Original subtitles

Sir, you're born with fairy bones, your eyes show hoIy Iight.

You're a fairy descended on Earth, I've found you at Iast.

Don't go away.

Though I'm reveaIing Heaven's secret and wiII suffer,

it's just my destiny.

Even if it is more risky,

I have to teII your whoIe fortune.

Sir...

An Assorted NoodIe, pIease.

Since the noodIe hasn't been rinsed in coId water, so it tastes aIkaIine.

and the Fish BaIIs are tasteIess too.

You cook them as Curry Fish BaII

in order to cover this drawback.

But it's naive for you to do aII this.

As the woking time was not Iong enough.

the curry favour onIy stays outside,

the soup washes the taste away.

The Curry Fish BaII now becomes tasteIess,

neither fish nor curry.

What's a faiIure!

You haven't seIected the turnip, too much fibre, faiIure.

The pig skin are overcooked, faiIure.

The pig bIood is too soft, a faiIure too.

This pig coIon is the worst.

It's not properIy washed, you can find shit inside, how come?

Hey, shit!

Hey, shit, hey.

Hey, shit.

Just rub it away.

How about I promote that:

we can find shit in your food?

Nothing speciaI.

This is Assorted NoodIe!

$23.

You give me?

You'd better give me $30 for me to see a doctor.

PIease respect me, at Ieast I'm ''God of Cookery''

''God of Cookery''?

''God of Cookery''.

You're born with fairy bones, your eyes show hoIy Iight.

You're a fairy descended on Earth, I've found you at Iast.

I'm pretty famous in this district,

you needn't say, Bitch.

Hey, I'm onIy making a Iiving, you needn't hurt me by saying so.

Bitch.

Bastard.

Bitch... Bastard...

Competition of Supreme Chef of HK is now starting.

Let's have the honour of ourjudge tonight, ''God of Cookery''.

''God of Cookery'' wiII taste our first entry.

''King's Fired Rice'' prepared by Tai Long from Lung Fung Restaurant.

Good, you manage to steam the rice stuffed inside a shrimp...

...and seasoned by First CIass abaIone juice, then fry with bird nest.

At first gIance, this is common fried rice.

but in fact, it shows highest techniques,

you deserve being caIIed the ''King of Frying''.

However, they vaporised water made the rice too soft.

You've ignored the most basic technique offrying rice.

You must use over-night rice for frying rice, ''the King of Frying''.

Your rank: zero!

The next entry is ''MuIti-fish''

cooked by Lau Sam of Kam Kong Restaurant.

The ingredients incIude somei, garoupa and three other fish,

then reshape as a whoIe fish,

one side to be steamed and other to be deep-fried.

Each kind offish receives two favours,

and aItogether with ten different favours.

This fish is reaIIy...

...It's Iike being radiated, I just want to vomit.

Ask me to eat? Your rank: zero, go home and review yourseIf.

I... You're too dummy.

Not dummy, you've made extra fish.

You...you've made extra fish.

The next entry is ''GoIden Robe''

by Chan Tung of RoyaI Restaurant.

This vegetarian dish

shows the cutting techniques.

How Iong did you spend in carving the bean curd?

One whoIe day.

But you know it's become pungent,

can't you smeII that?

Yes, I do.

But this dish mainIy shows my fast carring skiIIs.

PIease show us your Ieft hand.

and now your middIe finger.

You've cut your finger, Fast Chopper.

Terrific!

Now the remaining entry is ''Secret Roast Goose''

by Yeung Chun Tin of Five Rams Restaurant.

It's seems he'II sureIy get the championship titIe.

It's aIready coId, your rank: zero, Finish.

HoId it.

Since it's caIIed ''Secret Roast Goose'', there must be some secret.

In fact, we onIy eat the paddy bird inside.

Those paddy birds have absorbed

the favour ofthe goose, and be keeping warm.

It's perfect to eat them now.

I've taken every detaiIs into account.

''God of Cookery'', you have nothing to compIain now?

Great! The Supreme Cook of HK is born now.

HoId it.

His rank is stiII zero.

What?

No way.

Why?

It's too ugIy.

ImpossibIe, I've speciaIIy seIected the paddy birds.

They're aII pretty and tasty.

I don't mean the paddy birds, I mean you.

I'm ugIy?

What has it got to do with my appearance?

Sure, how can I have appetite

when I see you appearance?

Therefore I dare not Iook at you.

But it's not a fauIt being ugIy.

Sure, being a chef,

you must be considerate for the guests.

Even femaIe stars in porn movies must get pIastic surgery on their busts.

Though you have potentiaI, you need a surgery on you face first.

PIease open his hands.

I never expected ''God of Cookery'' is so demanding.

Then how can we make a totaIIy perfect dish?

When taIking about cooking, we count on one word...

This Rainbow with FIowers is my dessert for you tonight

...and the word is: heart.

Right, we must reIy on our heart to make the perfect dish.

Very deIicious.

He's proud, but humbIe at the same time.

He tries not to be famous, but is admired by everybody.

He's made good use offire, the gift to human from God.

He can make the super dishes, reaI art offire.

Is he a fairy from heavens?

Or is he satin from heII?

No one wiII know.

But one thing is sure, everyone addresses him as:

''God of Cookery''

You onIy need to mention I'm fairy from heavens.

Why say I'm Satin from heII? Is heII reIated with me?

I wound Iike to add a IittIe bit mystery to you.

You meant to? Have you considered me?

A LittIe Bit mystery? Damn you!

A darkened screen with a spotIight on you

such that you Iook Iike a ghost.

Do you think this is not mystery enough?

I'm not shooing horribIe movies, man.

But the Director wants that.

Hire an assassin to kiII that Director

and then you.

With such a rubbish Director,

and such a Iousy MC as you.

You both conspire to pIay me a fooI.

Are you pIaying me a fooI?

Sorry, I guarantee to write the script properIy next time.

Rubbish, you are useIess guy. I'II go and amend it at once.

Remember, you're no more than rubbish,

roII back home instantIy.

My dear feIIows.

You've aII done a hard job.

We shouId It's our duty...

Mr. Tai. We aII understand that,''God of Cookery''.

It's my pIeasure...Mr. Lau, thanks...

I Iearn a Iot from you.

I shouId do this

You've made extra fish, you...

How Iong have you practised? Extra fish.

Just teII us ifyou need any heIp.

Sure I wiII...

Thanks for your commission.

You know you've taken my commission?

You know you've take my money, right?

Then you shouIdn't shout that out IoudIy there.

I'm so absorbed that I've announced it.

Mr. Yeung, shouting doesn't mean good acting.

You did shout that ''very DeIicious''

ironicaIIy and pejorativeIy.

Even a bIind knows you're onIy acting.

I was sucking with your acryIic and dioxide soIution.

Of course the acryIic and dioxide soIution,

otherwise I couIdn't write that out.

You shouId know this stuffweII.

This is reaIIy hard chore, this stuff. Sure this is

you're to take up this hard chore how dare you chaIIenge me?

You think you're reaIIy capabIe?

Ifyou're capabIe,

you'II be standing in my position right now, you are so fooIish.

Ifyou get on my nerves,

I'II kick you down there.

I'II hang up your dead body in Statue Square...

Suck these cigarettes ends and say ''Very DeIicious''

Say, untiI I ask you to stop.

Boss...Sorry to bother you, we wouId Iike to Ieave now.

Good..., sorry to bother you, Thanks.

Your share has risen,

why didn't you inform me?

Has it?

I reaIIy don't know, I swear, I don't know that myseIf.

Let's taIk business first,

I have a new product. I want to make use ofyour fame.

I'II see ifwe can co-operate.

''Instant Cup NoodIe''.

Maggie.

There are 53 kinds of instant Cup NoodIe in the market,

with a annuaI saIe figure of $1.3 biIIion,

cup noodIe get a share of 33%.

Very keen competition indeed.

Good packaging.

My nephew in charge of it, he admires you much.

Richard, greet Mr. Stephen.

Mr. Stephen.

Richard, you must have got higher IeveI education.

Har...Harvard University of US...A

Har...Harvard University of US...A

and Cam...Cambridge University.

Cam...Cambridge University.

DoubIe master degrees.

Let me expIain the design ofthis product.

What do you want to do?

Why do you come here?

Go on speaking there, you are not to stand here.

Where's you homeIand?

Chiu Chow.

Dame you, (Chiu Chow StyIe) do you know any basic manner?

You said you have Master degree? Is bastard degree, more appropriate?

Why are you going that side?

He caIIed you a bastard, do you hear?

OK, don't scare the youngster.

If I don't teach him, who wiII?

Keep caIm, don't trembIe.

Be good, smiIe.

The Fish BaIIs seem a bit Iousy.

They not eIastic at aII.

Why must they be eIastic inside the stomach? It's not Ping-Pong game.

Why not for Ping-Pong game?

So they're pretty eIastic after aII.

Come on, drink it, ass-hoIe.

ass-hoIe.

You can come any time ifyou have interest,

I'II try my best to heIp you.

I'II do whatever I can to heIp you.

Good brother Buddy.

ReaIIy good buddies?

You must heIp me.

I count on you, Iet's cheers.

I've got good bargain beef, caII this number ifyou want it.

But why don't you give me benefits on abaIone?

Excuse me, give way...

Sorry to bother you.

I'm BuII Tong,

graduate of Chinese Cookery Academy.

I can cook deIicious dishes.

Right, good cooks aIways resuIt being as beggars.

You've hired so many rubbish, no way.

Don't you know him? Isn't he your staff?

Fat BuII, which department you come from?

I am just a passing by.

What?

I do admire you, ''God of Cookery''.

I just wonder

ifyou wouId give me a chance.

Maybe you can hire me as an assistant.

Dame you!

Security. What do you want?

Catch him? I didn't say that.

You reaIIy want to foIIow me?

Yes, you can ask me to do whatever you Iike.

Go for a hard excretion in front ofthe Iift now.

This fatty is hard-working.

Contact Amy on 41st fIoor, tomorrow at 9.

Are you serious?

I Iike that.

Doing whatever you Iike proves your power.

Thanks.

I must thank you.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

Boss is dining here, so I've deIivered him a bottIe of red wine.

He's Iosing his temper right now.

What wine did you deIiver?

He wants one of '82.

This is of '82.

I deIiver him of '83.

Go take this for him at once.

Yes...

You go.

Boss, this bottIe is of '82.

Are you hungry?

Sit down and eat something.

How come?

I'm indeed a kind man, I don have sympathy.

You can never guess what I'II do next, go on eating.

How come this now?

Let me teII you,

you can never guess what I'II do next, just keep eating.

Once is enough, you can't fooI me a second time.

I won't Iet you guess

I want to fooI you again, no way.

Yes, I'm reaIIy nut.

I reaIIy can't figure what you're going to do next.

I've toId you a second time aIready.

Ifyou can guess,

I won't be caIIed ''God of Cookery''.

''God of Cookery'' is great.

Of course, I'II sureIy win.

''God of Cookery'' is great.

Get some narrow tabIes and smaII chairs,

so that customers can't sit comfortabIy,

and they'II Ieave as soon as possibIe after eating.

Get the thickest straws and biggest ice-cubes.

Then they can finish the drink fast and buy another ones.

Are you new-comer? Don't you need me to teach you?

Not fIexibIe at aII, ass-hoIe.

Mr. Chow, the ceremony may begin now.

Good, Iet's begin.

Are you ready?...

Yes.

Making big money.

CongratuIations.

Thanks, pIease serve yourseIves for the snack.

Your branch opens in opposite to my cafe again,

you respect me so much!

Don't I friendIy enough?

ass-hoIe

Mr. Chow, congratuIations...

Mr. Chow Thanks...drink more.

A fan wiII present you with fIowers, then you get on stage...

Who's so cIever as to get a fan to present fIowers?

We didn't hire her, she's reaIIy your fan.

What?

GirI student, nice and gentIe, she's been waiting for you so Iong.

Has she?

What a coincidence!

What a coincidence!

Hey, what a coincidence!

Hay...what...what a coincidence!

What a coincidence!

Good bye.

Mr. Chow...

Time to present fIowers

Yeah, I know.

Can we start now? I'm waiting for you.

''God of Cookery''.

Hey! UFO!

Dear guests,

the ceIebration for the opening of our 50th branch...

...is starting now.

We're seIected the time, we now invite God of Kitchen into the kitchen.

Since we have some spare time,

we now introduce a new set course to you.

''Deep First Love GoId SiIver Lovers Set MeaI''

Even Confucius and Jesus said: First Love is wonderfuI.

So we seIect this topic by using the top ingredients.

The price for the set meaI is $99.9 onIy.

A bonus stamp is issued to every meaI, ifyou coIIect 5 bonus stamps,

you can redeem

a ''Love Bone pendant'' with the price of $99.9.

As I have bIessed for this pendant,

it reaIIy heIps those young Iovers in their first Iove.

It's even more efficacious with the heIp of phiIter.

Let's have the honour for ''God of Cookery''

to demonstrate how to prepare this course.

Thanks, but pIease excuse

if I don't make a perfect show.

Ifyou can't make a perfect show, you won't be caIIed ''God of Cookery''.

Good...

First, we must prepare a pair of pigIets in Iove.

We shaII drain their bIood without their notification.

We then make use of their bIood...pig bIood

...the romantic bIood.

What? You feeI pity for your species?

I then deep fry their skin untiI they become goIden.

This is pig skin.

The true Iove pig skin.

Just pig skin.

I then get the fish meat

of ''Parisian Baguette''.

I'II pIace it over SentimentaI Indian Curry.

Curry Fish BaIIs?

Pig bIood, pig skin, fish baIIs, is their any turnip?

None ofyour business!

Go to serve the guests.

Of course we need some Iong-Iive-Iove Korean turnip

and a pig coIon.

We then pIace it on some raw noodIe.

Mix aII ingredients together, and there it is, ''Assorted NoodIe''.

You charge $99.9 for this common noodIe? Are you crazy?

But it's not easy to prepare deIicious

''Assorted NoodIe'' at aII.

You know, the simpIe dish are hard to prepare.

Just Iike that.

OK, Iet me try you ''Assorted NoodIe'' now.

The Curry Fish BaII are tasteIess, neither is the curry.

The pig skin are overcooked, faiIure.

The pig bIood is too soft, a faiIure too.

You haven't seIected the turnip, too much fibre, faiIure.

This pig coIon is the worst,

you can find shit inside.

Are you mistaken?

Are you performing taIk show?

You are so cIever but go back for a rest.

You aren't a conscious businessman.

Security...

I pick up this kind of bone in the rubbish bin every night.

and you seII it at $100?

I cannot cheat customers Iike the way you do.

I won't heIp you do this any more.

What ''God of Cookery'' are you? You know nothing but cheating customer.

Can you reaIIy cook? Can you chop ingredients?

Take over, I'II Ieave now.

He is asking you,

answer him before you Ieave.

What?

Great!

You're not quaIified to be caIIed ''God of Cookery''.

I won't argue with you here, shut up.

You aren't even unabIe of seIIing ''Assorted NoodIe'' in the street.

Sorry, you're no Ionger a staff of our corporation.

I'II caII for poIice ifyou keep buIIshit.

Who are you to taIk in front of me? I'm the reaI ''God of Cookery''.

You're not abIe to cIeaning shoes for me, bastard.

Want to fooI me?

I don't fear, come on...

I can kiII your whoIe famiIy.

You needn't threaten me.

Someone is messing here, no photos.

Dare you take up a chopper

and cook something for us.

You mean I can't cook?

Being chef, you don't even have the strength of hoIding a chopper.

Let me teach you

how to prepare a bowI of deIicious ''Assorted NoodIe''.

You must have the heart to cook.

I'm the reaI ''God of Cookery''.

I never know... I reaIIy never know what you do next.

I'm graduate of Chinese Cookery Academy.

I can cook very weII, I can reaIIy cook.

Good cooks aIways resuIt being as beggars...

You're great, ''God of Cookery''.

I'm the reaI ''God of Cookery''.

Mr. Chow, more than 50 customers feeI sick

after eating beef at your restaurant.

We suspect you use British beef to serve guests.

We want you to assise us in our investigation now.

I've got good bargain beef, caII this number ifyou want it.

SmaII chairs and thick straws.

Big ice-cubes and hot French fries.

So that the kids get thirsty after eating.

You shouId know this. Don't you need me to teach you?

This wiII be bad to the chiIdren's heaIth.

Besides kicking you,

did Stephen Chow beat you with his fists?

No, he didn't.

It gets on my nerves, don't force me anymore.

I am a good guy.

Throw him out.

You haven't seIected the turnip, too much fibre, faiIure.

The pig skin are overcooked, faiIure!

The pig bIood is to soft, a faiIure too!

This pig coIon is the worst.

It's not property washed, you can find shit inside, how come.

This is ''Assorted NoodIe'',

it's not strange to have shit inside.

$23 doIIars

You pay me?

You'd better pay me $30 for me to see a doctor.

PIease respect me, as Iease I'm ''God of Cookery''.

''God of Cookery''?

''God of Cookery''!

It's true, I'm notjoking.

HeIp me, buddy, even a IittIe bit.

Give me some money, pIease...

I beg you, pIease...

Forget it...

Don't hinder us doing business.

OK!

How do you feeI?

I'm fine...

It's bIeeding, shit...

I must reaIIy see a doctor this time, pIease give me some money?

Want to pay me a fooI? No...

I'm sorry, brother...

I'II fooI on ifyou insist on it. No...

Let's be friendIy to each other.

Buddies, I'm ''God of Cookery'', pIease give me face.

Sorry...excuse me...

Beat him! Kick him to death!

Dare you do business here?

Cut his hand off

Beat him!

What is it?

Nothing.

Let me beat him too.

Don't beat anymore... pIease...

You needn't beg, move...

Just a bIow! Move...

May be haIf bIow?

Are you hungry?

A IittIe bit.

Want to eat something?

As you Iike.

This bowI of rice...

is very deIicious.

Hey, heIp us!

Goosehead, I'm onIy a woman, Don't you insuIt me?

I remember UncIe Kwan's assistant

chopped on my head...

...but I managed to chop him back,

and they aII caII me ''Twin Dagger Turkey''!

I've seen everything since I fooIed in TempIe Street when I was 12.

You now take this ass-hoIes to ruin my pIace?

You can't scare me!

Turkey, what do you mean?

If I want to ruin you pIace, I'II take more guys with me.

I just want to inform you,

aII ''Pissing Shrimp'' wiII be ours from now on.

Who do you think you are?

I haven't asked you about ''Beef baII''!

As you say, just shit!

OK, we share ''Beef BaII'', I'II take up ''Pissing Shrimp''!

We needn't taIk about ruIes then.

I'm setting ruIes with you now,

we make it 40-60% share.

You 40%, we 60%.

No, you think I'm dummy?

What ifwe make it 10-90%? I get 90%, and you 10%.

Don't move!

Stand there or I'II chop you, buddy.

Stand property!

Don't fooI! Stand property!

OK, we Iet you have ''Pissing Shrimp'', can you handIe?

Ifwe can't, you mean you can?

Our ''Pissing Shrimp'' are so weII-known.

We have perfect proportion of chiII and saIt,

we change oiI every night too...

We guarantee we use fresh oiI.

We have strong stoves, and the shrimps are so crispy.

But you spoiI the favour.

Who is shouting out IoudIy?

But our boiIed ''Pissing Shrimps'' are better.

Shit, go make your shit beef baIIs!

Since you faiI to make tasty Beef baIIs, you want to take up ''Pissing Shrimps''.

Ifyou don't make beef baIIs, I take over aIso.

You don't catch the chance we offer you!

Shit,

mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

Who is speaking up again?

Who dare to interrupt me?

Don'tjust suspect of my guys,

your guys can interrupt too.

My men are weII-educated, they wiII never interrupt.

Won't they!

Each ofyou speak out: Shit, mix the''Pissing Shrimps''and Beef BaIIs

Did that guy say ''Shit''?

Yes, I have sharp ears.

You say first! You say first!

Me first: Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

No, not you.

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

You!

Must I speak it whiIe swaying?

As you Iike.

Shit, mix the...sorry...

Go ahead.

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

You!

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

What did you say?

Fukien diaIect.

Fukien diaIect? Go home to eat shit!

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps''...

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

Shit! Beef BaIIs...

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

You!

What are you Iaughing?

Say it.

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

You.

Shit mix...

You.

Shit, mix the ''Pissing Shrimps'' and Beef BaIIs

Wait.

Say it again.

You!

Shit...mix!

Say it cIearIy.

...mix!

Bastard, it's you.

Shit, how can you recognize me?

Your voice is horribIe, I can recognize easiIy.

Turkey, he's your guy, what do you say?

Give me the knife.

Your bastard, you keep buIIshit.

Which finger you want me to cut off?

The naiI, pIease.

What?

Who dare touch him in my pIace?

What do you mean?

He's my guy, so I must speak up for him.

You mean you don't foIIow the ruIes, beat it.

Bastard!

What is it?

Don't move!

Sister Turkey, I've thought over...

From now on, aII ''Pissing Shrimps'' and ''Beef BaIIs'' beIong to you.

Is it OK?

Sorry to bother you.

It's OK, we're buddies.

It's rare to find a righteous person Iike you.

Righteous and honesty...

...is vaIuabIe.

I dare to go to heII to fight.

I'm wiIIing to sacrifice for buddies.

I'm wiIIing to die for girIs.

Good buddies.

My bIood is bIeeding for Iove.

I'm prepared to die.

Who dare to chaIIenge me?

''Pissing Beef BaIIs''?

Right.

Why are they so eIastic.

As these beef baIIs are empty in the inside.

It's Iike the theory of air-soIe sports shoes.

May I try?

Quick.

Very eIastic!

EIastic? Yes, eIastic!

We count on her.

''Sister Turkey'' has strong wrist strength.

OnIy she can make such perfect beef baIIs.

The beef must undergo 26,800 times beating and mixing.

But why is it caIIed ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''?

Try the whoIe thing and you'II know.

I've never had this experience before.

The freshness of beef with the sweetness of shrimps.

This combination

even better than royaI dishes.

They're even better than my first Iove memory.

Looking at the moon which reminds me thinking of homeIand.

Good poem...

Are you aIright?

This is reaI good stuff!

I've thought of a name: ExpIosive Pissing Beef BaIIs.

We're going to make big money this time.

BuIIshit! You think I am nuts?

It's not so easy to make money.

I buy him! What shouId we do next?

We shouId open our first restaurant

and earn our first Iog of money.

Then I can buy a new set of karaoke soon?

Turkey, what you just said is ajoke?

We shouId first buy a fIat to earn the rent, ain't I cIever?

Sure.

If up to me, I wiII open more branches.

We can open two, then four, then eight branches...

Then we can become pubIic companies and coIIect capitaI.

We can seII shares and do reaI estate business, nuts!

We can make a sub-division in the stock market.

With the dividends, we needn't work at aII.

You're Iaughing? You know aII this?

I don't know but I find it seems meaningfuI.

Granny, Iet me serve you ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''.

You won't piss on your pants after eating them.

Very interesting.

They're reaIIy free of charge?

One take away.

We've done the first transaction aIready.

We're one step cIoser of becoming a pubIic company.

Why haven't you gave me the report yet?

Yes, coming.

He's eating.

It's here.

It's free, come in and eat as much as you can.

Not free! What do you mean...

Action!

The hottest issue in town is

''Averse to food'' infecting everyone,

but it's been cured by a so caIIed ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''.

It's been seIIing hot within a short time.

The inventor of this ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''

is the man of Iegend...

Stephen Chow,

the former ''God of Cookery''.

Stephen Chow,

why are your ''Pissing Beef BaIIs'' so popuIar?

I think... it's unfair to ask me this way.

You'd better ask the customers why they rush to eat it.

LittIe boy, why do you Iike eating ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''?

Since eating ''Pissing Beef BaIIs'', I find myseIf much cIeverer,

I've got fuII marks in each examination.

ReaIIy so heIpfuI?

I've become prettier and prettier after eating it...

I've grown up a Iot since eating it,

I've got back my confidence.

Are you going to get back your fame since you make a success here?

Get back my fame?

CouId you teII us the secret of success ofyour ''Pissing Beef BaIIs''?

It's simpIe, deIicious, new and interesting.

Interesting? How come?

You're pIaying Ping-Pong with it?

This stuff deserves trying.

It's tasty and interesting, I can't heIp buying one for myseIf.

How come...

he made a fame with such triviaI stuff?

Don't worry, itjust a triviaI stuff.

He can't make a reaI success with them.

I just fear he'II come back for us after he's made a fame.

Everyone in HK knows

beef baIIs that can pIay Ping-Pong.

WiII I reaIIy piss after eating?

You'II sureIy have diarrhea after eating it...

Isn't it miracIe?

Great!

It's a miracIe, though you've had such a good start,

it's a bit risky to pIedge aII your properties,

I find it risky to open 20 branches at the same time.

You find it risky?

What ifwe first open 2 branches?

Mr. Chow, since you've made a first success,

you needn't bet aII your money in the next step.

Don't buIIshit! You know nothing about it!

I don't need you teach me running business.

Mr. Chow, but with your past record...

it's hard for our bank

to Iend you a Iump sum.

I guess you have no confidence in our beef baIIs.

In fact, I've never tried them.

I seIdom eat this kind of snack.

PIease try some.

Try some!

You reaIIy Iend him the money?

Thanks!

I'm just doing what you asks me to.

I know what he has in mind,

he wants to open branches.

AII his branches wiII be

in remote pIaces.

He has one in urban area, but a basement branch.

Hey, do you know feng shui?

You know this word?

Die!

See, he'II get inside an impasse!

Lend whatever he wants, Iet him dig his own grave!

What? PIease repeat!

They've made use ofthe money to manufacture cans.

Manufacture cans?

Right.

They'II be soId in aII 2,800 supermarkets and convenient stores.

I've input aII the shops Iocation into the computer.

Sure win!

I can't predict what he's doing.

Of course, I wiII sureIy win!

Excuse me...

Excuse me...pIease...

Stephen Chow...What is you feeIing...

ofyour being eIected the Genius of Food and Beverage?

I find it Iike a dream...

it aIso proves HK is a pIace for miracIes

Ifyou work hard, aII dreams may come true.

Ass-HoIe!

Ass-HoIe!

Where've you been? You haven't contact me for a Iong time.

I thought you were dead.

I'm reaIIy dead! But you must be convinced!

Why must I be convinced?

You never expected me reborn again?

I'm convinced!

I nearIy forget to congratuIate on you.

Our shops aIways get rewards,

but it's rare for your Iousy friends to get such a reward.

What did you say?

It's a wonderfuI worId, you must be reaIIy convinced.

Why must I be convinced?

If I hadn't got this award,

I wouIdn't be eIigibIe for Competition of ''God of Cookery'' next month.

I'm reaIIy convinced for this.

Smart!

I don't mean to show others I'm capabIe.

I just want to teII others that

I can get back what I have Iost.

Let me say the truth,

Mr. Chow, you're reaIIy capabIe

but you must try to Iearn some practicaI cooking.

Chinese Cookery Academy?

I'II appIy in tomorrow morning.

Good! I'm gIad to hear that.

I don't care how wicked,

sIy you were in the past,

ifyou improve yourseIf, we'II sureIy give you another chance,

PIease don't beat me...

I'm aIways an honest man, I never Iie,

I say aII this to wish you weII.

My onIy mistake in my Iife is underestimuting you...

Oh...Mr. Chow...

Look at him...

how naive and IoveIy he is!

Very vivid too!

You're smart at pissing and dumping...

I didn't know you're smart at eating shit too!

Stop beating!...

Don't move!...

I must kiII this bastard! I want him to die!

OK! Let's kiII him!

Don't move!...

It's fixed, it's over.

What do you mean be ''fixed''?

Something is happening, Iet me go and find him!

You'd better save that.

You know nothing but fighting, did I ask you to fight?

You must watch my ideas! It's not TempIe Street here.

You never improve.

What are you Iooking? Want to beat me too?

Never mind her!

Brothers...

We've been staying in TempIe Street for 20 years.

Now we're going to set into big business and go outside.

Wish our ''Pissing Beef BaIIs'' succeed more!

Cheers! Cheers!

Let me congratuIate you on... studying cooking in China tomorrow,

...so that you can get back your titIe of ''God of Cookery''.

None ofyour business!

I was onIyjoking.

Everybody, it's our Iast night in this street.

Look carefuIIy,

we'II rush out of TempIe Street tomorrow and chaIIenge the worId!

Sister Turkey says she won't Ieave.

What does she think?

Sister Turkey said she wiII not Ieave her homeIand.

Good! She's got to be a good wife.

I know you Iove her for a Iong time.

Love you bastard!

Sister Turkey was pretty in before.

So he Iove her indeed.

Turkey was very pretty in 3 years ago,

but she had her face spoiIed at a quarreI.

Why did she have a quarreI?

No one ever toId me, I just don't know.

I know the incident, I was the onIy witness.

UncIe Kwan's men came to have supper that night.

He tore apart Turkey's ''fIag''.

Tore apart her ''fIag''?

Who tore my ''fIag''?

You ass-hoIe tore my fIag to cIean your running nose?

Damn it! We provide toiIet paper here.

Have you asked me?

What did you say?

I Iike using this to cIean my nose.

What can you do to me?

You know who I am? Dare you taIk to me Iike this?

Stop tearing her fIag, just ruin her pIace, now!

Act! Got it!

Dare you fight back?

The chop he gave her was from hers forehead to nostriIs

Here, right at the entrance of her staII,

he stabbed into her spine...

...and that injured her nerve system,

so she has outpost teeth.

She has to endure her face aII her Iife now.

That ''fIag'' reaIIy harms her.

What ''fIag''?

It's your ''fIag''.

My ''fIag''?

The ''fIag'' of ''God of Cookery''.

Your posters are reaIIy everywhere.

EspeciaIIy the one you're hoIding a smaII kid.

She says you're fuII of paternaI Iove.

She's your number one crazy fan.

''God of Cookery''!

I must congratuIate you then.

Fat Snow! What do you mean, Fat Snow?

I'm taIking to you. I've asked you not to teII others.

In fact, she asked me to teII you ifthere's such a chance.

WeII, you've toId him aIready, it's nothing to be shamefuI of.

It gets on my nerves!

You'II go back aIone to China tomorrow?

No one accompanies you? Let me go with you then.

Taxi!

Where are you?

Where? I'm in China.

You needn't rush away,

Turkey is so kind to you.

Don't buIIshit, I can't find Chinese Cookery Academy now.

No, I've asked peopIe about it.

Right...I find everything here, toiIets, tempIes...

...butjust no Chinese Cookery Academy.

No way,

Maddy's sister's mother's brother's son says there is.

Why don't you come back first?

Come back? Don't you know I am escaping?

Don't worried, Turkey is not here right now.

She's disappeared since you went away.

Where did she go?

I catch you at Iast!

Good! Catch you now!

You Iet me catch you at Iast...

What happens? What happens?

I've bought you much daiIy sundries.

You Ieft so hurriedIy, I couIdn't give them to you Iast time,

so I come aII the way for you.

Don't waste aII these stuff.

Thanks.

Hey, pIease do me a favour.

Draw a heart here, with an arrow passing through it.

Stop fooIing around.

Just a souvenir, come on.

Turkey, Iet me teII you.

I feeI sorry as this happened to you.

I am reaIIy touching...

But I don't want that, you know?

Sure, of course I know.

Come on, draw it for me, come on.

No probIem, drawing a heart is nothing speciaI.

We're buddies, Iet's make things cIear first.

I've come aII the way here

just to ask you draw me a heart,

but you're Iosing your temper for that?

Even ifyou forget I've done so much for you,

you must remember I covered for you and got injured.

I didn't ask you to do aII this for me.

I didn't ask you to get injured for me either.

What's that got to do with me?

According to your theory, if everyone comes to get injured for me...

then I'II be running into great troubIe.

Many things are destined and pIanned by heavens.

It's useIess even ifyou are injured 20 more times,

you know?

Do you understand?

Hey, do you understand?

OK.

How come?

What?

It's rare astronomy phenomena: Nine stars joining into one.

When this happens, there is aIways something strange happening.

Don't worry, he'II disappear forever.

The 28th Competition of ''God of Cookery''

is start after one minute.

Let's have the honour of ourjudge...

Chairperson of internationaI Gourmet Society, the 'Princess of Taste'...

Miss Nancy Sit

HaIf minute to start.

According to the ruIes,

aII Iate comers wiII be disquaIified.

No excuse is aIIowed.

AII participants, pIease get into your position.

I've checked, no one is coming,

the match wiII start soon.

Bastard, what's a surprise.

Isn't he...

Madam, pIease go faster.

This is the fastest I can.

No way out.

Just arrive on time.

You?

Amida Buddha.

Who are you?

Dean of ShaoIin Monastery, my name is ''Wet Dream''.

Amida Buddha.

I come and Ieave with the wind.

Hey, I'm a good friend of Stephen Chow, pIease respect me.

I beg you...pIease.

Security throw, this guy away.

PIease cIose the gate

and prevent anyone with wet dreams coming in.

OK, the Iast participant has arrived.

The match start now.

I won't move before my enemies take action.

I wouId Iike to know, why Stephen Chow Iooks Iike this.

Why does he dress in ancient cIothing? Why does aII his hair become white?

Is there a wire

so that he can fIy over water?

Sir, He's now an understudy of ShaoIin Monastery.

ShaoIin Monastery.

Amida Buddha.

I can onIy teII you, He's Iinked with Buddha.

Base on sympathy, I received him as a understudy.

Don't move!

You have wounded by poisonous throne.

LuckiIy the poison hasn't arrived your brain.

otherwise you'd die at once.

I've sucked out 80% ofthe poison aIready.

Let me suck the remaining,

pIease.

Leave me aIone!

I won't force you since you refuse.

You'II be in troubIe, Dean is very narrow-mined.

I hate peopIe taIking about me behind my back.

Out!

Out!

Me out?

We're choosing ''God of Cookery'', not cIown in a circus.

Besides being a master in cooking,

God of cookery must be smart.

You want to be ''God of Cookery''?...

No way!

Eighteen Brassmen of ShaoIin Monastery?

Right! Eighteen Brassmen of ShaoIin Monastery!

You've enraged the Dean, you want to escape? No way!

Out!

Why?

Look at you, has your fatherjust died?

Go home and face the mirror, out!

What are you Iooking at?

Out!

Why?

Being ''God of Cookery'', one must have concentration.

AII ofyou keep standing here

when I mereIy move, shit!

You make me disappointed, out!

Ifyou keep fauIting them out, there'II be no one Ieft.

I know it!

Since the beginning ofthe match,

I've found two guys keeping caIm,

They are the onIy two quaIified participants.

Why did you kiII peopIe?

You taught me that.

As I Iike it.

PIease reform and beIieve in Buddha.

WeII, I'm making the dish ''Buddha Jumping WaII''.

What a coincidence! I'm making ''Buddha Jumping WaII'' too.

Don't think...

you'II be sure win by dressing in ancient costume.

I can do that too! Want to become ''God of Cookery''? TiII after you die.

Super-styIe cutting!

Supreme-styIe chopping!

Good Chopping!

So fast!

Eighteen-styIe frying!

Dog-beating sauteeing!

Good frying!

Objection! He is copying me!

Did he?

He does exactIy what I'm doing!

Does he?

Look! You see now?

But this is a competition.

It's Iike racing and swimming,

everyone is doing the same thing.

There's nothing to object.

OverruIed!

Thanks!

Bastard!

See you how to receive this chopper?

UncIe...

Nothing serious... it's onIy the back ofthe chopper...

The back ofthe chopper? Right.

You've reaIIy visited Chinese Cookery Academy?

Don't pretending,

Chinese Cookery Academy is indeed the kitchen of ShaoIin Monastery.

You're aIso a dropout of ShaoIin Monastery!

ImpossibIe!

I have studied for ten years,

but you have studied for onIy one month, you can't be so smart!

It's depended on taIent.

Eighteen Brassmen of ShaoIin Monastery!

Damned fooI!

OK, the smaII ''Ten''.

One ''Ten'', right? Pass.

Pass? I know you wiII pass me.

''Queen'' ''Queen''?

Man, when can I Ieave this pIace?

''Two'', onIy after the Dean says OK.

When wiII Dean say that, Man?

Look...

That oId bag enraged Dean when he was 13,

so he's been detained here tiII now.

What does that mean?

You pass ''Five of a Kind''? Pass.

What does that mean? You Iost doubIe this time.

UnreasonabIe.

Eighteen Brassmen of ShaoIin Monastery!

Besides I Iearnt cooking skiIIs in the kitchen of ShaoIin Monastery,

I aIso Iearnt supreme Kung Fu from the eighteen Brassmen.

These eighteen Brassmen are reaIIy great.

I don't beIieve that!

Good ''FIying SkiIIs''!

The secret of ''FIying SkiIIs''

it can make a man as heavy as a seaI...

fIy up high in the sky, and make ghosts cry.

Good foIding chair!

The secret of ''FoIding Chair''

it's hidden in common househoId.

We can sit on them and turn them into weapons.

Even poIice can't charge you ofthem.

It's ranked top in the seven weapons.

Just beat two more strokes, onIy 3 minutes Ieft, watch out for time.

Don't shout!

It's bad!

It's bad? How bad?

We do not aIIow ''Buddha Jumping WaII'' to expIode.

You shouId have been disquaIified.

...but I consider that you are quite creative.

Two minutes Ieft, make another one.

OnIy two minutes, you can onIy make sasumi,

give up man!

Good ''InternaI SkiIIs''!

He uses ''InternaI SkiIIs'' to raise the temperature.

So the ''Buddha Jumping WaII'', which originaIIy takes 49 hours to cook,

...can now be made in 2 minutes.

May I ask what is the most tasty thing you've even eaten in your Iife?

You shouId ask this question to yourseIf.

Ask myseIf?

Right.

Who are you taIking to?

This is supersonic chatting.

This is...

''Kouyum SkiII''? Wrong!

This is ''SorrowfuI Hand''.

''SorrowfuI Hand''?

This is a styIe created by him.

One day, I saw him...

...singing sorrowfuIIy.

Righteous and honesty is vaIuabIe.

I dare to go to fight.

I'm wiIIing to sacrifice for buddies.

I'm wiIIing to die for girIs...

His hair turned white overnight.

His Iove is so deep.

What is Iove? Why is forever?

Finding he is addicting to Iove, I forgave him.

I never know you're such a romantic man.

Lost skiII of ShaoIin Monastery: ''Fire Fist''!

Time's up! The match is over!

It smeIIs good!

It smeIIs good! Right!

Yeah, This is...

Super Seaview ''Buddha Jumping WaII''!

Good! Good! Good!...

This ''Buddha Jumping WaII'', prepared by ''InternaI SkiIIs''...

is so weII prepared, not thick nor thin, and not so unctuous.

The nine ingredients make up a totaI of 81 varieties.

The fIavours stack up one Iayer by one Iayer.

It deserves to be caIIed: ''Super Seaview Buddha Jumping WaII''!

And this is...

''SorrowfuI Rice''.

What's wrong with you? This is just ordinary BBQ Pork Rice.

With just one extra egg on it,

costs onIy $22 at most.

Why you caII it ''SorrwfuI Rice''?

Don't pretend being smart!

BuIIshit! I dare say...

no one dare say ''Smart'' in front of me.

WiII you pIease keep quiet!

BBQ Pork, good BBQ Pork!

I've never eaten such good BBQ Pork!

HeIp...

The gravy is kept inside the meat fibre.

It's so tender and juicy.

They're so soft and bouncy to eat.

With the extra egg made by ''Fire Fist'',

the taste of BBQ Pork is unbeIievabIe.

Why? Why? Why?...

Why do you Iet me eat such good bowI of BBQ Pork Rice?

What shaII I do ifyou don't cook it for me in future?

What is it?

Why tears burst out from my eyes?

I have a sorrowfuI feeIing.

It's onion, I've added onion inside.

Oh! It hits the topic!

So there's onion!

This bowI of rice is reaIIy touching.

No wonder It's caIIed ''SorrowfuI Rice''.

It's reaIIy so sorrowfuI!

It's too touching!

WonderfuI!

However...

If my husband were not so horny

and caught in a trap...

If I were not greedy and caught whiIe I was cheating.

The worst is...

Greet the Boss. Boss.

Even my good son has been kicked and joint the triad now.

These guys are reaIIy hoIding me by the baIIs, I...

The ''God of Cookery'' is...

BuII Tong!

BuII Tong is finaIIy ''God of Cookery''!

You've wasted your breath, you stiII have to choose me.

There's no ''God of Cookery''.

What? What did you say?

Maybe everyone is ''God of Cookery'' What do you mean?

Don't buIIshit, present the prize.

Even parents, brothers, sisters and Iovers, as Iong as they have hear

What do you mean?

Everyone can become ''God of Cookery''.

He becomes crazy due to Iost, caII for ambuIance.

''God of Cookery'', get back to your position.

''God of Cookery'', you used to be fairy in mastering cooking skiIIs,

but you committed heavens ruIes,

so you were punished to descend to Earth.

Today, you finaIIy know the truth of cooking.

You've shown your Iove in the rice you cooked.

Even King of Heavens are impressed.

But you reveaIed Heavens secret, you shouId be punished.

I spare you now as you did that out of deep Iove.

Stephen, you've invested a Iot!

You even hire faked fairy.

Good! I'II see what you can do with fairy.

Ask the fairy to heIp you...

You bIack mouth dog, you don't keep guard at the door.

I must resume your originaI appearance.

You want to try too?

No!...none of my business, I'm onIy passing by!

I know no one in here.

I don't know the guys who were shooting!

BuIIshit! You're worse than a dog!

UncIe reaIIy becomes a dog!

RidicuIous! Nothing happen to me!

This is onIy iIIusion!

You never scare me!

Everything is possibIe, is it Christmas now?

Sir, you're born with fairy bones, your eyes show hoIy Iight.

You're a fairy descended on Earth, I've found you at Iast!

How come there are so many fairies?

Yes!

Fairies are everywhere in the street.

Even Santa CIaus is a fairy.

Don't BuIIshit!

Wait, I can teII you about your marriage,

show me your paIm.

Your marriage is soon coming, soon...

Is it reaIIy true? No way?

It's true, it's she who asked us not present in the match.

As she concerned you wouId Iost concentration.

Yes.

No way!

ReaIIy, she resisted the buIIet with her goId teeth.

She survives, doctor gives her new teeth,

and even pIastic surgery, she's become pretty now.

No way!

It's true!

Look, here she comes.

Is it Pretty?

Just say something, is she pretty?

I shouIdn't say anything now.

Give it back to you!