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Downloaded from RARBG
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It was Christmas Eve, babe
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In the drunk tank
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An old man said to me
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Won't see another one
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And then we sang a song
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The Rare Old Mountain's Dew
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I turned my face away
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And dreamed about you...
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00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,083
Hey, this one looks good.
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What in the fires of Ogord
y'all think you doing?
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Hey, Captain. We're just, uh...
Have you ever heard of Christmas?
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What?
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Well, it's a celebration we have
once a year on Earth,
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where everybody gets presents
for each other.
16
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So, me and Kraglin made this tree
and we got gifts for everyone.
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It was Pete's idea.
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Eh...
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- And this one here's for you.
- Don't come at me with no damn gifts.
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What a Ravager gets, he works for.
We ain't about no damn handouts.
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00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:41,166
- It's more like a sign of appreciation.
- That sounds more like sentiment, boy.
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That may be okay for you
mushy types on Terra,
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but out here in the cold rigors of space,
it's what'll get you killed.
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And you, you ought to know better.
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Now, get this crap out of here.
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If it ain't out of here before I get back,
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you're both gonna be cleaning the latrines
for the rest of the damn year.
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00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:04,750
- But that's Gef's favorite job.
- You talking back now, Kraglin?
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00:02:04,751 --> 00:02:05,833
No.
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00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,083
I hate Christmas!
31
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:22,125
And that's how
Yondu ruined Christmas forever.
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That is so sad.
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I like the part where Yondu
kicked over the tree.
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Anyways, I just saw on the Multi-calendar
35
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that right now on Earth,
it's almost Christmastime.
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So, yeah, it kind of brings back
some memories.
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Yondu had a point.
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Ever since buying Knowhere
from The Collector,
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00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,666
we don't have time for trivialities
like Christmas.
40
00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:53,083
This place needs a lot of fixing up
before it's livable.
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00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:56,541
- Yeah, I reckon we've got work to do.
- Yeah.
42
00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,833
That was such a heartbreaking story.
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I know. I hate stories
where everybody lives.
44
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:16,875
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
45
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,541
Cosmo, what use is telekinesis
if you can't even aim?
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You wanna do it? Do it.
47
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Just concentrate, you stupid mutt.
48
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What?
49
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,541
I refuse to do any more work
while you demean me.
50
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All right, all right.
I'm sorry. Chill out.
51
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:43,208
Also, I want one of those
delicious treats in that bag.
52
00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:53,791
All right, that's it.
Back to work.
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00:03:57,583 --> 00:03:58,833
Here he comes.
54
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,500
Hey, Peter.
55
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,416
Oh. Hi, Bzermikitokolok.
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00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,374
My bandmates and I have been mastering
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00:04:06,375 --> 00:04:09,458
these old Earth instruments
and working on a little ditty.
58
00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:11,541
And I thought you might
be able to help us out
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00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,625
as it's about
one of your Earth traditions.
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00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,416
- Oh?
- Christmas.
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00:04:15,708 --> 00:04:16,707
Oh.
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00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:19,750
Everything I know about Christmas,
I learned from Rocket,
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who learned from Cosmo,
who learned from Kraglin,
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00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:23,707
who learned from you.
65
00:04:23,708 --> 00:04:25,708
So I thought I might just take it back
to the source
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00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:28,333
and make sure
I understand this all correctly.
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00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:30,875
This is, after all, a historical document.
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00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,250
- Okay. Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
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00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,957
Out on the third planet
closest to the sun
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00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:38,916
There's a special celebration
And it sounds quite fun
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00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,999
A jolly old fellow brings toys to everyone
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On a holiday they call Christmas
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That's perfect. Good. Bzer, good job.
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Now I'm not gonna lie
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00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,458
Oh, there's more.
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00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:50,833
It makes no sense to me
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00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:56,333
But here's what I've discovered
about this Christmas mystery
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00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:58,875
I'm super busy. Is this a long song?
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00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,416
One, two, three.
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00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:05,958
Santa is a furry freak
with epic superpowers
81
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:12,000
He flies to every human home
in under 14 hours
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He's a master burglar
83
00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:15,665
No.
84
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,500
A pro at picking locks
85
00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:18,582
No.
86
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:20,833
If you don't leave milk and cookies out
87
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:24,457
He will put dung in your socks
88
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That is not part of the lore at all.
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If you act nicely through the night
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00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:32,583
And don't jump on your bed
91
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:38,458
Santa comes with sugar plums
and hurls them at your head
92
00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:41,624
But if you're on his naughty list
93
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:44,500
He shoots missiles at your toes
94
00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:48,436
He might just roast your chestnuts
95
00:05:48,437 --> 00:05:52,040
With his powerful flamethrower
96
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:54,083
No, he doesn't have a flamethrower.
97
00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:55,833
Rein, rein, rein, rein, rein
98
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:56,915
That's kinda cool.
99
00:05:56,916 --> 00:05:59,208
Deer, deer, deer, deer, deer
100
00:05:59,708 --> 00:06:05,208
I don't know what Christmas is
But Christmastime is here
101
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:11,791
He's compelled his creepy elves
to do his every wish
102
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:12,915
Huh?
103
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:18,416
One sought to be a dentist
Now he's sleeping with the fish
104
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:24,541
Mrs. Claus, she works the pole
Plans her man's demise
105
00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:25,624
No!
106
00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:28,374
Soon the elves will all rise up
107
00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:31,125
And stab out Santa's eyes
108
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,791
I am Groot.
109
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,125
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
110
00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:39,291
Earthlings are so weird
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00:06:39,292 --> 00:06:40,415
That's true.
112
00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:45,083
I don't know what Christmas is
But Christmastime is here
113
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,083
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
114
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,500
Earthlings are so weird
115
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:57,333
I don't know what Christmas is
But Christmastime is here
116
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,916
What the heck's a turtledove?
117
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:05,041
And who lit up that deer?
118
00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:12,707
I don't know what Christmas is
But Christmastime is here
119
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:18,333
I don't know what Christmas is
But Christmastime is here
120
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,000
Or maybe it's there
Or it's somewhere
121
00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:24,750
I don't know.
122
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:30,166
- You just got these instruments?
- Thank you, Knowhere.
123
00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,958
Have you ever seen a crowd more into it?
124
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,750
He loved it, guys.
125
00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:45,000
It sounds like Christmas
is a wonderful time,
126
00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:46,916
and Yondu ruined it for Peter.
127
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,458
I feel like I should do something.
128
00:07:49,666 --> 00:07:54,000
- Why?
- Because of, you know, my secret.
129
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,083
The one only you know.
130
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:58,541
That you ate the entire bowl of zarg-nuts
in the commissary?
131
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:00,833
- My other secret.
- That you're Quill's sister?
132
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:04,083
Why don't you just tell people the truth?
133
00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:09,291
Peter's father, our father,
killed his mother and tried to kill him.
134
00:08:10,541 --> 00:08:13,583
I don't want him to be reminded of that
every time he sees me.
135
00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:15,541
No, I meant about the zarg-nuts.
136
00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,166
Oh. I don't think anyone cares
about that but you.
137
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,332
Maybe because I'm his sister,
138
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,083
I feel like I should give Peter
a happy Christmas.
139
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,916
He's so sad about Gamora being gone.
140
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:30,541
Maybe if we gave Peter
a really wonderful Christmas gift,
141
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:31,832
it would make him happy.
142
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:34,666
Well, we could give him those zarg-nuts,
except you ate them all.
143
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,541
Get over the zarg-nuts!
144
00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:43,083
- What kind of present?
- Something special he will never forget.
145
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:48,040
- What about someone special?
- What?
146
00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:51,041
Over the years, Quill has talked about
one person more than any other.
147
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:53,791
A legendary hero
who has saved countless lives.
148
00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:56,458
We could give him to Quill as a present.
149
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:07,540
Kyra, hey, honey.
150
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:08,665
Hey, baby.
151
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:11,041
I can't wait for you guys
to get back from New York.
152
00:09:11,042 --> 00:09:12,437
- Did you get the stuff?
- Yep.
153
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:13,833
Yeah, I got all the presents.
154
00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:18,166
Everything is set
for the perfect family Christmas.
155
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,041
I don't care what the neighbors say
156
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,708
Christmastime is near
157
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:34,166
I don't care what anyone says
158
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:36,957
Christmas is full of cheer
159
00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:38,583
All I know is that Santa's...
160
00:09:38,584 --> 00:09:40,000
Wow!
161
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,458
I wonder which one belongs to Kevin Bacon.
162
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:56,166
Drax, why are they staring?
163
00:09:57,333 --> 00:10:00,375
You put the cloaking device on
like you said you did, right?
164
00:10:00,376 --> 00:10:01,500
Yes.
165
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:09,500
I can plainly see that you just did it
right now in front of me.
166
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:10,916
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
167
00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:12,000
No, I didn't.
168
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,166
I wish I brought Groot.
169
00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:20,833
So, we'll go down into the city
and ask people where Kevin Bacon is.
170
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,000
Do you think
Kevin Bacon is the leader of the world
171
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,916
or just to most people?
172
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,791
- I think everybody.
- Oh! I'm so excited.
173
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:36,750
I can hear the sleigh bells
coming around the bend
174
00:10:36,751 --> 00:10:39,166
Here comes the darkest end
175
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:41,583
Christmas is here
176
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,833
Look.
177
00:10:58,208 --> 00:10:59,791
Steve!
178
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:06,208
- Why is he running away?
- I don't know.
179
00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:13,916
- Hey!
- No! I'm sorry. GoBots killed his cousin.
180
00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:17,875
- I'll rip your head off!
- Drax! Stop being a bigot.
181
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:24,916
Oh. Hey, can we get a picture?
Come on, guys. Come on. Ready?
182
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:30,083
- Okay, amazing. Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
183
00:11:30,084 --> 00:11:32,166
We got a picture with the God of War.
184
00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:52,375
My dear
185
00:11:52,541 --> 00:11:55,499
Is this Christmas?
186
00:11:55,500 --> 00:12:01,000
Whatever happened to that festive cheer?
187
00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,915
Could Kevin Bacon be in here?
188
00:12:19,916 --> 00:12:22,375
Don't think I have the energy
189
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:24,832
To add to my already mad rush
190
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,499
The perfect gift for me would be
191
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,541
Completions and connections left from
192
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,790
Last year, ski shop
193
00:12:32,791 --> 00:12:34,874
Encounter, most interesting
194
00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:36,915
Had his number but never the time
195
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,665
Most of '81 passed along those lines
196
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,936
So deck those halls
Trim those trees
197
00:12:40,937 --> 00:12:43,207
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer
198
00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,395
I just need to catch my breath
199
00:12:45,396 --> 00:12:47,583
Give us your finest libations.
200
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:50,790
Have you seen Kevin Bacon anywhere?
201
00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:53,125
Why would I know where
Kevin Bacon is located?
202
00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:57,311
Calendar picture, frozen landscape
203
00:12:57,312 --> 00:12:59,551
Chilled this room for 24 days
204
00:12:59,552 --> 00:13:01,791
Evergreens, sparkling snow
205
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:11,916
Mmm. More.
206
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:27,041
- Come out and dance with us.
- Dancing is for people who are pathetic.
207
00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:31,125
- Well, how about a drink then?
- Yes!
208
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,040
Two shots of tequila, please.
209
00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:55,207
I can't believe not a single one
210
00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:59,791
of our new homies
know where Kevin Bacon is.
211
00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:04,000
There are tens of thousands of people
on this planet
212
00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:07,207
and we don't even know
what Kevin Bacon looks like.
213
00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:09,207
Said it was like Christmas
214
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:11,208
You wanna know where Kevin Bacon lives?
215
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:14,708
Yes.
216
00:14:23,541 --> 00:14:24,791
That's 40 bucks.
217
00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,166
Uh-oh.
218
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,125
I don't know where my money is.
219
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,499
Give it to me for free.
220
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,000
By the time we got to Oslo
221
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,208
Give me all your money.
222
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:46,958
The snow was gone
223
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:50,250
Drax, move faster.
224
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,083
It won't be exactly the same
as the one you have on Earth,
225
00:14:55,084 --> 00:14:56,999
but I'm sure it will serve your purpose.
226
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,166
Good. Good.
Now I'd like to get going
227
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:03,332
and have the toy shop operating full-blast
228
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:06,249
so that I can return
to Earth for Christmas.
229
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:11,250
'Cause, you know, Mrs. Claus
is a very good-natured woman. But...
230
00:15:11,251 --> 00:15:14,625
Santa Claus,
you will never return to Earth.
231
00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:15,707
Wait.
232
00:15:24,541 --> 00:15:25,666
Yeah. Can I help you?
233
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:31,125
Yes. We are looking for
the legendary Kevin Bacon.
234
00:15:31,126 --> 00:15:33,666
We're looking for
the legendary Kevin Bacon.
235
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:34,915
I just said that, Drax.
236
00:15:34,916 --> 00:15:37,392
Your voice is small and mousy.
I think maybe he didn't hear you.
237
00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:40,416
He heard. He's Kevin Bacon.
He's probably got great ears.
238
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,083
I'm sorry, guys. I can't help you.
239
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:44,916
But wait, wait, wait, wait.
240
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,541
Hello?
241
00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:50,998
Hello?
242
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,833
Hello? Hello? Hello!
243
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:03,625
He's gone. Look what you did.
244
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,541
You acted weird
and you made him not want to talk to us.
245
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000
Sorry.
246
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:16,458
Do you think you can toss me
over the gate if you...
247
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,083
Ow!
248
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,833
- What are you doing?
- Tossing you over the gate.
249
00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:30,416
I didn't mean right that second.
I meant after I was ready.
250
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,832
I wasn't even done talking.
251
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:34,916
Toss you over the gate.
Don't toss you over the gate.
252
00:16:34,917 --> 00:16:36,041
Make up your mind.
253
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,666
Whoa!
254
00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:58,791
- I want this funny man.
- Don't just take stuff.
255
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,333
Oh.
256
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,083
But I guess that's what it's here for.
257
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,666
Kevin Bacon!
258
00:17:14,708 --> 00:17:16,458
Kevin Bacon!
259
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:19,750
Kevin Bacon!
260
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,750
Kevin Bacon!
261
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,457
Kevin Bacon!
262
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:34,165
Kevin Bacon!
263
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:39,083
Okay, guys, I don't know what
you're thinking, but this is not cool.
264
00:17:39,084 --> 00:17:40,291
This is private property.
265
00:17:40,416 --> 00:17:46,291
Now, kindly put down my elf
and my candy cane and go.
266
00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:48,583
I'm calling the police right now.
267
00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:55,500
911. What's your emergency?
268
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,791
You're coming with us.
As a Christmas present.
269
00:17:57,792 --> 00:18:01,208
911. Can I help you? Hello? Hello?
270
00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:04,708
There's two... I don't know what they are.
People in costumes.
271
00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:08,583
I want an alien for Christmas
272
00:18:08,584 --> 00:18:12,124
Bring me an alien this year
273
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,708
I want a little green guy
About three feet high...
274
00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:23,083
I want an alien for Christmas
this year
275
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:43,957
- Wait.
- What?
276
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,875
I left my little funny man
back in the house.
277
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,375
- What?
- I wanna go back and get him.
278
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,249
But Kevin Bacon is gonna get away.
279
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,333
But you still have your swirly
red and white curly man.
280
00:18:51,334 --> 00:18:54,125
How can you possibly think this is a man?
281
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,958
- What is it?
- I don't know. A shape?
282
00:18:58,083 --> 00:19:00,541
Well, how is it fair you get to keep it
and I don't?
283
00:19:00,542 --> 00:19:03,250
Because I was responsible
and held on to it.
284
00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:08,708
Drax, do you love Peter
and want to save Christmas?
285
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,625
Or do you want a little funny man?
286
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,333
Uh...
287
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:20,375
- A little funny man.
- No!
288
00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:48,500
- Mr. Bacon. We got your 911 call.
- You gotta get these things away from me.
289
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,165
Hey, I'm a police officer.
290
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:55,208
I don't know what's going on here,
but you need to back up or I'll shoot.
291
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,375
Raise your hands above your head! Stop!
292
00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:08,041
Stop. It tickles.
Stop. I'm gonna pee my pants.
293
00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,791
- Sleep.
- Hey!
294
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:22,062
- Sleep.
- Let him go! Let him go! Let him go!
295
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:24,000
Freeze! Get on the ground!
Get on the ground!
296
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:33,750
Sleep.
297
00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:49,707
Drax! You can't just kill people.
298
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:52,166
Well, how am I supposed to know the rules
if no one tells me?
299
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:04,666
Are you okay?
300
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:08,083
We are not doing anything wrong.
301
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,582
We are just taking the legendary hero
Kevin Bacon,
302
00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:14,916
to give him as a present to a friend
who is sad about Christmas.
303
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,166
Okay.
304
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,125
Here.
305
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:28,541
I really wanted this,
but we're even now, okay?
306
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,250
Sure.
307
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,708
That doesn't look like a man to you,
does it?
308
00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:38,291
A man? No.
309
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,875
Of course not.
My friend is being an idiot.
310
00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:52,791
You would love to come with us.
311
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:58,333
- Hey, where are we going?
- First, there.
312
00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:01,478
Whoa!
313
00:22:01,479 --> 00:22:02,583
Coolness.
314
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:04,791
Shoo bop, shoo bop
315
00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:06,625
Sha la la la la
316
00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:08,916
Shoo bop, shoo bop
317
00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:12,625
I ain't got no time for it now
Oh, no, no
318
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:14,874
I got to make this holiday glow
319
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,957
Like a lightbulb
320
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:18,791
Are you friends with the Fonz?
321
00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:21,166
- Who?
- The Fonz.
322
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:25,333
- Fonz. He's a hero, like you.
- Have the two of you ever had a team-up?
323
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:27,812
Oh. Well, the Fonz's real name
is Henry Winkler.
324
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:30,291
And, yeah, I do know him.
He's a very nice guy.
325
00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:33,833
Would you consider grabbing dinner,
like, one time a team-up?
326
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:36,916
No. Eating together is not a team-up.
327
00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:39,250
Tell us, what was it like
when you had to save a small town
328
00:22:39,251 --> 00:22:40,500
by dancing like an idiot?
329
00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:42,665
Oh. Well, that wasn't me.
330
00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:46,833
That was a character that I played,
Ren McCormack, in the movie, Footloose.
331
00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:48,083
What?
332
00:22:48,291 --> 00:22:50,249
What about when you fought and defeated
333
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:54,000
the super-strong masked killer
Jason Voorhees in the woods?
334
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,166
Yeah.
335
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,458
Nope. Again, not me.
Just a character I played.
336
00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:01,333
And he didn't actually kill Jason.
337
00:23:01,625 --> 00:23:05,083
He got stabbed through the neck
with an arrow.
338
00:23:07,541 --> 00:23:08,541
Yeah.
339
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:16,041
He's an actor!
He's never actually saved anyone.
340
00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:18,583
- But actors are repugnant.
- I know.
341
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:24,000
They make me feel gross and creepy
when they pretend to be someone else.
342
00:23:24,001 --> 00:23:26,500
No.
Acting is a wonderful profession.
343
00:23:26,501 --> 00:23:29,000
I mean, you don't get to live
just one life,
344
00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:30,499
you get to live so many lives...
345
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:35,083
We got Quill the worst gift ever.
A disgusting actor!
346
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:40,916
- This is the worst day of my life!
- We ruined Christmas worse than Yondu.
347
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:45,083
Peter was a child when he left Earth.
His memory is all screwed up.
348
00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,041
He doesn't remember things right.
349
00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:53,333
Kevin Bacon, you have to pretend
you're an actual hero,
350
00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:55,666
or else Christmas is doomed.
351
00:23:57,541 --> 00:23:58,915
Blimey, mate.
352
00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:01,791
I can't wait to storm them Nazis
on the beach.
353
00:24:02,416 --> 00:24:05,082
- What are you doing?
- I'm a hero, ain't I then?
354
00:24:05,083 --> 00:24:08,250
I'm a private in the British Army
during World War II.
355
00:24:08,251 --> 00:24:10,582
No. Just your regular voice.
356
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:14,666
Oh. Okay.
Yeah, sure, fine. Hello. I'm the Batman.
357
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:19,000
- I mean, hello. I'm Bruce Wayne.
- Who is Bruce Wayne?
358
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:23,125
No! Don't be someone else. Be Kevin Bacon,
but, like, if you didn't suck!
359
00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,208
That's something.
360
00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:33,500
How weird. 'Cause, like, normally,
it would really piss me off,
361
00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:34,583
but I don't know.
362
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:41,291
Right now, for some reason,
I just feel really great about all of it.
363
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,500
Hmm.
364
00:24:44,041 --> 00:24:45,083
We hate you.
365
00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:02,083
We watch the children playing
366
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,333
Beside the Christmas tree
367
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Presents are wrapped up
It's beautiful
368
00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:19,708
And secretly the gifts you hide
369
00:25:20,541 --> 00:25:26,458
The fun awaits for you inside
370
00:25:27,625 --> 00:25:30,958
Christmastime has come
371
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:35,250
There'll be toys for everyone
372
00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:42,583
'Cause Christmastime has come for you
373
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,083
I remember dreaming
374
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:52,458
Wishing, hoping, praying for this day
375
00:25:52,459 --> 00:25:54,125
Now I sit and watch them
376
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:58,333
The little ones I love
377
00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:03,708
So excited by the way
378
00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:08,833
Christmastime has come
379
00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:12,875
There'll be toys for everyone
380
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:20,250
'Cause Christmastime has come for you
381
00:26:30,166 --> 00:26:32,833
And now the word is given
382
00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:36,958
It's time to peer inside
383
00:26:39,708 --> 00:26:41,000
Are you kidding me?
384
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:46,750
So anxious for your look of joy
385
00:26:47,041 --> 00:26:52,416
Merry Christmas, Peter.
From me and Drax and, you know,
386
00:26:55,458 --> 00:26:56,625
all of us, really.
387
00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:01,750
Christmastime has come
388
00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:05,666
There'll be toys for everyone
389
00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:13,083
'Cause Christmastime has come
390
00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:16,125
For you
391
00:27:18,625 --> 00:27:20,791
Oh! You guys.
392
00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:25,083
There'll be toys for everyone
393
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:27,874
What did you do?
394
00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:30,708
'Cause Christmastime has come
395
00:27:30,709 --> 00:27:33,083
For you
396
00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:44,750
Hey, uh, guys,
I'm about to pass out.
397
00:27:44,751 --> 00:27:46,333
There's no air in here.
398
00:27:58,041 --> 00:27:59,125
Ta-da!
399
00:27:59,333 --> 00:28:02,500
You must be Pete. Merry Christmas!
400
00:28:03,791 --> 00:28:07,333
It's Kevin Bacon. He's not a loser.
He's great. We don't hate him at all.
401
00:28:09,583 --> 00:28:10,582
What'd you do?
402
00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,291
- What?
- What did you do?
403
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:16,791
- We got you Kevin Bacon as a present.
- You got me a human being as a present?
404
00:28:16,792 --> 00:28:18,958
What better gift for the guy
who has everything
405
00:28:18,959 --> 00:28:21,582
than an actual human living person?
406
00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:25,625
This isn't a Christmas gift!
This is human trafficking!
407
00:28:25,626 --> 00:28:28,333
- Yes!
- It was mostly Drax's idea.
408
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,540
It was.
409
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,208
Hey, Pete, I got to stick up
for these guys,
410
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:33,165
because to tell you the truth,
411
00:28:33,166 --> 00:28:36,458
I am totally stoked
about the whole thing, man.
412
00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:42,291
- You used your powers on him, didn't you?
- Maybe. I can't remember.
413
00:28:42,292 --> 00:28:45,083
Get Kevin Bacon out of the trance now!
414
00:28:49,208 --> 00:28:50,833
Just be what you really are.
415
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:05,875
Dude, calm down. We're not gonna hurt you.
416
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:09,791
- That's a talking raccoon.
- I'll kill you. Don't ever call me that!
417
00:29:09,792 --> 00:29:11,207
Whoa!
418
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:13,125
Sir, sir, sir. Right here, right here.
419
00:29:13,583 --> 00:29:17,250
Kraglin, prepare The Bowie
for his transport back to Earth.
420
00:29:17,251 --> 00:29:19,208
- Aye, Captain.
- Mr. Bacon, I am so sorry.
421
00:29:19,375 --> 00:29:20,374
This is really embarrassing.
422
00:29:20,375 --> 00:29:23,083
I know you're worried sick
and your family is, too.
423
00:29:23,084 --> 00:29:24,958
We're gonna get you back home immediately.
424
00:29:24,959 --> 00:29:26,165
I am Groot.
425
00:29:26,166 --> 00:29:28,833
Oh. Suddenly you thought
it was a bad idea all along?
426
00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:29,915
I am Groot.
427
00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:32,556
Dude, I literally just saw you
wheel him out in front of everybody.
428
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:38,333
I'm gonna let you go, Kevin Bacon.
Don't run.
429
00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:41,125
- You're not gonna run?
- No, no. No, no, no.
430
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:47,458
- Go get Kevin Bacon.
- I've got it.
431
00:29:48,416 --> 00:29:51,500
- Don't kill him.
- You can't outrun me, Bacon!
432
00:30:03,041 --> 00:30:04,665
Hey, that man was a plant.
433
00:30:04,666 --> 00:30:08,625
Oh, Groot? He's just a kid.
Sorry about all this stuff.
434
00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:10,708
What's that on your head?
435
00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:14,958
That is a device for
controlling a flying arrow.
436
00:30:14,959 --> 00:30:17,333
But I ain't quite got the hang of it yet.
437
00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,707
I know this must all be a shock to you,
438
00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:25,083
but it's only 'cause you mean a great deal
to Pete that they've done it.
439
00:30:26,708 --> 00:30:28,290
Pete didn't have much to love growing up,
440
00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:32,041
but one thing he did love
was telling us all stories about you.
441
00:30:32,333 --> 00:30:36,000
- Me?
- You saved a town through dancing.
442
00:30:36,916 --> 00:30:41,708
And once, Pete saved the whole galaxy
with dancing. For real.
443
00:30:42,250 --> 00:30:43,958
You taught him how to be a hero,
444
00:30:44,958 --> 00:30:47,250
and now he might just be
the greatest hero alive.
445
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:53,415
Mant and these dopes,
446
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:58,625
they was just hoping you'd bring the joy
of Christmas back into his heart, is all.
447
00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:06,416
Whoa!
448
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,583
How on earth do you get reception up here?
449
00:31:14,250 --> 00:31:15,790
Couple of good satellite dishes out front
450
00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:18,541
will get you anything within about
400 million light-years.
451
00:31:18,542 --> 00:31:19,624
Hi, honey.
452
00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:20,749
Are you at the house?
453
00:31:20,750 --> 00:31:23,916
Yeah, no,
I'm just with some friends.
454
00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:26,958
Oh, okay. Well, what time
do you think you'll be home?
455
00:31:29,708 --> 00:31:33,708
Hey, would it be okay
if I'm just a little bit late?
456
00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:39,958
I got some friends here that
kind of need to learn about Christmas.
457
00:31:55,958 --> 00:31:59,583
When we are born
We are swaddled and snuggled
458
00:31:59,708 --> 00:32:03,333
Whispered to, fussed over
Tickled and cuddled
459
00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:07,166
When we grow up things get muddled
460
00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:09,958
And here it is Christmastime
461
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:15,666
Will you stop by
for a piece of delicious peach pie?
462
00:32:15,667 --> 00:32:18,666
While I tell you my yuletide wishes
463
00:32:18,875 --> 00:32:22,332
You can help me do the dishes
464
00:32:22,333 --> 00:32:25,291
'Cause here it is Christmastime
465
00:32:25,416 --> 00:32:27,458
And we all want someone
466
00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:31,250
Who will love us and hold us
467
00:32:32,958 --> 00:32:35,625
To curl up alongside
468
00:32:36,708 --> 00:32:39,375
When nights are the coldest
469
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:43,041
And we all want someone
470
00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:46,625
Who will hug us and kiss us
471
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:53,125
All I want is you for Christmas
472
00:32:55,166 --> 00:32:58,625
Let us examine the holiday spirit
473
00:32:58,750 --> 00:33:02,457
Let the small kids sing
so we can all hear it
474
00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:06,166
Light up a fire and pull the chair near it
475
00:33:06,291 --> 00:33:08,250
'Cause here it is Christmastime
476
00:33:08,375 --> 00:33:09,707
Bucky's arm?
477
00:33:09,708 --> 00:33:11,333
We all want someone
478
00:33:12,208 --> 00:33:13,207
Merry Christmas.
479
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:15,291
Who will love us and hold us
480
00:33:16,916 --> 00:33:19,250
To curl up alongside
481
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,666
When nights are the coldest
482
00:33:24,375 --> 00:33:26,416
And we all want someone
483
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:30,416
Who will hug us and kiss us
484
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,875
All I want is you for Christmas
485
00:34:09,208 --> 00:34:12,875
When we are born
we are swaddled and snuggled
486
00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:16,791
Whispered to, fussed over
Tickled and cuddled
487
00:34:16,792 --> 00:34:20,083
And when we grow up things get muddled
488
00:34:20,084 --> 00:34:22,937
And here it is Christmastime
489
00:34:22,938 --> 00:34:25,791
And we all want someone
490
00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:29,625
Who will love us and hold us
491
00:34:31,125 --> 00:34:33,708
To curl up alongside
492
00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:37,333
When nights are the coldest
493
00:34:38,666 --> 00:34:41,250
And we all want someone
494
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,875
Who will hug us and kiss us
495
00:34:47,583 --> 00:34:51,207
All I want is you for Christmas
496
00:34:51,208 --> 00:34:54,791
All I want is you for Christmas
497
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:58,958
All I want is you for Christmas
498
00:35:18,083 --> 00:35:20,416
- The best Christmas ever.
- Oh, come on. Bring it in.
499
00:35:21,875 --> 00:35:23,208
Okay. All right.
500
00:35:23,958 --> 00:35:26,500
- Love you, guys.
- We love you, Kevin Bacon.
501
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,624
Bye, Kevin Bacon.
502
00:35:28,625 --> 00:35:30,791
See you, Kevin Bacon.
503
00:35:30,916 --> 00:35:33,458
- We love you, Kevin Bacon.
- Hey, I'll see you at Easter.
504
00:35:35,875 --> 00:35:39,833
Wow. I guess all actors aren't
complete pieces of shit.
505
00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:50,791
I can't believe you guys did
all of that for me. I mean, why?
506
00:35:51,541 --> 00:35:52,540
Why what?
507
00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:56,000
Why would you go to the trouble of going
all the way to Earth
508
00:35:56,001 --> 00:35:59,208
to abduct Kevin Bacon?
509
00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:04,750
Kraglin told us the story
about how Yondu ruined Christmas.
510
00:36:05,416 --> 00:36:07,291
So we wanted to save it for you.
511
00:36:11,208 --> 00:36:13,625
I'm not sure Kraglin knows how
that story ended.
512
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:03,000
That is so sweet.
513
00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:06,500
That's Yondu.
514
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:13,625
I guess I just wanted to do something
special for you, because, well...
515
00:37:17,416 --> 00:37:20,250
- What?
- Your father, Peter.
516
00:37:22,166 --> 00:37:26,166
- He might be...
- Ego? He might be what?
517
00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:27,750
He might be...
518
00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:32,791
He is my father, too.
519
00:37:36,916 --> 00:37:38,750
Wait. So does that make you my sister?
520
00:37:44,083 --> 00:37:49,291
Mantis, that's the greatest
Christmas gift I could ever get.
521
00:38:00,583 --> 00:38:03,875
- Merry Christmas, Mantis.
- Merry Christmas, Peter.
522
00:38:24,666 --> 00:38:27,083
I could have been someone
523
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:30,582
Well, so could anyone
524
00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:36,708
You took my dreams from me
when I first found you
525
00:38:36,709 --> 00:38:39,604
I kept them with me, babe
526
00:38:39,605 --> 00:38:42,500
I put them with my own
527
00:38:43,583 --> 00:38:45,540
Can't make it all alone
528
00:38:45,541 --> 00:38:49,166
I've built my dreams around you
529
00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,749
The boys of the NYPD choir
530
00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:56,333
Still singing Galway Bay
531
00:38:56,458 --> 00:38:59,166
And the bells are ringing out
532
00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:01,791
For Christmas Day
533
00:41:41,375 --> 00:41:45,750
- Oh, come on, Groot!
- Groot ruined Christmas again.
534
00:41:46,541 --> 00:41:48,166
Now we got to have another special.
41420
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