All language subtitles for S2 E10 - Father is a Dope

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,881 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:08,751 Announcer: SCOTT PAPER COMPANY TAKES PLEASURE IN PRESENTING... 3 00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,442 ROBERT YOUNG... 4 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,459 AND JANE WYATT. 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,094 (laughter) 6 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:20,619 WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN... 7 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,041 I CAN MAKE $2 MILLION! 8 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,709 JUST THINK OF IT, HAZEL! 9 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,345 A COOL TWO MILLION LITTLE OLD SMACKEROOS! 10 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,047 UH-HUH. 11 00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,282 GREAT SCOTT, WOMAN! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY... 12 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,584 "UH-HUH"... WITH A FORTUNE STARING US IN THE FACE? 13 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,754 I'M SORRY, GEORGE. I WAS THINKING OF THE MILKMAN. 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,524 HE SAID THE BILL IS OVERDUE AGAIN. 15 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,214 GEE! 16 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,195 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 17 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,664 I KNOW YOU THINK FRED IS CONNING ME INTO A GYP DEAL, 18 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,734 BUT I KNOW THERE'S URANIUM THERE! 19 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,070 I PERSONALLY HEARD THIS GEIGER COUNTER CLICK 20 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:03,407 LIKE INTERNATIONAL CONVENTION OF CASTANET PLAYERS. 21 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:07,310 LOOK, WOULD FRED GYP ME... HIS OWN NEIGHBOR? 22 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:11,481 OH, THESE RIDICULOUS TV FAMILY SITUATION SHOWS. 23 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,284 All: SHH! 24 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:16,819 HAZEL, STOP WORRYING! 25 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:19,222 STOP WORRYING, BABY DOLL. WHEN I COME BACK, 26 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,259 WE'LL BE THE OWNERS OF 50 ACRES OF URANIUM LAND! 27 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:25,495 LITTLE GEORGY KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. 28 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,264 HIYA, POP! HIYA, SON. 29 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,998 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, SWEETHEART. 30 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:32,424 I GOTTA GET... (audience laughs) 31 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,543 BUB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT GETUP? 32 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,344 JUST GOING OUT TO SEE IF I CAN GET A JOB 33 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,979 ON THE ROAD GANG. 34 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,014 (laughter) 35 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:49,252 BUB, NO SON OF MINE HAS TO WORK ON A ROAD GANG. 36 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,920 WHAT'S THE IDEA? 37 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,756 O HEARD YOU WERE GOING INTO ANOTHER DEAL WITH FRED. 38 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,892 (laughter) 39 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:59,296 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. 40 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,052 (laughter) 41 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,067 MAMA? 42 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:07,404 DO YOU THINK I COULD GET MUCH MONEY FOR THESE? 43 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:11,641 OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE STILL HERE, PAPA. 44 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:15,112 CINDY HONEY, YOU WON'T HAVE TO SELL ALL YOUR CLOTHES. 45 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:18,348 I'M SURE DADDY WILL BE ABLE TO SUPPORT US... SOMEWAY. 46 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,750 (laughter) 47 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,853 HOW DUMB CAN A GUY BE? 48 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,657 HERE I WAS, READY TO RISK THE SECURITY OF OUR LITTLE ONES, 49 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,059 ROB THEM OF THEIR PEACE OF MIND, 50 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:33,597 JUST FOR A FOOL'S QUEST FOR EASY RICHES. 51 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:37,200 AND TO THINK THAT IT TOOK THEM TO OPEN UP MY EYES. 52 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:39,636 (laughs) THEY'RE PRICELESS. 53 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,071 AND WE'RE GOOD ACTORS, TOO, AREN'T WE, MAMA? 54 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,607 ESPECIALLY ME! 55 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:46,109 I THOUGHT BUB HAMMED HIS PART UP TOO MUCH. 56 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:49,179 (laughter) 57 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,448 (both laugh) 58 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,650 DOLL BABY! (laughs) 59 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,019 YOU'RE THE MOST OF THE MOSTEST! 60 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,988 (laughing) 61 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,823 (applause) 62 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,826 IT'S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO SIT AROUND SUFFERING FROM A COLD, 63 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,263 I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THAT BUNK, TOO. 64 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,631 I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD. 65 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,132 (laughs) POOR OLD GEORGE. 66 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,668 HOW COME MOTHERS ARE SO MUCH SMARTER THAN FATHERS? 67 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,736 ONLY ON TELEVISION ARE THEY. 68 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,405 THEY'VE GOT POOR OLD GEORGE SO DUMB 69 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,973 HE COULD POUR CIDER OUT OF A BOOT 70 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,008 IF THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE PRINTED ON THE HEEL. 71 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,578 HE'S SO STUPID, HIS BRILLIANT WIFE DOESN'T DARE TELL HIM 72 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,280 HE'S PULLING ANOTHER CALAMITOUS BONER. 73 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,649 NO. SHE HAS TO TRICK HIM, 74 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,584 USE THE CHILDREN AS TOOLS. 75 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,253 HEH. EVERYBODY'S SMARTER THAN THE OLD MAN. 76 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,888 THEY OUGHT TO CHANGE THE TITLE OF THAT SHOW 77 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,724 FROM FATHER DOES IT AGAIN TO FATHER IS A DOPE. 78 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,694 I'M GONNA TAKE MY MEDICINE AND GO TO BED. 79 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:41,198 THAT IS, IF I HAVE ENOUGH BRAINS TO FIND THE STAIRS. 80 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,032 THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE. 81 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,156 I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. 82 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,156 Man: QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! 83 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,426 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! 84 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:14,197 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! 85 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,734 QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK! 86 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:21,003 HI, JIM! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY FANCY DECOY? 87 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,172 HEY, THAT LOOKS GOOD. 88 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,674 WHAT'D YOU DO, GET SOME NEW ONES? 89 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,175 NO, JUST PAINTED IT. 90 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,877 AND YOU AND I ARE GONNA PAINT ALL THE REST OF THEM 91 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,379 BECAUSE WE'RE GOING HUNTING TOMORROW. 92 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,647 WE ARE? 93 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:31,947 OH, HI, HONEY. 94 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,349 DID I HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT HUNTING? 95 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,251 OH, ED WAS SORT OF KICKING THE IDEA AROUND. 96 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,320 BUT HE HATES TO GO ALONE, SO... 97 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,289 SO I WONDERED IF I MIGHT GO ALONG, TOO... 98 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,090 YOU KNOW, JUST TO SORT OF KEEP HIM COMPANY. 99 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,592 WELL, DON'T ACT SO GUILTY ABOUT IT. 100 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,727 I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA. YOU DO? 101 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,562 CERTAINLY. 102 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,230 THAT IS, IF YOU FEEL WELL ENOUGH. 103 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,433 YOU WERE IN BED SEVERAL DAYS WITH THAT COLD. 104 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,568 OH, I FEEL FINE NOW. 105 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,870 WON'T YOU BE SLEEPING ON THE DAMP GROUND IN A TENT 106 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:57,239 AND SQUATTING IN A WET DUCK BLIND? 107 00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,809 WELL, I FEEL OKAY. BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO, I'LL GIVE IT UP. 108 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,644 OH, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL. 109 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,480 IF YOU FEEL UP TO IT, I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA. 110 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,482 YOU DON'T GET TO GO HUNTING VERY OFTEN, 111 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,818 SO... WHY DON'T YOU PLAN ON IT? YEAH. 112 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,386 TELL MYRTLE TO CALL ME. 113 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,788 MAYBE SHE AND I CAN DO SOMETHING 114 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,122 WHILE YOU TWO HUNTERS ARE AWAY. 115 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,446 OKAY, I WILL. 116 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,927 SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO GO. 117 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,729 WHAT? SHE JUST TOLD YOU TO PLAN ON IT. 118 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,298 IT'S AS PLAIN AS DAY. SHE THINKS I'M NOT WELL ENOUGH TO GO, 119 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,834 BUT NATURALLY I'M TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THAT. 120 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,602 SO, SHE HAS TO PLAN THE INDIRECT APPROACH, 121 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,705 TRICK ME INTO NOT GOING. 122 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,640 DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY PICK UP THESE IDEAS? 123 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,975 ON THAT TV BOX. 124 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,678 YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW? 125 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,648 MARGARET AND THE KIDS ARE HOLDING A MEETING ON STRATEGY, 126 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,983 PLANNING THE WHOLE INSIDIOUS CAMPAIGN. 127 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,286 OPERATION KEEP PAPA HOME. 128 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,188 WELL, JIM, IF YOU THINK YOU SHOULDN'T GO... 129 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,123 LOOK, ED, YOU GET A PAINTBRUSH READY FOR ME. 130 00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:49,826 I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CHANGE MY CLOTHES. 131 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,462 YOU AND I ARE LEAVING AT DAYBREAK TOMORROW, SEE? 132 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,252 (laughs) 133 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,635 (humming) 134 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:02,304 OH, FATHER, YOU'RE JUST THE ONE I WANT TO SEE. 135 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,740 WHY, WHAT'S UP, PRINCESS? 136 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,242 JANIE, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO FATHER. SEE YOU LATER. 137 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,644 I'M GOING TO GET A JOB! 138 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,981 YES, AND I KNOW WHERE... ON A ROAD GANG. 139 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,816 A ROAD GANG? NO, FATHER. 140 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,317 IT'S A SORT OF SECRETARIAL JOB 141 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:16,919 AT A BIG TIRE RECAPPING FIRM. 142 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,554 THAT'S EVEN BETTER. (laughs) 143 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,290 IT'S NOT FUNNY, IT'S SERIOUS. 144 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,892 I HAVE TO GO FOR AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW, 145 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,795 AND I'M SCARED TO DEATH. I SURE WISH THAT... 146 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,229 THAT I'D GO WITH YOU? 147 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:28,998 WOULD YOU? HMM. 148 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,568 ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT YOU, WHO'S ALWAYS BEEN SO INDEPENDENT, 149 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,238 SO AFRAID I'M GONNA INTERFERE WITH YOUR PLANS, 150 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:40,042 SHOULD SUDDENLY BECOME A DEPENDANT, SHY, LITTLE VIOLET? 151 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,177 FATHER, THEY SAY THIS MANAGER'S VERY MEAN, 152 00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,613 AND FURTHERMORE, I... 153 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,381 FURTHERMORE, THIS WOULD KEEP OLD DAD 154 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,982 FROM GOING HUNTING TOMORROW. 155 00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:48,918 OH, ARE YOU GOING HUNTING? 156 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,953 YES, I AM. 157 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,389 OH, I'M SORRY, FATHER. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 158 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,379 I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOUR TRIP. 159 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,049 I'LL MANAGE SOMEHOW. 160 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,063 DIDN'T KNOW. 161 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,620 (laughs) 162 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,068 I HEAR DAD COMING. SHOULD I ASK HIM? 163 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,370 NO. I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HIM. 164 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,640 JUST GET ON THE PHONE AND SAY WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY. 165 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,374 OH, ALL RIGHT. 166 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,911 HI, DADDY. HELLO, KITTEN. 167 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,746 MARGARET, HAVE YOU SEEN MY DUCK CALL? 168 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,280 YOUR WHAT? 169 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:20,416 DUCK CALL. IT'S LIKE A MOOSE CALL, ONLY FOR DUCKS. 170 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,751 ABOUT THIS LONG... HELLO, JANET? 171 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,052 THIS IS KATHY. 172 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,087 AND I CAN'T COME TO YOUR PARTY TOMORROW. 173 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,789 MY DAD IS GOING HUNTING, 174 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:30,259 SO I WON'T HAVE ANY WAY TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE. 175 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,562 YEAH, ME, TOO, JANET. 176 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,764 BUT THAT'S THE WAY THE BALL BOUNCES. 177 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,387 BYE. 178 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,902 NOW, ISN'T THAT A SHAME? 179 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,204 YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THAT FINE PARTY. 180 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:45,240 IT'S ALL RIGHT, DADDY. I DIDN'T MUCH WANT TO GO ANYWAY. 181 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:48,711 BESIDES, I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO STAY HOME FROM YOUR HUNTING TRIP. 182 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,112 OH, CERTAINLY NOT. 183 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,614 OF COURSE, YOUR MOTHER'S CERTAINLY CAPABLE 184 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,849 OF DRIVING YOU OVER TO THEIR PLACE. 185 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,672 OH, NO, I'M NOT. 186 00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:00,523 WELL, I, UH... FIGURED THERE'D BE A REASON. 187 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,324 YOU AND ED ARE TAKING OUR CAR. 188 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,860 NO, WE'RE GOING IN ED'S. 189 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,160 THAT'S ALL BEEN CHANGED. 190 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:06,863 I JUST TALKED TO MYRTLE, AND SHE NEEDS THEIRS 191 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,198 TO DRIVE OVER TO HILLSBOROUGH TO SEE HER SISTER-IN-LAW, 192 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,567 WHO FELL OFF A BEER TRUCK AND BROKE HER COLLARBONE. 193 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,669 HER HUSBAND WORKS FOR A BREWERY, 194 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,905 AND HE WAS SHOWING HER A NEW TRUCK THEY JUST BOUGHT. 195 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:19,208 OH, IT'S AN ACCIDENT THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. 196 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,344 OH, HONEY, DOESN'T IT STRIKE YOU AS BEING STRANGE 197 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,046 THAT THIS PARTY CAME UP SO SUDDENLY? 198 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,715 WELL, THAT'S JANET'S MOTHER FOR YOU. 199 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,817 EVERYTHING'S A LAST-MINUTE AFFAIR. 200 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,686 ACTUALLY, I'M JUST AS GLAD KATHY'S NOT GOING. 201 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,555 OH, SURE. 202 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,146 WELL, I'LL BE NEXT DOOR. 203 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,661 HI, DAD. I HEAR YOU'RE GOING HUNTING. 204 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,497 WHY, YES. GEE, THAT'S SWELL. 205 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,633 OH! OOH! AAH! 206 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,135 OH, NO, THIS IS TOO MUCH. 207 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,469 BUD, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 208 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,739 GOSH, I DON'T KNOW. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, 209 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,307 I GET A STABBING PAIN RIGHT ABOUT HERE. 210 00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:55,745 OR MAYBE IT'S BACK... OH! UHH! THERE IT GOES AGAIN! 211 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,714 THIS SOUNDS PRETTY, UH, SERIOUS. 212 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,516 OH, BOY, IT IS. 213 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,552 I CAN'T EVEN RAISE MY ARM THAT HIGH. 214 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,020 YOU CAN'T, HUH? 215 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,923 WELL... I DON'T DARE RAISE IT ANY HIGHER THAN THAT. 216 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,390 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU RAISE IT THIS HIGH? 217 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:11,082 OW! JIM! 218 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,163 BUD, IS IT REALLY THAT BAD? 219 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,231 WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO FOR HIM? 220 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,900 I THINK WE SHOULD AWARD HIM AN OSCAR 221 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,603 FOR AN ACADEMY-AWARD- WINNING PERFORMANCE. 222 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,107 I'LL BE NEXT DOOR PAINTING DUCKS. 223 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,747 (laughs) 224 00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:35,918 I TELL YOU, ED, YOU'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH ACTING. 225 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,353 ODDLY ENOUGH, KATHY WAS THE MOST CONVINCING. 226 00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:40,556 AND OLD BUD... HEH! 227 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,025 OLD BUD HAMMED IT UP BUT GOOD. 228 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:47,096 SOUNDED LIKE A REHEARSAL FOR THAT TELEVISION SHOW... FATHER DOES IT AGAIN. 229 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,131 FATHER IS A DOPE, I CALL IT. 230 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:53,235 OH, YEAH. THAT'S PRETTY TRUE-LIFE STUFF ON THAT SHOW. 231 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,438 YEAH, ABOUT AS TRUE-LIFE AS A THREE-DOLLAR BILL. 232 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,041 THE THING I RESENT IS THEY THINK THEY HAVE TO TRICK ME 233 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,610 INTO NOT GOING. 234 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,444 WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO DEVIOUS? 235 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:06,281 ALWAYS HAVE TO GO CLEAR AROUND CASEY'S BARN. TELL ME THAT. 236 00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,518 WELL, NOW... MYRTLE USES A LITTLE DIFFERENT APPROACH. 237 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,488 SHE'D SAY, "ED, GET BACK IN THE HOUSE, YOU BIG OAF. 238 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,490 YOU AIN'T GOIN' ANYPLACE." 239 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,226 (laughs) WELL, BOY, YOU'RE LUCKY. 240 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,628 HEH HEH. 241 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,896 WHAT'S THE PROPER TECHNIQUE ON THIS STUFF? 242 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,666 THE PROPER TECHNIQUE IS TO FILL ALL THE PELLET HOLES 243 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,234 WITH PLASTIC WOOD. 244 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,770 THEN YOU SAND IT DOWN AND GIVE IT A COAT OF LINSEED OIL. 245 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,172 THEN YOU PAINT THE COLORS ON WITH DULL, FLAT PAINT, 246 00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,141 SO THERE WON'T BE ANY REFLECTIONS. 247 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,408 YOU DO ALL THAT? 248 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,177 NO, I JUST SLAP SOME PAINT ON IT. 249 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,612 (laughs) 250 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,313 WELL, THAT'S MY TECHNIQUE, TOO. 251 00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:40,816 BUT THEY COME OUT PRETTY GOOD, I THINK. 252 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,518 THAT KID THERE LOOKS SO LIFELIKE, 253 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,987 I KEEP EXPECTING HIM TO START SQUAWKING AND FLY AWAY. 254 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,588 (laughs) YEAH. 255 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:49,080 (duck call) 256 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,072 IS THIS THE DUCK CALL YOU WERE LOOKING FOR, DADDY? 257 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,840 YES, THAT'S IT. WHERE'D YOU FIND IT, HONEY? 258 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,043 MOMMY FOUND IT. SHE WANTED ME TO GIVE IT TO YOU. 259 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,279 I SEE. AND, UH, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SAY? 260 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,648 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING. 261 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,817 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY "THANK YOU." 262 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,653 HUH? OH, YES. HA HA! THANK YOU. 263 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,655 GUESS YOU GOT KIND OF MIXED UP, HUH, DADDY? 264 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,090 YEAH, KIND OF. 265 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,925 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MAKING TOYS? 266 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:25,861 NO, THESE ARE DECOYS... DEVICES OF DECEPTION. 267 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:29,205 A SUBJECT YOUR MOTHER COULD EXPLAIN TO YOU VERY NICELY. 268 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,100 THEY'RE WHAT? 269 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,135 THEY'RE IMITATION DUCKS, KATHY. 270 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,938 CAN'T YOU GET REAL ONES ANYMORE? 271 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,673 WE USE THESE TO GET THE REAL ONES. 272 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,975 YOU SEE, WE FLOAT THESE IN A POND, 273 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,845 THEN WE HIDE IN A BLIND UNTIL SOME DUCKS FLY OVER. 274 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,880 THEY LOOK DOWN AND THINK THESE ARE REAL, 275 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,016 SO THEY DROP DOWN FOR A VISIT, 276 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,185 AND WHAM! WE'VE GOT 'EM! 277 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,475 SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY SNEAKY TRICK. 278 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,625 NO WORSE THAN SOME OTHER TRICKS BEING PULLED AROUND HERE. 279 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,060 KATHY? 280 00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,695 WHERE YOU GOING, HONEY? 281 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,530 I THOUGHT I'D BETTER PICK UP SOME GROCERIES NOW, 282 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,099 WHILE THE CAR'S STILL HERE. 283 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,601 YOU'LL BE LEAVING BEFORE THE STORES OPEN IN THE MORNING. 284 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,870 YOU'RE STILL PLANNING NO GOING, AREN'T YOU? 285 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,107 PLANNING? OH, IT'S MUCH BEYOND THE PLANNING STAGE NOW. 286 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,110 THERE IS NO KNOWN FORCE NOR PLOT 287 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,510 THAT CAN STOP ME NOW. 288 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:16,979 WELL, GOOD. 289 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,948 I WAS AFRAID YOU'D FEEL YOU SHOULD STAY HOME 290 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,550 BECAUSE OF THE WAY BUD'S FEELING AND EVERYTHING. 291 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,486 NO, I'M RISING ABOVE ALL THAT VERY NICELY. 292 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:27,156 WELL, I'M GLAD. COME ON, KATHY. BETTER COME WITH ME. 293 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,958 WE'LL PICK UP A GIFT FOR JANET, 294 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,426 JUST IN CASE WE FIGURE OUT A WAY FOR YOU TO GO THAT PARTY... 295 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,117 WHICH I DOUBT. 296 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,632 "WHICH I DOUBT." 297 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,667 SUCH FRAUDS. 298 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,770 I KNOW GOOD AND WELL SHE HAS ENOUGH GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE 299 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,304 TO LAST FOR A WEEK. 300 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,673 SHE'S JUST DOING THIS TO MAKE IT SOUND MORE DIFFICULT. 301 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,376 JIM, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO ON THIS TRIP? 302 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,379 NOW, WAIT, ED. DON'T YOU START FALLING FOR THEIR LITTLE SCHEMES. 303 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,581 I'M THE ONE THEY'RE WORKING ON, NOT YOU. 304 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,017 AND I THINK I'VE MADE IT PRETTY PLAIN TO HER SO FAR 305 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,775 THAT HER LITTLE SCHEMES AREN'T WORKING AT ALL. 306 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,857 I JUST WONDER WHAT SHE'LL TRY NEXT 307 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,292 TO KEEP ME FROM GOING. 308 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,149 (crash) 309 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:18,073 ED, SHE'S GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME. 310 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,675 YOU AND I ARE LEAVING IN THE MORNING 311 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:24,035 IF WE HAVE TO CRAWL EVERY STEP OF THE WAY ON BROKEN GLASS. 312 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,853 OHH, GOSH. 313 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,988 HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE THEM TO STRAIGHTEN OUT A FENDER? 314 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,524 HEY, JIM GOT THE CAR DOWN THERE RIGHT AT 8:00 THIS MORNING, DIDN'T HE? 315 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,993 OH, I'M SURE HE WAS THERE BEFORE THEY EVEN OPENED. 316 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,863 MAYBE I DID MORE DAMAGE TO THE CAR THAN WE THOUGHT. 317 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,065 OH, I'M SORRY TO SPOIL YOUR PLANS. 318 00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,367 I KNOW YOU WANTED TO GET STARTED BY DAYBREAK. 319 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,737 WELL, GOING LATE IS BETTER THAN CRAWLING OVER BROKEN GLASS. 320 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,005 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 321 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,808 OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. 322 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,678 I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW I RAN INTO THAT FENCE LAST NIGHT. 323 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:59,448 ACTUALLY, I'M A VERY CAREFUL DRIVER. 324 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,683 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT JIM SAID. 325 00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,585 HE THOUGHT IT WAS ODD THAT SUCH A THING WOULD HAPPEN 326 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,754 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS WITH NO ACCIDENTS... 327 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,857 AND AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME, TOO. 328 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,359 (chuckles) IT ALMOST LOOKS AS THOUGH I DID IT DELIBERATELY 329 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,961 TO KEEP JIM FROM GOING. 330 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,096 AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING? JIM SORT OF ACTS 331 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,598 AS IF THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. 332 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,869 WELL, MY GOODNESS! I WOULDN'T DO A THING LIKE THAT. 333 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,270 NO, OF COURSE NOT. 334 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,704 IF I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO DO IT, 335 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,473 I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T RESORT TO A TRICK LIKE THAT. 336 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,542 WHAT TRICK WOULD YOU RES... I MEAN, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 337 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,411 WHAT I WOULD DO WOULD BE... 338 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,613 (car pulling up) OH, HE FINALLY MADE IT! 339 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,814 YOU'D BETTER GET OUT THERE. 340 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,471 WE'VE GOT TO HIT THE ROAD. 341 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,189 YOU GOT IT FIXED OKAY, BOY? 342 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,924 THEY FIXED IT UP SO I CAN DRIVE IT, 343 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,158 BUT I'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK MONDAY. 344 00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:44,459 WE'D BETTER GET PACKED. 345 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,928 MY GEAR'S IN THE DRIVEWAY, ALL READY. 346 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:49,131 Bud: HEY, MOM. BRING ME SOME MORE MEDICINE. 347 00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,967 HEH. RIGHT ON CUE, THE MINUTE I WALK THROUGH THE DOOR. 348 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,426 Bud: MOM! YES, BUD, I'M COMING. 349 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,108 BETTER BE ON YOUR GUARD. 350 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,943 NOW THAT THE SMASHED FENDER SCHEME FAILED, 351 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,544 I THINK MARGARET HAS SOME OTHER TRICK. 352 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,780 ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES, AND I COULD'VE PRIED IT OUT OF HER. 353 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,515 DON'T WORRY. WHATEVER IT IS, I CAN HANDLE IT. 354 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,350 YOU'D BETTER GO OUT AND START LOADING. OKAY. 355 00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:09,919 AND GET YOUR STUFF AS QUICK AS YOU CAN. 356 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,954 AND DON'T GIVE THEM TOO MUCH OPPORTUNITY TO WORK ON YOU. 357 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,611 DON'T WORRY. OLD JIM KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. 358 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,298 OH! UHH! 359 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,267 NOW, COME ON, BUD. NOTHING CAN BE THAT BAD. 360 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,502 OOH, THAT JUNK IS. OHH! 361 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,704 I THINK I'D BETTER CALL DR. CONRAD. 362 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,340 NO, MOM! NOT YET. I... 363 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,943 WELL, MAYBE I'LL GET BETTER BY THIS AFTERNOON. 364 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,812 I'LL SUFFER THROUGH IT. (coughs) 365 00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,713 WELL, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE COUGHING. 366 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:42,017 OH, I DON'T KNOW. I THINK HE'S DOING REMARKABLY WELL AT IT. 367 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:45,187 BY THE WAY, BUD, HOW CAN YOU STAND SO MUCH SUFFERING? 368 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,621 IT ISN'T EASY. 369 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,557 YOU'RE DOING VERY NICELY, THOUGH. 370 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,125 BY THE WAY, WHERE DID THAT COUGH COME FROM? 371 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,194 I THOUGHT YOUR TROUBLE WAS PAINS IN THE CHEST. 372 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,463 WELL, THAT SORT OF COMES AND GOES. 373 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,231 OH, SURE. 374 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,000 JIM, I'M GONNA CALL THE DOCTOR. 375 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,135 NO, MOM! 376 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,605 UH, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA... SURE CURE. 377 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,674 BUD, WHY DON'T YOU GET UP AND GO HUNTING WITH US? 378 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,010 JIM! GOSH, MOM! DO YOU THINK I COULD? 379 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,312 CERTAINLY NOT. YOU'RE SICK. 380 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,582 BUT, MOM, I... OH! OH, THERE IT GOES AGAIN. 381 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,584 NOW, DEAR, THAT WASN'T FAIR. 382 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,886 OH, THAT WASN'T FAIR? OF COURSE NOT. 383 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,622 WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU, TEASING HIM LIKE THAT? 384 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,693 WHAT KIND? JUST THE REGULATION SIMPLE-MINDED STUMBLEBUM FATHER 385 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,583 YOU SEE ON YOUR TV SET. 386 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:36,994 HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? I'M THE GIRL WHO... NO. 387 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,747 HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? MY NAME IS BETTY ANDERSON, 388 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,916 AND I'VE HAD TWO SEMESTERS OF TYPING AND SHORTHAND 389 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,851 AND ONE SEMESTER OF BOOKKEEPING. 390 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:53,922 DICTATION? OH, YES, I'M VERY FAST AT TAKING DICTATION. 391 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:57,626 WELL, THAT IS, I'M PRETTY FAST. 392 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:01,063 WELL, I'M AVERAGE YOU MIGHT SAY. 393 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:04,266 (sighs) OH, I CAN'T HARDLY TAKE IT AT ALL. 394 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,335 VERY GOOD! 395 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,170 I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT'VE BROKEN DOWN A LITTLE MORE 396 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,638 WHEN YOU HEARD ME COMING DOWN THE HALL, 397 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,106 BUT OUTSIDE OF THAT, IT WAS VERY GOOD. 398 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,508 FATHER, THIS ISN'T FUNNY. 399 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,243 I'M SCARED TO DEATH TO GO DOWN FOR THIS INTERVIEW. 400 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,145 THEY SAY THIS MAN'S A REAL OGRE. 401 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,347 BY THE WAY, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS OGRE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET? 402 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,681 YOU NEVER DID TELL ME. 403 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,517 IT'S AN AWFULLY ODD NAME. 404 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,685 WELL, I'M SURE OF THAT, BUT WHAT IS IT? 405 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,020 IT DOESN'T SOUND BELIEVABLE. 406 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,588 WELL, YOU KNOW US FATHERS... 407 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,990 WE'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING. WHAT'S HIS NAME? 408 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:30,459 MR. KEEDLECOT. 409 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,694 (laughs) 410 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,663 I COULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT UP A BETTER ONE MYSELF! 411 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,032 I DIDN'T THINK IT UP! THAT'S HIS REAL NAME! 412 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,101 OH, OF COURSE. I KNOW HIM VERY WELL. 413 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,835 CASPER KETTLEDRUM KEEDLECOT. 414 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:43,738 OH, STOP IT, FATHER. YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO FOOL YOU OR SOMETHING? 415 00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:45,307 HEAVENS, NO. 416 00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,709 DOES OLD GEORGE... LOVABLE MEATHEAD OF TV... 417 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,811 EVER SUSPECT HIS CHILDREN ARE FOOLING HIM? 418 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,646 OF COURSE NOT. 419 00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,215 WE FATHERS ARE PRETTY DUMB, 420 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,816 BUT WE'RE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW 421 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,219 THAT YOU'RE UNDERMINING US ONLY FOR OUR OWN GOOD. 422 00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,043 SAY HELLO TO MR. KODDLEKIT FOR ME. 423 00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,113 HURRY UP, JIM. WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 424 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,814 ED, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THERE. 425 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,417 THE KIDS' PERFORMANCES WERE EVEN BETTER THAN THEY WERE YESTERDAY. 426 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,385 DID MARGARET SPRING HER NEW FLANK ATTACK ON YOU? 427 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,387 NO, I THINK SHE'S SAVING THAT AS AN ACE IN THE HOLE 428 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,123 IN CASE EVERYTHING ELSE FAILS... 429 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,824 WHICH IT WILL, I GUARANTEE YOU. 430 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,426 WELL, THERE'S NOTHING TO STOP US NOW, I DON'T THINK. 431 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,161 WE GOT EVERYTHING. I DOUBLE-CHECKED THE GEAR. 432 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,163 YOU GOT GAS, DIDN'T YOU? YES, OIL, THE WORKS. 433 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,627 WELL, COME ON, BOY. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 434 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,956 WE'RE HOURS LATE NOW. 435 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,061 (engine won't start) 436 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,345 Kathy: DADDY! 437 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,180 UH-OH. HERE IT COMES. THE FLANK ATTACK. 438 00:18:58,204 --> 00:18:59,748 THE ACE IN THE HOLE. THE SHOCK TROOPS. 439 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,450 DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION. PRETEND YOU DON'T HEAR HER. 440 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,452 (engine starts) 441 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,355 WAIT A MINUTE, DADDY! THIS IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT! 442 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,023 CAN'T HEAR YOU, KITTEN. SEE YOU LATER! GOOD-BYE! 443 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,558 BYE, KATHY! STEP ON IT, BOY. 444 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,059 BUT, DADDY! 445 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,694 (engine stalls) 446 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,764 DON'T YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS WITH YOU? NO, NO! 447 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,432 IT'S YOUR HUNTING LICENSE. 448 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,802 HUH? OH, YES. THANK YOU, KITTEN. 449 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,104 I WANT TO KISS YOU GOOD-BYE, DADDY. 450 00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:24,673 DON'T DO IT. IT'S A TRAP. 451 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,176 I WANT TO KISS YOU, DADDY. 452 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,132 NO, JIM, NO. 453 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:34,015 BYE, DADDY. HAVE A NICE TIME. 454 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:36,785 OH, BOY, THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL. LET'S GET GOING. 455 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,887 HEY, GET THE CAR STARTED! 456 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,489 I WAS JUST THINKING... HAVE YOU NOTICED 457 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,191 HOW SUBTLE THEIR CAMPAIGN IS? 458 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,092 IT'S SO SUBTLE, I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND IT. 459 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,927 NOT ONCE... NOT ONCE, MIND YOU... 460 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,396 HAS ONE OF THEM SAID, "DON'T GO." 461 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,431 WELL, THEN GO! NOBODY'S STOPPING YOU! 462 00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:50,765 THAT'S THE TROUBLE RIGHT THERE. 463 00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,401 MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE BANKING ON. 464 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,536 I FEEL JUST LIKE A PRISONER WHO SUDDENLY DISCOVERS 465 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,271 THE PRISON GATES OPEN AND NO GUARDS AROUND, 466 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:57,673 BUT HE'S AFRAID TO WALK OUT 467 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,675 BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S WALKING INTO A TRAP. 468 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,243 OH, JIM, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY. 469 00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,345 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE PRISON GATES CLOSE! 470 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,646 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 471 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,348 AND DON'T STOP FOR ANYTHING, NO MATTER WHAT! 472 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,749 KEEP GOING! 473 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:08,773 (starts engine) 474 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,400 I'M SORRY, DR. CONRAD. IT'S MY FAULT. 475 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,068 I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. 476 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,605 WELL, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU WERE COMING OUT, 477 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,640 OR I WOULDN'T HAVE PARKED IN THE DRIVEWAY. 478 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,342 NOT MUCH DAMAGE DONE, THOUGH. 479 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,676 OUR BUMPERS ARE LOCKED. 480 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,412 I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT. IT'S UNCANNY. 481 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,415 HOW COULD THAT WOMAN HAVE TIMED THIS SO PERFECTLY? 482 00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,016 WHAT DID YOU SAY, JIM? 483 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,818 HMM? OH, NOTHING. 484 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,121 OKAY, DOC, YOU GO ON IN AND LOOK AT BUD. I'LL BE RIGHT IN. 485 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:49,280 I WOULDN'T MISS THIS EXAMINATION FOR ANYTHING. 486 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:56,030 YEAH... ALL RIGHT, JIM. 487 00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:57,566 I HAVE TO GO INTO THE HOUSE FOR A MINUTE. 488 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,134 DO YOU HAVE TO? 489 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,102 MARGARET OVERPLAYED HER HAND WHEN SHE CALLED DR. CONRAD. 490 00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,739 IN HER DESPERATION, SHE FORGOT THAT HE'S A MAN OF ETHICS. 491 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,742 HE'S NOT GONNA PLAY A PART IN THIS LITTLE TV DRAMA? 492 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,744 I KNEW WE'D NEVER GO HUNTING. 493 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,279 YES, WE WILL. 494 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,447 SEE IF YOU CAN GET THESE CARS UNLOCKED. I WON'T BE LONG. 495 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:13,615 OKAY. 496 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,950 FEEL ANY SORENESS HERE? MM-MM. 497 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,386 HERE? MM-MM. 498 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,754 HOW ABOUT HERE? MM! MM! 499 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,921 AHA. 500 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,356 TRY THIS, DOCTOR. 501 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:22,624 (muffled scream) 502 00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:24,259 CAREFUL! THANK YOU, KATHY. 503 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,661 YOU LITTLE... BUD! 504 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,263 WELL, DOC, HAVE YOU COME TO ANY, UH... 505 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,098 INTERESTING CONCLUSIONS? 506 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,866 YES, I HAVE, JIM. 507 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,436 THIS BOY OUGHT TO BE TAKEN UPSTAIRS AND PUT TO BED. 508 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,038 HUH? OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. SURELY... 509 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:38,807 HIS FEVER IS NOT TOO HIGH, 510 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,042 BUT HE SHOULD BE PUT TO BED. 511 00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,011 THE COLD HAS SETTLED IN HIS CHEST 512 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,480 AND HE HAS A SLIGHT TOUCH OF FLU. 513 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,471 YOU MEAN HE REALLY... 514 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:51,019 BETTER GET THIS FILLED RIGHT AWAY, JIM. 515 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,954 YEAH, RIGHT AWAY. 516 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,957 MAYBE WE'D BETTER GET A PRESCRIPTION FOR YOU, TOO. 517 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:59,428 HMM? WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT JUST A MINUTE, DOC. I FEEL FINE. 518 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,797 I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU, JIM. 519 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,199 YOU'RE VERY TENSE AND NERVOUS. 520 00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:05,567 NOT LIKE YOURSELF AT ALL. 521 00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,235 I'M OKAY, I FEEL FINE. 522 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,970 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SUGGEST? 523 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,440 LOOK, I'M NOT GOING TO BED. IT'S BUD WE'RE CONCERNED ABOUT. 524 00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:14,443 WELL, I'D SUGGEST THAT YOU GET AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS 525 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,978 AND GO HUNTING OR SOMETHING. 526 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,714 HUH? 527 00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,649 UH, LOOK AFTER THE BOY. 528 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,484 IF HE ISN'T BETTER TOMORROW, CALL ME. 529 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:23,752 I CERTAINLY WILL, DOCTOR. 530 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,119 SO LONG, BUD. 531 00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:26,688 BETTER TAKE MY ADVICE, JIM, 532 00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:28,790 OR WE'LL HAVE YOU IN BED WITH BUD. 533 00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:30,647 OKAY, DOC. 534 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:35,285 JUST CALL ME GEORGE. 535 00:22:36,722 --> 00:22:38,299 HEY, JIM. JIM. 536 00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,569 EXCUSE ME FOR BUTTING IN, BUT... 537 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:42,203 Jim: HEY, DID YOU GET THE DOC'S CAR UNHOOKED? 538 00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:44,539 YEAH, IT'S OKAY. BUT LISTEN, JIM. 539 00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,208 IF WE DON'T HURRY, I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA GET TRAPPED. 540 00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:49,177 MYRTLE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME THING SHE'S SPRAINED HER ANKLE 541 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,479 AND CAN'T DRIVE. 542 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:51,880 SO SHE WANTS ME TO DRIVE HER TO HILLSBOROUGH. 543 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,114 SO, IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF HERE... 544 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,516 ED, I'M ASHAMED OF YOU. 545 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,252 YOU GET RIGHT HOME AND TAKE CARE OF MYRTLE. HUH? 546 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,620 BESIDES, I'M NOT GOING ANYWAY. 547 00:22:58,644 --> 00:23:00,422 I HAVE A PRESCRIPTION I HAVE TO GET FILLED. 548 00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:03,958 AND... KATHY... 549 00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:05,794 YOU'D BETTER GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT YOUR PARTY DRESS ON 550 00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:07,763 BECAUSE I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OVER THERE AS SOON AS I GET BACK. 551 00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:09,464 YOU WILL? OH, GOODY! 552 00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:11,433 WHERE'S BETTY? BETTY! 553 00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:14,202 YES? WHAT IS IT, FATHER? 554 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,304 IF YOU'LL GIVE ME TIME TO CHANGE MY SHIRT 555 00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:17,672 WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE DRUG STORE, 556 00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,274 WE'LL GO DOWN AND TACKLE YOUR MR., UH... 557 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,909 HEH! KEEDLECOT. 558 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:23,678 OH, WOULD YOU? OH, I'D FEEL SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU WOULD. 559 00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:25,680 DEAR, I HATE TO HAVE YOU MISS OUT ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP. 560 00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,549 I WANT YOU TO GO. I KNOW YOU DO. 561 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:28,884 FINALLY. 562 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,420 AND, HONEY, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU. 563 00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:34,556 APOLOGIZE? WHAT FOR? 564 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:37,080 I HOPE YOU NEVER FIND OUT. 565 00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,632 MOTHER, DON'T YOU REALLY KNOW 566 00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,300 WHAT FATHER WAS APOLOGIZING FOR? 567 00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:47,235 OF COURSE NOT. 568 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,370 IT'S AMAZING THE IDEAS SOME MEN PICK UP 569 00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,562 WATCHING THAT TV BOX. 570 00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:01,182 George: OH, NO, NO. WHAT'S THAT AGAIN? 571 00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:04,653 OH, NO, NO, IT CAN'T BE! 572 00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:07,210 WE'LL, DIDN'T HE LEAVE ANY MESSAGE? 573 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,525 OH, NO! 574 00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:14,496 OHH! HAZEL! HAZEL! 575 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,097 OH, HAZEL, HE'S GONE. 576 00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,699 MR. SWINDLER CHECKED OUT OF THE HOTEL! 577 00:24:17,723 --> 00:24:19,501 HE'S GOING TO SOUTH AMERICA! 578 00:24:19,525 --> 00:24:20,869 HE HAS, DEAR? 579 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:23,271 OH, BROTHER, DID I PULL A LULU THIS TIME! 580 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,574 OH, DON'T WORRY, GEORGE. 581 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:28,877 DON'T WORRY? DO YOU REALIZE HE'S TAKEN THE PLANS FOR MY INVENTION? 582 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,045 (laughter) 583 00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:32,313 OHH! 584 00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,850 YOU MEAN THESE, DADDY? 585 00:24:34,874 --> 00:24:37,118 HUH? 586 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,587 WHERE DID THESE COME FROM? 587 00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:41,022 SOME OF OUR THINGS GOT MIXED UP, 588 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,124 AND MY ARITHMETIC PAPERS GOT INTO THE ENVELOPE 589 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:45,126 MR. SWINDLER TOOK WITH HIM. 590 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:48,051 UHH... HOW COULD SUCH A MIX-UP EVER... 591 00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:54,268 OH HO HO HO! (laughs) 592 00:24:54,292 --> 00:24:55,504 OHH! 593 00:24:55,528 --> 00:24:56,905 DOLL BABY! 594 00:24:56,929 --> 00:24:58,172 (both laugh) 595 00:24:58,196 --> 00:25:00,174 YOU'RE MOST OF THE MOSTEST! 596 00:25:00,198 --> 00:25:02,232 (laughing) 597 00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:06,748 (laughs) 598 00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:08,483 YOU GUYS, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD, WASN'T IT? 599 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:09,784 YEAH, BUT I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING. 600 00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:11,586 THAT TV SHOW WAS WAY OFF ITS BASE THIS TIME. 601 00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:13,354 THEY MADE GEORGE ENTIRELY TOO SMART. 602 00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:17,080 BELIEVE ME, WE FATHERS DON'T HAVE HALF THAT MANY BRAINS. 603 00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,189 (theme music playing) 45275

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