Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

Announcer: ROBERT YOUNG...

AND JANE WYATT.

(laughter)

WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...

SO, YOU JUST FILL OUT THAT APPLICATION

AND BRING IT BACK, OH, SAY...

TOMORROW? TOMORROW?

IS THAT TOO LATE. WELL, NO.

BUT I JUST DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD DO IT THAT FAST.

OH, SURE. WELL, I'LL BE HERE TOMORROW.

UH, WHAT TIME? OH, HOW ABOUT... 11:15?

OKAY. 11:15.

I'LL BE HERE.

WILL I START TO WORK RIGHT AWAY?

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT TOMORROW.

11:15 A.M., IN THE MORNING.

RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL BE HERE. SO LONG, MR. STAGG.

OH, ONE MORE THING.

UH, HOW SOON WILL I GET MY FIRST RAISE?

GENERALLY, NOT UNTIL AFTER YOU GET THE JOB.

OH. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.

I'LL SEE YOU, MR. STAGG.

COLOR EYES.

WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU SAY MY EYES ARE?

STEEL BLUE?

SEAWEED GREEN, I'D SAY.

AND HURRY UP WITH THAT SILLY THING.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DRYING THE DISHES.

IT'S NOT A SILLY THING.

POSITION APPLYING FOR.

HOW DO YOU SPELL "STOCKROOM BOY?"

HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO HOLD DOWN A JOB

IF YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL IT?

THEY'RE NOT HIRING ME TO SPELL.

THEY'RE HIRING ME TO WORK.

WHO'S HIRING WHO TO WHAT?

OH, HI, DAD. HI.

GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA GO TO WORK.

AT LAST. I'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME FOR THIS DAY.

DAD, THIS JOB IS THE GREATEST... NO KIDDING.

I'M GONNA HANDLE ALL THE SPORTS STUFF

IN THE STOCKROOM AT GORMAN'S...

FOOTBALLS, BASEBALLS...

OH, FISHING RODS, GUNS... ALL DAY LONG.

WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?

WELL, IT'LL BE AFTER SCHOOL AND SATURDAYS...

UNTIL VACATION, AND THEN FULL TIME. PRETTY CRAZY, HUH?

YEAH. HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO PAY THEM FOR A JOB LIKE THAT?

WE'LL THEY'RE GONNA PAY ME!

NO! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

HELLO, DEAR. HONEY.

SORRY I'M LATE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR YOUNG BUSINESSMAN HERE?

I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LIFT

A LOT OF HEAVY BOXES AND CRATES.

GEE, MOM, I CAN HANDLE IT.

BESIDES, NOW I CAN GET US ANYTHING WE WANT WHOLESALE.

VOLLEYBALLS, SWEAT SOCKS, TRACK SHOES...

THAT'S GOOD. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE

A DECENT PAIR OF TRACK SHOES TO MY NAME.

(laughs)

WHAT DO HAVE HERE, AN APPLICATION?

DON'T TAKE THAT.

I WANT TO SERVE SOME TO YOUR FATHER.

BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE TUNA! SHH!

I'LL TELL HIM IT'S CREAMED CHICKEN.

THEY CERTAINLY WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.

YEAH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PUT DOWN HERE.

NAME LAST THREE EMPLOYERS, STATE SALARY RECEIVED.

I HAVEN'T HAD ANY REAL JOBS.

YOU HAD YOUR PAPER ROUTE.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S NO GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR A STORE JOB.

I'D BETTER PUT DOWN I WORKED AT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

THEY HAVE SPORTING GOODS THERE.

STATE SALARY. $20 A WEEK?

I'D BETTER MAKE IT $30. THEY DON'T WANT NO LITTLE OLD CHEAP GUY.

SON, YOU NEVER WORKED AT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT DOWN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE.

WELL, YOU SEE, DAD, WHEN YOU FILL OUT APPLICATIONS,

YOU GOTTA PUT STUFF LIKE THAT DOWN TO MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

OH, DO YOU? YEAH.

SEE, DAD, THAT'S THE WAY YOU GET JOBS.

YOU MAY GET THEM THAT WAY,

BUT YOU CERTAINLY WON'T KEEP THEM THAT WAY.

NOW, YOU ERASE ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

HUH? GO ON, ERASE IT.

BUT, DAD... BUD...

AS LONG AS YOU'RE ENTERING THE BUSINESS WORLD,

YOU MAY AS WELL LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT ITS BASIC RULES.

AND THE FIRST ONE IS HONESTY.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT STUFF.

A DISHONEST MAN MAY MAKE A TEMPORARY KILLING,

BUT IT CATCHES UP WITH HIM SOONER OR LATER.

IN ORDER TO STAY IN BUSINESS,

YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEONE THAT EVERYONE CAN RELY ON.

YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN AND EAT THIS WHILE IT'S HOT.

OKAY. BUD, THE BASIC...

IT'S YOUR FAVORITE DISH... CREAMED CHICKEN.

FINE. BUD, HERE ARE THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER.

WORK HARD, DO YOUR BEST,

LEARN EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN ABOUT YOUR JOB.

AND ABOVE ALL, BE HONEST.

HONEST IS STILL THE BEST POLICY. YOU UNDERSTAND?

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

ERASE ALL THAT PHONY STUFF

AND PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

OKAY.

MARGARET, I NEED A FORK. OH, COMING.

I JUST HOPE THIS DOESN'T HURT MY CHANCES OF GETTING A JOB.

HURT YOUR CHANCES?

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE VERY THING THAT'LL HELP YOU GET IT?

WHAT HAVE I JUST BEEN TELLING YOU?

YEAH, SURE, DAD.

WHERE DOES HE PICK UP IDEAS LIKE THIS?

CERTAINLY NOT FROM ME.

I THINK I KNOW WHERE. I'D BETTER CONFESS.

THAT'S NOT CHICKEN AT ALL. IT'S TUNA.

(chuckles)

"AND SO TWEETY HANDED THE WALRUS HIS MISSING TUSK..."

DAD? "THE WALRUS SAID...

"THANK YOU VERY KINDLY, MA'AM.

"AND HE SWAM AWAY,

ONCE AGAIN A HAPPY, WELL-ADJUSTED WALRUS."

DAD. READ IT AGAIN.

AGAIN? I READ IT THREE TIMES.

WELL, I WASN'T PAYING ANY ATTENTION. OH.

DAD, YOU'VE GOT TO SIGN THIS APPLICATION, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I, UH... I JUST PUT DOWN THE TRUTH, LIKE YOU SAID.

I FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT.

SURE YOU DO. YOU SEE, BUD, IN BUSINESS, AS IN LIFE,

IF YOU STICK TO THE RULES, OVER THE LONG HAUL...

YEAH, I KNOW, DAD. NO MORE LECTURES.

OKAY. SORRY, OLD MAN.

HOW MUCH CHANCE DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE OF GETTING THIS JOB?

I'VE GOT IT... PRACTICALLY.

MR. STAGG... HE'S THE EMPLOYMENT MANAGER...

SAID THAT THIS APPLICATION IS JUST ROUTINE RED TAPE.

HE'S A SWELL GUY. FINE, SON.

WELL, YOUR FIRST JOB. (laughs)

WHAT TIME DO YOU HAVE TO BE THERE?

11:15 A.M. SHARP.

SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WHEN YOU GET THROUGH WITH MR. STAGG,

MEET ME AT SARNO'S... IN THE MEN'S GRILL.

WE'LL HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER, SORT OF A CELEBRATION.

GEE, DAD, DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

SURE, I DO. AS LONG AS YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO HOBNOBBING WITH US.

SO, I'LL SEE YOU AT NOON, OLD MAN.

AND AS FOR YOU... GOOD NIGHT.

GEE, YOU GET TO EAT LUNCH,

AND ALL I GET TO DO IS GO TO SLEEP.

TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU GO TO SLEEP LIKE A GOOD LITTLE GIRL,

AND I'LL BRING YOU HOME SOMETHING FROM MY STORE.

LIKE A... A PUNCHING BAG?

A PUNCHING BAG?

OKAY, A PUNCHING BAG.

WHEW.

HI, BUD.

OH, HI, EDDIE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

TRYING TO GET A JOB. STOCKROOM BOY. YEAH?

YOU OUGHT TO SEE ALL THE JUNK THEY MAKE YOU FILL OUT.

LOOK HERE. I PUT DOWN THREE YEARS' EXPERIENCE

AS A STOCK BOY AND THE HILLSBOROUGH SPORTS SHOP.

BUT YOU NEVER LIVED IN HILLSBOROUGH.

I NEVER WAS A STOCK BOY. BUT SO WHAT?

LOOK HERE. TWO YEARS' EXPERIENCE AS...

HI, MR. STAGG. I'M EDDIE WARDLOW.

GOT HER ALL FILLED OUT.

OKAY, MR. STAGG, THANKS A LOT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, EDDIE.

SEE YOU AROUND, GUY.

MR. STAGG? I'VE GOT IT.

I WAS HERE BEFORE EDDIE, BUT...

OH, YES, YES. THIS IS FINE, BUD.

I'LL, UH... I'LL FILE IT,

AND THE MINUTE SOMETHING COMES UP IN THE FUTURE,

I'LL LET YOU KNOW. IN THE FUTURE?

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE JOB... STOCKROOM BOY?

WELL, BUD, I'M SORRY,

BUT THAT POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED.

BUT YESTERDAY YOU SAID...

WHO... WHO GOT IT? EDDIE WARDLOW?

YES. YOU SEE, EDDIE'S HAD QUITE A BIT OF EXPERIENCE.

STOCKROOM BOY OVER AT THE HILLSBOROUGH STORE.

AND I SEE HERE BY YOUR APPLICATION

THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY.

BUT, UH, I'LL KEEP YOU IN MIND

IF ANYTHING COMES UP, BUD.

GOOD LUCK, BOY.

BUD! BUD!

OVER HERE.

I WAS AFRAID YOU WEREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT.

HOW DID IT GO? GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS.

HIYA, FRANK. FUTURE PRESIDENT OF GORMAN'S.

I WAS TELLING FRANK CONWAY ALL ABOUT YOU THIS MORNING.

WELL, HURRY UP, SON. TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

WHEN DO YOU START? HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE?

WELL, WELL.

IS THIS THE BIG BUSINESSMAN?

THIS IS THE ONE. WHAT DO YOU THINK, GUS?

YOU'RE A JUDGE OF CHARACTER. WILL HE MAKE THE GRADE?

WELL, IF HE'S LIKE HIS POP,

YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

(laughs) YOU HEAR THAT, SON?

WE'D BETTER ORDER. I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, GUS? WE WANT THE VERY BEST TODAY.

Gus: THE POT ROAST IS VERY GOOD.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ELIGIBLE FOR THE BUSINESSMAN'S LUNCH NOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, BUD? THE POT ROAST?

I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY.

TAKE YOUR TIME. I'LL BE BACK.

WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, BUD? SOMETHING GO WRONG?

ALL THAT STUFF YOU TOLD ME...

THE BUSINESS RULES AND HONESTY GOOP...

IT'S ALL A BUNK!

BUD. BUD!

NO, I DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE WITH HIM.

HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

OH, IT SEEMS TOO BAD THAT EDDIE WARDLOW GOT THE JOB

AFTER PUTTING DOWN ALL THOSE LIES.

AND BUD'S PRETTY MAD AT IGNORANT OLD ME

FOR NOT LETTING HIM DO THE SAME SORT OF THING.

I HOPE IT DOESN'T TURN HIM INTO AN UNBELIEVING CYNIC.

THERE'S NO TELLING HOW HE'LL REACT.

IT IS PRETTY ROUGH WHEN YOU BUMP UP

AGAINST THAT FIRST DISILLUSIONMENT,

WHEN YOU SUDDENLY DISCOVER THAT THE ADULT WORLD

IS A FEW SHABBY SEAMS.

Kathy: OW! CUT IT OUT, BUD!

MOMMY! DADDY! HELP!

KATHY, BE CAREFUL!

KATHY, I WISH YOU'D COME DOWNSTAIRS MORE QUIETLY.

GEE, DADDY, BUD'S GONNA MOW ME DOWN.

OH. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I JUST ASKED HIM IF HE BROUGHT ME

MY PUNCHING BAG FROM GORMAN'S,

AND HE THREW A SHOE AT ME!

WELL, HE'S HAD A PRETTY ROUGH DAY.

YOU JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND GO TO BED, AND DON'T BOTHER HIM.

OH, OKAY.

AND DON'T RETALIATE!

I'M NOT. I'M JUST GONNA SLUG HIM.

FATHER... DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT THE SMOOT-HAWLEY TARIFF BILL?

WELL, I...

I'M SUPPOSED TO HAND IN A PAPER ON IT MONDAY,

AND THERE WASN'T ANYTHING IN THE LIBRARY ON IT.

NOW WHAT DO I DO? WELL...

JANIE HAS THE PAPER SHE WROTE ON IT.

SHE SAID I COULD HAND THAT IN, BUT...

THAT SEEMS JUST LIKE CHEATING. WHAT DO YOU THINK, FATHER?

WELL... EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.

I'LL CHANGE IT A LITTLE, BUT STILL...

WHERE ARE YOU GONNA WISE UP, SIS?

WHAT?

TAKE THE PAPER, COPY IT.

GET SMART. LEARN A LITTLE ABOUT LIFE.

OH, POOH. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LIFE?

PLENTY. I'VE BEEN AROUND.

LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, KID.

YES, GRANDPA?

TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET. SEE, KID?

AND IT DON'T MATTER HOW YOU GET IT.

AND DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE PUT ANY OTHER FOOL IDEAS IN YOUR HEAD.

THANK YOU KINDLY. NOW GO TO BED, SONNY,

AND DON'T FALL OUT OF YOUR CRIB.

OKAY, OKAY. GO ALONG WITH HIS BIG HONESTY DEAL,

AND SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU.

BUT JUST DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I WAS AFRAID HE'D REACT THIS WAY.

WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

SEE, KID?

WELL, SOMETHING'S GOT TO BE DONE ABOUT IT.

THAT EDDIE WARDLOW'S A CREEP!

HE'S GOT NO RIGHT TO THAT JOB.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? HE'S IN.

SO WE GOTTA GET HIM OUT.

GET THE BUM OUT OF THERE, RIGHT?

RIGHT. RIGHT.

BUT HOW?

YEAH. WE NEED SOMETHING CLEVER.

OH, WHY DON'T YOU BEAT HIM UP?

WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT DO?

BESIDES, HE'S BIGGER THAN I AM.

YEAH.

GOT TO GET HIM FIRED.

MAYBE... WE WRITE MR. STAGG A LETTER

AND SAY EDDIE'S A CROOK,

AND SIGN IT WITH SOME ANONYMOUS NAME.

HEY, WE CAN MAKE IT BE FROM THE GUY

HE CLAIMED TO WORK FOR IN HILLSBOROUGH.

AND YOU AND I KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH GUY.

COME ON, JOE!

UH... READ ME AGAIN

WHAT YOU'VE GOT DOWN SO FAR.

"DEAR MR. STAGG,

EMPLOYMENT MANAGER... GORMAN'S DEPARTMENT STORE."

THAT'S A DARN GOOD START.

UH, HOW ABOUT THIS?

"EDDIE WARDLOW, YOUR NEW STOCK BOY, IS A CROOK."

NO, JOE. YOU CAN'T COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY THAT,

OR HE COULD SUE US... I THINK.

BUT HE WON'T KNOW WHO WROTE IT.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. BUT YOU GOTTA SAY IT

SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING SOMETHING ELSE.

YEAH. HOW ABOUT THIS?

"EDDIE WARDLOW WORKED FOR ME.

AND HE'S A GOOD BOY... EXCEPT HE'S A CROOK."

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. BUT...

WELL, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A BIG EXECUTIVE WROTE IT.

YEAH.

HEY, MAYBE THIS WILL HELP US.

IT TELLS HOW TO WRITE ALL KINDS OF LETTERS.

YEAH, LET'S SEE THAT.

"LADY CONGRATULATING A YOUNG LADY ON HER MARRIAGE.

DEAR JULIA..."

I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED. I WANT TO GET A GUY FIRED.

OH, HERE'S A BUSINESS LETTER.

"MESSRS. CALLOWS AND CLETRO, BOSTON.

SIRS, PLEASE SEND ME, BY EXPRESS..."

THESE ARE NO GOOD.

HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT ONE? REGISTRY AND COMPLAINT.

YEAH, LET'S SEE THAT.

"APRIL 10, 1901. DEAR MO..."

THESE ARE KIND OF OLD, AREN'T THEY?

SO WHAT? STUFF LIKE THIS DOESN'T CHANGE.

GO ON. WHAT'S IT SAY?

"DEAR MAUDY, IT IS WITH PAIN I WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT..."

"AUGHT"? WHAT DOES "AUGHT" MEAN?

ZERO, NOTHING, BLANK.

THAT'S EDDIE, ALL RIGHT.

"IT IS WITH PAIN I WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT

"THAT CAN SEEM LIKE A STRAIN OF REPROACH,

"BUT I MUST CONFESS I WAS VEXED WITH YOUR FLIRTATIOUS CONDUCT

TOWARDS MR. WATSON LAST NIGHT."

MR. WATSON? GO ON. THIS IS INTERESTING.

YEAH, BUT IT AIN'T HELPING US ANY.

WAIT. THAT FIRST PART, ABOUT THE PAIN.

THAT SOUNDED GOOD. USE THAT.

YEAH, THAT'S WASN'T BAD. READ IT TO ME.

"DEAR MAUDY, IT IS WITH..."

NOT MAUDY, YOU DOPE. STAGG, I MEAN.

Joe: "IT IS WITH PAIN I WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT

THAT CAN SEEM LIKE A STRAIN OF REPROACH."

Bud: NOT SO FAST.

"BUT I CONFESS..." EDDIE WARDLOW'S A CROOK.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

OH. HI, MOM.

WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING. SCHOOLWORK.

YEAH, SCHOOLWORK.

JUST WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING... OLD ENGLISH?

YEAH. SAME OLD ENGLISH.

WHAT DOES EDDIE WARDLOW HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

OH, WELL, HE'S, UH...

WELL, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE A THEME ABOUT A CHUM OF OURS...

DESCRIBE HIM AND ALL, YOU KNOW.

HMM. I'M SURE IT'LL BE QUITE A VIVID DESCRIPTION.

UH, WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED, I'D BE GLAD TO GO OVER IT

AND, UH, CORRECT THE PUNCTUATION.

THINK SHE SUSPECTS ANYTHING?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE'D BETTER HURRY UP

AND GET THAT LETTER OUT TO THE MAILMAN.

Bud: THE COAST IS CLEAR.

GO ON, JOE.

Kathy: MOMMY! (door slams)

LOOK, MOMMY! I GOT A B+!

THAT'S FINE. BUT I CAN'T LOOK AT IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT THE STRANGEST CHARACTER WE EVER MET,

SO I WROTE ABOUT BUD.

OH, YOU SHOULDN'T WRITE THINGS ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD.

I JUST SAID HE WAS KIND OF GOOFY.

YOU KNOW, HE EATS PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICHES, AND...

MOMMY, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

YES, I AM. UM, ANGEL, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,

AND THEN I'LL LISTEN TO THE WHOLE THING.

I WONDER IF WE'VE GOT ANY BANANAS.

THAT MIGHT BE GOOD.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS. ANDERSON. IT'S A NICE DAY.

I RECKON YOU WANT THIS MAILED.

WELL, I, UH... I REALLY...

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH POSTAGE ON HERE.

ONE PENNY SHORT.

HOW LUCKY.

OH, I MEAN, UH... WELL, THANKS.

Jim: MARGARET, I'M HOME!

OH. HI, HONEY.

JIM... I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THIS.

OH, I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF FOR DISTRUSTING BUD,

AND I KNOW IT'S WRONG TO INTERFERE WITH...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

READ THIS. BUD WROTE IT WITH JOE'S HELP.

AND THANK GOODNESS THERE WASN'T ENOUGH POSTAGE ON IT.

"IT'S WITH PAIN I WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT..."

WHERE'D HE GET THIS ARCHAIC LANGUAGE?

FROM A BOOK. READ THE REST OF IT.

"THAT CAN SEEM LIKE A STRAIN OF REPROACH,

"BUT FEEL IT MY DUTY TO... ADVICE YOU"?

(laughs) "...REGARDS A BOY WHOSE NAME I SHAN'T MENTION

BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO HURT HIS MOTHER, MRS. WARDLOW."

(laughs)

OH, GET THIS CLOSING.

"WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING AGAINST HIM,

AND I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP HIM OUT OF JAIL."

(laughs) WELL, IT IS FUNNY.

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT

THAT BUD WOULD RESORT TO A THING LIKE THIS.

HERE'S THE FUNNY PART. THEY ARE GONNA FIRE EDDIE.

WHAT?

EDDIE'S SO IMPOSSIBLE, THEY CAN'T USE HIM.

SO, NOW BUD HAS A CHANCE FOR THE JOB.

WELL, AFTER THIS LETTER, I DON'T THINK HE DESERVES ANOTHER CHANCE.

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO CONFRONT HIM WITH IT

AND EXPLAIN THAT THAT'S NOT THE WAY YOU GO ABOUT...

NO, HE DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE LECTURES FROM ME RIGHT NOW.

KNOW WHAT, THOUGH?

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO LET BUD THINK THIS LETTER WAS MAILED,

LET HIM THINK IT WORKED.

LET HIM FIND OUT ABOUT EDDIE BEING FIRED, AND THEN...

SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

BUT, JIM, IF BUD DOES GET THE JOB,

HE'D BE MORE CONVINCED THAN EVER THAT...

WELL, THAT DISHONESTY IS THE ANSWER.

NO, I DOUBT THAT.

I KNOW AT TIMES IT SEEMS OUR TRAINING

IS GOING ONE HOLE OF HIS HEAD AND OUT ANOTHER,

BUT IT'S RATTLING AROUND IN THERE SOMEPLACE. IT'LL SHOW ITSELF.

HIS CONSCIENCE WON'T LET HIM TAKE THE JOB.

I HOPE.

Joe: HEY, BUD! HOLD IT!

IT WORKED! IT WORKED! WHAT?

THE JOB. I JUST TALKED TO EDDIE. THEY GAVE HIM THE SACK!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!

GEE, IT SURE WORKED FAST. DID HE MENTION THE LETTER?

NO, I DON'T EVEN THINK HE KNEW WHAT HIT HIM! HA HA!

WELL, I GOTTA GO DOWN AND SEE MR. STAGG.

YEAH, BEFORE SOMEBODY ELSE ACES YOU OUT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING...

MY OLD MAN, HE'S LIVED A LONG LIFE

AND WORKED HARD, MEANS WELL.

BUT I'VE LEARNED MORE IN A HALF A WEEK

THAN HE HAS IN 40 YEARS.

YEAH, THEY AREN'T TOO SMART, THAT'S FOR SURE.

YEAH. I BETTER BE GOING.

Betty: BUD!

OH, BUD, WAIT A MINUTE. WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

MOTHER'S NOT HOME, AND I HAVE TO GO DOWN TO THE LIBRARY

AND DO SOME MAKE-UP WORK, 'CAUSE I DIDN'T HAND IN THAT TERM PAPER.

WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME, WOULD YOU?

OH, SHUSH. ANYWAY, WILL YOU TELL MOTHER WHY I'LL BE LATE?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME I'M GONNA BE HOME.

I GOTTA GO DOWN TO GORMAN'S AND PICK UP THAT JOB.

BUT... BUT I THOUGHT...

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER BOY?

OH, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE, JOE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST REALIZED

WHY THERE'S SO FEW REALLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

THERE ARE SO FEW OF US THAT KNOW THE KEY.

I WANT TO TELL YOU A FEW THINGS IN CONFIDENCE.

EDDIE WAS NOT VERY DEPENDABLE.

WE COULDN'T EXACTLY TRUST HIM IN, UH, SMALL WAYS, YOU KNOW.

YES, I KNOW.

I'M NOT IMPLYING THAT HE'D TAKE THINGS,

OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, UNDERSTAND.

BUT, WELL, IN MATTERS OF, UH...

LIKE IN THE LETTER. YES, LIKE IN, UH...

WHAT LETTER?

DIDN'T YOU GET IT YET?

OR... I MEAN...

WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET A LETTER?

NO, NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

I MUST'VE BEEN THINKING OF SOMETHING ELSE.

FOR INSTANCE, EDDIE SAID SOME VERY NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU.

AND I DON'T LIKE THAT, BUD.

OH, THANK YOU, MYRA.

WELL, ANYWAY, WE STARTED TO HAVE OUR DOUBTS

AFTER WE CHECKED ON EDDIE'S APPLICATION

AND FOUND OUT THAT HE'D MADE MOST OF IT UP.

YOU CAN FIGURE THAT IF A BOY IS DECEITFUL IN ONE THING,

HE'S GOING TO BE DECEITFUL IN OTHERS.

NOW, YOU DIDN'T DO THAT.

YOU, UH, PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY I'VE TOLD YOU ALL THIS.

BUT REMEMBER... I DON'T WANT IT TO GO ANY FURTHER THAN THIS.

UH, COULD I JUST SORT OF STICK AROUND

AND CLEAN UP THE OFFICE FOR YOU?

OH, NO, NO. YOU JUST BE HERE MONDAY AFTER SCHOOL,

AND BRING THAT ENTHUSIASM WITH YOU.

GEE, I'M SORRY. I'LL PICK THEM UP FOR YOU.

OH, NO, NO. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

YOU DON'T START WORKING UNTIL MONDAY.

(chuckles)

Mr. Stagg: (echoing) I WANT TO TELL YOU A FEW THINGS IN CONFIDENCE.

EDDIE SAID SOME VERY NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU,

AND I DON'T LIKE THAT, BUD.

YOU PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

Bud: (whispers) DAD? DAD?

DAD, ARE YOU ASLEEP?

HMM? SOMEBODY CALL ME?

IS THAT YOU, BUD?

I GOTTA TALK TO YOU, DAD.

SURE, SON.

SOMETHING WRONG?

YEAH, SORT OF.

I DID A DUMB THING.

I GUESS WE ALL DO AT TIMES.

BUT THIS IS THE WORST.

MR. STAGG'S GONNA GET... A CERTAIN LETTER.

WHEN HE READS IT, HE'LL KNOW WHO WROTE IT,

AND I'LL LOSE MY JOB.

BUT THAT ISN'T THE WORST.

THE WORST IS THAT HE'LL KNOW

WHAT A NO-GOOD NOTHING I AM.

A KNIFER IN THE BACKER, A MENACE TO SOCIETY.

YOU MEAN THIS ONE... MENACE?

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

IT, UH, IT WAS RETURNED. NOT ENOUGH POSTAGE.

OH, MAN.

DAD, DON'T EVER READ THIS.

I'VE READ IT.

YOU HAVE?

PRETTY CHEAP TRICK, HUH?

MM-HMM.

I... I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER...

I SURE AM A STUPID GOOF, AIN'T I?

YEAH.

AND THE DAY YOU REALIZE THAT...

THAT'S THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM.

I'M SURE I HAD CANNED PUMPKIN HERE.

I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING A PUMPKIN PIE FOR TONIGHT.

YOUR FATHER COMPLAINS THAT I NEVER BAKE ANYTHING LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

HI, MOM. HI, SIS. HI, DEAR.

HEY, WHERE'S KATHY? I BROUGHT HER HOME SOMETHING FROM MY STORE.

IN BACK PLAYING, I THINK.

BETTY, SEE IF THERE'S SOME SQUASH IN THE FREEZER.

THAT MIGHT DO. BUT YOUR FATHER SAYS

IT'S NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS PUMPKIN.

OH, GO AHEAD AND USE IT.

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

HEY, DON'T KID YOURSELF.

THERE'S ONE OF THE SMARTEST GUYS THAT EVER HIT THIS EARTH.

WELL, THAT'S FINE COMING FROM YOU.

TWO DAYS AGO, YOU WERE GOING AROUND HERE

SAYING WHAT A STUPID OLD MAN HE WAS.

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT TODAY.

HOW DO YOU EVER SUPPOSE HE LEARNED SO MUCH IN JUST TWO DAYS?

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