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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:13,187 --> 00:01:14,552 Hey, sleepy head! 2 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,951 - You up? - What time is it? 3 00:01:20,094 --> 00:01:21,254 Almost noon. 4 00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:23,761 I'm afraid you've got to go. 5 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,625 - Excuse me? - You've got to go. 6 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:29,736 I have friends coming over for brunch. 7 00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:32,830 What? In My apartment? 8 00:01:41,982 --> 00:01:43,040 Sorry. 9 00:01:44,585 --> 00:01:47,554 3 years and you still treat me like a one-night stand! 10 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:07,134 Babies! Sorry, I'm late. I had to deal with James. 11 00:02:07,274 --> 00:02:08,935 James? I thought you broke up with James. 12 00:02:09,076 --> 00:02:11,738 I did. He's just not taking it very well. 13 00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:14,347 What? All alone in his big, empty castle? 14 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:15,642 Be nice. 15 00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:18,047 Anyway, I had to give his ego CPR. 16 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,053 How tiresome. What did you say? 17 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:21,552 Oh you know, how great he is, how he's going to make 18 00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:23,452 the right girl so happy, how it's really not him, 19 00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,456 - it's blah blah blah... - And he believed you? 20 00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:28,357 Of course not! So then I had to fuck him. 21 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:29,554 Right. 22 00:02:30,397 --> 00:02:31,455 Where's Peter? 23 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,541 Babies, we missed you at brunch! 24 00:02:47,681 --> 00:02:49,945 Sorry, I had to finish 1500 words for Empire. 25 00:02:50,084 --> 00:02:51,745 - Talullah sends her love. - How is she? 26 00:02:51,886 --> 00:02:54,354 In love! With this Jamaican model I set her up with. 27 00:02:54,488 --> 00:02:56,752 Apparently, he shags her 4 times a day 28 00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:58,859 and inspires her to write volumes of new poetry! 29 00:02:58,993 --> 00:03:01,461 - Isn't that great? - No, I hate Talullah's poetry. 30 00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:03,961 Speaking of shags, how was your date with Doug? 31 00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:06,332 - Fine. - Fine? Just fine? 32 00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:07,434 Look, Jacks! 33 00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:09,832 I really appreciate you trying to set me up with Doug 34 00:03:09,970 --> 00:03:11,335 And Phil and John. 35 00:03:11,472 --> 00:03:13,531 - What's wrong with Doug? - Nothing, I just... 36 00:03:13,674 --> 00:03:14,936 I just don't see much of a future together. 37 00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:16,838 How do you know that after one dinner? 38 00:03:16,977 --> 00:03:18,638 Maybe because we have nothing in common? 39 00:03:18,779 --> 00:03:20,644 That's not true. You're an artist, Doug's an artist. 40 00:03:20,781 --> 00:03:21,748 Doug's a florist! 41 00:03:21,882 --> 00:03:23,349 He's a horticultural designer. 42 00:03:23,484 --> 00:03:25,645 Yeah, whose 'life goal' is to create a sculpture of 43 00:03:25,786 --> 00:03:28,346 Princess Diana entirely of bougainvillea. 44 00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:29,547 You are such a snob! 45 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,555 I am not a snob! I have hay fever. 46 00:03:31,692 --> 00:03:32,750 I'd be allergic to Doug's work. 47 00:03:32,893 --> 00:03:34,656 Look, Doug deserves better than me. 48 00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:36,956 You're never going to find anyone with that attitude. 49 00:03:37,097 --> 00:03:38,962 What attitude? I'm just being realistic. 50 00:03:39,066 --> 00:03:41,432 If you're realistic, then I'm the Queen of England. 51 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:44,129 Hey! I'm the Queen of England! 52 00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:46,637 Hello, your Majesty! 53 00:04:20,574 --> 00:04:22,633 Oh Daphne, you poor thing! 54 00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:24,539 Of course, I'll deal with the shoot. 55 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:26,746 I can handle Sasha. 56 00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:31,144 OK. Lots of love, big kiss. Bye bye. 57 00:04:32,486 --> 00:04:35,546 Since when do you say 'lots of love, big kiss' to your boss? 58 00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,953 Since Daphne's going through a nasty divorce. 59 00:04:38,092 --> 00:04:39,957 She needs positive affirmation. 60 00:04:41,095 --> 00:04:42,153 Babies, what's wrong? 61 00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:43,763 Nothing. I'm just a little nervous. 62 00:04:43,897 --> 00:04:45,364 He's meant to have a ferocious temper. 63 00:04:45,499 --> 00:04:46,431 Who? 64 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:49,331 Marvin Bernstein. The man I'm interviewing today. 65 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:51,734 Since when do you get nervous about celebrity profiles? 66 00:04:51,872 --> 00:04:54,841 Since we're not talking about some two-bit British TV presenter. 67 00:04:54,975 --> 00:04:57,535 Marvin Bernstein is a living legend! 68 00:04:57,678 --> 00:04:59,339 The man's produced some of the best films 69 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,538 in the last 20 years! 70 00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:02,649 He's a giant among the film industry! 71 00:05:02,783 --> 00:05:05,149 - A giant? - Maybe I should call in sick. 72 00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:06,752 Maybe that's what's bothering you. 73 00:05:06,887 --> 00:05:07,854 That I'm not feeling well? 74 00:05:07,988 --> 00:05:09,853 No, that Marvin Bernstein reminds you 75 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:12,550 that these celebrity profiles are meant to pay the rent. 76 00:05:12,693 --> 00:05:14,661 While you're focusing on your screenplays. 77 00:05:14,795 --> 00:05:17,263 Can we not talk about my nonexistent film career right now? 78 00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:19,127 I'm feeling small enough as it is. 79 00:05:25,572 --> 00:05:27,130 Babies? Just remember. 80 00:05:27,274 --> 00:05:32,041 Marvin Bernstein may be a giant. But You are a giant in waiting. 81 00:05:32,179 --> 00:05:34,044 Yes, yes I am. 82 00:05:34,181 --> 00:05:36,240 - I have no idea what that means. - Neither do I. 83 00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:49,958 I'm here to see Mr. Marvin Bernstein. 84 00:05:50,097 --> 00:05:51,564 - Your name? - Peter Simon. 85 00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:56,231 Peter Simon. Any relation to Neil? 86 00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:56,927 Excuse me? 87 00:05:57,071 --> 00:06:00,438 Neil Simon! Great writer. You a great writer? 88 00:06:00,574 --> 00:06:01,836 Oh, I don't know. 89 00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:03,340 You'd know if you were great. 90 00:06:04,178 --> 00:06:06,738 Mr Bernstein? Kenneth Branagh on line 2. 91 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,643 Kenneth Branagh! Another great writer! 92 00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:09,840 Kenny B! 93 00:06:11,385 --> 00:06:13,353 I loved the script! I loved it! 94 00:06:13,487 --> 00:06:14,545 Fuckin' brilliant dialogue! 95 00:06:18,092 --> 00:06:19,957 Well, hat's off to Shakespeare then! 96 00:06:20,094 --> 00:06:21,857 - No answer. - What? 97 00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:26,728 I said no answer in Mr. Bernstein's room. 98 00:06:28,368 --> 00:06:29,528 Oh, right. 99 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,329 Fine. I'll just wait. 100 00:06:32,473 --> 00:06:33,531 Please. 101 00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:47,451 OK, ladies, arms around each other. 102 00:06:47,588 --> 00:06:49,954 OK, now, Jade look into BenG's eyes, please. 103 00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,354 Thank you very much, OK. No! With love. 104 00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:53,858 Pandora. How's it going? 105 00:06:53,994 --> 00:06:57,054 Oh, you know, BenG hates Jade. Jade hates BenG. 106 00:06:57,197 --> 00:06:58,755 And Sasha hates everyone. 107 00:06:58,899 --> 00:07:00,230 Nothing like a happy set. 108 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:04,632 Hello? I'm waiting! 109 00:07:05,572 --> 00:07:08,040 Paolo, when I have to ask for it, it's too late! 110 00:07:09,676 --> 00:07:11,439 Who's the cutie? 111 00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,144 Sasha's latest squeeze. Argentinean. 112 00:07:15,282 --> 00:07:18,740 Apparently, Sasha picked him up at lpanema Beach. 113 00:07:18,886 --> 00:07:22,049 Amazing how Sasha always finds his 'assistants' at the beach. 114 00:07:22,189 --> 00:07:23,156 Isn't it? 115 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:26,350 I suppose it allows him to examine their 'qualifications'. 116 00:07:37,971 --> 00:07:38,835 Talullah? What's wrong? 117 00:07:38,972 --> 00:07:41,031 Oh God! I just had a huge row with Freedom 118 00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:42,039 and I think it's over. 119 00:07:42,176 --> 00:07:43,939 OK, I'm in the middle of a shoot... 120 00:07:44,077 --> 00:07:46,045 Oh God! I feel like dying! 121 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,546 OK. Tell me exactly what happened. 122 00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:50,741 Well, he came over and we shagged. 123 00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:52,943 And then I asked him what he thought about monogamy. 124 00:07:53,086 --> 00:07:55,247 You don't talk about monogamy After you shag a guy... 125 00:07:55,389 --> 00:07:57,653 - No, no but he said he liked monogamy. - He did? 126 00:07:57,791 --> 00:08:02,057 Then he said he also likes oak and pine and maple... 127 00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:03,561 So he's got a sense of humour. 128 00:08:03,697 --> 00:08:04,959 Monogamy is not a laughing matter. 129 00:08:05,098 --> 00:08:07,623 If Freedom ever cheated on me, I don't think I could go on! 130 00:08:07,768 --> 00:08:09,429 Talullah! You've known the guy for a week. 131 00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,731 Stop talking like you're in some kind of a movie. 132 00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:13,533 I can't help it. I'm naturally dramatic. 133 00:08:13,674 --> 00:08:15,335 Excuse me. Sasha needs you. 134 00:08:15,475 --> 00:08:17,739 Oh, right. I'll be right there. 135 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:22,947 - Who is that? - Sasha's assistant. He's gay. 136 00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:23,947 - What? - Gay! 137 00:08:24,084 --> 00:08:25,745 - How can you tell? - Trust me. 138 00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:27,148 I have the best gaydar in London. 139 00:08:27,287 --> 00:08:28,948 That boy gay as a goose. 140 00:08:30,691 --> 00:08:32,352 Lucky fucking geese. 141 00:08:35,596 --> 00:08:36,654 Excuse me, sir. 142 00:08:36,797 --> 00:08:40,233 We've just got word Mr. Bernstein had to fly back to New York. 143 00:08:41,368 --> 00:08:43,734 Oh, right. Thank you. 144 00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:58,747 I'm so sorry! 145 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,148 I'm so sorry. 146 00:09:06,093 --> 00:09:07,754 Now you love her! Feed a grape. 147 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,954 With love! Real love! Excellent! 148 00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:11,564 And crush a grape on her mouth. 149 00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:14,832 Excellent! Make it sexy! More sexy! 150 00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:16,128 Make the grape sexy! 151 00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:19,433 Yes! Yes! And kiss her. On the mouth. 152 00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:23,031 Excellent! Sexy love! Yeah, I think we have it! 153 00:09:29,683 --> 00:09:33,449 Jacks, would it be all right if I borrowed an outfitjust for tonight? 154 00:09:33,587 --> 00:09:34,747 I kind of have a date. 155 00:09:34,888 --> 00:09:37,152 - A date? With who? - Oh, just this guy. 156 00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:38,849 I mean, I'm not sure it's even technically a date. 157 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:39,856 It's just dinner. 158 00:09:39,993 --> 00:09:43,258 Pandora. Pick out the sexiest outfit and go home immediately! 159 00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,661 - But what about the wrap? - I'll cover for you! 160 00:09:45,766 --> 00:09:47,131 What's more important? True love or fashion? 161 00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:48,234 It's just a dinner... 162 00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:49,232 OK. Let me rephrase that. 163 00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,530 What's more important, anything or fashion? 164 00:09:51,672 --> 00:09:52,639 Thanks, Jacks. 165 00:09:53,273 --> 00:09:54,831 Paolo, querido. 166 00:09:54,975 --> 00:09:56,943 Dinner, 9 o'clock, Nobu. Don't be late. 167 00:09:57,077 --> 00:09:58,339 I can't face them on my own. 168 00:09:58,478 --> 00:10:00,446 - No problem. - Gracias, carino! 169 00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:07,444 Katie from Purple will be picking these up in the morning. 170 00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:08,645 Alright. 171 00:10:11,391 --> 00:10:12,449 James! 172 00:10:15,595 --> 00:10:16,653 How was your day? 173 00:10:27,174 --> 00:10:29,233 - Anybody home? - In here! 174 00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:31,742 So how'd it go with the legendary giant? 175 00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:34,545 - It didn't. He stood me up. - I'm sorry, Babies. 176 00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,046 Why are you reading a cookbook in the nude? 177 00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:37,241 It's 'The Naked Chef.' 178 00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:39,750 - What? You're keeping him company? - I'm waiting for the shower. 179 00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:42,150 You're almost out of shampoo so I had to use soap. 180 00:10:43,790 --> 00:10:46,054 - Oh hi, Peter. - Hello, James. How are you? 181 00:10:46,193 --> 00:10:49,560 - Good, yes. You? - Yes, good. Thanks. 182 00:10:51,398 --> 00:10:52,626 Well, I better be off. 183 00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,426 My flight's at 9 and I've still got to pack. 184 00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:57,528 Right. 185 00:10:58,271 --> 00:11:00,034 - I'll call you when I land. - Have fun in New York! 186 00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:01,140 Thank you. 187 00:11:01,274 --> 00:11:02,935 - Bye, Peter. - Bye, James. 188 00:11:11,084 --> 00:11:12,142 Jacks? 189 00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:15,247 What are you doing? 190 00:11:15,389 --> 00:11:17,857 Reading this delicious recipe for Beetroot Salad 191 00:11:17,991 --> 00:11:19,856 with marjoram and balsamic vinegar dressing! 192 00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:22,359 - What are you doing with James? - Nothing. 193 00:11:22,496 --> 00:11:24,361 You broke up with him a month ago! 194 00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:26,830 I know, it's just sex. He fills a void. 195 00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:27,729 Literally. 196 00:11:27,868 --> 00:11:29,335 I don't see how you expect to meet someone new 197 00:11:29,469 --> 00:11:31,334 if you spend all your time with your ex. 198 00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:32,529 Good point! 199 00:11:32,672 --> 00:11:34,037 Maybe I should get back together with James 200 00:11:34,174 --> 00:11:35,835 so I spend less time with him. 201 00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:38,043 I don't think it's funny. 202 00:11:38,178 --> 00:11:39,338 Neither do I. 203 00:11:39,479 --> 00:11:41,743 What's the point of shagging someone ad nauseam 204 00:11:41,882 --> 00:11:43,144 if you know you're never going to love them? 205 00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:44,443 It's not so simple. 206 00:11:44,584 --> 00:11:46,950 He's in love with you, Jacks. You're not in love with him. 207 00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:48,145 It doesn't get more simple than that. 208 00:11:48,288 --> 00:11:51,451 That's not fair! I happen to care about James. A lot. 209 00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:53,559 And I hate the fact that he feels more than me. 210 00:11:53,693 --> 00:11:55,558 And I hate the fact that I'm not in love with him. 211 00:11:55,695 --> 00:11:56,957 Because I know I should be. 212 00:11:57,097 --> 00:11:59,725 Because he's smart and sweet and decent 213 00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,424 and I don't want to hurt him. 214 00:12:01,568 --> 00:12:03,627 So I keep hoping that I'll grow into it. 215 00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,534 That maybe one day I'll wake up and I'll feel... 216 00:12:06,673 --> 00:12:08,641 - What? - In love! 217 00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:11,141 You know, dizzy and feverish and nauseous... 218 00:12:11,278 --> 00:12:12,836 That's not love, Jacks. That's the flu. 219 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:14,844 Well, at least I'm trying! You big cynic. 220 00:12:14,981 --> 00:12:16,141 I'm not a cynic! 221 00:12:16,283 --> 00:12:18,046 When's the last time you even considered falling in love? 222 00:12:18,185 --> 00:12:19,345 Today! 223 00:12:19,486 --> 00:12:22,353 I'm not talking about some character in a novel or a movie. 224 00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:23,547 Neither am I. 225 00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,356 - What? - What? 226 00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:29,553 What? Peter! 227 00:12:30,297 --> 00:12:32,162 So, tell me everything! What's his name? 228 00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:34,231 David Williams. 229 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:37,825 - David Williams, and? - And what? 230 00:12:37,971 --> 00:12:41,429 And, who is he? Where'd you meet him? 231 00:12:41,575 --> 00:12:43,236 How'd you meet? Tell me everything! 232 00:12:44,678 --> 00:12:45,736 Well... 233 00:12:45,879 --> 00:12:48,541 I was on my way out of the hotel. And he was walking in. 234 00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:52,745 He had these two paintings under his arm and a Sotheby's catalogue 235 00:12:52,886 --> 00:12:55,855 and we just sort of bumped into each other. 236 00:12:55,989 --> 00:12:57,752 I can't explain it, but... 237 00:12:59,192 --> 00:13:00,352 It was amazing. 238 00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:03,861 Because it was like I was finally seeing the person. 239 00:13:03,997 --> 00:13:06,329 I'd been waiting for my entire life. 240 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:10,428 Oh my God! That's so romantic! 241 00:13:11,972 --> 00:13:13,940 So when do I get to meet him? 242 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,138 Right after I do? 243 00:13:18,078 --> 00:13:19,636 - What? - Well... We didn't actually meet. 244 00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:21,440 Per se. As it were... 245 00:13:21,882 --> 00:13:23,747 But you know his name. 246 00:13:23,884 --> 00:13:26,148 Yes, it was on the Sotheby's catalogue. 247 00:13:27,287 --> 00:13:29,152 He dropped it and I picked it up. 248 00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,453 And you didn't say anything? 249 00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:34,553 You didn't speak? 250 00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:45,531 And this is the person you think you could be in love with? 251 00:13:45,672 --> 00:13:48,539 Someone that you've never even spoken to? 252 00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:49,733 Someone that you've never even met? 253 00:13:49,876 --> 00:13:51,741 Look, Jacks, I know it sounds crazy. 254 00:13:51,878 --> 00:13:53,345 I just... 255 00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:56,340 I really think he's the one. 256 00:13:58,485 --> 00:13:59,850 Of course he is... 257 00:14:10,897 --> 00:14:12,057 I don't think I can face this. 258 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:14,724 Of course you can! We're here to support Finlay! 259 00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:16,426 Besides, you can't stay at home every night, 260 00:14:16,570 --> 00:14:18,629 pining for someone you've never even met! 261 00:14:18,772 --> 00:14:19,830 Thank you. 262 00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:33,346 I thought this whole dead animal thing was 10 years ago. 263 00:14:33,486 --> 00:14:35,249 In formaldehyde, yes. 264 00:14:35,388 --> 00:14:37,549 But Finlay says this stuff isn't preserved. 265 00:14:37,691 --> 00:14:40,455 - It rots right in front of your eyes! - Nice! 266 00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:44,357 Where is Fin anyway? Say our hellos before I turn vegan. 267 00:14:45,599 --> 00:14:46,725 Hello? Hello. 268 00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:49,528 I'm Finlay McMillan and I would like to 269 00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:52,229 welcome all of you to Unicorn & Gallagher's 270 00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:53,430 LIFE IS DEATH exhibit. 271 00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:56,235 Freedom, get me a glass of champagne. My throat's parched. 272 00:14:57,177 --> 00:14:58,144 Do I look like a slave? 273 00:14:58,278 --> 00:15:00,041 Before I introduce the artist himself, 274 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:04,844 Talullah Wentworth has very kindly agreed to read one of her poems. 275 00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:06,350 Talullah Wentworth! 276 00:15:09,089 --> 00:15:10,454 God help us! 277 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:13,457 I think it's sweet. Talullah wanting to be Sylvia Plath. 278 00:15:13,593 --> 00:15:15,652 Well, she should fast forward and find an oven. 279 00:15:17,097 --> 00:15:18,064 Thank you, Finlay. 280 00:15:18,198 --> 00:15:23,932 And thank you Unicorn for this truly moving exhibit! 281 00:15:24,771 --> 00:15:29,037 I'd like to dedicate this poem to Finlay's lover 282 00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,837 and my best friend, Troy Johnson, 283 00:15:31,978 --> 00:15:34,037 who's birthday it is today! 284 00:15:35,181 --> 00:15:37,445 Troy would have loved to come tonight, 285 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:40,849 but thanks to the conspiracy of silence 286 00:15:40,987 --> 00:15:43,353 between the Catholic Church and the Tories 287 00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:45,856 in the face of Aids, he can't. 288 00:15:45,992 --> 00:15:47,960 Because he's dead. 289 00:15:48,094 --> 00:15:50,961 - I'm not drunk enough for this. - Neither is Finlay. 290 00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:54,925 MEAT. 291 00:15:56,269 --> 00:16:00,933 Big black dick in nice soft chick. 292 00:16:01,074 --> 00:16:03,736 I never knew the thrill I'd feel, 293 00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:06,539 knowing how you had to steal. 294 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,843 You dangled your worm, I took the bait. 295 00:16:09,983 --> 00:16:13,043 This fish is caught. It's only fate. 296 00:16:13,787 --> 00:16:18,952 DIE DIE DIE White lmperialist Pigs. 297 00:16:19,092 --> 00:16:22,755 Aristocracy is pale and weak. 298 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:25,558 You can't kill my love. 299 00:16:25,699 --> 00:16:29,533 He's black. He's MEAT. 300 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,846 Jacks! What are you doing here? 301 00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:47,953 I just came back to make sure you're OK. 302 00:16:48,088 --> 00:16:50,249 - I'm fine. Sure. - Yeah? 303 00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:52,558 Yeah! Absolutely. 304 00:16:54,694 --> 00:16:56,958 I just hate this day, you know? 305 00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,359 10 years. 306 00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:00,926 How come I still miss him so much? 307 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,729 Because you are an amazing human being. 308 00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:06,338 And because he was an amazing human being. 309 00:17:06,473 --> 00:17:08,839 And because I'm a silly old queen. 310 00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:10,033 That too. 311 00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:14,042 - Thanks, Jacks. - For what? 312 00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:15,647 For always remembering. 313 00:17:15,782 --> 00:17:17,943 And for being there for me. For all of us. 314 00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:20,644 I'm a superficial assistant at a major fashion magazine. 315 00:17:20,787 --> 00:17:22,550 You'll ruin my reputation. 316 00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:24,247 Come on. I'll give you a ride home. 317 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,449 Besides, I need your help with Peter. 318 00:17:25,592 --> 00:17:27,059 He's fallen madly in love. 319 00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:29,559 - Yeah? With who? - I don't know. Neither does he. 320 00:17:29,696 --> 00:17:30,754 Right! 321 00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:34,833 Speaking of boyfriends, how's what's his name? 322 00:17:34,968 --> 00:17:36,526 - You mean Freedom? - Freedom. 323 00:17:36,669 --> 00:17:38,933 - What kind of name is Freedom? - Jamaican, darling. 324 00:17:39,072 --> 00:17:41,939 - Why didn't he come to brunch? - We had a row about his car. 325 00:17:42,075 --> 00:17:43,838 I told him I don't generally get into vehicles 326 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:45,444 that cost less than my handbag. 327 00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:47,341 And he accused me of being a spoiled bitch 328 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,345 who's only in love with his skin color. 329 00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:50,949 Which is surprisingly insightful for someone 330 00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:52,949 who's stoned 24 hours a day. 331 00:17:53,086 --> 00:17:56,249 - Oh, and the creep keeps calling. - What creep? 332 00:17:56,389 --> 00:17:58,755 From the phone company. His name's Tony. 333 00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:01,656 He calls me 5 times a day begging me to go out with him. 334 00:18:01,795 --> 00:18:03,763 Apparently my voice haunts him. 335 00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:06,331 You have an obscene caller from British Telecom? 336 00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,627 I told her she should report him to the police. 337 00:18:08,768 --> 00:18:12,534 I would, but he promised me free broadband. 338 00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:14,230 - What is broadband? - Hi, guys, sorry I'm late. 339 00:18:14,374 --> 00:18:15,841 - Hi, Fin. How are you? - Hello, darling! 340 00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:17,533 Hi, just a cappuccino please. 341 00:18:17,677 --> 00:18:19,645 So, I made a few calls and I'm pretty certain 342 00:18:19,779 --> 00:18:20,541 it's who I thought. 343 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,442 Are you serious? 344 00:18:21,581 --> 00:18:24,345 Well, he was definitely at the Chancery Hotel last Monday. 345 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,145 - Oh, my God! - What are we talking about? 346 00:18:26,286 --> 00:18:27,651 Finlay's figured out who Peter fell in love 347 00:18:27,787 --> 00:18:28,446 with last week. 348 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:31,250 He was at the Chancery Hotel, monday morning, seeing a client! 349 00:18:31,391 --> 00:18:32,858 - Who was? - David Williams! 350 00:18:32,992 --> 00:18:35,358 - You know the guy I bumped into? - I know David! 351 00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:36,860 I love biblical names. 352 00:18:36,996 --> 00:18:39,328 I used to have a cat named David. King David! 353 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,730 - What's he like? - He's dead, fell out of a tree. 354 00:18:41,868 --> 00:18:43,836 He's head of Sotheby's Contemporary Art Department. 355 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:47,337 He's smart, charming, kind. Attractive, as you know. 356 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,237 All the rich ladies have crushes on him! 357 00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:50,842 During his auctions, they all try and outbid 358 00:18:50,977 --> 00:18:51,944 each otherjust to impress him! 359 00:18:52,078 --> 00:18:53,739 I bet my Mother's one of those rich old women. 360 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,142 - Is he gay? - He's gay! 361 00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:56,145 So was my cat. 362 00:18:56,282 --> 00:18:58,842 Actually, I can't believe I haven't tried to fix you up ages ago. 363 00:18:58,985 --> 00:18:59,952 He's perfect for you! 364 00:19:00,086 --> 00:19:02,554 And he was very intrigued by what I told him. 365 00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:04,748 What you told him? What did you tell him? 366 00:19:04,891 --> 00:19:05,949 Nothing. 367 00:19:08,094 --> 00:19:08,958 OK, everything. 368 00:19:09,095 --> 00:19:10,357 - But he was really flattered. - Oh God! 369 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,431 - There's no way I can meet him now. - What? Why not? 370 00:19:12,565 --> 00:19:13,623 Because it's too set up! 371 00:19:13,766 --> 00:19:15,927 There's no way he'll be into me knowing I'm so into him. 372 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:17,832 David's not like that! Trust me! 373 00:19:17,971 --> 00:19:19,529 I have to agree with Peter. 374 00:19:19,672 --> 00:19:21,537 I think accidental meets are much better. 375 00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:24,438 Take me and Freedom. We met in a launderette. 376 00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:27,045 After I told you he was going to be there! 377 00:19:28,081 --> 00:19:30,447 Which isn't to say accidents can't be planned. 378 00:19:46,165 --> 00:19:47,325 Are you OK? 379 00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:49,225 I'm fine. 380 00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:51,628 I'm always like this when I have to see my mother. 381 00:19:51,771 --> 00:19:53,136 Would you rather not go? 382 00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:55,540 No, don't be silly! 383 00:19:55,675 --> 00:19:57,336 This is your big night! 384 00:19:57,477 --> 00:20:00,344 Besides Mother loves you. She loves this David. 385 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,643 Her theme song is 'Matchmaker, Matchmaker.' 386 00:20:05,785 --> 00:20:09,050 Do you want a brownie? I made them myself. 387 00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,348 Thank you. 388 00:20:13,593 --> 00:20:14,958 These are very good. 389 00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:17,358 Yes, they've got quite a lot of hash in them. 390 00:20:22,268 --> 00:20:23,633 Talullah! What's wrong? 391 00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:27,540 Freedom's having an affair. 392 00:20:27,674 --> 00:20:30,040 An affair? You've only been going out for 2 weeks! 393 00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:31,734 Who's he having an affair with? 394 00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:35,639 Me, I just found out he's married. 395 00:20:51,097 --> 00:20:53,827 - Are you OK? - Oh! Yes, fine. 396 00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:57,528 I just lost my keys and they're playing hard to get. 397 00:20:58,571 --> 00:20:59,629 Tada! 398 00:20:59,772 --> 00:21:02,639 We haven't met properly. I'm Paolo Sarmiento by the way. 399 00:21:02,775 --> 00:21:03,833 Emily Jackson. 400 00:21:03,977 --> 00:21:05,945 But all my friends just call me 'Jacks.' 401 00:21:06,079 --> 00:21:09,242 OK. All my friends just call me Paolo. 402 00:21:10,383 --> 00:21:11,441 OK. 403 00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:13,643 You look very beautiful. 404 00:21:15,188 --> 00:21:18,248 Oh! Well, I'm going to this black tie thing for my roommate. 405 00:21:18,391 --> 00:21:20,359 Well, it's not exactly for my roommate. 406 00:21:20,493 --> 00:21:23,053 But... I mean, thanks. 407 00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:25,555 Take care. 408 00:21:25,865 --> 00:21:27,127 Can I give you a lift? 409 00:21:27,266 --> 00:21:28,426 Oh! That's OK. 410 00:21:28,568 --> 00:21:30,229 I have to meet Sasha in Bloomsbury so... 411 00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,530 That's where I'm headed! 412 00:21:32,171 --> 00:21:33,433 OK. 413 00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:35,334 - Get in! - Thank you. 414 00:21:44,484 --> 00:21:46,645 Oh, Talullah! There you are! 415 00:21:46,786 --> 00:21:48,754 This is Klaus Fassbinder. 416 00:21:48,888 --> 00:21:50,651 Klaus, this is my daughter Talullah. 417 00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:52,257 And this is her best friend, Paul. 418 00:21:52,392 --> 00:21:54,656 - It's Peter, Mother! - It's all right. 419 00:21:54,794 --> 00:21:57,354 Darling, you could have worn something nicer. 420 00:21:57,497 --> 00:21:59,624 You could have worn something. Full stop. 421 00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:04,228 Sorry, Fassbinder, are you related to the director? 422 00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:07,430 - Who? - Oh, never mind. 423 00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:09,837 Mrs. Wentworth, thank you so much for this invitation. 424 00:22:09,976 --> 00:22:12,240 Oh please! Call me Felicity! 425 00:22:12,378 --> 00:22:13,936 David is perfect for you, darling! 426 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,049 I can't think why I didn't set you two up earlier! 427 00:22:17,183 --> 00:22:19,549 So, you're Felicity's daughter? 428 00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:21,847 Only by birth. So don't hold it against me. 429 00:22:21,988 --> 00:22:24,047 Donatella! Excuse me. 430 00:22:27,093 --> 00:22:30,153 Whoever designed those heels must really hate women. 431 00:22:30,797 --> 00:22:32,731 I designed those heels. 432 00:22:33,566 --> 00:22:35,124 And thank goodness you did! 433 00:22:35,268 --> 00:22:38,237 Otherwise Mother's arse would be dusting the floor. 434 00:22:43,776 --> 00:22:46,244 So how long have you and Sasha been together? 435 00:22:46,379 --> 00:22:47,243 3 months. 436 00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:49,245 Really? How did you two meet? 437 00:22:50,383 --> 00:22:53,841 - It's a bit embarrassing actually. - Oh go on. Tell me. 438 00:22:54,987 --> 00:22:57,353 We met at a beach party at lpanema. 439 00:22:59,092 --> 00:23:01,959 Sasha wanted to take my picture. I said no. 440 00:23:02,095 --> 00:23:04,154 He pestered me. And one thing led to another. 441 00:23:04,297 --> 00:23:05,457 And... 442 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:07,627 Well, here I am. 443 00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:09,826 Sasha's a wonderful photographer. 444 00:23:09,969 --> 00:23:11,334 Yes. So everyone says. 445 00:23:11,471 --> 00:23:13,234 You're not interested in photography? 446 00:23:13,372 --> 00:23:16,739 Oh, very much. I studied it at university. 447 00:23:16,876 --> 00:23:20,642 But I'm more into reportage. Capturing real moments. 448 00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,645 Sasha's brilliant at capturing real moments. 449 00:23:22,782 --> 00:23:23,840 Don't you think? 450 00:23:25,184 --> 00:23:26,446 Not really. 451 00:23:26,586 --> 00:23:29,749 I think Sasha's brilliant at creating moments. 452 00:23:29,889 --> 00:23:31,447 Most of which aren't real. 453 00:23:31,591 --> 00:23:33,354 But then again, fashion isn't real, 454 00:23:33,493 --> 00:23:36,360 so maybe he's capturing reality after all. 455 00:23:36,496 --> 00:23:37,463 What do you think? 456 00:23:39,866 --> 00:23:42,733 I think people shouldn't bite the hand that feeds them. 457 00:23:43,569 --> 00:23:45,127 Excuse me? 458 00:23:45,271 --> 00:23:48,434 I mean, thanks to a chance encounter at a beach party, 459 00:23:48,574 --> 00:23:51,441 you hook up with one of the world's top fashion photographers. 460 00:23:51,577 --> 00:23:53,636 First class travel, exotic locations. 461 00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:56,044 You really hit quite the jackpot. 462 00:23:56,182 --> 00:23:57,342 You think that's why I'm with him? 463 00:23:57,483 --> 00:24:00,145 Well, it's obviously not out of respect for his work. 464 00:24:00,887 --> 00:24:02,855 Do you always judge people so quickly? 465 00:24:02,989 --> 00:24:03,956 I'm notjudging you. 466 00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,057 No? 467 00:24:05,191 --> 00:24:07,056 Then maybe you're judging Sasha. 468 00:24:07,193 --> 00:24:08,353 You seem to think the only reason 469 00:24:08,494 --> 00:24:11,054 someone might be with him is for this 'jackpot.' 470 00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:15,825 This is fine. 471 00:24:21,174 --> 00:24:22,232 Thanks for the ride. 472 00:24:29,482 --> 00:24:32,940 I would like to welcome you all to this year's 473 00:24:33,085 --> 00:24:36,953 'Fashion Against the lmpending Threat of Global Warming.' 474 00:24:40,193 --> 00:24:44,562 There is nothing more important right now, than global poverty. 475 00:24:44,697 --> 00:24:48,224 I mean in the warming sense. 476 00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:50,835 Actually, I was just talking to Donatella. 477 00:24:51,571 --> 00:24:54,540 - Sorry, I'm late. So is he here? - Not yet. 478 00:24:54,674 --> 00:24:56,335 - Where's Talullah? - In the bathroom. 479 00:24:56,475 --> 00:24:58,739 She's been eating large quantities of hash brownies. 480 00:24:58,878 --> 00:24:59,845 - Again? - Yeah. 481 00:24:59,979 --> 00:25:04,143 So with no further ado, I would like to introduce 482 00:25:04,283 --> 00:25:06,148 any available British celebrity! 483 00:25:07,887 --> 00:25:11,345 I mean... Angus Deaton! 484 00:25:22,969 --> 00:25:24,937 - Bitch! - Wanker! 485 00:25:25,071 --> 00:25:27,335 Thank you and thank you to Felicity for all her. 486 00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:32,035 Jacks! You look so pretty! 487 00:25:32,178 --> 00:25:35,238 I think you're very, very pretty Jacks. 488 00:25:35,381 --> 00:25:36,746 Thank you, Talullah. 489 00:25:36,883 --> 00:25:38,646 I think you're very pretty too. 490 00:25:38,784 --> 00:25:41,344 But not as pretty as Freedom's wife! 491 00:25:41,487 --> 00:25:43,546 I'm sure you're far prettier than Freedom's wife. 492 00:25:43,689 --> 00:25:46,055 You're just saying that because you're a POOF! 493 00:25:46,192 --> 00:25:48,160 Talullah! What's wrong with you? 494 00:25:48,294 --> 00:25:49,454 Genetics. 495 00:25:50,596 --> 00:25:53,224 - Hello, Jones. - It's Jacks, Mother! 496 00:25:53,366 --> 00:25:56,631 - You look lovely! - Thank you. So do you! 497 00:25:56,769 --> 00:25:57,827 I don't! 498 00:25:57,970 --> 00:25:59,631 I'm pasty white. 499 00:26:01,073 --> 00:26:03,041 Why wasn't I born black? 500 00:26:03,476 --> 00:26:06,036 OK, first up then we have an outfit called 501 00:26:06,178 --> 00:26:10,046 Ice Dream donated by Klaus Fassbinder! 502 00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:15,852 Let's start the bidding. If you would at 1,000 pounds. 503 00:26:15,988 --> 00:26:16,647 Thank you, sir. 504 00:26:16,789 --> 00:26:19,155 David's flight from New York must have been delayed. 505 00:26:19,292 --> 00:26:21,351 But he should be here at any minute. 506 00:26:22,295 --> 00:26:24,354 He was very intrigued by what I told him! 507 00:26:24,497 --> 00:26:26,124 What, what you told him? 508 00:26:26,265 --> 00:26:28,028 You know, about how you saw him at the hotel 509 00:26:28,167 --> 00:26:31,136 and it was love at first sight! And what a catch you are. 510 00:26:31,270 --> 00:26:34,239 How it's about time you found yourself a nice boyfriend! 511 00:26:36,075 --> 00:26:37,440 You told him all that? 512 00:26:38,277 --> 00:26:40,643 He seemed very flattered Paul! 513 00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:42,441 1,500 pounds. 514 00:26:42,581 --> 00:26:46,642 Any advance on 1,500 pounds? 515 00:26:46,786 --> 00:26:49,653 Going once, going twice... 516 00:26:49,789 --> 00:26:52,257 10,000 pounds! 517 00:26:53,993 --> 00:26:57,759 10,000 pounds! 518 00:26:57,897 --> 00:26:59,330 Don't touch the dress! 519 00:27:00,766 --> 00:27:02,927 Any advance on 10,000 pounds. 520 00:27:03,569 --> 00:27:04,831 No? 521 00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:07,337 Going once. Going twice! 522 00:27:08,474 --> 00:27:09,839 10,000 pounds! 523 00:27:16,082 --> 00:27:18,949 I was only joking. I was just kidding! 524 00:27:20,286 --> 00:27:24,746 I was only joking. It was a joke. 525 00:27:25,791 --> 00:27:26,849 Charity! 526 00:27:36,969 --> 00:27:39,233 Hello? Oh, hi James. 527 00:27:39,372 --> 00:27:42,136 - Do I live here? - No, I live here. 528 00:27:42,274 --> 00:27:43,935 Oh, how do you do? 529 00:27:50,583 --> 00:27:52,642 Oh, Peter, I feel so bad. 530 00:27:52,785 --> 00:27:53,945 C'mon, drink this. 531 00:27:54,086 --> 00:27:55,348 No, I mean about you. 532 00:27:55,488 --> 00:27:58,946 Not getting to meet Robbie Williams because of me. 533 00:27:59,091 --> 00:28:00,149 It's OK. 534 00:28:10,469 --> 00:28:15,031 #I'm loving angels instead... 535 00:28:15,174 --> 00:28:17,335 - How's our patient? - She'll live. 536 00:28:17,476 --> 00:28:20,536 - Well, I have great news! - Oh yes, what? 537 00:28:20,679 --> 00:28:23,546 - You know James is in New York. - Yes, that is great news. 538 00:28:23,682 --> 00:28:27,140 Who guess he ran into at one of the Art Auctions over there. 539 00:28:27,887 --> 00:28:30,549 - Who? - David Williams! 540 00:28:30,689 --> 00:28:33,453 OK! Please, please tell me he didn't say anything! 541 00:28:33,592 --> 00:28:35,651 - Was he not meant to say anything? - Oh, my god! 542 00:28:35,795 --> 00:28:37,160 News of my crush has just travelled across 543 00:28:37,296 --> 00:28:38,456 the Atlantic Ocean! 544 00:28:38,597 --> 00:28:41,327 David Williams must think I'm a needy, desperate freak! 545 00:28:41,467 --> 00:28:44,231 Well, there's no point in pretending to be something you're not! 546 00:28:45,971 --> 00:28:47,336 Where do you think you're going? 547 00:28:47,773 --> 00:28:50,435 I just remembered. I need a pedicure. 548 00:28:50,576 --> 00:28:54,535 Talullah. I think just this once, you should paint your own toenails. 549 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,147 Don't be ridiculous! 550 00:28:56,282 --> 00:28:59,843 I need a lot more incentive to bend over that far. 551 00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:05,957 There's nail polish here. 552 00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:09,653 - Oh, are we at the salon? - Yes. 553 00:29:31,383 --> 00:29:33,647 - Ready for lunch? - Sure am! 554 00:29:33,786 --> 00:29:35,947 Is everything OK? 555 00:29:36,088 --> 00:29:38,454 Oh yeah. Fine. T-cells unchanged. 556 00:29:38,591 --> 00:29:39,956 Liver holding up. Everything's great. 557 00:29:40,092 --> 00:29:42,458 So despite your fragile beauty, you're actually built like an ox. 558 00:29:42,595 --> 00:29:43,562 Go figure. 559 00:29:43,696 --> 00:29:45,459 Did you hear the news about David? 560 00:29:45,598 --> 00:29:47,623 Yes. Talullah's Mother told me he never even showed. 561 00:29:47,766 --> 00:29:49,529 Which actually proves my theory he must think 562 00:29:49,668 --> 00:29:50,532 I'm a stalker freak. 563 00:29:50,669 --> 00:29:52,830 I'm sure he doesn't think that. 564 00:29:52,972 --> 00:29:55,736 Fin, in 3 short weeks he's heard about my desperate obsession 565 00:29:55,875 --> 00:29:58,139 from you, from Talullah's mother, and now from James, 566 00:29:58,277 --> 00:29:59,642 all the way in New York! 567 00:29:59,778 --> 00:30:00,836 Read this! 568 00:30:02,481 --> 00:30:04,346 David didn't show because he had to stay in New York. 569 00:30:04,483 --> 00:30:07,350 Because he was promoted to Sotheby's New York office. 570 00:30:07,486 --> 00:30:08,453 Satisfied? 571 00:30:09,889 --> 00:30:11,948 I can't believe I drove him out the country. 572 00:30:12,091 --> 00:30:13,149 Come on. 573 00:30:22,368 --> 00:30:23,426 Jacks. 574 00:30:24,870 --> 00:30:26,337 Have you ever thought this whole 'true love' thing 575 00:30:26,472 --> 00:30:27,530 might be a conspiracy? 576 00:30:27,673 --> 00:30:30,141 - A conspiracy? - Yeah, a capitalist conspiracy. 577 00:30:30,276 --> 00:30:33,837 A lie concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music industries. 578 00:30:33,979 --> 00:30:36,743 All pushing this thing, this concept that doesn't even exist! 579 00:30:36,882 --> 00:30:38,747 True love doesn't exist? 580 00:30:39,185 --> 00:30:40,152 Well, think about it. 581 00:30:40,286 --> 00:30:42,254 Where is it besides songs, books and films? 582 00:30:42,388 --> 00:30:45,357 I mean, who can honestly say 'I will always love you? ' 583 00:30:45,491 --> 00:30:47,550 - Whitney Houston? - Yeah, when she's high on crack. 584 00:30:47,693 --> 00:30:50,059 The point is, Everyone's miserable because they're looking for 585 00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:52,164 this nonexistent 'thing,' or else they're miserable 586 00:30:52,298 --> 00:30:54,232 because they think they've settled for less. 587 00:30:54,366 --> 00:30:56,834 I'm not miserable. And I believe in true love. 588 00:30:56,969 --> 00:30:59,529 Yeah, which is why you're still sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. 589 00:30:59,672 --> 00:31:01,936 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' is on. Wanna watch? 590 00:31:02,074 --> 00:31:05,237 I just told you films have destroyed my ability to love. 591 00:31:05,377 --> 00:31:06,844 I thought that was your mother. 592 00:31:07,479 --> 00:31:09,242 Good point. Shove over. 593 00:31:17,389 --> 00:31:19,050 This is your favorite film? 594 00:31:19,191 --> 00:31:20,658 Look at me. Can't you tell? 595 00:31:49,188 --> 00:31:50,553 - Where's Daphne? - Out. 596 00:31:50,689 --> 00:31:52,247 Can I give her a message? 597 00:31:52,391 --> 00:31:54,450 These are the contact sheets from the shoot. 598 00:31:54,593 --> 00:31:55,560 I've marked my selects. 599 00:31:55,694 --> 00:31:57,753 Tell Daphne my assistant Paolo is handling the retouching, 600 00:31:57,896 --> 00:31:59,727 so if she needs any other prints, she can call him at the lab. 601 00:31:59,865 --> 00:32:00,524 OK. 602 00:32:00,666 --> 00:32:03,430 And if she needs me, I'll be at my boyfriend's in Paris. 603 00:32:03,569 --> 00:32:06,037 - Paolo? - What about him? 604 00:32:06,472 --> 00:32:08,235 Paolo isn't your boyfriend? 605 00:32:08,374 --> 00:32:11,036 Why would you think he was my boyfriend? 606 00:32:11,176 --> 00:32:13,838 I just assumed. Talking to Paolo. 607 00:32:13,979 --> 00:32:15,742 - Really? - I'm sorry. 608 00:32:16,682 --> 00:32:18,445 No need to be sorry, carino! 609 00:32:18,584 --> 00:32:21,348 You're not the first person who gets this impression from Paolo. 610 00:32:21,487 --> 00:32:25,048 To be honest, I think maybe he had a little crush on me. 611 00:32:25,190 --> 00:32:29,149 I'm very flattered of course, and if I wasn't already involved. 612 00:32:29,295 --> 00:32:30,956 But, you know, it's all about timing, no? 613 00:32:31,096 --> 00:32:34,031 And right now, I have a train to catch! Ciao ciao! 614 00:32:36,769 --> 00:32:38,236 Ciao, ciao. 615 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,941 These look great. 616 00:32:50,082 --> 00:32:51,242 Paolo. 617 00:32:52,685 --> 00:32:54,949 Look, I'm sorry about the other night. 618 00:32:55,087 --> 00:32:58,147 Sasha told me everything and I feel like an idiot. 619 00:32:59,091 --> 00:33:00,649 Could you please forgive me? 620 00:33:02,294 --> 00:33:03,352 Yes. 621 00:33:03,996 --> 00:33:04,860 You don't know me. 622 00:33:04,997 --> 00:33:07,227 If you did, you'd know I'd never take advantage of Sasha. 623 00:33:08,167 --> 00:33:09,429 Anyway. I should go. 624 00:33:10,269 --> 00:33:11,327 Have a good weekend. 625 00:33:12,771 --> 00:33:13,829 You, too. 626 00:33:23,682 --> 00:33:26,651 - So how do I get to know you? - What? 627 00:33:26,785 --> 00:33:29,345 - How about over a cup of coffee? - A cup of coffee? 628 00:33:29,488 --> 00:33:31,046 It's the least I could do after the other day! 629 00:33:31,190 --> 00:33:34,455 Besides, we can't have you all alone in London on a Friday night! 630 00:33:34,593 --> 00:33:36,356 You make me sound like an exchange student. 631 00:33:36,495 --> 00:33:38,463 - I didn't mean it like that. - No? 632 00:33:38,597 --> 00:33:41,725 Then why else would someone like you want to have a coffee with me? 633 00:33:41,867 --> 00:33:42,925 Someone like me? 634 00:33:43,068 --> 00:33:45,229 It's OK. Really. I forgive you. 635 00:33:45,371 --> 00:33:48,932 So you can stop feeling sorry for me or guilty or whatever. 636 00:33:49,074 --> 00:33:51,235 I'm sure you have better things to do on a Friday night. 637 00:33:54,079 --> 00:33:58,539 Actually, 'someone like me' has nothing to do on a Friday night. OK? 638 00:33:58,684 --> 00:34:01,653 Oh, but wait, now you're going to say 'someone like me' 639 00:34:01,787 --> 00:34:05,348 only wants to have coffee with you 640 00:34:05,491 --> 00:34:08,051 because I've got nothing better to do. 641 00:34:08,193 --> 00:34:12,323 I just can't win can I? Never mind. 642 00:34:12,464 --> 00:34:16,525 To tell you the truth, 'someone like me' hates coffee. 643 00:34:16,668 --> 00:34:18,533 I hate coffee too. 644 00:34:19,471 --> 00:34:21,029 Este... 645 00:34:21,173 --> 00:34:22,936 Where did you learn to speak Spanish like that? 646 00:34:23,075 --> 00:34:25,635 What? Not what you'd expect from 'someone like me? ' 647 00:34:26,378 --> 00:34:27,743 I find you very confusing. 648 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,849 So does my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend. 649 00:34:32,885 --> 00:34:34,352 Do you want to get a drink? 650 00:34:34,486 --> 00:34:35,953 There's this amazing place near here. 651 00:34:36,088 --> 00:34:37,851 Tonight's South American night. 652 00:34:40,893 --> 00:34:44,260 OK. But only because I feel sorry for myself, 653 00:34:44,396 --> 00:34:46,330 and I know you must feel guilty. 654 00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:51,831 I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice. 655 00:34:51,970 --> 00:34:53,335 Finlay thinks the world of you. 656 00:34:53,472 --> 00:34:55,940 And I think THE WORLD of Finlay! 657 00:34:59,178 --> 00:35:00,645 Yes, well... 658 00:35:00,779 --> 00:35:03,748 He said you really sorted him out on the relationship front. 659 00:35:03,882 --> 00:35:06,043 And I could certainly use some help there. 660 00:35:06,185 --> 00:35:09,848 You see I've never actually been in a relationship 661 00:35:09,988 --> 00:35:11,148 except in my own head. 662 00:35:11,290 --> 00:35:12,757 And how long did that last? 663 00:35:13,392 --> 00:35:15,860 - What? - The relationship in your head. 664 00:35:16,695 --> 00:35:18,253 No. I mean, it's an ongoing problem. 665 00:35:18,397 --> 00:35:22,128 They only last in my head. For varying amounts of time. 666 00:35:22,267 --> 00:35:24,326 So you have a problem with monogamy? 667 00:35:24,870 --> 00:35:29,136 No, no that. No, that's not my problem. 668 00:35:29,274 --> 00:35:33,040 Denial is not a river in Egypt! 669 00:35:33,679 --> 00:35:37,137 Not a river in Egypt. D'you see what I did there? 670 00:35:37,282 --> 00:35:40,740 Just that's a little therapistjoke. Doesn't always work. 671 00:35:40,886 --> 00:35:42,854 - OK, right. Paul? - Peter. 672 00:35:42,988 --> 00:35:44,546 - Sorry? - Peter. 673 00:35:44,690 --> 00:35:47,853 Peter. Peter. Yes, it is. You're absolutely right. Peter. 674 00:35:47,993 --> 00:35:51,360 That's a good start. Well done you! 675 00:35:51,497 --> 00:35:52,930 I think I can help you. 676 00:35:53,065 --> 00:35:55,033 - You do? - I do. 677 00:35:55,167 --> 00:35:57,829 I think you are stuck in that pre relationship 678 00:35:57,970 --> 00:36:01,133 moment of infatuation and you need to be reminded 679 00:36:01,273 --> 00:36:05,039 that a real relationship has many, many, many more stages. 680 00:36:05,177 --> 00:36:06,940 Stages. I like that. 681 00:36:07,079 --> 00:36:11,539 Relationships are best measured by farting. 682 00:36:12,985 --> 00:36:13,952 Excuse me? 683 00:36:14,086 --> 00:36:17,647 The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. 684 00:36:17,789 --> 00:36:20,656 Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence. 685 00:36:20,792 --> 00:36:24,660 This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend 686 00:36:24,796 --> 00:36:27,424 that they have no bodily waste. 687 00:36:27,566 --> 00:36:30,228 This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy 688 00:36:30,369 --> 00:36:35,033 'ooh did you fart? ' followed by the sheepish admission of truth. 689 00:36:35,173 --> 00:36:38,336 This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. 690 00:36:38,477 --> 00:36:42,243 A period I like to call the 'fart honeymoon'. 691 00:36:42,381 --> 00:36:46,442 Where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing 692 00:36:46,585 --> 00:36:48,052 in the world. 693 00:36:48,186 --> 00:36:51,952 But of course no honeymoon can last forever. 694 00:36:53,592 --> 00:36:57,551 And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. 695 00:36:57,696 --> 00:37:01,325 Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass, 696 00:37:01,466 --> 00:37:04,833 thereby signifying true love or else, 697 00:37:04,970 --> 00:37:08,428 it begins to annoy and disgust. 698 00:37:08,574 --> 00:37:13,637 Thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid 699 00:37:13,779 --> 00:37:15,337 in the formerly beloved. 700 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,038 Do you see what I'm getting at? 701 00:37:18,383 --> 00:37:21,147 Peter? Peter? 702 00:37:21,286 --> 00:37:22,344 Earth to Peter? 703 00:37:22,487 --> 00:37:23,044 - What? - Sorry I'm late. 704 00:37:23,188 --> 00:37:25,554 I was talking to Tony. 705 00:37:25,691 --> 00:37:26,658 Who's Tony? 706 00:37:26,792 --> 00:37:29,659 You know. Tony. From the phone company. 707 00:37:29,795 --> 00:37:31,660 You're seeing your obscene phone caller? 708 00:37:31,797 --> 00:37:33,526 Of course I'm not 'seeing him', darling. 709 00:37:33,665 --> 00:37:36,725 We're having a strictly phone-based relationship. 710 00:37:36,868 --> 00:37:38,028 So what's going on? 711 00:37:39,071 --> 00:37:41,335 Finlay thinks I should see his therapist. 712 00:37:41,473 --> 00:37:42,633 Finlay sees a therapist? 713 00:37:42,774 --> 00:37:45,538 Yeah, some woman he says is really good with relationships. 714 00:37:45,677 --> 00:37:47,042 Maybe I should see her. 715 00:37:47,179 --> 00:37:50,148 I think I need to get in touch with my inner child. 716 00:37:50,782 --> 00:37:52,443 Talullah, if you get in touch with your inner child 717 00:37:52,584 --> 00:37:54,051 you're going to need an inner nanny. 718 00:37:54,186 --> 00:37:56,746 Oh, I don't trust nannies. They're all whores! 719 00:37:56,888 --> 00:37:59,152 - What about Mary Poppins? - Slut! 720 00:37:59,291 --> 00:38:00,952 What are you talking about? 721 00:38:01,093 --> 00:38:03,061 She left the convent, married Christopher Plummer, 722 00:38:03,195 --> 00:38:05,254 and then took all his children up the Alps. 723 00:38:06,665 --> 00:38:08,929 Speaking of The Sound of Music, where's Jacks? 724 00:38:14,272 --> 00:38:16,740 The riots completely shut down Buenos Aires. 725 00:38:16,875 --> 00:38:18,433 It was unbelievable! 726 00:38:18,577 --> 00:38:20,943 The whole country, rich, poor, young, old, 727 00:38:21,079 --> 00:38:23,240 everyone for this one moment, came together. 728 00:38:23,382 --> 00:38:26,351 - These are incredible! - The moment was incredible. 729 00:38:26,485 --> 00:38:28,248 You captured the moment. 730 00:38:28,387 --> 00:38:31,447 My friend Finlay owns an art gallery. I'd love to show these to him. 731 00:38:31,590 --> 00:38:33,649 - That's very kind of you but... - Very kind of me? What? 732 00:38:33,792 --> 00:38:35,453 You think you're some kind of charity case? 733 00:38:35,594 --> 00:38:38,757 - No, but... I just... - Don't tell me you're afraid. 734 00:38:39,765 --> 00:38:40,823 I'm afraid you're drunk. 735 00:38:40,966 --> 00:38:42,228 Because I think you're talented? 736 00:38:42,367 --> 00:38:44,927 Because you've had 3 caiperinhas. 737 00:38:46,371 --> 00:38:49,829 - Do you know how to tango? - Yeah. Why? 738 00:38:49,975 --> 00:38:51,943 Because, everyone knows you can't be drunk and tango. 739 00:38:52,077 --> 00:38:53,942 So if I can tango, then I'm not drunk. 740 00:38:54,079 --> 00:38:57,742 And I get to show your pictures to Finlay. 741 00:38:57,883 --> 00:38:59,851 Well, then you're right and I won't tell a soul. 742 00:39:02,688 --> 00:39:03,746 Tambien... 743 00:39:31,583 --> 00:39:33,642 So about my friend Finlay. 744 00:40:12,090 --> 00:40:14,058 - So tell me your secret. - What secret? 745 00:40:14,192 --> 00:40:16,558 How an American can speak like a Spaniard and dance 746 00:40:16,695 --> 00:40:17,957 like an Argentinean. 747 00:40:18,997 --> 00:40:21,022 - I'm not American. - No? 748 00:40:21,166 --> 00:40:24,329 Well, not technically. I was born in England. 749 00:40:24,469 --> 00:40:27,029 My Father was English. My Mother was Spanish. 750 00:40:27,172 --> 00:40:30,733 I grew up with my Mother's family in America. 751 00:40:30,876 --> 00:40:32,741 After my parents died. 752 00:40:37,282 --> 00:40:40,547 How old were you when you moved to America? 753 00:40:40,685 --> 00:40:41,743 Five. 754 00:40:41,887 --> 00:40:44,355 - I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry. - It's not that. 755 00:40:45,290 --> 00:40:49,056 It's just I don't want to be one of those awful characters 756 00:40:49,194 --> 00:40:53,824 out of a movie that gushes out their past while the violins play. 757 00:40:55,267 --> 00:40:58,430 I mean I had a bad age five. 758 00:40:58,570 --> 00:41:01,038 I had a terrible age five, actually. 759 00:41:01,873 --> 00:41:06,537 But all in all, since then, my life's been pretty blessed. 760 00:41:20,392 --> 00:41:22,758 - So do you live alone? - No, I live with Peter. 761 00:41:22,894 --> 00:41:25,829 - Oh? Your boyfriend? - Oh God no! He's my best friend. 762 00:41:25,964 --> 00:41:29,331 We went to college together. He's gay. 763 00:41:29,467 --> 00:41:30,934 All the good ones are... 764 00:41:33,872 --> 00:41:36,636 You should meet him actually. He's a brilliant writer. 765 00:41:36,775 --> 00:41:38,743 Screenplays. Well, that's the goal at least. 766 00:41:38,877 --> 00:41:41,846 He's just the sweetest, funniest, kindest guy I know. 767 00:41:41,980 --> 00:41:43,948 If he wasn't gay, I'd have married him years ago. 768 00:41:44,082 --> 00:41:45,947 - He sounds wonderful. - He is! 769 00:41:47,986 --> 00:41:49,544 What are you doing tomorrow? 770 00:41:49,688 --> 00:41:52,452 Tomorrow? Nothing. 771 00:41:52,591 --> 00:41:53,853 You wanna have dinner? 772 00:41:54,593 --> 00:41:55,651 Oh, sure! 773 00:41:55,794 --> 00:41:57,955 Great! Come over at 8! 774 00:42:01,066 --> 00:42:02,226 Ta da! 775 00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:05,036 Well, I had an amazing time tonight. 776 00:42:05,170 --> 00:42:06,228 Me, too. 777 00:42:07,672 --> 00:42:08,730 Bye! 778 00:42:18,683 --> 00:42:20,844 I've never been for a walk in the morning before. 779 00:42:20,986 --> 00:42:22,647 At least, not since I've been in New York... 780 00:42:22,988 --> 00:42:24,250 - Hey, babies! - Hi! 781 00:42:24,389 --> 00:42:26,357 - What are you doing? - Watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's.' 782 00:42:26,491 --> 00:42:28,356 - Again? - Yeah, I'm doing research. 783 00:42:28,493 --> 00:42:29,858 Stop doing research and would you write 784 00:42:29,995 --> 00:42:31,462 your goddamn screenplay! 785 00:42:31,596 --> 00:42:34,030 Did you realize, in the book, the male character's gay? 786 00:42:34,165 --> 00:42:35,723 That's why they have such an amazing friendship. 787 00:42:35,867 --> 00:42:37,425 Because she feels safe with him. 788 00:42:37,569 --> 00:42:41,027 Whereas in the film, he's straight and she just wears gorgeous hats. 789 00:42:41,172 --> 00:42:45,131 Speaking of gorgeous, I just met the cutest Argentinean boy. 790 00:42:45,277 --> 00:42:46,539 Oh, yeah? 791 00:42:46,678 --> 00:42:48,441 He's absolutely gorgeous. 792 00:42:48,580 --> 00:42:51,344 And sweet and smart. And an amazing tango dancer! 793 00:42:51,483 --> 00:42:52,950 That's very useful in today's world. 794 00:42:53,084 --> 00:42:56,053 Who also happens to be an exceptionally talented photographer. 795 00:42:56,187 --> 00:42:58,849 Oh! Does this mean we're finally over James? 796 00:42:58,990 --> 00:43:01,356 - James? He's gay! - James is gay?! 797 00:43:01,493 --> 00:43:03,654 No, Paolo. Paolo is gay. 798 00:43:03,795 --> 00:43:06,730 He's been assisting for Sasha, you know the fashion photographer 799 00:43:06,865 --> 00:43:09,026 and I thought that they were, you know, sleeping together 800 00:43:09,167 --> 00:43:10,134 but now they're not. 801 00:43:10,268 --> 00:43:12,532 And he really wants to meet you. He doesn't know anyone in London. 802 00:43:12,671 --> 00:43:14,332 And I told him that you'd have dinner with him... 803 00:43:14,472 --> 00:43:16,235 - What? - Tomorrow. It'll be good for you. 804 00:43:16,374 --> 00:43:17,841 It'll take your mind off. 805 00:43:17,976 --> 00:43:20,444 Jacks! There is absolutely no way I am going 806 00:43:20,578 --> 00:43:22,045 on another blind date. The answer's no! 807 00:43:25,183 --> 00:43:26,343 Paolo! Hi! 808 00:43:26,484 --> 00:43:27,849 Come in! Come in! 809 00:43:28,987 --> 00:43:30,648 I'm afraid I'm running late! 810 00:43:30,789 --> 00:43:33,656 Oh, these are lovely, but Peter hates flowers. 811 00:43:33,792 --> 00:43:34,656 We'll pretend they're for me. 812 00:43:34,793 --> 00:43:36,158 Can I get you something to drink? 813 00:43:36,294 --> 00:43:37,556 Champagne? 814 00:43:37,696 --> 00:43:39,027 Sure. 815 00:43:39,164 --> 00:43:40,631 So, how was your Saturday? 816 00:43:41,366 --> 00:43:42,424 - Paolo? - What? 817 00:43:42,567 --> 00:43:44,330 What did you do today? 818 00:43:44,469 --> 00:43:46,630 Oh, yeah. I went to the Tate. 819 00:43:46,771 --> 00:43:49,137 The Museum. The Tate Modern Museum. 820 00:43:49,274 --> 00:43:51,139 - Your first time? - Yep. 821 00:43:51,276 --> 00:43:52,834 And? What did you think? 822 00:43:52,978 --> 00:43:56,038 I mean, it's pretty amazing visually. Right? 823 00:43:56,181 --> 00:43:57,739 The way it's built. 824 00:43:57,882 --> 00:44:00,350 Isn't itjust visually stunning? 825 00:44:00,485 --> 00:44:01,747 Don't you think, Paolo? 826 00:44:02,787 --> 00:44:03,549 Yeah! 827 00:44:03,688 --> 00:44:06,054 Paolo, I can't hear you. Can you come back here? 828 00:44:06,191 --> 00:44:07,658 I don't want to have to scream. 829 00:44:14,265 --> 00:44:16,733 So what else did you? After the Tate Modern? 830 00:44:16,868 --> 00:44:19,132 I'm sorry, I didn't... I'll just close the door. 831 00:44:19,270 --> 00:44:20,032 Oh, it's fine! 832 00:44:20,171 --> 00:44:21,832 Peter and I always have our best conversations 833 00:44:21,973 --> 00:44:22,837 when I'm in the bath. 834 00:44:22,974 --> 00:44:24,236 - Peter? - Jacks? 835 00:44:24,376 --> 00:44:25,536 Shit! 836 00:44:25,677 --> 00:44:27,542 - Jacks! - I'll be right out! 837 00:44:27,679 --> 00:44:30,045 - Is that Peter? - No. James. Do me a favour. 838 00:44:30,181 --> 00:44:31,341 Go out and tell him I'll be out in 5. 839 00:44:31,483 --> 00:44:32,848 And close the door behind you. 840 00:44:38,490 --> 00:44:40,549 Hi, sorry, I... Jacks is in the bath. 841 00:44:40,692 --> 00:44:42,159 She says she'll be out in 5. 842 00:44:42,293 --> 00:44:44,158 - Who are you? - Paolo Sarmiento. 843 00:44:44,295 --> 00:44:45,728 I, I work with Jacks. 844 00:44:47,465 --> 00:44:49,729 - James! - Peter. Hi. 845 00:44:49,868 --> 00:44:52,428 - Hello? - Hi, Peter. I'm Paolo. 846 00:44:52,570 --> 00:44:53,434 Paolo. Hi. 847 00:44:53,571 --> 00:44:55,630 Hi! I've heard so much about you. 848 00:44:55,774 --> 00:44:56,832 Really? 849 00:44:57,575 --> 00:45:00,544 - Where's, where's Jacks? - In the bath, apparently. 850 00:45:00,678 --> 00:45:03,442 Right. Excuse me for a second? 851 00:45:13,091 --> 00:45:15,252 - What's he doing here? - He just flew back from New York. 852 00:45:15,393 --> 00:45:16,360 Not James. Paolo! 853 00:45:16,494 --> 00:45:19,429 - He's having dinner with you. - No! No. No way. 854 00:45:19,564 --> 00:45:20,826 Why not? Give me one good reason. 855 00:45:20,965 --> 00:45:22,626 - It's too soon. - Too soon? 856 00:45:22,767 --> 00:45:25,031 - I'm still not over David. - You don't even know David. 857 00:45:25,170 --> 00:45:25,932 That's a technicality. 858 00:45:26,071 --> 00:45:27,436 Besides, after everything everyone's said, 859 00:45:27,572 --> 00:45:28,630 I feel like I know him very well. 860 00:45:28,773 --> 00:45:31,037 Babies, David doesn't even live in London anymore. 861 00:45:31,176 --> 00:45:32,234 Oh, so you're saying I should forget about him 862 00:45:32,377 --> 00:45:33,435 purely for geographic reasons? 863 00:45:33,578 --> 00:45:35,443 I'm saying that I don't think it's healthy for you to have 864 00:45:35,580 --> 00:45:36,638 a long distance relationship with someone 865 00:45:36,781 --> 00:45:38,544 you've never even met! 866 00:45:38,683 --> 00:45:40,344 How does that look? More blush? 867 00:45:40,485 --> 00:45:42,146 - No, you're good. - Thank you. 868 00:45:43,988 --> 00:45:47,651 I'm afraid Jacks sort of surprised me with this. 869 00:45:47,792 --> 00:45:49,350 Yes. She surprised me too. 870 00:45:49,494 --> 00:45:52,429 Yeah, well, that's our Jacks! Full of surprises! 871 00:45:53,465 --> 00:45:57,026 So is James... Are they together? 872 00:45:58,970 --> 00:45:59,937 Well, technically no. 873 00:46:00,071 --> 00:46:02,130 But for all practical purposes, yes. 874 00:46:02,273 --> 00:46:04,036 - I don't understand. - Join the club. 875 00:46:04,175 --> 00:46:07,235 When it comes to love, Jacks is completely incomprehensible. 876 00:46:07,879 --> 00:46:10,643 So does she love him? 877 00:46:12,083 --> 00:46:13,050 I suppose, in a way, she must. 878 00:46:13,184 --> 00:46:15,948 I just don't think she likes him very much. 879 00:46:16,087 --> 00:46:17,850 But come to think of it, Jacks never goes out with men 880 00:46:17,989 --> 00:46:19,251 she actually likes. 881 00:46:21,893 --> 00:46:22,757 You're insane. 882 00:46:22,894 --> 00:46:24,862 Why, because I don't like you having strange men with you 883 00:46:24,996 --> 00:46:25,928 while you're in the bath? 884 00:46:26,064 --> 00:46:30,125 - Jams, he's gay, for God sakes! - Great, another poof. 885 00:46:30,268 --> 00:46:31,633 Since when did you become homophobic? 886 00:46:31,769 --> 00:46:34,329 Since I realized being gay is the only way to be intimate with you. 887 00:46:34,472 --> 00:46:35,939 Don't be absurd. 888 00:46:38,676 --> 00:46:41,338 I can't believe I've just vomited the entire saga of 889 00:46:41,479 --> 00:46:43,845 my imaginary love life with David Williams. 890 00:46:43,982 --> 00:46:45,449 I enjoyed it. It's like a movie. 891 00:46:45,583 --> 00:46:48,245 - Yeah, but you must think I'm crazy. - Yes. 892 00:46:48,386 --> 00:46:49,944 But I like crazy people. 893 00:46:50,088 --> 00:46:52,750 Yeah? So do I. 894 00:46:55,693 --> 00:46:58,753 But enough about me. What do you think about me? 895 00:46:59,564 --> 00:47:03,330 No, I'm joking. No, I'm not. No, I was. 896 00:47:09,674 --> 00:47:12,040 Sam, can we have some sambucca, please? 897 00:47:27,592 --> 00:47:29,150 - Don't answer. - I really should. 898 00:47:29,294 --> 00:47:31,262 - Why? - It might be somebody. 899 00:47:33,364 --> 00:47:37,130 Hello? Talullah! Oh sweetie. Hold on a sec. 900 00:47:37,268 --> 00:47:39,236 It's Talullah. She's having a crisis. 901 00:47:39,370 --> 00:47:40,837 How bloody unusual. 902 00:47:41,973 --> 00:47:45,238 OK. Tell me exactly what happened. 903 00:47:45,376 --> 00:47:47,344 He's stopped calling. 904 00:47:47,478 --> 00:47:49,139 - Freedom? - Tony. 905 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:50,338 Who's Tony? 906 00:47:50,481 --> 00:47:53,848 You know. Tony from the phone company. 907 00:47:53,985 --> 00:47:56,453 The psycho who was making obscene calls? 908 00:47:56,588 --> 00:48:00,046 They weren't obscene! They were sweet. 909 00:48:00,191 --> 00:48:02,455 It was the perfect relationship. 910 00:48:02,594 --> 00:48:07,122 I never felt ugly or fat. I knew he wasn't with me for my money. 911 00:48:07,265 --> 00:48:09,733 - I miss him, Jacks! - Talullah, don't be ridiculous. 912 00:48:09,867 --> 00:48:11,528 I can't help how I feel! 913 00:48:11,669 --> 00:48:13,728 Why is it as soon as I fall in love with a man, 914 00:48:13,871 --> 00:48:15,429 he abandons me? 915 00:48:15,573 --> 00:48:17,438 You don't love Tony! 916 00:48:17,575 --> 00:48:20,339 Yes I do! I do love Tony. 917 00:48:21,479 --> 00:48:22,639 What did I do wrong? 918 00:48:22,780 --> 00:48:25,840 OK. Let's indulge this sick fantasy. 919 00:48:25,984 --> 00:48:28,953 What's the last thing you said to Prince Charming? 920 00:48:29,087 --> 00:48:31,453 'Stop pestering me or I'll call the police! ' 921 00:48:37,996 --> 00:48:39,224 Oh, this is us. 922 00:48:40,765 --> 00:48:43,427 Do you want to come upstairs for another drink? 923 00:48:43,568 --> 00:48:45,729 I want to, but I probably shouldn't. 924 00:48:45,870 --> 00:48:47,633 I have to be at the lab at 7. 925 00:48:48,573 --> 00:48:53,135 - Oh, OK. Well... - But I really enjoyed meeting you. 926 00:48:55,079 --> 00:48:56,137 So did I. 927 00:48:58,383 --> 00:48:59,441 So did I. 928 00:49:03,087 --> 00:49:05,146 - Are you OK here? - Oh my God! Oh God! 929 00:49:05,290 --> 00:49:06,552 - You don't! I... - I'm so sorry! 930 00:49:06,691 --> 00:49:09,251 I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. I was just... 931 00:49:09,394 --> 00:49:11,555 - I'm really embarrassed. - No, no, no, listen, Peter. 932 00:49:11,696 --> 00:49:13,027 I really like you a lot, but... 933 00:49:13,164 --> 00:49:14,426 But you don't like me in that way. 934 00:49:14,565 --> 00:49:15,930 Look, I know that speech. 935 00:49:16,067 --> 00:49:18,228 I use that speech because I actually wrote that speech... 936 00:49:18,369 --> 00:49:19,836 I'm not gay. 937 00:49:19,971 --> 00:49:22,439 - I didn't write that part! - I'm straight. 938 00:49:24,175 --> 00:49:25,233 Since when? 939 00:49:26,577 --> 00:49:29,444 I suppose I first noticed when I was around 8. 940 00:49:29,580 --> 00:49:31,844 I thought it was just a phase, you know, but eventually 941 00:49:31,983 --> 00:49:35,043 I had to accept the truth. I like women. 942 00:49:36,487 --> 00:49:39,251 Oh this is good! This is really good. 943 00:49:39,390 --> 00:49:41,449 You know, Jacks is useless at fixing people up... 944 00:49:41,592 --> 00:49:43,651 - Jacks thought I was gay? - Oh she sure did. 945 00:49:43,795 --> 00:49:46,127 And I'm really going to enjoy making her feel stupid about this one. 946 00:49:46,264 --> 00:49:48,425 No! Please don't. 947 00:49:50,068 --> 00:49:51,729 I think I should tell her myself. 948 00:49:56,874 --> 00:49:58,239 You and Jacks? 949 00:49:59,577 --> 00:50:01,238 You and, you and Jacks? 950 00:50:01,979 --> 00:50:02,843 Oh my God! 951 00:50:02,980 --> 00:50:06,347 Oh, look, I... I... I won't say a word. I promise. 952 00:50:06,484 --> 00:50:08,145 - Thanks. - Cross my heart. 953 00:50:09,687 --> 00:50:12,952 - I should go. - Yeah. Yes. 954 00:50:13,091 --> 00:50:15,059 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 955 00:50:25,670 --> 00:50:27,433 So what did you say to Jacks when you got back? 956 00:50:27,572 --> 00:50:29,733 - Nothing, she wasn't there. - But you're going to tell her. 957 00:50:29,874 --> 00:50:30,636 Sorry, I'm late! 958 00:50:30,775 --> 00:50:33,539 I was in the middle of an absolutely gripping book. 959 00:50:33,678 --> 00:50:34,440 I couldn't put it down. 960 00:50:34,579 --> 00:50:35,637 Oh, what book's that? 961 00:50:35,780 --> 00:50:38,544 My memoirs, darling. I've decided to publish. 962 00:50:39,384 --> 00:50:41,249 Bloody Mary please. Light on the bloody. 963 00:50:41,386 --> 00:50:43,149 - Where's Jacks? - Spending the weekend with James. 964 00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:45,653 - Oh God, how disgusting! - Be nice. 965 00:50:45,790 --> 00:50:49,248 I'm sorry, but James Wildstone stands for absolutely everything I despise. 966 00:50:49,394 --> 00:50:50,861 I thought he was a good friend of your family? 967 00:50:50,995 --> 00:50:51,757 Exactly my point. 968 00:50:51,896 --> 00:50:53,523 Well, we shouldn'tjudge. Maybe he's good sex. 969 00:50:53,664 --> 00:50:56,132 Oh, don't be absurd. He's public school. 970 00:50:56,267 --> 00:50:57,928 So he probably likes being spanked. 971 00:50:58,069 --> 00:50:59,627 Or buggered. Or both. 972 00:50:59,771 --> 00:51:02,535 - Sounds like good sex to me. - And me! 973 00:51:02,673 --> 00:51:04,038 And me actually. 974 00:51:05,877 --> 00:51:09,335 I can't believe he's so late! Pandora, try Sasha's mobile. 975 00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,947 - I tried it 5 minutes ago. - Try again. 976 00:51:11,082 --> 00:51:12,640 And leave another message. 977 00:51:12,784 --> 00:51:14,342 Do you have his boyfriend's number in Paris? 978 00:51:14,485 --> 00:51:16,146 He got back from Paris last night. 979 00:51:16,287 --> 00:51:17,845 He broke up with his boyfriend this weekend. 980 00:51:17,989 --> 00:51:19,854 - He did? Is he OK? - Not really. 981 00:51:19,991 --> 00:51:22,755 But Jacks, look, it'll be fine. Sasha always turns up. 982 00:51:22,894 --> 00:51:25,454 - I left another message. - Thanks, Pandora. 983 00:51:26,864 --> 00:51:29,731 So I had a nice evening with Peter the other night. 984 00:51:29,867 --> 00:51:32,131 Oh my God! Really? Isn't he great? 985 00:51:32,270 --> 00:51:34,636 Smart, funny and cute. 986 00:51:34,772 --> 00:51:37,240 Yes, he's absolutely lovely. 987 00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:38,239 Where's Daphne? 988 00:51:38,376 --> 00:51:40,640 She had to go to court today. She left me in charge. 989 00:51:40,778 --> 00:51:42,439 Who put up those lights? 990 00:51:42,580 --> 00:51:44,241 I did, I thought you might want them in the shot. 991 00:51:44,382 --> 00:51:47,749 You're not here to think! You're here to do what I think! OK? 992 00:51:47,885 --> 00:51:50,547 So now you take all this down and you bring me a ring light. 993 00:51:52,890 --> 00:51:56,053 Pandora? Where is Pandora? Where is it? 994 00:51:56,194 --> 00:51:57,252 Here. 995 00:51:57,595 --> 00:51:58,562 What's yourjob? 996 00:51:59,564 --> 00:52:01,031 I'm a wardrobe assistant. 997 00:52:01,165 --> 00:52:04,134 A wardrobe assistant? No, you're a piece of shit! 998 00:52:04,268 --> 00:52:06,236 How dare you call my mobile every 10 minutes 999 00:52:06,370 --> 00:52:07,132 and leave me endless messages. 1000 00:52:07,271 --> 00:52:09,535 I told her to call, Sasha! We were worried. 1001 00:52:09,674 --> 00:52:11,539 - You were late. - I know I was late! 1002 00:52:11,676 --> 00:52:13,644 I just don't need a nobody leaving me 1003 00:52:13,778 --> 00:52:15,143 endless messages about it! 1004 00:52:15,279 --> 00:52:17,543 - I understand you had a rough weekend... - No, you don't understand! 1005 00:52:17,682 --> 00:52:19,047 You understand nothing! 1006 00:52:19,183 --> 00:52:21,242 And I suggest you stop meddling with things 1007 00:52:21,385 --> 00:52:22,943 you don't understand, and just do yourjob! 1008 00:52:23,087 --> 00:52:24,054 Whatever the hell that is. 1009 00:52:24,188 --> 00:52:25,450 I don't know, go steam something! 1010 00:52:25,590 --> 00:52:26,557 Sasha! 1011 00:52:26,691 --> 00:52:27,658 Jacks, he doesn't mean that... 1012 00:52:27,792 --> 00:52:30,659 - Don't you tell her what I mean! - Don't speak to her like that. 1013 00:52:34,065 --> 00:52:36,329 Get out! You're fired! You heard me? You're fired! 1014 00:52:36,467 --> 00:52:37,627 Go back to Argentina! 1015 00:52:37,768 --> 00:52:40,134 You and your little pathetic snapshots! 1016 00:52:40,271 --> 00:52:41,329 Bye bye! 1017 00:52:42,573 --> 00:52:45,133 Anyone else have something to say? 1018 00:52:45,776 --> 00:52:47,243 I have something to say. 1019 00:52:48,980 --> 00:52:50,948 - Apologize! - I'm sorry? 1020 00:52:51,082 --> 00:52:53,346 I said apologize! 1021 00:52:54,085 --> 00:52:55,950 - Are you insane? - Obviously! 1022 00:52:56,087 --> 00:52:58,453 I work at Vogue! But don't change the subject! 1023 00:52:58,589 --> 00:53:00,454 - Apologize. - Or else? 1024 00:53:00,591 --> 00:53:03,151 Or else, I'm walking out with all those dresses. 1025 00:53:04,295 --> 00:53:07,230 Oh! I have a better idea. I will do the walking out thing. 1026 00:53:07,365 --> 00:53:09,731 And let's see what Daphne has to say about that! 1027 00:53:18,876 --> 00:53:20,935 Paolo, can I ask a favour? 1028 00:53:21,579 --> 00:53:24,844 Ah, the classic movie moment when the underdog gets to prove 1029 00:53:24,982 --> 00:53:27,542 his real worth and win the heart of his true love! 1030 00:53:27,685 --> 00:53:28,652 Don't give away the ending! 1031 00:53:28,786 --> 00:53:31,152 It's a romantic comedy! How do you think it ends? 1032 00:53:32,390 --> 00:53:34,153 Hi, sunshine, how are you? 1033 00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:36,556 I just had the most surreal day. 1034 00:53:36,694 --> 00:53:37,854 I had a huge fight with Sasha. 1035 00:53:37,995 --> 00:53:40,429 Paolo took over the shoot, and he was absolutely brilliant. 1036 00:53:40,565 --> 00:53:42,032 I'm probably going to get fired tomorrow, 1037 00:53:42,166 --> 00:53:44,031 but it was so worth itjust to see Paolo in action. 1038 00:53:44,168 --> 00:53:46,432 Oh my God! This is so scary! 1039 00:53:46,571 --> 00:53:47,936 What's she watching? 1040 00:53:48,072 --> 00:53:49,232 Notting Hill. 1041 00:53:50,575 --> 00:53:51,735 So what did you think about Paolo? 1042 00:53:51,876 --> 00:53:53,138 Was I right or was I right? 1043 00:53:53,277 --> 00:53:54,835 Are those my only options? 1044 00:53:54,979 --> 00:53:56,537 Oh no, don't tell me you didn't like him. 1045 00:53:56,681 --> 00:53:58,842 I liked him a lot! I'm just not sure I'm his type. 1046 00:53:58,983 --> 00:53:59,950 Of course, you're his type! 1047 00:54:00,084 --> 00:54:02,143 He told me himself he thought you were 'lovely.' 1048 00:54:02,286 --> 00:54:03,753 Well, I didn't see that coming! 1049 00:54:03,888 --> 00:54:04,752 What? 1050 00:54:04,889 --> 00:54:08,052 Julia Roberts ending up with Hugh Grant! 1051 00:54:14,765 --> 00:54:17,029 You know, Jacks. When I told you to take care of the shoot, 1052 00:54:17,168 --> 00:54:19,728 I was thinking more along the lines of ordering the sushi, 1053 00:54:19,870 --> 00:54:21,838 not enraging our top photographer. 1054 00:54:21,973 --> 00:54:24,237 I can't help it if Sasha's an overpampered monster. 1055 00:54:24,375 --> 00:54:27,742 We work in fashion. Everyone's an overpampered monster. 1056 00:54:27,878 --> 00:54:30,540 Yes, but that isn't an excuse to be so vile to people. 1057 00:54:30,681 --> 00:54:34,139 Besides, his pictures don't have an ounce of truth to them. 1058 00:54:34,285 --> 00:54:37,743 But since when does truth have anything to do with fashion? 1059 00:54:37,888 --> 00:54:40,652 Well, it doesn't. 1060 00:54:40,791 --> 00:54:42,156 But maybe it should. 1061 00:54:44,795 --> 00:54:47,320 - So you were Sasha's assistant? - Yes. 1062 00:54:47,465 --> 00:54:49,023 How very 'All About Eve.' 1063 00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:50,929 'All About Eve? ' 1064 00:54:51,068 --> 00:54:52,228 It's a movie, darling. 1065 00:54:52,370 --> 00:54:54,429 It's about an assistant who seems all sweet and innocent 1066 00:54:54,572 --> 00:54:57,234 but is really quite ambitious and ruthless. 1067 00:54:57,375 --> 00:54:58,433 You should rent it sometime. 1068 00:54:58,576 --> 00:54:59,941 Daphne, he was doing me a favour. 1069 00:55:00,077 --> 00:55:01,738 - I've seen it. - You have? 1070 00:55:01,879 --> 00:55:03,141 And what did you think? 1071 00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,441 I found it rather silly actually. 1072 00:55:05,583 --> 00:55:08,950 The idea that Bette Davis could be the victim of anyone is absurd. 1073 00:55:20,765 --> 00:55:22,232 Pick 4 and run it. 1074 00:55:31,676 --> 00:55:33,940 Oh my God, Paolo! You were amazing! 1075 00:55:34,078 --> 00:55:35,238 Thanks. So were you! 1076 00:55:35,379 --> 00:55:36,437 The way you handled Daphne! 1077 00:55:36,580 --> 00:55:39,140 I mean I knew you were talented, but I had no idea that under 1078 00:55:39,283 --> 00:55:43,447 that shy, sweet exterior was such steely confidence! 1079 00:55:43,587 --> 00:55:46,055 What other secrets are you keeping from me? 1080 00:55:47,291 --> 00:55:49,851 Actually, Jacks, I did want to talk to you about... 1081 00:55:49,994 --> 00:55:52,724 - Ah, Jacks! There you are! - James? 1082 00:55:52,863 --> 00:55:54,125 Hello, Darling! 1083 00:55:54,265 --> 00:55:55,630 Hello? 1084 00:55:55,766 --> 00:55:57,427 James, you remember Paolo? 1085 00:55:57,568 --> 00:55:58,933 Yes. Hello, Paolo? 1086 00:55:59,070 --> 00:55:59,934 James? 1087 00:56:00,071 --> 00:56:01,231 What are you doing here? 1088 00:56:01,372 --> 00:56:03,135 Well, actually, I was just having lunch across the street 1089 00:56:03,274 --> 00:56:05,139 and I came to tell you the good news in person. 1090 00:56:05,276 --> 00:56:06,038 What good news? 1091 00:56:06,177 --> 00:56:09,146 Peter is finally going to meet the love of his life! 1092 00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,248 - What? - David Williams is in town. 1093 00:56:11,382 --> 00:56:12,940 He's leading a special auction at Sotheby's. 1094 00:56:13,084 --> 00:56:14,051 And he and I were just having lunch together, 1095 00:56:14,185 --> 00:56:15,345 and I just happened to mention Peter's name. 1096 00:56:15,486 --> 00:56:18,455 And he suggested that we bring Peter to the auction tonight! 1097 00:56:18,589 --> 00:56:20,056 - He did? - Well, actually, I suggested it. 1098 00:56:20,191 --> 00:56:22,056 But he thinks it's a great idea! 1099 00:56:22,193 --> 00:56:24,753 So did I do good or did I do good? 1100 00:56:24,895 --> 00:56:26,328 You did great. 1101 00:56:28,666 --> 00:56:30,930 I should probably go. 1102 00:56:31,368 --> 00:56:34,826 Paolo, congratulations on today. 1103 00:56:36,874 --> 00:56:39,240 Tell Peter I wish him good luck with David. 1104 00:56:43,981 --> 00:56:45,141 Jacks? 1105 00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:47,243 What are you thinking? 1106 00:56:48,085 --> 00:56:51,054 I'm thinking about Peter and David living 1107 00:56:51,188 --> 00:56:52,849 happily ever after. 1108 00:56:58,395 --> 00:57:00,522 What if I've written the worst script ever? 1109 00:57:00,664 --> 00:57:02,325 What if everyone hates it? 1110 00:57:02,466 --> 00:57:05,435 Look, most great artists have to deal with rejection in their lifetime. 1111 00:57:05,569 --> 00:57:07,036 Yes, I'm not a great artist! 1112 00:57:07,171 --> 00:57:09,731 Look, I know I'm not some genius like Van Gogh. 1113 00:57:09,874 --> 00:57:11,933 Thank God. I like my men with 2 ears. 1114 00:57:12,076 --> 00:57:13,737 I'm, I'm being serious. 1115 00:57:13,878 --> 00:57:16,745 What if I'm not any good? What if I have no talent? 1116 00:57:16,881 --> 00:57:19,145 Are you asking if I'll still love you? 1117 00:57:20,284 --> 00:57:21,649 - Snap out of it will you? - What? 1118 00:57:22,186 --> 00:57:23,244 We're here. 1119 00:57:28,492 --> 00:57:30,050 There you are! You guys are late. 1120 00:57:30,194 --> 00:57:31,661 Fin, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. 1121 00:57:31,796 --> 00:57:33,024 It's an excellent idea. 1122 00:57:33,164 --> 00:57:34,529 He's perfect for you, Paul, darling! 1123 00:57:34,665 --> 00:57:37,133 Peter! His name is Peter! 1124 00:57:37,268 --> 00:57:38,929 You're about to meet the love of your life! 1125 00:57:39,069 --> 00:57:39,626 To the left! 1126 00:57:39,770 --> 00:57:41,237 There is no need to be so nasty to me 1127 00:57:41,372 --> 00:57:42,236 just because I don't remember people's names. 1128 00:57:42,373 --> 00:57:44,238 550 with you madam, thank you very much. 1129 00:57:44,375 --> 00:57:46,935 - That's him! - 580. Anything further on 580? 1130 00:57:47,077 --> 00:57:48,442 - I can't see him. - There! 1131 00:57:48,579 --> 00:57:50,638 I have �600,000. 1132 00:57:50,781 --> 00:57:52,248 Back to the telephone bank. 1133 00:57:52,383 --> 00:57:53,850 That's not him. That's not him! 1134 00:57:53,984 --> 00:57:55,246 - You're kidding? - No! 1135 00:57:55,386 --> 00:57:57,149 - That's David? - No! 1136 00:57:57,288 --> 00:57:57,947 - Are you sure? - Yes! 1137 00:57:58,088 --> 00:57:58,747 I have no idea! 1138 00:57:58,889 --> 00:58:01,153 Of course that's David! He's just cut his hair. 1139 00:58:01,292 --> 00:58:02,054 What hair? 1140 00:58:02,193 --> 00:58:03,353 He's got a lovely smile! 1141 00:58:03,494 --> 00:58:05,826 - He's just cut his hair! - And he's lost some weight. 1142 00:58:05,963 --> 00:58:08,227 - I don't think so, Fergus... - It's Finlay! 1143 00:58:08,365 --> 00:58:09,923 - What? - That is not him! OK? 1144 00:58:10,067 --> 00:58:12,433 That is not the man I bumped into at the Chancery Hotel. 1145 00:58:12,570 --> 00:58:13,832 That is not him! 1146 00:58:13,971 --> 00:58:15,632 Well, he's good enough! 1147 00:58:15,773 --> 00:58:17,536 Oh no! No, he's not good enough! 1148 00:58:17,675 --> 00:58:21,441 Because, that man right there, the real David Williams actually exists! 1149 00:58:21,579 --> 00:58:25,845 The real David Williams happens to be a living, breathing, 1150 00:58:25,983 --> 00:58:28,144 on-the-market gay man! 1151 00:58:45,469 --> 00:58:48,438 Morning, sunshine. How you feeling? 1152 00:58:48,572 --> 00:58:51,336 - Exhausted. You? - Fine. 1153 00:58:51,475 --> 00:58:54,035 I'm going to brunch with Finlay and the wrong David. 1154 00:58:54,178 --> 00:58:55,736 I'm so sorry. 1155 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,142 Sorry you outed a total stranger 1156 00:58:57,281 --> 00:58:59,044 or sorry it's the wrong total stranger? 1157 00:58:59,183 --> 00:59:00,150 Both. 1158 00:59:00,284 --> 00:59:01,444 I'm quite relieved, to be honest. 1159 00:59:01,585 --> 00:59:02,847 At least it's over and done with. 1160 00:59:03,787 --> 00:59:05,652 - You OK? - I'm fine. 1161 00:59:05,789 --> 00:59:08,952 I was just up most of the night thinking... 1162 00:59:09,093 --> 00:59:10,151 About? 1163 00:59:10,294 --> 00:59:13,821 Oh, love and other disasters. 1164 00:59:14,865 --> 00:59:16,730 - That must be Finlay. - Send him my love. 1165 00:59:16,867 --> 00:59:19,335 - I don't have to go to this thing. - Go! 1166 00:59:27,578 --> 00:59:28,636 I'll be right down. 1167 00:59:34,485 --> 00:59:36,851 - Morning. - Morning. 1168 00:59:37,788 --> 00:59:40,552 - Would you like some coffee? - No, thank you. 1169 00:59:42,393 --> 00:59:44,861 That's Peter, he must have forgotten his keys. 1170 00:59:46,163 --> 00:59:47,528 I'm going to take a bath. 1171 00:59:51,869 --> 00:59:53,234 Paolo, hi! 1172 00:59:53,370 --> 00:59:55,235 - Hi. - Are you OK? 1173 00:59:56,173 --> 00:59:58,539 Not really. I haven't slept all night. 1174 00:59:58,676 --> 01:00:00,644 Come in. Come in. 1175 01:00:01,979 --> 01:00:03,037 It's just... 1176 01:00:04,181 --> 01:00:06,149 I've been wanting to talk to you about the other night with Peter. 1177 01:00:06,283 --> 01:00:10,447 But it seems every time I'm about to, something or someone gets in the way. 1178 01:00:10,587 --> 01:00:11,645 I'm sorry. 1179 01:00:11,789 --> 01:00:14,553 No! It's not your fault. It's just... 1180 01:00:16,093 --> 01:00:19,426 - He's not here, is he? - No. No, he's out. 1181 01:00:19,563 --> 01:00:20,427 Good. 1182 01:00:20,564 --> 01:00:23,431 - I feel terrible. Why should you feel terrible? 1183 01:00:23,567 --> 01:00:25,728 I had no idea how you felt. 1184 01:00:27,871 --> 01:00:28,929 What the hell is going on? 1185 01:00:29,073 --> 01:00:31,132 - I don't believe it. - No, wait! 1186 01:00:31,275 --> 01:00:32,833 - I shouldn't have come. - Wait! 1187 01:00:32,977 --> 01:00:34,638 - James, what's wrong with you? - Nothing's wrong with me! 1188 01:00:34,778 --> 01:00:36,040 He needs to talk! What's your problem? 1189 01:00:36,180 --> 01:00:37,044 He's my problem! 1190 01:00:37,181 --> 01:00:39,342 Excuse me? Paolo! 1191 01:00:41,986 --> 01:00:44,045 I may not speak Spanish, but I'm not an idiot. 1192 01:00:44,188 --> 01:00:45,052 What are you talking about? 1193 01:00:45,189 --> 01:00:46,656 I'm talking about you and that bloody Paolo. 1194 01:00:46,790 --> 01:00:48,655 He was upset about Peter. He wanted to talk. 1195 01:00:48,792 --> 01:00:49,850 Bullshit! 1196 01:00:49,994 --> 01:00:51,461 - What? - I want him out of your life! 1197 01:00:51,595 --> 01:00:53,722 - Or else? - Or else we're through! 1198 01:00:53,864 --> 01:00:57,129 See. This is exactly why I don't want to be in a relationship with you! 1199 01:00:57,868 --> 01:00:59,335 Oh really? 1200 01:00:59,470 --> 01:01:01,233 Then what the hell is this? What the hell are we in? 1201 01:01:01,972 --> 01:01:03,030 I don't know. 1202 01:01:04,475 --> 01:01:06,340 This is just some sort of fucking game to you, isn't it? 1203 01:01:06,477 --> 01:01:07,034 What's a game? 1204 01:01:07,177 --> 01:01:09,645 This. We fuck and then you say you don't want a relationship. 1205 01:01:09,780 --> 01:01:11,839 - It's not a game. - Oh no? Then what is it? 1206 01:01:12,683 --> 01:01:13,741 It's... 1207 01:01:14,785 --> 01:01:15,547 It's the truth. 1208 01:01:15,686 --> 01:01:17,847 Bullshit! I don't believe it is the truth! 1209 01:01:17,988 --> 01:01:19,455 For the last six months you've been saying one thing 1210 01:01:19,590 --> 01:01:21,251 and then doing another. You've been playing me! 1211 01:01:21,392 --> 01:01:22,450 No! 1212 01:01:23,494 --> 01:01:24,859 But I am sorry. 1213 01:01:24,995 --> 01:01:26,223 What are you sorry about? 1214 01:01:27,064 --> 01:01:28,531 I didn't mean to hurt you! 1215 01:01:30,267 --> 01:01:32,030 Fucking condescending! 1216 01:01:32,169 --> 01:01:33,932 I didn't mean it like that. 1217 01:01:34,071 --> 01:01:36,631 I just... I want... 1218 01:01:36,774 --> 01:01:37,832 What do you want? 1219 01:01:39,877 --> 01:01:41,640 I want this to end. 1220 01:01:57,094 --> 01:01:59,528 So after all that, I'm not the one? 1221 01:01:59,663 --> 01:02:01,130 Bit of a relief, huh? 1222 01:02:01,265 --> 01:02:02,323 I suppose so. 1223 01:02:02,466 --> 01:02:03,831 You must have thought I was a stalker freak. 1224 01:02:03,967 --> 01:02:05,229 Thanks to my discreet friends. 1225 01:02:05,369 --> 01:02:06,233 We were just trying to help. 1226 01:02:06,370 --> 01:02:08,031 Yes, by making me out to be a desperate fantasist? 1227 01:02:08,172 --> 01:02:09,833 You are a desperate fantasist. 1228 01:02:09,973 --> 01:02:11,338 - No, I'm not actually. - He is. 1229 01:02:11,475 --> 01:02:13,943 I'm a fantasist, I'm not desperate. 1230 01:02:14,078 --> 01:02:16,046 Well, I suppose I'd never have lived up to your fantasy anyway. 1231 01:02:16,180 --> 01:02:18,341 Trust me, David. Nobody could. 1232 01:02:18,482 --> 01:02:20,541 - Tom! - Sorry, I'm late! 1233 01:02:22,286 --> 01:02:24,754 - Tom, this is Peter and Finlay. - Hey, Tom. I think we've met. 1234 01:02:24,888 --> 01:02:28,346 - Finlay! How have you been? - Great! And you? 1235 01:02:28,492 --> 01:02:30,460 Can't complain. Can't complain. 1236 01:02:30,594 --> 01:02:32,061 Finally out of the art world! 1237 01:02:32,196 --> 01:02:33,220 Tom's acting now. 1238 01:02:33,363 --> 01:02:34,625 - Acting? - Yeah, that's why I'm late. 1239 01:02:34,765 --> 01:02:36,426 Had an audition for a new drama at the BBC. 1240 01:02:36,567 --> 01:02:38,626 - How'd it go? - Good! Well, great actually. 1241 01:02:38,769 --> 01:02:41,738 I was so inside the character. You know? 1242 01:02:41,872 --> 01:02:42,930 And then they asked for a monologue 1243 01:02:43,073 --> 01:02:45,337 so I did that one from Streetcar which everyone loves. 1244 01:02:45,476 --> 01:02:48,445 The actress I was doing it with, she was hopeless. 1245 01:02:48,579 --> 01:02:49,546 I was doing my best... 1246 01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:50,738 Are you OK? 1247 01:02:52,382 --> 01:02:53,747 - That's him. - Who? 1248 01:02:53,884 --> 01:02:55,749 That's the guy I bumped into at the Hotel! 1249 01:02:55,886 --> 01:02:56,944 What? 1250 01:02:58,088 --> 01:02:58,747 Sorry. 1251 01:02:58,889 --> 01:03:02,655 Excuse me, I just need to use the loo, actually. 1252 01:03:02,793 --> 01:03:04,852 - Finlay? - Right! I'll just... 1253 01:03:05,596 --> 01:03:06,620 Give you a hand! 1254 01:03:09,867 --> 01:03:11,528 I can't believe you said 'I'll give you a hand! ' 1255 01:03:11,668 --> 01:03:12,930 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1256 01:03:13,070 --> 01:03:15,231 But listen, I think I know what happened! 1257 01:03:15,372 --> 01:03:17,431 Tom used to be David's assistant. 1258 01:03:17,574 --> 01:03:18,836 They both must have gone to the hotel, 1259 01:03:18,976 --> 01:03:20,739 but Tom arrived with the paintings on his own. 1260 01:03:20,878 --> 01:03:22,038 Which is when you bumped into him! 1261 01:03:22,179 --> 01:03:23,942 Great! So, now what do I do? 1262 01:03:24,581 --> 01:03:26,446 Well, I'd probably zip up. 1263 01:03:27,284 --> 01:03:28,751 Mustn't seem over-eager. 1264 01:03:29,987 --> 01:03:32,751 I can't believe you're cooking dinner for some guy you just met yesterday! 1265 01:03:32,890 --> 01:03:34,653 His name is Tom. You know what they say. 1266 01:03:34,791 --> 01:03:36,452 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' 1267 01:03:36,593 --> 01:03:37,958 Don't you think that's aiming a bit high? 1268 01:03:38,095 --> 01:03:39,824 Don't you think you should applaud my courage? 1269 01:03:39,963 --> 01:03:41,726 I would but my hands are full. 1270 01:03:42,065 --> 01:03:43,225 Anyway, I'm off. 1271 01:03:43,367 --> 01:03:44,629 Don't you at least want to meet Tom? 1272 01:03:44,768 --> 01:03:46,736 Why? I prefer Paolo. 1273 01:03:46,870 --> 01:03:49,031 Maybe that's something worth considering. 1274 01:03:49,173 --> 01:03:50,333 Little late for that. 1275 01:03:58,982 --> 01:04:00,745 I've been trying to call you since yesterday 1276 01:04:00,884 --> 01:04:02,249 but your mobile isn't working. 1277 01:04:02,386 --> 01:04:04,149 I, I ran out of credit. 1278 01:04:05,088 --> 01:04:07,352 - Can I come in? - Yeah, sure. 1279 01:04:08,292 --> 01:04:09,259 What are you doing? 1280 01:04:09,393 --> 01:04:11,861 I have to fly back to Argentina tomorrow. 1281 01:04:11,995 --> 01:04:14,327 - What? Why? - I don't belong here. 1282 01:04:14,464 --> 01:04:15,624 What are you talking about? 1283 01:04:15,766 --> 01:04:17,427 Your career's about to take off in London. 1284 01:04:17,568 --> 01:04:19,627 You have 4 pages in the new Vogue! 1285 01:04:19,770 --> 01:04:21,237 OK, I know how you feel about fashion. 1286 01:04:21,371 --> 01:04:22,030 And I agree with you! 1287 01:04:22,172 --> 01:04:23,935 But at least it'll pay the rent. While you do your own work. 1288 01:04:24,074 --> 01:04:27,840 And I've spoken to Finlay. And he wants to meet you. 1289 01:04:27,978 --> 01:04:30,242 Maybe put a show on at his gallery for you. 1290 01:04:30,380 --> 01:04:32,644 - You can'tjust go home now! - I'm being deported. 1291 01:04:33,884 --> 01:04:35,852 Immigration got a tip I was working here illegally. 1292 01:04:35,986 --> 01:04:38,955 - A tip? From who? - Does it matter? 1293 01:04:40,390 --> 01:04:41,448 James. 1294 01:04:42,192 --> 01:04:43,352 It was James. 1295 01:04:43,493 --> 01:04:44,755 We don't know that. 1296 01:04:47,064 --> 01:04:49,726 - You're not going. - Jacks, I don't have a choice. 1297 01:04:50,767 --> 01:04:52,234 Yes, you do. 1298 01:04:52,369 --> 01:04:53,529 You can marry me! 1299 01:04:56,873 --> 01:05:00,036 Jacks. I can't ask you to do that. 1300 01:05:00,177 --> 01:05:01,439 Then it's a good thing I'm asking! 1301 01:05:01,578 --> 01:05:04,547 Yes. And it's very kind of you. But... 1302 01:05:04,982 --> 01:05:06,643 It's not fair to you. 1303 01:05:07,784 --> 01:05:10,252 Look. I know you think I'm doing this out of guilt or pity. 1304 01:05:10,387 --> 01:05:11,445 But that's just not true. 1305 01:05:11,588 --> 01:05:14,148 I'm doing this because I want to. 1306 01:05:14,291 --> 01:05:16,851 Because I know that you're on the verge of fulfilling your dreams! 1307 01:05:16,994 --> 01:05:19,724 And if I could be a part of that, that would make me happy. 1308 01:05:19,863 --> 01:05:23,526 And I don't want you to go. So please. Marry me! 1309 01:05:26,570 --> 01:05:28,538 I don't know what to say. 1310 01:05:28,672 --> 01:05:32,631 Well, unless you want me to feel totally humiliated say yes. 1311 01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:39,943 I'm like, fuck that. I know I'm talented. 1312 01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:42,142 I don't need some RADA degree to tell me. 1313 01:05:42,286 --> 01:05:43,150 You know what I mean? 1314 01:05:43,787 --> 01:05:45,049 And besides, I'm not interested in 1315 01:05:45,188 --> 01:05:47,053 being some luvvie character actor. 1316 01:05:47,190 --> 01:05:49,658 I am a leading man, for fuck's sake. 1317 01:05:49,793 --> 01:05:52,159 So why waste my time studying during my peak years. 1318 01:05:52,296 --> 01:05:53,126 You know what I mean? 1319 01:05:54,364 --> 01:05:57,527 Yes, yes. Well, I, I think I do. 1320 01:05:57,668 --> 01:06:00,136 I mean sometimes studying can become a way of avoiding doing... 1321 01:06:00,270 --> 01:06:02,431 I'm just not sure whether I should cut my hair. 1322 01:06:03,273 --> 01:06:05,639 I mean, my agent thinks I should, but I think it's what makes me 1323 01:06:05,776 --> 01:06:07,437 distinctive. You know what I mean? 1324 01:06:08,178 --> 01:06:09,543 Yeah. I think I do. 1325 01:06:10,180 --> 01:06:12,148 So... you wanna go to bed? 1326 01:06:13,183 --> 01:06:13,740 What? 1327 01:06:13,884 --> 01:06:16,546 Do you want to go to bed? You know, have sex? 1328 01:06:16,687 --> 01:06:17,745 I... 1329 01:06:18,588 --> 01:06:20,556 I don't like wasting time when I know what I want. 1330 01:06:26,663 --> 01:06:28,221 Is everything OK? 1331 01:06:28,365 --> 01:06:31,425 Yes, I was just trying Peter, but he didn't answer. 1332 01:06:31,568 --> 01:06:34,230 Oh, you ordered me another drink. Thanks, Babies! 1333 01:06:34,371 --> 01:06:35,838 You're so thoughtful! 1334 01:06:38,175 --> 01:06:39,836 So what happened with you and James? 1335 01:06:39,976 --> 01:06:42,342 The same thing that happens with all straight men. 1336 01:06:42,479 --> 01:06:45,141 They pretend that they're fine with you having a career 1337 01:06:45,282 --> 01:06:46,146 and being independent. 1338 01:06:46,283 --> 01:06:49,741 But deep down, they resent it. Or they want to change it. 1339 01:06:49,886 --> 01:06:51,854 Well, not all straight men. 1340 01:06:51,988 --> 01:06:54,456 Trust me! All of them! 1341 01:06:54,591 --> 01:06:57,651 At the end of the day, all straight men just want one thing. 1342 01:06:57,794 --> 01:06:58,852 You know what that is? 1343 01:06:59,563 --> 01:07:00,825 Sex? 1344 01:07:00,964 --> 01:07:02,022 Control! 1345 01:07:02,165 --> 01:07:04,030 The problem with straight men is that no matter how hard 1346 01:07:04,167 --> 01:07:06,533 they try, they still need to control, to dominate. 1347 01:07:06,670 --> 01:07:08,137 Thank God you're gay! 1348 01:07:09,072 --> 01:07:10,630 - Jacks. - I mean think about it! 1349 01:07:10,774 --> 01:07:12,435 Why do you think we feel so comfortable together? 1350 01:07:12,576 --> 01:07:14,737 Because I know you're not trying to score. 1351 01:07:14,878 --> 01:07:18,041 Anyway. I'm through with straight men! 1352 01:07:18,181 --> 01:07:19,648 A toast! 1353 01:07:19,783 --> 01:07:22,251 No more straight men! 1354 01:07:22,386 --> 01:07:24,251 Good riddance I say! 1355 01:07:25,088 --> 01:07:27,955 And now, we have a very special dedication for Paolo. 1356 01:07:28,091 --> 01:07:30,753 Paolo, this one's from your future wife! 1357 01:07:38,068 --> 01:07:40,332 Happy Wedding, Babies! 1358 01:08:24,881 --> 01:08:28,749 I just remembered that Peter might have a boy at the house. 1359 01:08:28,885 --> 01:08:32,252 Can I stay at yours? Sunderland Terrace! 1360 01:08:36,493 --> 01:08:37,551 Thanks. 1361 01:08:43,667 --> 01:08:45,931 Oh my god, I just used your toothbrush. 1362 01:08:46,069 --> 01:08:47,331 No problem. 1363 01:08:47,471 --> 01:08:48,836 I think I'm drunk. 1364 01:08:50,674 --> 01:08:52,938 The room's sloshing. 1365 01:08:54,478 --> 01:08:56,446 You going to stand up all night? 1366 01:08:57,280 --> 01:08:59,748 - No. - Good. Come. 1367 01:09:02,285 --> 01:09:05,345 I think my parents would have really liked you. 1368 01:09:05,489 --> 01:09:12,827 You're so smart and kind and you're so really talented. 1369 01:09:13,763 --> 01:09:15,230 - Jacks! - I think you're exactly 1370 01:09:15,365 --> 01:09:17,629 the kind of person they would have wanted me to marry. 1371 01:09:17,767 --> 01:09:20,235 Well, not exactly. 1372 01:09:20,370 --> 01:09:23,032 But not in terms of what counts. 1373 01:09:25,375 --> 01:09:29,038 I know that I don't know you very well, 1374 01:09:29,179 --> 01:09:31,443 but I feel safe with you. 1375 01:09:31,581 --> 01:09:33,549 Is that crazy? 1376 01:09:33,683 --> 01:09:35,651 No. It's not crazy. 1377 01:09:36,486 --> 01:09:37,748 I trust you. 1378 01:09:39,189 --> 01:09:41,350 Jacks, I need to tell you something. 1379 01:09:41,491 --> 01:09:43,857 - Get into bed and tell me. - I can't. 1380 01:09:43,994 --> 01:09:46,827 I promise I won't make a pass. 1381 01:09:46,963 --> 01:09:49,932 - It's not you I'm worried about. - What, Paolo? 1382 01:10:04,281 --> 01:10:06,044 You're so drunk! 1383 01:10:30,974 --> 01:10:32,032 Tom. 1384 01:10:34,678 --> 01:10:37,442 Tom! It's time to get up. 1385 01:10:38,582 --> 01:10:41,244 - What time is it? - Almost 9. 1386 01:10:43,286 --> 01:10:44,548 You gotta go. 1387 01:10:45,689 --> 01:10:47,657 - Excuse me? - You gotta go. 1388 01:10:47,791 --> 01:10:50,760 I've got some friends coming over for brunch. 1389 01:10:52,295 --> 01:10:53,819 Tom, you're in my apartment. 1390 01:11:21,191 --> 01:11:22,852 Talullah, I can't get into it now. 1391 01:11:22,993 --> 01:11:24,654 Just meet me at the Registry. 1392 01:11:24,794 --> 01:11:27,126 I'm not getting married without a maid of honour. 1393 01:11:27,263 --> 01:11:30,630 No! Sweetie, you don't need to write a poem. 1394 01:11:31,668 --> 01:11:34,034 Look, I have to try Peter again. 1395 01:11:34,170 --> 01:11:36,035 He hasn't been answering the phone all night. 1396 01:11:36,673 --> 01:11:38,334 OK, bye. 1397 01:11:44,180 --> 01:11:45,943 - Hello? - Peter! Finally! 1398 01:11:46,082 --> 01:11:48,448 - Hi, Jacks. - I've been calling you all night! 1399 01:11:48,585 --> 01:11:50,553 I know, I'm sorry. I turned my phone off. 1400 01:11:50,687 --> 01:11:52,450 - Tim spend the night? - Tom! 1401 01:11:52,589 --> 01:11:55,558 - Whatever. - I agree. Reality crashes in. 1402 01:11:55,692 --> 01:11:58,058 I'm sorry, Babies. Now listen. 1403 01:11:58,194 --> 01:12:01,129 I need you to come down to the Islington Registry right away. 1404 01:12:01,264 --> 01:12:03,528 - I'm getting married. - What? Jacks! 1405 01:12:03,667 --> 01:12:05,225 I'll tell you everything when you get there. 1406 01:12:05,368 --> 01:12:07,836 I just managed to get a cancellation at 11 sharp. 1407 01:12:07,971 --> 01:12:08,835 That's in 20 minutes! 1408 01:12:08,972 --> 01:12:10,530 And I still need to buy a wedding outfit! 1409 01:12:10,674 --> 01:12:12,335 - Gotta run. Bye! - Oh, wait! 1410 01:12:13,576 --> 01:12:15,134 Oh, pull over right there! 1411 01:12:17,981 --> 01:12:19,039 I'll be right back! 1412 01:12:38,368 --> 01:12:39,835 Paolo! Thank God you're here! 1413 01:12:39,969 --> 01:12:41,129 - Have they called our names yet? - No. 1414 01:12:41,271 --> 01:12:45,230 Emily Jackson and Paolo Sar-mentio? 1415 01:12:55,085 --> 01:12:57,246 Are you all here for the Jackson wedding party? 1416 01:13:14,270 --> 01:13:15,931 If anyone knows why these two individuals before me 1417 01:13:16,072 --> 01:13:17,733 should not be married, let them speak now 1418 01:13:17,874 --> 01:13:18,841 or forever hold their peace. 1419 01:13:18,975 --> 01:13:21,341 - I'm not gay. - Excuse me? 1420 01:13:21,478 --> 01:13:22,536 I'm not gay! 1421 01:13:26,082 --> 01:13:28,141 Of course you're not gay! 1422 01:13:28,284 --> 01:13:31,048 He's not! Gay. I mean. 1423 01:13:32,388 --> 01:13:33,650 How nice for both of you. 1424 01:13:34,390 --> 01:13:36,153 Now, if there's any other reason why... 1425 01:13:36,292 --> 01:13:38,055 And I think I'm in love with you. 1426 01:13:38,194 --> 01:13:40,128 - What? - I mean, I'm in love with her. 1427 01:13:40,263 --> 01:13:41,924 - Paolo, what are you doing? - Telling the truth. 1428 01:13:42,065 --> 01:13:44,932 I'm not gay and I think I'm in love with you. 1429 01:13:45,068 --> 01:13:46,626 I know I should have said something before. 1430 01:13:46,770 --> 01:13:48,931 But every time when I started, it seemed like the wrong time. 1431 01:13:49,072 --> 01:13:52,633 Or maybe I didn't have the courage. 1432 01:13:52,776 --> 01:13:54,437 But then when you suggested getting married. 1433 01:13:54,577 --> 01:13:57,341 I just got swept up with the idea because I wanted more than 1434 01:13:57,480 --> 01:14:00,847 anything to stay. I wanted to stay with you. 1435 01:14:00,984 --> 01:14:03,145 I know I should have said something but... 1436 01:14:03,286 --> 01:14:06,653 But, What? You wanted to make a fool? Out of me first? 1437 01:14:06,790 --> 01:14:08,451 Jacks. You know that's not true. 1438 01:14:08,591 --> 01:14:10,559 I have no idea what's true! 1439 01:14:10,693 --> 01:14:13,423 - Oh, Jacks. - I trusted you! 1440 01:14:13,563 --> 01:14:16,532 I told you things. I was naked in your bed! 1441 01:14:16,666 --> 01:14:18,224 Did you know about this? 1442 01:14:19,068 --> 01:14:20,035 - Yes. - You? 1443 01:14:20,170 --> 01:14:21,137 - No! - I told you! 1444 01:14:21,271 --> 01:14:23,239 Yes! And now I've lied. 1445 01:14:24,274 --> 01:14:26,333 I can't believe I trusted any of you! 1446 01:14:27,877 --> 01:14:29,936 Jacks! Please... 1447 01:14:34,184 --> 01:14:35,242 Next. 1448 01:14:41,691 --> 01:14:43,955 - Go away! - I'm coming in. 1449 01:14:45,762 --> 01:14:48,026 I should be very mad at you. 1450 01:14:48,164 --> 01:14:49,131 I'm sorry. 1451 01:14:50,967 --> 01:14:53,527 I'm just so stupid! How could I be so stupid? 1452 01:14:53,670 --> 01:14:56,138 You're not stupid, you just saw what you wanted to see. 1453 01:14:56,272 --> 01:14:57,830 I can't believe I trusted him! 1454 01:14:57,974 --> 01:14:59,942 I can. He's a great guy. He deserves your trust. 1455 01:15:00,076 --> 01:15:01,236 Don't you dare defend him! 1456 01:15:01,377 --> 01:15:03,937 Look, all I'm saying is what's really changed about Paolo 1457 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,342 since he told you he was straight? 1458 01:15:05,481 --> 01:15:07,346 - Everything! - Yes, everything you're used to. 1459 01:15:07,483 --> 01:15:08,745 Everything you're comfortable with. 1460 01:15:08,885 --> 01:15:09,647 What's that supposed to mean? 1461 01:15:09,786 --> 01:15:11,754 Have you ever considered you didn't want to see 1462 01:15:11,888 --> 01:15:13,446 how Paolo really felt about you? 1463 01:15:13,590 --> 01:15:14,955 Because that would have meant breaking your rule. 1464 01:15:15,091 --> 01:15:16,649 - What rule? - To only have sex with people 1465 01:15:16,793 --> 01:15:20,126 you don't love and to only really love people you don't have sex with. 1466 01:15:21,064 --> 01:15:22,429 - That's not true. - Yes, it is. 1467 01:15:22,565 --> 01:15:25,432 Because that way you know you can't really get hurt. 1468 01:15:26,569 --> 01:15:29,834 Look, Paolo hasn't changed. He's still the same person. 1469 01:15:29,973 --> 01:15:32,533 He's still the same person you know and believe in. 1470 01:15:32,675 --> 01:15:36,338 And think is kind and smart and sweet and bloody sexy. 1471 01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:40,740 The only thing that's changed is what might happen between you. 1472 01:15:45,288 --> 01:15:46,755 And he can tango! 1473 01:15:57,467 --> 01:15:59,025 God, babies. You were so right! 1474 01:15:59,168 --> 01:16:01,830 I mean when I think about it now, he tried to tell me so many times. 1475 01:16:01,971 --> 01:16:04,132 And I just wouldn't let him. I didn't want to hear it. 1476 01:16:04,274 --> 01:16:05,935 I didn't want to see it! I was so blind! 1477 01:16:06,075 --> 01:16:07,133 Watch out! 1478 01:16:12,181 --> 01:16:14,741 - What time is it? - 5:30. What time's his flight? 1479 01:16:14,884 --> 01:16:16,647 6! Hold on, babies. 1480 01:16:41,277 --> 01:16:43,040 - Ticket? - Oh, I'm not flying. 1481 01:16:43,179 --> 01:16:44,737 Only ticketed passengers past this point. 1482 01:16:44,881 --> 01:16:46,542 Yes, but I need to speak to someone on the BA flight 1483 01:16:46,683 --> 01:16:48,344 to Buenos Aires. It's an emergency! 1484 01:16:48,484 --> 01:16:50,145 Try the BA's customer service counter. 1485 01:16:50,286 --> 01:16:52,550 - They can call the gate. - You're a genius! 1486 01:16:54,891 --> 01:16:57,359 I have an emergency message for someone on your flight to Buenos Aires. 1487 01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:59,427 Flight to Buenos Aires? 1488 01:17:02,565 --> 01:17:05,728 I'm sorry but that flight's already pulled out of the gate. 1489 01:17:05,868 --> 01:17:07,529 It had an early departure. 1490 01:17:07,670 --> 01:17:09,331 An early departure? 1491 01:17:13,876 --> 01:17:16,640 An early departure? What are the chances of that? 1492 01:17:16,779 --> 01:17:19,748 If this was a movie, there wouldn't be an early departure. 1493 01:17:20,883 --> 01:17:23,443 If this was a movie, you'd be blonde! 1494 01:17:23,586 --> 01:17:25,747 If this was a movie, you'd be famous! 1495 01:17:26,589 --> 01:17:29,057 That's the problem with life, it's nothing like the movies. 1496 01:17:33,863 --> 01:17:35,626 I can't believe you're really going. 1497 01:17:35,765 --> 01:17:37,733 I'm following your advice. I'm breaking my rules. 1498 01:17:37,867 --> 01:17:38,925 Good for you! 1499 01:17:39,068 --> 01:17:40,330 Are you sure you're going to be OK? 1500 01:17:40,470 --> 01:17:42,836 Jacks! I'm not a child, I'll be fine. 1501 01:17:42,972 --> 01:17:45,031 - I worry about you, Babies. - You worry about everyone. 1502 01:17:45,174 --> 01:17:47,039 No, I worry about you more. 1503 01:17:47,176 --> 01:17:48,734 I just don't want you to end up alone. 1504 01:17:48,878 --> 01:17:51,938 Well, neither do I. And stop being so dramatic! 1505 01:17:52,081 --> 01:17:54,549 So stop living your life like you're in some kind of movie. 1506 01:17:54,684 --> 01:17:55,651 Excuse me? 1507 01:17:55,785 --> 01:17:58,447 Stop trying to cast your true love instead ofjust meeting him. 1508 01:17:58,588 --> 01:18:00,954 - When I meet him, I'll know. - I'm not so sure. 1509 01:18:01,090 --> 01:18:02,853 Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? 1510 01:18:02,992 --> 01:18:05,051 Maybe sometimes it's just a choice. 1511 01:18:05,194 --> 01:18:06,218 Well, that's easy for you to say! 1512 01:18:06,362 --> 01:18:08,523 You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life! 1513 01:18:08,664 --> 01:18:11,224 That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life' 1514 01:18:11,367 --> 01:18:13,631 but I've decided to give him the chance to be. 1515 01:18:15,271 --> 01:18:16,829 Maybe true love is a decision. 1516 01:18:16,973 --> 01:18:19,134 You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. 1517 01:18:19,275 --> 01:18:20,640 To give to somebody. Without worrying whether 1518 01:18:20,777 --> 01:18:22,335 they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, 1519 01:18:22,478 --> 01:18:24,241 or if they really are the one. 1520 01:18:24,380 --> 01:18:27,349 Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. 1521 01:18:27,483 --> 01:18:29,849 Maybe it's something you have to choose. 1522 01:18:29,986 --> 01:18:31,146 So what do I do? 1523 01:18:31,287 --> 01:18:33,448 Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies of 1524 01:18:33,589 --> 01:18:37,150 true love where they belong into your work of fiction. 1525 01:19:01,184 --> 01:19:02,549 'Love and Other Disasters.' 1526 01:19:02,685 --> 01:19:04,152 Nice title. Catchy. 1527 01:19:04,287 --> 01:19:08,155 But it'll never fit on the marquee. How aboutjust 'Love Disasters? ' 1528 01:19:08,291 --> 01:19:09,451 What? 1529 01:19:09,592 --> 01:19:10,957 I love that Jacks. 1530 01:19:11,094 --> 01:19:13,722 She's got that British quirkiness audiences love. 1531 01:19:13,863 --> 01:19:15,023 'Hello, Babies! ' 1532 01:19:15,164 --> 01:19:17,530 Yes, but technically she speaks with an American accent 1533 01:19:17,667 --> 01:19:18,725 because she's grown up in America so... 1534 01:19:18,868 --> 01:19:21,132 Nah, it's too complicated. Let's make her English. 1535 01:19:21,270 --> 01:19:23,534 - Perfect part for Gwyneth! - Gwyneth Paltrow? 1536 01:19:23,673 --> 01:19:26,039 Finest English actress of her generation! 1537 01:19:27,577 --> 01:19:30,137 Brainstorm! Orlando Bloom as the Mexican. 1538 01:19:30,279 --> 01:19:31,337 Paolo's Argentinean! 1539 01:19:31,481 --> 01:19:34,848 And we'll cover the American angle with Drew and Cameron. 1540 01:19:34,984 --> 01:19:37,544 Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz? As who? 1541 01:19:37,687 --> 01:19:38,949 Playing David and Tom. 1542 01:19:39,689 --> 01:19:41,657 I'm sorry, you want me to get rid of the gay story line? 1543 01:19:41,791 --> 01:19:42,655 I don't want you to get rid of anything! 1544 01:19:42,792 --> 01:19:44,953 I'm just saying instead of David and Tom, 1545 01:19:45,094 --> 01:19:46,618 we have Daisy and Tina. 1546 01:19:47,263 --> 01:19:48,730 - I... - Also, you gotta fiddle with that ending. 1547 01:19:48,865 --> 01:19:52,733 We need a bigger movie moment when Jacks finally connects 1548 01:19:52,869 --> 01:19:54,530 - with Paolo. - Yes, but... 1549 01:19:55,171 --> 01:19:57,639 Sorry, the whole point is there is no big movie moment 1550 01:19:57,773 --> 01:19:59,832 because they both discover that true love is a process 1551 01:19:59,976 --> 01:20:01,238 not an event. 1552 01:20:02,778 --> 01:20:04,643 You know, Peter. I get it. 1553 01:20:04,780 --> 01:20:07,647 This script is like your baby, isn't it? 1554 01:20:09,385 --> 01:20:11,250 Well, yes, I suppose it is... 1555 01:20:11,787 --> 01:20:14,847 I understand that. Believe me, I understand that. 1556 01:20:15,591 --> 01:20:16,649 Come here. 1557 01:20:17,393 --> 01:20:19,327 I want to give you some advice! 1558 01:20:20,663 --> 01:20:24,429 You gotta kill your baby! You gotta fuckin' kill your baby! 1559 01:20:27,069 --> 01:20:29,629 Right. Thank you. Thank you. 1560 01:20:38,781 --> 01:20:39,748 Sorry. 1561 01:20:39,882 --> 01:20:41,543 - Peter! - David! Hi! 1562 01:20:41,684 --> 01:20:44,847 - How are you? - Good, good. You? 1563 01:20:44,987 --> 01:20:47,046 Great, I've managed to convince Sotheby's to transfer me 1564 01:20:47,190 --> 01:20:49,658 back to London. How's the writing going? 1565 01:20:49,792 --> 01:20:52,420 Good, thanks, I've finally finished a screenplay. 1566 01:20:52,562 --> 01:20:54,120 Great! What's it about? 1567 01:20:54,263 --> 01:20:56,731 Oh, it's just about some guy who realizes he's been 1568 01:20:56,866 --> 01:20:58,731 looking for love in all the wrong places. 1569 01:20:58,868 --> 01:21:01,632 - Like in hotel lobbies? - Yes, or in his head. 1570 01:21:02,371 --> 01:21:04,532 - Well, congratulations! - Thank you, thank you. 1571 01:21:04,674 --> 01:21:06,232 You may want to wait until you've seen the film. 1572 01:21:06,375 --> 01:21:10,038 I don't need to. I'm congratulating you for having the courage to write it. 1573 01:21:10,179 --> 01:21:14,138 How it turns out or even if it turns out that's out of your hands. 1574 01:21:15,084 --> 01:21:18,952 - Anyway, take care. - Yes. You, too. 1575 01:21:33,169 --> 01:21:35,137 It's on the left when we get out. 1576 01:22:04,567 --> 01:22:05,625 David! 1577 01:22:07,870 --> 01:22:08,928 Peter? 1578 01:22:09,672 --> 01:22:10,639 Are you OK? 1579 01:22:10,773 --> 01:22:12,934 No. Actually, I'm very out of shape and that nearly killed me. 1580 01:22:13,075 --> 01:22:15,737 But I needed to tell you two things. 1581 01:22:16,379 --> 01:22:19,940 First, I'm really sorry I was so self-absorbed 1582 01:22:20,082 --> 01:22:21,640 when I first met you at brunch. 1583 01:22:21,784 --> 01:22:23,149 You don't have to apologize to me. 1584 01:22:23,286 --> 01:22:26,050 Oh, no, I'm not apologizing to you. I'm sorry for my own sake. 1585 01:22:26,188 --> 01:22:28,952 You see, I was so caught up in my own head. 1586 01:22:29,091 --> 01:22:31,355 I missed out on getting to know you. 1587 01:22:31,494 --> 01:22:35,624 And I would like to get to know you. 1588 01:22:35,765 --> 01:22:38,427 I mean if you'd be willing to give me another chance? 1589 01:22:38,567 --> 01:22:43,129 Maybe let me take you out for dinner? 1590 01:22:45,675 --> 01:22:46,733 Oh, I don't know. 1591 01:22:47,576 --> 01:22:51,034 See, I've had this fantasy in my head about having dinner with you. 1592 01:22:51,881 --> 01:22:53,246 What if you don't live up to it? 1593 01:22:58,487 --> 01:23:02,150 Oh well, then I'd just have to keep taking you out 1594 01:23:02,291 --> 01:23:03,849 until I get it right. 1595 01:23:07,263 --> 01:23:08,628 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1596 01:23:08,764 --> 01:23:10,629 - French or Italian? - I think Italian. 1597 01:23:10,766 --> 01:23:11,824 Good. 1598 01:23:32,788 --> 01:23:33,846 Paolo! 1599 01:23:35,191 --> 01:23:36,249 Jacks! 1600 01:23:56,379 --> 01:23:58,745 Paolo, I've been such a bloody fool! 1601 01:23:58,881 --> 01:24:00,246 Can you ever forgive me? 1602 01:24:00,783 --> 01:24:04,742 Love means always forgiving. 1603 01:24:05,588 --> 01:24:08,648 And I do love you, Paolo! I do! 1604 01:24:18,868 --> 01:24:21,029 They made me write that ending. 1605 01:24:21,170 --> 01:24:23,434 Apparently, audiences demanded that Jacks and Paolo have 1606 01:24:23,572 --> 01:24:25,540 this big Hollywood moment. 1607 01:24:25,674 --> 01:24:27,437 I loved that ending. 1608 01:24:28,878 --> 01:24:31,244 How can you love that ending? It's so artificial! 1609 01:24:31,380 --> 01:24:33,143 It's a lot better than what really happened! 1610 01:24:33,282 --> 01:24:35,341 I agree, I don't think having Jacks arrive in Argentina 1611 01:24:35,484 --> 01:24:38,146 with a bad case of diarrhoea would have had the same impact. 1612 01:24:38,287 --> 01:24:39,652 I loved how I came across. 1613 01:24:39,789 --> 01:24:41,654 You were played by Drew Barrymore! 1614 01:24:41,791 --> 01:24:44,055 Who totally captured my essence. 1615 01:24:44,193 --> 01:24:46,627 Name was absolutely brilliant in that. 1616 01:24:48,164 --> 01:24:50,928 Well, I don't like to brag but I really think I stole the movie! 1617 01:24:51,066 --> 01:24:54,433 I mean, I was funny. Touching. Eccentric. Real. 1618 01:24:54,570 --> 01:24:56,731 If a little old for the part. 1619 01:24:56,872 --> 01:24:59,033 And I have to applaud your decision not to show me ending up with James. 1620 01:24:59,175 --> 01:25:00,642 Why? Are you ashamed of our relationship? 1621 01:25:00,776 --> 01:25:01,538 No, of course not, darling. 1622 01:25:01,677 --> 01:25:02,735 It's just that you were the villain 1623 01:25:02,878 --> 01:25:05,039 and itjust wouldn't have felt very believable. 1624 01:25:05,181 --> 01:25:07,649 - What a clever boy you are! - Thank you. 1625 01:25:07,783 --> 01:25:10,343 Making Talullah and her mother look the same age! 1626 01:25:10,486 --> 01:25:12,545 That's very modern, Paul! 1627 01:25:12,688 --> 01:25:14,747 I'm so sorry! My shoot went over! 1628 01:25:14,890 --> 01:25:16,357 You just missed the story of our lives. 1629 01:25:16,492 --> 01:25:17,550 But with better lighting! 1630 01:25:17,693 --> 01:25:20,321 Everyone knows I wasn't the one who reported Paolo to immigration, right? 1631 01:25:20,463 --> 01:25:21,122 Yes, darling, we know. 1632 01:25:21,263 --> 01:25:22,321 Well, I think this calls for champagne! 1633 01:25:22,465 --> 01:25:25,025 Oh, right! Claridge's, turn left! 1634 01:25:34,677 --> 01:25:36,542 - Babies, what's wrong? - Nothing. 1635 01:25:36,679 --> 01:25:39,443 You wrote a screenplay. And they made a movie out of it! 1636 01:25:39,582 --> 01:25:41,846 I know and I should be grateful. Look, I'm very lucky. 1637 01:25:41,984 --> 01:25:44,043 It's just... I don't know. 1638 01:25:44,186 --> 01:25:46,347 I just wanted to tell the truth and somewhere along the line 1639 01:25:46,489 --> 01:25:47,649 it got mixed up with a bunch of lies. 1640 01:25:47,790 --> 01:25:51,749 Nobody goes to the movies for truth except possibly the French! 1641 01:25:51,894 --> 01:25:54,829 The truth is way too complicated. And unsatisfying. 1642 01:25:54,964 --> 01:25:56,431 And hard to believe. 1643 01:25:57,366 --> 01:25:58,731 - Oh, my God! - What? 1644 01:25:58,868 --> 01:26:00,631 - I think my waterjust broke. - What? 1645 01:26:00,769 --> 01:26:04,432 I know, it's impossible, right? I'm not due for another 3 weeks! 1646 01:26:05,574 --> 01:26:07,633 Paolo! Paolo! She's having the baby now! 1647 01:26:07,776 --> 01:26:10,244 Call an ambulance! Call a taxi! 125564

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