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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,926 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,553 -RYAN CLARK: Elena! -CHARLES: Elena! 3 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,222 -Elena! -Elena! 4 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:19,310 DOUG: Mia! Mia! Mia! 5 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,271 (EXASPERATED SIGH) 6 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,193 Marvelous. Eight years of pure Charles. 7 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,155 Well, we could take it slow? 8 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,406 Oh, you'll be amazed 9 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,783 at how slow we're gonna take it. Billie! 10 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,871 ♪ ("AVENUE 5" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 11 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,128 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 12 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,171 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 13 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,965 -Iris? I-- Iris! -I'm right here. 14 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,467 Oh, yeah, that's 'cause I saved you. 15 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,802 Assert your leadership, and don't take questions. 16 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,096 All right, every-- everyone, I'm the leader now, 17 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,891 so if you need anything at all, ask Iris! 18 00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,018 She has nothing for you! 19 00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,936 Hey, all my meds are on the other ship. 20 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,272 Oh. (CHUCKLES) Well, I admire your optimism. 21 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,440 Someone needs to tell us 22 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,108 -if we're in the dead zone! -(JUDD CLEARS THROAT) 23 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,819 If this is indeed the dead zone, then I knew that already, 24 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,198 and wanted to be with you, the proletariat, at the end. 25 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:14,282 You're welcome. 26 00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:15,992 -That's a beautiful sentiment. -And it's true! 27 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,495 You didn't need to add that. That creates doubt that wasn't there. 28 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,954 -(PASSENGERS CLAMORING) -(ALARMS BLARING) 29 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,916 This is my life. God knows it's not much of one, 30 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,169 but again and again, Judd just wipes his nose with it. 31 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,337 Focus, focus, focus. 32 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,631 I'm gonna keep saying "focus" until you focus. 33 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,299 I-- I think I can help. 34 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,176 Jaz, track the asteroid. 35 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,094 Billie, find out what we've got and they haven't. 36 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,515 BILLIE MCEVOY: Okay, so we have got the engines, the thrusters, 37 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,559 the ice rink, the bingo machine, 38 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,645 the nav computers, and six go-karts. 39 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,481 And they have... Oh, God, they have the eels. 40 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:48,274 Who's got the cannibal? 41 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:52,028 Uh, I believe we do, but we also have Frank. 42 00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:54,280 Great. So, if we end up eating each other, 43 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,990 at least we'll have a nice garnish. 44 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,367 Well, a garnish. 45 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,493 Signal's back. 46 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,328 Elena? 47 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,496 Ryan, what is happening? 48 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,331 Ah, well, it-- it seems like I-- 49 00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,041 I might have dropped a bit of a bollock. 50 00:02:05,124 --> 00:02:07,377 -(PASSENGERS CLAMORING) -Ry-- Ryan? Mierda! 51 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,795 But it's all gonna be okay. 52 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:09,963 (COMM STATIC CRACKLES) 53 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,673 Well, that's going in The Guinness Book of Lies. 54 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,550 Jaz, will you get the comms back online? 55 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,218 Well, the transmitter's in the front half. 56 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,095 Those who know how to work it are in the back. 57 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,721 Well, tell the front to fix it! 58 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,723 Well, we can't, because there's no signal. 59 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,226 Look, just fucking sort it, will you? Now! 60 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:26,229 You're just yelling impossible instructions at people! 61 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,189 I know! Now get on it! 62 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,899 Sorry, I have now fixed it, actually. 63 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,067 I forgot about the backup. 64 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,735 See? Sometimes it works. 65 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,947 Knock-knock. Not a joke. I think I can help. 66 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,866 -BILLIE: Okay, I'm really focusing... -No, Spike, this is... 67 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,243 -this is not the moment. -...on what we've gotta do right now, so... 68 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,619 RYAN: Um, I'd-- I'd make that seven. 69 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,037 You know, ev-- Mommy's gonna be fine. 70 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,455 Mommy's gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine. 71 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,249 It's gonna be like one of those old-timey comedies, 72 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:49,252 where a guy gets left in charge of a newborn baby... 73 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:52,547 -(PASSENGERS SHOUTING) -(WEAK CHUCKLE) ...and gets hit with a missile. 74 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,216 So more like a dramedy. Okay? A dramedy. 75 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,509 -(COMM RINGS) -Okay, Doug? 76 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,427 Mia! 77 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,429 Okay, Doug, support her head! 78 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,848 Support her head, raise her bilingual, 79 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,141 and never let her date a drummer! 80 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,226 -Should I write this down? Oh shit! -(BABY WAILS) 81 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,061 -Did you just drop our baby? -(BABY CRIES) 82 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,646 MIA: What happened? 83 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,399 Uh, okay, we've got 90 percent of the cabins, the gym, 84 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,568 the bridge, but nothing that the bridge controls, 85 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,903 apart from the lights. 86 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,821 We've got the basketball courts, but they've got the basketballs. 87 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,406 -And we've got the spa. -IRIS KIMURA: All right. 88 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,658 Well, we'll need it after miming all that basketball. 89 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,701 Oh, and we've got the eels! 90 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,411 Oh, good, 'cause I'm fucking starving. 91 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,373 My kid is in the other half. I want to see my kid! 92 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,458 God, um... 93 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,793 Do you have another kid that you could focus on? 94 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,337 (SHOUTING) Rav! (QUIETLY) I'm sorry. 95 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,463 -Rav! -RAV MULCAIR: What? What? 96 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,923 DOUG: Mia's breasts, actually, all of Mia, 97 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,215 are back on the other side of the ship. 98 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,967 -What should I do to feed her? -I don't know, Doug! 99 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,761 Take it to a restaurant, give it a menu! 100 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,763 Does anyone know how to breastfeed? 101 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:45,266 Yes, me! I am this child's biological father and I'm ready. 102 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,560 Love will accomplish what science hasn't. 103 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,395 How did this just get worse? 104 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,606 Bridge is closed. Get out. Man your posts. 105 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,734 The seat of power so long denied to me by my enemies. 106 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,986 Except there is no seat. Can we bring in a seat? 107 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,154 No. Sitting is weak. 108 00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,907 And you won't be able to see over the wheel, so... 109 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,576 (PASSENGERS SHOUTING) 110 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,370 Shut the door. Shut it! 111 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,289 Okay, we can hunker down in here for now. 112 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,000 You can't hunker from a missile, Karen. 113 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,044 My whole life is flashing before my eyes, honey. 114 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,713 Kindergarten, I excelled. Middle school, harder. 115 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,217 Puberty was like a bungee jump without a rope. And now... 116 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:22,011 -Frank, do not tailspin. -Okay. 117 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,639 We're gonna stay here and nest and be safe. 118 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,516 Like a couple of hermit crabs. 119 00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:29,852 Ooh. (WHISPERING) Cleaning vinegar. 120 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,021 You soak one inch of cloth, honey, 121 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,648 it becomes semi-edible tofu! 122 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,858 No more cooking, Frank. Really. 123 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,027 I feel like I've eaten six bathrooms. 124 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,030 All right, you two, I want constant updates 125 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:41,990 on the asteroid. 126 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,700 It's our prize if we don't go boom. 127 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,868 Jaz, how long have we got? 128 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,203 Fifty-five minutes. 129 00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:50,790 Oh, God, 55 minutes. It's like walking towards the guillotine. 130 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:53,126 If the guillotine was 55 minutes' walk away. 131 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,919 (KNOCKS) Excuse me. Hello. I have a plan-- 132 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,338 -No, Spike. -Spike, really, we don't wanna hear it, okay? 133 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,423 I'm dying. 134 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,385 I can sacrifice myself to save the ship. 135 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,096 What? 136 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:09,475 Um, I had, uh, had chest pain. Got a medical machine scan. 137 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:13,354 Inoperable prolapsed mitral valve. Calcified to fuck. 138 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,940 -Well, how-- -How long? Three weeks. 139 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,900 No, Spike, how are we gonna save the ship? 140 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,404 Well, we have a, uh, a one-man escape pod. 141 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,657 I can hop into it. I can fly straight into the missile. 142 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,539 One man absorbs the blow, 6,000 say, "Thanks, pal." 143 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,378 Can he do that? 144 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:41,340 Uh, in theory, yeah, he can do that. You can... 145 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,552 So you-- you would fly into the missile... 146 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,057 and... and fuck me, we all get to live! 147 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,892 BILLIE: (LAUGHING) Yeah, we all get to live! 148 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:54,604 -This is-- this is joyous news! -Oh my god! (LAUGHING) 149 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,314 I mean, it's-- not for you. 150 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:57,523 -BILLIE: No. -RYAN: Obviously. 151 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,568 -But-- but joyous! -(BILLIE LAUGHS) 152 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,236 And also unbelievably sad. 153 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,947 Unspeakable sorrow. 154 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,658 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS, FADES) ♪ 155 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,660 If any of you guys have last requests, 156 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,747 or you want to unburden yourself of some family secret, 157 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,831 now's the time. 158 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,250 I wanna go back to Earth, hold this baby up 159 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,461 like a lion cub in front of Mia's evil sister, 160 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,296 and say, "Who's barren now, bitch? 161 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,757 Tell me, Paulina, who the fuck is barren now?" 162 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:26,219 Heh. Paulina would look so dumb. Good one, Doug. 163 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:27,428 (CONSOLE CHIMES) 164 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,263 Oh. I may need that. 165 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,473 It's all gone fucksy-daisy out there. 166 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,809 We need an urgent plan to deal with the missile. 167 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,852 Right. Uh, I ran a crisis management course 168 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,979 that I did not attend. I've got this. 169 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,607 (ALARM SOUNDS) 170 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,234 -(ALARM STOPS) -Mm. 171 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:45,655 Hello, this is Commander Judd of Avenue 5. Both of them. 172 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,616 Come in, Earth. I repeat, come in, you assholes. 173 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,618 Uh, we need help, so maybe don't lead 174 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,286 with calling everyone on Earth an asshole. 175 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,746 -(COMM CHIMES) -Mia! 176 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,665 -Doug! -Are you still in the bathroom? I'm gonna help you escape, 177 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,291 -but very quietly. -Okay, okay! 178 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,960 Yeah, listen, take the electric toothbrush-- 179 00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,753 What, am I gonna veneer my way outta this? 180 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,171 No, no, no, take the head off of it 181 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,006 -and there's gonna be a pointy bit there. -Okay. 182 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,008 And I want you to drill a hole in the wall. 183 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,343 I saw it in a movie once. 184 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:08,511 All right, I'm... I'm ready. 185 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:09,720 Don't hit any wires. 186 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,181 This ship is so cheap, there probably aren't any wires. 187 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,724 (DRILLING) 188 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,810 (YELPS) I'm through, I'm through. 189 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,853 Okay, good. 190 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,437 This is a very small hole, Doug. 191 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,939 Try to shout through it now. 192 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:24,735 Hello! Hello! I drilled a hole in the wall! I'm really sorry! 193 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,155 -(CLEARS THROAT) -FRIENDLY FEMALE VOICE: (OVER RADIO) This message... 194 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,489 -What are you doing? -HERMAN JUDD: Shh! 195 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,158 -FRIENDLY VOICE: People of Avenue 5... -Oh my god. 196 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,160 FRIENDLY VOICE: ...you're being sent this message to save you... 197 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,202 It could actually be God. 198 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,662 Is God single? Because she sounds amazing. 199 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,873 It's not God, it's a woman that does detergent commercials, 200 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:37,874 but knock yourself out. 201 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,500 FRIENDLY VOICE: People of Avenue 5, 202 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,752 you are being sent this message to save you... 203 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,588 (GASPS) I'm gonna go out there 204 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,882 and I'm gonna tell them about the Space Siren. 205 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,383 Yes, that's what I'm calling her. 206 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:48,801 Everybody, 207 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,554 -I have amazing news! -Hello? Uh, my name is Herman Twam Judd, 208 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,806 and I am a very highly influential figure. 209 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,766 Type my name into any search engine. 210 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,768 Uh, please ignore the smear campaigns. 211 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,897 FRIENDLY VOICE: People of Avenue 5, 212 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,982 you are being sent this message to save you... 213 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,526 -(RADIO CRACKLES) -FRIENDLY VOICE: ...any doubt that this missile 214 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,696 will eradicate you in 27 minutes. 215 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,031 They are all assholes. 216 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,659 ♪ (RAPID ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 217 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:16,704 It's just hit me. Spike is gonna die. 218 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,332 -That's just hit you? -I should write a eulogy 219 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,292 befitting his massive humanity. 220 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,960 Actually, that's-- no, that's rather good. 221 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,712 -You should write that down. -I will, amen to that. 222 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,589 -RYAN: Make a note of that. -BILLIE: I will, for sure. 223 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,425 So now, you've got to call Judd and make nice, okay? 224 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:32,011 You've gotta get on. 225 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,805 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -RYAN: (IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Hey, Herman, my Judd-bud... 226 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,266 (DROPS ACCENT) ...it's Ryan here! Ha! 227 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,060 How the other half lives, eh? 228 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:42,355 Listen, if we beat the missile, we need to work together. 229 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,232 We've got some really nice stuff over here. 230 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,816 Um, we've got... 231 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,778 Um... linen? 232 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,405 We've got linens, we've got... 233 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,200 The-- all the condiments, the condiments. 234 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,952 -We've got the condiments. -Condiments. 235 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,912 Sixty large yoga balls. 236 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,789 -(WHISPERING) What do we have? -(MOUTHING SILENTLY) 237 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,082 -We have... 238 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,751 Oh. We've got... waves. 239 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,795 -(MOUTHING SILENTLY) -Oh! Eels! 240 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,130 Just fucking say eels. We have eels. 241 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,882 Don't let him think he's won. Because he has, 242 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,300 but don't let him think that he's won. 243 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,844 In the kingdom of the eels, the man with the eels is king. 244 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,806 -I'm not gonna say that. -RYAN: I was thinking maybe... 245 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,642 twenty toilet rolls per eel? 246 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,478 Because we've got the toilet rolls. 247 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,855 So unless you wanna wipe your arse with an eel, 248 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,941 and I'm sorry even for putting that sentence out there, 249 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,192 I think you might wanna trade. 250 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,486 You know what else we've got in the front half, Ryan? 251 00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:31,612 The light controls. 252 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,780 RYAN: Oh, for-- 253 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,073 JUDD: What are the eels worth to you, Ryan? 254 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,409 RYAN: It's like negotiating with an evil doll. 255 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,371 BILLIE: Oh, Spike's ready. We gotta go. We gotta go. 256 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:41,455 Okay. We'll think about it! 257 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,124 JUDD: So will we, but we'll think faster. 258 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,458 Oh! Here's one. 259 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,919 "He died as he lived... alone." 260 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,171 By 18 months, she should be talking. 261 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,091 Twenty-four months, I'd like fully formed sentences. 262 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:53,676 According to the plan, it was 32 months 263 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,761 -for fully formed sentences. -Fuck the plan, Doug. 264 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,305 -We're going rogue. -Don't panic. 265 00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:00,016 Together we will consensually co-parent this child. 266 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,518 Doug, keep Mads away from my baby! 267 00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:04,020 -(BANGING BEHIND WALL) -He's too good-looking! 268 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,981 He's never had to think about anything in his entire life! 269 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,316 MAINTENANCE WORKER: Hello? Hello? 270 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,568 -(BANGING) -Oh my god! What's happening? 271 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,069 MAINTENANCE WORKER: Hello, lady. 272 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,154 Oh, thank god! 273 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,114 I thought I was gonna die on the toilet 274 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,658 like my fifth-grade math tutor! 275 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,202 Matt, I wanna marry Ryan. And Charles. 276 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,998 I wanna make this big, weird family official. Right, kids? 277 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:24,957 -PALOMA: Yeah. -Yeah. 278 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,002 You, me, Daddy, and Captain Daddy. 279 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:30,046 (LAUGHS) Marriage of the damned. 280 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,464 -(SIGHS) -MATT SPENCER: Beautiful. 281 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,590 Uh, my guess is, 282 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,633 the wedding booth on level five is free, 283 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,219 but I can't do it because I'm manufacturing 284 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,639 a death apparatus to incinerate myself. 285 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,390 Great. All right. Let's go. 286 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,892 -Thank you. -MATT: Mazel tov. 287 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,561 (PASSENGERS CHEERING) 288 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,438 PASSENGER 1: My hero, Spike! 289 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,693 PASSENGER 2: Whoo! Go Spike! 290 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,573 (APPLAUSE FADES) 291 00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:58,866 What did I miss? 292 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,285 Spike's killing himself, but it's a good thing. 293 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,788 Oh, good. I hope he's gonna be okay. 294 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:08,042 Elena wants to marry us. We're going to be hus-boths. 295 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,586 -Are we? -Yeah. 296 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:14,590 Wow! God, marriage and death on one day. 297 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,634 I wish I'd worn better socks. 298 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,387 Congratulations! Grooms in da room. 299 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,429 (CHUCKLES) 300 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,139 It won't be real because you can't consummate, 301 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:24,475 but I'm absolutely thrilled for you. 302 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,352 Billie, do you think this is gonna work? 303 00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:28,354 BILLIE: Uh, yeah. It should. 304 00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:30,523 Oh! You mean your marriage. No. 305 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:34,902 (APPLAUSE) 306 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,947 Uh, I'm gonna read out some tributes to Spike. 307 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,199 Hope this doesn't turn into a roast. 308 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,826 PASSENGER 3: No, that comes later! 309 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,245 (EXHALES SHARPLY, CHUCKLES) 310 00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:48,499 Uh, I think, yes. This is from Craig, cabin 631. 311 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:51,502 "We never spoke, but I like astronauts." 312 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,255 Sorry, I-- I haven't had time to... 313 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,714 Captain, I think we need to move this... 314 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,800 -Yes! Yes. Yes. Absolutely. -It's ready, so... 315 00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,009 Uh... Oh, look, 316 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,845 -there's one here from Frank. -Hi, buddy. 317 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,930 "Spike, thank you for Cuddle Club. 318 00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,057 The way your body melted into mine 319 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,476 felt more like home than anything I've ever known." 320 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,645 "Than anything I've ever known," Frank? 321 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:12,022 -"Than anything I've ever known?" -Sorry. 322 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,482 We're just wasting fuel at this point. 323 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,568 Okay, we're done, then, with this bit. I think... 324 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,819 Yes. Yes, absolutely. 325 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,279 -Spike, any last words? -(SIGHS) 326 00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:21,615 Uh, yes, it-- There's something I'd like to say. 327 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,160 I've, uh, been... 328 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,496 I guess been building up to saying this my whole life. 329 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,290 -Most-- -Yeah, Spike, I think we get it. 330 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,624 -That's... yeah. -Oh. Oh. 331 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,918 -So we can... -I-- I understand. I understand. 332 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,545 (PASSENGERS APPLAUD) 333 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,464 -Here we go, Spike. -Spike, uh, listen. 334 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,007 I've-- I've written a eulogy for you myself. 335 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,050 And I'm really pleased with the way it's coming together. 336 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,552 I don't wanna rush it, but I have to go 337 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,345 -and get married, so Godspeed. -BILLIE: Yeah. Bye. 338 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,972 -All right? -Bye. Forever. 339 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,642 -Any tips on how to fly her? -PAUL: It's an escape pod. 340 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,352 You just sit in it while it escapes. 341 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,271 You remember who you're talking to. 342 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,898 I landed a module on Mars! 343 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,483 Yeah, well, you're definitely qualified to sit 344 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,443 in an escape pod then, but then so is a potato. 345 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,570 -(COMPUTER BEEPS) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Launch sequence initiated. 346 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:01,197 Okay, uh, well, safe trip. 347 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,532 Uh, not safe, obviously, but trip. 348 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:07,828 -(DOOR SLAMS) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Ten, nine, eight, seven... 349 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,664 six, five, four... 350 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,501 three, two, one. 351 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,669 -(ENGINE POWERING UP) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Launch. 352 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:21,133 ♪ (DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 353 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,847 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 354 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,557 (KISSES) 355 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,725 Bye, Rav. 356 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,395 (KISSES) 357 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,690 Hello! Hello, everyone, sorry, sorry to keep you waiting, uh, 358 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,026 I've just been wishing Spike a happy obliteration. 359 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,736 -Uh, who's got-- -BILLIE: Take your seats, everyone! 360 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,363 Take your seats anywhere-- Not there, not there! 361 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,240 -It's fine. You're fine. -BILLIE: Move it down, please! 362 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,158 You're here now. Let's, uh, let's get a wiggle on, 363 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,326 make this puppy legal. 364 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,245 Yeah, all right, wind your neck in, Charles. 365 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,496 This is for Elena. 366 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,415 She'll make a lovely bride. I imagine. She's not here. 367 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,209 I knew you'd be here. 368 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,294 Have you come as an Arctic sniper? 369 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,713 Wha-- wha-- Or are you the next pope? What? 370 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,298 You needed witnesses. I'm here. 371 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,300 -Yeah, you'll do. -Can we just move this along? 372 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,803 -Who's got the, uh, the, the-- -BILLIE: Frank, Frank! 373 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,846 -RYAN: Frank! Frank! Let's go. -Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS) 374 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,767 ♪ (WEDDING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 375 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,852 Okay, Captain, we've really gotta move it, okay? 376 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,313 Elena, could you... 377 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,235 Okay, uh, Frank. Hit wedding. 378 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,653 Hey, hey, you virgins! 379 00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,406 I bet tonight's gonna get all sorts of fuckin' nasty. 380 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:29,243 But before we get there, "Let's Get Hitched with Herman Judd." 381 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,869 Fuck it, no! No! Stop, stop! 382 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,413 I'm-- Stop it. I can't do this. 383 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:36,709 I cannot get married under Judd's watchful nipples. 384 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,210 Okay, we're gonna do this somewhere else. 385 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,587 Elena, we'll just be one minute. 386 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,630 -ELENA: Okay. -Much nicer, uh, other place. 387 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,132 -All right? -Okay, mi amor. Okay. 388 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,217 -RYAN: Come on, everybody. -You heard him! Let's go, let's go! 389 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,969 Keep it moving, let's go, go, go! 390 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,137 Where are we going? 391 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,972 RYAN: An open sewer would be better than this. 392 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,974 ♪ (RAPID ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 393 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,058 I need you to marry us. 394 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,685 Ryan doesn't want Judd doing it, so... 395 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:57,062 That seems so sad. Someone on their deathbed, 396 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,023 marrying three people on their deathbeds, 397 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,150 in a giant deathbed factory. 398 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,903 Just say the vows, you prick. Okay? Great. 399 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,614 (FURNITURE SCRAPING ACROSS FLOOR) 400 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:07,781 (RYAN GROANS) 401 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,325 Yeah, let's just do it here. I'm tired of running. 402 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,284 Okay. 403 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,785 It's as bad as anywhere else, I suppose. 404 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,203 Everybody, get a seat. 405 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,663 Who's got the, uh... 406 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,624 -Yep, yep, yep! -RYAN: Oh, Frank's still got it. All right, let's go. 407 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,916 ♪ (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 408 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,794 (CLEARS THROAT) No, no, no, skip that bit, skip that. 409 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,423 Dearly beloved slash condemned, uh, we're gathered here today 410 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:28,385 to celebrate the joyous slash heartbreaking union 411 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,846 of you three people as you commit to spending 412 00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:34,350 the rest of your harrowingly short lives together. 413 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,185 -(PASSENGERS CLAMORING) -Okay, everyone, listen! 414 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,811 Listen, I've got it! 415 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:38,854 Okay. 416 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,731 Do they think Rav's in charge here? 417 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,566 This is either the first or the final stage 418 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,151 of carbon monoxide poisoning. 419 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,862 Um, how about we kill the engine, the lights, 420 00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:49,323 the power, we go completely dark. 421 00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,533 The missile passes us by. Boom! 422 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,370 I mean, the opposite of boom, hopefully, but who's with me? 423 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,997 (CROWD CHEERING) 424 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,499 Do you, Potential Spouse One, 425 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,877 take Potential Spouse Two as your lawfully wedded spouse? 426 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,380 Not massively clear, but yes, I do. 427 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,423 And do you, Potential Spouse Two, 428 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,218 take Spouse One as your lawfully wedded spouse? 429 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,219 I do. 430 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,637 Will you stop mouthing along? 431 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,888 I'm being an effing witness! 432 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,765 (WHISPERING) Boundaries, honey, please. 433 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:18,602 Okay, everybody, uh, get ready! Get ready, find a space. 434 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,020 Okay, here goes. 435 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,691 And since you are a throuple, do you, Potential Spouse Three, 436 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,859 take Confirmed Spouses One and Two 437 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,611 as your lawfully wedded spouses? 438 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,238 Disable systems! 439 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,864 (SYSTEM POWERS DOWN) 440 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,491 RYAN: What happened? Where-- where did she go? 441 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,159 I didn't-- I didn't touch, I didn't do any-- 442 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,703 -I didn't touch it. -We've gotta finish it. 443 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,705 She... she didn't say her vows. 444 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,915 Does that mean just us are married? 445 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,919 Oh, tits. 446 00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:48,882 I mean... (CLEARS THROAT) Uh, I said "I do," so... 447 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,259 BILLIE: So I think we're good. 448 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,136 Because we still have a missile to stop 449 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,430 and an asteroid to harvest before we cut the cake. 450 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,181 Wait, did you just marry Karen? 451 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,224 -No! -KAREN KELLY: Maybe. 452 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,475 FRANK KELLY: You married my wife? 453 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,853 -Yes, I think so. -Mazel tov. Captain! 454 00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,398 If you hadn't dithered, we'd be done by now. 455 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,066 If we survive this, I will annul you. 456 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,776 -You don't mean that. -FRANK: I thought you were 457 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,695 -just a witness. -I think we're married, honey. 458 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,113 -Charles? -Hmm? 459 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,156 Oh! Oh. 460 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:15,868 (LAUGHING) I'm just a happy bride! 461 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,494 RAV: (WHISPERING LOUDLY) Everyone! 462 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:20,080 We need total silence. 463 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,460 IRIS: (WHISPERING) You should challenge that. 464 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,378 -JUDD: (WHISPERING) Hey Rav? -RAV: What? 465 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,464 -JUDD: You mean total silence? -RAV: Yes! 466 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,798 JUDD: That doesn't seem possible. 467 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,467 -IRIS: Great challenge. -JUDD: We should go. 468 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,218 RAV: Oh my god, guys! Shush! 469 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,684 MATT: (WHISPERING) Guys, I'm kind of hoping that we die now. 470 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,144 Is-- is that strange? 471 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,480 RAV: (STRANGLED WHISPER) Four words. Shut the fuck up! 472 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,900 JUDD: That's actually five words. 473 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,610 RAV: Shush! 474 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,320 JUDD: (TALKING NORMALLY) Wait, no, it's four. My bad. 475 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,864 RAV: (TALKING NORMALLY) Just shut up! Just shut up. Everyone, shut up. 476 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:55,616 You have gotta call Lucas. 477 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,951 I grabbed this just before the split, 478 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:01,955 -so you could call Lucas! -Oh, you little beauty. 479 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,957 Not you. I mean, not, not that you're not-- 480 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,834 Oh my god, Ryan, I don't care, just do the call. 481 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,254 -(COMM RINGING) -(MONITOR CHIMES) 482 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,298 Ryan! How you doing? 483 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,342 Lucas, we have good news. 484 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,510 LUCAS SATO: Hey! Hey! 485 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,595 RYAN: The missile is not going to hit us now. 486 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,097 And even better news, we're about to harvest 487 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,516 a large amount of lithium, 488 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,268 so suck, as it were, on that. 489 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,187 How exactly are you gonna get this lithium? 490 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,816 We propose to trade the lithium for a rescue. 491 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,651 Yeah, and a proper rescue, not just some guy 492 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,027 with a headlamp and an energy bar. 493 00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,655 RYAN: And in return, we will save you from extinction. 494 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,615 How does that sound? Pretty good, I would think. 495 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,534 How are we doing on the eulogy? 496 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,701 -JAZ: Billie? -Yeah? 497 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:40,744 Ryan? 498 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:41,995 Oh, shit, Captain! 499 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,164 -Captain, they've gone dark! -Ryan? 500 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,874 BILLIE: They switched their lights off 501 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,751 so that the missile latches onto us! 502 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,836 Ryan? 503 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,754 BILLIE: Such a low-down, shitty thing to do! 504 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,256 Why the fuck didn't I think of that? 505 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:54,633 -JAZ: What's he doing? -(CONSOLE BEEPING) 506 00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:56,885 Do missiles go for flashing lights? 507 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,053 I thought that was moths. 508 00:18:58,136 --> 00:18:59,888 You there? No? Fuck. 509 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,139 Hold on, Lucas! 510 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,058 I gotta speak to this demented toddler. 511 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,268 -Judd! -JUDD: Oh, hey, Ryan. 512 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,270 If you want your lights back on-- 513 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,855 And eels, if we survive. 514 00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:12,693 And eels, if we survive, then we're gonna need some linens, 515 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:17,072 five thousand toilet rolls, half the medicine, and mustard. 516 00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,032 We want all the mustard. 517 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,409 (WHISPERING) You like mustard. 518 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,202 Just say fucking, "Yes!" 519 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,997 You can have the absolutely irrelevant mustard. 520 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,044 "Corporeal bonds." I like that. 521 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:32,629 Yeah. Okay. 522 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:36,508 And also, uh, "Brave..." No. "Noble..." 523 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,552 "Brave-slash-noble humanity." That'll do for now. 524 00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,470 -Great. Great. -Lucas, you still there? 525 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,723 Yes, I am still here, and I'm not the one who's got 526 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,266 a missile heading towards me, by the way, 527 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,684 so I'm gonna need some details of this plan. 528 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,020 Okay, Spike's closing in on the missile. Five minutes. 529 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,897 -Put him on. Where is the... -Okay. I'll get the eulogy. 530 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,316 -JAZ: That one. -I'll get the-- I'm getting the eulogy up. Okay. 531 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,735 LUCAS: Ryan. Ryan? 532 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,236 -Spike Martin. -JUDD: Oh, and Ryan, 533 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,030 we're gonna need all the pillows, too. 534 00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,239 BILLIE: Go, go, go, go, go! 535 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,158 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 536 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:05,162 Judd! Fuck the pillows! You can sleep on the mustard! 537 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,960 Spike Martin. Godspeed, old friend. 538 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,546 Know this. We will honor you 539 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,465 and the noble-slash-braves... 540 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:20,844 the braves... sacrifice that you will have made, 541 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,346 all of our lives. 542 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:23,805 (WHISPERING) I really don't like that. 543 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,265 Well, you told me to put a slash. 544 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,892 -Well, yeah-- I know-- -BILLIE: But it was either-or, so... 545 00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,977 -But I couldn't read that, could I? -I think he liked it. 546 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,187 -RYAN: Spike? -(COMM BEEPS) 547 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,314 That's badly written. 548 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,066 (ENGINES RUMBLING) 549 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,109 Ooh, seat warmer. 550 00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,946 Fancy a last blast of fun down there. 551 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:41,531 -(CONSOLE BUZZES) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Medical scan selected. 552 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,741 Cholesterol, high. 553 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,618 I like butter, so fuck you. 554 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:48,038 You will live on, in our hearts and memories. 555 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,207 We will always... 556 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,376 AUTOMATED VOICE: Cardiac health, excellent. 557 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,252 What? 558 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,004 AUTOMATED VOICE: Minor inflammation in the left ventricle. 559 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,633 May flag as mitral valve prolapse if incorrectly scanned. 560 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,343 Treatment, aspirin. 561 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,470 Wait... the robot was wrong? 562 00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:05,681 ...as you slip these corporeal bonds 563 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,975 and take your rightful place in the firmament-- 564 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,518 -JUDD: Oh, and Ryan, um... -Jesus Christ! 565 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,270 We're only gonna be able to send one crate of eels a month. 566 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,106 -I hope that's okay. -BILLIE: Okay, okay, okay. 567 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,649 -Uh... -(COMM CLICKS ON) 568 00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:19,319 Will you fuck massively and totally off? 569 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,029 -LUCAS: Who's talking now? -Not you, Lucas. 570 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,781 Lucas? 571 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:27,160 -Your fearlessness will inspire ge-- -SPIKE MARTIN: I'm not doing it. 572 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,162 -Hello? Spike? -I'm not doing it. 573 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,414 You're not doing what? 574 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,124 I'm gonna live! 575 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,834 So I'm turning the escape pod around. 576 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:35,669 Well, I think we all knew that was gonna happen. 577 00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,087 No! No, no, no, Spike. 578 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,463 You grow a spine, Spike, 579 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:41,049 and you throw that spine at the fucking missile! 580 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,426 Spike is gonna fly into the missile. 581 00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,136 Why are you negotiating without me? 582 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,637 Oh, for fuck's sake. 583 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:46,888 Oh, you know, if you switch this, 584 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,391 then everyone can hear everyone. 585 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,059 Well, why didn't you tell me that before--? 586 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,728 Did you not see me going...? 587 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,062 I wondered what that was about. 588 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,358 The reason I didn't tell you, Judd, 589 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:01,570 is because the last chats you had with Lucas went so well 590 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,321 he fired a missile at us! 591 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,740 I'm a master negotiator. 592 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,867 I just negotiated for all the pillows. 593 00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,910 If idiocy was an orthodox church, 594 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,122 you'd be an archdeacon! You'd be Pope Herman the Fuck! 595 00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:14,249 -Spike? -JUDD: Well, you're not a real man, Ryan. 596 00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:16,418 You're just a coat hanger for despair. 597 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:19,254 -You're a shoe tree for twat! -Spike! 598 00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:23,425 You're unhealthy for everyone. You're bad for us all, 599 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:26,595 in a pure, unadulterated, ass-banana way. 600 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:29,931 I just came up with that word right now. Ass-banana. 601 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,476 Could you come up with ass-banana? I doubt it. 602 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:33,685 Stop saying ass-banana. 603 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,896 Spike, please! I'm gonna need some more information. 604 00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:40,358 Here's all the info you need. Fuck this, I'm not doing it. 605 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,819 No. Spike, you have to do it. There's a baby in here. 606 00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:45,781 I say this with-- with lots of love. 607 00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,574 That baby's gonna have to swivel. 608 00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:50,327 Spike, whatever the problem is, you just tell us 609 00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,329 and we'll talk you through. We're all here. 610 00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:53,789 -Right. -We're all here. 611 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:56,375 The problem is, I'm a massive chickenshit. 612 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,335 -Yeah, well, he is. -That is not helpful! 613 00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,378 But with the ventricles of a 20-year-old, 614 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:01,588 so I'm coming back! 615 00:23:01,671 --> 00:23:04,174 No! No, no, no, no, Spike, come on, you can do this! 616 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:05,384 -You're a hero! -No! 617 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:07,094 BILLIE: You've always been a hero to us, Spike. 618 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:09,638 (SNIFFLING) I'm-- I'm crying. 619 00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:12,307 Heroes don't-- don't-- They don't cry. 620 00:23:12,390 --> 00:23:15,018 -Oh, they totally do! -Yeah! 621 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,895 -All the time! -BILLIE: All the time! 622 00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:18,396 RYAN: It's wonderful that you're in touch 623 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,940 -with your vulnerable side. -(WHIMPERS) 624 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:21,108 Having said that, 625 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:24,236 you do absolutely have to fucking kill yourself. 626 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:26,238 Don't listen to him. Listen to me. 627 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:27,989 You really do need to kill yourself, 628 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,574 but because I said it, not Ryan. 629 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:32,119 AUTOMATED VOICE: Two minutes to total eradication. 630 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,037 Unnecessary addition of "total." 631 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,163 Uh-- oh, yes. 632 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,624 Tautology at a time like this, it's insane. 633 00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:39,626 (BREATHES DEEPLY) Okay. 634 00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:42,087 Come on, you old bastard, you can do this. 635 00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:44,798 (EXHALES) All right, listen. 636 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:47,759 Um, I have some frozen sperm, and I want you to have it. 637 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,511 Oh, goddammit, you're gonna die too. 638 00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,054 Well, I want you to have it anyway. 639 00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,764 And this isn't me hitting on you, 640 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,349 so don't get legal. 641 00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,184 Those are your last words to me? 642 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:57,519 "Don't get legal"? 643 00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,354 (MISSILE ROARING) 644 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:01,773 (FLAME HISSES) 645 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,901 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 646 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:05,986 (WHIMPERS) 647 00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:08,905 (CONTINUES WHIMPERING) 648 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:11,908 Nope. I can't. 649 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:13,827 (METAL SCRAPES) 650 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,287 -Ah! -Oh. 651 00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:17,539 -Oh! -(GROANS) 652 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:19,249 BILLIE: (LAUGHING) Oh my god! 653 00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:22,127 -No, no! -He's only gone and accidentally saved us! 654 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:24,045 -(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY) -BILLIE: Oh my God! (LAUGHS) 655 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,255 He did it! (CHUCKLES) 656 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:28,550 Lucas! I'm over several moons to be able to inform you 657 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,594 that the lithium is on its way. 658 00:24:30,677 --> 00:24:33,305 We've only gone and saved Planet Earth. 659 00:24:33,388 --> 00:24:35,682 -You are barely welcome. -Oh, wait, no. 660 00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,392 The missile looks like it's now headed for the-- 661 00:24:37,475 --> 00:24:40,145 (EXPLOSION) 662 00:24:40,228 --> 00:24:41,229 Asteroid. 663 00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:44,482 Can I call you back? 664 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:48,195 (EXPLOSION RUMBLES) 665 00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:50,989 -(EELS SPLASHING) -What the-- What? 666 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:53,074 That's why they call it a missile! 667 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,242 Because it misses! 668 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:57,370 (SOBBING AND LAUGHING) I don't know how I feel! 669 00:24:57,454 --> 00:25:01,625 I don't know how I feel. (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 670 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:04,628 (EXPLOSION RUMBLES) 671 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,421 RAV: Reactivate systems! 672 00:25:06,504 --> 00:25:08,465 Oh! Oh, I think I just saved the ship! 673 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:10,091 -I think you did! -(PASSENGERS CHEER) 674 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,134 (SHRIEKS LOUDLY) 675 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,929 Oh! Oh! Adulation? (LAUGHS) Not unpleasant. 676 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:17,140 I might start doing cocaine after this! (CHEERS) 677 00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,642 Oh, ah! 678 00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,729 I'm a fucking legend! 679 00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:24,147 All right, put me down, put me down. 680 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:28,151 All yield. All hail Rav. All yield. All hail Rav! 681 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:30,153 PASSENGERS: (CHANTING) All yield! All hail Rav! 682 00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:32,405 -All yield! All hail Rav! -(MATT LAUGHS) 683 00:25:32,489 --> 00:25:33,615 PASSENGERS: All yield! 684 00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:35,075 -All hail Rav! -Matt, we did it! 685 00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:36,618 We're alive! 686 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:38,995 Oh, um... 687 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,081 -All yield! All hail Rav! -Hey. 688 00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:45,293 -(CHANTING FADES) -Hi! I just wanted to let everyone know, 689 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,295 I saved us. You're welcome. 690 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,505 It was nothing. 691 00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:50,215 -Yeah, you're darn right it was nothing. -(BABY FUSSES) 692 00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:51,466 -You did nothing. -Yeah! 693 00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:54,386 He-- he ran away and got fussy about bed linen. 694 00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:57,138 He's a super big sociopath, and we should kill him! 695 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,598 -PASSENGERS: Yeah! -It's-- it's cool-- 696 00:25:58,682 --> 00:25:59,724 That's against ship rules. 697 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,060 Okay, we can't kill him. It's against ship rules. 698 00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:03,853 -(PASSENGERS GROAN) -What... what can we do? 699 00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:07,107 Uh, you know what we do to jellyfish? 700 00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:09,442 -MADS: No? -Is we feed them to eels. 701 00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,152 Oh, we can feed him to the eels! 702 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,863 PASSENGERS: (CHANTING) Feed him now! Feed him now! 703 00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:14,948 Feed him now! 704 00:26:15,031 --> 00:26:16,324 -JUDD: Uh... -Guys? 705 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,910 JUDD: I would just say that I don't wanna be fed to eels. 706 00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,746 -Why? -JUDD: Because I saved us. 707 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:25,000 And I got us a great deal on pillows and mustard. 708 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:26,167 We didn't get the pillows. 709 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,335 -Fuck. -PASSENGER: Get him! 710 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,254 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 711 00:26:29,337 --> 00:26:31,756 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 712 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:36,720 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 713 00:26:37,595 --> 00:26:39,389 They're incredibly suggestible. 714 00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:41,349 PASSENGERS: To the eels! To the eels! 715 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,227 To the eels! To the eels! To the eels! 716 00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,771 ♪ (QUIET MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 717 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:50,775 Holy shit. That is impressive. 718 00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,987 Yeah. Quite the happy ending, isn't it? 719 00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,989 LUCAS: All right. Let me make some calls. 720 00:26:56,072 --> 00:26:58,825 And, uh, sorry about the missile. 721 00:26:58,908 --> 00:27:00,577 -(MONITOR CHIMES) -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 722 00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:03,705 So is this all we managed to save? 723 00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:04,664 Yeah. 724 00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:06,374 It could power an electric scooter 725 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,835 -for about 25 minutes. -Uh-huh. 726 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,130 So in addition to destroying 727 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:14,549 almost all the lithium in the galaxy, 728 00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:17,135 there's a good chance I'm married to Karen Kelly. 729 00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:19,721 Bit of golf? 730 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:21,097 The golf course is actually on the other side... 731 00:27:21,181 --> 00:27:23,058 -of the ship, yeah. -It's on the other side, yeah. 732 00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:25,560 (SIGHS) 733 00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:32,192 ♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 734 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:58,843 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 735 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,576 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 53396

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