Original subtitles

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪

♪

♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh, ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪

♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey oh ♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Let"s go, let's go ♪

♪ Here he comes, banana slamma ♪

No way, DK.

There"s no way that mutant

prehistoric lizard could have

beat up the giant ape.

Chill out, little buddy.

It"s just a movie.

It"s a lousy movie.

That lizard stomped an entire

city to smithereens.

All the ape did was climb up

some stupid building.

But the ape had heart.

I mean, you felt something for it.

And he got the girl.

[Laughing]

[Crashing]

Hey, what"s up at Cranky's?

[Zapping]

CRANKY: Next!

All right, stand still or I

won"t get a clear picture.

Don"t sweat it.

I"m in alpha state.

[Laughing]

I"m in the drone zone.

Cool!

Good ride.

Back side 180 off the lip.

Stop moving, you moron!

I"m taking an x-ray of your brain.

Cool.

I"ll take an 8 by 10 and three

wallet size.

The brain is already wallet size.

Now stop moving.

[Zapping]

Whoa-ho-ho!

How does it look?

Shipwrecked.

Cool!

A serious case of water on the brain.

Hey, Diddy, how was the movie?

Bogus!

Mmm, you smell delicious, Candy.

Thanks, DK.

It"s called "Banana Dreams."

No wonder I like it so much.

[Zapping]

Whoa!

What"s going on?

What are K. Rool"s goons doing here?

Cranky"s breaking in his

new x-ray machine.

Free x-rays for everyone on Kongo Bongo!

Even for the Pond Gacks.

All right, lizards, today is the day.

Yeah, right.

Heard this story before.

Today, we will take over Kongo Bongo.

At this very moment, Krusha has

bravely infiltrated Cranky"s

cabin under the guise of

getting a medical exam to

seize the Crystal Coconut.

Once that beautiful orb is in

my possession, Kongo Bongo will

fall at my feet!

[Maniacal laughter]

CRANKY: Ah, fascinating.

No brain.

I might have suspected.

Oh, great, it slipped a little.

All right, smarty pants, one more sec.

I"m gonna run another test.

[Explosion]

Lousy mail order hunk of junk!

This is the second time it"s

malfunctioned!

I want a refund!

Oh, goody.

CRANKY: That"s it.

I"ve had it.

Piece of trash.

That"s more like it.

Krusha, you big baboon, where did you go?

Krusha?

Oh, well.

Next!

My turn!

Ahem!

I don"t think so.

You"re going to butt in?

No, no, no.

I"m just taking my rightful

place as Bluster, the most

prominent citizen in all of Kongo Bongo.

What a heartless... Mean...

Inconsiderate... Selfish... ALL: Windbag!

[Clock ticking]

[Bell dinging]

I am a remarkable specimen.

Sound of mind, body of a Greek God.

Yeah, ha-ha, Bloopo, the God of fat heads.

[All laughing]

Your turn, Candy.

No, I can"t.

Now my lunch hour is up.

It"s you, Dixie.

Pass, gotta scram.

See ya around, Diddy, DK.

CRANKY: I don"t believe it.

The result of my check-up, no doubt.

Come on, let"s go in.

What"s up, Cranky?

I"ve got Bluster's x-rays

here and it doesn"t look good.

Whatever"s wrong, it's terminal.

Huh?

Yikes!

It looks awful!

Oh, no.

Here"s the problem.

Wow, it"s totally falling apart.

I give it a week, max.

A week?

A measly little week is all I have left?

Nothing we can do.

Kaput!

Kaput?

[Crying]

Oh, cruel twist of fate!

So young, so handsome, so brave.

Why me, why me?

Why not somebody poor and unattractive?

I have so much to live for.

My charm, my good looks.

My mommy"s money.

What a sad, sad day for poor old me.

Well, at the very least, I have

my reputation.

Oh, no, my reputation.

Unless I change it, turn over a new leaf.

One whole week to make my mark in history.

One whole week to become...

Bluster the Benevolent.

♪

♪ I will be remembered

as a straight-up, honest guy ♪

♪ Who will gladly give his life

to save the average passerby ♪

♪ They"ll erect a stature

in honour of me ♪

♪ A monument to symbolize my bravery ♪

♪ Bluster the Benevolent ♪ Hailed as a king

♪ Blessing one and all

instead of cursing everything ♪

♪ I would hand out daisies and

rescue kittens from a tree ♪

♪ And pick up all the litter

that falls in front of me ♪

♪ Maybe they will name a city after me ♪

♪ With plaques on every building ♪

♪ Signs of my nobility

♪ Bluster the Benevolent ♪ Hailed as a god

♪ Spreading joy and love

♪ Instead of bumbling like a clod ♪

♪ Bluster the Benevolent

♪ Wins the Nobel prize ♪ For bringing

world peace about ♪

♪ In the blink of an eye

Where is that imbecile Krusha?

Where is my Coconut?

I"m back, your highness.

And guess what I got?

Oh, at last, the Coconut.

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

Give me that beautiful orb of power.

Uh, presenting the Crystal Coconut.

Hit it.

BOTH: Ta-da!

Ta-da... oops.

Wrong hand.

Ta-da!

Yikes!

Well, where is it?

It-it-it was right here.

I-I-I had it right here.

All right, where is it, guys?

Well, you stole it from

Cranky"s, then we went to the

swamp for refreshments, then,

oh, then there was that very cute lizard.

Yeah, right.

And I handed her the Coconut and...

You handed her the Coconut?!

Uh, uh-oh.

I didn"t get it back.

Uh, back in a jiffy.

The brains of a newt!

Hold on, stand back!

Stand back, everyone!

Bluster the Benevolent is here.

Come on through, Cranky.

All clear.

Out of my way, you nitwit.

When I"m gone to the big

banana patch in the sky, be sure

to tell everyone about Bluster

the Benevolent.

I"m off to do more good deeds.

I"ll tell them about you all right.

Ahhhh!

I"ll tell them about Bluster the Buffoon!

Whoa!

[Changing stations]

Hang 10, hang 11, hang 12, hang 13.

Channel surfing, killa!

WOMAN ON TV: This is the

gadget hour on Shop "Til You Drop...

BLUSTER: Oooh, Candy!

The gorilla of my dreams.

Yeow!

What is she doing?

CANDY: A one, two, dip.

Stretch, one, two.

A signal!

Hang 58.

[Woman screaming on TV]

Excellent!

Horror flick.

WOMAN ON TV: Save me!

Help, save me!

Bluster the Benevolent to the rescue!

What"s that?

Whoa!

Ahhh!

[Crashing]

Have no fear, Bluster"s here!

My condo!

What are you doing, you fat-head!

Do I look like I need saving?!

Uh, no, but if you had needed

saving, I would have saved you.

[Chuckling]

Forgive me, Candy, but I"ve

turned over a new leaf.

This is the new me.

Bluster, you trashed my condo

and Funky"s place.

You"re a menace to the whole island.

Oh, forget your crummy little condo.

Marry me, Candy.

Yes!

And we can live out my last

golden days together in the

cushy luxury of my mother"s mansion.

You have lost it.

Not quite.

But before I do, I"m offering

you an opportunity of a lifetime.

The opportunity to become

Mrs. Bluster the Benevolent.

The brave widow of a national hero.

[All crying]

Testing, testing... [Crying continues]

Oh, Bluster, our friend,

our bravest, kindest and richest citizen.

No one will ever fill his spats.

I"m sorry, I can't go on.

A righteous dude and a real party animal.

Hang 10 for me on that killer

wave in the sky, big guy.

[Crying]

He was the greatest!

We had a lot of laughs.

But... that"s all for now.

Bluster, oh, Bluster the

Benevolent, you were so perfect.

The perfect gentleman.

The perfect husband.

[Crying]

Bluster, get real!

It"s all true, so true.

I was wonderful, wasn"t I?

I miss me.

Get over yourself.

Now what are you going to do

about my condo?

Wait!

If you"re my widow, that means

you inherit it all.

The Barrelworks are yours.

Really?

Yes, my sweetiekins.

[Clock ticking]

I"m waiting.

Where is Krusha?!

Uh, right here, your mightiness.

It"s about time.

Give it here.

Oh, my Coconut.

[Laughing]

[Bird squawking]

No way, DK, it just wasn"t a fair fight.

The giant ape was 100% ape

but the lizard was some mutant

science experiment gone bonkers.

It was just a movie, little buddy.

Huh?

Ah... um...

Good morning, gentlemen.

It"s not easy becoming a legend

with such a short deadline.

Deadline, what a horrible word.

Whatcha got there, Bluster?

They happen to be the

blueprints for Bluster the

Benevolent"s memorial.

Ta-da!

Bluster Kong Memorial?

Uh, what for?

Hmph!

Oh, please, don"t try to spare me.

I heard you and Cranky talking

about how I"m not long for this

world, might last another week, then kaput.

We weren"t talking about you.

That was Cranky"s x-ray machine.

It went kablooey.

I can take it.

Don"t sugar coat it for me.

I"ve made arrangements for everything.

Do you think the 50-foot

life-like statue is too much?

BOTH: Yes.

Good.

Bluster, unfortunately,

you"re gonna be hanging out a long time.

It"s so sweet of you to try

to cheer up poor terminal me.

But I can handle the truth.

I"m off to do more good deeds

before I head for the big

banana plantation in the sky.

He didn"t believe us.

What a dope.

[Laughing]

He thinks he gonna kick.

We got to find some way to

make him believe us or Bluster

the Benevolent is gonna kill us

all with his good deeds.

ALL: Hail to King K. Rool!

Hail to King K. Rool!

Hail to me.

This is my finest hour.

♪ It"s great to be a king ♪

♪ I seem to have a knack

for taking everything I want ♪

♪ And giving nothing back t ♪

♪ I"ll take away your jellies ♪

♪ I"ll take away your jams ♪

♪ Have a nice vacation

when I take your travel plans

♪ Now that I have the power

♪ This is my finest hour

♪ Nothing on this Earth can stop me now ♪

♪ Everything is mine

♪ I finally have control ♪ Oh, excuse me

♪ I hope I don"t sound too droll ♪

♪ I"ll take your color TVs ♪

♪ And a banana, if you please

♪ And I"ll put an end to

this silly world peace ♪

♪ Fools, while I watch you cower ♪

♪ This is my finest hour

♪ Bait you on my hook just like a worm ♪

♪ Before I crush you like a bug ♪

♪ Come over here and give me a hug ♪

♪ It gives me so much joy

to watch you squirm ♪

Stop right there, K. Rool!

What is this?

So Bluster"s being a nincompoop.

He thought we were talking about

him instead of the x-ray machine

and now he"s trying to weasel

his way into the history books

by killing all of us with his good deeds.

Fat chance!

How do we make him stop?

With a cherry soda right

there on the shelf, next to

the supersonic vita-punch pack.

Cherry soda?

He thinks he has a fatal disease?

Yeah.

All we got to do is convince

him that this cherry soda is

a new miracle drug that will cure him.

Cherry soda"s a miracle drug?

Of course not.

But he"ll think so and he'll

stop destroying Kongo Bongo by

trying to be a hero.

Besides, I"ve been trying to

unload that stuff for ages.

Diddy, DK, Cranky!

Red alert!

It"s all over the island.

King K. Rool"s got the Crystal Coconut!

Don"t be ridiculous!

The Crystal Coconut"s right

there in its case.

ALL: It"s missing!

Bluster"s on his way to

K. Rool"s to be the big hero

and get the Coconut back all by himself.

They"ll turn him into lizard bait.

Quick, DK, grab that cherry

soda and get going!

You"ve got to stop Bluster

before he gets there.

DK: Let"s hurry up, little buddy.

♪

BLUSTER: Hand over the

Coconut, you prehistoric

throw-back, or Bluster the

Benevolent will pulverize you!

Too late.

What a dumb baboon.

Is this the fiendishly

brilliant plan of a master

strategist or is he simply

the stupidest ape on two feet?

The stupidest ape.

You don"t frighten me, K. Rool.

I"ve got nothing to lose.

DK: Yo, Bluster, over here.

Excuse me.

Hold that thought.

Here he comes.

What do you want?

Bluster the Benevolent is in

the process of completing his

most heroic act to date and

you"re stepping on his toes.

Well, here"s to ya, Bluster.

Toasting my victory.

Slightly premature, but, well, why not?

It"s Cranky's new miracle elixir.

You"re cured.

So it"s not worth you getting

busted up by a bunch of Kritters.

Cured?

I"m cured?

Forget what I said before.

I"m cured!

I"m cured, I'm cured!

Long live me!

Get that idiot!

Huh?

[Weapons powering up]

[Snickering]

But I"m cured.

DK, you gave him the

supersonic mega-punch pack

instead of the cherry soda!

Huh?

Ahhh, hello, newts!

Ready to rumble?

[Punching, screaming continues]

My army.

My precious Kritters.

Time to slither away.

Whoa!

Ahhh!

[Crashing]

Bluster saves the day!

One minute you"re up,

the next minute you"re down.

Here he comes.

Thank you, thank you.

No need for thanks.

For the incredible death-defying

feats of heroism and courage.

For the acts of kindness.

I have something for all of you.

[All moaning]

Don"t worry, the supersonic

vita-punch pack should be

wearing off any second.

We need to put it in a place of honour.

It... will... serve as... an example.

An example of a big baboon.

[Crashing]

What happened?

My portrait!

The windbag ran out of steam.

Wait!

I haven"t given my speech yet.

One minute you"re up, the next

minute you"re down.

♪