Original subtitles

[Episode 4]

They're Zero Members for a reason.

I've become a legend!

The eldest and only son of six children.

Wow!

He writes poetry.

He busks in Uijeongbu at night.

Yook Ryong, that bastard, seriously!

Hello?

Is this by any chance Yook Ryong's phone?

Yes, it is. May I ask, who is calling?

You gave me your business card in Gangnam the other day and asked if I wanted to get a meal with you.

Don't you remember? I have short hair.

Short hair...

Oh, I remember. You look like Meg Ryan.

Oh, my! Meg Ryan?

Do I?

If you have some time, would you like to have some coffee?

- Oh, but today I'm a bit busy... - Oh...

I see. I really wanted to see you again.

If you really want to, I absolutely need a cup of coffee every day no matter how busy I am.

Where should we meet? I know that place. See you later.

Oh, you surprised me!

Are you going somewhere?

I am going to have a cup of coffee.

There is a cafe.

Employees get 50% off. Why would you go somewhere else?

Ah, you see... My high school friends suddenly want to meet—

Bring them here. I'll personally make coffee for you guys.

Don't trouble yourself. It's okay.

It's fine. Bring them here. We just roasted some new beans today.

Are you trying to keep an eye on me?

Yes, I am.

You're being too much!

If you screw up one more time, I'll have to let you go.

You know that, right?

I do, but...

His wife went to visit her family so he said he needed to bring his kids.

He has two kids. I didn't want to bring them to the gallery.

Go then.

Yes.

Perhaps...

It's me. Geum Sang Chum Hwa.

Hey!

Come here, quick!

Let go of me and we can talk.

Let's just have a talk.

If it was just one person, I wouldn't say anything. But eight at the same time? Are you human?

It's not like I planned to...

They said that it's okay to meet many of them at once!

All at once?

Who said so? Which insane match-making company told you that?

It's not a company. It's my cousin. He's an expert in relationships.

- Expert my a**! - There's this thing called "Hoon Nam Jung Eum."

It's a relationship column. It's written by a real expert.

I'm going to fix you up!

No, please! I'm afraid of heights!

But I'm telling the truth!

Look at my face. Do you think I would be able to seduce multiple women with this face?

I learned everything from that expert.

I also used to be a Zero Member, Noona.

- I'm not your noona! - I'm sorry.

But, there were some bad women, too!

They took advantage of me!

I also wanted to carry out the same revenge!

An eye for eye, a tooth for tooth!

You're supposed to be reflecting on your actions right now, why are you preaching to me?

Hey! Hey! Are you not going to come here?

I'm giving you one last chance. Go and sincerely apologize to those women.

Do you understand? I asked, do you understand?

This is an agreement to accuse you for fraudulent behavior.

I met with every single one of them and persuaded them and got this.

Seven out of eight of them signed.

Just seven of them?

Who do you think is that one person?

Yoo Ri?

Coach Yang, you idiot!

Anyway, until this situation is fixed, you're going to be at my beck and call.

Pick up the phone within five seconds when I call you.

If you try to disappear, we'll cross the river of no return

and meet each other in court, understand?

Okay, three months.

I'll take care of all of them in three months!

Let's see...

What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do?

How in the world am I supposed to match them up in three months?

Is this Mission Impossible?

I'd rather rob a bank in Switzerland.

They say that you only need three seconds to fall in love.

Three months is 7,776,000 seconds.

You can fall in love 2,592,000 times, right?

Wow. You were like a math genius just then.

So eat this and do it.

- Aaah! - One, two, three.

This works...

What are you trying to do?

I read that this is how you give a forehead kiss in a magazine.

Wow!

What kind of doctor has enough time to read magazines?

This is actually kind of cool.

You should also have a look at it.

This is a magazine called "Le Chic" and it's popular among men.

I hate it. I don't read magazines.

There's a relationship column.

It seems pretty useful. I see why it's so popular.

That's enough. They're all just theories.

No, you should look at it at least once.

It's this thing called "Hoon Nam Jung Eum." It's well known among men who have never dated before.

"Hoon Nam Jung Eum"?

- It's my cousin. He's an expert in relationships. - Expert my a**!

There's this thing called "Hoon Nam Jung Eum." It's written by a real expert!

I heard that some matchmakers work with these relationship experts these days.

They give lectures and counseling to members.

Don't you think it'd work?

How do you think I seduced eight women with this face?

I really learned it all from that relationship expert.

I also used to be a Zero Member, Noona.

Give it to me.

[Hoon Nam Jung Eum, Chapter 2: Take advantage of every opportunity rather than being hung up on the rules.]

[Give her a spoonful of ice cream while she's reading a book.]

[Hoon Nam Jung Eum by Editor Charlie]

Hello, this is Le Chic.

Editor Charlie?

Yes, this is Charlie.

Hello.

I'm Yoo Jung Eum. I work for a match-making company called Geum Sang Chum Hwa.

I read the column you wrote, Hoon Nam Jung Eum—

It's okay, I am not buying.

Hello, I would like to meet Editor Charlie.

Charlie? Please wait a minute.

Okay.

Are you the head of the reporting team?

What?

He's right there.

Thank you.

I am sorry. Sorry! Sorry!

Can I meet Editor Charlie?

- Do you have an appointment? - No.

He's in the middle of a photo shoot. How can I help you?

I don't have a lot of time. Should I wait upstairs?

That would be great. Have a nice time.

Yes.

Okay! Nice!

You're sad right now. So sad.

It's pouring down, it's raining.

That's it! That's amazing!

Great!

We'll take a break.

You really are desirable.

Who else do you desire?

You're the only celebrity. There's one soccer player, but the other three are normal people.

You know, a decent looking office man type.

There's a doctor who I don't really like. He's as tall as you but his face is not pretty.

Are you looking for a doctor? I know a really handsome doctor.

Who?

He's a friend of mine. He has a tiny face—

But, I have been really curious about this for a long time, who are you?

Excuse me?

I am...

I'm from the matchmaking company, Geum Sang Chum Hwa. We talked earlier on the phone—

You scared me!

What?

Who are you?

Mr. Kim, take care of her.

What do you mean, "take care of her"?

The friend I just mentioned is really handsome. I told you I work at a matchmaking company.

I know a lot of doctors who are our members.

No...

Hello.

Are you done with the photo shoot?

Yes, just now.

Let's have a look at the big picture during the meeting next Monday.

You're taking too long planning the column these days.

If it's still like that this month, we might put an ad in that section next month.

Yes?

First, can I have a look at that doctor's face?

Yes.

- Why are you so late? We're apparently having the worst drought ever. - Oh, really?

Why did you come?

This. Can you remove this part?

This strange figure in the background.

What is...?

- What is this? - I also don't know.

I didn't notice it when we were taking the photo. But when I looked at it later, it was there. Do you think the film was exposed to light?

Hey, this is not because of the light. It's obviously a face.

Look right here. These are eyes and this is a mouth. What else could this be if it's not a person's face?

It's a bit blurry, but it's definitely a face.

Look carefully.

It looks like they're sticking their tongues out.

I get it. They were hanging upside down from a tree branch.

What a funny coincidence. How was this captured on camera?

This picture is amazing!

That's enough. Can you remove it?

How am I supposed to fix the original?

You have an expert on your team.

They work digitally. This is—

Charlie, I'm asking you.

I don't have the negative. This is the only copy.

The only picture I have with my mom, who has passed away.

I didn't touch it because I didn't want to damage it, but it bothers me too much.

- But— - I know, I know.

Do you know that we have a deadline this week? Got it, got it?

Aren't you going to eat with me?

I thought you had a deadline to meet.

So sassy. I know how much of a softie he is inside.

The youngest member of you team looked unfocused. It makes him look pathetic.

The process where you only show just enough emotion

and play easy or hard to get is a relationship.

Especially since relationships operate on a level of self-care nowadays.

Falling in love too quickly

doesn't make you seem romantic anymore.

Rather, it makes you appear like a novice, not having caught on to the changing rules of dating.

If you don't want to end up as the person who fell for an illusion,

or the fool who falls in love easily,

you need to be more experienced in controlling your emotions

and perfect how you express them.

♫ I know that dress is karma, perfume regret You got me thinking 'bout ♫

♫ when you were mine ♫

Is there a reason why you became a doctor at a rehabilitation clinic?

When I was a teenager, I used to think it'd be cool if I could take care of someone I like.

I think it started from that kind of show-off thinking.

You're so romantic.

Whoever you're dating must be very happy.

I'm not seeing anyone yet.

I know this is a cliché, but what's your ideal type?

Ideal type?

I've never really thought about it.

Someone who looks lively, even without makeup.

I like the kind of women who are natural and healthy.

Someone who has natural hair with no perm.

Someone who's not picky with food. Someone energetic.

Rather than someone who's too polished or trendy, I'd like someone who I can feel comfortable with, like a friend.

No, no, no!

I like someone who's really skinny with really long wavy hair who belongs in a city, a woman like that.

Yes, that's my type.

That's a wrap for the interview. Let's go get dinner.

I'd like to treat you.

- Give me the photo. - What's the rush?

What do you think? Pretty good, huh?

Yeah.

- What's this? - The original print.

I asked you to fix the original one, not give me a copy.

You have to keep the original as it is.

If you were going to do this, why do you think I—?

Say hello! This is the first person to be featured in "Desirable Man: The professionals."

Rehabilitation doctor, Choi Joon Soo.

Nice to meet you, I'm Choi Joon Soo.

- This is— - I'm Kang Hoon Nam.

What is this? This is a work of art.

Hey! Mr. Kim, come here and get a photo of the two of them!

A dragon and a tiger.

Who's the tiger and who's the dragon?

Don't worry about him. He's always like that because of his job.

Oh, I see.

If you haven't eaten, you should join us.

I actually have to get going. Enjoy your meal.

Don't worry about it. He's always like that.

What would you like to eat?

We can go wherever you'd like.

I wanted to take you to a good Spanish restaurant nearby.

I don't really like foreign food. I'm not very cultured.

You're so modest. You're the completely the opposite of him.

He's extremely prickly and snobby.

It seems like you guys are pretty close.

We met while we were in the army.

I see, it's like that then.

I used to go by Chul Soo, not Charlie, back then.

It stinks!

I'm sorry. I can't, sir.

You're not letting me change my underwear?

Let go. Let go!

Seriously? I said let go!

This is mine, sir.

Are you out of your mind?

I can just give you one of mine later!

I don't want other people's underwear, sir.

Oh, really?

Excuse me, Unni? Why did you come to the army then?

What are you looking at? If you joined the army, you'd better act like a man!

Acting like a little bi***...!

Then, do you think it's manly to take someone else's underwear?

And you called him a bi***? Please watch your mouth.

You think I'm unusual too, don't you?

I think you're detail-oriented and clean.

You're very perceptive of people.

I think it's more important to be true to yourself than try to satisfy everyone and get hurt along the way.

You have the right to be yourself.

You really have a great friend.

He's the one who made me the way I am today.

Do you want another drink?

I get drunk really easily.

Here you go.

I'm so happy!

I'm sorry.

Sorry about that.

Joon Soo!

I really need him!

My life is so hard.

Without him, I'm sad!

What are you doing right now?

Remember when I was being bullied by some girls—?

That's when you were eight years old. How much longer are you going to bring that up?

Then when we were in middle school...

Where do I need to go?

Do you think you could help Jung Eum out a bit?

You're an iconic figure in that field.

You can treat it like one of your columns.

Excuse me, Hoon Nam Jung Eum is...

- Are you okay? - Yes.

I don't write Hoon Nam Jung Eum.

You fool.

I'm not the writer!

- I brought you some bindaetteok (mung bean pancake). - Hey!

Did you drink?

Sir, I'm here!

Oh, you're here. Have you eaten?

I have. I brought you some bindaetteok by the way.

Do you have makgeoli?

Of course, we do. Hold on a second.

Sir, I already had dinner so I just need some kimchi.

Forget that. So what happened? Tell me, quickly.

How did it go? Is he going to help me?

Apparently, he's not the who writes the column.

What?

I don't know the details, but there's a ghostwriter.

I have his business card.

Hurry!

[Kang Hoon Nam]

Why are they using a different name for the column?

I'm sure there's a reason, like if he didn't want his identity to be known.

Is that so?

He might change what he said when he sobers up tomorrow.

I need to go now.

Share the bindaetteok with Dad. I'll be right back.

Right now?

Yeah, save me some. I'll eat it later when I come back!

Are you feeling okay?

You're not sick, are you?

It's heavy. You can call me when you need someone to carry heavy stuff.

Why are you here?

I thought I'd drop by on my way home.

You work in Yangpyeong and your house is in Jamsil, but you're dropping by Bulgang?

Sorry—

I just wanted to see you. I'll leave now.

Take this with you.

Thank you.

Awful jerk.

I was just getting over you.

What's gotten into you? You don't normally do this kind of stuff.

Hyung, by the way, can you go to jail for fraud?

I guess—

Did you do something?

To be honest, a manager from a match-making company I signed up for

keeps threatening that she'll sue me,

- just because I had a few one-night stands. - Hey!

I clearly told you that you have to behave yourself right now. With the situation right now, did you have to—?

It'd have been better if you were the one being scammed!

This is all your fault!

Why did you have to make me so charming!?

Are you crazy? I helped you when you were getting dumped all the time!

That's why, help me out with this, too.

That woman is really scary.

You probably know how to deal with an ignorant and violent woman.

Please save me, Hyung!

I don't write Hoon Nam Jung Eum.

You fool.

I'm not the writer!

Hoon! She didn't call.

Who are you talking about?

So, the thing is...

I had too much to drink... Put that thing away!

The column... I said that you wrote...

That's enough. I can't understand you at all right now.

Have a seat. I'll bring you some ice water.

What did you eat, anyway?

Disgusting!

Don't touch me.

Excuse me...

is there Mr. Kang Hoon Nam...?

Let go!

It's me, Geum Sang Chum Hwa.

Hoon Nam! It's her!

I'm from the matchmaking company, Geum Sang Chum Hwa. We talked earlier on the phone...

Hoon Nam! She's the one I was talking about!

Subtitles brought to you by The Undateables Team @ Viki.com

Are you... Kang Hoon Nam?

♫ Oh love, I love you, Only U ♫

[Hoon Nam Jung Eum: Episode 2 - Relationships are like fate.]

Relationships are like fate.

Just like it was predicted that the world would end, but the earth still hasn't collapsed,

you can never know what will happen in the end in with relationships.

That's what relationships are.

♫ Oh love, I love you, Only U I'm in big trouble ♫

♫ I think of you all day ♫

♫ My heart feels like it'll explode ♫

♫ I can't express it in words ♫

♫ I'm falling in love with you forever ♫

♫ I'm feeling like, I'm feeling this is love ♫

♫ I'm feeling good, I'm feeling this is love ♫

♫ I'm feeling like, I'm feeling this is love ♫

♫ I feel the love, do you feel the love ♫

[The Undateables]

Where did Jung Eum go?

She's going to find the relationship coach.

A relationship coach?

Go get me some chocolates and coffee.

Okay.

What am I, his slave?

I have no intention of cooperating with you at all. Leave.

- What do you need to come to an agreement? - Bait.

What kind of bait would work for him?

A woman?

Just throw in the bait for now.

She's a weird one.

Okay, what do you need from me?

He took the bait!

♫ Your love, I'm excited for it every day ♫