Original subtitles

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪

♪

♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪

♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey oh ♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Let"s go, let's go ♪

♪ Here he comes, banana slamma ♪

The nectar of the Purple

Banana Tu: perfect.

My kongo-bongo gone-wrongo

vaccination is all ready.

Now, where shall I set everyone up?

I feel like I"ve been kicked

and keelhauled.

If I can just find a place to

rest my weary wings.

[Skidding]

Apes ahoy!

[Wings whirring]

[Crashing]

CRANKY: Yow!

[Whizzing]

[Thudding]

Yow, ow!

Uh, oh.

[Snoring]

Hi, Cranky.

We"re here for our vaccination shot.

[Gasping]

CANDY: Cranky, what happened?

It beats the bananas out of me.

I must have slipped a wrist.

You"re just in time, girls.

I"ve got your kongo-bongo

gone-wrongo vaccination shot all ready.

There you go, girls.

All set.

No chance of getting kongo-bongo

gone-wrongo disease now.

What exactly is kongo-bongo

gone-wrongo disease anyway?

♪ First you get the chills

from your head to your toes ♪

♪ Then your nose starts to run

until it overflows ♪

♪ Next you"re sneezing so hard

you"ll throw out your back ♪

♪ Then wham ♪ Laryngitis stops you

dead in your tracks ♪

♪ When you"re shaking so bad

and chilled to the bone ♪

♪ You"re colder than a yeti

or banana ice cone ♪

♪ You shiver and you quiver ♪

♪ You feel weak and real old

♪ You"re freezing cold and wheezing ♪

♪ You look greener than mould

♪ The only cure

is the nectar of Tin Banana Tu ♪

♪ It"s like having the flu

times a hundred and two ♪

♪ You"ll wind up in bed

but you"ll wish you were dead ♪

♪ A disease that goes right to your head ♪

♪ Your voice gets all raspy

until you can"t talk ♪

♪ You can"t speak and it feels

like you swallowed a sock ♪

♪ Soon you"ll hear the sound

of your brain cells go pop ♪

♪ Until there"s nothing left ♪

♪ Oh no please make it stop ♪ The only cure

is the nectar of Tin Banana Tu ♪

♪

How do you get the disease?

No one knows for sure, Candy,

but it"s believed that a

tropical toucan is the carrier.

[Snoring]

Well at least now I see the

importance of getting vaccinated.

You"d have to be a big goofus

doofus not to.

No, DK, I don"t want to.

You can"t make me.

Hi, Candy, Dix.

Hi, girls.

Bye, girls.

Relax, Diddy.

There"s nothing to be afraid of.

But I hate needles.

[Screaming]

You"re going to have your

vaccination whether you like it or not.

Banana slam dunka!

[Squawking]

[Diddy groaning]

Donkey Kong"s right.

Stop being a little sniveller

and bend over.

DIDDY: Oh, gee!

[Screaming]

Gee, Diddy, you"re a tough

little fella.

I know your coconut puff cereal

is rich in iron but... Whoa!

Urgh!

What a riot, what a gas!

[Laughing]

Cranky"s dumber than a monkey"s...

Ow, jeeping jungle box!

What was that?

Ohhh!

CRANKY: Okay, DK, you"re next.

[Sander buzzing]

Oh, if only I could remember

what it was.

This is so frustrating.

What"s wrong, you pimply

pock-coned callousedness, sir?

I"m trying to remember a dream.

Oh, I just love dreams.

I had one the other nothing

where a big pickle monster was

duking it out with Mr. Cheese.

It was scrumdilious.

Yow, ow!

Watch where you"re sanding, you

mindless cretin!

This dream was special.

I had conquered the apes.

I was victorious but, oh, I

don"t remember how I did it!

So be quiet.

Let me use my brain.

Oh-ha-ha, that"s your tall

order on any day, matey.

Well, if it isn"t Polly

Roger, the brainless buzzard.

Everyone knows you"re a

double-crossing pilfering parrot

who"d sell his own mother to get

a single cracker.

Are you making me an offer?

Go away, birdbrain.

I need solitude so that I can

delve into the furthest reaches

of my cerebral genius.

That vaccination shot really hurt.

I can"t think of anything more painful.

Umph!

Urgh!

[Crashing]

Oh, except for that.

[Diddy laughing]

It"s not funny, little buddy.

I"m not laughing at you, DK.

I"m laughing at me.

[Diddy tittering]

[Fake laughter] Ha-ha, oh,

yeah, good one, little... [Diddy laughing]

I don"t get it.

Well, I pulled a fast one on Cranky.

Ha!

He thinks he gave me a

vaccination, but he didn"t!

Oh, ho-ha-ha-ha.

[Diddy laughing]

Diddy... Who did he give it to?

He gave it to... [Laughing]

Two coconuts!

[Laughing]

Are they sick?

No, you doofus.

I didn"t get the vaccine.

The coconuts did.

Oh, never mind.

You"d better get going,

otherwise you"ll be late for

your s-s-s-surfing lesson.

What"s wrong, little buddy?

I don"t know.

I just got a ch-chill or

something, but I"m okay.

You"d better go.

Are you sure you"re okay?

Yeah.

Okay, see you later.

Gee, I don"t f-f-feel so good.

Maybe I"ll see if C-c-cranky

has anything for a c-c-cold.

[Sniffling]

I"ll take a shortcut through K. Rool"s.

It"s f-f-f-faster.

A-a-a-achoo!

A-a-a-achoo!

[Sniffling]

Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop,

hip-hop, hip-hop.

KING K. ROOL: General Klump, come in.

Over.

Yes, your Sinister Slipperiness?

Stop what you"re doing and

return to headquarters immediately.

But, sir, we"re on EIP duty:

Enemy Invasion Patrol, which is

kind of an oxymoron since no

enemy could invade this

impenetrable fortress.

The only moron present is you!

Now shut your piehole and get

your low IQ back to HQ, ASAP,

you M-O-R-O-N!

I"ve finally remembered how to

conquer the apes!

[Suppressing sneeze]

Ten-four, sir.

Over and out.

A-choo!

Urgh, what ta-hooties was that?

Just us b-b-bushes.

Have a nice day.

Well, mighty neighbourly of

you, fellow flora and fauna phenomena.

You have yourself a fine day too.

Hip-hop, hip-hop.

"Conquer the apes?"

Oh, no.

I"ve got to warn d-d-d-DK.

A-choo!!

Okay, Donkey Dude, fasten

your surf belt and get ready to

glide a ride and swerve a curve

on a cosmic tide.

I"m totally psyched, Funky.

BIDDY: A-choo!

A-choo!

DONKEY KONG: Little buddy, I

thought you were going to

Cranky"s to check on that cold.

I-I-I-I had to come b-b-back

and w-w-warn you.

A-choo!

[Sniffling]

Warn me about what?

In the j-j-j-jungle, I

s-s-s-saw... crrrgh... Crrgh... >> Coconuts?

Candy?

Chimpanzee saw some merengue dancers?

I think I"d better take you back

to Cranky"s.

[Diddy gasping]

I think the little dude is

trying to slip you a tip.

[Diddy gasping]

Charades, okay, okay, okay.

I"m really good at this.

Go for it.

♪

♪ Two words ♪ First word "sing"

♪ Sounds like "sing"

♪ A bing, ping, ring ♪ Dingaling

♪

♪ Second word sounds like "cool" ♪

♪ Sounds like "cool"

♪ Who"ll, tool, drool, fool ♪

♪ Oh, I got it ♪ I got it

♪ You wanna sing a dingaling

like a cool dancin" fool ♪

♪ Donkey dude you got it all wrong ♪

♪ Like your head was on stun

♪ While you were singin"

this song ♪

♪ It"s desperate ♪

♪ It"s urgent ♪

♪ Cause Kongo Bongo Island

is headed for doom ♪

[Stuttering]

Say no more.

We are moving and grooving.

[Gasping]

Don"t you worry.

You just get to Cranky"s and

take care of yourself.

We"ll take care of everything else.

[Engine roaring]

So what was that about anyway?

Little dude said the banana

plantation is overrun.

We need to thin it out a little.

That"s my kind of catastrophe.

Banana slamma!

[Coughing]

I d-d-don"t f-f-feel so good.

You"ll feel even worse if you

interrupt King K. Rool, so zip it!

I want to go rally the entire

squadron of Kritter troops.

Affirmative, Your Supreme Evilness.

[Splattering]

I remember my dream.

I know how I conquered the apes.

[Laughing]

[Sneezing]

I want to announce it to the entire fleet.

I want... >> A-choo!!

To announce it with all the

pomp and circumstance you can

possibly muster.

[Krusha sneezing]

Oh, for the love of lizards,

what is wrong with you, Krusha?

[Suppressing sneeze]

I think he caught a cold, sir.

Nonsense, he was with you.

So how do you explain your immunity?

I never get sick, sir.

I consume no less than 100

garlic cloves a day, whether I

needs it or not.

[Burping]

Squawk, they wouldn"t go for

it, there"s a limit to what

they"ll put up with.

[Coughing]

Just gather the troops and... [Sneezing]

[Squelching]

[Shivering]

Ow-ee-ee-ee, sometimes I

think you have an extra long

needle just for me, Cranky.

Don"t be silly, Bluster.

CRANKY: Well, that"s the last

of the Tim Banana Tu vaccinations.

Everyone"s safe from kongo-bongo

gone-wrongo disease.

BIDDY: A-choo!

A-choo!!

Biddy, what"s wrong with you?

Urgh!

Speak up, will you.

A-choo!!

[Thudding]

[Yelling]

We don"t have time to play

your silly games.

Just spit it out!

[Groaning]

[Squeaking]

Funny, Diddy had all the

symptoms of kongo-bongo

gone-wrongo disease, but that"s

impossible.

I gave him his Tim Banana Tu

vaccination this morning.

[Squawking]

But he didn"t take it.

What?

How did you know, you two-bit

scum-sucking double dipper?

Well, hello to you too, fossil face.

Here"s your booty.

Cut to the chase.

Haw-haw-haw, you didn"t

vaccinate Diddy; you vaccinated

two coconuts.

Grrr, that little numskull!

Wouldn"t he need to be bitten

by a tropical toucan first?

Hello!

Not much happening in your

crow"s nest, is there?

Ha-ha-ha!

But if you bit Biddy... >> Uh!

That means that our beloved

little friend Diddy is...

Stealing your chopper.

[Engine roaring]

What, that little beast?

Stop right there, you bandit baboon!

Diddy, come back!

You need a Tin Banana Tu vaccination.

Oh, no, I don"t have anymore.

Haw-haw, the action just

never stops around here, does it?

I need more Tin Banana Tus!

I have to find DK so he can help Diddy.

Crystal Coconut, with your

magical way, use your powers to locate PK.

Zip, zam, wham, boom, bam,

teleport me using a hologram!

Kritter troops, prepare to

meet your maker.

ALL: Hurray!

Hurray, hurray!

A-choo!!

Krusha, I order you to be silent.

Oh, I was just... urgh...

Well done, soldier.

Militant mutants, mindless

minions and homespun... urrrh...

[Shivering] halfwits... urgh...

I, King K. Rool, Supreme Master

of Evil, come before you to

unfurl my... [Shivering] my

powerful plan to conquer the apes.

[Shivering]

A-a-a-a-choo!

[Spluttering]

My plan... use force by... urgh!

By silencing them?

By pointing the dirty finger and

wagging it at them harshly?

Don"t... >> My nasty hostile aggressive

force?

[Groaning]

I blow them up?

You want me to blow up the island?

Genius, sir, pure genius.

I"ll get on it right away.

Arggh!

I"ll start at the ape camp

and work my way back here, sir.

Argh!

Squawk, I"d help out,

ha-ha-ha, but I"m just a

brainless buzzard, a

double-crossing pilfering parrot

who"d sell his own mother to get

a single cracker.

[Squawking]

Hip-hop, hip-hop, we"re loyal

to K. Rool by blowing things up.

Hip-hop, hip-hop, Kritters!

March!

Hip-hop, hip-hop, hip-hop!

[Burping]

I"ve had enough bananas to

last a lifetime.

I couldn"t move even if a

10-ton animal was going to drop

out of the sky for no good... Ahh!

Argh!

[Mumbling]

Funky, do you know what he"s saying?

Squawk, what he"s trying to

say is K. Rool is going to blow

up the island.

Is that what you"re trying to

tell me, little buddy?

[Mumbling]

It"s a long story.

Better make tracks, D. Man.

Yeah, before it gets worse.

[Hissing]

Diddy"s got stage four of

kongo-bongo gone-wrongo disease.

If it goes to stage five, his

brain is going to start popping like corn.

BOTH: it just got worse!

He needs a vaccination.

It"s not that simple, Diddy.

I ran out of vaccine.

[Squealing]

DK, you"re going to have travel

to the far side of the White

Mountains to the plantation of

Tin Banana Tu.

The nectar from that banana is

the only thing that can save Diddy.

That"s really interesting,

but not as interesting as what

he"s about to tell you.

Well, I can"t go anywhere right now.

I have to stop K. Rool from

blowing up the island!

What?

At least it can"t get worse.

[Squawking]

Time is running out.

Who are you going to save: your

little sidekick or the whole island?

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

BOTH: It just got worse!

Aye, and on that note, I"m off.

[Diddy squealing]

An island without my little

buddy isn"t an island worth

living on, which is why I"m

going to do both.

I"m going to go to the Tin

Banana Tu plantation and bring

back a cure for Diddy.

Then I"m going to come back here

and stop K. Rool from blowing up

the island.

DK and Funky, you go get the

Tin Banana Tus.

Diddy, you get back to my cabin.

I"ll go find Klump to try to

knock some sense into that empty

skull of his.

[Thudding]

[Chuckling]

Hey, brain dead, I want to talk to you.

Do you even know what you"re doing?

Urgh, I"m, um, implementing

Operation Blow Up the Island by

order of King K. Rool.

He didn"t order this, you numbskull!

You got it wrong.

If you blow up the island, then

you blow up too.

Oh, I get it; it"s a trick.

You"re playing mind games with me.

You"d need a mind in order

for me to do that, you

cement-headed salamander.

Now call it off!

Only the High Commander CEO

of HQ can call off an operation.

Fine, fine, I"ll talk to K.

Rool!

[Sniffling]

Squawk, you think this is bad?

Ha-ha.

Wait until the brain-popping

stuff kicks in.

Ohhh!

There goes one now.

Blergh!

I know of a cure: the nectar

from the Tin Banana Tu.

Arrgh!

POLLY: Nice backhand, buccaneer!

Argh!

DONKEY KONG: The Tin Banana

Tu plantation.

Talk about good karma.

FUNKY: And one rocking pilot!

And talk about luck: just one

Tin Banana Tu left.

Squawk, that will be mine.

[Laughing]

Funny thing about karma: when

it"s good, whoa, it be sweet,

but when it"s bad, well, you know.

Wait a sec.

Who says we have to let him get

away with that?

[Squawking]

[Engine roaring]

[Mumbling incoherently]

[Brakes screeching]

[Squawking]

Grrr!

Listen up, matey.

I"m the captain of this here

booty, and the way I see it, I

could give it to either of you.

The question is, who"s got more to offer?

Ho, ho-ho-ho!

Your turn, banana breath.

I"ve got a really great tie collection.

[Mumbling]

Squawk!

By a landslide victory, the Tin

Banana Tu goes to King... Ow!

Banana slamma!

I"ve got the Tin Banana Tu!

What are you waiting for?

Take the cure back to Diddy!

Not so fast!

If K. Rool"s brain pops to

completion, then he can"t warn

Klump to back off Operation Blow

Up the Island.

Hmm-mmm.

He"s right, Donkey Kong.

What am I going to do?

If I don"t save Diddy, I'll lose

my little buddy, but if I don"t

save K. Rool, the whole island

is going to be raining coconuts.

Coconuts: that"s it!

Huh?

This is your only chance, K.

Rool.

I"ll give you the Tin Banana Tu,

but you have to promise to call

off your troops.

What about Diddy?

There"s no time to explain.

[Munching]

Whoa, I thought that only

worked with a needle.

I only use the needle for theatrics.

[Burping]

Trust me, you wouldn"t want

to eat a Tin Banana Tu either.

Oh, no, look, the talentless star Klump.

You homespun halfwit, come in!

I hope it"s not too late.

This is my finest hour.

K. ROOL: Klump, come in!

Do you read me?

[Moaning]

[Smashing coconuts]

[Vibrating]

Jeeping jungle bugs, I"m cured!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Banana slamma!

[Coconut whizzing]

[Smashing]

Mmm, yummy!

[Groaning]

[Crashing]

KING K. ROOL: Klump, stop, stop!!

[Ground rumbling]

Yow!

Yoo-oo, hoo-hoo!

Oh!

FUNKY: When karma is sweet!

POLLY: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Squawking]

Yo-ho-ho and a... oh!

Ah, forget it.

♪