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1
00:00:10,125 --> 00:00:12,844
What's going on?
I've got an appointment in 20 minutes.
2
00:00:13,086 --> 00:00:17,125
Some weenie complained so nowthey
clean the milk steamer after every use.
3
00:00:17,466 --> 00:00:19,297
It was you, wasn't it?
4
00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:23,783
If requesting basic sanitary procedures
makes me a weenie, then a weenie be I.
5
00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:26,050
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Roz.
6
00:00:26,308 --> 00:00:30,062
Frasier, what stupid suggestion
did you make this time?
7
00:00:30,395 --> 00:00:32,545
Nice to see you, too, Roz.
8
00:00:32,814 --> 00:00:37,205
Sorry. I just spent two hours trying on
jumbo formal wear for the SeaBea Awards.
9
00:00:38,654 --> 00:00:43,603
The size two salesgirl said I could
use this again after my pregnancy.
10
00:00:45,494 --> 00:00:50,249
Well, perhaps you could cut off
the bow, remove the sleeves, and...
11
00:00:50,624 --> 00:00:53,138
Stick a pole in it and go camping.
12
00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:55,727
If I'm gonna stick a pole someplace...
13
00:00:56,004 --> 00:00:57,403
Children.
14
00:00:57,631 --> 00:01:01,067
- Coffee to go. Black.
- I am looking forward to the SeaBeas.
15
00:01:01,385 --> 00:01:04,263
Why? You won't win.
They never give it to the MC.
16
00:01:04,555 --> 00:01:08,264
- Now, me... I'm a lock.
- You're awfully cocky.
17
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,434
If knowing I'm the best thing on the
air makes me cocky, then cocky be I.
18
00:01:12,771 --> 00:01:15,239
You're not the only one
who can talk classy.
19
00:01:15,524 --> 00:01:19,039
- How is that talking like Lassie?
- Let's just move on, shall we?
20
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,555
Roz, that man, he's got a gun.
21
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:27,327
He's got a gun.
22
00:01:30,539 --> 00:01:32,257
- Roz, are you all right?
- Yeah.
23
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,878
Bulldog, I can't believe you did that.
24
00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:39,320
- You saved me.
- I did what anyone would have done.
25
00:01:40,507 --> 00:01:42,816
- You were so brave.
- You're a hero.
26
00:01:43,468 --> 00:01:44,457
Close enough.
27
00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:54,207
Excuse me, will you hold that, please?
28
00:01:55,272 --> 00:01:57,740
- Niles.
- I was on my way up to see you.
29
00:01:58,775 --> 00:02:02,973
Niles, what have we determined about
your success with impulse purchases?
30
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:07,751
- The salesman said I could pull it off.
- My suggestion exactly.
31
00:02:10,871 --> 00:02:14,910
- Fine. Frasier, ask me if I have news.
- I've got some news of my own.
32
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:18,606
In the cafe today... For God's sake.
Niles, do you have news?
33
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:22,277
First, congratulations
on your SeaBea nomination.
34
00:02:22,591 --> 00:02:25,469
- Now congratulate me on mine.
- What?
35
00:02:25,761 --> 00:02:28,195
Ifyou'd bothered
to look past your own name,
36
00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:31,225
you would've found mine right after it
on page...
37
00:02:34,519 --> 00:02:35,508
...fifteen.
38
00:02:37,564 --> 00:02:40,317
"Best Performance by a Guest
on an Information Show. "
39
00:02:40,609 --> 00:02:42,600
It's for that spot I did on KJSB
40
00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:47,419
when I discussed the psychological
effects of long-term inclement weather.
41
00:02:47,783 --> 00:02:50,741
30 minutes of psycho-babble,
reducible to one phrase,
42
00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:53,027
"Rain, rain, go away".
43
00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:56,246
I'm not surprised
you've belittled my nomination.
44
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:59,818
In your mind, you're the success.
I'm just invisible.
45
00:03:00,128 --> 00:03:02,722
That's not the way
the rest of the world sees it.
46
00:03:03,924 --> 00:03:09,362
- Frasier, boy, am I glad to see you.
- Dr Crane, thank goodness you're home.
47
00:03:09,763 --> 00:03:11,754
I'm also here.
48
00:03:13,058 --> 00:03:16,687
- We heard what happened.
- Niles, as I was trying to tell you,
49
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,614
there was an attempted armed robbery
at the cafe.
50
00:03:19,898 --> 00:03:22,810
- Was anyone hurt?
- No, it was all diffused quickly.
51
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:25,101
Tempest in a teapot, really.
52
00:03:25,362 --> 00:03:28,718
On a more pleasant topic,
this afternoon I found out...
53
00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:31,626
Niles, hold it.
How did you two hear about it?
54
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:35,346
- On the news.
- Bulldog really saved the day.
55
00:03:35,664 --> 00:03:39,134
- They said that on the news?
- How he swept Roz out of the way,
56
00:03:39,459 --> 00:03:42,292
and then threw his hot coffee
on the gunman.
57
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:45,898
That's not how it happened at all.
Why would he say such a thing?
58
00:03:46,216 --> 00:03:49,492
It was drizzling today
and people act strangely when it rains,
59
00:03:49,803 --> 00:03:52,795
- as I pointed out in my SeaBea...
- Shut up, Niles.
60
00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:55,453
Well, then, what did happen?
61
00:03:55,726 --> 00:03:57,717
We were standing at the counter...
62
00:03:57,978 --> 00:04:01,368
...when I noticed a man with a gun.
I warned Roz.
63
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:05,239
Bulldog saw a different man
and thought he was the gunman.
64
00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:10,120
That's when he grabbed Roz and held her
in front of him as a human shield.
65
00:04:10,490 --> 00:04:16,201
But as he did that, he knocked
his coffee onto the actual gunman,
66
00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:19,090
causing him to drop his weapon
and run out.
67
00:04:19,374 --> 00:04:22,093
- No one else saw that happen?
- Apparently not.
68
00:04:22,377 --> 00:04:24,845
I can't believe Bulldog would use Roz.
69
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:29,043
- Why didn't you say anything?
- I was relieved everyone was all right.
70
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:31,852
It did irk me
when everyone was praising him.
71
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:35,686
The owner ofthe cafe promised him
a lifetime supply of muffins.
72
00:04:36,016 --> 00:04:40,009
I never thought it would go this far.
I neverthought I'd hear it on the news.
73
00:04:40,354 --> 00:04:43,744
I wonder how much that would be,
a lifetime supply of muffins.
74
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,421
I'm not going to let Bulldog
get away with it.
75
00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:50,891
I've never seen Bulldog eat a muffin.
It would be wasted on him.
76
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:55,119
- I'll tell him I saw what happened.
- Now me, I could eat a muffin a day,
77
00:04:55,452 --> 00:04:58,330
some days even two
knowing they'd be free.
78
00:04:58,622 --> 00:05:03,412
So that's maybe ten a week, 52 weeks
a year, for at least another 40 years,
79
00:05:03,794 --> 00:05:05,785
which works out to...
80
00:05:08,799 --> 00:05:11,313
...20,000 muffins.
81
00:05:11,593 --> 00:05:15,381
My life suddenly seems long
measured in muffins.
82
00:05:15,722 --> 00:05:20,591
Daphne, there are a lot of things
that can make life suddenly seem long.
83
00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:29,331
That's all the time we have for today.
Good afternoon, Seattle
84
00:05:29,653 --> 00:05:31,609
and good mental health.
85
00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:36,171
- Did you see Bulldog come in?
- No, I've been looking for him myself.
86
00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:38,085
Stop that. They're for him.
87
00:05:38,328 --> 00:05:41,161
- Do you think he had anything...
- There he is.
88
00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:46,325
Enough hero worship.
89
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:49,579
I take my pants off one leg at a time
like everybody else.
90
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:53,158
You can vouch for that,
can't you, Myrna?
91
00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:55,459
I made these cookies for you.
92
00:05:55,721 --> 00:06:00,237
I already had a bunch of muffins
but there's always room for a cookie.
93
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,637
- Where's the milk?
- Coming right up.
94
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,512
- Hello, Bulldog.
- Hey, Doc.
95
00:06:06,773 --> 00:06:11,130
This hero stuff is the best.
Hey, last night, sisters.
96
00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:13,477
At one point I was a hero sandwich.
97
00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:17,057
Get it?
They were the bread, and I was...
98
00:06:17,326 --> 00:06:22,241
Yes, I got it. Just drop it.
I saw what you did yesterday.
99
00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:26,377
- I saved your butt.
- Saved my butt, my ass.
100
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:30,339
You pulled Roz in front ofyou
to protect yourself.
101
00:06:30,672 --> 00:06:33,232
That stinks. That's total BS.
102
00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:36,500
I'm a hero. I'm a brave man.
103
00:06:38,555 --> 00:06:40,785
You're not going to tell, are you?
104
00:06:41,058 --> 00:06:43,333
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.
105
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:46,036
You like muffins?
106
00:06:46,730 --> 00:06:49,802
I was determined to expose you
but I don't have to.
107
00:06:50,108 --> 00:06:55,136
You'll do it yourself because
"a guilty conscience needs no accuser".
108
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,522
That means you won't tell?
109
00:06:58,825 --> 00:07:01,783
Once again, I don't have to
110
00:07:02,079 --> 00:07:05,515
because "a guilty conscience
sleeps in thunder".
111
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:10,303
- It means I won't tell.
- 20 seconds, Bulldog.
112
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:14,907
I'm fascinated as a psychiatrist
to watch this little experiment.
113
00:07:15,259 --> 00:07:18,012
I know that you feel bad
about what you've done
114
00:07:18,303 --> 00:07:21,261
and you'll feel worse
every time you capitalise on it.
115
00:07:21,557 --> 00:07:24,674
How long before your conscience
overwhelms you?
116
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,811
Sports fans, this is Bob "Bulldog"
Brisco. You're in the doghouse.
117
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,138
Let's go to the phones.
118
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,710
This is Roz Doyle
and I have some very exciting news.
119
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:36,939
Each year at the SeaBea Awards,
120
00:07:37,197 --> 00:07:41,588
a radio personality receives the Harold
Hirschauer "Man of the Year" award,
121
00:07:41,952 --> 00:07:45,069
and this year our winner
is our very own Bulldog Brisco,
122
00:07:45,372 --> 00:07:49,251
who was chosen for his heroism.
Congratulations, Bulldog.
123
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,258
Well, what do you say to that, hero?
124
00:07:52,546 --> 00:07:54,537
This is incredible.
125
00:07:54,798 --> 00:07:59,474
I really feel honoured
but I've got to clear something up.
126
00:08:00,596 --> 00:08:04,635
Yesterday at the cafe, this young lady
kept coming up to me and saying,
127
00:08:04,975 --> 00:08:10,003
"You're my hero. How can I ever thank
you?" Well, I got a confession to make.
128
00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:16,548
I lost your number, but if call in,
I got an answer for you.
129
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:28,457
OK, I'm ready. Go ahead, Daphne.
130
00:08:28,749 --> 00:08:30,785
And the SeaBea goes to...
131
00:08:35,172 --> 00:08:37,163
...Dr Niles Crane.
132
00:08:44,973 --> 00:08:47,612
- Congratulations.
- Thank you. To be accurate,
133
00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:51,568
it's traditional for the presenter
to kiss and embrace the winner.
134
00:08:51,897 --> 00:08:55,890
- Won't your brother be the presenter?
- We can't know that for certain.
135
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,949
Hello, Dr Crane. We're just
practising for Saturday night.
136
00:09:02,282 --> 00:09:05,001
- Best case scenario.
- Obviously.
137
00:09:08,455 --> 00:09:10,446
- Daph, your pie's done.
- Thanks.
138
00:09:10,707 --> 00:09:13,904
- Will you be joining us for dessert?
- No, thank you.
139
00:09:14,211 --> 00:09:16,884
- I'm not hungry.
- Where have you been?
140
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:21,290
Driving around. Thinking. I can't
get this Bulldog thing off my mind.
141
00:09:21,635 --> 00:09:24,832
Don't worry about it.
We all get obsessed sometimes.
142
00:09:25,138 --> 00:09:28,414
Just drop it
before you startyakking on about it
143
00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:31,717
to someone who doesn't give a rat's ass.
144
00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:40,605
Is that your way of saying
you don't want to discuss it?
145
00:09:40,904 --> 00:09:44,294
You want to take the direct route?
146
00:09:44,616 --> 00:09:46,686
Why do you care so much about Bulldog?
147
00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:50,786
It's not really Bulldog so much.
I just believe that conscience,
148
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,957
more than customs and laws, is what
prevents people from doing wrong.
149
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:58,411
To contemplate
a sane man with no conscience,
150
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:00,830
it shakes my entire world view.
151
00:10:01,091 --> 00:10:05,004
In my family conscience is what
my dad called his wooden paddle.
152
00:10:05,345 --> 00:10:07,336
How awful for you.
153
00:10:07,598 --> 00:10:10,590
For me brothers, yes,
but I knew he'd never use it on me.
154
00:10:10,893 --> 00:10:14,772
As long as I was always good.
As long as I was always polite.
155
00:10:15,105 --> 00:10:18,461
As long as I always had a smile
on me face, no matter how I felt.
156
00:10:18,775 --> 00:10:22,131
As long as I was always ready
to wait on the men, hand and foot,
157
00:10:22,446 --> 00:10:24,755
day and night, year in, year out.
158
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,498
- More coffee, anyone?
- No, just have a seat.
159
00:10:29,786 --> 00:10:31,981
Here, I'll pour for you.
160
00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:36,422
I can't understand how Bulldog
can accept all those accolades
161
00:10:36,752 --> 00:10:39,312
- and not be tormented by it.
- Maybe he is.
162
00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:43,547
For all you know, he's at home
pacing the floor, unable to sleep.
163
00:10:44,676 --> 00:10:47,395
That's a comforting thought, Niles.
164
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:51,354
But we'll never know for sure, will we?
Well, enough about this.
165
00:10:51,683 --> 00:10:55,232
You know, I think I'm offto bed.
Night, all.
166
00:10:56,438 --> 00:11:01,114
I'm proud of Fras. Used to be he'd get a
bee in his bonnet and never get it out.
167
00:11:01,485 --> 00:11:05,797
- Thought we'd hear about it for weeks.
- He would've been up all night.
168
00:11:06,156 --> 00:11:08,147
He wouldn't have been able to sleep
169
00:11:08,408 --> 00:11:12,037
until he went over to Bulldog's
to make sure he wasn't sleeping.
170
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,885
I should've told him
to pick up some more milk.
171
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,995
- What are you doing here?
- I want to talk to you.
172
00:11:34,268 --> 00:11:37,340
This isn't a good time. I got company.
173
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:41,275
You have done something horrible
and I need to know you feel bad.
174
00:11:41,608 --> 00:11:43,883
You been looking
through the keyhole?
175
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:46,871
I'm talking
aboutwhat happened with Roz.
176
00:11:47,155 --> 00:11:50,033
- Not this again.
- Bulldog, I'm lonely.
177
00:11:50,325 --> 00:11:53,601
Talk to your sister for a sec.
I'll be right there.
178
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:56,346
- I've got to go.
- Bulldog.
179
00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:02,838
- Stop that.
- I need to know that you feel remorse.
180
00:12:03,171 --> 00:12:05,446
This is really bugging you.
181
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:08,541
Well, OK, all right.
182
00:12:08,802 --> 00:12:13,398
The truth is I feel bad.
I feel real bad.
183
00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:16,924
You feel nothing.
184
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:20,776
These little things
just don't get to me.
185
00:12:21,064 --> 00:12:25,137
The little thing in question is using
a pregnantwoman as a human shield.
186
00:12:25,485 --> 00:12:27,476
- Have you no conscience?
- Maybe not.
187
00:12:27,738 --> 00:12:29,729
I refuse to believe that.
188
00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:32,550
Maybe I was born without.
Like my cousin.
189
00:12:32,826 --> 00:12:35,340
He was born
without a big toe on each foot.
190
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,976
I used to sneak up on him,
tip him over.
191
00:12:38,707 --> 00:12:41,380
I didn't feel bad about that either.
See you.
192
00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:44,057
No, I know you've got a conscience.
193
00:12:44,338 --> 00:12:47,774
It's buried deep down inside.
I will get it out ofyou.
194
00:12:48,091 --> 00:12:51,322
You mark my words, I don't know
how yet, but Saturday night,
195
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,673
you will be so consumed with guilt,
196
00:12:53,931 --> 00:12:56,889
you won't be able to accept
that Man ofthe Year award.
197
00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:06,211
Daphne.
198
00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:09,955
- You're gorgeous.
- Thank you.
199
00:13:10,197 --> 00:13:12,108
Dad, not bad, either.
200
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:15,199
Thanks. I guess any guy
looks good in a monkey suit.
201
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:18,804
On the drive I was musing
about why they call it a monkey suit.
202
00:13:19,122 --> 00:13:22,000
- I had quite a few theories.
- She sure did.
203
00:13:22,292 --> 00:13:24,283
Can I get a ride home with you?
204
00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:29,497
Roz, is everything all right?
205
00:13:29,758 --> 00:13:33,671
Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that my hair
is huge and this dress is a joke.
206
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:36,003
No, nonsense, Roz. You look divine.
207
00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:38,859
No, I look like Divine.
208
00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:42,953
I've got to go sit down.
209
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:49,403
Look at the way the lights are shining
on the sequins on this dress.
210
00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:52,223
I'm a disco ball.
211
00:13:54,741 --> 00:13:57,209
It certainly promises
to be quite a night.
212
00:13:57,494 --> 00:14:00,008
I'm glad to see
you're enjoying yourself.
213
00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:03,599
I wasn't sure you would
with Bulldog getting that award.
214
00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:06,954
I wouldn't be surprised if Bulldog
declines that award.
215
00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:08,482
Why would he?
216
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:11,626
I've arranged a few surprises
to prick his conscience.
217
00:14:11,925 --> 00:14:15,281
Until, like Hamlet's stepfather,
he totters from the banquet,
218
00:14:15,596 --> 00:14:17,985
ghostly pale and gibbering with guilt.
219
00:14:18,265 --> 00:14:20,574
Could I get a ride home with you?
220
00:14:24,438 --> 00:14:25,951
- Niles.
- Hello, all.
221
00:14:26,189 --> 00:14:28,339
Daphne, you look stunning.
222
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:31,169
Thanks. You look very smart.
223
00:14:31,445 --> 00:14:35,358
Thank you. Of course, I guess it's hard
not to look elegant in evening wear.
224
00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:42,350
Hard, but not impossible.
225
00:14:42,623 --> 00:14:44,614
Shall we take our seats?
226
00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:48,470
Yes, although if Dame Rumour is correct,
I won't be sitting long.
227
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:51,389
Listen, now are we all at table 105?
228
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,823
We're at table four.
229
00:14:54,092 --> 00:14:56,401
Excuse me. Where is this table?
230
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:59,590
105. That's the technical awards.
231
00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:04,281
Go down to the basement, through the
kitchen and ask for the Napoleon Room.
232
00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:07,398
The Napoleon Room.
That's sounds charming.
233
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:10,681
We call it that
cause the ceilings are so low.
234
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:15,576
Shame. Now you won't
get to see your brother host
235
00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:18,822
or hear all the little jokes
he's written.
236
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:22,333
Thank you, Daphne.
I needed some cheering up.
237
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,837
- Bulldog.
- Let's go this way.
238
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:33,716
No need to avoid me. I have
no intention of ruining your evening.
239
00:15:34,049 --> 00:15:38,122
- In fact, it's going to be memorable.
- You been sleeping OK?
240
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:43,260
Don't you worry about me. I'll sleep
fine tonight. The sleep of the just.
241
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,236
Me, too. The sleep ofthe just-boinked.
242
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:52,409
And the nominees are...
Consumer Forum.
243
00:15:52,693 --> 00:15:56,049
Wendy Yashiro, talent,
Mike Freedman, producer.
244
00:15:57,322 --> 00:15:59,313
The Dr Frasier Crane Show.
245
00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:02,772
Dr Frasier Crane, talent,
Roz Doyle, producer.
246
00:16:04,955 --> 00:16:07,788
And Bob and Nipsey's
Morning Laugh Factory.
247
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:11,519
Bob and Nipsey, talent,
Lunatic Larry, producer.
248
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,484
And the SeaBea goes to...
249
00:16:23,473 --> 00:16:25,782
Bob and Nipsey's
Morning Laugh Factory.
250
00:16:27,227 --> 00:16:29,866
Bob and Nipsey
couldn't make it tonight,
251
00:16:30,147 --> 00:16:33,457
so I accept this award on their behalf.
252
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,608
That brings us to our final category.
253
00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:41,261
But let's take a short break
and we'll be right back
254
00:16:41,617 --> 00:16:44,336
with the Man of the Year award.
255
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:49,984
Sorry you didn't win.
256
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:54,327
That's all right. I'm only concerned
with one award tonight. The next one.
257
00:16:54,838 --> 00:16:57,830
- Hey, Dr Crane, how did it go?
- I lost.
258
00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:03,286
Sorry you didn't win.
I've been saying that a lot tonight.
259
00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:07,348
Look, wine. They didn't serve alcohol
at the technical awards,
260
00:17:07,684 --> 00:17:13,077
as I informed so many ofthe guests
who mistook me for their waiter.
261
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:16,155
I was the only nominee
dressed in black tie,
262
00:17:16,443 --> 00:17:20,152
except for the one man in front
wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.
263
00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:24,198
- I'm sorry, Niles.
- I didn't come home empty-handed.
264
00:17:24,535 --> 00:17:26,890
We received one of these certificates,
265
00:17:27,162 --> 00:17:31,155
given out after we'd folded our tables
and stacked our chairs.
266
00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:36,096
Welcome back.
267
00:17:36,338 --> 00:17:42,095
The time has come to present the
Harold Hirschauer Man of the Year Award.
268
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,342
Thank you, Susan.
269
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:48,953
As you all know, this award is presented
every year to the radio personality
270
00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:52,699
that brings honour to our medium.
271
00:17:53,564 --> 00:17:57,921
This year that person is Bob "Bulldog"
Brisco. Come on up here, Bulldog.
272
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,231
What a night, huh?
273
00:18:05,576 --> 00:18:08,852
Bob, the night
is just beginning for you.
274
00:18:09,162 --> 00:18:12,871
Could we please lowerthe house lights?
275
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:14,527
What's going on?
276
00:18:14,751 --> 00:18:18,539
A few surprise guests that
I've invited to help you celebrate.
277
00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:23,591
People from your past that helped
make you the man that you are today.
278
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,954
Do you recognise this voice?
279
00:18:28,265 --> 00:18:31,416
Bobby Brisco,
you have made us all proud.
280
00:18:31,727 --> 00:18:33,285
Oh, my gosh. Is that...?
281
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:38,640
Yes. It's Father O'Rourke, your boyhood
priest and childhood confessor.
282
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,812
And who's there next to him?
283
00:18:45,073 --> 00:18:47,746
Bobby Brisco, sit down in your chair.
284
00:18:48,035 --> 00:18:51,311
That's right. It's Mrs McCloud,
your second grade teacher,
285
00:18:51,622 --> 00:18:54,739
the woman who taught you
that honesty is the best policy.
286
00:18:58,086 --> 00:19:02,045
- Who's that next to her?
- Drop and give me fifty, Bulldog.
287
00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:03,895
Coach Nuge?
288
00:19:04,134 --> 00:19:06,694
Coach Nugent
from your Pee Wee football days.
289
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,928
He taught you it doesn't matter
whether you win or lose
290
00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:13,057
- but that you play fair.
- You're wasting your time.
291
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:18,790
And who's that next to him?
It's the president ofyour fan club,
292
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:23,662
little Joey Katona, whose only dream
is to grow up and be just like you.
293
00:19:27,658 --> 00:19:29,649
But we're not through yet.
294
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:33,008
Could we please
bring the house lights up again?
295
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:41,510
We've saved the best for last. It's
the woman that gave everything to you.
296
00:19:41,922 --> 00:19:43,913
You ought to know that one, Deb.
297
00:19:46,969 --> 00:19:49,847
The night would not be complete
298
00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:54,211
without the woman who taught you
right from wrong.
299
00:19:55,602 --> 00:19:58,070
It's your mother, Bernice Brisco.
300
00:20:00,691 --> 00:20:01,680
Mom!
301
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,733
- I am so proud ofyou, Bobby.
- Oh, Mom.
302
00:20:05,779 --> 00:20:09,328
Let's turn the microphone over
to our guest of honour this evening.
303
00:20:09,658 --> 00:20:12,934
I'm sure we're all anxious
to hear what the hero has to say.
304
00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:20,578
I'm really blown away by all this.
305
00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:25,647
I didn't think I'd be accepting this
in front of all you guys.
306
00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:29,189
I wrote up this little speech.
307
00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:32,378
I can't say this stuff now.
308
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:36,802
What I've got to say is simple.
309
00:20:38,729 --> 00:20:41,448
This is totally awesome.
Thank you, everybody.
310
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:52,249
- This can't be happening.
- Let it go.
311
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:55,844
I can't. The man is a coward
and he's being rewarded.
312
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:59,394
- I'll never hear the end of this.
- No. I'm sorry, Dad.
313
00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:01,938
Bulldog, there's a guy there with a gun.
314
00:21:02,211 --> 00:21:03,724
There's a gun.
315
00:21:05,589 --> 00:21:06,942
Sorry, my mistake.
316
00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:10,052
He used his own mother
to protect himself.
317
00:21:10,344 --> 00:21:13,495
- Isn't that what you did to me?
- No, I just... No.
318
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:18,435
- What is the matter with you?
- You don't deserve that award.
319
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,497
Thanks, Dad.
320
00:21:20,729 --> 00:21:23,687
I'm no hero.
I just wanted you to shut up.
27534
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