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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,010 --> 00:01:05,010 Shut up. You are such a silly man. 2 00:01:05,094 --> 00:01:07,510 You think I don't know what my job is. 3 00:01:07,593 --> 00:01:09,844 All I do is create chaos. 4 00:01:09,927 --> 00:01:11,552 That is what you're going to get. 5 00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,468 Trust me, I'm quite serious. 6 00:01:13,552 --> 00:01:15,218 I already started putting more money 7 00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,510 into groups of little punks in Grozny, 8 00:01:17,593 --> 00:01:19,844 nationalistic skinheads... 9 00:01:22,301 --> 00:01:23,677 Doesn't matter. 10 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,010 Doesn't matter. 11 00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:27,426 Listen. Two things matter: 12 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:29,010 They need to have a good name 13 00:01:29,094 --> 00:01:31,094 so that they seem like a movement. 14 00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:33,677 But then also crucial is we have to fund 15 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,260 the little whatever-they're-called young socialists 16 00:01:37,343 --> 00:01:39,426 or whatever is the opposite. 17 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:42,885 Yes. Non-skinheads. 18 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:46,885 Hey... get some hippie kids from the university 19 00:01:46,969 --> 00:01:50,635 who listen to folk music and love gays and Pussy Riot 20 00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:53,677 and the "power to the people." 21 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,176 Yes. Exactly. 22 00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:57,094 It definitely will confuse some people. 23 00:01:57,176 --> 00:01:59,760 We need to confuse some people. 24 00:01:59,844 --> 00:02:01,010 We got this. 25 00:02:01,094 --> 00:02:03,760 The takeaway here is, I am on a trip. 26 00:02:03,844 --> 00:02:05,176 I will be right back. 27 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,885 It is personal. 28 00:02:06,969 --> 00:02:10,718 That is why they are called personal days. 29 00:02:10,802 --> 00:02:13,552 Just tell them, "You either ride with us 30 00:02:13,635 --> 00:02:15,052 or collide with us." 31 00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:20,718 Yes, you might say, "You have no choice." 32 00:02:20,802 --> 00:02:23,343 Or "My way or the highway." 33 00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:27,343 But someone who is a non-idiot 34 00:02:27,426 --> 00:02:30,552 might say what I have suggested. 35 00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:33,161 You are aware that sometimes you come off 36 00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,927 like you've never managed a democracy before. 37 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,010 Peace. 38 00:02:39,468 --> 00:02:40,593 My God. 39 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:45,176 I do not even really have time to take a shower. 40 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:47,510 She's supposed to get here at 8:00. 41 00:02:47,593 --> 00:02:49,176 You'll never be sad 42 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,927 if you take a shower before you meet a woman. 43 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,218 - How's your room? - It's a dump. 44 00:03:01,301 --> 00:03:04,343 It's fine. It's identical to this one. 45 00:03:04,426 --> 00:03:07,635 "What a dump! What's that from?" 46 00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:10,635 Liz Taylor doing Bette Davis. 47 00:03:10,718 --> 00:03:12,927 I know! That's what she says. She asks that. 48 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,718 She says "What's this from?" 49 00:03:14,802 --> 00:03:16,885 - It's in the play, it's not me. - I know. 50 00:03:16,969 --> 00:03:19,885 But seriously, why did you choose this place? 51 00:03:19,969 --> 00:03:23,135 Yeah, I did not want to come on too strong, you know. Too fancy. 52 00:03:23,218 --> 00:03:27,176 She seems very down-to-earth in her emails. 53 00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,385 Well, I won't be out too late tonight. 54 00:03:29,468 --> 00:03:31,385 If this one-horse town has no piano bar, 55 00:03:31,468 --> 00:03:33,760 I will search out this famous "Walmart." 56 00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:36,927 It's so nice to see how different countries do their packaging. 57 00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,135 I love it. 58 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,760 There I will buy a six-pack of beer 59 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,176 because for some reason there is no hotel bar here. 60 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:44,260 Which was definitely your mistake. 61 00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:47,593 You know something, most girls do not want to meet a man 62 00:03:47,677 --> 00:03:50,426 for the first time in a motel room. 63 00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,260 I explained the situation and I already said 64 00:03:53,343 --> 00:03:55,927 there will be security here and all that. 65 00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:58,802 She understands. It's normal. 66 00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:01,468 It's normal perhaps for some kind of important 67 00:04:01,552 --> 00:04:03,468 political technologist in our country, 68 00:04:03,552 --> 00:04:05,218 but for her it's non-standard. 69 00:04:05,301 --> 00:04:06,760 Let me see you. 70 00:04:06,844 --> 00:04:09,635 Bars, public spaces, that's normal. 71 00:04:09,718 --> 00:04:11,260 - Hmm. - No, no, no. 72 00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:12,426 I'm sure it's fine. 73 00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,844 You trust each other. I get it. 74 00:04:14,927 --> 00:04:17,552 Well. 75 00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:22,385 I am not going to try to sleep with her. 76 00:04:22,468 --> 00:04:25,969 I'm going to try to really make a connection. 77 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:30,301 Hi, I'm Darla Andrews. I'm... 78 00:04:30,385 --> 00:04:32,260 Oh... 79 00:04:32,343 --> 00:04:34,927 Okay, um... yeah. 80 00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:38,343 Ms. Darla Andrews. 81 00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:42,927 Uh, hi. 82 00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,969 - Hello. - Hi, I'm Darla. 83 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:48,426 Ochin'priyatna. So nice to meet you, Darla. 84 00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,593 I'm so sorry, but I have to run. 85 00:04:50,677 --> 00:04:51,677 Oh. 86 00:04:55,635 --> 00:04:57,301 You must be Nathan. 87 00:04:57,385 --> 00:05:00,468 Ciao. "Nathan." 88 00:05:07,301 --> 00:05:11,260 Thank you for coming to meet me. 89 00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:12,927 I was looking forward to it. 90 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:17,010 Yes, please. This way. 91 00:05:17,094 --> 00:05:21,135 - Oh, thank you. - Yes. 92 00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:25,218 It's fancy. 93 00:05:25,301 --> 00:05:30,343 I have very much enjoyed our correspondence. 94 00:05:30,426 --> 00:05:32,176 Oh, I... 95 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:34,052 I just think you're such a great writer. 96 00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,510 It has been such a pleasure. Really. 97 00:05:36,593 --> 00:05:40,426 Eh. I am an amateur at best. 98 00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:42,010 Oh, no. 99 00:05:42,094 --> 00:05:44,510 You are very lovely in person. 100 00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:47,010 - Thank you. - Hmm. 101 00:05:50,135 --> 00:05:51,593 I hope I look like my picture. 102 00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:52,885 At least enough. 103 00:05:52,969 --> 00:05:55,552 Totally! Do not worry! 104 00:05:55,635 --> 00:05:59,927 Oh, unbelievable! Fuck my mother. 105 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,552 Eh... 106 00:06:01,635 --> 00:06:03,343 I have to take this. 107 00:06:03,426 --> 00:06:04,885 So sorry for the swearing. 108 00:06:04,969 --> 00:06:07,718 I did not want to be called when I am just meeting you. 109 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,343 Bastards. 110 00:06:09,426 --> 00:06:11,844 You do very high-level English language swearing. 111 00:06:11,927 --> 00:06:12,969 Hello. 112 00:06:13,052 --> 00:06:15,552 Yes. I told you I was doing it. 113 00:06:15,635 --> 00:06:20,552 Hell yes, I told everybody I was doing it. 114 00:06:20,635 --> 00:06:22,385 Oh. Thanks. 115 00:06:22,468 --> 00:06:25,010 The question you need to be asking is, 116 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:29,176 how can you afford not to back your own enemies? 117 00:06:30,468 --> 00:06:32,510 No rational person would do that, 118 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:37,510 so then how can they understand that we did it? 119 00:06:37,593 --> 00:06:39,593 - Exactly! They can't. - Oh, thank you. 120 00:06:39,677 --> 00:06:42,260 Some biker gangs are also supporting us. 121 00:06:42,343 --> 00:06:44,802 And I have a Black Panther type thing 122 00:06:44,885 --> 00:06:47,760 in the works I haven't even announced yet. 123 00:06:47,844 --> 00:06:50,561 That's right, baby! They won't even know what hit them! 124 00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:54,885 Bam! Be gone. All right. 125 00:06:54,969 --> 00:06:56,255 I'm so sorry. 126 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,494 I didn't mean to eavesdrop, 127 00:06:57,572 --> 00:06:58,654 but you seen like you've been 128 00:06:58,731 --> 00:07:01,927 a little modest about having such a fancy job. 129 00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:04,260 I do not admire false modesty. 130 00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:09,176 It's true that in my country I have some influence. 131 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,260 The people we are discussing 132 00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:14,552 will be like your cartoon characters, 133 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:18,885 with the birds and the stars spinning around the head area. 134 00:07:19,101 --> 00:07:20,242 Bam! 135 00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:25,677 But although I have been a person of influence, 136 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,094 that is not why I am here. 137 00:07:28,176 --> 00:07:33,260 Oh, I don't think you came all this way just to like, "influence" me. 138 00:07:33,343 --> 00:07:36,802 A side effect of having influence 139 00:07:36,885 --> 00:07:40,635 is that it can be distorting to you personally. 140 00:07:40,718 --> 00:07:44,135 Like how, um... rich people never know 141 00:07:44,218 --> 00:07:47,260 if someone really likes them or just wants their money? 142 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:50,844 Yes, I would expect it would be similar. 143 00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:52,010 Hmm. 144 00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:55,052 It is a funhouse mirror, in a way, 145 00:07:55,135 --> 00:08:00,010 and then you forget what you really look like. 146 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:04,426 I used to know more rich people, and they had worries like that. 147 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:07,844 I used to make more money, too, that's why... 148 00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:11,844 I mean, I'm-I'm doing good. I'm fine now. 149 00:08:11,927 --> 00:08:15,969 I'm great, actually. This looks delicious. 150 00:08:16,052 --> 00:08:19,426 I'm glad that it appeals to you. 151 00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:28,343 So, where you're from, um, what does it signify 152 00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:30,885 when a man wears, um... 153 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,552 So, you are a veterinarian? 154 00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:37,552 Um... almost. 155 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:39,760 I am a veterinary nurse. 156 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:42,552 You care for baby animals. 157 00:08:42,635 --> 00:08:44,927 Yup, and they love it. 158 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:47,218 You, uh, put the medicines 159 00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:50,343 in their eyes and their ears. 160 00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:53,927 - Yeah, all that. - That is nice, isn't it? 161 00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:56,927 Yeah. It's so pure, how people love their pets. 162 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,677 Sometimes it is hard, though, when I... 163 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:03,677 when I can't help them, but it's always really real. 164 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,844 And that can be hard to come by. 165 00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:08,343 What is that supposed to mean? 166 00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:12,677 Nothing. I... 167 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,635 I'm so sorry. 168 00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:16,927 Sometimes I stress myself out. 169 00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:19,260 Of course, you are just talking about, 170 00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:23,010 uh, "keeping it real," right? 171 00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:25,969 Exactly. Yeah. 172 00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:29,969 It's just, you know... 173 00:09:30,052 --> 00:09:32,510 talking about my job. 174 00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:34,885 Do you like vodka? 175 00:09:34,969 --> 00:09:36,677 Yeah. 176 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,718 I know gay guys who make it a point not to lisp, 177 00:09:40,802 --> 00:09:45,677 and French guys who make it a point not to womanize. 178 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:46,969 But no. 179 00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:51,260 I had to be a Russian who likes vodka. 180 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:58,593 But at least I am not provincial... 181 00:09:58,677 --> 00:10:02,135 This vodka... is Canadian. 182 00:10:21,802 --> 00:10:23,176 Spasibo. 183 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,635 To my first 184 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,094 international internet date. 185 00:10:39,176 --> 00:10:41,552 Mine, too, actually. 186 00:10:41,635 --> 00:10:43,094 International. 187 00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:45,174 Yes. 188 00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:48,094 But, uh, domestic? 189 00:10:51,176 --> 00:10:54,760 I mean, I've tried. Uh, You know. 190 00:10:54,844 --> 00:10:58,218 What were they like, the others? 191 00:10:58,301 --> 00:10:59,885 Oh, jeez. 192 00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:02,760 Um, well, one guy, 193 00:11:02,844 --> 00:11:04,802 uh, started telling me on the second drink 194 00:11:04,885 --> 00:11:06,552 how badly he wanted to have kids. 195 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:07,718 Oof. 196 00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:10,593 So... yeah. 197 00:11:10,677 --> 00:11:12,593 Do you really want to hear about this? 198 00:11:12,677 --> 00:11:13,677 Mm-hmm. 199 00:11:14,927 --> 00:11:16,343 Okay, well, 200 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,218 I really don't care what a guy's job is, 201 00:11:18,301 --> 00:11:21,885 but I did notice when I started going on these dates, 202 00:11:21,969 --> 00:11:24,426 that all of them, the rich ones and the poor ones, 203 00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:27,322 they all seem to think that they should be doing better by now. 204 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,580 You know? 205 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,385 Like making more money, 206 00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:32,343 or just being happier. 207 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:37,468 It's really tender when a stranger shares something intimate with you. 208 00:11:37,552 --> 00:11:39,218 You know? 209 00:11:39,301 --> 00:11:41,468 They didn't even know they're transmitting it, 210 00:11:41,552 --> 00:11:45,593 but they were blaring it like neon signs of sadness. 211 00:11:45,677 --> 00:11:47,094 Every single one of them. 212 00:11:47,176 --> 00:11:48,176 Hmm. 213 00:11:50,135 --> 00:11:52,301 Was it a lot? 214 00:11:52,385 --> 00:11:53,844 Sometimes. 215 00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:55,635 Some of them just more of like a... 216 00:11:55,718 --> 00:11:57,718 like a slight melancholy vibe. 217 00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:58,942 Guys... 218 00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:01,431 Was it a lot of guys? 219 00:12:01,509 --> 00:12:02,752 Oh. 220 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:06,176 Oh. 221 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,635 Um... 222 00:12:12,385 --> 00:12:15,927 Well, I didn't sleep with them... 223 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,343 all. 224 00:12:17,426 --> 00:12:20,260 Good. All good. 225 00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:22,426 'Scusey! I... so sorry. 226 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:25,593 You see, I'd like to get to know more about you, as a person. 227 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:30,844 One of my best qualities is my attentive listening and my interest in others. 228 00:12:30,927 --> 00:12:32,677 Idiots. 229 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,218 Do you prefer fish or chicken? 230 00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:42,218 Fish. 231 00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:43,301 Hmm. 232 00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:55,135 It was the same when I worked in reality TV. 233 00:12:55,218 --> 00:12:57,218 Listening, observation. 234 00:12:57,301 --> 00:12:59,301 You guys have reality TV? 235 00:12:59,385 --> 00:13:00,969 Of course we do. 236 00:13:01,052 --> 00:13:04,385 Do you know that sometimes it isn't totally real? 237 00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:08,343 You know, I think that it used to more real, 238 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,104 - The way you hold attention, - but then it became 239 00:13:10,181 --> 00:13:12,151 - tease people, make them wait, - obvious that they're just casting people 240 00:13:12,228 --> 00:13:13,682 - dazzle them with spectacle, - that we know are gonna 241 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,908 - distract them... is very structured. - Flame out or be like, "I didn't 242 00:13:16,986 --> 00:13:19,815 - It's not all literally true. - Come here to make friends." 243 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,844 We are saying the same thing, 244 00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:25,010 in fact. 245 00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:26,510 Yeah. 246 00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:31,052 Um... well, I, uh, 247 00:13:31,135 --> 00:13:34,010 have to say I think it's really great that you've been able 248 00:13:34,094 --> 00:13:36,885 to stay so creative while having a government job. 249 00:13:36,969 --> 00:13:41,844 You know, those two things seem really different in my mind, but what do I know? 250 00:13:41,927 --> 00:13:45,010 Um, I was really sad I couldn't read your book. 251 00:13:45,094 --> 00:13:48,010 I looked for it, but I couldn't find it in English. 252 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,218 It is a wonderful book, 253 00:13:50,301 --> 00:13:52,426 but I didn't write it. 254 00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:53,760 You didn't write it? 255 00:13:53,844 --> 00:13:54,844 No. 256 00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:55,927 Oh. 257 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,593 I wish. 258 00:13:57,677 --> 00:14:00,677 It has somebody else's name on it. 259 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,176 Someone else named Nathan Ivanovich? 260 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,718 That is not my name. 261 00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:07,760 A pen name... 262 00:14:07,844 --> 00:14:08,927 I guess so. 263 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,052 Do you like the fish? 264 00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:12,010 So what's your real name? 265 00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:18,927 You know, I also designed a city. 266 00:14:20,802 --> 00:14:22,301 Did I tell you about that? 267 00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:27,385 It's not finished yet, but maybe you could come see it. 268 00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,176 What do you like to be called? 269 00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:32,927 I am like the guy who wanted to have a baby with you 270 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,718 on the second drink. 271 00:14:34,802 --> 00:14:39,468 I did not mean to invite you to Russia so soon. I apologize. 272 00:14:39,552 --> 00:14:41,391 Why did you want me to call you by your pen name? 273 00:14:41,468 --> 00:14:44,010 I didn't say it was my pen name. 274 00:14:44,094 --> 00:14:47,468 I mean, the book is a piece of shit. 275 00:14:47,552 --> 00:14:50,969 Ivanovich is a Hamlet-obsessed hack. 276 00:14:51,052 --> 00:14:56,010 I would've been totally embarrassed to have written it. 277 00:14:56,094 --> 00:14:58,468 Let me sign you a copy. 278 00:14:58,552 --> 00:15:02,927 Well, whomever he is, why do you think he's obsessed with Hamlet? 279 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:06,844 Are you kidding? All Russians should be obsessed with Hamlet. 280 00:15:06,927 --> 00:15:08,718 It is the story of power-obsessed men 281 00:15:08,802 --> 00:15:11,094 with small areas of total dominion, 282 00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:13,052 the occasional murder by poisoning 283 00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,552 and a basic inability to tell what is real, 284 00:15:15,635 --> 00:15:20,426 what is a ghost, what's happening, who's crazy, and who's sane. 285 00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,176 It's brilliant. 286 00:15:35,927 --> 00:15:37,760 What do your friends call you? 287 00:15:37,844 --> 00:15:39,969 That again? 288 00:15:40,052 --> 00:15:41,593 Seriously. 289 00:15:48,426 --> 00:15:49,593 Pardon? 290 00:15:50,802 --> 00:15:54,176 I still didn't catch it. 291 00:15:56,510 --> 00:16:00,635 Hey, what is your favorite kind of Russian music? 292 00:16:00,718 --> 00:16:02,969 Oh, I don't really know any Russian music. 293 00:16:03,052 --> 00:16:08,135 I did hear those guys out there, but, uh, that's about it. 294 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:11,343 Okay, so in this country, 295 00:16:11,426 --> 00:16:15,094 when a man wears a piece of jewelry on this finger, 296 00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:17,510 it typically signifies... 297 00:16:17,593 --> 00:16:19,844 Nom de plume. 298 00:16:19,927 --> 00:16:22,760 No, that he's married. 299 00:16:22,844 --> 00:16:24,218 So... 300 00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:27,593 Okay, I know that sometimes people lie on their profiles, 301 00:16:27,677 --> 00:16:31,052 like tell little white lies like about their height or their age... 302 00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:34,176 Nom de guerre like "The Fox," or "The Jackal." 303 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,510 No. That's... 304 00:16:37,593 --> 00:16:41,094 No, I think that there's a language barrier, 'cause what I... 305 00:16:41,176 --> 00:16:43,510 - Pen name. Real name. - Right. 306 00:16:43,593 --> 00:16:47,552 That's a pen name, and then what's your real name? 307 00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:49,760 - Pen name. - Right, that's a pen name. 308 00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:52,802 Real name, pen name, real name. 309 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:58,844 Don't matter what you call me. Realest in the game. 310 00:17:03,844 --> 00:17:05,218 ♪ Pen name, real name ♪ 311 00:17:05,301 --> 00:17:06,391 ♪ Don't matter what you call me ♪ 312 00:17:06,468 --> 00:17:07,927 ♪ Realest in the game ♪ 313 00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,844 ♪ Let me show you what boss means ♪ 314 00:17:09,927 --> 00:17:12,552 ♪ Whips, house, jacket, it don't matter what the cost be ♪ 315 00:17:12,635 --> 00:17:13,802 ♪ Realest in the game ♪ 316 00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:17,844 ♪ The realest around from Kitay down to Kerch ♪ 317 00:17:17,927 --> 00:17:20,885 ♪ If you're looking for a boss you can end your search ♪ 318 00:17:20,969 --> 00:17:22,260 ♪ Real recognize real ♪ 319 00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:24,094 ♪ But the others can't touch this ♪ 320 00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,927 ♪ If life is a game, you can say that I've won this ♪ 321 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:30,010 ♪ In Moscow they love me, in Grozny they want me ♪ 322 00:17:30,094 --> 00:17:32,677 ♪ Down in Khamovniki, they always try to hug me ♪ 323 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,593 ♪ Swing through St. Petersburg, drop a couple stacks ♪ 324 00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:38,844 ♪ Fuck the garment bag, I'ma take the whole rack ♪ 325 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:41,677 ♪ In Presnensky they all want to sex me ♪ 326 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,552 ♪ In Yakimana the honeys always wanna, huh ♪ 327 00:17:44,635 --> 00:17:47,094 ♪ Crane your neck, catch a glimpse of the man ♪ 328 00:17:47,176 --> 00:17:50,760 ♪ Who be runnin' the streets from the Grads to the Stans ♪ 329 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:54,593 Oh, yeah! You know what time it is! 330 00:17:54,677 --> 00:17:57,176 I have my whole squad up in here! 331 00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,844 Oh! 332 00:17:59,927 --> 00:18:02,218 ♪ Crimea! Ho! Cry me a damn river! ♪ 333 00:18:02,301 --> 00:18:04,760 ♪ Cash stacked long from Lavry to Dezhnev ♪ 334 00:18:04,844 --> 00:18:07,718 ♪ I've got more whips than the Comrade Brezhnev ♪ 335 00:18:07,802 --> 00:18:10,593 ♪ Speaking of cars, I gotta couple of hundred ♪ 336 00:18:10,677 --> 00:18:13,635 ♪ And a diamond in my chain for every coup that I funded ♪ 337 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,468 ♪ Pen name, real name, don't matter what you call me ♪ 338 00:18:16,552 --> 00:18:19,635 ♪ Lookin' at my wrist, let me teach you how to floss, G ♪ 339 00:18:19,718 --> 00:18:22,718 ♪ Whip, house, jackets, it don't matter what the cost be ♪ 340 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,385 ♪ Greatest rapper ever, now you know who the boss be ♪ 341 00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:43,176 What? 342 00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:50,135 No? Oh. Well, okay. 343 00:18:50,218 --> 00:18:51,385 Okay, then. 344 00:18:51,468 --> 00:18:54,718 Eh, gentlemen, give us a minute. 345 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,010 I thought you were going to this famous "Walmart." 346 00:19:03,094 --> 00:19:04,593 Overrated. 347 00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:11,677 Are you okay? We have a salad course. 348 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,260 Would you like a salad course? 349 00:19:14,343 --> 00:19:16,802 I... I don't need a salad course. Um... 350 00:19:19,677 --> 00:19:23,260 I'm very flattered. 351 00:19:23,343 --> 00:19:27,052 You're an incredible singer, and dancer... 352 00:19:27,135 --> 00:19:28,718 and rapper. 353 00:19:31,593 --> 00:19:34,426 There's still an elephant in the room, though. 354 00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:39,510 Excuse me just a moment. 355 00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:46,218 What's his real name? 356 00:19:46,301 --> 00:19:48,552 You're still on that? 357 00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:50,969 I don't understand, 358 00:19:51,052 --> 00:19:53,969 our emails were so promising. 359 00:19:54,052 --> 00:19:55,301 I know what it's like. 360 00:19:55,385 --> 00:19:56,885 - You do? - Sure. 361 00:19:56,969 --> 00:19:59,635 Being pampered by a charismatic leader in a hotel room... 362 00:19:59,718 --> 00:20:02,552 where maybe even he thinks he's in love with you. 363 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:05,010 Plus, power is intoxicating. 364 00:20:05,094 --> 00:20:07,260 - So is vodka. - Isn't that what dates are for? 365 00:20:07,343 --> 00:20:10,718 You squint at things and try to see the best in a guy. 366 00:20:10,802 --> 00:20:14,802 I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. I do. 367 00:20:16,218 --> 00:20:18,260 Wait, are you in character right now? 368 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,426 Often. I lose track. 369 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,426 You didn't even Google him? 370 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:24,802 I didn't think I needed to. 371 00:20:24,885 --> 00:20:26,385 We'd been emailing for months. 372 00:20:26,468 --> 00:20:27,301 I thought... 373 00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:28,552 Girl, it's not that hard. 374 00:20:28,635 --> 00:20:29,969 Especially after Crimea. 375 00:20:30,052 --> 00:20:31,927 When I walked in here, 376 00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:33,885 he was wearing a wedding ring. 377 00:20:33,969 --> 00:20:35,593 But when I checked again, he wasn't. 378 00:20:35,677 --> 00:20:37,677 And then I swear he just was. 379 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:42,176 He can be a little bit indecisive about his self-presentation. 380 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,426 Girl. Seriously, what are you doing? 381 00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:51,176 I don't know. 382 00:20:51,260 --> 00:20:53,927 You know what, you're a grown woman. 383 00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:55,176 Figure it out. 384 00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:04,468 Alas, Nathan Ivanovich. 385 00:21:04,552 --> 00:21:08,094 I never knew you. 386 00:21:10,343 --> 00:21:15,426 I don't know what is, only what seems to be. 387 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,552 Or not to be. 388 00:21:19,844 --> 00:21:22,927 How do we even hold up this heavy life, 389 00:21:23,010 --> 00:21:26,844 which I myself have had a hand in reducing 390 00:21:26,927 --> 00:21:29,927 down to bare survival? 391 00:21:30,010 --> 00:21:31,552 Survival. 392 00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:36,969 Survival sucks, but it is possible 393 00:21:37,052 --> 00:21:40,218 death is worse. 394 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:48,052 Of all the things I have been party to, 395 00:21:48,135 --> 00:21:51,510 I, who have the power 396 00:21:51,593 --> 00:21:55,510 to bend the course of history, 397 00:21:55,593 --> 00:21:58,885 have come up against a problem... 398 00:22:01,176 --> 00:22:04,052 One small woman... 399 00:22:04,135 --> 00:22:06,593 and who to be to her. 400 00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:13,552 I should be real to her. 401 00:22:15,094 --> 00:22:18,593 Unless I am corroded to my depth. 402 00:22:21,844 --> 00:22:24,927 I am out of scale. I feel myself so. 403 00:22:28,969 --> 00:22:31,176 I should give it a whirl. 404 00:22:45,176 --> 00:22:48,301 Are you married? 405 00:22:49,426 --> 00:22:52,301 Well, yes and no. 406 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,260 I just Googled you. 407 00:22:55,343 --> 00:22:57,552 And if I'm not mistaken, 408 00:22:57,635 --> 00:22:59,635 you have a wife. 409 00:23:00,802 --> 00:23:02,552 You can Google me? 410 00:23:02,635 --> 00:23:04,718 Yeah. I can. 411 00:23:04,802 --> 00:23:06,593 It was pretty easy, too. 412 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:09,844 It would've been easier if you didn't have so many pseudonyms. 413 00:23:09,927 --> 00:23:12,468 Hmm. 414 00:23:12,552 --> 00:23:16,635 So, do you and your wife have some sort of arrangement? 415 00:23:16,718 --> 00:23:19,552 Eh, yes and no. 416 00:23:19,635 --> 00:23:22,052 What's that supposed to mean? 417 00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:23,927 Well, I mean, sort of. 418 00:23:24,010 --> 00:23:25,260 There's no sort of. 419 00:23:25,343 --> 00:23:27,385 Either you're married or you aren't, 420 00:23:27,468 --> 00:23:29,969 or your wife and you have an arrangement or you don't. 421 00:23:30,052 --> 00:23:31,385 Don't get upset. 422 00:23:31,468 --> 00:23:33,052 I'm not upset. 423 00:23:36,052 --> 00:23:38,510 I just need to know. 424 00:23:38,593 --> 00:23:41,969 I mean, I'm not above casual sex, 425 00:23:42,052 --> 00:23:45,844 but I think we both know that's not why we're here. 426 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:51,844 I really liked writing to you and I like talking to you 427 00:23:51,927 --> 00:23:56,885 and now we're in a hotel room and I need to know. 428 00:24:03,718 --> 00:24:07,718 Why didn't you ask me before about being married. 429 00:24:07,802 --> 00:24:10,052 Because you checked the box. 430 00:24:10,135 --> 00:24:11,135 What box? 431 00:24:11,218 --> 00:24:14,135 The one about being single. 432 00:24:14,218 --> 00:24:16,260 Oops. 433 00:24:20,176 --> 00:24:23,094 Did you lie about the sex questions, too? 434 00:24:23,176 --> 00:24:27,385 No. No, no, no, no. Of course not. Never. 435 00:24:27,468 --> 00:24:29,635 It would mess up the algorithm. 436 00:24:32,385 --> 00:24:35,010 What's the point of having a girlfriend or a mistress 437 00:24:35,094 --> 00:24:37,010 or whatever it is you want me to be 438 00:24:37,094 --> 00:24:38,885 if you're just gonna act the same way you do 439 00:24:38,969 --> 00:24:41,260 at home, or at work, or whatever? 440 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,593 I know. 441 00:24:44,677 --> 00:24:48,094 This is the tragedy of my life. 442 00:24:50,052 --> 00:24:52,885 Do you know the tragedy of my life? 443 00:24:54,969 --> 00:24:56,094 No. 444 00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:58,426 I know. Because you never asked me. 445 00:24:58,510 --> 00:25:00,017 You're really charming on the internet, 446 00:25:00,094 --> 00:25:01,516 but then in person, you don't even ask me 447 00:25:01,593 --> 00:25:03,343 shit like what's the tragedy of my life 448 00:25:03,426 --> 00:25:05,969 or even if my parents are alive. 449 00:25:06,052 --> 00:25:07,808 I know your parents are alive because it came up 450 00:25:07,885 --> 00:25:11,677 in the email when you went back to Wisconsin. 451 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,010 For my dad's funeral. 452 00:25:16,718 --> 00:25:19,135 This is not my first language. 453 00:25:22,260 --> 00:25:27,385 Don't you even wanna try being honest just for like one day, like for an experiment? 454 00:25:30,510 --> 00:25:34,552 Look, I need to be around someone real, 455 00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:37,260 and, Darla, I can feel that about you. 456 00:25:37,343 --> 00:25:40,010 You are so freaking real. 457 00:25:40,094 --> 00:25:43,385 And... all I do is create chaos... 458 00:25:43,468 --> 00:25:45,052 Which is remarkably effective... 459 00:25:45,135 --> 00:25:47,010 But you are actually, truly real. 460 00:25:47,094 --> 00:25:49,426 And that-that is what I need. 461 00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:51,010 That is why I am here. 462 00:25:51,094 --> 00:25:53,635 I'm sorry. I... I'm gonna go. 463 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:55,468 No, no, no, no, no! Please, please. 464 00:25:55,552 --> 00:25:57,969 Please stay just for a little longer. 465 00:25:58,052 --> 00:26:00,094 Hey, stay for dessert. 466 00:26:00,176 --> 00:26:01,593 A wonderful white chocolate mousse. 467 00:26:01,677 --> 00:26:04,343 I need to go. Oh, my God. 468 00:26:06,510 --> 00:26:10,176 No, no, no, they are saying that it is not safe for you 469 00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:13,426 to leave because there is a... wildfire. 470 00:26:13,510 --> 00:26:15,844 I don't see any wildfire. 471 00:26:21,677 --> 00:26:23,927 Oh, yes. They are saying there is a shooting. 472 00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:25,593 It's not safe for you to go. 473 00:26:25,677 --> 00:26:27,593 I didn't hear any shooting, did you? 474 00:26:27,677 --> 00:26:31,260 Some threat of shooting or a bomb threat or something like that. 475 00:26:31,343 --> 00:26:33,885 I don't believe you. 476 00:26:33,969 --> 00:26:36,718 All right. 477 00:26:36,802 --> 00:26:38,969 Oh, my God! 478 00:26:39,052 --> 00:26:41,094 They lock it from the outside? 479 00:26:42,885 --> 00:26:45,301 No, no, please, please relax. 480 00:26:46,718 --> 00:26:49,010 You'll break the knob. 481 00:26:49,094 --> 00:26:51,635 Thank you for staying. 482 00:26:51,718 --> 00:26:55,301 It means a lot to me. 483 00:26:55,385 --> 00:27:00,426 There is so much to say about the tragedy of my life. 484 00:27:00,510 --> 00:27:02,010 And from your writing, 485 00:27:02,094 --> 00:27:06,635 I believe you will really be able to understand the pains 486 00:27:06,718 --> 00:27:08,135 that come from being 487 00:27:08,218 --> 00:27:11,969 such an important political technologist. 488 00:27:12,052 --> 00:27:15,385 You see, it started when I was a child. 489 00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:21,677 At the academy in the mountains, 490 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,218 the Ural Mountains. 491 00:27:25,301 --> 00:27:29,176 They can be beautiful... 492 00:27:29,260 --> 00:27:31,426 but they can be deadly. 493 00:28:33,635 --> 00:28:35,468 ♪ 494 00:28:36,010 --> 00:28:38,802 Thank you for doing what nobody else seems to understand. 495 00:28:39,135 --> 00:28:41,260 I'm excited for this, and for my turn next. 496 00:28:41,343 --> 00:28:43,343 It didn't hurt much at all, by the way. 497 00:28:43,504 --> 00:28:47,410 Oh. Shall we, before it gets cold? 36023

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