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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,385 ♪ Let's make the whole year Christmas ♪ 2 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:14,889 ♪ No reason to forget this feeling we're feeling now ♪ 3 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,392 ♪ We gotta keep it going all year 'round ♪ 4 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,436 Hey, can one of you hand me the stapler? 5 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,562 Actually, I think I got... 6 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,230 I can't... I'm... whoa! 7 00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:24,649 - Holy shit. - Are you okay? 8 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,192 - I'm good. - Hey, don't you think 9 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,527 we have enough decorations? 10 00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,963 I know I went a little overboard. 11 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,572 I just really love Christmas. 12 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,490 I mean, winter holidays. 13 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,367 Dude, it's okay to say Christmas. 14 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,827 No, that was exclusionist. 15 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,162 I love winter holidays. 16 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,247 Damn, those chlamydia pills are huge. 17 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,750 Is that a normal dose or do you just have high bacteria load? 18 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,193 We're not having this discussion. 19 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,128 I didn't know lesbians could get STIs. 20 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,796 Bela, that's so offensive. 21 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,090 Although I didn't know that was a possibility, either. 22 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,258 Okay. They can. 23 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:51,551 I did. End of talk. 24 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:52,778 Hey, have you at least told the girls 25 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,179 you were with last week? 26 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:55,906 I'm treating them how I want to be treated... 27 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,891 By fully ignoring it and taking a pill in peace. 28 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,267 Leighton Murray. 29 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,828 Look, one of those girls gave it to me, 30 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:01,978 and I didn't get a call. 31 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:03,354 I'm just following their lead. 32 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,438 I'm with you. 33 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,541 You don't owe them anything. 34 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,775 One of them bugged your bits. 35 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,127 If I were you, I would write them 36 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,111 - a nice, handwritten note. - Nuh-uh. 37 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,738 I'd call so it's not in writing. 38 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,257 If anything, just send them a clap emoji, 39 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:14,633 a taco emoji, and then a peace sign. 40 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:15,801 - They'll get it. - All right. 41 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,160 This is not up for discussion. 42 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,454 Everyone stop talking about my "va-zhoon." 43 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,705 Are you irritated? 44 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,165 Is it flaring up? 45 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,210 Ooh, that's a yes. 46 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:26,461 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 47 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:28,129 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 48 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,297 ♪ Wrap it up in ribbon ♪ 49 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,507 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 50 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,800 ♪ Put a bow on it ♪ 51 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,218 Ladies, I just talked to my rep 52 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,820 from the fertility clinic on the phone, 53 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:35,946 and you'll never believe it. 54 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,514 Her name is Kimberly, too. 55 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,224 Because it's a very common name. 56 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,518 She and I had a great big laugh about it. 57 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,912 You still feeling good about the whole 58 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:43,978 selling your eggs thing? 59 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,438 Yeah, I'm actually excited. 60 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,816 The past few months have been so stressful, 61 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,400 and I can't wait to get through this 62 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,153 and feel like a normal college student again. 63 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,404 I'm really happy for you. 64 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,488 Thanks. 65 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,552 Is that noise coming from Jackson's room? 66 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,578 Yeah, it's been happening for a while. 67 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,455 It sounds more mechanical than usual. 68 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,998 Shh, shh, shh. Let me listen. 69 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,500 I have perfect pitch for vibrators. 70 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,839 - I think it's the Kyro Wand. - Hmm. 71 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,258 Well, he's rudely not responding to text messages 72 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,801 or knocking. I'll handle this. 73 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,511 Oh, but what if he's with someone? 74 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,762 Is she... 75 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,906 I think I'm going to go with her. 76 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:19,970 Yeah, I'm going go, too, 77 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,224 for emotional support. 78 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,475 Okay. 79 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,730 ♪ Low tide ♪ 80 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:34,195 ♪ Been risin' up the side of my house ♪ 81 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,197 - ♪ I'm pacing ♪ - Oh, hey. 82 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,198 - Hey. - Hey. 83 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,199 - Hey. - Hey. 84 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,534 What's up? 85 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,035 Um, it's a bit loud in here. 86 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,119 Could you keep it down? 87 00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,621 Yeah, sorry about that. 88 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,873 I just finished. 89 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,167 You and me both. 90 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,043 - Okay, bye. - Okay, bye. 91 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,712 See you. 92 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,439 Why was that the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen? 93 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:53,816 I didn't know backs had that many muscles. 94 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,216 - Okay. - Can you guys shut up? 95 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,610 I'm trying to bring that image in for later. 96 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,052 - Hey. - Okay, that'll help. 97 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,738 Kimberly, have you looked at the reading list 98 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,740 - for Irish lit this week? - Yeah, it's way too much. 99 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,392 What does the professor think we are, a bunch of, like... 100 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:06,978 ♪ I heard your call from so far away ♪ 101 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,980 Like, people who can read fast? 102 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,231 Yeah. I know. 103 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,458 I was hoping we could split it up. 104 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,734 Maybe we could both read some 105 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,128 and fill each other in on the rest? 106 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,528 Yeah, that's, uh, really smart. 107 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,738 Let's totally do that. 108 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,072 Great. 109 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,490 Oh, my God. 110 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:22,076 Hmm. 111 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,929 - "That's really smart. - Let's totally do that" 112 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,330 - Let's totally. - Such a nerd. 113 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,456 Let's do that. 114 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,418 ♪ I called you baby ♪ 115 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,171 So what time are you having sex with Jackson tonight? 116 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,857 I got to charge my noise-canceling headphones. 117 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,132 We're just studying together. 118 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,675 That was a platonic study invite. 119 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,093 Yeah, but it's Jackson. 120 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,113 One time I saw a girl go into his room with a book 121 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,180 and come out with a limp. 122 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,490 You deserve to have some fun. 123 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:44,794 Let him drill you into that wall 124 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,100 like you're the TV. 125 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,328 Do you guys really think he's trying 126 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,062 to have a sexy study date? 127 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,355 - Yes. - Absolutely. 128 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,940 Better go put on a sexier bra. 129 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,316 And not the beige one. 130 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,276 The options are beige, Lima bean, or black. 131 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,378 - Obviously black. - Black. 132 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,278 Okay. 133 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,655 Oh, good, my brow tinter 134 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,281 can fit me in tonight before Kappa. 135 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,842 Oh, what time are we going to this thing again? 136 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,010 First of all, it's not just a thing. 137 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,410 It is the final rush event. 138 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,888 And I cannot believe that you have made it this far 139 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,014 when you barely rushed and you have 140 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,456 little to no fashion sense. 141 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,017 - What can I say? - When you got it, you got it. 142 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,185 I'm just glad you're giving it a chance. 143 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,293 Hey, this is new Whitney. 144 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,795 She says yes and tries things 145 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,922 because she has literally nothing else going on. 146 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,132 All I want is to be able to text my mom a pic 147 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,968 of me wearing her Kappa pin. 148 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,386 Oh, Leighton, that's so sweet. 149 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,571 After everything with Nico, 150 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,805 she could use some good news. 151 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,473 I didn't think you guys got along. 152 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,368 Just because her name in my phone is "The Babadook" 153 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,394 doesn't mean I don't love the bitch. 154 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,229 Hey, we should go get our nails done. 155 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,689 Why? Yours look great. 156 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,065 Yeah. Yeah, they do. 157 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:36,651 That was more of a little reminder for you. 158 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,152 Let's go. 159 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,154 - Damn. Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 160 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,281 Okay. 161 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,657 We're finalizing the staff page, 162 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,117 so last call for head shots. Lila? 163 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,493 - Hmm? - Can you send me one 164 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:46,995 without your boobs on a tray? 165 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,663 You said to highlight my strengths. 166 00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:50,790 Has everyone posted the countdown to our launch 167 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:51,874 on their stories? 168 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,334 We go live in 10 hours. 169 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,878 How are numbers looking? 170 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,131 Uh, they're a-freaking-mazing. 171 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,592 We are primed to reach one in every eight people on campus. 172 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:02,844 One in eight? 173 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,345 - Carla, that sucks. - Does it? 174 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,789 - 'Cause I love positivity. - Okay. 175 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,241 Can I talk to someone else about this? 176 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,742 - Jo, maybe? - It turns out a lot of us 177 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,601 share the same social followings. 178 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,645 We're missing a lot of people. 179 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:13,980 Oh, my God. 180 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,274 A bunch of foot fetishists follow me. 181 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,608 Will that help? 182 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,086 Look, we need to reach more people 183 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,361 or this will never work. 184 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,839 We left "The Catullan," a group that's 185 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,531 a legit feeder to the NBC page program, 186 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,158 to make something better, not worse. 187 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,201 - We need to fix this. - Bela, chill. 188 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,703 I have a lot riding on this. 189 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,121 Yeah, we all do. 190 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,598 But we never thought we were going to have 191 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,041 a big audience right away. 192 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,543 We just have to start small, make good content, 193 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,670 and hopefully people will find us. 194 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,922 Ah. One of my foot guys just texted back. 195 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,132 He said he'll promote us. 196 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,385 What you watching? 197 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,304 Oh, I got my biochem quiz back 198 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,223 and your girl moved from the bottom third of class 199 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,475 to the middle third. 200 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,477 - Hey. Congrats. - Thank you. 201 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,646 But I know I can do better, so I'm watching a video 202 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,899 on what a cellular means because how 203 00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,692 can anything have no cells? 204 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,069 That's nonsense. 205 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,863 This study geek vibe on you is so cute. 206 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,573 Oh. 207 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:07,259 What time should I get to the KJ house tonight? 208 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,951 You said the party starts at 9:00, 209 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,620 so is that like a Black 10:30? 210 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,122 Usually, yes, but, uh, the KissMas party 211 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,791 is our biggest party of the year, 212 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,417 so I would get there early. 213 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,877 Biggest party of the year? 214 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,003 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 215 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,147 And I wanted to invite you 216 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,714 to the official after-party. 217 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,300 It's in my room, it's just us, 218 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,928 and it's fully naked. 219 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:28,137 Hmm. 220 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,389 I will RSVP yes to that. 221 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,766 Mm-hmm. 222 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,437 Gotta get to work. 223 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,605 Okay. 224 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,775 Actually, I want to ask you something. 225 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,574 Will you be my girlfriend? 226 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,826 What the fuck? 227 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,369 Was I not his girlfriend already? 228 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,870 Did you think I was his girlfriend? 229 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,539 Because I thought I was his girlfriend. 230 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,933 Yeah, you definitely called yourself his girlfriend 231 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,458 multiple times, so I can't lie. 232 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,228 - That is embarrassing. - I just... I just don't get 233 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,687 how he didn't consider me his girlfriend 234 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:01,963 until, like, 14 minutes ago. 235 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:03,339 Do you think this means he's been 236 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,049 seeing other people? It might, right? 237 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,735 Well, did you ask him if he was seeing other people? 238 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:07,969 Uh, no. Are you crazy? 239 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,196 You don't ask guys these things. 240 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,680 You ask everyone else you know. 241 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,407 Okay, look. I'm not some successful dater of boys 242 00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,351 who can help you with this, but you know who can? 243 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,476 Kappas, all right? 244 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,686 Ask some of the seniors. 245 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,937 I'm sure they've seen it all. 246 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,272 - Yeah. You're right. - Mm-hmm. 247 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,749 You know, I'm starting to see some 248 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,209 of the upsides to being in a sorority. 249 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,710 All: We are Kappa Beta Rho. 250 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,778 We set trends wherever we go. Ask anyone... 251 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,530 - Am I supposed to be scared? - Shh. 252 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,216 All: That a Kappa girl always steals the show. 253 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,242 We are Kappa. Don't you know? 254 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,661 Terrifying. 255 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,246 Leighton? 256 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,498 Natalie? Hi. 257 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,375 Um, I didn't know you were rushing Kappa. 258 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,002 I am. 259 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,461 Hey, can I ask you something? 260 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,838 - Mm-hmm? - Were you just not 261 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,506 gonna tell me you gave me chlamydia? 262 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,966 Mm. 263 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,512 There she is. 264 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,805 Yep, it's me. 265 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,516 I'm so glad you could make it. 266 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,517 Me too. 267 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,394 Me too. 268 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,188 We've got so much stuff to cover. 269 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,690 Hi, Fred from lit class. 270 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:05,359 Or, as my classmates from poli sci would call me, 271 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,944 - Fred from poli sci. - Yeah. 272 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,380 I ran into Fred and I thought we could make 273 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,822 our study duo into a trio. 274 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,032 Yeah. 275 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,034 Who wants Chex Mix Muddy Buddies? 276 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,662 ♪ I taste the sugarplum ♪ 277 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,289 ♪ It tastes so wonderful ♪ 278 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,041 ♪ Everything is magical with multicolor ♪ 279 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,542 - Okay. - Which do you like better, 280 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,294 this or this? 281 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,338 I came here to have sex, not look at 30 options 282 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,357 of "The Catullan" holiday issue that all look the same. 283 00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:28,925 They don't all look the same. 284 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,611 They have different font sizes and variable kerning. 285 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,862 - Look. - I can't believe I still 286 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:32,803 want to have sex with you 287 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:33,888 after what you just said. 288 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,139 Okay. 289 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,663 I got to email this to the print guy. 290 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,351 I need to get it in by 2:00 for same day. 291 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,685 How's your launch looking? 292 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,829 Tonight's the night, right? 293 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,188 Yep, we go live at midnight. 294 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,831 Catullan issue comes out tonight, too. 295 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,566 Little, uh, competition, huh? 296 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,236 - Yeah. - I'm shaking in my thong. 297 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:51,072 Look, I know it's tough starting a new thing, 298 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,573 but I'm excited to read it. 299 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,575 Well, you'll probably be the only one. 300 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,077 What you're doing is cool. 301 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,880 It's way more impressive than "The Catullan" 302 00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,247 just using a bunch of alumni money 303 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,807 to print copies and dump them in front 304 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,583 of every student's door. 305 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,585 Okay. Let's do this. 306 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,629 And, uh, hey, could you bite my neck 307 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,130 like last... last time? 308 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,858 It felt like I was having sex with Edward Cullen. 309 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,425 Yeah, sorry. Um... 310 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,819 - What's... what's happening? - What are you... 311 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,095 Actually, I got to go. 312 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,263 Perfect. 313 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,531 Glad I got completely pants less 314 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,598 for you to leave. 315 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,766 ♪ Shh, shh, shh ♪ 316 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:21,269 Hey, uh, so I have an idea. 317 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,605 I can't believe you gave me the clap and didn't tell me. 318 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,441 Okay, who's to say I gave it to you? 319 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,901 You might have given it to me. 320 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,028 You're the only person I've slept with lately. 321 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,321 Okay. Okay. 322 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,864 I know you want to talk about this, 323 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,408 but, um, this is not the time. 324 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,118 I just want you to apologize. 325 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,286 Oh, my God. 326 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,413 Okay, can you just stop? 327 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:44,834 Can I just Venmo you for the cost of your meds, 328 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,170 and we can leave this very mediocre sex we had behind us? 329 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,675 What was that? 330 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,802 Oh, nothing, heh. 331 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,637 It seemed pretty heated. 332 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,932 It's just Natalie came in 333 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:05,021 with some very intense, competitive energy. 334 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,440 It didn't feel very Kappa to me, but it's fine. 335 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,733 Oh, really? 336 00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:09,960 No, I shouldn't have said anything. 337 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:10,901 No, it's important. 338 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:11,986 We can't let anyone in 339 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,130 that'll throw off the vibes. 340 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,256 We have to preserve the vibes. 341 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,865 I always say that. 342 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,325 It's so funny you mention it, too, 343 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,576 because, like, if a vibe 344 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,077 - is, perchance, thrown... - Yeah. 345 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,620 Nothing ever goes right. 346 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,748 So I thought we were already an official couple, 347 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,767 but then he brings this whole, "will you be my girlfriend" 348 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,293 thing on me. Like, what the hell? 349 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,812 Sounds like you were in a one-sided 350 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,004 situation-ship, babe. 351 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,213 Oh, totally. 100%. 352 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,299 My ex had this whole ho-tation. 353 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,134 He was hooking up with a bunch of girls 354 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,719 every time he went home. 355 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,971 Canaan doesn't seem like he'd do something like that. 356 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,849 Oh, well, they never do, until they do. 357 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,726 Have ever been cheated on? 358 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,394 Uh, yeah. 359 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,689 In the fall, I was seeing this guy and he, 360 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,025 um, yeah. 361 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,193 What's going on here? 362 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,462 We're talking about what to do 363 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,987 when a guy is being sus. 364 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,572 Honestly, the minute a guy 365 00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,091 is being sus, I go through his phone. 366 00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,533 It has all the answers. 367 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,035 Do I feel great about it? No. 368 00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,412 But I'd rather know for sure than waste my time. 369 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,497 Both: Totally. 370 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,040 Uh, thanks. 371 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,541 I don't think I could do that, 372 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,585 but I appreciate the convo. 373 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,048 Okay, that's all I've got for Seamus Heaney. 374 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,299 That's so helpful. 375 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,717 I read some of the McDonagh stuff. 376 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,195 Hope my notes are okay. 377 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,970 - Oh, hang on. - My Chinese food is here. 378 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,598 And don't worry, I got dumplings for the table. 379 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:27,478 It's so nice we get to do this with Fred. 380 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,316 Hey, I'm happy we got a second alone 381 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,002 'cause I want to tell you there's another reason 382 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,236 why I asked you over. 383 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:36,570 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 384 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,739 I don't know how you're feeling, but... 385 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,324 Fred's, like, really into you. 386 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,659 - Huh? - Yeah. 387 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,095 He asked me if I could link you guys up, 388 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,954 so that's why I invited him over. 389 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:47,581 So what do you think? 390 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,208 Of Fred? 391 00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,710 Fred who showed us his digital trading cards? 392 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,213 He seems like a really sweet guy. 393 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,423 Got the food. 394 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,258 Sorry I took so long. 395 00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:59,093 You were gone for, like, 10 seconds. 396 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,971 So who's hungry? 397 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,101 ♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪ 398 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,477 Okay. You got this, girls. 399 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,062 Oh, we absolutely do. 400 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,981 ♪ I need somebody ♪ 401 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,149 Be right out. 402 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,501 If this works, we're going to get 403 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,525 so many subscribers. 404 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,768 Yeah, but aren't you worried 405 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,004 that Eric's going to get pissed 406 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,321 and fog up his little glasses? 407 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,406 No, he'll be fine. 408 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,489 He knows we're competing. 409 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,700 He said to himself. 410 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,010 I was really looking forward to never 411 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,244 seeing this guy Roy again. 412 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,912 He thinks I'm Eric's assistant. 413 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,875 And he always taps my hands with his damp fingers. 414 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,877 Hey, Roy. Nice to see you. 415 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,420 You too, sweetie. 416 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,631 How can I help "The Catullan's" best gal today? 417 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:38,966 Oh, wow. 418 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,468 Hi, Roy. 419 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,887 I'm Bela, and we little ladies could use your help. 420 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,805 There was one last edit to the cover art 421 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,015 for tonight's issue, 422 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,099 but we forgot to make it 423 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,476 before Eric sent it to you. 424 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,810 And if we don't fix this, 425 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,395 we're going to be in big trouble. 426 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,646 The approved cover's on here. 427 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,023 Will you help us girls out? 428 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,025 Of course, sweetie. 429 00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,904 Ugh. 430 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,363 Oh, my God. 431 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,175 Our moms were totally in the same rush class. 432 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,783 We have to take a pic to send to them. 433 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,035 - Totally. - Yeah. 434 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,536 Leighton, can I have a moment? 435 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,663 Sure. I will be right back 436 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,582 - to take that picture, Jordan. - Okay. 437 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:13,000 What's up? 438 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,561 Did you talk shit about me to the Kappas? 439 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,185 Because I feel like I'm getting iced out. 440 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,064 During the house tour, they left me in the cellar. 441 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,256 Um, no. 442 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,758 No, I haven't mentioned you at all. 443 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,481 Really? Because I saw you looking my way 444 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,844 when you were talking to Quinn. 445 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,179 Oh, Natalie. 446 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,223 You're making this really weird, okay? 447 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,016 Maybe focus more on rush 448 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,394 and less on who I'm talking to. 449 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,193 It's now time for my favorite Kappa rush tradition. 450 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:42,112 All: Secret seat, secret seat, 451 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,240 secret seat, secret seat. 452 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,867 For our final moments of rush, I invite each of you 453 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:50,788 to sit in the secret seat and share a sexy secret. 454 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,331 And Abby, you're first. 455 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,542 I went down on my boyfriend on the London eye. 456 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,794 All: Secret seat. 457 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,004 Secret seat. Secret seat. 458 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,006 I don't really love rosé. 459 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:04,385 All: Secret seat, secret seat, secret seat. 460 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,431 Last week, Leighton Murray gave me chlamydia. 461 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,020 ♪ This Christmas gonna to be a little different ♪ 462 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,397 ♪ Santa got bags ♪ 463 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,731 Hey, get it! 464 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,984 Oh my God, this is so damn dope. 465 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,361 I mean, back in Kappa, was, like, bad-bad, right? 466 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,655 Hated to watch, couldn't look away. 467 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:25,739 Got it. 468 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,074 But I... I can't even think 469 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,576 about that when all of this 470 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,869 is happening in front of me. 471 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,138 You know what? I'm going to text Quinn 472 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,223 to check in on deliberations. 473 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,498 Very casually, though. 474 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,583 Yeah, yeah. 475 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:36,866 You're in a very casual place. 476 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,836 - I'm sorry, babe. - This is rough. 477 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,814 - Wait, what's going on? - How'd it go with Jackson? 478 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:41,964 Oh, bad. 479 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,591 Turns out he was planning a sexy date, 480 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:44,758 but not for me and him. 481 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,677 For me and this guy. 482 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,930 He looks like... like he would treat you very well. 483 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,348 Yeah, he's fine, I guess. 484 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,142 But now I know how Jackson sees me. 485 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,768 He sees me with a guy like this? 486 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,103 Jackson clearly thinks 487 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:57,771 I'm not in his league, which is fine. 488 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,273 But is anyone in Jackson's league? 489 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,899 No, he's like a Greek God that 490 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,110 came to Earth as punishment for being too hot. 491 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,486 Oh, forget it. 492 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,738 How was Kappa? 493 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:06,989 One of the girls announced 494 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,341 that Leighton gave her chlamydia. 495 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,617 What? 496 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,327 Should we all get very large drinks? 497 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,620 - Yes. - Yes. 498 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,705 ♪ Told me feed my family ♪ 499 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,833 ♪ I took it to the hood and I dropped it in the sink ♪ 500 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:20,961 ♪ Then I whipped it into a whole thing ♪ 501 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,713 ♪ Jumped off the... ♪ 502 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:23,964 There he is. 503 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,090 Mm-hmm. 504 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,967 - Damn, Santa. - You're here. 505 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,427 The party's officially started. 506 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,803 ♪ Diamonds on my chains ♪ 507 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,305 ♪ Watch me, man ♪ 508 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,390 ♪ You gotta watch me now ♪ 509 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,142 What was that for? 510 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,144 Just kissing my girlfriend. 511 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,604 It's my favorite party of the year, 512 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,731 and I can't wait to spend it with you. 513 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,149 - Oh, damn. - What? 514 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,525 What? 515 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,653 My phone keeps falling out of these Santa pants. 516 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,279 You mind holding it in your bag for me? 517 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,697 Uh, yeah. Sure. 518 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,199 Yeah? 519 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,468 Hey, that's my song. Let's go. 520 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,785 Let's go. Let's go. 521 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,495 - ♪ Turn it up. - Turn it up ♪ 522 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,372 - We fucking did it. - It's here? 523 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,831 - Let me see it. - What did you do? 524 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,059 We needed a splashy way to announce 525 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,334 our magazine to the world, 526 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,794 so we Trojan horsed "The Catullan." 527 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,088 We replaced their cover with a QR code 528 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,631 that leads to our site instead. 529 00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,234 Us sneaky bitches out-snuck the boys. 530 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,717 Who wants a signed copy? 531 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,161 Now "The Foxy" is at the doorstep 532 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,720 of every person on campus. 533 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,180 Bela, that is so cool! 534 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,699 - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Look, we're already 535 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,433 getting so many new followers. Yes, yes. 536 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,018 Cheers me with your boobs. 537 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,940 Say KissMas. 538 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:24,566 All: KissMas! 539 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,528 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 540 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,196 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 541 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,115 - ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ - Whoop, whoop! 542 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,492 So, wait. You're telling me 543 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:34,868 you talked shit about this girl, 544 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,121 gas lit her, and then sabotaged her, 545 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,164 all after you gave her chlamydia? 546 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,083 Okay. Okay, so I can see 547 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,644 how that would make me look like a bitch, but... 548 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,878 - Look like a bitch? - Bitch, you were a bitch. 549 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,714 - That's what I said. - In less harsh words. 550 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,048 Ooh. 551 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,609 Okay, but what do you think I should do? 552 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,051 Ooh, look, I want to help you, 553 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,529 but I got to follow that tight linebacker 554 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,554 into a private room. 555 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:54,555 So I'm going to go. 556 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:56,598 Kimberly, fix your girl. 557 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,475 Okay. So I really messed up. 558 00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,810 - Mm. - But you know what? 559 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,186 I am just going to text Quinn, 560 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,021 and I'm going to tell her to call me. 561 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,983 Who should we give these to? 562 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,235 Hot guys first, and then everybody else. 563 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,362 Hey, great party, huh? 564 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,572 Do you like college comedy? 565 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:12,655 Hey, daddy. 566 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,907 You like to laugh? 567 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,993 Scan the code on the cover. 568 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,995 - Bela, did you do this? - Eric? 569 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,955 Uh, hi. Yes. Yes, I did. 570 00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,599 And I'm sure you're upset, but I'm hoping 571 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,083 part of you is also proud? 572 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,501 No. What the fuck? 573 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:25,937 How could you do this to me, especially 574 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,254 since we're hooking up? 575 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,648 Chill out, my slim-hipped cutie. 576 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,048 I'm sorry, but I had to do it. 577 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,852 I honestly thought you'd sort of respect it. 578 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,404 - Well, I don't. - This is such a mess. 579 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,571 I have to make a bunch of... 580 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,180 - What the... - Calls. 581 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:38,098 ♪ New style, down, down, do your dance ♪ 582 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,017 - ♪ Do your dance ♪ - Ooh, he got caught 583 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,602 in the "Cupid Shuffle." 584 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,288 He's just being thrown around like a little pinball. 585 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,938 ♪ Down, down, do your dance ♪ 586 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,541 - ♪ Do your dance ♪ - How embarrassing. 587 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,150 ♪ Down, down, do your dance ♪ 588 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,781 ♪ Me and the Claus going out, far out, tonight ♪ 589 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,867 Ho, ho, ho, KJ house! 590 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,788 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 591 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:01,997 Y'all been naughty or nice? 592 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,415 Naughty! 593 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:04,875 All right, all right. 594 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,794 Who want to come take a picture with Santa? 595 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,754 Santa should always be this ripped. 596 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,297 Honestly, well said. 597 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,507 Whoo! 598 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,135 Wait, is that Zoe from the coffee shop? 599 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,179 I didn't know she kicked it at the KJ House. 600 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,723 Yeah, Canaan invited her during our shift yesterday. 601 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,701 Ooh, and girly's wearing the little booty dress 602 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,227 I helped picked out for her. 603 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,812 Get it, Zo! 604 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,647 - You want to take a picture? - Yeah, yeah. 605 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,357 One sec. I'll be right back. 606 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,026 Leighton, you need to chill out. 607 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,653 We're in the middle of delibs. 608 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,112 - I'm in the templum. - Heard. 609 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,489 But I need to tell you something. 610 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,032 Natalie was telling the truth. 611 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,451 I gave her chlamydia, 612 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,662 and I probably gave it to a few more girls too. 613 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,789 It's been a weird month, but Natalie wasn't the one 614 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:45,749 throwing the vibes off today. I was. 615 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,752 I was being so CO, and I am so, so sorry. 616 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,212 - Fine. - Message received. 617 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,797 Now please stop texting. 618 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,341 Okay, but it's just Kappa is all I've ever wanted... 619 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:57,261 And if given the chance... 620 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,805 And she hung up. Perfect. 621 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,473 ♪ Fuck it, get into it, yuh ♪ 622 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:02,975 ♪ Yeah, you just wanna party ♪ 623 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:04,601 ♪ You just wanna lap dance ♪ 624 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,162 ♪ You just wanna pop up on these clowns ♪ 625 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,938 So I finally talked to Quinn, and... 626 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,273 What are you doing? 627 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,500 I'm going through Canaan's phone. 628 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,942 - Stop. - Oh, please. 629 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,378 You don't exactly have the moral high ground 630 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,762 when it comes to choices right now. 631 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,405 Okay, brutal, but fair. 632 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,074 Still, no good is going to come from you doing this. 633 00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:20,534 - Oh, my god. - I knew it. 634 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,827 I knew something was up. 635 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,787 Whitney, wait, wait. 636 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,666 - What's up? - Oh, hey. 637 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,126 I didn't know you'd be here. 638 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,889 Hey, thanks again for all the help today. 639 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,605 You and Fred are the smartest people I've ever met. 640 00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,840 And is that why you think we're, like, a match? 641 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,220 Look, he asked me to ask you, so I thought I'd help him out. 642 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,447 Guys like Fred don't usually have 643 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,639 a shot with girls like you. 644 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,016 What do you mean girls like me, 645 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,726 - like short, chatty? - Hot. 646 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,561 ♪ Like a piranha, y'all need to get... ♪ 647 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,354 - You're hot. - ♪ Like y'all need water ♪ 648 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,773 ♪ I mean, it's only head-to-toe Balenciaga ♪ 649 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,151 ♪ I mean, y'all bitches better yuh like Ariana ♪ 650 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,819 ♪ If they ever tryna... ♪ 651 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,881 You want to tell me what this text from Zoe is about? 652 00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,305 "Hey, thanks for meeting up with me. 653 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,800 I know you're with someone, but I needed 654 00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,201 you to know how I feel." 655 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,386 You went through my phone? 656 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:04,637 That's so out of pocket, Whitney. 657 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,021 Why are you meeting up with girls 658 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:07,414 who have crushes on you? 659 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:08,933 Are you trying to keep her on your bench, or... 660 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,250 I don't have a bench, 661 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,894 and nothing happened between me and Zoe. 662 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,313 The only reason I talked to her is because 663 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,088 we work together, so I let her down nice. 664 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,632 It's not my fault that she likes me. 665 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,151 Well, then, why would you keep that from me? 666 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,444 Because I knew you would overreact 667 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,261 like this, like you did before. 668 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:22,763 - Canaan... - I need a beat. 669 00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:25,515 - No, I didn't mean... - I said need a beat. 670 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,601 ♪ It looked good on paper ♪ 671 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,812 ♪ So I sparked a match and lit it on fire ♪ 672 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,357 ♪ Dun, dun, ah, dun, dun, ah ♪ 673 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,901 ♪ Dun, dun, ah, dun, dun, ah ♪ 674 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,444 ♪ When you got too close ♪ 675 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,780 ♪ I watched us go up in smoke ♪ 676 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,114 ♪ But it's all right ♪ 677 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,282 It'll be fine. 678 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,486 Just let Canaan sleep it off 679 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,785 and go see him in the morning. 680 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,453 I really don't want to talk about it. 681 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,122 Ugh. 682 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,584 How do I tell my mom I won't be a Kappa? 683 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:53,919 Oh. For what it's worth, 684 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,522 I think you're better off without them. 685 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,631 I just always thought being a Kappa 686 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,842 was the first step to a certain life. 687 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,303 But, yeah. 688 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,638 Yeah, maybe I don't need that. 689 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,306 You know, this might be for the best. 690 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,683 It is. And hey, 691 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,352 maybe start a cool queer sorority or something. 692 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,938 Now I'm sad again. 693 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,524 Oh. Well, there it is, 694 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,776 - my official rejection letter. - Damn. 695 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,153 I didn't know they made envelopes so small. 696 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,738 Kappas are ruthless. 697 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,661 - Wait, what? - I got in. 698 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,997 - You did? - I did. 699 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,164 Oh, my God. 700 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,499 I'm so happy. 701 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:33,977 You literally just said not getting in 702 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,335 was for the best. 703 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,896 Well, obviously, that was to protect myself 704 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,213 if I did get rejected. Everyone, 705 00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:39,691 everyone, get in your filming positions. 706 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,843 I have an acceptance video to record! 707 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,846 I'm sorry you didn't get an envelope. 708 00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:47,055 Oh, it's fine. 709 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,307 Unlike her, I actually don't care. 710 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,226 ♪ Since you went away ♪ 711 00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:52,686 Well, shit. 712 00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:54,855 Ahh! 713 00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,314 Okay. 714 00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:59,234 ♪ It's been a hard, long summer ♪ 715 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,447 Wait, Eric, I'm so, so sorry. 716 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:04,924 What you did was really screwed up. 717 00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,366 It made me look like an asshole. 718 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,094 I only messed with "The Catullan" because 719 00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,679 I was trying to do something good for "The Foxy." 720 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:12,539 I wasn't trying to do something bad to you. 721 00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:13,874 The site is good. 722 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:15,542 You read it? 723 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:18,086 It's really, really good. 724 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,383 ♪ But you're like a diamond ♪ 725 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,052 Learning to code HTML was really hard. 726 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,219 It's not as intuitive as... 727 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,387 Oh, fuck. 728 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,347 Keep going. 729 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,853 Wait, dude, did you hack our site 730 00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:36,656 and turn our cursor into "The Catullan" logo 731 00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:37,814 with a big penis? 732 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:38,899 I did. 733 00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:40,043 You fucked with our magazine, 734 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,234 so I fucked with yours. 735 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:42,545 But it's nothing personal, right? 736 00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,029 Just competition. 737 00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:45,322 Right. 738 00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:46,632 And we're gonna burn "The Catullan" 739 00:22:46,656 --> 00:22:47,908 into the fucking ground. 740 00:22:47,991 --> 00:22:49,451 I think what you mean to say is you 741 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,294 and your friends are going to try and fail... 742 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,579 Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! 743 00:22:52,662 --> 00:22:54,539 I don't want to be fighting with you. 744 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,999 Me neither. 745 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,727 It's just that I knew that Zoe was after you, 746 00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,270 and when I saw the message and knew I was right, I... 747 00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:00,921 It doesn't matter if she's into me. 748 00:23:01,004 --> 00:23:03,965 I'm a good-looking guy without, like, major problems. 749 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,592 People are going to be into me. 750 00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:07,487 The only thing that matters is I'm not into her. 751 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,762 And you didn't believe me. 752 00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:10,472 I did. 753 00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:11,932 Kind of. 754 00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:14,476 I just needed evidence from your phone to believe it. 755 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,062 Look, I know I was wrong, and I will never do it again. 756 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,857 Whit, I don't think this is going to work out between us. 757 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:22,359 Wait, what? 758 00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:25,529 It's just, it shouldn't be this hard. 759 00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:28,115 I think we call it. 760 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,491 Wait, Canaan, please. 761 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,326 Because of one thing? 762 00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:33,346 I know it's not one thing. It's a couple of things. 763 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,038 - But... - This is best. 764 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,083 You're lost right now, and our trust is broken. 765 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,877 If I don't talk to you, Merry Christmas. 766 00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:57,102 ♪ On our way from Stockholm ♪ 767 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,731 ♪ Started to snow ♪ 768 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:07,696 ♪ And you said it was like Christmas ♪ 769 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:18,123 ♪ By the time we got to Oslo ♪ 770 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:23,837 ♪ Snow was gone ♪ 771 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:29,509 ♪ And we got lost ♪ 772 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:34,347 ♪ The beds were small ♪ 773 00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:39,186 ♪ But we felt so young ♪ 774 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:44,733 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 775 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:49,946 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 776 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:55,076 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 777 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,748 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 778 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:05,587 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 779 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:10,675 ♪ It was just like Christmas ♪ 55006

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