- Just the train's horn needs... - Gabs!

Cooking report?

I can't wait for Christmas!

It's my own secret recipe.

Woo-hoo!

Mmm!

Jiminy Christmas!

You know, we have to protect our secrets at all costs.

Mm-hm!

So do not let this one out!

Nas, intel brief.

Uh, well, we have the Christmas candy land,

the snowman sled hill, and my personal favourite,

Drake's winter home in Aspen.

That's a nice one.

Skipper, how are those Clippety-Clop formations?

Popped and locked, sir.

And it's TikTok, not Clippety-Clop.

That's what I said.

TipPop.

Anyway... It looks perfect.

Alright, let me see.

Wow, you got some serious moves.

Aah...

Ahh...

Ah, how about some daddy-daughter dances?

Definitely not.

Even if it's the Elf on the Shelf-le?

- Dad... - What is that?

- Come on! - Dad...

- The Elf on the Shelfle! - No, no, Dad!

- Oh, come on. - No!

There's an... elf on the shelf, on the shelf,

on the shelf, up all night, up all night, up all night!

There's an elf on the shelf, on the shelf, on the shelf,

- up all night! - Okay, Dad, Dad!

Stop it! You are so embarrassing.

You used to like this when you were a little girl.

Yeah, well, I'm 17 now.

Well...

Maybe we do have something here.

#Cringemas.

Oh, heavenly manger!

Freaky deaky! Someone steal those batteries.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jack!

Bad-looking tree at one o'clock.

Oh, already locked and loaded with holiday cheer.

Yeah, as soon as I check the propulsion gauge.

Mr. Kringle, sir, there's no time!

I just took a peek outside... We're completely surrounded!

Hey-hey-hey! It's go-ho-ho time!

This is what we're trained for, people.

Nas, Skipper, open the doors!

Time to raise some money for the children's hospital.

Okay, I gotta get the star ready.

Oh, I was born ready. You don't have to tell me twice.

I'm talking about that one, Rev.

Aww, yeah!

The Christmas Star.

Gets me every time.

Welcome to Santa's Village.

- Enjoy! - Welcome, guys.

A shoutout to a jeweller's generosity,

loaning us this brilliant curiosity.

A spectacle surpassing expectations,

while adding sparkle to our Christmas celebrations.

And while y'all are here for this photo opportunity,

we get the gift of seeing our community!

Because when you...

Take one step closer to that star, Santa,

and the only thing you're gonna want for Christmas

is your two front teeth.

Well, that wasn't very merry.

But thank you for letting me know.

Okay, enjoy!

Over here!

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey... Hey!

Oh...

He's like Dasher, Dancer, Comet, and Prancer all in one!

Hey, uh, we're gonna go on break.

Already?

And miss all the... all the fun?

- Oh... - Okay, go see your mom.

Look, it's only been 30 minutes.

The kids out there are counting on you and so are we, so...

- Hey, Rev. - Hey, Nas.

Um, remember how you said

if we ever need anything we can come to you?

Uh, Jack, we got more people coming in.

I kind of need some fatherly advice.

Just hold on a sec.

We're falling behind.

Oh, who's next?

- Catch you later? - Hope so.

Oh, Nas?

Nas, hold up!

Ugh!

You're a big boy, aren't you?

Almost didn't recognize you without the Jheri curl wig.

I...

I don't know what you're talking about.

So...

young man...

what would you like for Christmas?

Justice.

I'll know when you're sleeping.

I'll know when you're awake.

I'll know if you've been bad or good, so don't...

- make... - a mistake.

Ah! Oh...

You put my leg into a coma!

Ahh!

Maybe it is time for a break.

Okay, let's take ten!

Thank you for shopping here.

Hey, excuse me, Nas?

When you wrap things up in Santa's Village,

can I run something by you in the office?

Yeah, I'm just... I'll meet you there in five.

Okay, thanks!

Miss Mall Manager!

Nice to see you.

Mr. Kris Kringle, how are things in the North Pole?

Oh, so far, so good.

I mean, we're so grateful for the community

lending us everything we needed,

but the icing on top is that exquisite star above!

It really brings in the people.

I mean, one lady drove three hours

just to catch a glimpse of it in person.

Can you believe that?

I can't thank you enough for arranging that.

I'm just glad it's helping.

Although I do have one question, Marge.

That guy?

Come on!

Hey now, we did a good thing by taking down a con man,

but Randy didn't know that he was working for a criminal.

All he knew is that one day he was out of a job.

Just felt like the right thing.

And with this place? Oof...

It's like an opportunity for new beginnings.

- Everybody deserves that. - Hmm!

You're a good woman, Marge.

If you catch me on the right day!

Now, I have an issue with you.

Okay!

As much as I love all of these decorations,

- why all the fog machines? - Oh, okay.

Don't see them as the fog machines

they are now,

but as the snow machines they will be

once Jack gets his hands on some liquid nitrogen...

which I promise I will not let happen.

Mm-hm.

Santa, let's use this break to spread the Gospel!

Oh, come visit Santa's Village and see the Christmas Star.

All proceeds go to the Children's Hospital,

a wonderful local charity.

No rest for the cheery.

Or the Christmas puns.

- Later, Rev! - Alright, later.

Hey, slow down, Gabs!

You know this suit adds ten pounds.

This place sure ain't what it used to be.

That right there was once a Woolworth's,

but they went out of business.

Probably because no one buys wool anymore.

You know, it's sad because I really like sheep.

Kids want Santa passing out presents,

not passing out in their presence.

Oh, please.

Kids will like you no matter what you do.

You know, I'm surprised you're not a dad already

considering you're so good with them.

- You really think so? - Absolutely!

They just love bouncing on that big, old Santa belly.

Well, I feel like that last comment was unnecessary,

but I appreciate the support.

Oh, and that used to be a McSorley Sporting Goods.

Funny story about McSorley's...

Since it's Christmas Eve tomorrow,

and we don't have any overnight guards,

the jewelry company's insisted on this

state-of-the-art safe for the Christmas Star,

and I just don't get it.

Yeah, well that's 'cause it's state-of-the-art.

You have to sync it directly to your system here.

That's how you get the combination,

which changes, like, every ten seconds.

See, with these types of systems,

the security is so high that...

There she is!

I have been meaning to call you!

Come here, you.

Nas, this is Don Partridge.

He's really the one who helped us get the Christmas Star.

Oh, come on, I just put in a good word

with my uncle. After all, it's his business.

It's his decision.

And I'm saying thank you, so take it.

Okay!

Well, I did know the Children's Hospital once helped his boy,

so maybe I did lean into the whole

raising money for the charity thing.

Okay, and how do you two know each other?

Uh... anger management.

I was gonna say we took a course together,

but y'all know about me.

Yeah, I remember.

- You got mad at some driver and... - And things escalated.

Boring story.

Well, that story actually ends with a busted side mirror,

a restraining order, and a suspended license

for a year and a half.

And a mandatory class where I discovered

that my trigger is ding-dongs

who use the passing lane to take their sweet, old time.

But it's all good!

I found this job that I could walk to,

- so all that could be avoided. - There you go.

And what about you, Mr. Partridge?

What's that, anger management?

Well, I'm not proud of it, but I guess I got so mad

waiting in line at the bank, robbing it just seemed faster.

- It wasn't. - No, it wasn't.

And give years later, I was released,

and as a condition of my parole

I had to attend classes with this lovely lady.

And now look at you:

Marge in charge!

I can't believe you own a mall.

I'm just the manager, please.

But I am helping my boss find some investors who'd be willing

to take this place off of his hands.

Then I'm gonna spin that into an even better job.

You got to make your own opportunities.

It's true.

Nobody's giving you what you want,

you just gotta take it.

That's not quite what I'm saying.

I-I think I'm just gonna head back.

The manual is just right here.

You can take a look at that.

Thanks, Nas.

For your help.

Nice to meet you, Nas.

That guy is pretty hardcore.

Oh, yeah.

You know, my uncle makes sure all Himmel security are trained

by the Israeli Secret Service.

- Ah! - No joke!

Yeah, nobody is stealing anything on his watch.

Let's maintain a parameter, people.

Hey, Mom, I'm gonna have to ask you

to keep your eye on this one, okay?

I just don't like the vibe I'm getting from her.

- Me? - Yeah, you.

I got an eye on you, buddy.

Um... okay.

What?

Oh...

Up all night, up all night...

You postedthis?

Thanks! A lot.

Ugh!

Up all night, up all night, up all night!

There's an elf on the shelf...

A hundred thousand views.

Oh, is that good?

My life is over!

Kids. Am I right?

Hey, you know, maybe it's time I get on the social medias.

Could be a way to find investors for my inventions.

Some funny business going on around here.

Someone pretending to be something he's not.

You catch my drift?

I don't believe that guy in there is

who he says he is.

You know, if your parents never told you

the truth about Santa, I just...

don't think I should be the one to.

The name's Chilly. Short for Chilly Willy.

Coolio!

No, no one calls me Coolio.

Oh, I just... just meant it's cool, you know?

- Your name's cool. - No, my name is Chilly.

Right.

Oh, and Chilly's packing some heat!

Yeah.

- Yeah, you like that? - Yeah.

That's a million bucks right there,

so anyone gets close to it, they are gettin' iced!

Wow.

What about you? You carry a piece?

No, just two of these.

Scissors beats paper.

You got me this time, buddy!

- No, it's Chilly. - Yeah, Chilly, right.

And, uh... I'm Randy.

Randy. Dandy Randy!

It's a pleasure.

Not a shortcut to the food court.

Should have read the sign.

"Alarm sounds."

At least we know the security system works.

Well, it was great to see you, Marge.

I gotta bounce.

Thanks again, and happy holidays.

- See you soon. - Alright.

Good news.

I already lined up a buyer for the Christmas Star.

So, in 24 hours we'll be escaping out the sewer tunnels.

In 36, we'll be soaking up some rays on an island,

one million dollars richer.

And anyone tries to stop us, they get smoked!

Like a holiday ham.

Oh, I love the holidays!

Oh...

Okay, everybody look over here, look over here!

Three, two, one, woo!

And Mom's gone gluten-free, so seriously,

you should just skip our cookies.

Okay!

Alright. Merry Christmas!

Oh, something up, Rev?

Okay.

Could you give me a second, folks?

Talk to me.

Alright, but it involves a painful confession.

Me and Vanessa, we're trying to conceive.

Oh, that... that's great!

Oh. Well you know, give it time.

That's the problem.

You know, we got a negative test this morning

and I almost cried for joy.

Oh...

I'm scared, Jack.

I mean, my dad was my hero.

The best dad ever.

How can I possibly live up to that?

So, I get to thinking that maybe...

maybe it's better I'm not a dad

than spend the rest of my life failing at it.

Hey, Rev, I need some guy/girl advice,

and I don't know who to talk to, and now she's mad at me,

and I just...

The kid comes, right?

Wanting help and advice,

wanting me to solve all the problems.

And I can't, I get blamed, for everything.

Maybe I don't want that.

You know, maybe I just want to say, "No, thanks."

Oh, hey, Nas!

You need something?

No, nothing at all.

I used to have this father figure thing going on

with Nas, and he's just taking off on me lately.

No wonder why I'm doubting myself.

But you know, if I could connect with him,

maybe I'd feel like I got what it takes.

The Peachfield Mall is now closed.

Only one more day before Christmas,

so come on back tomorrow, and we thank you for shopping with us.

Alright, y'all. Good work.

And if anybody needs to hitch a ride, sleigh leaves in 15.

Need a hand there, Jack?

No, all good.

Maybe we'll raise more money tomorrow.

We had crowds all day,

and still barely raised any money for the charity.

I don't even know if I deserve the red suit.

It's not you, hun.

People want to give,

it's just... I think times are tough all around.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just missing you, V.

So, how is life on tour?

Oh, tiring.

Five shows, four different churches.

And I've been feeling nauseous all night.

Nauseous?

There's this seafood joint downstairs

with a 'catch of the day'... But they won't say what day.

Comes up right through the vents.

Vanessa, I've been thinking that maybe

if we weren't actually meant...

I mean, like...

Maybe I just need to get up and get some milk and cookies.

I just need to get more into character.

This fundraiser's really getting to you.

You hang in there.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

And if we weren't meant to be parents, then...

What was that?

I said I love you, baby, goodnight!

This can't be happening!

Can I preach it like I feel it?

'Cause it's Christmas Eve,

the dawn of that most remarkable miracle we celebrate tomorrow.

And it all happened under the Star of Bethlehem,

in a manger, with the animals.

With Mary.

And J-Joseph.

Joseph was there.

Yes, he was. Yes, he was!

Yes, he was.

That... that Joseph.

Now, let me tell you something about Joseph, okay?

Because he wasn't even gonna be a dad and then he was told,

"Father up, son, and get it done."

He was probably like,

"Hey, what if I was cool without kids?

"Man, like what if I was cool without that?"

Right, like, "Maybe my feelings matter, too."

I don't know, I'm just sayin'.

So...

let's remember, during these special times,

that some guys just aren't daddy material.

No, and that's okay.

Because if they don't want to be,

you've gotta respect that,

'cause I bet that is a lot of guys.

So...

Can I get an amen?

- Amen! - Amen.

- Amen? - Amen...

I'd be worried

if Santa wasn't stressed on Christmas Eve.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Snuggle into Santa! Everybody's happy!

And three, two, one... Yeah!

Okay, that's great, kids.

Thanks so much. Step off to your left.

Alright, Merry Christmas!

Thank you. Bye!

Here's an extra camera battery,

but I noticed your phone was almost dead.

Thanks, Nas.

I'm gonna go check on the people in line.

Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, Nas, Nas!

Hey...

You good?

I don't know.

Pretty weird sermon you gave earlier.

- Are you good? - Me?

Pssht!

Uh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Of course I'm good.

Oh, hey, look, I was thinking

that maybe we could go for lunch today.

Nah, I'm good, Rev.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Are you sure?

Because the vibe I'm getting is...

Look, I'm only doing this charity drive with you

as part of my school community service.

I'm showing up on time, Rev. What else do you want?

I just want to make sure that you're feeling

the Christmas family magic, huh?

What?

I heard you talking with Jack earlier,

so you don't have to pretend like you want to help me, okay?

My dad died when I was ten.

I've had to be the man of my house ever since.

I'll be alright on my own.

Wait, wait, wait, you heard me talking to Jack?

About me and Vanessa

trying to have a baby?

Oh, I get it now.

You got your own kid on the way so you don't need another one

in your life giving you even more problems.

Got it, sorry.

Never meant to do that to you.

No, Nas. Nas!

Argh.

This is a nightmare!

Yeah, that could have gone better.

What? No, my likes are way down.

My views are pathetic.

You know where Skipper is?

My guess, just follow Nas.

Right.

Dandy Randy.

Chilly Willy.

May I ask what you think you're doing?

Well, yeah, the problem with these old boxes

is they can actually disrupt the security upgrades

we installed for the jewels, so, yeah, these old wires,

they'll just burn out and start blowing sparks

and everything everywhere, so the safest thing you can do

is just disconnect them totally.

Give me those, and step away from the box.

Because you either get 'em all or you don't bother.

I mean, you've totally ignored

this little yellow guy right here.

See?

Toop!

Hmm!

You know, while you're at it,

I saw another box just like this one

at the other end of the mall.

That'd be the other access door to the basement.

- That's the one. - I'm on it!

You know,

some day they're gonna make a statue of you.

Can it have hair?

I'll talk to the designer.

Thanks.

Alright, this is gonna be easy.

I got time for a sandwich!

Hey, Jack!

Have you seen any investor-type people?

Bad suits, even worse hair?

- Investors? - Mm-hm.

Funny you should ask, I too am seeking some investors.

I don't think they're gonna be interested.

Oh, they should be.

Look, look, look, according to the TV dramas I watch,

crime is literally everywhere.

Sadly, the mall offers

the determined criminal ample opportunity.

That is, until I came up with an idea

to help shoppers fight back.

The thing I came up with, it's called the...

They've gotta be around here somewhere.

- It's called the pockodile. - The what now?

The pockodile... The pocket crocodile!

See...

I think I see them over there.

Okay, I'm just gonna... go.

Okay, I'll tell you more about it later.

That is so stupid!

And we...

Hey.

Hey.

I can't have everyone annoyed with me so...

I'm sorry. Okay?

Posting that video was stupid.

It's not that.

My followers really only watch my feed

for my gymnastics videos.

It's my dad.

He's driving me crazy!

Treating me like a total baby. Trying to bond with me.

I'm not a little girl anymore.

No, you're not.

We all grow up.

I know.

I've been so busy lately that I've barely even seen you.

But... don't you see how lucky you are?

I mean, I've had to be a grown-up for so long now

that people just think I don't need help anymore.

Like, my mom has never treated me like a kid.

Yeah? That sounds awesome.

It's not.

Really. It's like...

It's like, she never took me ice skating.

What would be the point? It's easy!

I can show you.

What I'm saying is even when I started gaming,

it was just so I could learn code

so that maybe I could find a job.

Oh, no, he's not!

He just can't let me be free! This is insane!

Whoops!

That'll show him.

Oh my God, sorry! I'm so sorry... I just used you!

That's bad. That is so bad!

It wasn't thatbad.

- Wrong, maybe. - It felt right to me.

Because I wasn't thinking of you,

and I just kind of did it, and I didn't ask, and I...

- It's okay, it's cool. - I am so embarrassed.

And it'll be smooth sailing out of here.

Oh, you want to join me?

No, sorry.

Hey, Gabs. What you got there?

If you can believe it, the last gift from my husband.

Your husband? I thought he...

No, I lost my Charles years ago.

It's why the season can feel real lonely.

Gonna be the fifth Christmas without him,

and the first one I feel up to decorating again.

Oh, I found this in a box of ornaments.

Oh, you have to open it!

Not before Christmas morning, honey!

You gotta respect tradition.

Can you tell me about him?

He was just such a good man.

Charles dreamed of taking me to Paris.

Can you imagine me in Paris?

But I was just always too scared to fly.

You know, I'm amazed some people aren't.

Being afraid of flying is natural!

Unless maybe you're a bird.

Then it would be unnatural,

and natural would be throwing up in your baby's mouth.

Now... Gabs!

Hmm!

But no matter how many times the man said

he would always protect me, I was still too scared.

And then...

then it was too late.

Fear is a cage you can get trapped in,

and love is the key.

Maybe I waited too long to use it.

That's what scares me now.

Now, I know you have some feelings about your father.

Ugh, don't ruin this.

He's driving me crazy!

He even made me mess things up with Nas.

Ah!

Well, I know what'll put you in a better mood:

a piece of my famous homemade toffee.

Oh! Alright.

Mmm!

Oh, it looks like you have company.

And I'm due back in the village.

Mm!

Hey, I've been looking all over for you.

I was thinking about something you said earlier and...

I don't know, this is probably gonna sound really stupid,

but... maybe you can teach me to ice skate.

Look, I know you don't want to be a kid, but maybe I kinda do.

Maybe we can meet in the middle somewhere.

Sorry, is this making you uncomfortable?

Mm-mm. Uh, is that a no?

Mm... Mm-mm.

Okay, so a yes or no?

Mm-hm. Mm!

No, I'm making you uncomfortable,

or no to meeting in the middle?

Mm! Mm-hm!

You know what? Just forget I even came by.

- Just... - Mm-mm...

Argh!

The Peachfield Mall is now closed.

And we thank you so much for shopping with us.

We wish you a very merry Christmas.

Let me show you fellas the old boiler.

Those estimated repair funds include replacing this bad boy.

Still heats a building of this size,

but to be honest, I don't think it's up to code anymore.

And definitely don't smoke a cigarette

anywhere near this or...

you could get lung cancer.

But once it's replaced,

a new gas boiler could last you, oh, 50 years?

Anyway, let's go back downstairs.

O Tanen-bomb...

O Tanen-bomb!

I can hear you. Can you not hear me?

I said "liquid nitrogen"!

Liquid, not big squids.

Although, can you get big squids?

Actually, you know what, never mind.

What I need is liquid... ugh!

Hello?

Do you get decent reception?

Not me.

Wife calls it "janky."

That's why I call her from the roof.

That's a good idea.

Whoa, whoa, wait. For next time, Jack,

the Yuletide Express has just pulled in.

That's a fog blaster!

Oh, wow!

Ah, son of a Grinch!

Woo!

Needs some recalibration!

- Is that safe? - What?

I was gonna stick to sleigh bells!

Steak?

Yeah!

I just need to see it get locked away.

- Ready? - Let's see.

But remember, once we get the code,

- it's only good for ten seconds. - Mm.

C-9-8-0-9-8.

There!

It'll be here waiting for your boss on the 26th.

Okay, and you probably won't see me again

because I'm leaving the mall.

Now.

Merry Christmas, Chilly.

Yes, Merry Christmas to all.

One for the road, honey?

- No, thanks. - Okay.

Did that just break the floor?

No, that crack was already there.

You know, Gabs, I just thought of a great idea

we could give each other for Christmas.

Oh! I love this idea already!

What are you thinking, hun?

Wouldn't it be so much fun

if we took a baking class together?

And waste your money?

Why, I can teach you everything myself.

Oh, you look sadder than a tree after Christmas.

Well, I feel like I've been kicked to the curb.

Oh...

Didn't even make half the money we made last year.

Well, we raised money for an important charity.

Be proud no matter what.

Yeah, now I can go to the hospital and tell the kids,

"Oh, no, no, no, that's not coal in your stocking,

"that's just the black eyes of a snowman,

"staring up at your sad faces while its body melts

"into a puddle of your tears.

"Happy holiday!"

I gotta take this.

Hi, baby.

Everything okay? You sound upset.

No, I... ay... at...

Hello?

Everything is fine!

Look, I'll call you back.

Heading to the roof. Just sit tight.

Mm-hm.

Okay, y'all are as worried about that man as I am, right?

I mean, what is wrong with him?

Thank you for your service.

It was an honour to work with you,

one I will not soon forget.

Yeah.

Oh, that means a lot coming from you.

Please look back, please look back,

please look back, please look back.

Ready to activate the alarm system

and shut this place down for the holidays!

Radio in when you have the all-clear.

A church group...

or the perfect cover for a crime syndicate?

10-4. I might be on to something.

And as much as I love our choir robes,

I really just can't wait to be back at home with you in my PJs.

Ugh, I need out of this thing, too.

I feel like a lost Claus.

Hush!

You've done so much for that Children's Hospital.

It doesn't feel like enough.

When you let a child down, you let the whole world down.

Can I preach it like I feel it?

Oh, lord, I've never heard those words

sound so small.

What is going on, Benjamin Wright?

Something else on your mind?

Oof, I'm still feeling a little funny.

I think this time it might actually be my lunch.

Two pints of red velvet cheesecake ice cream.

What?!

I ain't apologizing!

I ain't never craved anything like that before!

Nausea, cravings... Wait, you don't think...

What? You mean...

I suppose it's worth checking again.

I mean, they say that sometimes a day or two makes a difference.

No, not now!

Honey, you okay?

Are you feeling pressured about the baby thing?

Oh, well, I mean, yes...

Maybe adding a little, just a little stress to my life.

Don't let it.

If it doesn't happen, it's okay.

- It is? - Sure.

If it doesn't happen this month, then hopefully the next one.

Oh, uh, I thought that...

You do want to be a father, don't you?

Benjamin, there's no reason to be scared.

I've seen your work with the neighbourhood children.

Have you talked to Nas lately?

Because I don't think I've got what it takes.

Forget it.

You've got a long night ahead of you.

Just call me later, okay?

I will.

I can't wait to see you tomorrow,

and unwrap my favourite gift.

Meow!

Rrreow!

Really?

Augh! What are y'all doing here?

We were worried sick about you!

And we're just looking for a ride.

Well, I guess I have been nervous

about things lately, but there's no time for that.

We know what we gotta do downstairs.

So come on, clock's ticking, and we gotta fly.

We gotta clean up before it's too late.

Randy, what's going on?

Shh! I'm on a stakeout.

Don't you shush me!

I am...

Hey, man.

What's up?

Oh, just me hearing about your plans to clean up

before it's too late because, you know, the clock's ticking.

Exactly, and I'd rather the missus not see the house

in its current state.

Exactly, which sounds to me like more code...

for a jewelry heist.

I think the altitude up here

is having an adverse effect on your cognitive skills.

Let's head down

and get the crazy back to manageable.

Sounds good.

Why, after you, Mr. Claus.

Or should I say Mr. Kringle?

Must be hard keeping track of all those aliases.

Randy, what's my name?

Reverend... Santa?

- Let's go. - Is it not?

It's not "Reverend Santa," Randy.

I like the mall after close, empty like this.

Hey, everything okay with you?

Rev keeps asking me the same thing.

I guess it's just always been kind of tough

seeing kids being kids.

You know, holiday cheer and things I missed out on.

It's never too late,

especially when you have people you want to share it with.

Yeah, well, that's the thing.

I do, but I think I messed it up already.

You just gotta think,

"What can I do better next time?"

Hey, Marge!

Hey!

What's all this?

Oh, nothing. Just left something behind.

Yeah?

What's that?

The Christmas Star.

Looks like someone has a little bit too much

egg in their noggin.

I have ears.

Not another word until you're out.

Just relax, man, okay?

It's hard to "relax, man," when you've

stopped a major crime and the world will never know.

Bruce Wayne, I feel you, buddy.

Uh, Randy?

Security locks activate on all the doors

when we shut down the power.

It's totally normal. Although...

Not while you're still in here.

Yeah, Randy here in C Wing,

trying to bounce Santa.

What's going on?

Can you un-lockdown for a sec?

This normal, too?

Chilly Willy?

Dandy Randy.

His nickname for me.

Same reason I came back.

- For real? - Same reason.

Wow.

Chilly here is a pro,

and he also thought you might be up to something.

- You know, great minds, etc. - That's great.

Can we please go home now?

I'm gonna need you guys to give me your cell phones.

Phones? Wait, okay, look,

all we gotta do is just grab our stuff and go home...

Gimme the walkie. Go get their phones.

Right, right. Phones!

For security purposes.

Mine's in my jacket in Santa's Village.

We were just heading over there.

Look, there's no need

to get your tinsel in a tangle, alright?

There's no need for the gun.

Well, we, uh... we got a tip.

Yeah, yeah, an anonymous tip about a possible theft,

so we just gotta play it safe.

But if you guys want to follow me to the office,

we can sort this all out.

Or we can talk right here.

I seriously need you to zip it.

Okay.

It's nice to be seriously needed.

Follow me.

Partridge, I'm bringing you four more chestnuts to roast.

Copy that.

Four more yule logs to chop.

Four new candies to cane.

- Roger. - No, it's me, Chilly.

I'm bringing you four more people.

We gotta make this...

Man has to have some respect!

Run!

Ooh!

Chilly!

Don't just stand there!

Hello?

Hello-o-o...

Nice echo.

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la...

Laaa!

Okay... So now what?

Hey, hey! Where's Chilly?

We were ambushed.

I barely got away and...

What the...?

I, uh...

knew it!

I knew it!

It was all of them!

The whole Christmas crew, and I saw right through it.

And her, I guess these days even a woman can be the inside man.

Welcome to the new world order.

Solid work.

Randy, mall security, and I do appreciate the assist.

So, what's our plan?

Nice to meet you, Randy.

Okay!

Well, first, we remove the jewels,

relocate them to a secure location.

- Makes total sense. - No it doesn't!

Can't you see he's the real thief?

Good luck trying to fill my head

with your conspiracy theories.

Nothing gets in here.

Yeah, we know. Randy, call the cops.

Let's figure it out with them.

Oh, I bet you'd love that, but...

we shouldn't do that?

What, and let them be heroes?

No!

No, we find the bad people, we lock them up here first,

then we call the cops. Hey...

Isn't it our time to shine?

I do believe it is, my good man.

What, seriously? You believe that?

Now, you were probably in on the last heist too,

weren't you? Once a thief, always a thief.

Okay, Randy, go help Chilly round up the others.

As long as they're free, the Christmas Star

will never be safe.

It issafe!

It's literally in the safe!

It's literally in a safe.

Yeah, that youhave the code to!

So really, it couldn't be in any more danger, could it?

Ooh, he's got you there.

You...

That Randy's a special kind of special,

isn't he? I like him.

I really didn't leave my cell phone in the village.

Good! I can probably get there if...

No, no, no, you stay here.

It's too dangerous. I'm not letting you go.

I am not gonna lose you.

But I can do it.

Not letting me go is only gonna backfire when I run,

'cause I run faster than you.

Okay, okay, okay! We'll both go.

Uh... and bothget caught?

Dad, I love you, but we're only gonna lose each other

if you don't let go of me.

Whoa...

Come on, come on! Go, go, go, go!

Oh... What'd she hit me with?

A bag of doorknobs or something?

Ugh...

Eeny, meeny, miney, moe...

Great, now he's gonna get to my phone first.

Nope.

Follow me.

And keep up!

Oh...

If we can get to the front doors,

we can try and signal for help, use these things as covers.

Come on!

Gabs, come on!

Psst!

Hello?

Anyone here?

We're securing the Christmas Star,

so the smartest thing you can do right now is just surrender.

Who's there?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Well, looky looky looky!

Hello there!

Huh.

Let me guess, I open you,

and a tarantula jumps onto my face.

I'm not falling for any dumb traps, people!

Remember who you're dealing with.

Come on, Partridge.

I thought this life was behind you.

Well, it will be.

So far behind I won't even be able to catch a glimpse

past the palm trees and pina coladas.

You know, it's a shame, though, because it's gonna look like

the temptation was just too great for you,

that you stole the jewels and then you vanished

with your friends.

Vanished?

Vanished.

But first, it's time to open my present.

Can't do that.

Go on, tell him, Nas.

The safe is wired into a uniquely coded system

that supplies a combination.

With the power shut off, network's down,

and I can't get the new combo.

So how do we get the power back on?

How?

Well, I-I can still use the computer.

It's on the same backup as the emergency lights.

Okay, great!

So that's what we're gonna do,

but only until the safe is open, and then right back off again.

You understand?

Woo!

I've seen that look before in a woman,

and it never ends well for me. Imagine that.

Hm.

So, the kid here is gonna do it

while I stand watch with Rudolph.

And trust me on this, guys,

you do not want to make his nose glow red.

Because if you are rude...

he will go off.

Rude-off!

What?

Shh, shh, shh!

If we get to the phone first,

even with bad reception we can send an SOS.

Just tell me where it is

and I can probably get to it before he does.

We'll go together.

Ah...

The dark is so stupid. You can't see nothing.

Alright, the mall's power is about to come back on,

and then I get a new code.

Where's the jacket?

Wait... all the smoke machines are linked.

If the power's on, they all are.

Who's he talking to?

What are you doing? Hey!

- Come here! - Go, go, go, go!

Hey, what is this? What's going on?!

I can't breathe!

I really hope this isn't a gas leak.

I got you.

Stalking through a winter wonderland

I got ya...

Oh... sorry, your Holy Motherness.

Hold up.

If the power's on,

then that must mean the security locks are off.

We can get to the roof and signal for help!

Okay, come on.

Ah? Ah...

It's like a Snoop Dogg concert.

What's happening? Open it!

I might have missed my window.

The numbers change if you don't do it fast enough.

Well, then do it faster this time.

I will.

I'm getting the code right now.

Got it.

Turn everything back off!

Well, I just need a couple seconds to...

Power down, now!

What?

What?

With all the off and on,

the system has gone into override.

Oh, I've got a way. Move.

Move!

Merry Christmas.

Figgy pudding!

We can still make it to my phone before he does.

Oh.

Funny weather we're having.

Cloudy with a chance of meathead.

Good thing I found my new jacket.

The computer's shot.

Literally.

Well, it's a good thing you're a smart kid.

Right?

Nas, bubby, figure something out.

Come on, "Die Hard"?

Right?

Somebody?

Anybody?

Gruber?

Alright, forget it.

Just figure something out, kid.

You got a minute.

That's 60 seconds. Go.

You thought you were pretty clever, huh?

With your fog machine.

Proof of concept... go pockodile!

And this is right where I left it!

Ow, get it off!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Come on!

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no! - What?

1%. Uh, it's okay.

- It's okay, it's okay! - Dad!

9... 1...

Uh, my hands are so sweaty!

- Dad! - It's alright.

9... 1...

Oh, it's dead.

Okay!

Time's up.

What's the solution?

Okay, I can do it, but I need my laptop

and it's back in the village.

You're killing me.

Ouch!

- Have you seen anyone? - No.

- How's the head? - It's fine.

- I'm more worried about this now. - What the heck is that?

I don't know, but it really hurts!

- Okay, gimme the walkie. - Okay.

Stay frosty, snowman.

My name is not Snowman!

We can't give up, Gabs.

No matter how difficult it gets, no matter what...

I got ya!

Chilly!

Double-time it back to the village.

I need you to grab the kid's laptop.

Hurry it up.

Copy that.

Heading north.

Chilly!

Come out to the mall, we'll get together,

have a few laughs!

- Really? - That's "Die Hard," bro.

Thank you!

Please, go make like Christmas Eve

and wrap things up. Yeah?

I get things.

Okay, another minute and I should be able to trick

the dual core by spoofing its signature integration.

It's a good thing the power's out.

He would have just set off a nerd alert.

I'm kidding! Kid, I'm impressed.

You're like the hacker in "Die Hard."

Yet another awesome reference I'm sure you don't get.

Let me get this straight...

Are you telling me you've never seen

the greatest Christmas movie of all time?

No, I haven't seen it.

It's unbelievable.

I mean, we're only talking about an almost perfect movie.

Almost!

Except for the end when they drop the hero off the building

and they let that maniac cop, John McClane, live...

which is completely ridiculous!

Okay, okay, you got this.

Stick with the plan.

- Whoa! - Aah!

Oh my God!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Oh!

Okay, everybody get in!

Get in, get in!

Thank God y'all are okay.

But I'm not gonna let them get you again!

We'll keep them out there and stay in here forever

- if we have to. - Ugh, Dad!

That's just it... nothing will ever happen to me, ever!

Because you don't give me any space.

I...

I don't think we're talking about the same thing, Skip.

There's some pretty bad guys out there.

Of course I don't mean now.

I mean... always.

It's like what Gabs said to me earlier.

Gabs says a lot of things.

You know me!

What was it this time?

It was about being scared.

This whole not letting me grow up thing is...

it's you being scared of it happening.

Well, I think that there's a big difference between

not letting you and not wanting you to.

Yeah.

But it doesn't feel like it.

Not with you.

Well, I mean, maybe I am scared.

You growing up means you leaving.

Yeah. And that's gonna happen, too.

This is weird.

What?

You talking to me like a grown-up.

Momma would say,

"Get used to it."

So you lost them again?

Yeah, but not on purpose.

Amazing. That's just...

It's amazing.

Okay, you know what?

We'll have the jewels any second now, so forget the others.

We'll just lock them out of the basement as we jingle

all the way out of the sewers,

tying up all loose ends in a perfect, little bow.

When we blow up the mall!

Hey, buddy.

Quick question... "Blow up the mall"?

Now, is that like a cool new way of saying

"We're gonna leave"?

You know, like, "Let's blow this Popsicle stand."

Why would anybody want to blow up a Popsicle stand?

It was a saying.

I don't even know what a Popsicle stand is.

Whatever, you're acting really weird right now.

- Are we cool? - We're cool.

So...

Are you blowing up the mall?

- No? - Okay!

That's good. That's a good thing.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So this is taking a long time, huh?

Maybe you could source us some snacks or something.

Absolutely!

Don't want you to get hangry.

You might end up... blowing up the mall!

No, I'm not!

- The power's off, Randy. - I know.

I was the one that told you that.

Partridge, you still there?

Uh, yeah, not for long.

Blow up the mall?

We have to find the others and get them out.

They could be anywhere.

But I think I know how we can find them.

- You almost done? - Yeah, you done?

Let's find out.

Let's find out.

Okay, now we can power up.

Okay, and getting the code now.

Okay, now turn it off again.

Okay, back away.

Back.

Ice, ice, baby...

- Hey, no! - Go!

- Supply room! - I don't know where that is!

I'll be right behind you.

- Marge... - Yeah?

Ow!

Argh!

Aah!

Ow!

Hey, Skipper?

We were just talking about being scared.

It made me start thinking.

Made me realize I don't tell you all enough how much I need you,

how grateful I am that we have each other.

The lord put us together for a reason,

to help each other when we need it most.

Because together, we can do just about anything.

If we work together now, no one's getting in.

Exactly. So come on, let's do this.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Psst!

How did you get here?

You okay? Where's Nas?

Nas got out, too.

But we need to find him

and get out before they blow this place up!

What?!

Come on, y'all!

Turn the other cheek, there's another door behind you!

Hark, the herald angels sing!

Glory to our newfound bling!

- Ha, nice. - Eh?

- Can I see it? - No.

Oh, we might be too late!

Let's blow this Popsicle stand, huh?

Ha! I told you that was a saying!

I didn't say it wasn't,

I just don't know why it's a saying.

Oh, the gates were all down, but you know,

it's crazy how much perfectly good food

people just throw away.

I mean, who says to themselves,

"Yeah, I only really needed half a corndog"?

Who eats half a corndog?

Dummies.

Don't answer. Don't answer.

Nas, you in here?

Nas?

Where is he?

If we don't find him fast before those guys make it

to the basement tunnels, we are done for.

But they ain't going anywhere without the star.

Too bad, they already have it.

For now.

Are we thinking what you're thinking, Rev?

I think you are.

They won't blow up the mall without those jewels,

- so all we gotta do... - That's right.

We got to steal back what they stole first.

It's time for a Christmas heist.

Well, Rev, I'm in.

If I creep up on them,

I think I have a way to steal back that case.

Okay, but be careful.

You be careful.

Just keep 'em busy until we're ready here.

So, Rev, you got a plan?

Not yet.

But you know what they say:

it takes a village.

Now let's deck their halls!

With temporary power back-up in the village,

this is where we make our stand.

So, we've secured the package.

Can you remind me what's next?

Hey, what the heck!

Okay, I'm calling a team meeting right now.

Sorry, Randy.

Hey, who's there?

Forget this. We should just go.

Are you laughing at me?

I said, who's there?

Augh!

Okay.

Hey! She's stealing the jewels back!

Let's go!

Slow down, slow down! We're just trying to talk to ya!

Oh, little dumb-er boys!

What are you...

Let's go!

Get ready. Here we come!

Keep stalling! We need more time!

I'm trying!

Alright! These reindeer games are over.

Reverend, we're out of time!

And out of luck!

Now, very carefully, put the jewel case down.

Careful...

If you say so.

No, no, no!

My groin, my groin!

Hey!

Whoa!

Augh!

Hey! Whoa, hold up!

Well, well, well, looks like Santa got his hand

caught in the cookie jar.

Who, me?

I-I'm not Santa.

That guy is probably over in Mexico by now.

No kidding!

That's where I'm supposed to be.

What the...

Silent night.

A little too silent.

Alright, Randy, climb the ladder, grab the jewels.

Chilly, stand watch.

Oh, come on!

I got it!

Ah!

Ow!

Oof...

I'm good!

Yeah, I'm good.

Oh, what is this, camel poop?

It's toffee.

Okay, places, everybody.

Hey, back up, train!

Aah!

I can't see!

I can't hear! What's happening?!

Randy! Randy, where are you?

Aah!

What the...?

Aah...

Aah...

Chilly?

Chilly? Chilly?

Chilly?

Oh...

Partridge? Is that you?

Quit goofing off!

Listen to me: I was thinking we can pin all of this

on Marge and Randy working as a team.

- What do you think? - Yeah, yeah.

- Good, yeah. - Good.

I'm gonna finish this off.

- Watch my back. - Huh?

- Watch my back! - Okay.

Ugh...

Uh-oh!

Oh! Argh!

Oof!

That hurts.

Chilly Willy?

Rocks beat scissors!

Yes!

Oh, that guy just got his sleigh bells rung!

Is it too late to get off your naughty list?

Never.

I'm sorry I doubted you, Reverend Wright.

It takes a big man to admit he's wrong.

It's snow over the mountain.

And for calling you names like Crisp Pringles.

Alright.

And Santa Blobs.

Alright, Randy.

- Old Saint Thick. - No.

Hey, where's Skipper?

- Where you been? - Nas!

I hate to ruin the reunion,

but look who's holding all the Christmas cards now.

Hey, hey, hey! Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!

See, this is where I disappear to a heaven on Earth

while you all earn rewards under 100 tons of rubble.

Let her go. Take me instead.

If you hurt her, I swear...

What? What?

What are you gonna do, elf boy? Hmm?

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-later!

Or more like never.

You know, you all should take the next few minutes

for goodbyes, because, uh, it's over!

Let's go.

Hey...

Marge, I know you have ways of getting to the basement

- before he does. - I'm coming with you.

I know she's your daughter, alright?

But you're all my family, and I need you, Jack,

I need you to get the rest of the group to safety, alright?

Please trust me.

- Hold on, Rev, you... - Hey...

I feel the same way, but I gotta split.

Just tell me later, alright?

I will see you again.

Alright.

Best two out of three, Randy...

I'm comin'!

Ah, ah, ah!

Don't think you're getting the jewels back again, Reverend.

You had your chance.

It's not about the jewels.

I got people I care about and I'm not leaving without them.

Aw, that's sweet.

But I'll do you one better...

You're not leaving at all.

But hey, at least you lived long enough to see Christmas, right?

And five bullets means I brought

shiny new presents for everyone.

Everyone?

You didn't think we'd go without you, did you?

Enough already!

There's just one last thing I want to say,

because you almost completely ruined my favourite holiday...

Go elf yourself!

Okay, it wasn't that funny.

Ah!

Hey, hey!

Augh!

Yippee ki-yay, stocking stuffer.

Augh!

Donny, bubby,

"Die Hard" is my favourite movie of all time.

Yeah, I really thought we were buddies.

But it was all just a crock.

Alright, thank you.

Cops on the way.

So, uh...

You were saying something earlier?

Just that I'm sorry.

I got so mad and...

I thought you were turning your back on me.

Never gonna happen, Nas.

I mean, the only reason we got through this

is because we got through it together.

Yeah.

I think being together...

makes us all better.

Better together!

Amen to that!

Nas, you don't know how much you helped me.

Hey, Gabs.

Hey, well, I did wait until Christmas morning!

Oh!

Ah!

Guess who's going to Paris?

Really?

Thank you, Charles.

For everything.

Thank you, sir.

Mm-hm, same to you.

That was Mr. Himmel Jewellers himself.

Said that he's gonna triple what you raised

- for the Children's Hospital. - Oh!

- For real? - Mm-hm!

The man said we saved Christmas.

It was the least he could do.

I'm so glad you guys are safe!

I was almost home when I got your text.

Oh, no tears. Everyone's fine.

No, that's not why I'm emotional.

We just took the test too early.

I took it again last night.

Is this a plus sign?

It sure is.

Because we're about to have a plus one.

You're excited, right?

Whoa, whoa!

It's okay, it's okay! I rejigged it.

Relax!

Ha-ha! Oh!

Oh, wow...

Baby, I couldn't be more excited for us

to be parents together.

This is the best Christmas gift ever.

I wrapped your gift today

Tied a pretty ribbon all around

Wrote a few words down

Read it to myself to see how they sound.

Guys!

Guess who's having a baby?

Just how much you mean to me

I got your Christmas right here.

So...

What are you lookin' at?

You think I won't fight a child?

I'll fight a child!

That's right.

Can I say it first?

You're sweating profusely.

Oh, it's the Spandex. It's not breathable.

Talk to the Rev; we'll get cotton fibres next time.

Faith Heist 2!

And cut!