Original subtitles

No, no, and no.

How many times do I have to tell you, Sinclair?

This is not a traditional remake.

We're not just updating wardrobe, hairstyles, and dialogue.

Yes, we're using the same basic premise,

but this is a complete rewrite.

I guarantee you that it will appeal to all those baby boomers

who practically made "Passport to Love"

a cult classic.

My God, half the babies born in '79 were either named

Jennifer or Gianni after our two leads.

I hear what you're saying. I just have a hard time

believing that it will do much at the box office

in this day and age.

Need I remind you, this is one of the biggest grossing films

in decades?

It's a no brainer. It's low budget.

The studios stand to make millions,

and not just from its theatrical release here,

but from foreign distribution,

DVDs, VODs.

That age bracket is sick to death

of all these huge superhero blockbusters.

What they're looking for are real relatable stories

with blended families, and characters

just like themselves.

I don't know, Frank.

- Are those two even around? -Yes.

Our two leads are still alive and kicking.

Wasn't there something about bad blood between those two?

Do they even know what you have planned?

No, I haven't had a chance to tell them yet

that they'll be working together

and that we're actually doing a remake of the earlier film.

- It just didn't seem-- - That doesn't sound healthy.

Let me handle this.

those two were paired up.

I had a three picture deal, remember?

Blacklisted for years

because my new young Italian stud muffin

was nowhere to be found midway though picture number two.

But that was-- that was then.

This is now.

I got them both coming in here tomorrow to read.

I'm sure we can handle whatever happened personally

between the two of them.

It's ancient history, for God's sake.

Look, I think I'm gonna need some assurance.

Yes, yes, I will put them on tape for you.

God forbid you don't cover your ass.

All the rest of ours are out there

swinging in the breeze.

Well, just as long as you keep me posted.

Yes, yes, I will let you know how it went.

I'm hanging up now. Good-bye.

Good-bye, Sinclair. Good-bye.

( sighs ) God help us if those two haven't moved on.

( phone rings )

Hi, sweetie. How's the traffic?

Hi, Mom. Hey, how did you know I'm driving?

This is L.A. Everyone's always driving.

What's up?

Just calling to check on you.

- How was your flight? - Good for a change.

Definitely helps to have the studio

spring for first class.

Still not what it used to be, but easier than a yoga position

in coach for five hours.

How's Maxie?

- Hey, Max, say hi to your grandma. - Hi, Nana.

Hi, Maxie. We still on for tomorrow?

Can we stop in the video game store on the way back?

Excuse me, young man, your grandma wants to spend

quality time with you and all you can think about

is burying your nose in the latest Tomb Raider?

Oh, Lori, lighten up. It's okay.

That's what grandparents are for.

And I hate to break it to you,

but we moved on to Minecraft months ago.

Whatever. You and Dad totally ruined him for me

that summer he went back to visit.

Made me learn to hate a great female hero, too.

God, I used to love watching the two of them

get so excited about a new game.

( sighs )

He would be so proud of Max

to see how much he's grown in only a year and a half.

Yeah, he would, wouldn't he?

Hey, Mom, you up for company tonight?

We could stop by, take you out for pizza.

Yay, pizza! We hardly ever get pizza.

Oh, thank you, honey,

but I'm still a little frazzled from the trip,

and I've gotta go over these lines.

Sure, Mom. Maybe tomorrow night

when I pick up Max at your place.

And we want to hear all about this big audition of yours.

Say good-bye to Grandma, Max.

Bye, Nana.

Bye, my sweet prince.

( phone ringing )

Hello, Jeremy here.

Ciao, Jeremy, It's Riccardo.

Hey, Riccardo! Glad you could make it.

You all psyched and ready for tomorrow?

Well, as ready as I can, I guess.

Say, Jeremy, this guy-- I read the part that Mark sent me on the way here.

He is "ethnically ambiguous." What the hell is that?

Do you know if he told them that I am Italian?

Yeah, I took the call personally from some suit at the studio.

Wanted to know if we still repped you here in the States.

When I told him, "Si, Señor,"

he said he wanted to see you as soon as he can.

How cool is that, huh?

None of us had even heard about this gig before he called.

Now the buzz is it's huge.

Major studio backing,

big time distribution deal all lined up.

That makes me feel a lot better.

You know, Mark didn't tell me much.

Is he still there?

He gave me the keys, but I--

No, no, no, he split about an hour ago,

said something about his grandkids' games.

Oh, that's too bad.

I just wanted to find out more about tomorrow.

Oh, hey, I almost forgot.

Somebody down in the lunchroom today

told me that you were really hot shit back in the day.

You know, when you were young.

( chuckling ) Who knew?

Oh, that's just totally awesome, man.

Oh, great, Jeremy.

Just let me know, and tell Mark

that I arrived safely, if he calls.

Yeah, sure thing, man.

- Miss O'Connor? - Yes.

Oh, please, call me Sheridan.

No matter how old I get,

I still look over my shoulder for my mother

- every time I hear "Miss O'Connor." - Sheridan, then.

I'm Derrick. I'm gonna be helping Mr. Zelski

and Mr. Teschner with your audition today.

Super! Will you be reading with me, too?

I looked around, I didn't see any age-appropriate men

that might play the part of my lover.

Hey! Maybe you could play my handsome co-star.

Why don't we let Frank decide that?

- Okay. - You all set?

- Ready to go? - Sure.

Follow me.

Sheridan! Sheridan! Ah!

It's been way too long. Let me look at you.

Wow!

Age does have its privilege.

At least for some of us.

That vintage bottle I've been saving,

has nothing on you.

Hey, guys, didn't I tell you?

Isn't she just as lovely as the first time

we shot the original "Passport to Love."

Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

Um, what's up with the ambush?

I thought we were gonna keep this kinda low key.

Yeah.

Hey guys, Sheridan's absolutely right.

I promised her a quiet script read.

Here I am getting ahead of myself.

Why don't you all just take a little break for a few minutes,

grab a coffee in the conference room

while we get reacquainted, okay?

Derrick, could you just show them

where the conference room is, please??

Mark, if you want to just give us five minutes.

Sure, Frank.

You know, Frank, I haven't even seen the entire script.

It's a good thing I trust you,

although in the interest of the viewing public,

I doubt you'd try to sneak in any nude sex scenes at my age.

Thanks again, Sheridan.

I can't tell you how happy I am you're on board with all this.

I'll have legal get in touch with Saul

and we can iron out the details.

I'm sure the studio will insist on a little chemistry read

between you and your co-star,

but as far as I'm concerned, it's just a formality.

You know, I haven't had any problem working with any actor

since that randy Roman back in our first film.

Well, give Saul a call when you need me.

I'll be here.

Great, thanks.

A little chemistry read. Playing with fire, are we?

Yeah, well, I wasn't quite ready to go there yet.

Better keep an extinguisher handy.

- Anybody home? - Hey, we're in here, honey!

Ah-ha! Hey there, Maxie.

Mmm, hi, Mom.

So what are you and Nana up to?

We're drawing on cups

and then Nana says we're gonna bake them,

so the drawings never ever come off.

Well, I'm not so sure about the "never ever" part.

We'll have to see what the dishwasher does with them.

But the Internet article did say it's permanent.

Well, if the Internet said it,

it must be true.

You okay, honey?

You look a little tired.

Nah, I'm good.

Just overextended.

Dr. Kaufmann getting ready to retire,

so having me squeeze in all her patients, too,

many of whom are transgender.

They have more questions than usual,

and eat up my time.

What? Mom, we've gone through this before.

One, sexuality is a part of life and a part of my work.

I want my son to grow up caring for others without bias.

And I'd rather he hear about it from me.

Well, I don't remember you having any shortage

of compassion,

and I don't remember us discussing it

around the dinner table either.

It's okay, Nana.

I know there are all types of people,

or um...

orientations.

Mom says I'll understand it all when I'm older.

Well, she's right,

and it's just because I care about you and your mommy.

I guess what you and dad did stuck with me,

because I can't seem to turn anyone away.

Something's gotta give.

I'm gonna look for another partner when Ana leaves.

Oh, I think that's a good idea.

Plus this way it'll give me more time

- to spend with this little guy! - Mom!

But enough about me. How was your audition?

Well, if I may be so modest,

you are now looking at Jennifer Graves,

a professor of music at Harvard,

and the lead in a new Frank Zelski production

with Cinematic Studio.

Ah, wow, that's great, Mom!

They already told you?

Yeah, I was a little surprised.

I mean, Frank and I go way back,

but we haven't been in touch that much,

and, you know, the only big thing we did together

was that co-ed film, "Passport to Love"

when I was just starting out.

Hmm, my name was Jenny in that one, too.

Frank must really have something for the name Jennifer.

The scene I got was clever and kind of witty,

so I'm hoping romantic comedy.

Lori: I guess you'll find out when you read the rest of the script.

Yeah, I sure would like to have a look at it before the chemistry read.

Chemistry read? That's a new one.

Ah, old Hollywood tradition.

They want to make sure that the two leads have "chemistry,"

before they put in the big bucks.

Personally, I think it's a bunch of dirty old men

that just like to see pretty girls being kissed,

but there will be a big surprise with us

when they see two old farts up there.

Grandma, you said a bad word.

Uh, you're right, Maxie, and I shouldn't use that word either.

Now that Grandpa Sam's gone to heaven,

does that mean you're gonna kiss somebody else?

No, sweetie, not like Grandpa.

( sighing ) I mean, it'll be a pretend kiss like in the movies.

Grandpa would understand.

So, anybody up for pizza?

Hey, hey, hey, there he is.

- Oh, you look good. - Say, you look good, too.

International travel must agree with you.

Sorry I had to cut out so early before you got up this morning.

- Did you get settled all right? - Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.

Thanks for letting me stay again,

and that ride of yours is almost as good as an Italian car.

Almost.

- So how have you been, Mike? - Good, I'm-- I'm very good,

Riccardo, I am, uh...

Oh, who am I bullshitting here?

You know, things have been better.

They're circling like the vultures

just waiting for me to retire.

I got that call from Zelski, really made my day.

- So, how did it go? - Good evening, gentlemen.

My name is Julian. I'll be your waiter for this evening.

Can I get you guys started with a drink from the bar,

or some sparkling water for the table, maybe?

Yes, I'll have a Cinzano on the rocks with lemon,

- and a Pellegrino with no ice, please. - Okay.

A vodka martini for me and tap water's fine.

Got it. I'll be right back.

I love you Californians.

Always worried about the environment

until you get outside and you see what kind

of car everybody's driving.

So, let's see, where were we?

Ah, the audition, yes.

It's been a while since you've seen Zelski, huh?

I haven't seen him since we did that teen movie.

You know, that movie made his career,

but he never had the decency to call me again.

I was tempted not to come,

but I couldn't resist.

It's like, um--

what was it that you used to say?

- Nature of the beast. - The nature of the beast.

That's it.

You know, Hollywood calls, and we jump.

We never know when the next big break is gonna come from.

Absolutely.

Well, I'm glad you did come

and not because I'm just gonna negotiate

a really sweet deal with Cinematic for you.

You know, you do realize that "Passport to Love"

also made your career?

And if I recall correctly, you had just signed

a three-picture deal with Zelski before you ran out on everyone.

That could be part of the reason

why he hasn't gotten back to you sooner.

That's ancient history, especially in Hollywood.

Don't tell me that anybody can keep a grudge that many years.

I don't know, sometimes it's not that easy to forgive and forget.

Here are your drinks, gentlemen.

- Thank you, sir. - Thank you.

Mr. Rossi, I've always been a huge fan of yours,

I'm a struggling actor myself, actually.

I just have this job to pay the bills,

and I'm open if you might have any advice for me.

Well, yeah, sure.

But you know, I think the best advice I can give you

is never ask for advice from another actor,

besides being the competition.

What you need to do is talk to the people

that have the contacts here,

you know, the puppet masters.

You know, like the agents

and managers, and producers.

These are the people that can really get you working in this town.

Julian: Thanks.

Yeah, thanks.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

It's all fine and good, Saul.

I said I'd go.

I just wanted to get a name.

Do my homework on this guy

before I have to go in there tomorrow.

I hear you, doll, they just wouldn't budge.

Well, we're not exactly kids.

The mystery's not gonna make it more exciting.

What can I tell you?

The pope's valet has looser lips than these guys.

Nobody knows nothing?

We're talking Hollywood here, the original WikiLeaks.

- What's up with that? - I'd tell you if I knew.

No, no you're right. We go back too far to play games.

Just ride this one out with me a little longer, okay?

I'll go there at 3:00 tomorrow,

but I'm not agreeing to anything until I read the entire script.

Got it.

Call me as soon as you can. I'm dying to know.

All right. I'll give you a call tomorrow, Saul.

Bye.

We're in here. I think you know most everyone.

Sheridan?

Frank! How could you?

( speaking Italian )

- Sheridan! We need to-- - Now is not a good time, Frank.

Okay, I know I handled that wrong,

I admit it, I get it.

You think?

Hey, I knew you two had some kind of history

or some kind of falling out, but that was like 30 years ago.

I can't believe you still hold a grudge!

I mean, he seems okay with it.

A falling out? A grudge?

That's what you think this is.

Not even close.

I would have welcomed a chance

to obliterate that man 30 years ago

and I'd do it again in a flash.

Work with him? Yeah, right.

When hell freezes over.

Okay, that went well.

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be no need to leave ♪

( phone rings )

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made my life complete ♪

Pretty lady.

Your wife?

No, almost, a century ago.

I see, so, she dumped you for another guy way back when?

No, not really. I screw up,

and I've been regretting it ever since.

Well, I've certainly have had my share of disappointments.

Hey, why don't you buy me a drink

and we'll drink to loves lost?

No, young lady, I probably have socks in my drawer at home

that are older than you, honey.

Maybe another time.

I don't think I would be good company tonight.

Francisco, buy this young lady

anything that she would like to drink.

Sure thing, Mr. Rossi.

- What can I get for you, Miss? - Another white, please.

- Hi, Miss O'Connor. - Hi, Patrick, how are you today?

- Good, how are you? - Good.

Has my sister gotten here yet?

Ah, yeah, she opted for the patio.

- Okay -- Ah, I see her. Thanks. - Okay.

Oh, my God, Aunt Peg!

Eileen didn't tell me you were gonna be in town.

Oh, I wasn't planning on coming until next week,

but Eileen made it sound like the future

of civilization was hanging in the balance

with your little film.

Oh, she did, did she?

Well, you know Aunt Peg is just teasing.

I may have casually mentioned

that that you had just turned down

one of the best roles you've been offered in years,

over some rotten Tuscan grapes.

Tuscan grapes?

She may have a point, dear.

I mean, how many lifetimes ago was that?

It's just a movie, for God's sake,

and you are an actress.

Okay, now I get it.

You guys got together, right, and hooked up

to have an intervention here?

Nice.

The only two people in the whole world

that know what that man, how he hurt me.

Here we go. Can we ever just have a normal conversation

instead of-- everything is about,

"Mom, Mom, she's picking on me again."

- You are a little bit melodramatic, darling. - Thank you.

What ever happened to compassion?

Could I have a little sympathy?

Oh, how I've burned out all of my sympathy

three husbands ago.

And now I've moved on to a more mindfulness approach.

I'm becoming mindful of just how things

are going to affect--

You know, speaking of self interest,

I was kind of hoping I'd be on the receiving end this time.

I mean, come on, if this movie is anything like "Passport" was

back in the Dark Ages, I could be using that to my advantage

and get a lot of mileage out of it.

Mileage?

( chuckling ) Don't you remember Nigel?

My gorgeous Brit, Nigel.

Aunt Peg, it's the only time

I have ever lusted over a six pack.

Oh!

Of course, he was only hanging around

because of my sister's "celebrity" status.

And then when she decided to abandon Hollywood for the stage,

he dropped my ass like it was an outdated Android.

You are incorrigible you know that?

I love you and I made you smile, didn't I?

It's so much more becoming on you

than that sour puss you came in with.

Gee, nothing like having a family together.

All I need now is for Mom to show up.

Oh, speaking of which, your mother knows

that you're back in town.

Hey, hey, don't look at me.

Lori said she went to see her last week.

I-- I don't have anything to do with it. So there.

I had a visit from Saul.

He wanted me to convince you to do this movie.

Wait, what-- Saul?

Oh, don't act so surprised. Saul and I go way back.

Well, at least a husband or two ago.

He wants desperately for you to be in this movie,

and me to be in his bed.

Oh, Aunt Peg.

Everyone in Hollywood has had Saul.

Uh!

I don't mean to sound hurtful,

but nothing as good has come along for you in years,

and now that this nasty little thing called age has joined us,

it may not happen again.

So why-- why do you have to be so stubborn?

I-- it's not about me. I mean, what about Lori and Max?

Bullshit!

Lori-- Lori's an adult. She'll get over it.

And Max, Max is a kid!

And you're not married.

Hell, you're not even sleeping with him.

Oh, you know that's not what I meant.

Oh, God, I spent the last 30 years

trying to keep a secret from Lori

about the relationship I had with him,

and now I'm going to invite him into our lives?

Oh, God, she'd be devastated if she found out

I had a past with him and I never told her.

She would be devastated or you would be?

What's the matter, Sis, you afraid that that halo

of yours might get tarnished and Lori will finally

see through it that there is a human?

( sighs )

Oh, hon, I'm sorry. I mean that was low for even me.

You think?

( sighs )

God, I mean, just the thought of kissing him again

after he dumped me like that, oh.

You know what the news media's gonna do with this.

I'm gonna be a Hollywood laughing stock again.

No one laughed before.

They pitied you.

Oh, gee, and that's supposed to make me feel better?

I saw this picture, the way he looks today,

I wouldn't kick him out

of my bed.

Use it to your advantage. I mean, come on.

It's time to exact a little revenge,

and, and you are--

I know, I know, I'm an actress, so act.

Yes, yeah!

Yes.

- Family. - Family.

Actress.

Good morning. Did you sleep well?

No.

That jet lag thing-- still kicking my back.

Try "kicking my ass," or "kicking my butt."

Never mind.

I had Saul overnight these.

I figured I'd wait till I could show you

all the dirty little details before I told you about it.

The good news, Sheridan has changed her mind.

Oh, now I'm supposed to thank the Lady of Fatima, eh?

No, but her sister had something to do with it.

Sheridan wasn't budging. Evidently Eileen kept chipping away at her

like one of those iceberg breaking barges in Alaska.

- Finally she cracked. - Ha! I thought she hated me,

a lot more than that witch they call the mama.

- What can I tell you? - I'm glad that she changed her mind.

Yes, but I know that the studio

wouldn't have done it without the two of us.

If you're okay with this, I'm okay with this.

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence,

but you may not feel like that after you read

some of the provisions she put in here.

Reads more like a restraining order

than it does a talent contract.

You actually come off a little like Jack the Ripper.

I know you guys were a hot item when you were teens

doing "Passport to Love,"

but what did you do to this girl

to make her hate you 30 years later?

You know she's the one that went to New York

and married some guy six months after I was deported.

Yeah, well, I'm just saying. It's gotta be something.

We're about five minutes out from your next scene, Miss O'Connor.

- Can I tell them you'll be ready? - Oh, absolutely, Chloe.

We're just finishing up.

That's -- oh, look a t-shirt from my old movie.

It's just like the poster.

I can't believe they still have those around.

Tell them I'll be right there.

Got it, Miss O'Connor.

( sighs )

You know, you have been gnawing on that bottom lip of yours

since you sat down in my chair.

I've already redone your lips twice.

If I didn't know any better, honey,

I'd say you weren't all too happy about being here today.

Oh, Marty, you don't know the half of it.

Ever see one of those man hole covers in the center of the street

and wish you could just crawl under it and hide?

That's me.

Yowzah, girl, you got it bad.

Just the name "manhole cover" conjures up

all kinds of crazy ideas in my pretty little head,

but that's a whole other story.

Crawling down in some dank and slimy sewer, uh-uh.

Too much of a lady for that.

What's got you in such a tizzy anyway?

Those nasty rumors about you and that Ricky Ricardo fella?

Was he really the bad boy they say he was?

Doesn't do it for me.

Yeah, well, like I said, you don't know the half of it.

Well, I saw you on stage in a production of "Chicago,"

as Velma a few years back.

If you can dish like that,

honey, you should be able to put a little

wanna-be playboy like him in his place.

If you know what I mean.

You might be on to something there.

You're the second person that's told me to do just that.

What do you think? Make him pay for his sins.

( purrs )

- How are we doing? - Good.

Okay, everyone, I think we are ready.

Thank you, second team.

Can someone please bring in the first team?

- Here you go, Mr. Rossi. - Thanks.

- Thank you, guys. - Sure, Miss O'Connor.

Welcome, Sheridan.

- Riccardo. - ( clears throat)

Okay, everyone, listen up.

We're gonna run through it once,

just like we did in their separate rehearsals

before we had our lead actors together on the set.

We're gonna go ahead and shoot it

just to make sure we have the lighting and the sound.

We're gonna ease into it slow.

This is not like the old days of film.

With digital we can do as many takes as we want.

Remember to take a beat or two before you approach the card,

I want to establish that she is putting a book on the shelf,

she's looking through some titles

before you actually enter the frame.

Sure, sure, Frank, yeah.

Okay, good.

Rolling rehearsal.

- Full speed. - Sound speed.

Rolling sound.

Scene one. Take one A, rehearsal.

Zelski: And...

Action.

Excuse me, do you have this book?

Don't you have your own library?

- Can't you answer a question? - Answer mine first.

Well, I think I'm allowed to come to the music library.

Well, we're not talking legality here,

we're talking about what's right.

Your general library has over five million books.

Our little music library only has in thousands.

I don't think you understand. I only want one book,

and I need it for tomorrow's class.

Well, don't be pushy, professor.

And how do you assume that I am a professor?

And how do you know I don't belong to the music school?

Well, you're far too old to be a student,

and simply not clever enough to be in this department.

Well, actually I am a professor,

and certainly just as intelligent as a librarian.

Well, actually I am a professor of music,

and not a librarian,

and certainly more intelligent.

And what makes you more intelligent?

Well, I wouldn't go out for coffee with you,

for starters.

I wouldn't ask you.

Well, see? That's what makes you less intelligent.

( groans ) American women!

Zelski: And cut!

That was great. That was-- that was great.

Um, now, Sheridan,

that was really good.

I liked how you kind of glared at him over your glasses.

Um, but I'd like to see a little more of that playfulness

you had when we shot the similar scene

in the original film.

You had obviously been sizing him up,

checking him out from across the room.

When he comes up, he thinks you're the librarian,

and you want to tease him to get his attention.

Do you think you can do that?

Sure, Frank, no problem.

Oh, and yes, would you mind telling Miss O'Connor

that if she could look at me in the eyes

when she delivers her lines to me.

If you could tell Mr. Rossi, if he could refrain

from leering at me over the cart,

maybe I'd be able to look him in the eye.

Actually, Riccardo, Sheridan has a point.

I was gonna ask you to try not to buy into it quite so quick.

You're initially taken aback by this brash American woman

who seems to be attacking you.

You're a little flustered, but intrigued as you realize

just how attractive she is.

It isn't until she mentions not going out with you

that you are aware that she is flirting with you.

No, but I'm supposed to be attracted to her.

Otherwise, what's the point?

In the original, we were attracted to each other immediately.

Of course you're attracted to her, and to each other,

and your reactions were great,

just like always.

I would just like to see that light in your eyes

delayed a little while you react to her abruptness.

Can you do that? Can you just stall a little bit?

Yeah, sure Frank, yup.

Huh?

Okay, let's-- let's try a take.

Okay.

Let's try a take!

Scene one. Take three.

Excuse me.

Cut. Back to one, everybody.

( sighs )

Scene one. Take six.

Okay, cut.

Let's try this again.

Put a little more energy into it this time.

Scene one. Take eight.

And action.

Excuse me.

Cut!

Try it again.

And what makes you so superior?

Cause I'm bright enough not to trust a smartass.

I wouldn't go out with you if my life depended on it.

And who in the hell would ask you out?

Cut, cut, cut.

Whoa, whoa, guys.

Come on. Jason, can you clear the set?

Give us about 10 minutes here?

Take 10, people. Clear the set, please. Thank you.

Okay, folks.

Okay, guys, let's have a little chat.

Frank, I'm sorry.

Had I known that this lowlife son of a--

was going to get under my skin like that,

but I had no idea he would be so rude and unprofessional.

( speaking in Italian )

Okay, that's enough.

This was supposed to be remake, not a rematch.

If you two kids can't get along together

any better than this,

you're both going to get a time out.

A time out? What the hell is a time out?

A time out is kinda like a mini jail sentence for kids, Riccardo.

You both get sent to your room to reflect on your bad behavior.

If you feel you can be civilized and act properly,

you are let out to mingle among the general population.

Now I have to warn you, if you two can't assure me

that you can get along and work together,

regardless of how much I want this movie to be made,

I will shut it down so quickly your heads will spin faster

than Linda Blair's in "The Exorcist."

Is that what you want?

No.

No, Frank.

I didn't think so.

You're both professionals.

I really believe we have something here,

but only if we can work together.

Can you do that?

- Yes, we can. - Yes.

Okay, then let's-- let's get back to work.

Jason! Can you please bring everyone back to the set?

Jason: All right, people, we're back.

Well, well, well.

I'll be damned.

No wonder Mom never wanted to talk about it.

- Mr. Rossi. - It's Riccardo, please.

- Or just Rick. - Thank you for coming.

I know my request to meet must have seemed a little odd,

but I hope you can answer a few questions.

On the contrary, I-- I was pleased.

I was always very fond of your mother

and I should have known her daughter

would be just as lovely as Sheridan.

Hey, Lori, good to see you again.

Just couldn't stay away?

Hi Alex. Yeah, you know me and bagels.

So, the usual cinnamon raisin then?

No, you know what?

I'm gonna stick to coffee for now,

but I'll take a few to go later.

Oh, sorry, Alex, this is Mr. Rossi.

Mr. Rossi, Alex.

It is a pleasure, Mr. Rossi.

I was hoping that Lori would introduce us.

My mom is a huge fan of yours,

and all those old-- uh, Italian classics.

I grew up on them actually.

I-- well, as soon as I was able to read subtitles, that is.

I recognized you immediately when you walked in the door.

I've known Lori's mom for years.

It's my pleasure.

- Alex, was it? - Yes. Alexandra, to be specific.

You can call me anything.

I'm not going to wash this for a week.

Wait till I tell my mom. She's gonna die.

- Sorry about that. - That's all right.

I've been coming here since I moved to L.A.

I don't know, reminds me of New York, I guess.

I guess I know why.

Okay, here we go. Let me know if you guys

change your mind or need any bagels.

- Thanks, Alex. - Thank you.

So, I guess you're all wondering

why I've called this meeting today?

Scusa?

No, it's just a joke-- sorry. I'm just a little nervous.

I'm not quite sure how to ask the things I want to know.

As you Americans like to say, it's a long story,

but I think I can explain what happened

and why your mother will not talk to me still after 30 years.

So you actually haven't been in touch all this time

while my mother was married to my father?

No, not even emails.

Actually the very last time that I spoke with your mother

was the morning that we were supposed to get married,

back in 1979.

I don't mind telling you that your mother broke my heart.

I think I still trying to get over it.

What happened? Did-- did you get in a huge fight or something?

No, a fight, no, maybe a little disagreement like young people do.

Mostly about my jealousy, now that I think about it,

but nothing big.

It must have been something major

for her to break it off on your wedding day.

It definitely doesn't sound like my mother.

Well, not really. Let me explain.

I was driving the junk of a car that I had

and it broke down on Hollywood Boulevard,

so I picked up my nice tuxedo, rented tuxedo,

and the shiny shoes,

and Riccardo goes

to the closest bus stop,

without knowing, of course, that this was the favorite place

for the immigration department to pick up illegal aliens.

Oh, boy, let me guess.

You were illegal, and you got arrested?

Well, I didn't think of myself as illegal.

I had a student visa.

I was almost finished with my classes.

I went to an open casting call

with another exchange student.

In the excitement of the moment,

I decided to audition and what happens?

Your mother and I get booked together

and so, I guess, you can say that I did not leave

when I was supposed to.

Mom knew you were illegal and still agreed to marry you?

I can't imagine Grandma Irene allowing that.

Well, not exactly, cara.

I was crazy about your mother.

I didn't want her to think

that I was getting married to her for the papers,

so I didn't tell her.

And your grandmother,

she didn't need any more ammunition.

I always picture her that she was gonna

send her off somewhere to marry some rich American.

To have her beautiful daughter married to a starving actor

and an Italian, no way.

I was young and stupid, and I didn't think.

I figured by then it would be too late,

and we would live happily ever after.

Wow, how did she react when you finally told her?

I tried calling your mother,

but your grandmother never let me talk to her.

And I wrote to your mother, for months.

She never wrote back.

God, this sounds like a bad soap opera.

Why didn't you come back for her?

I got deported.

They didn't let me come for 10 years,

but of course then after that it was too late anyway,

because I had found out that your mother

went to New York, and married your father,

and I stopped writing.

I'm sorry, Riccardo.

I always thought my mom was so forgiving.

Well, don't be so hard on her.

Falling in love in the movie,

falling in love outside the movie,

it was so very romantic,

but crazy.

It was hard to know where the movie ended

and our story began.

But you know, that day that I got to see your mother

in the casting office,

for one minute, for one minute I thought that maybe we could

start all over again, that it wasn't too late.

Did you ever marry and have a family of your own?

Don't tell her, but to be honest with you,

I never found anybody like your mother.

People don't change.

The world changes around them,

and your mother's still inside that beautiful girl

that I fell in love with.

She's still softer on the outside,

but on the inside she's tough to probably take care

of all the things that came her way.

Would you like for me to try to speak to her for you?

No, cara mia, I don't think it would work.

You don't know how much she hates me.

As a matter of fact, I didn't know how much she hated me.

Okay, but if you do decide to talk to her,

I wouldn't mention that we got together.

I don't think she's ready to hear about that.

No.

Um, my mom's obviously been good

at keeping secrets all these years.

Maybe we could keep one of our own?

Oh, sure, Lori. I can call you Lori, no?

Of course.

Looking at you now, you're reminding me of her.

Beautiful, you're intelligent, you're sweet like her,

but you know physically,

you don't look that much like her.

Funny, you reminded me of my mother.

Well, knowing how most Italian males feel about their mother,

I'll take that as a compliment, Riccardo.

So, friends with secrets?

Oh, I like that.

Yes, friends with secrets. I like that.

Hi, Aunt Eileen.

Hey, honey, Grandma said you'd be stopping by.

Like I had a choice. It was either that or face the Wrath of Khan.

How was the bee this morning?

- Mmm, buzzing. - Come on.

I guess Mom hasn't been around much lately.

Hey, I met Mr. Rossi the other day.

( whispering ) He seems really nice. Don't you think we should

hook him up with Mom again, now that she's alone?

I mean, you said yourself, they really had a thing

for each other once.

Lori, I said no such thing, and you know it.

Do not start sucking me into your plotting.

I'm in enough trouble with your mother.

- ( bell rings ) - I'm coming, Mom.

- Hey, Mom. - Oh, Lori, sweetie.

I didn't know you were going to be over this way today.

Oh, I didn't plan to, but I had to see a patient nearby,

and practically was going to pass by here on my way back,

so stopped in to see how your scene's going.

Well, I'm glad you did. Come on, have a seat.

We're just going to be a few minutes here.

We're almost done.

Marty, this is my daughter, Lori.

I told him all about our little Max.

Oh, hi, Marty.

My apologies, grandmas can get a bit carried away.

Carried away? You want carried away?

Oh, Marty, show her that picture you showed me earlier

of your alter ego on weekends, Augusta Wind.

Oh, that old thing.

Sure she's ready for Augusta?

After all, we've only just met.

Wow, I'm coming to you for wardrobe tips

along with hair and make-up.

That's impressive.

Speaking of impressive,

guess who I ran into on my way over here.

Oh, did you meet Frank?

He can come off with a roar at first,

but he's really a pussy cat.

Mmm, no, actually, your co-star, Mr. Rossi.

How come you never told me how charming he is?

Mr. Rossi, really?

Uh, and where did you happen to run into Mr. Rossi?

Oh, on-- on set.

The guard at the gate told me to go to the sound stage,

and Riccardo's the one who walked me over here

- to find you. - Oh, he did, did he?

And what did you and Riccardo talk about?

Oh, you know, the usual, just pleasantries

about how the filming's going.

So in his expert opinion, filming has been pleasant?

Yeah, he said it's going great.

He seems thrilled to be working with you again.

You know, I didn't know it had been so long

since you'd seen each other.

Must be fun catching up after all these years

and everything that's happened?

Yeah, well, a lot can happen

in 30 plus years.

Uh, maybe more than he bargained for?

Are-- are we through here?

I-- I guess, if her majesty says so.

I guess I can do last looks on set.

Thank you, Marty, I would like to spend

a little time with my daughter.

And I gotta go scoot over to Wardrobe again

and get fixed up to go back.

Oh, no problem, Debbie Diva, I'm merely your handmaid.

I'm here to serve your every wish.

Well. What do you and Max have planned for the weekend?

Lori: Oh, so, we were thinking--

( car lock beeps )

Riccardo: Sheridan.

You just can't let it alone, can you, Riccardo?

You know, I don't remember you being this angry

all the time.

You're right. I am angry.

I have 30 years of angry bottled up inside of me,

and it takes a lot of energy to stay that way.

I don't want to waste that energy on you,

but that stunt you pulled this morning with my daughter--

What stunt?

What are you talking about?

Like you don't know.

Pretending to be Mr. Nice Guy, all suave and debonair,

trying to charm her when she came on set,

walking her over to meet me in Makeup.

You think you're being very clever, don't you?

Now I don't understand.

You're angry at me because I was nice. to your daughter.

Do you want me to be mean to her?

No, of course not.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know what I want.

I just want you to leave us alone.

Everything was fine before you came back.

Now everything's a mess.

I'm a mess.

You've ruined everything, just like last time.

I'm sorry, Sheridan, but I don't understand.

I came to tell you what a beautiful job

you did with your daughter.

She's such a lovely woman,

and from what she's told me about you, you and your husband,

you did a great job raising her.

You should be proud.

Scene 46, take one.

Action.

Do you have to play the music so loud

while we're reading?

I'm studying the music.

It's called analysis of form.

While you're reading?

Yes, women are very good at multi-tasking,

haven't you heard?

Why are you staring at me?

Because I never know when you're serious.

Isn't that part of my mystery?

I guess, but it makes me doubt my English.

( sighs ) Well, how's this for serious, then?

I think I'm in love with you.

Oh, my God, you don't know how long I waited

to hear those words.

I can't do this again.

Frank, would you please tell your actor

- to stick to the script. - All right, cut!

- Cut, cut. - Cutting.

Okay, everybody, looks like we got a little break.

Take a few minutes. Don't go far.

( sighs, chuckles )

Riccardo, I have to have a word with you.

( whistling )

You call that an antipasti?

Do I detect a bad day at the office?

Mama mia, I don't know how much more

I can take of this.

Last night I woke up sweating

with Sheridan standing over me.

She was going to kill me with one of those ice things

that come from the roof, you know, in the winter.

- What do you call them? - Icicle?

Yes, uh! With an axicle. Can you imagine?

Well, we don't have that expression

"cold as ice" for nothing, you know.

Speaking of cold, I hear it's been a little chilly

down on the set lately.

It's okay with me with the forget

and forgive thing, you know?

She-- she's the one.

Well, you did do a number on her, don't forget.

You know, that whole thing in the press

was one big clusterfuck.

First they got you running off with that slut Simone,

and then when they figured out you were deported

they played it up like you were marrying her for your papers.

Yeah, well, you know, the studio really took

advantage of that, but me personally,

I always felt bad about the part about the visa.

Does she know that?

You know, it couldn't have been fun

facing that premiere press all by herself.

In fact, I heard she turned down several films afterwards

'cause she couldn't handle it.

Said the actors on Broadway were treated much better.

Well, you know, life gets full of those downs and ups.

Yes, it does.

Mom?

Hey, Mom! You back here?

- Oh, hi! - Hi!

Hi, Mom! What are you up to?

I thought the gardener comes today.

Oh, he does.

You know I wouldn't let him manicure my babies.

He'd just butcher them.

Besides, I was so tired studying my lines.

Okay, what's up?

Looks like you have the final Jeopardy answer or something.

What is, I told Daniel yes!

Oh! I'm so excited. I was gonna wait to tell you

- but I just couldn't! - I'm so happy for you.

- Have you told Max yet? - Not yet.

Daniel and I want to tell him together,

probably this weekend.

Your dad and I always felt that he was right for you.

Oh, yeah, I know Dad always liked him.

I just wish I'd figured it out sooner.

So, what made you finally decide?

Well, I guess I can give Dad credit for that, too.

Seeing you on your own made me realize

that we never really know how much time we have.

What if I was passing up our best years together?

Well, I'm not sure your dad would be thrilled

that it took that much to get you motivated,

but he'd be very happy for you.

Hey, how about some iced tea?

I think we've got a wedding to plan.

Yay!

( phone rings )

It's Saul, I'll just be a minute, go ahead.

Hey, Saul, what's the good news?

They replace my co-star yet?

( Saul chuckling) That's a good one, Sheridan.

You're going to see him again.

Wasn't there something in my contract,

"no socializing?"

Don't I know?

And I did call Legal today.

They said that it's considered strictly promotion.

I'm sorry, Sheridan, but I'm afraid

you're just gonna have to go along with this one.

But trust me, baby, you won't be sorry.

Saul, you have just ruined a perfectly beautiful afternoon.

Tonight I have the distinct privilege

of having two of my favorite actors reunited

in a television first.

I do believe it's actually the first time

these two actors have appeared together on television

or anywhere else, for that matter,

since their big screen debuts in "Passport to Love,"

way back in the late 70s.

I understand from all the buzz in Hollywood

that the two of you are to star in a remake

of that very same film you did over 30 years ago.

You must have been just kids then.

Are we looking forward to this?

We are, and thank you for the kids part.

And I'd like to start by saying how grateful

we are to our director, Mr. Frank Zelski,

for bringing us together again on this project.

That's not exactly what you said

when you found out that I was your co-star.

So, Riccardo, I take it it's not always easy going back?

That's an understatement.

For those of you watching tonight who don't know

the back story on all of this,

Riccardo Rossi and Sheridan O'Connor

were two relative unknowns in Hollywood,

and they skyrocketed to stardom

in their first film together, "Passport to Love."

They played two college kids.

They fall madly in love,

forsake family and money

for the chance to build a life together,

only to have it ripped away from them all too early.

- Do I have that right so far? - Yes.

And the way I remember the sizzle is both of you

on screen and off were pretty hot back then,

and so what happened?

Well, Larry, like you said, we were kids,

and the press got ahold of our story.

The paparazzi started coming after us

as soon as they found out.

So I guess the two of you weren't really as much

of an item as they made it out to be?

The dating and everything was a publicity stunt?

Well, I wouldn't just say it was just publicity.

We had a relationship of sorts.

Oh, really? What sort was that?

Yeah, I'd like to hear that. What-- what sort, Sheridan?

Like you said, we were young and we were single

and it was all very exciting.

So, nothing serious then?

( sighs )

Yes, actually, Larry, we-- we had plans to get married.

I just ran into a little problem with my immigration visa

at the time.

A little problem with your visa?

You leave me stranded at the altar on our wedding day?

I never hear from you again.

Best you can come up with,

it's "a little problem with your visa"?

Well, I guess we have more ground to cover

with this little reunion than we thought.

Wait a minute, Sheridan,

maybe I didn't do things right, but I tried to explain.

That mother of yours never let me talk to you.

Why do you think I wrote you all those letters?

Letters? What letters? I never got any letters.

I wrote you every single day asking you for forgiveness.

I repeat, I never got any letters.

What did you do, forget to mail them

like you forgot to show up for our wedding?

Well, maybe it didn't cause you any problems,

because the last time that I called

your mother said that you had gone to New York

to marry some Broadway producer.

I-- I'm sorry, Larry, I'm sorry-- I can't do this.

I-- I can't do this right now.

We'll be back right after these words.

Wow.

- Eileen: Hello? - What the hell happened to you?

Nice to hear from you too, dear.

I'm home. I've got a little bug,

and it sounds like you've got one up your ass.

Eileen, did you know all along?

Know what?

That Riccardo had been calling,

and he had written all those letters, you know?

No, I didn't know about any letters.

Well, not right away, years later,

Mom did make some kind of nasty remark

about that little wop of yours singlehandedly

keeping the postal service in business,

but I thought it was just one of her moods.

I wasn't about to go there.

And you didn't think to tell me about that little fact?

( sneezes )

You were already married to Sam,

Lori was a toddler,

and I just didn't want to go there.

Why open old wounds?

Hello?

Sheridan?

Consuelo? Ah, bien, Consuelo.

Is Mother upstairs?

Yes, ma'am. Welcome back.

I think she's resting right now.

Lydia take her to see la doctora this morning.

La doctora say she was strong like ox,

and live for another 20 years.

You and Miss Eileen be very happy, no?

Oh, just thrilled, provided I don't kill her first.

Woman: Oh, that's enough already, Lydia, please!

Stop your fussing.

Cheerful as always, I see, Mother.

Hello, Lydia.

Heard things went well at the doctor's this morning?

Yes, ma'am. Just a little high blood pressure,

but that's under control.

Probably healthier than the both of us.

Hello, dear.

I was wondering how long

you'd keep using your big movie

as an excuse to stop coming to see me.

How long has it been? Three weeks?

Miss Irene, now you know full well

it's only been 10 days.

She makes me keep track on my calendar.

Wow, Mother, so how many points

am I behind Eileen now?

Oh, now, dear, you know I never keep score,

but obviously Eileen has put a little guilt trip on you.

No, actually, unlike some people,

she respects my privacy

and my desire to live my own life.

I'll just be downstairs if you need me, Miss Sheridan.

Thank you, Lydia.

Well, at least Lori likes spending time with me.

We'll see how long that lasts when she finds out

how her dear sweet grandmama, what she did to her.

What I did to her? What-- what do you mean?

Well, Mommy dearest,

I used to think you were just jealous,

because I was able to combine my career with marriage

and family, and you had to give up

your big singing career to have Eileen and me.

Well, that was what we heard all the time growing up, right?

Oh, don't be silly, Sheridan.

You know, I forgave you.

I excused your bitterness.

I even felt sorry for you sometimes.

I gave you far too much credit, didn't I, Mother?

It was all about you, wasn't it?

I-- I don't have the slightest idea

what you're talking about.

How could you?

How could you take Riccardo's letters?

They were mine.

You knew how much I loved him.

You-- you watched me suffer.

I was desperate to hear from him.

What-- what gives you the right to take away a decision

that could change the rest of my life,

and just take it away?

He called a few days after the wedding fiasco,

and his-- his accent was so thick.

Just, it was done when the connection was poor,

and he gave some lame excuse about being back in Italy

and he was so sorry,

but you know how these hot-blooded

Mediterranean types are.

So much drama.

It was all I could do to keep from hanging up on him.

Look, that dago humiliated you in the press.

He humiliated all of us,

and I wasn't about to let that swarthy little Italian

hurt me or my family anymore.

Did you ever stop and think about what I wanted?

Well, I must say, he was very persistent.

We got a letter nearly every single day,

and he kept calling, too, for the longest time.

So, I finally told him that you had met someone else.

Mother, what have you done?

I kept them all, you know.

They've, uh--

they've been right here all along.

Oh! Miss O'Connor, hello.

Rick-- I mean Mr. Rossi's just finishing up.

- Debbie, that last scene-- - Yeah.

Well, okay, then.

I'm gonna get going.

I'll see you later at the wrap party? Or not?

We have the place all to ourselves.

We picked a good day.

Usually we would be too busy this time of year.

Now remember, Claudette can be a real bitch,

but she has some of the best selection in town.

She's right behind me, isn't she?

Claudette, darling! You look lovely today.

As I told you, I want you to meet two of my dearest clients.

Sheridan, Lori, this is one of the top bridal consultants

in L.A., Claudette de la Roux.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Well, all righty, then ladies,

I'm going to leave you in Claudette's

very capable hands.

Luckily we already pulled some samples

that we think might work.

Let me know if you need anything at all. Toodles!

It's a little bit last season, but whatever.

Okay, let's see, we go with aubergine for the girls,

and we've got two good possibilities for you.

Oh, I really like this first one with the pearls

that you tried on.

We narrowed the cake down to three.

Oh, not bad for one afternoon.

Yeah, but if I want to look halfway decent in any of these,

I may have to skip lunch today.

Oh, look at you.

You know, honey, after your initial hesitation

about not going the route of a more traditional wedding,

I'm so glad you did. It means a lot to me.

Oh, Mom.

- Here, let me get that. - Just clip it really well.

Yeah, and there.

Heave ho!

Lori: I feel like a princess.

Yeah, this looks nice.

You know, speaking of a traditional route,

I have something I wanted to run by you.

You know how I always dreamed of having Dad

walk me down the aisle one day,

and obviously that's not happening.

- So-- - Oh, honey, of course,

I'd be happy to stand in for Dad.

Everybody will understand.

That's just it, Mom.

Um, I was thinking, you know, so it looks more traditional,

of asking Riccardo, Mr. Rossi to do it.

Mr. Rossi? You barely know him.

I mean, if you want an older man,

how about something like Uncle George?

I mean, at least he's family.

I adore Uncle George, but he reeks of stale cigars

and can barely walk.

How's he gonna escort me down an aisle?

And besides, Mr. Rossi isn't a stranger.

Oh, and when was I gonna hear about this?

I've gotten to know him since you started the movie,

and well, I don't know, we have a connection.

He just really gets where I'm coming from.

He's really a wonderful man.

Yeah, well, the jury's still out on that one.

Mom, I think it's time we talked about this,

this aversion you have to Mr. Rossi.

You never wanted to discuss him

with me before, but it's okay.

Um, but how long are you going to keep

pretending nothing happened between you two?

I mean, it involves me now, too, you know.

You'd be amazed at what you can find out

from Googling your names together.

Like, I know all about your little romance,

but don't worry, Mr. Rossi covered for you.

He said it was before you ever met Daddy.

Oh, my God, you've discussed this with him?

- He knows? - Yeah. No big deal, Mother.

I always thought I'd end up with Max's father,

and look what happened there.

Stuff happens, life happens,

people change.

Aren't you the one always trying to convince me

that everything happens for a reason?

So, you're okay with this then?

I mean, you don't hate me?

Yeah, it wasn't a big deal, Mom.

You were both adults making your own decisions back then.

I was always worried that,

you know, that you'd resent me that--

oh, for keeping it from you all those years.

Oh, it was all so confusing back then.

He took off without a word, and he leaves me like that.

I get shipped off to Aunt Peg's in New York.

Oh, God, back then it was such a big scandal.

Then I met your father and he was so wonderful.

He was kind, and he wanted to take care of me, of us.

Wait a minute.

Are we talking about the same thing here?

The fact that you planned on marrying Mr. Rossi

before you married Dad?

And chances are Dad never knew about it?

Mom? Mom, answer me.

Sweetie, I am so sorry.

I thought you meant you knew.

I thought somehow Mr. Rossi found out,

and I-- I meant to tell you when the time was right.

Okay, stop. Let me get this straight.

You're telling me that Riccardo Rossi is actually my father,

and in 30-plus years you never thought to tell

- either of us? - Yes, but I can explain.

Come on.

Sure, act your way out of it.

God! They'll have to give you

a lifetime achievement award for this one.

What? First you conned Dad, and then me?

Lori, please, lower your voice.

Your father was well aware of my prior... indiscretion.

He loved you like his own. Doesn't that mean something?

Oh, my God.

Dad knew, too?

Jesus H. Christ.

You know, I'm hearing this, I-- I-- I can't deal--

- Oh, my God. - Lori, sweetie...

( Lori sobbing ) Go away!

Please.

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life would have turned out so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be no need to leave ♪

She's still angry at you, I know.

Yeah, she hasn't returned my calls or my texts

for over a week.

I can't say that I blame her.

And thank you.

- Thank me? - Yes, for coming today.

I mean, you should be angry with me, too.

No.

Remember when we used to come here and hide from the press?

Yes.

You used to tell me in your broken English

all about growing up in Italy,

all the beautiful places you were going to take me.

Hey, my English wasn't so bad then.

Well, maybe it was,

but I remember you telling me that L.A.

was the most wonderful place on earth,

especially for actors.

That's when you picked up and moved to New York.

Well, didn't exactly have much of a choice.

( sighs ) God, we were such kids then, Riccardo.

Did we even have a plan?

We didn't need a plan. We had each other.

Why didn't you tell me about the baby?

Probably for the same reason you didn't tell me

you were illegal.

Pride.

Or maybe I was just naive.

I wanted you to marry me for love,

not for some sense of duty.

Mother always suspected you didn't have papers,

and then when you didn't show up,

just figured you'd chickened out.

I would have loved to see Lori grow up.

I'm so sorry, Riccardo.

I thought it was the best thing

for everyone at the time.

Then years later...

well, Sam was a wonderful father to her.

And if it's any consolation, I felt guilty.

Especially when I read about the fact

that you didn't have a wife or family.

No one special in your life?

No, I don't blame you for that.

I'm a romantic at heart.

I didn't want to settle for something

and it wasn't as good as we had before.

Eileen: Down here.

- Hey, there. - Hey!

Oh, let me help you with that.

Thanks.

Imagine, this is all just for the shower tomorrow.

What's the wedding going to be like?

How goes your truce with Lori?

Tentative, to say the least.

I mean, she's being civil, but for a while there,

I wasn't even sure she was going to let me come to the wedding.

Sheridan, that will never happen, you know it.

She'll come around even more. You just wait and see.

I'm a little more worried about you

and your Italian stallion meeting up without a script,

if you know what I mean.

What do you think?

Well, I haven't been able to bring you up to speed much

since filming had finished, but...

You know all the piss and vinegar

just kind of drained out of me.

I can't stay angry at him.

I can't believe I was dumb enough to trust Mom.

Hmm, do I sense a return of your appreciation for Verdi

and all things Italian?

I don't know about all things Italian,

but I can at least look at a plate of fettuccini now

without getting indigestion.

We did meet up like you suggested yesterday.

( gasping ) Wait, wait, meet up with him like in a date?

No, meet up as in meet up for coffee.

( giggling ) Oh, God, I just love dirt.

Tell all, tell all. You know I just love that kind of stuff,

especially when my own family's rolling around in it.

No dirt to sweep under the rug here.

Besides, at this age, it'd be more of a thrill

to see Lori's face if she found out

I really was having sex than actually doing it.

He has been rather gracious though.

Gracious enough to, um, stoke the boiler room

down in the basement, and get it all heated up?

All right, Eileen, enough with the euphemisms, okay?

You started it.

Oh, besides, I think it's kind of cool.

It's kind of like when we were in high school

and the football jock sees the nerdy little girl

at the high school dance,

and ( sighs ) it's just--

Ooh, have you told the papers? Did they pick up the story?

No, and I fail to see any similarities.

At this age, after 30 years, I mean, all we have in common

is that we procreated a daughter 30 years ago.

Hardly a story to keep up with.

30 years and you've rekindled an old romance.

( giggling )

Oh, honey, let's stoke those fires.

They can huff and puff as much as they want.

This campfire girl's not going for any more merit badges.

( doorbell rings )

And not a word to Lori about this, okay? Understand?

Spoiler.

( knocking at door )

Coming!

( knocking at door )

- Ciao. - Ciao.

That's what I love about you Americans,

always so punctual.

Oh, well, you look like you're ready to go,

so Italians can't be all that laid back.

And if we're talking stereotypes,

I just found out about my Italian side.

No wonder I always talk with my hands.

Well, I had to be ready.

I have a first impression to make.

I'm meeting my future son-in-law tonight.

Oh, I wouldn't worry. He's looking forward to it.

Compared to meeting Grandma Irene,

this is a piece of cake.

If it was like my first, it went like a lead brick.

Yeah, a lead balloon.

It went over like a lead balloon.

- Yeah, that's what I said. - Whatever.

I meant to tell you, Daniel's actually a big fan.

Dragged me to one of your art house films last year,

with subtitles, no less.

Little did I know while watching Don Giovessi order a hit,

I'd be a part of his little mafia one day.

Oh, well, I guess life is full of little surprises.

- Shall we? - Ah, si.

( music playing )

Powerful stuff, man.

Looks like you got a winner on your hands.

- Thanks to you, bro. - Ah, don't mention it.

Just make sure they put my name right in the credits.

Great work, you two, despite your artistic differences.

Oh, okay, but I gotta split, but it's been a real slice.

Nice job, Frank. I'm sure the studio's gonna be happy,

and I think I can get the marketing machine up

and running now to really promote this baby.

So, as soon as you have a trailer,

you gotta let me know, okay?

And I'm gonna start setting up the talk show circuit

for you guys, all right?

- Lunch Thursday? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great.

Hey, guys, don't keep me in suspense here.

What did you think?

- Well-- - Well--

You go ahead, Riccardo.

No, no, ladies first, please.

Jeez, where was all this politeness

when we were filming?

I can hardly stand it. Come on, one of you talk.

I have to tell you, Frank, It really moved me.

I was able to forget it was me up there.

That constantly irritating way my lip curls, didn't bother me.

And I was not hating

that I look half-dead in that hospital scene.

I'm telling you, you guys still got it.

What about you, Frank?

Oh, it's very good. It's very good, Frank.

It's just like James said, you have a winner.

Still rough,

but you're okay with the cut?

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

Actually it's super good, yes, and you know,

Mark has been so good to me,

letting me stay in his place all this time.

I rented a place, so I'm gonna be here

for the wedding and the release.

And so guys, don't worry, I'll stay around this time.

I'll be right back.

- Hey, Riccardo, you okay? - Sure, why?

Oh, I don't know, maybe because you look like you think

somebody really died up there on screen?

Maybe I'm just that kind of a sensitive guy.

No, seriously, is everything okay with it?

I mean, I thought the production value was great,

and your acting's spot on as usual.

Well, thank you, Miss O'Connor.

Very nice compliment coming from you.

It's just that, it made me think,

you know, about a lot of things,

like, maybe everyone should try to remake their own ending.

Oh, and I just thought of something.

You remember my friend, Luigi,

that owns a restaurant in Beverly Hills?

He suggested that you take a look at his menu.

If you're still having the rehearsal dinner,

then I'll be more than happy to take you

so that you can meet the owner.

- Uh, maybe Friday? - Friday?

- Yeah, that would be nice. - Okay, then... until Friday.

I thought you said that we were just going

to be checking the menu for the rehearsal dinner.

This is beginning to feel suspiciously like a date.

I didn't say this was going to be only business.

It's not every day that I get to go out to dinner

with a beautiful girl in a city full of memories.

Oh, according to the tabloids,

that's not exactly what I heard.

Well, let me change that.

It's not every day that I get to go out to dinner

with a beautiful woman who brings back

so many wonderful memories.

And who knew that one of those little memories

would now be over 30 years old and all grown up?

- To Lori. - To our daughter, Lori.

Don't you wonder how different our lives would have been

if I would have shown up at the church that day?

Oh, I try not to.

But you were happy with Sam, weren't you?

Probably happier than I deserved to be.

Sam came riding in on his trusty white steed

to save the damsel in distress,

just in the nick of time.

But you loved him?

Eventually, sure, but never like us.

That kind of thing only happens once.

You know, Sheridan, I think we should try again.

What if it's still there?

We were a couple of love-struck teenagers.

We had pie in the sky dreams and not a clue about life.

At this stage of our lives I can't even fathom

going back there again.

Just because we are a little older

means we cannot find love?

We can live happily ever after.

That doesn't happen only in the movies, you know.

What happened to that heart-warming,

free-spirited girl that I used to know?

She had to grow up.

One of us had to raise our daughter.

I'm sorry, Sheridan.

I'm sorry I didn't start things right tonight.

I promise you if we do this again,

I will not bring up anything from the past.

No apologies necessary.

Considering the food and wine,

I can guarantee you we'll be back here again.

- Yes? - The rehearsal dinner?

You do remember the reason we're here, right?

Yes, and that reminds me.

I wanted to mention to you about the dinner,

that Lori wants to make an announcement

that I am her biological father.

She was very insistent.

She wants to bring it out in the open

before the wedding.

Are you okay with that?

I don't really see where I have much of a choice.

( sighs ) Poor Sam.

She's just doing this to spite me.

No, Sheridan, she's not.

She loves you, and she understands.

She's doing it for me, she's doing it for her.

She wants a complete family, at least on that special day.

Well, I guess like everything else lately,

I'll adapt,

but are you okay with being outed?

I mean, you haven't exactly had a lot of time

to adjust to fatherhood.

No, I'm fine.

As a matter of fact, I'm flattered,

but it's a little strange.

It makes me think about being a better person,

and a better example for her.

I'm very familiar with that feeling.

It's called being a parent.

Whoo! I guess we should get our full-figured

fanny packs down to the church.

- You ready, Mom? - Ah, well, we're not going to be able

to talk her out of it, I guess we might as well.

- Mom. - Grandma.

Oh, please. Look, Eileen, it certainly isn't

the Publisher's Clearinghouse poster child for marriage.

And, and look at the two of us,

after all these years we're still alone.

- And on that cheery note-- - Oh, come on, let's go.

Fine.

- Go get 'em, kid. - Thanks, Grandma.

Grandma's right, you know?

What about, honey?

About you being alone in your old age.

Oh, gee, thanks, and here I thought

I looked pretty good today.

Mom, you look great. That's the point.

You're still young enough to enjoy life,

start over again.

Oh, honey, I had a great life with your father,

even if he was taken too soon.

I'm happy being a grandma. I love my career.

Maybe after today I can be a grandma again.

( chuckles )

Come on, this is your special day.

Don't waste time worrying about me.

That's just it, Mom. I listened to all those times

you said to not waste the good things in life.

You also told me one good example

is worth 10 sermons about the same thing.

How about a good example now?

You and Riccardo had something good once.

You even almost got married.

Oh, enough. Don't remind me.

The last thing I need is dating advice

from my daughter on her wedding day.

Lori, we need to focus on you,

and that handsome man waiting for you.

You know, I'm not really good at this technological stuff.

I think you're gonna have to teach me.

That's okay.

Nana said you have a, um, disadvantage

'cause your first language isn't English.

She did, did she?

Yep. She also said I should call you Nonno,

because that's what grandpas in Italy are called.

Yes, son, that would be very nice.

You know, I don't have a grandson,

and I would be very proud to be your grandpa.

I guess that would be okay.

Grandpa Sam's gone to heaven,

so I don't have one now.

Well, I know, and I also heard

that you and Grandpa Sam used to play a lot together.

So maybe you and I can play now that your mommy and Daniel

are going on their honeymoon.

I guess.

Are you gonna stay at Nana's house, too, while they're gone?

Well, I don't think Nana's gonna let me have a sleepover,

but maybe you can talk to her about me.

I don't even think Max will be able

to convince her of that one.

Ladies.

Well, maybe we could cheer him on

with an s-c-o-r-e.

Score.

Well, at least he showed up at the church this time.

Mama! What did I tell you two about behaving today?

( laughter )

Okay, I got the picture. Perfect.

Excuse me, Lori, Mr. Rossi, I think we should get started.

Is it okay if I cue the organist?

Would you just give her just a minute, Victoria?

Sure, sure, no problem.

Just let me know when you're ready.

- Yeah, we will, thank you. - Thank you.

I know this is your special day,

but I have a little favor to ask of you.

Okay.

Yeah, that works for me.

If not now, when?

Victoria.

( music playing )

( wedding march playing )

Ladies and gentlemen, you have been asked here today

to witness the celebration of life and love

joining together in holy matrimony.

And on this joyous occasion,

I would like to start by asking,

who gives this young man, Daniel Gupta up in marriage?

I do, Daniel's mother.

And who gives this young woman,

Lori Simmons, up in marriage?

Both: We do, Lori's parents.

We are going to deviate a little

from our prescribed paths today,

and I have had a special request

by bride's father.

Mr. Rossi.

Sheridan, over 30 years ago I was on my way to a church,

very much like this one,

to marry you

with this license with me.

Through no fault of my own-- well, almost-- I never made it,

and I've regretted it ever since.

In front of God and your family--

well, our family now--

I ask you to please give me a last chance to love.

Sheridan, would you marry me here, now, today,

so I don't spend another day wondering

if you would do it all over again?

Uh, may I just say something?

All: No!

Yes! Oh, yes.

Can you help me get up?

It was easier the last time.

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life could have turned out so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made my life complete ♪

♪ Life sometimes gives us second chances ♪

♪ To be as we were meant to be ♪

♪ To laugh, to love, to share some glances ♪

♪ A heart beating new so bold and free ♪

♪ I've learned to cherish moments shared ♪

♪ And dare not think what might have been ♪

♪ To grab at life with loving care ♪

♪ Or risk the loss of you again ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ Life could have turned out so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made my life complete ♪

♪ I learned the steps to every dance ♪

♪ But always missed the beat ♪

♪ Till life and love and circumstance ♪

♪ Gave me wings for being ♪

♪ Life's much too short so be prepared ♪

♪ For every now and then

♪ Reflect on what will make you dare ♪

♪ To know if not now then when ♪

♪ Had I only known life

♪ Life could have turned out so differently ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ We could have made so many memories ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ There would be no need to leave ♪

♪ Had I only known

♪ You would have made my life complete ♪