Original subtitles

♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out, time to go ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

Donkey Kong!

Hoo! Haa! Hoo Ha! Donkey Kong!

Hoo! Haa! Hoo Ha! Donkey Kong!

Heyy yo! Look out down below!

Here he comes, Banana Slamma!

Congo Bongos hero! Heyyo!

Donkey Kong! Lets go Lets go!

Here he comes Banana Slamma!

[Organ music playing]

♪ Some people call me negative ♪

♪ They don"t light my fire ♪

♪ They all try to cheer me up

♪ But I"m down with being down ♪

Heh, heh!

♪ I know what you"re thinking ♪

♪ "He's a genius", 'cause I am ♪

♪ "Cause I'm Cranky, hee ♪

♪ I got the finger on the beat

♪ Yeah, I"m Cranky ♪

♪ The oldest, wisest ape

you"ll ever meet ♪

For example, you come to see the

most prized possession on the

entire island, who do you come to see?

Me!

Well, now, that we"ve got that

straight, give your eyeballs a

swing over there!

It"s magical!

It"s mysterious!

It"s the eighth-and-a-half

wonder of the world!

The Crystal Coconut!

This is no ordinary crystal.

It"s a fortune-teller, a

teleporter, a power-supplier

and a wish-fulfiller.

In other words, whoever"s got

the coconut rules!

Step right up, and take a closer look.

The crystal will explain it all!

That"s Donkey Kong, the

strongest, brawniest, hippest

ape in all of Kongo Bongo.

Our protector and future king!

Got a lot of muscle mass, but

uh, not so much brain mass.

But he is the bongo biggie, the

top banana that can keep the

Crystal Coconut safe and sound,

and out of the wrong claws.

Whose claws?

That slimy, scaly, foul-breathed

lizard, King K. Rool, professional bad guy.

The big daddy of evil.

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

K. Rool, he"s here!

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

What you got?

KRITTERS: A big fat gut!

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

What you got?

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

Not a lot!

Kritters, halt!

General Klump, I order you to

seize the coconut!

Kritters!

The Klaptrap weapons at the ready!

Oh, wow!

Nice, fat target!

How can we miss?

Not me, you idiots!

At Cranky"s cabin!

[Chomping and munching]

Hey, you mutant newts!

You overgrown, spineless salamanders!

Get away from there!

Donkey Kong, where are you?

Hmm, why do I always have to

start the day with a tough decision?

Hmm.

[Bell clanging]

Hey, D.K., it"s me, Diddy!

Yeah, yeah, down here!

Hey, Diddy!

Come on up, little buddy!

What, in this thing?

I don"t know, D.K.

I"m a little nervous.

My knees are starting to chatter

here, after what happened last time.

It"s cool!

That"s been fixed.

Hop in, and I"ll buzz you up!

Okay, if you say so, D.K.

Okay, but go easy, 'cause

sometimes, D.K., you... no

offense here, but you get a

little out of control.

[Clanging]

[Crashing, Diddy moaning]

Diddy, little buddy?

[Weakly] Yeah, down here.

CRANKY: Donkey Kong, help!

We got to bust a move, Diddy.

Cranky needs our help.

You coming or what?

Right behind you, D.K.

CRANKY: Donkey Kong!

Hang on, Cranky!

We"re coming!

Follow me!

We"re, um, moving in.

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

Banana slamma!

Whack "em, mash 'em,

crush "em to smithereens!

No mercy!

This is my finest hour.

Ahhhh!

[Kritters screaming]

Banana slamma!

Whoa!

Ahhh!

Hip, hop, hip, hop!

Eep!

Hip... double eep!

Hop... ahhh!

Now for my double slamma

bananarama bonanza!

Whoa!

[Shouting, screaming]

K. ROOL: Mommy?

Hey, K. Rool, what"s up?

[Laughing]

Donkey Kong, Diddy!

Um, it was a good match.

You won, I lost.

Good sportsmanship and all that!

[Laughing nervously]

I"m just an underprivileged reptile.

Let"s blame it on my genes!

We"re uh... ahhhh!

[Laughing]

You did it!

You did it, D.K.!

You saved the coconut!

Do you think you two apes can

break up your party long enough

to fix up my roof?

Preferably before K. Rool comes back!

Because you can bet he will.

K. ROOL: I need that blasted coconut!

Now that I"m nothing but a lowly

lizard, a prehistoric throwback,

I"m ordering you to delete,

exterminate, annihilate that

simple-minded ape!

But he eliminated, exterminated and, yes,

annihilated your entire army!

He"s invincible!

It"s the bananas that make

him invincible, but what if... Yes?

What if we cast a spell?

A curse?

Uh, a curse?

[Book crashing]

Yes, a curse!

Here it is.

"Curse your way to the top.

Success through voodoo.

Tired of looking like a goof?

Sick of those pesky hunks

showing you up, time and time again?

Try this foolproof curse."

Yes!

"While cutting the obnoxious

lug"s hair, chant 'Snip, clip, power slip.

You "re a wimp and that's it."

He"ll be left as weak as a baby, and..."

[Laughing] Listen to this!

"His strength will not return

unless his hair grows back!"

That"s it!

Cut Donkey Kong"s hair!

And before it grows back, I"ll

have the coconut.

But, uh, who"ll, uh, cut his hair?

It"s so obvious.

The only person he"ll let get

close enough to him.

You wouldn"t know a good plan if

it hit you in the head!

Would too!

If it hit me in the head.

[Clanging]

[Diddy whistling]

Looking fine, D.K.

What"s up?

I"ve got to look good!

You do?

But I got to look especially smooth.

I"m dropping in on Candy.

It"s her birthday.

Candy, Candy, Candy!

She"s just a girl, D.K.

You can"t have fun with a girl like we do!

She"s the gorilla my dreams!

If only I could get her away from...

CRANKY: Bluster Barrelworks.

Ahh!

It"s right here, in this very

place that they build the barrels.

Whoo!

Unfortunately, the place is run

by that upwardly mobile jerk, Bluster.

When it comes to Candy, Bluster

is Donkey Kong"s biggest competition.

She"s got a soft spot for D.K.

But then, Bluster"s got the

goodies, and some day, the

Bluster Barrelworks.

BLUSTER: Candy!

Here comes the boss.

Hey, Candy!

Surprise!

A birthday cake.

How original, Bluster.

Yes, I am a thoughtful son of a gun.

Happy birthday!

Banana cream, your favourite.

[Sighing]

Rejected.

Watching my figure!

Don"t bother, I'm watching it for you.

I don"t think so.

The machine!

No!

Phew, that was close.

So, are we going to go back to

my place on the Copabanana, or what?

I made plans.

With him?

Hi, Donkey Kong!

Happy birthday, Candy!

You can"t be serious!

I try to do nice things, but no!

I brought you these!

[Squishing sound]

Ooh!

I was going to get you a cake,

but I see you already got one.

Donkey Kong!

Every single time you show up,

things just fall apart!

Both of you are just a couple of

pains in the butt!

Yikes!

Ouch!

CANDY: You"re out of here!

I guess this means our date"s off, huh?

General Klump, how"s the plan

coming along?

Is it done yet?

This is your finest hour!

[Beeping]

K. ROOL: Oh, my!

Despite the head not being

attached, she does look real.

Hello!

I"m King K. Rool.

What"s your name?

[Gasping]

My name is Candy.

Happy to meet you.

She"s perfect!

Put her head back on.

You heard him, troops.

Attach head!

Operation: Attach Head completed, sir!

♪ I"m Candy Kong's clone ♪

♪ We look like we"re one and the same ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪ I know what you"re thinking ♪

♪ But honey, I"m no ordinary dame ♪

♪ Sugar is sweet

♪ Ooh, just like Candy Cane ♪ Ooh ooh

♪ My charm and good looks

drive all the apes insane ♪

♪ Every monkey"s dream

for your evil scheme ♪

♪ It"s so cool to work with King K. Rool ♪

Oh!

She lives, she lives!

She could fool any idiot!

Fooled me!

Now, "Snip, clip, power slip.

You "re a wimp, and that's it!"

The curse on Donkey Kong.

She"ll cut his hair, which will

cut his strength and cut him out

of the picture!

[Laughing]

I blew it!

She"s never gonna talk to me again.

Ah, don"t sweat it.

You"ve blown it 100 times,

1000 times, a million kajillion times!

Thanks.

[Bell clanging]

CANDY: Oh, yoo-hoo!

Donkey Kong!

Candy!

Hey, banana yamma!

Oh, she"s here!

[Diddy screaming]

Gather bananas up, whoo!

CANDY: Are you asking me in, or what?

Whoops!

I forgot you were here!

[Clanging]

You don"t know your own

strength, Donkey Kong.

We"ll have to fix that.

"Snip, clip, power slip.

You "re a wimp, and that's it."

What?

Snip, snip, gonna clip!

Make you my sweet and sexy chimp!

Ooh!

Come here, you hunk of love.

Okay, then, chop-chop!

Sheesh, what a goon.

Oh, I can"t watch this.

[Giggling]

All done!

That wasn"t so bad, was it?

Do you like it?

Smooth!

Too smooth.

Oh, no, geek alert!

I just don"t feel like myself.

Trust me.

You"ll get used to it.

Well, I"m out of here!

I"ll get the elevator for you.

Sure you will.

Huh?

Double huh.

Let me try, Donkey Kong.

Nothing to it.

Better take it easy, D.K.

She"s right!

I"m pooped!

But D.K., how could that be?

What happened?

You"re the strongest ape in all

of Kongo Bongo.

Beats me, but I"m beat!

Company, halt!

Cranky!

Oh, Cranky!

Come and meet and greet the new

ruler of Kongo Bongo!

Don"t you ever give up?

Never give up when victory"s at hand.

Krusha!

Your Majesty called?

Go on, boy.

Fetch the coconut.

Your big oaf is no match for mine!

Donkey Kong, help!

Donkey Kong, where are you?

Banana slamma!

In your tracks, Krusha.

This is gonna hurt me more than

it"s gonna hurt you!

Just label him, will ya?

I"m gonna give you one last chance.

Step back, make a run for it!

Okay, okay, here it comes!

Oh, you"re tickling me.

Here it comes.

That was a warm-up.

I"m gonna give it to you right now.

Okay... Donkey Kong!

[Crashing]

Ugh!

Get up, Donkey Kong!

Get up, Donkey Kong, get up!

You can"t stop me now, Cranky!

I win, you lose!

Stop right there!

I"m warning you!

[K. Rool chuckling]

You scum-sucking rancid reptiles!

This is bad.

Really, really bad.

What happened?

Ever since Candy cut my hair

and told me she wanted to make

me her little love slave... Your hair?

Yeah, don"t laugh.

She gave me the once-over makeover.

Do I look like I"m laughing?

You"re under her curse!

Hey, someone"s coming!

It"s Funky Kong!

He"s coming in for a landing!

CRANKY: He"s going to land on us!

Veer left!

Veer left, Funky!

[Tires skidding]

Sheesh, that was near-death!

Hey, dudes!

It"s chaos all over the island!

K. Rool"s got the coconut?

It"s true.

We"re all doomed!

Everyone knows already?

Yeesh!

Hop in, and I"ll cruise you

to the mellow-yellow plantation.

Yeah, bananas!

They always do the trick.

CRANKY: Don"t count on it.

Hang tight!

Take-offs are a little rocky.

Um, ah, how rocky?

Nothing I can"t handle!

Maybe... maybe I should stay behind.

Sit this one out?

FUNKY: Too late!

[Engine sputtering]

Whoa!

[Cranky muttering]

Bananas, fat chance!

And now, for my voodoo undo!

FUNKY: Banana panorama below!

DONKEY KONG: I hope this does the trick!

DIDDY: I hope we land!

Feast your eyes on those

gazillions of mellow yellows!

What a gorgeous sight!

Problem solved!

All you got to do now is chow!

♪

I don"t believe it.

He"s eaten every single banana!

And he"s still a wimp.

Behold, the voodoo undo!

What took you so long?

[Candy sighing]

Bluster didn"t want to come.

I had to force him.

Here, you have to find D.K.

Make him drink this!

Only the person that cast the

spell on him can undo the curse.

But I didn"t curse him.

Well, somebody who looked,

talked and walked like you did.

She"s been at the Barrelworks all day.

Then, maybe it was an impostor.

A double, a Candy wannabe.

Never mind, it"ll still work.

Move on it!

Go, go, go!

The fate of Kongo Bongo is in it for you!

It lies in your hands!

My loyal reptilian subjects!

This marks a glorious day in

history for all critters!

Uh, ahem!

Because from this day

forward, I am the indisputable

ruler of every living being on

the face of Kongo Bongo!

KRITTER: All hail King K.

Rool!

[Cheering]

Uh, ahem, ahem?

What is it, Klump?

There"s, uh, there's been a

setback with your plan.

My sources tell me that Cranky"s

cooked up an antidote to the voodoo curse.

How are we ever going to find Donkey Kong?

He could be anywhere on the island!

[Crunching sound]

What is that?

We"re experiencing mechanical

difficulties.

Klaptraps!

[Screaming]

I"m tired, my feet are sore,

I have sand in my shoes, and I"m thirsty!

Give me that bottle!

No!

This will save Donkey Kong!

So what if K. Rool wins?

Who cares?

Donkey Kong will be out of my hair.

I can"t stand that guy!

Now, give me that stuff!

We"re not going to save Donkey Kong.

No one is!

Bluster, what are you doing?

I"m top banana now!

Huh?

What?

What"s happening?

Uh-oh!

It "s... it's... It" s the biggest, hugest,

humungous banana tree I"ve ever seen!

DIDDY: Hey, D.K.!

Donkey Kong!

What?

It"s a miracle!

An omen!

A sign from a sign place!

Look, more bananas!

No, not another bite!

It"s not going to work.

You have to!

Open up!

What have you got to lose?

[Groaning]

My lunch?

One banana bull"s eye!

Ugh!

Huh?

Look at your head!

Your hair is growing back!

So are my muscles!

Dear Krusha, put my newly

acquired orb of power in the

Royal Vault for safe-keeping.

Absolutely, Your Majesty.

What?

Banana slamma!

Ready for round two, Krusha?

[Chuckling]

Back again?

Once was not enough.

What are you gonna do this time, wimp?

Oh, just this.

K. ROOL: Oh, oh, my curse!

My curse!

It"s been broken!

Oh, the Crystal Coconut!

Kong!

♪

[Cranky cheering]

Man, I"m good!

The big dope did it.

Ready for round three?

[Groaning]

We bad guys never get a break!

It"s been fun, a real hoot,

but I got to split!

I have a birthday party to go to.

[K. Rool sobbing]

Donkey Kong, I have something for you.

Huh?

It"s just a little present,

for being such a hero.

Well, gosh, thanks, Candy!

Donkey Kong!

I have something for you.

It"s just a little present, for

being such a hero.

Oh.

Two Candys should be better than one.

You know I"m the real thing, D.K.

She"s obviously the impostor

that started all the trouble in

the first place.

Liar!

Well, she"s the fake.

Don"t listen to her!

She is!

Everybody, hold it!

I"m not gonna fall for it twice.

Even I can tell the real Candy from a fake!

Easy, it"s you!

Are you crazy?

Crazy in love enough to know

the real thing when I see it.

Ouch!

I never want to see you again!

Now that we"re alone, how

about a big birthday kiss?

Oh, yes!

You"ve got it.

[Circuits shorting]

What the... [Explosion]

I"m blown away, Candy.

Totally... yeesh!

♪