subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for High.Spirits.1988.720p.BluRay.x264-PSYCHD

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified) Download

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian Download

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,288 Mr. Brogan! 2 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,749 I assume you called in regard to the mortgage payment on Castle Plunkett... 3 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:03,151 unfortunately still delayed by what seems to be our endless postal strike. 4 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,969 Dear sir, I must once again remind you my first name is not Dick... 5 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,722 nor is my last name Face. 6 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:15,952 It is simply Peter, Peter Plunkett. 7 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,146 No, I was not given a middle name, but had I been... 8 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,482 I feel certain my mother would not have chosen... 9 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:25,837 "Low-life Shit-for-brains Peckerhead." 10 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,781 Well, you obviously know a side of Mother I have been happily sheltered from. 11 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,534 Nevertheless, I marvel at your colorfully creative... 12 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,286 ever-so-American colloquialisms... 13 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,890 which flow so trippingly from your razor-like tongue. 14 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,919 The hotel is in tiptop condition. 15 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,922 The renovations are proceeding at a... What? 16 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:48,634 - Why shouldn't I bother? - Peter, who are you calling? 17 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:52,409 Oh, Mother, will you please get off the line? 18 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,725 Turning the castle into a theme park? 19 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,919 Irish World? 20 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:04,608 Gee, what an interesting notion. In... In Malibu? 21 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,211 What is Malibu? 22 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,322 I see. You want to move the castle to Malibu... 23 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:15,077 which I am to presume lies on the western corner of those United States. 24 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,246 Mr. Brogan, if I cannot send your payment... 25 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:20,749 how on earth do you expect to transport an entire castle across the sea? 26 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,210 The number of stamps alone is mind-boggling! 27 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:27,172 Well, I can assure you, Mr. Brogan, that if it goes on much longer... 28 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,175 I will take this check, which I am holding in my hand... 29 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,845 And personally ferry it across the water to England and mail it to you myself. 30 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,764 That's how much I care. 31 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,267 What postal strike? 32 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,916 Shut up, Mother! 33 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,900 I don't think that kind of language is necessary, Mr. Brogan. 34 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,298 Understandable, but... 35 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:56,952 So, what you are saying is that... 36 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,289 if I don't come up with the money in three weeks... 37 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:05,486 you will foreclose and take over Castle Plunkett. 38 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,359 I see. 39 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,702 Have you heard of the quality of mercy, Mr. Brogan? 40 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,638 No? 41 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,766 You haven't read your Shakespeare, Mr. Brogan. 42 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,709 Goodbye. 43 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,364 Oh, there you are! 44 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,075 Taking the easy way out, you naughty boy! 45 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:40,662 Mother, this is not easy. It is very, very difficult. 46 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:45,083 Just because you haven't got a guest in the place, you're in hock to that fellow Brogan. 47 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,337 Your father's so worried he's tearing his hair out! 48 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:51,006 Mother, Father has been dead for a decade! 49 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,593 And what about your grandmother, how do you think she feels? 50 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,639 - Mother, Grandmother is dead, too! - She's still upset. 51 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:03,268 Oh, very well. I apologize profoundly to the ghosts of my ancestors... 52 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:07,356 for making a mess of their ancestral home. 53 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:11,006 - Hold that. - I'm not going to help you. 54 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,220 Mother? 55 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:19,034 How many ghosts are there here? 56 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,477 Well... 57 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:25,415 there's Great Auntie Nan and Uncle Toby... 58 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,502 and that nice Elizabethan lady... 59 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:32,631 and the nun who was walled into the closet... 60 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:36,551 and Oliver's bastard, who never came out of the library. 61 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,970 - Mother? - What, darling? 62 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,914 - What a wonderful idea. - What, darling? 63 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,018 Ghosts. 64 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,917 - Ghosts? - Ghosts. 65 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:53,134 A wonderful tourist attraction. 66 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,863 Ghosts... Ghosts... 67 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,432 Katie! Katie! 68 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,345 Katie, take this down! 69 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:09,209 Castle Plunkett! The superbly restored edifice... 70 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:14,965 in the heart of that incomparably beautiful Irish countryside... 71 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:20,804 also known to be the most haunted place on the Emerald Isle! 72 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:24,307 Here the dead outnumber the living! 73 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:29,396 This castle contains more ghouls, ghosties, long-leggedy beasties... 74 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,191 and things that go bump in the night than on any other place... 75 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:38,196 on this revolving, revolting, maggot-spinning Earth! 76 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:46,037 We can promise you banshees, pookas, ghouls of all descriptions! 77 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:49,061 The one thing we won't promise is a good night's sleep! 78 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,377 But there are no bloody ghosts here. 79 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:56,573 I know, but there will be! We'll invent them! 80 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,844 Yes, Mr. Wilson. 81 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,765 The accommodations are strictly modern, in so far as renovations... 82 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,726 have been consistent with maintaining the ectoplasmic ambiance... 83 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,669 of Castle Plunkett and environs. 84 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,715 Illusion. 85 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,276 Like you, Katie, for instance. 86 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:23,784 You high on a wire would be magnificent as a flying banshee! 87 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:28,663 A little dry rot, selective damp, some fungus here and there. 88 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:33,043 Ghosts need such things to exist. Thank you. 89 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:38,006 Patricia. Patricia. You could be a mermaid... 90 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,154 or Lady Godiva. 91 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,392 - Anybody dead down there? - Only the corpse, Eamon. 92 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,520 What the shagging hell are you doing up there? 93 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:56,376 Genius, bud, pure genius. Just you wait till they see it. 94 00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,133 The bloody hand to the front. 95 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,098 And the bloody feet at the rear. 96 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:12,499 Look, what in the name of God is that? We're not doing "The African Queen". 97 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:16,194 Would you get me the shagging fish I asked you for? 98 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,511 Smile, Katie, smile! 99 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,472 You have to smile. The Americans are coming tomorrow. 100 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,851 Now, Eamon, you little genius, one more time. 101 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,545 Ready, steady, go! 102 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,995 Jack, what are you doing? 103 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:54,833 It's a little champagne. To us, to Ireland... 104 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:57,586 your homeland, Loch Ness monster, guys in skirts... 105 00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,030 That's Scotland, Jack. 106 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,775 I knew that... I knew that. 107 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,345 Oh, Christ! 108 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,514 - I got it, honey. - Oh, Jack. I've just taken two Valium... 109 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,516 - and now you drown me in champagne. - I got it. I got it. 110 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,143 No. No. 111 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,793 God, next thing you know you'll want to have sex. 112 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,750 Ma'am? 113 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,210 - Want champagne? - No. 114 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,063 I suppose sex is out of the question? 115 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,973 I think I should be the tart on the horse and you should be the hag in the tree. 116 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,559 I think I should go home. 117 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,208 Just give me the hair back. 118 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,310 Bon voyage! 119 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,393 On our left we have the Haughlin Bog... 120 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,521 home to more grisly and gruesome murders... 121 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,190 than any comparable spot in the universe. 122 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:47,028 The fierce, fighting O'Flahertys would pile down from the Knockmealdown Mountains... 123 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:51,032 and pillage and rape women and children, nuns and priests... 124 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,284 - We have children here. - ...even Christian brothers and... 125 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:57,264 God help us all, the occasional sheep or goat. 126 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,876 Now here, within the confines of Castle Plunkett itself... 127 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,840 we come to the infamous Wailing Willow, from which the Brogan Banshee... 128 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,136 angis reputed to wail and howl from time to time. 129 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,722 They're coming, Katie, they're coming! 130 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:18,101 - Get ready to show them all you have! - Scare the Jesus out of them. 131 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:22,731 Howl, Katie, howl! Go on, howl like a banshee! 132 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,675 Frighten the life out of them! Wave your arms! 133 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,890 Oh, Jesus! 134 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,352 Katie! 135 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,645 Stop the bus! 136 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,377 Help me! 137 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,171 - Driver! - Driver! 138 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,524 Help me! 139 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:53,928 - There's a lady on the luggage rack! - I'm not a lady! I'm a banshee! 140 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,097 Well, there's a banshee on the luggage rack! 141 00:10:56,197 --> 00:11:03,730 The banshee's howling brings forth the restless spirit of Lady Amelia Purefroy... 142 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:08,711 risen from her grave, riding naked on her magical mount! 143 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,554 Hands and heels out, Patricia! 144 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,556 Someone help me! Help! 145 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,068 Awesome! 146 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,992 Oh, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy! 147 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,670 The things I do for you! 148 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,156 Deeply appreciated. 149 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,850 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 150 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,171 Oh, my God, I'm drowning! 151 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,508 - I can't swim! Help my son! - Are you all right? 152 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:18,972 - Don't panic, don't panic! - What do you mean, "Don't panic"? 153 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,641 Yes, I mean don't panic! 154 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,496 - Oh, shut up! - She's amphibious, or so I'm told. 155 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,311 Jesus Christ! This is the end of the world. 156 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:49,043 Best foot forward, Katie. 157 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:52,422 Welcome to Castle Plunkett! 158 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,401 You are most heartily welcome! 159 00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,889 Ladies, gentlemen, children... 160 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:05,085 you appear to be a trifle moist. May I? 161 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:19,616 Good evening, boys, young lady. Mr. Crawford, Mrs. Crawford, Mrs. Clay. 162 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:23,244 Mr. Plunkett, what is this Whiting Anglais? 163 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,289 Oh, that would be a lovely whiting with breadcrumbs. 164 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:29,918 - And the Whiting a Nature? - Boiled whiting. 165 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,462 So, what's the Whiting Vapeur stuff? 166 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,340 That, my dear young one, would be whiting steamed. 167 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,614 And what is this? Whiting Bordeaux? 168 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,096 Very witty, Mr. Clay, very witty. 169 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,225 Okay, Mom, you got us here. Now, where are these ghosts? 170 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,645 - Come on, I want to see one now. - Boys! 171 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,233 - I'm afraid there are no ghosts here. - Oh, a cynic, Mr. Clay. 172 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:57,487 No, a parapsychologist, Mr. Plunkett. 173 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,781 Duke University. 174 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:03,576 - A para what? - A parapsychologist, an expert in ghosts. 175 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,055 Give the parapsychologist a drink, Katie. 176 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,301 Whiting bisque, madam? 177 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,074 Thank you. 178 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:30,245 And for you, Father, the whiting bisque? 179 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:35,525 So, I was seeing this guy and he's a devil worshipper, right? 180 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,821 Well, he's a hairdresser, really, but he devil worships on the side. 181 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,031 And we booked this dumb tour 'cause, you know... 182 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:46,077 he likes ghosts, corpses, dead gerbils, that kind of thing. 183 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:49,080 And he ran off with this Buddhist monk. 184 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:52,901 I mean, how was I supposed to know he was gay? 185 00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:58,565 - So what about you? Are you gay, too? - No, I'm not. 186 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:03,177 - But I'm chaste. - Just kidding, trick question. 187 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,888 So, what are you doing here? 188 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,975 Well, I thought I'd take a vacation here in the... 189 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,728 in the Isle of Saints, before I take my final vows. 190 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:15,148 A sort of spiritual treat... Retreat. 191 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:19,110 Yeah, well, I've kind of taken a vow myself. 192 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:24,157 I've sworn off men, for a while at least. 193 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:28,494 - But you're not a priest yet? - No, not yet. 194 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:32,724 Well, here's to keeping our vows. 195 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,656 Mr. Plunkett. 196 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,539 Who's that? 197 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,788 Mary Plunkett. 198 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,797 My great-great-great-great-great great-grand cousin. 199 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:04,364 She died right here, in Castle Plunkett, 200 years ago. 200 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:09,077 - She couldn't take the whiting, either? - Levity is out of place, Mrs. Crawford. 201 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,455 She was murdered on her wedding night... 202 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:16,150 by the hand of her newly wedded husband. 203 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:48,133 Why don't I just give you both, here? I'll get the change later. 204 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,474 - Lovely music. - Shut up! 205 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,573 Honey, everybody's singing. 206 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,926 - Jack. - It's beautiful. 207 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,600 It's beautiful. It's beautiful. 208 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,559 Wonderful, wonderful! 209 00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:02,273 The full moon has risen above Haughlin Bog. 210 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:06,819 Those of you with nervous dispositions would do well to protect yourselves. 211 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,989 Lock your windows. Bolt your doors! 212 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,782 Say your prayers. 213 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,161 For tonight, they may be walking abroad... 214 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:19,516 the cluricanes, the banshees and the pookas. 215 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,353 Goodnight. Sleep well, if you can... 216 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,405 if you dare. 217 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,488 Lights. 218 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,887 Where did they all go? 219 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,457 Don't ask. They might come back. 220 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,103 Well, if there are any ghosts in this castle... 221 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,898 I hope to God they put on a better show than this one. 222 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,067 It was pretty scary, huh, kids? 223 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,236 Didn't you see Nightmare on Elm Street? 224 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,134 Give me a break... 225 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,059 Scared the shit out of me. 226 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,912 Right. Phase two. 227 00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:02,188 Katie, banshee time. Julia, where's me bandages? 228 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,380 Because it's hard to get a significant CR reading... 229 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,634 when there's no observed deviation to be measured. 230 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:14,929 I'm afraid that this is going to be the most pitiful scam that... 231 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:19,267 - I've ever had the pleasure of exposing. - There's not even a dress hanger in this dump. 232 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,040 Malky! 233 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:25,582 Get me the nightie you bought me at the duty-free. 234 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,792 Honey? 235 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,824 Oh, thanks, bugbear. 236 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,534 Oh, take this, would you? 237 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:40,955 Expected random fluctuations of the standard deviation... 238 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:45,084 would need to exceed 2.33 for it to be conceived as significant. 239 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,503 Here we have a very impressive sight indeed. 240 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:51,799 It's the winning Hereford bull, owned by Mr. Linchum Topper Curry... 241 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:56,262 and he is won the competition for the third year in a row. 242 00:19:56,362 --> 00:20:00,766 Mind you, the competition we saw today was of a very high quality indeed... 243 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,395 and the judges had a very difficult task. 244 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:08,482 Of course, these days the judges emphasize grooming... 245 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:12,028 - whether it be bull or calf. - Oh, my God! 246 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,696 Major jet lag. 247 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,948 ...if you take a walk around the stalls this morning... 248 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,452 whether it be heifers or bulls... 249 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,579 Excuse me? 250 00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:24,307 I don't believe in ghosts... 251 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,836 Oh, wait... 252 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:33,191 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Calm down, Miranda. 253 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,824 You can stop it now because, really, I'm not scared! 254 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,408 Oh, no. 255 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,363 Well, I've got you, Katie. Calm down. 256 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:59,617 One more time now, Katie, and give the window a little tap. 257 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:03,221 - Tap it yourself. - Away, Little John! 258 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,480 Turn and look at me, you bastard! 259 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,522 Okay, you guys. 260 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:33,067 If you aren't in bed in three seconds, you are grounded! 261 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:36,888 - But we haven't seen a ghost yet. - And I'm not whistling Dixie. 262 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,717 Help me! Help! 263 00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:01,071 Please, somebody help me! 264 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:03,431 Where's he going? 265 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:08,769 - Help me! Help! - All right! All right, I'm coming! 266 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:10,938 Brother Tony, you have to help me! 267 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,774 - Brother Tony, you have to make it stop! - I will! 268 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,985 - All right! - I don't like it at all! 269 00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,612 - Come on, Brother Tony, jump! - I'm coming! 270 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,615 Help me! Help! Oh, God! 271 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,492 Brother Tony, do something! 272 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,703 - Don't just lie there, do something! - Like what? 273 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,037 - Do something! - Like what? 274 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:30,666 Exorcise it! Exorcise it! You're a priest, aren't you? 275 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,252 Well, I have a little something from Revelations. 276 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,171 - Revelations? - Revelations. 277 00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:38,090 "Yea, then I saw an angel... 278 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,177 Then I saw... I saw..." I'm going to be sick! 279 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,304 - Oh, God! - It's not working! 280 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,055 - We're going to die! - No, no, no. 281 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:47,624 - They're going to kill us! - No! 282 00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:56,717 A change in the humidity and you will turn blue. 283 00:23:02,131 --> 00:23:06,557 Come to me, bugbear, make me a woman. 284 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,017 My love. 285 00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:17,213 Oh, that's the most pathetic display that I've ever seen! 286 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,714 Malcolm! 287 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:22,193 What is that, a 45-degree, semi-silver mirror? 288 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,226 Now, Eamon. 289 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,794 The sword! 290 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,335 Jack, what are you doing? 291 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:40,169 I smell something burning, Jack. 292 00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,136 Sharon! 293 00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:51,413 How many times do I have to tell you, no? 294 00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:52,832 - I'm exhausted. - I just saw... 295 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,875 - We are not making love tonight! - I just... 296 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,126 I just saw a ghost! 297 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:59,380 That is the most pathetic excuse for sex I have ever heard. 298 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,882 If I say I'm too tired, then I'm too tired. 299 00:24:01,982 --> 00:24:06,237 Thank you very much, Jack. Now I need to take two more Valium. 300 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:13,310 - Oh, my God, he's got my underwear! - Oh, very nice, a pervert ghost. 301 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:16,564 - Malcolm, the children! - Don't worry, Marge, I'll handle this! 302 00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:19,417 Get away from the children! 303 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,778 Supernatural, huh? 304 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,489 Sounds pretty solid to me. Behind me, children! 305 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:30,015 How dare you threaten my family, you phony... 306 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,623 Cowardly dog. 307 00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:36,625 Take... 308 00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:39,353 - Go get him! - Back off. 309 00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:45,488 - I think it's real, Dad! - I'll show you real. 310 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,573 Oh, mother of God! 311 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:56,204 You could have shagging killed me. 312 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:02,047 Maybe if we made love more often, you wouldn't need your stupid pills. 313 00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:12,494 Do not take that Valium. Sharon, do not take that Valium! 314 00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:16,315 Would you listen to me for once in your life? Sharon, please. 315 00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:27,384 - It's not working. We have to stop! - No, no! 316 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:30,454 - We have to try something else! - Like what? 317 00:25:55,596 --> 00:26:00,318 What are you doing, you brats, to that poor ghost? 318 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,047 - Malcolm! - Plunkett! 319 00:26:05,147 --> 00:26:07,967 You phony! You fake! 320 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:11,162 Man! You... 321 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,430 Julia, Julia, Julia. 322 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:17,977 - Are you all right, my poor pet? - Oh, you little demons, you. Help! 323 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,438 Now, calm yourselves, calm yourselves, calm yourselves. 324 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:24,692 As the brochure says: it's the unpredictability of spirits that causes problems. 325 00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:27,945 I would like to apologize for any minor inconveniences. 326 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:32,241 This is the most pitiful supernatural sham that I've ever encountered! 327 00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:35,436 It will get better, I do assure you. 328 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,549 That's it. That's it. 329 00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:51,218 We are leaving tomorrow morning, Jack. 330 00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:55,305 - Oh, no, no, no, my dear woman. - Tomorrow morning. 331 00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,890 Am I intruding? 332 00:26:56,990 --> 00:27:00,102 Just give the poor ghosts a little time. 333 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,021 Hey, we're history, dude. 334 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:04,773 But couldn't we look on tonight as a kind of dress rehearsal? 335 00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:07,609 You're finished, Plunkett! 336 00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,321 I am going to personally expose this pathetic fraud! 337 00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:14,533 There are laws, sir, against people like you! 338 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,011 Marge, children, we're leaving. 339 00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:21,749 Maybe Jim Brogan will give us another chance. 340 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,000 - Jim Brogan? - Jack... 341 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:24,710 - What's Jim Brogan got to do with this? - Jack! 342 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,670 Yeah, he has the mortgage on the place... 343 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,548 and we've only got two weeks left and then he's going to throw us out. 344 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,633 Jack, I'm very tired. I'd like to go to bed now. 345 00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:34,612 - Just wait a minute. Just wait a minute! - Now! 346 00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:39,621 - What's going on here, Mr. Plunkett? - So we told a lie. 347 00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:43,562 Everyone lies once in a while. 348 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:48,317 So Katie isn't a ghost, and Julia still has her head on... 349 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:52,780 and Eamon isn't a mummy, and the castle isn't haunted. 350 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,257 But what of that? 351 00:27:55,424 --> 00:27:59,895 What you have to ask yourselves is, why did we do it? 352 00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:04,938 We did it because we love this place. 353 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:13,113 Every little worm-eaten brick, every little rotting nook and cranny. 354 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:19,582 Why should you Americans care if I lose my home... 355 00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:22,330 Castle Plunkett... 356 00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:28,023 and the villagers lose their only means of employment? 357 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:29,900 Thank you, dear. 358 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,095 Jack. Jack, let's go to bed. 359 00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:36,740 - I care, Mr. Plunkett. - What? 360 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,034 I care. 361 00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:43,163 Jim Brogan is my father-in-law so I'm involved in this. 362 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:46,813 You're Jim Brogan's daughter? 363 00:28:49,895 --> 00:28:51,672 Yes... 364 00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:54,696 My name's Brogan. 365 00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:58,804 Well, I might as well tell you that there won't be any extensions on your mortgage. 366 00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,348 - I mean, not after tonight's performance. - I don't believe this. 367 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:03,267 Daddy asked me to check it out. 368 00:29:03,367 --> 00:29:07,437 I mean, this ghost business was too ridiculous. 369 00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:10,315 - So you came to sabotage us. - No, no, no! 370 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:15,421 You did perfectly all right all by yourself. I didn't have to lift a finger. 371 00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,761 Jack, are you coming? 372 00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:33,647 Look, I... 373 00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:37,613 I don't know what to say. I mean... 374 00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:40,491 I didn't know. 375 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:42,702 I didn't. 376 00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:46,873 And for what it's worth, I think this place is great. 377 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:52,374 You're the ghost in the bedroom. 378 00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:57,220 You were the banshee on the luggage rack. 379 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,893 Sharon! Sharon! 380 00:30:03,719 --> 00:30:05,096 Sharon! 381 00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:06,955 Sharon! 382 00:30:07,055 --> 00:30:09,917 Sharon, hey, wait a minute. Just wait a minute. 383 00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:11,752 Daddy wants this place. He's always wanted it. 384 00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,545 He was born here. He hates the Plunketts. 385 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,047 - Why? - Why not? 386 00:30:15,147 --> 00:30:18,675 - Daddy hates most people. - So you lied to me. 387 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:20,886 You used our second honeymoon for Daddy. 388 00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:23,180 Jack, it's business. 389 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,248 It's business? 390 00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:29,703 Obviously, a word you're not familiar with. 391 00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:47,472 - Where are you going? - To get drunk. 392 00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:53,210 I don't want you to lose your castle, not to my father-in-law. 393 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,878 He's a son of a bitch. 394 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:57,297 Oh, my dear fellow, you're too kind.. 395 00:30:57,397 --> 00:31:04,888 He's an unlovely combination of a son of a bitch and a rat's knackers. 396 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:06,848 What's a rat's knackers? 397 00:31:06,948 --> 00:31:11,561 It's an unholy trinity of a muckraker... 398 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:15,632 a gobshite and a whore's mouth. 399 00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:19,970 The guy's a dick. 400 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:23,890 In a word. Would you like a drink? 401 00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:28,937 - I thought I had one. - I mean, a real drink. 402 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:57,461 Upsy-daisy. 403 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:11,438 My father's brew. 404 00:32:30,824 --> 00:32:32,201 Perfect. 405 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:34,978 Don't look at the bad side. 406 00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,147 Got to look at the good side of things. 407 00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:40,984 Constantly, there's two sides. There's two sides to every story. 408 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:45,430 You know what I'm saying? Right in here, right through. 409 00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:49,910 Milk of human kindness, Sharon. 410 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:53,288 Three little words, every once in a while. 411 00:32:53,388 --> 00:32:55,457 Doesn't cost anything. 412 00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:58,686 "I love you." 413 00:33:01,271 --> 00:33:03,340 Oh, shit! 414 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,192 Wrong room. 415 00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:09,405 Our room's not this nice. 416 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:37,290 - No, Martin! - Oh, hey, it's not what you think. 417 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:41,294 - Oh, no, Martin, no! - Oh, I know you! 418 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:45,424 - You're the girl in the painting! - So, you wee harlot. 419 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:47,092 - No, Martin! - You'll not tup with me? 420 00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:50,429 - You're the one in the painting! - Hey, come here. 421 00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:52,639 - Who is this guy? - Come here to me, you whore. 422 00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:56,309 Great act! Real bruises, too, huh? Wow, that's great. 423 00:33:56,409 --> 00:33:58,353 Hey, Pal, you should have done this earlier. 424 00:33:58,453 --> 00:33:59,855 I think you could have saved the place. 425 00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:01,273 - Where is he? - No, Martin! 426 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:03,108 - Where is he? - I'm telling you! 427 00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:05,444 - Where is he? - Great outfits. 428 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,987 - Martin, there's no one! - Where is he? 429 00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:08,155 - There's no one! - Where is he? 430 00:34:08,255 --> 00:34:10,323 - There's no one. - Looks real. Looks real. 431 00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,869 - Martin, there's no one! - Looks a little rough, but real. 432 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:16,438 Why don't I believe you? 433 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,989 Oh, this is so disgusting! 434 00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:30,865 Mary? 435 00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:33,322 Mary? 436 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:39,853 Oh, Lord, she wouldn't die, not with a lie on her lips. 437 00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:42,981 - Oh, God, what have I done? - You killed her. 438 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:46,151 - Oh, Lord, what have I done? - I told you, you killed her. 439 00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:49,779 Oh, Mary. Oh, Lord, what have I done? 440 00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:53,383 What did you do? What did you do? She's a mess! 441 00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:14,826 There's a trapdoor down here. 442 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:18,625 Here it is. 443 00:35:25,165 --> 00:35:27,293 - Oh, no... - Oh, no, Martin! 444 00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:31,655 So, you wee harlot. 445 00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:33,365 No, Martin, no! 446 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:34,824 Don't... 447 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:38,411 You won't tup with me, huh? Then you'll tup with no one. 448 00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:41,623 The party's over, all right? The party's over. 449 00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:44,042 Take your hands off the girl or you're gonna be... 450 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,110 Okay, pal. 451 00:35:47,771 --> 00:35:49,130 - Quick, he's quick... - Mary! 452 00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,382 - No, Martin! - Where is he? 453 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:52,133 - Martin, there's no one! - Where is he? 454 00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:54,261 - Martin! Martin, there's no one! - Where is he? 455 00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,930 What are you doing? She's a beautiful woman! 456 00:35:57,030 --> 00:36:00,058 - I swear to do, I will kill you now! - That's a beautiful girl! 457 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,002 - Why don't I believe you? - Hey, hey, not again! 458 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:09,383 I'm hit. 459 00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:12,508 Oh, God! 460 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:16,783 Oh, God! Breath... 461 00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:19,181 - Dirty rotten... - Mary? 462 00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:23,206 - Mary? - He missed... He missed me. 463 00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:29,029 Oh, Lord, she wouldn't die, not with a lie on her lips. 464 00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:33,526 Oh, Lord, what have I done? Oh, Lord, what have I done? 465 00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,491 What have I done? 466 00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:41,099 - Oh, Mary. - Who are you guys? 467 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:44,169 - Oh, Mary. - I'm Mary Plunkett. 468 00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:46,605 - Wait a minute. - What have I done? 469 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,148 Wait a minute. 470 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:50,376 This is an act. 471 00:36:53,253 --> 00:36:56,177 This is an act, right? 472 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,786 How can I thank you? 473 00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:03,455 For what? 474 00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:05,933 For your selflessness. 475 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:11,463 I... I didn't do... I don't... 476 00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:14,257 How can I thank you? 477 00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:18,094 You are so beautiful. 478 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,930 How can I thank you? 479 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,703 Thank you. 480 00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:27,354 - Don't go. Why do you have to go? - Thank you. 481 00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:29,127 Thank you. 482 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:43,019 I don't feel good. 483 00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:12,503 Sharon, I think I'm going crazy. 484 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:15,110 I got to know. 485 00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:16,257 Did you... 486 00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:22,554 Did you ever love me? 487 00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:36,068 Let's see if those pills really work. 488 00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,116 Yeah. 489 00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:46,366 You've had a good life. 490 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,305 Oh, God. 491 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,680 You... 492 00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:27,453 You're... 493 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:52,165 Good morning, darling. 494 00:39:52,265 --> 00:39:54,083 Good morning, Lavinia. 495 00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:57,962 Well, our son is an idiot. 496 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:02,613 We've known that for years, haven't we, darling? 497 00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:06,262 Well, this time he has surpassed himself. 498 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:09,182 - The ghosts are furious! - Why? 499 00:40:09,282 --> 00:40:11,434 Well, they've heard that that Jim Brogan fellow... 500 00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:15,396 - is going to move the castle to Malibu. - How nice. 501 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:21,110 All that sunshine and all those movie stars. 502 00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:25,406 No respectable ghost would live in California. 503 00:40:25,506 --> 00:40:28,451 Besides, they're Irish. What would they do there? 504 00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:31,246 Oh, if only I hadn't died, none of this would ever have happened. 505 00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:33,998 Well, you did die, didn't you, darling? 506 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,584 So what are we going to do about it? 507 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:39,963 Out of my hands. They won't listen to me. 508 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:43,424 They're going to give those Americans exactly what they came here for. 509 00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,697 Serve 'em right. 510 00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:52,166 I'm dead. 511 00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:57,205 So this is what it feels like. 512 00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,379 Like a hangover. 513 00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:08,516 Peter. 514 00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:12,057 Peter, wake up. Wake up. 515 00:41:13,221 --> 00:41:16,316 - The Yanks are leaving. - Really? 516 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:31,331 As long as I'm dead, I might as well tell you. 517 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:36,211 You've got all the warmth of a penguin on an iceberg. 518 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,751 Yeah. 519 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:42,358 You're a dwarf. 520 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,944 Yeah, you better clean those choppers real good... 521 00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:49,015 so they can chew up the next jerk who comes along, huh? 522 00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:50,992 I'm not dead? 523 00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:54,037 No, but if I were you, I wouldn't make any long-range plans. 524 00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:57,457 Great, Jack. Now I've got a massive migraine coming on. 525 00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,251 My B-complex level is rock bottom. 526 00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:05,340 Sharon, let me see that. Let me see... 527 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,863 Sharon, I think... 528 00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:10,386 Get packed, Jack. 529 00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:13,535 Sharon, you took the Valium. 530 00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,705 Wrong pills? 531 00:42:19,328 --> 00:42:24,067 - What'd you have for your breakfast, little boy? - Some damn fish. 532 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:26,110 That was a nice change. 533 00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:30,431 I said this place is a nightmare, Daddy! 534 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:34,369 Of course I sound strange, I'm depressed. 535 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:36,120 Everybody hates me. 536 00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,414 And last night Jack slept on the floor... 537 00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:40,583 and when he woke up, he said he was dead. 538 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:43,127 And that I was a dwarf and that I had buckteeth. 539 00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:45,588 And you know how self-conscious I am about those things. 540 00:42:45,688 --> 00:42:49,509 This is all your fault! I hate this place. 541 00:42:49,609 --> 00:42:52,783 Mrs. Crawford, are you all right? 542 00:42:53,946 --> 00:42:58,142 Do you think that I'm colder than a penguin on an iceberg? 543 00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,228 Oh, well, no. No. 544 00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:05,926 You see, actually, penguins are a lot warmer than people give them credit for. 545 00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:12,219 How dare you? 546 00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:14,975 Jack! 547 00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:17,912 I didn't... Don't tell my wife. 548 00:43:18,012 --> 00:43:19,497 Jack! 549 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:23,418 - I mean, not that I did anything, anyway. - Jack, we're going! 550 00:43:23,518 --> 00:43:25,461 Do you hear me, Sharon? 551 00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:27,296 Sharon, get on this phone! 552 00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:29,298 - Jack! - Sharon! 553 00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:32,447 Will you talk to me, Sharon? 554 00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:13,134 You're real. 555 00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:15,511 I mean, you're not. 556 00:44:15,611 --> 00:44:17,830 You're a real ghost. 557 00:44:22,243 --> 00:44:24,086 Jack! 558 00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:28,299 Jack! 559 00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:37,033 I have to thank you for what you did last night. 560 00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:39,952 It was nothing. What did I do? 561 00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:43,873 You gave me my first moment of peace in near 200 years. 562 00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:46,125 I'll be in your debt for eternity, sir. 563 00:44:46,225 --> 00:44:49,253 It was nothing. It was nothing. And you don't have to call me "sir". 564 00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:51,697 What can I call you? 565 00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,592 Jack... 566 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,135 Jack. 567 00:44:56,235 --> 00:44:58,387 Thank you, Sir Jack. 568 00:44:58,487 --> 00:45:00,706 It's on me, okay? 569 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:07,146 - Lovely dress. - My wedding dress. 570 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,732 Today is my wedding day. 571 00:45:09,832 --> 00:45:14,320 - Tonight, he'll murder me. - You get murdered every night? 572 00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:17,031 Every night until last night. 573 00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,741 What about tonight? 574 00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:20,993 That depends on you. 575 00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:22,620 Why me? 576 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,665 Your love broke the chain, crossed the boundary. 577 00:45:25,765 --> 00:45:28,709 Oh, my God! Hold on! You can't depend on me! 578 00:45:28,809 --> 00:45:31,879 Nobody can depend on me. My wife would never understand. I... 579 00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:35,529 - 'Twasn't love, then. - Well, Mary, we hardly know each other. 580 00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:37,318 Jack! 581 00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:40,037 Okay! 582 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,266 - Look, I've got to go! - Don't go, Jack! 583 00:45:43,366 --> 00:45:45,309 I gotta... I just... I... Look... 584 00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,103 You want to forget me. 585 00:45:47,203 --> 00:45:51,674 I don't know what I want! I just don't! I... 586 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:01,976 Jack! 587 00:46:10,935 --> 00:46:12,403 What...? 588 00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,526 What the heck...? 589 00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:28,244 Jack! 590 00:46:40,673 --> 00:46:42,721 He's flying! Look at him! 591 00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:59,033 Jesus Christ, it got windy! 592 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:04,764 Oh, so all the snakes weren't driven out of Ireland. 593 00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:07,117 - What? - The snakes... 594 00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:42,635 "To die, to sleep, no more. 595 00:47:42,735 --> 00:47:45,263 And by a sleep to say we end the heartache..." 596 00:47:45,363 --> 00:47:48,867 Peter! Peter! They've changed their minds. They're staying! 597 00:47:54,330 --> 00:47:56,128 There is a God. 598 00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:03,864 Hi. 599 00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:08,811 Would your name conceivably be Jack? 600 00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:12,807 Yeah. 601 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:26,262 Welcome back, dear guests! 602 00:48:26,362 --> 00:48:30,891 Let me be the first to apologize for our temperamental Irish weather. 603 00:48:30,991 --> 00:48:34,336 - Shut up, Plunkett! Call us a cab. - Certainly, Mr. Clay. Immediately. 604 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:43,279 Deepest regrets, the phones are dead. 605 00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:45,552 The storm must have knocked them out. 606 00:48:46,465 --> 00:48:48,868 - I'm going to get all wet. - Which way are we going? 607 00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:51,203 - Let's get inside. - Yes, that's it. Hurry up! 608 00:48:51,303 --> 00:48:54,790 So, we're all together for one more night. 609 00:48:54,890 --> 00:48:59,128 It seems that we're becoming one big happy family. 610 00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:01,481 Oh, sorry, Mr. P. 611 00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:08,429 Plunkett, I would rather walk into town in this suit of armor... 612 00:49:08,529 --> 00:49:10,264 and spend the night in a stable... 613 00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:12,808 than to spend one more second in this hellhole! 614 00:49:12,908 --> 00:49:16,458 - Marge! Children! We're leaving. - Come on, kids. 615 00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:21,045 Malcolm! 616 00:49:29,258 --> 00:49:31,181 Oh, my God! 617 00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:33,479 Malcolm! 618 00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:35,915 Malcolm! 619 00:49:36,015 --> 00:49:37,642 Oh, God! 620 00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:41,236 Malcolm, can you hear me? 621 00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,800 Oh, please, let him be all right. 622 00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,618 Oh, my God. 623 00:49:50,738 --> 00:49:53,412 Plunkett, this is your doing! 624 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:59,088 - Darling? - Yes, I think we could stay one more night. 625 00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:05,111 Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Bridget, please don't let him marry me. 626 00:50:05,211 --> 00:50:07,154 Please release me. 627 00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:09,382 I don't love Martin. 628 00:50:11,217 --> 00:50:16,330 Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Bridget, please don't let me marry him. 629 00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:18,249 Please release me. 630 00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,693 - I don't love Martin. - Mary? 631 00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:26,048 - Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Bridget... - Mary? 632 00:50:26,148 --> 00:50:29,176 Please don't let me marry him. Please release me. 633 00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,886 Mary. 634 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,785 - Sweet Mother Mary... - Mary! 635 00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:38,727 Sweet Jesus, what happened to you? 636 00:50:38,827 --> 00:50:41,147 - Ran into a little wind. - Oh, dear. 637 00:50:41,247 --> 00:50:44,483 That would be the spirits in the castle. 638 00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:46,176 Sorry. 639 00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:48,779 What are you doing? 640 00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:52,408 I'm praying to Saint Bridget to release me from me marriage vows. 641 00:50:52,508 --> 00:50:55,453 Look, this is too psychotic for me! 642 00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:56,954 I mean, look... 643 00:50:57,054 --> 00:51:00,666 I mean, I'm as up for a good nervous breakdown as anybody, really... 644 00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:02,460 but this is too much. 645 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,628 I mean, I get here yesterday, my marriage collapses... 646 00:51:04,728 --> 00:51:06,964 then I save a ghost from being murdered by another ghost. 647 00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:09,675 Now, if you think about it, that makes no sense at all. 648 00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:13,846 Then I fly through the air, hit a tree, and Reynaldo... 649 00:51:13,946 --> 00:51:19,794 the talking horse here, leads me to... 650 00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:26,885 to the most beautiful ghost I've ever seen in my... 651 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:35,034 Last night, when you took Martin's sword in my stead... 652 00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:39,622 you broke the cursed chain that has bound me for 200 years. 653 00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:41,332 What cursed chain? 654 00:51:41,432 --> 00:51:45,983 Me marriage to Martin Brogan was arranged by me father. 655 00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,088 I did not love him. 656 00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:52,819 He had warts and his feet stank. 657 00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:58,390 On my wedding night, I refused to be tupped by him. 658 00:51:58,490 --> 00:52:01,369 - Tupped? - Tupped. 659 00:52:01,910 --> 00:52:03,958 Oh, tupped. 660 00:52:04,788 --> 00:52:07,691 I get it. Go on. Go on. Go on. 661 00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:12,137 He thought I loved another though I did not. 662 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:18,019 And in a jealous fury, he did me to death. 663 00:52:19,553 --> 00:52:23,478 Now every day for me is the same. 664 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:28,921 If I get murdered one more time, I'll scream. 665 00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:33,151 - Who'd want to be a ghost? - We are what we are. 666 00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:38,246 So, this Marty stank, huh? 667 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,576 Aye, and he squished. 668 00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:44,770 - He squished? - Squished. 669 00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:46,713 Oh, he squished! 670 00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:48,920 God! 671 00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:55,423 Could you love a man who belched but didn't squish? 672 00:52:57,049 --> 00:52:59,768 I could love you, Sir Jack. 673 00:53:00,552 --> 00:53:04,398 If you loved me, the miracle could happen. 674 00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:11,463 I can't. I can't. I cannot do this. I am married. 675 00:53:11,563 --> 00:53:14,341 - Then, you don't love me. - I didn't say that. 676 00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:16,802 And I am doomed forever. 677 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:22,308 Even now, Martin dons his garments, sharpens his knife. 678 00:53:22,408 --> 00:53:24,226 Goodbye, Sir Jack. 679 00:53:24,326 --> 00:53:27,605 Look, you're a ghost. I'm an American. It would never work out. 680 00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:30,357 Sweet Mother Mary, Saint Colum... 681 00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:33,068 - I don't want you to get murdered again. - Saint Bridget... 682 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:34,445 - It's just that my wife... - Please release me. 683 00:53:34,545 --> 00:53:37,389 - Please protect me, Mary. - ...if she found out, she'd murder me! 684 00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,686 Oh, Jack, is that you? 685 00:53:52,187 --> 00:53:55,466 God, I don't know what happened to me but I feel zonked. 686 00:53:55,566 --> 00:54:00,012 I've got pains all over my body. Could you rub my back? 687 00:54:00,112 --> 00:54:03,036 Well, go on, Jack. I won't bite. 688 00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:11,545 Oh, Jack, you never did it like that before. 689 00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,802 Oh, Saint Patrick. 690 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:18,922 Oh, Saint Jude! 691 00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:23,393 Oh, Saint Columcille. 692 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:27,227 - Oh, Shitehawks McGoldrick! - Jack! 693 00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,210 - Sharon? Sharon? - Jack! Jack! 694 00:54:31,310 --> 00:54:34,421 - Honey! What...? What's up? - Jack! Jack! 695 00:54:34,521 --> 00:54:36,674 Honey, honey, honey, what? What is it? 696 00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:39,718 Where have you been? There was a man in my bathtub! 697 00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:43,847 Big giant man, gigantic. And he's rubbing my back and it felt good. 698 00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:46,600 I should have known it wasn't you! He had warts all over his hands... 699 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,560 Oh, yeah, right. He had warts. Yeah, that's Martin. 700 00:54:48,660 --> 00:54:50,062 - Who's Martin? - He's a ghost. 701 00:54:50,162 --> 00:54:51,730 - He's a what? - He's a ghost. 702 00:54:51,830 --> 00:54:53,190 - He murders his wife every night. - Jack... 703 00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:55,234 Other than that, I think he's pretty harmless, sweetheart. 704 00:54:55,334 --> 00:54:57,319 - Get out! Out! - Honey... 705 00:54:57,419 --> 00:54:58,904 - Jack, out! - Sweetheart, look, honey... 706 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:02,053 - Honey, wait, you don't understand! - Out, out! 707 00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:05,136 Honey, we've got to talk. 708 00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:12,109 Are you okay, honey? 709 00:55:12,935 --> 00:55:14,753 Do I look okay? 710 00:55:14,853 --> 00:55:16,571 Not really. 711 00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:34,498 What are you doing? 712 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,672 Have to check this place out. 713 00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:42,406 Something smells very wrong here. 714 00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:47,286 Yes, it does. It smells like burnt rubber. 715 00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:49,434 Yeah. Yeah, that's me. 716 00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,461 To right. Right to left. Left to right. Right to left. 717 00:55:55,561 --> 00:55:58,922 - Do you believe this? - Only four channels! 718 00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:02,468 - The cables must be unplugged. - There's no cable. This is it. 719 00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:06,414 - I tell you, this place sucks the big one. - So, fingers together... 720 00:56:11,994 --> 00:56:13,587 Wendy! 721 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:15,839 Left to right. Right to left. 722 00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:41,069 You horrible little children! 723 00:56:41,773 --> 00:56:44,885 Eternity's a big commitment. You know, it's a long time. 724 00:56:44,985 --> 00:56:48,831 You gotta take things one step at a time. That's the key. 725 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:54,394 You do love her, don't you? 726 00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:57,105 Yeah, I guess I do. I don't know, I... 727 00:56:57,205 --> 00:56:59,316 What's the problem, then? 728 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,386 She's a ghost! She's dead. I'm alive. 729 00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:09,142 - How do you know all this? - I'm married to one. 730 00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:16,917 Won't you join us... for a drink? 731 00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:20,191 Yeah, I could use a drink. Yeah, sure. 732 00:57:24,691 --> 00:57:26,659 Oh, dear Lord... 733 00:57:27,819 --> 00:57:32,290 I do beseech thee to help me in this, my hour of need. 734 00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:40,467 Oh, cleanse me of these impure thoughts I have for this woman, Miranda. 735 00:57:58,100 --> 00:57:59,522 Come on! 736 00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:10,738 Oh, Lord! I get the message! 737 00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,040 Brother Tony? 738 00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:29,678 Brother Tony? Brother Tony, are you all right? 739 00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:34,052 Brother Tony? 740 00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:38,951 Brother Tony, what are you doing in the pool? 741 00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:42,997 The Lord works in mysterious ways. 742 00:59:44,414 --> 00:59:48,009 True love can move mountains. 743 00:59:49,503 --> 00:59:51,822 Yeah, but it can't bring the dead back to life. 744 00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:55,409 Oh, yes, it can. On Allhallow's Eve. 745 00:59:55,509 --> 00:59:58,203 - Halloween? That's tomorrow night. - Yes. 746 00:59:58,303 --> 01:00:02,207 When the spirit moves and the flesh is willing... 747 01:00:02,307 --> 01:00:08,440 and the juices flow and the skelping is mighty. 748 01:00:09,147 --> 01:00:12,742 - What's "skelping"? - It's a ghost term. 749 01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:18,473 But it's dangerous. You mustn't go too far. 750 01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,371 What do you mean? 751 01:00:55,902 --> 01:00:56,970 Oh, it's you. 752 01:00:57,070 --> 01:00:59,139 - Whom were you expecting? - Come on, Mr. Plunkett. 753 01:00:59,239 --> 01:01:01,725 Those fake ghosts were one thing. This is entirely different, isn't it? 754 01:01:01,825 --> 01:01:04,853 - Is there something wrong with your rooms? - Something wrong with our rooms? 755 01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:07,606 - What are you talking about, ghosts? - Well, the brochure did... 756 01:01:07,706 --> 01:01:10,942 Damn the brochure! We're talking real, live spirits here! 757 01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:12,944 - How do you explain this? - The weather. 758 01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:15,530 Oh, come off it, will you? 759 01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:19,201 Don't you understand? He wants us here. 760 01:01:19,301 --> 01:01:21,995 He knows it's the only way he can keep this dump. 761 01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:27,626 I don't know about the rest of you but, Plunkett, you haven't fooled me at all. 762 01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:30,921 - I... I've been fooled. - Oh, me, too. 763 01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:32,568 - I've been very fooled. - Explain this to me. 764 01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:37,344 "A ghost may not tup with a human." 765 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:39,805 So, this means a ghost cannot make love with a human being. 766 01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:41,532 Oh, my God! 767 01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:44,576 Mary? 768 01:01:45,243 --> 01:01:46,394 Who's Mary? 769 01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:48,814 - Oh, she... - Who's this Mary? 770 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,941 She's a woman. She's a ghost. 771 01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:53,485 - Jack, don't start this ghost stuff again. - No, she's a woman ghost. 772 01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:55,237 - She's someone I care about and... - What? 773 01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:57,280 It's funny how you can care... I think I'm falling... 774 01:01:57,380 --> 01:02:00,075 Jack, don't stand there and tell me that you're having an affair with a goddamn ghost. 775 01:02:00,175 --> 01:02:03,995 - Wait a minute, give me a chance! - No, that's it! Your lawyer, my lawyer! 776 01:02:04,095 --> 01:02:07,207 And I hope the ghost has a lawyer because I want to meet him! 777 01:02:07,307 --> 01:02:09,835 - Here she is, this is Mary. - No, Martin! 778 01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:13,630 - This is Mary, Mary the ghost. - So, you wee harlot! 779 01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,298 - No, Martin, no! - Not tup with me, eh? 780 01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:16,925 - That's Martin. - That's the man that was in my bathtub. 781 01:02:17,025 --> 01:02:18,218 That's Martin the ghost. 782 01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:20,428 Yeah, and see, he's gonna come over, he's gonna throw her on the bed here. 783 01:02:20,528 --> 01:02:22,722 - He's gigantic. - That's Martin the ghost. 784 01:02:22,822 --> 01:02:24,266 They're having problems in their relationship. 785 01:02:24,366 --> 01:02:27,144 No, Jack, we're having problems in our relationship. 786 01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:28,812 - Come here! - Honey, you got to see this. 787 01:02:28,912 --> 01:02:31,189 - Come on. - He's gonna run after her. 788 01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:33,191 - Just come over here for a second. - Where is he? Where is he? 789 01:02:33,291 --> 01:02:35,610 Martin, there's no one! There's no one! 790 01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:39,614 Oh, yes, there is, my husband. There's my husband! 791 01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,074 Martin, there's no one! 792 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:43,076 - Why don't I believe you? - Believe this! 793 01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:45,245 Honey, honey, you can't just kick a ghost. 794 01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:48,081 - Did you see that? - Oh, now look what you did. 795 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:52,652 Mary. Mary. Wait. Wait, Mary. 796 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:59,050 - I love you. - I know that. 797 01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:00,886 You do? 798 01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:03,263 When did you know that? 799 01:03:03,363 --> 01:03:05,365 The minute I saw you. 800 01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:08,618 The minute I knew I loved you. 801 01:03:09,911 --> 01:03:12,480 But your love must be true. 802 01:03:12,580 --> 01:03:16,651 - It is. - Silt must withstand all obstacles. 803 01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:18,445 It will. It will. 804 01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:20,739 Oh, Mary, my darling. 805 01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,309 What have I done to you? What have I done? 806 01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:29,289 That was a dirty trick, wasn't it, hey? 807 01:03:29,389 --> 01:03:32,417 Hey? Kicking me right in the bahookies. 808 01:03:32,517 --> 01:03:34,544 Well, you were gonna stab your wife with a sword, you pig! 809 01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,671 Sure, that's no big thing. I do it every night. 810 01:03:36,771 --> 01:03:41,176 And I suppose watching other men's wives in the bathtub is no big deal, either. 811 01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:45,031 Sure, it's a grand thing if the wife happens to be you. 812 01:03:46,114 --> 01:03:50,310 - You dirty peeping Tom. - My name is not Tom, it's Martin! 813 01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:52,479 Oh, Mary. 814 01:03:52,579 --> 01:03:55,106 Oh, Mary, I'm sorry, darling. 815 01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:57,300 What have I done to you? 816 01:03:57,792 --> 01:03:59,736 What have I done? 817 01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:02,781 Oh, God. Oh, God. Here, give us a wee skelp before I vanish. 818 01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:04,658 No, no, no, not again. 819 01:04:04,758 --> 01:04:07,202 Jeez, you're a way wee vixen, aren't you? 820 01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:09,896 Oh, Lord, what have I done? 821 01:04:10,430 --> 01:04:12,832 Oh, God, what have I done? 822 01:04:12,932 --> 01:04:15,856 Oh, God, what a woman! 823 01:04:18,897 --> 01:04:21,446 You're not so bad yourself. 824 01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:28,248 - What's skelping? - Skelping? 825 01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:32,289 This is skelping. 826 01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:09,957 - That's nasty. - 'Twasn't nice? 827 01:05:10,615 --> 01:05:12,392 Oh, it was nice. 828 01:05:12,492 --> 01:05:15,621 It was very, very, very, very nice. 829 01:05:17,997 --> 01:05:20,716 Hold on, Mary. Wait a minute. 830 01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:23,153 You can't just skelp me and leave me. 831 01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:27,741 Can't help it. Skelping takes a lot out of you. 832 01:05:27,841 --> 01:05:29,868 Look, Mary, I... 833 01:05:29,968 --> 01:05:33,814 I'll be in the chamber, midnight tomorrow. 834 01:05:38,351 --> 01:05:39,898 Mary. 835 01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:45,988 So, what's wrong with them, eh? 836 01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:50,955 What's wrong with these Americans? 837 01:05:51,781 --> 01:05:57,254 One night they're desperate to leave, the next night you can't get rid of them. 838 01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:03,674 One day they hate the whiting, the next day they have to have all five courses. 839 01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:07,447 When you break your back to give them the ghosts you thought they wanted... 840 01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:08,823 they scream at you. 841 01:06:08,923 --> 01:06:12,118 And when you throw the towel in, they scream even louder. 842 01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:15,246 They see spooks everywhere. 843 01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:19,226 Spooks in the bathroom, spooks under the bed. 844 01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:23,777 Don't they know when the joke is over? 845 01:06:24,689 --> 01:06:27,943 How they cower at nothing. 846 01:06:30,445 --> 01:06:32,847 What is going on here? 847 01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:39,080 Eamon, why are chunks of masonry floating about? 848 01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,485 Mr... 849 01:07:03,186 --> 01:07:04,984 Mr. Plunkett... 850 01:07:05,897 --> 01:07:08,550 I think there's some people want to have a word with you. 851 01:07:08,650 --> 01:07:10,593 Who? 852 01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,163 Grand Uncle Peter and Grand Aunt Nan. 853 01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:18,042 Granny Joyce and her sister. 854 01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:20,996 - Half-sister. - Her half-sister. 855 01:07:22,288 --> 01:07:25,650 - Not to mention... - Oh, no. No, no. 856 01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:28,778 - Your daddy. - But he's dead! 857 01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:30,613 I know. 858 01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:33,241 He looks terrible angry, too. 859 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:35,160 And I've a perfect right to be... 860 01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:37,704 considering what you have done to our ancestral home! 861 01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:38,976 Father! 862 01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:46,629 Let us in! Let us in! 863 01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:48,882 Do you really think you could get away from me? 864 01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:51,509 Leave me alone. You're dead. 865 01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:54,512 Not so dead I can't see what a numbskull you are! 866 01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,764 Oh, fine! 867 01:07:56,864 --> 01:08:00,185 Call me names. That's so easy. 868 01:08:00,285 --> 01:08:04,314 - Well, for God's sake, look at you! - What did you have to give me this place for? 869 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,399 You knew I was an incompetent. 870 01:08:06,499 --> 01:08:09,319 All I wanted to be was happily useless. 871 01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:12,447 You made me miserably useless giving me this place. 872 01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:15,825 Staff to run, bills to be paid. 873 01:08:15,925 --> 01:08:19,304 And then dying on me just like that! 874 01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:22,790 Most people give some warning, you know. 875 01:08:22,890 --> 01:08:26,461 Premature senility, angina, gout, bedridden for years. 876 01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,881 But not you. Oh, no, no, no. Healthy as an old goat... 877 01:08:29,981 --> 01:08:33,656 you pop off one day in the orchard, and what then? 878 01:08:34,152 --> 01:08:37,998 Not a goddamn word, not a whisper. 879 01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:45,331 Did it never occur to you that I might need some advice? 880 01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,793 That I might miss you? 881 01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:53,363 Oh, Peter, I never thought that... 882 01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,262 It's true, you old ghost. 883 01:08:57,675 --> 01:09:00,178 I missed you, Daddy. 884 01:09:01,929 --> 01:09:04,728 Give your daddy a hug. 885 01:09:13,775 --> 01:09:16,278 Oh. Sorry, Peter. 886 01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:25,436 They will be back tonight. It is Allhallow's Eve. 887 01:09:25,536 --> 01:09:28,731 So, if you see anything, just ignore it, ignore it completely. 888 01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:32,506 Just pretend that it didn't happen. Have you got that? 889 01:09:42,387 --> 01:09:44,998 I don't hear anything. Do you? 890 01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:47,100 No. No. 891 01:09:48,393 --> 01:09:51,442 Don't you just love whiting? 892 01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:12,900 Madam. 893 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:17,155 Madam, for you I've missed my wedding for the first time in years. 894 01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:19,282 That's how much I want you. 895 01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:23,620 Actually, I know I'm a ghost and a murderer, but forget about all that. 896 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:27,081 Listen, tonight's Allhallow's Eve... 897 01:10:27,181 --> 01:10:29,375 the one night in the year that I turn to flesh. 898 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:33,025 So, what do you say to a wee bit of skelping, eh? 899 01:10:37,358 --> 01:10:39,052 Come on. 900 01:10:39,152 --> 01:10:41,780 At least tell me your name. 901 01:10:53,207 --> 01:10:54,317 Wow! 902 01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:59,280 Oh, lady, I've got the best bahookies from here to Ballinderry. 903 01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:02,850 Come on, what do you say? Let's give it a twirl, eh? 904 01:11:03,718 --> 01:11:07,643 - Drop dead. - Oh, God, what a woman! 905 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:39,759 "He who tups with the spirit finds only the grave. 906 01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:44,847 But the virtuous heart true love will save." 907 01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:51,207 "He who tups with the spirit finds only the grave. 908 01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:55,357 But the virtuous heart true love will save." 909 01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:23,614 A whiskey over here, please. A whiskey. 910 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:26,868 Forget that. Relax, everybody. Take it easy. 911 01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:30,788 They won't come into a bar, would they? They don't drink whiskey. 912 01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:32,123 - Who? - Spirits. 913 01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:33,624 How the hell would I know? 914 01:12:33,724 --> 01:12:36,127 - The Irish ones do. - He says the Irish ones do. 915 01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:38,379 - Don't. - Now, what, do they or don't they? 916 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:41,132 - You don't shagging know, do you? - Look! Look! 917 01:12:41,232 --> 01:12:44,427 It may be no more than a local disturbance in the extra-planar ether. 918 01:12:44,527 --> 01:12:47,764 - Ether, me bollocks. - A supernatural belch, you know what I mean? 919 01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,081 - Dad! - Dad! 920 01:12:50,575 --> 01:12:53,186 Davey, drinks all around! 921 01:12:53,286 --> 01:12:55,813 - What's that? - Ignore it! No! 922 01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:59,463 - Where's your ectoplism now? - What? 923 01:13:44,337 --> 01:13:47,907 - Now, what in the name of God is that? - Look, Dad, it's a submarine! 924 01:13:48,007 --> 01:13:50,243 - Look, it's moving! - What is that? 925 01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:53,663 Well, what's the shagging thing on top of it? 926 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:55,857 It's a giant squid! 927 01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:04,491 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil." 928 01:14:06,901 --> 01:14:10,030 Mom! 929 01:14:10,696 --> 01:14:12,369 Woody! 930 01:14:14,533 --> 01:14:17,662 "Thy rod and thy staff, they will comfort me." 931 01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:20,815 Woody! 932 01:14:20,915 --> 01:14:23,794 - Woody! - Save the child! 933 01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,638 Woody! 934 01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:29,928 Hold on! 935 01:14:30,508 --> 01:14:32,636 Woody, hold on! 936 01:14:36,931 --> 01:14:38,854 Heave! 937 01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:43,379 Heave! 938 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,947 Woody! 939 01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:01,039 Mom! Mom! Mom! 940 01:15:01,664 --> 01:15:03,166 Mom! 941 01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:06,944 - Mom! - Look! Hey, look! Oh, look. 942 01:15:07,044 --> 01:15:08,404 She's moving on! 943 01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:10,927 Be moving on. 944 01:15:12,717 --> 01:15:16,813 It's a bloody good thing we ignored it, huh? 945 01:15:55,009 --> 01:15:56,682 Hello. 946 01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,809 Hello. 947 01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:06,237 Oh, God, you're real! 948 01:16:11,942 --> 01:16:14,220 - Having fun? - Fun? 949 01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:18,683 - It's gotten totally out of control here! - I'm afraid I've been with my family. 950 01:16:18,783 --> 01:16:20,017 Is the roof leaking? 951 01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:22,996 - You have no idea what it was like. - It was worse than flying, sir. 952 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:24,772 No. 953 01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,650 - Did we just tup? - No, but it's not too far off. 954 01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:29,819 Right. Right. 955 01:16:29,919 --> 01:16:31,988 Hey, how about some champagne, huh? 956 01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:36,200 A little champagne to get our mind off the old you-know-what. 957 01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:37,677 All right? 958 01:16:38,219 --> 01:16:40,813 Oh, I usually mess this up. 959 01:16:46,811 --> 01:16:51,924 "Drink to me only with thine eyes and I will pledge with mine 960 01:16:52,024 --> 01:16:56,679 Or leave a kiss within the cup and I'll not ask for wine" 961 01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:59,098 That was so beautiful. 962 01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:02,768 - Who wrote it? - Ben Jonson. 963 01:17:02,868 --> 01:17:05,587 Oh, Ben Jonson. 964 01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:11,152 You know, whenever I hear Ben's material... 965 01:17:11,252 --> 01:17:14,655 it just makes me think about you-know-what. 966 01:17:14,755 --> 01:17:17,992 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I apologize. 967 01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:20,036 - Quote me something. - Quote? 968 01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:23,080 - Anything. To keep our minds off... - You-know-what. 969 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:24,807 Right. A quote. 970 01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:32,214 "There ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl 971 01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:36,343 To make me act so funny Make me spend my money 972 01:17:36,443 --> 01:17:40,619 Makes me feel real loose like a long-necked goose 973 01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:44,452 "Oh, baby, that's what I like" 974 01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:48,397 That's so... 975 01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:51,650 - Who wrote that? - The Big Bopper. 976 01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:54,378 Maybe you know him. He's dead, too. 977 01:17:55,171 --> 01:17:56,947 Are you sure they're gone? 978 01:17:57,047 --> 01:17:59,116 - Everyone, stay behind me. - What? 979 01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:00,951 - Stay behind him. - We have to check this place out. 980 01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:03,537 - Never seen a parapsychologist at work before. - Every inch of it. 981 01:18:03,637 --> 01:18:05,873 - The castle, grounds... - It's kind of scary down... 982 01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:06,999 Quiet! 983 01:18:07,099 --> 01:18:08,959 I doubt it will work with the Plunkett ancestors. 984 01:18:09,059 --> 01:18:12,438 - Got to try. Check outside. - They're rather unapproachable. 985 01:18:16,150 --> 01:18:17,927 Go on in. 986 01:18:18,027 --> 01:18:19,574 Quiet. 987 01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:26,769 - Oh, Sir Jack, I'm in me cups. - No. 988 01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:30,214 It's nothing. I'm really drunk. 989 01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:33,484 - No, we mustn't. - Right. 990 01:18:33,584 --> 01:18:36,428 - We should just be friends. - Yeah. 991 01:18:48,515 --> 01:18:50,017 Go! 992 01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:54,814 Halt! 993 01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,676 - Go! - How beautiful the night looks! 994 01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:01,746 I'm having the time of my life! 995 01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:12,623 Keep it down... 996 01:19:14,458 --> 01:19:16,711 Isn't it beautiful? 997 01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:20,134 Not as beautiful as you. 998 01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:27,955 Will you hold it down and listen to the paracyclist? 999 01:19:28,055 --> 01:19:33,607 I formally declare this a spirit-free zone! 1000 01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:04,533 - Now, I'm not tupping. - No. 1001 01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:06,327 I'm not tupping, right? 1002 01:20:06,427 --> 01:20:11,604 I mean, this is somewhere between a skelp and a tup, right? 1003 01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:39,276 Holy God, that's my shagging bus! 1004 01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:42,571 - This shouldn't be happening. - Not again. 1005 01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:45,345 Somebody's blowing it here. Where's Jack? 1006 01:20:46,717 --> 01:20:47,559 Sharon. 1007 01:20:50,804 --> 01:20:53,432 My darling, Sharon! 1008 01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:59,755 - No, Jack. - Okay. 1009 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,757 - We mustn't. - Okay. 1010 01:21:01,857 --> 01:21:03,175 - I can't. - You can't? 1011 01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:05,386 - It's not right. - I know, I know. 1012 01:21:05,486 --> 01:21:06,887 - Oh, that's nice. - Yeah? 1013 01:21:06,987 --> 01:21:08,430 Yeah. 1014 01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,766 I mean, no. Stop. 1015 01:21:10,866 --> 01:21:12,351 - Stop. - Oh, don't listen to me, Jack. 1016 01:21:12,451 --> 01:21:13,748 - Go on. - Go on? 1017 01:21:17,831 --> 01:21:20,442 Sharon, I love thee! 1018 01:21:20,542 --> 01:21:22,761 And tonight's bahookie night! 1019 01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:26,282 Oh, Sharon, I love thee! 1020 01:21:26,382 --> 01:21:29,285 No, Jack. Remember our promise? 1021 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:32,413 Remember? We can't. 1022 01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:34,641 A little to the right. 1023 01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:40,775 Come here, my wee beauty. Come here to me! 1024 01:21:42,523 --> 01:21:43,570 Where are you? 1025 01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:48,595 Oh, Sharon. Wait! Wait! Wait! 1026 01:21:48,695 --> 01:21:51,539 - I love you, Jack. - I love you, Mary. 1027 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:12,161 Actually, you look very like my mother. 1028 01:22:12,261 --> 01:22:14,496 Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. 1029 01:22:14,596 --> 01:22:18,459 Oh, Lord, please save this beautiful creature from these demons. 1030 01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:22,463 If a life must be taken, take mine. Take mine. 1031 01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:24,715 - Take... Yes. - Oh, no. 1032 01:22:24,815 --> 01:22:26,467 "Yea, though I walk through... 1033 01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:28,594 - the valley of the shadow of death." - Brother Tony! 1034 01:22:28,694 --> 01:22:30,304 - Goodbye, my love. - Where are you going? 1035 01:22:30,404 --> 01:22:33,408 - "I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me." - Don't leave me here, Tony! 1036 01:22:34,658 --> 01:22:37,958 My God, Jack, we shouldn't have. 1037 01:22:40,998 --> 01:22:43,501 Mary, that was something. 1038 01:22:58,432 --> 01:23:01,686 Where are you? Sharon, this isn't a joke anymore. 1039 01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:05,606 Shitehawks McGoldrick Quinn! 1040 01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,686 Mary, what's happened? 1041 01:23:19,786 --> 01:23:24,587 It's the powers, Jack. I'm 200 years old. 1042 01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:27,378 Oh, Jack... 1043 01:23:29,630 --> 01:23:31,507 Jack... 1044 01:23:35,928 --> 01:23:38,497 "He who tups with the spirit tups with the grave." 1045 01:23:38,597 --> 01:23:41,521 - Jack, don't leave me, Jack. - Mary. 1046 01:23:43,101 --> 01:23:44,603 Help me! 1047 01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:49,675 Oh, Jack! 1048 01:23:49,775 --> 01:23:51,218 Jack. 1049 01:23:51,318 --> 01:23:54,513 Jack, you just tell me you love me. 1050 01:23:54,613 --> 01:23:57,141 - Make it all right. - But you're not Mary. You're a corpse! 1051 01:23:57,241 --> 01:23:59,268 - Jack! - Now, don't do this to me, darling! 1052 01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:01,562 No! Get away from me! 1053 01:24:01,662 --> 01:24:04,711 - Jack! - Oh, bollocks! 1054 01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:08,589 Holy Jesus! 1055 01:24:13,715 --> 01:24:16,184 - Hi, Marty. - Where's the wife? 1056 01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:20,998 - Not mine, you dolt, yours! - Jack... 1057 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:23,208 I'm being followed by a UFO! 1058 01:24:23,308 --> 01:24:26,086 - Honey, it was... - Sharon! Sharon! You can't get so excited! 1059 01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:27,629 - I didn't know what was going on! - Excited? 1060 01:24:27,729 --> 01:24:30,903 - I mean, obviously... - Come here to me, you wee tupter! 1061 01:24:33,485 --> 01:24:36,889 Hiya, Mary. We're just playing around, darling, you know? 1062 01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:38,662 Jack? 1063 01:24:39,449 --> 01:24:43,079 You threw me over for this? This... 1064 01:24:44,371 --> 01:24:47,608 I mean, I knew you liked passive women, Jack, but she's half-dead. 1065 01:24:47,708 --> 01:24:49,943 I hope she has a great personality because this hurts. 1066 01:24:50,043 --> 01:24:51,570 - Well, look, at least she said she loved me. - This really hurts. 1067 01:24:51,670 --> 01:24:54,281 - That's a lot more than you ever did. - I do love you, Jack. I do. 1068 01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:56,366 You wee harlot, I'll kill you. 1069 01:24:56,466 --> 01:24:58,076 - Oh, no! Oh, no! - I'll kill you! 1070 01:24:58,176 --> 01:25:01,538 No, she looks dead enough already. Don't start that! Please don't start that! 1071 01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:03,832 It's all right, Sharon. 1072 01:25:03,932 --> 01:25:07,461 - Oh, Jack, your wife's some woman. - So is yours. 1073 01:25:07,561 --> 01:25:08,795 So was yours. 1074 01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:11,089 - Oh, Sharon. - Oh, Martin. 1075 01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:13,050 Where are you going? 1076 01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:14,301 Jack. 1077 01:25:14,401 --> 01:25:17,262 Jack, I was just kidding. 1078 01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:19,515 You were made for each other... 1079 01:25:19,615 --> 01:25:22,768 - and you look great, you really do. - It's bahookie time. 1080 01:25:22,868 --> 01:25:24,561 Jack... 1081 01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:29,007 Bye, Mary. Sorry for the last 200 years, darling. 1082 01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:33,675 Jack, you said you'd love me forever. 1083 01:25:34,671 --> 01:25:37,950 I know. I know. I know, Mary, I just... 1084 01:25:38,050 --> 01:25:41,036 You were... You were so different then. 1085 01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:43,730 Only on the outside, Jack. 1086 01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:46,375 Inside, I'm the same. 1087 01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:51,296 I know. I know looks aren't everything. 1088 01:25:51,396 --> 01:25:54,174 - I'm in here, Jack. - It's just that they can help so much... 1089 01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:56,426 - when you... - Jack, kiss me. 1090 01:25:56,526 --> 01:25:58,369 Kiss you? 1091 01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:02,099 - Maybe we should get some moisturizer. - Kiss me, Jack. 1092 01:26:02,199 --> 01:26:05,794 Or some medical supervision or something. 1093 01:26:09,039 --> 01:26:10,882 Please, Jack. 1094 01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:23,680 Stop, let me catch my breath. Martin, where are you? 1095 01:26:29,101 --> 01:26:31,570 Martin, wait! Don't go! 1096 01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:37,718 - Sharon! Sharon! - How the hell did you get up there? 1097 01:26:37,818 --> 01:26:40,662 No, no! Don't go, Martin! No, wait! Wait! 1098 01:26:54,042 --> 01:26:56,215 Sharon! 1099 01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:59,072 I'm in here, love! 1100 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:01,220 Martin, where are you? 1101 01:27:03,009 --> 01:27:05,078 - Oh, Martin. - Oh, Sharon. 1102 01:27:05,178 --> 01:27:07,581 - You do love me, don't you? - Oh, yes. 1103 01:27:07,681 --> 01:27:11,376 - You do love me, Sir Jack? - Yeah. 1104 01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:13,649 Then look at me. 1105 01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:18,008 Well, then, be with me, be with me forever. 1106 01:27:18,108 --> 01:27:20,327 Any way you want it. 1107 01:27:26,908 --> 01:27:28,501 Sharon? 1108 01:27:29,661 --> 01:27:32,039 Mary. Mary! 1109 01:27:41,298 --> 01:27:42,845 Sharon... 1110 01:27:44,009 --> 01:27:45,636 Sharon. 1111 01:27:47,012 --> 01:27:50,082 Oh, Sharon... Oh, Sharon. 1112 01:27:50,182 --> 01:27:52,105 Oh, my God. 1113 01:27:53,226 --> 01:27:54,836 Oh, God. 1114 01:27:54,936 --> 01:27:58,031 Oh, what have I... What have I done? 1115 01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:04,096 You weren't meant for this. I don't want this to happen. 1116 01:28:04,196 --> 01:28:06,073 Oh, God... 1117 01:28:06,907 --> 01:28:08,625 Sharon... 1118 01:28:18,543 --> 01:28:20,637 Forever, Jack. 1119 01:28:35,185 --> 01:28:37,984 - You're alive. - Aye. 1120 01:28:51,493 --> 01:28:57,466 - What do you mean I'm dead? - Now, take my word for it. 1121 01:28:57,999 --> 01:29:01,903 Oh, you're just saying that so you can have your wicked way with me. 1122 01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:06,158 Sure, if you weren't dead, I wouldn't be able to have my way with you. 1123 01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,306 This is ridiculous. 1124 01:29:17,978 --> 01:29:22,324 You can't hide from me. I can find you. 1125 01:29:27,153 --> 01:29:29,806 - You can't fool me. - They're gone. 1126 01:29:29,906 --> 01:29:31,975 - Here, file that. - Malcolm! 1127 01:29:32,075 --> 01:29:35,249 - They're gone! - They're not gone. 1128 01:30:12,198 --> 01:30:14,142 Brother Tony, you forgot your collar. 1129 01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:18,213 No, he didn't. He threw it away. Didn't you, baby? 1130 01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,717 I'm only human. 1131 01:30:30,133 --> 01:30:33,370 Mr. Plunkett, single-handedly the worst vacation that I've ever experienced in my life. 1132 01:30:33,470 --> 01:30:36,373 - Thank you, Mr. Clay. - However, I'll recommend Castle Plunkett... 1133 01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:39,501 as the most haunted castle in the Western Hemisphere. 1134 01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:41,503 I hope that helps you with your business. 1135 01:30:41,603 --> 01:30:43,588 - You're too kind. - I second that. 1136 01:30:43,688 --> 01:30:45,531 Most gracious. 1137 01:30:50,862 --> 01:30:52,990 - Bye! - See you! 1138 01:30:59,829 --> 01:31:01,206 They're gone, dear. 1139 01:31:10,882 --> 01:31:13,806 Come on, Eamon. I'll make you a nice fish sandwich. 1140 01:31:36,741 --> 01:31:40,103 I cannot thank you enough, Sir Jack, for deciding to stay. 1141 01:31:40,203 --> 01:31:42,230 Oh, hey, where am I gonna go, right? 1142 01:31:42,330 --> 01:31:45,901 And listen, Mary, when are you gonna stop calling me "sir"? 1143 01:31:46,001 --> 01:31:47,944 Sorry, I can't help it. 1144 01:31:48,044 --> 01:31:51,156 Well, maybe when you decide to marry me. 1145 01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:52,824 Are you asking? 1146 01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:57,871 Well, my wife's hardly dead, and it was such a horrible death. 1147 01:31:57,971 --> 01:32:01,225 Maybe we could wait a couple of centuries or... 1148 01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:05,545 - Oh, God. - Hey! Hey! Hey! 1149 01:32:05,645 --> 01:32:08,423 We booked the hall till 12:00. How about a little privacy? 1150 01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:11,509 The day is for the living, Jack. 1151 01:32:11,609 --> 01:32:14,328 The night is for the dead. 1152 01:32:15,447 --> 01:32:17,641 - How's the corpse? - Pretty good. 1153 01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:19,976 - How's the psycho? - Pussycat. 1154 01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:22,854 - So, was the trip worth it, Jack? - Yeah. Yeah. 1155 01:32:22,954 --> 01:32:24,439 She thinks I'm brilliant. 1156 01:32:24,539 --> 01:32:27,275 Well, Mary, you put on a wee bit of flesh since I last saw you. 1157 01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:29,402 I'm not getting stabbed every night anymore. 1158 01:32:29,502 --> 01:32:33,823 - Mary, it hurt me more than it hurt you. - Go on now with it. 1159 01:32:33,923 --> 01:32:36,267 So, how's the Yank? 1160 01:32:36,801 --> 01:32:40,038 - He takes me shopping. - Come here to me. 1161 01:32:40,138 --> 01:32:43,483 My love. My reason for dying. 1162 01:32:45,101 --> 01:32:47,712 How'd she ever learn to dance like that? 1163 01:32:47,812 --> 01:32:50,156 Happiness, Sir Jack. 1164 01:32:50,774 --> 01:32:53,197 Yeah. Happiness. 89159