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Previously
on "Reginald the Vampire"...
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She gives me blood.
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She gives me kisses.
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00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:08,008
Put them together,
the perfect woman.
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Abraham was
a vampire of legend.
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He could turn a vampire
back to human.
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We found Abraham
in Spokane, Washington.
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It's not
what it looks like!
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I can explain!
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You know what you are?
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You're a disease.
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I killed Todd.
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I'm a liar, an asshole,
and a murderer.
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[bluesy music]
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♪ Sail on, brother ♪
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♪ Don't let go ♪
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Hey, friend.
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Buy a fellow traveler a drink?
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How do you know
I'm not from around here?
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You got the look of a man
who left home in the rearview.
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Billy.
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Reginald.
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That drink?
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♪ ♪
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♪ Hang on, brother ♪
26
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♪ Don't lose your way ♪
27
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I'm about two weeks left
from broke.
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Ah, plenty there
to wet our whistles.
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Two pints of your finest
bottom-shelf brew.
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So...
[chuckles]
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What's your story, Reginald?
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I don't really know anymore.
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Well,
cheers to not knowing.
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In fact,
every man's life comes down
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to that one pivotal moment,
like that crossroads
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with your name on it.
37
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Well...
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I think this is one
of those crossroad moments.
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Do you?
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I'm offering you
the opportunity
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to change the trajectory
of your life.
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How's that?
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[tense music]
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♪ ♪
45
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You play poker?
46
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♪ ♪
47
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Go on, then.
48
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I'm easy.
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Raise another 20.
50
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[country music playing]
51
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Call.
52
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♪ ♪
53
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Full------- house.
54
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Good hand.
55
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Not good enough.
56
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[sighs]
Straight flush.
57
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Hell no!
58
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That ain't right!
- The river don't lie.
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Yeah, you're just
some kind of card shark.
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Been playing me from the jump.
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The hell you think
you're going?
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[chuckles]
63
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I'm just a little farther
from broke than I was before.
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00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,256
And I got enough money
to buy everybody a beer.
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- Okay.
- All right.
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Y'all just gonna let him
walk away, this clown?
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After he cheated us
out of our money?
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Billy,
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00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,399
I don't like
being called a cheater.
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00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:03,835
I don't like
being called a clown.
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Give me back my money.
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Crossroads.
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That's what you said.
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You took a look into my wallet,
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you saw an opportunity,
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but it didn't turn out
the way you planned because--
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and this is really funny
when you think about it--
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the crossroads weren't for me.
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They were for you.
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Give me back
my goddamn money,
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or you'll pay me another way.
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[inhales sharply]
Ah, I can't do that.
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I finally have enough cash
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to keep myself going
a little longer.
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The only thing
you're gonna do
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is die where you're standing.
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[sighs]
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[tense music]
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The thing is, I can't die.
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It's impossible.
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00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,654
You wanna bet?
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00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,221
[laughs]
I think we've established
93
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,614
that gambling is not
your strongest suit.
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00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,834
[sighs]
Get it? Suit, like--
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I get what you're saying.
96
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No, you don't.
97
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When I tell you can't die,
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I'm not speaking a metaphor.
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I'm genuinely trying to share
an important fact with you.
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What the hell would that be?
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I'm a mother------- vampire.
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[dramatic musical sting]
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Oh, shit!
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Go, go, go!
105
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I'll take that beer, vampire,
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and a couple of minutes
of your time.
107
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Why?
108
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,221
You're just the man
I've been looking for.
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I think you have me mistaken
for somebody else.
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I'm no one.
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I've been watching you.
112
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It seems to me
you're here for some reason.
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What do you want from me?
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You're looking for something.
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I think I can help you
find it--
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uh, find him.
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A friend of mine told me
about a very legendary vampire,
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whose powers--
well, let's just say
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he can do things
other vampires can't.
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And I've been
searching for him.
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His name is Abraham.
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00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:03,390
And what do you want
from this Abraham?
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I want to ask him
an improbable question.
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Improbable?
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00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,350
Hmm.
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00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,874
I'm intrigued.
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Ah, it's personal.
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Say no more.
129
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I've been looking for clues,
including any other vampires
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who could help me.
131
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But you're not a vampire.
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I'm just Jenkins.
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00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,935
But I know
the vampire that you seek.
134
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I've been seeking him too.
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00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,591
Really?
136
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For what?
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It's personal.
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Say no more.
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[sighs]
140
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,819
Maybe between the two of us,
we could find him.
141
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,822
Oh, I already know
where Abraham is.
142
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,215
You just said
you were seeking him.
143
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,738
I'm pretty sure
you said "seeking."
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00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:51,351
I know where he resides.
145
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:54,441
The fact is,
I can't go in there alone.
146
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I'm not strong enough.
147
00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,882
Everyone who has gone
into that place
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has never come out.
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I get it.
150
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,191
Only a vampire can get
to another vampire.
151
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:09,760
[chuckles]
You wouldn't be the first.
152
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:13,285
Many vampires have
sought him out,
153
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,158
and every one has failed.
154
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,116
Then why me?
155
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,292
I need a hero.
156
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,426
[scoffs]
Okay, I'm no hero.
157
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,559
Oh, yes, you are.
I'm sure of it.
158
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:30,259
Look, "just Jenkins,"
I let down,
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00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:34,002
disappointed, betrayed,
deceived, and hurt
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00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,570
anyone who's ever meant
anything to me.
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00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,746
And as soon as I was finished
laying ruin to my life,
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I ran away.
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00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:43,577
So trust me when I say this--
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I'm no hero.
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Let's go, Reginald.
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00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,757
Time's a'wasting.
167
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:53,630
Did you not hear
a single word I just said?
168
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,458
Come with me,
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00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:58,548
and I will help you get
what you want.
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[ominous music]
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00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,988
♪ ♪
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00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:06,904
[distant dog barking]
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If I were
a vampire of legend,
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this is exactly the not place
I would not live.
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00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,916
Tell me, what is it
you're looking for, Reginald?
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What is
the improbable question?
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00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,094
Salvation.
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00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:26,315
Oh, big ask.
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00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,056
It feels like
it's my only chance.
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It's my only chance too.
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For what?
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00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,062
A new heart.
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00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:37,457
My current ticker
has a shelf life.
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00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:40,503
Big ask.
185
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:44,115
All right, Tin Woodsman,
let's do this thing.
186
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,859
[swinging jazz music playing]
187
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,861
Whoa. What the--
188
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:55,344
♪ ♪
189
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,958
[swinging jazz music playing]
190
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,264
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
191
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,961
Yes,
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00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:07,617
assuming seeing is believing.
193
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,053
This is it.
194
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,751
This is the place.
It has to be.
195
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,404
Agreed.
196
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,884
Although I do think
197
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:17,366
that you are
a tad underdressed.
198
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:23,503
♪ ♪
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There's no doors.
200
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No elevator.
201
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No stairs.
202
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:35,297
No way out,
except the way we came in.
203
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,125
I'm not leaving
until we find Abraham.
204
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:40,389
Of course,
the improbable question.
205
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,045
Hello.
206
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,699
Welcome to the party.
207
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:46,830
Who are you?
208
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,832
I'm Reginald.
209
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:52,401
Tell me, what is
this question of yours?
210
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,754
My life is not the life
I'm supposed to be living.
211
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,627
I need to go back.
212
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:03,543
Back to where?
213
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,370
According to legend,
214
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:07,416
there's something
only Abraham can do.
215
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,506
Oh? What's that?
216
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:11,855
He can make me human again.
217
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,902
[laughs]
218
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:17,948
That's a very big ask.
219
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,515
You want a heart.
220
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,909
Yes, one organ.
221
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:23,475
Well, I have to try.
222
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,217
What's so great
about being human?
223
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,176
First, you're born.
224
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,092
And then begins
the march towards death.
225
00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,484
I should know.
226
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,704
But is that so bad, though?
227
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:37,185
To have a finite amount of time
to live your best life?
228
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:38,665
I was better
being human anyway.
229
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,884
Are you sure about that?
230
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,973
I don't know.
231
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,193
At least I had practice.
232
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,413
But with practice,
233
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,678
won't you become
a better vampire?
234
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,898
With everything I've done,
I'm thinking not.
235
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:59,773
♪ ♪
236
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,689
[indistinct chatter]
237
00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:09,173
[ominous music]
238
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,436
♪ ♪
239
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,613
We didn't order these.
240
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,223
First drinks are always
on the house, gentlemen.
241
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:18,400
Well, isn't that cordial?
242
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:19,706
What can I do you for?
243
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,055
We're looking for someone.
244
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,317
Perhaps in this crowd?
245
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:23,492
Someone else.
246
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:24,798
He goes by the name of Abraham.
247
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:28,410
Of course, our famous tenant.
248
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,542
He's--he's here?
249
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,632
Abraham once lived
in the penthouse.
250
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,199
Lived, or lives?
251
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,027
He inspired many a legend.
252
00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,987
Really? Enlighten us.
253
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,816
Oh, there are
so many to choose from.
254
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,993
But I think it best
I stick with a classic.
255
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,605
Once upon a time,
a powerful creature ruled
256
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,955
over the kingdom of his kind.
257
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:54,305
He was a fair
and gracious leader,
258
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,568
loved by all.
259
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,876
But there were some
who wanted to take his power
260
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:03,488
and use it to satisfy
their own desires.
261
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,142
There was a man--
262
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:06,970
no longer a man--
263
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,407
who challenged him.
264
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,582
I know this part.
265
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,975
Logan the Putrescent,
266
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:14,151
the head
of the Vampire Council.
267
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,154
He hired assassins
to murder Abraham.
268
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,766
Killer after killer
came through these doors.
269
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:23,030
The attacks on Abraham
were relentless.
270
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,859
The best assassins
that money could buy.
271
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,295
Nikki.
272
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,384
Nikki was impressive.
273
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,386
She never made it upstairs.
274
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:33,823
I quite liked her. Pity.
275
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:36,652
Nobody got out alive,
except Nikki.
276
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,480
She had a partner,
didn't she?
277
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,047
Hard to keep track.
278
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,789
He had a patch of white hair.
279
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,660
Now that you mention it,
that does ring a bell.
280
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,053
So what about
the rest of the story?
281
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,489
What about Abraham?
Is he alive?
282
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,143
Perhaps.
283
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,101
Not quite.
284
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,407
Maybe.
285
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:55,410
Quite possibly.
286
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:58,326
I hope so.
287
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,545
Well, now I'm
completely confused.
288
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,985
♪ ♪
289
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,682
It's you!
290
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,902
It's him.
291
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,120
You're Stanley.
292
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:11,382
Who's Stanley?
293
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:14,559
Nikki's partner.
294
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:15,778
Man.
295
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,522
Hey, dude.
296
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,916
[elevator dings]
297
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,439
Was that elevator always there?
298
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,093
Maybe it's magic.
299
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,703
A magical conveyance?
300
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,271
Ha!
301
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,229
Did you see that?
302
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:36,538
I may be wrong
about its supernatural aspects.
303
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:44,764
We need to get
into that elevator.
304
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,504
Hurry, Jenkins.
305
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:47,897
That elevator's the only way
to get to the penthouse.
306
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,551
Yeah, we'll get there,
all right.
307
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,639
Okay, but if it can
appear out of nowhere,
308
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:51,683
it can disappear just as quick.
309
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,076
Let's go.
310
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,774
It's this damn
weak ticker of mine.
311
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,733
Okay, let me help you.
312
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,561
Sorry?
- See you next time.
313
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:00,649
Sure, I guess.
314
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,390
Come again soon.
315
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,174
Did you hear that?
Is that weird?
316
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,741
I think this party has
taken a turn.
317
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,482
Time for you to go.
318
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,789
Okay, seriously can't get
out of here fast enough.
319
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,443
No buttons?
320
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,881
How inconvenient.
321
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,970
- But there has to be a button!
- Nothing.
322
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,667
Wait.
323
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,147
I got this.
324
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:23,106
[big band music playing]
325
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:26,936
♪ ♪
326
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,068
Maybe not.
327
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,809
In my experience,
328
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:33,073
doors are best walked through
when open.
329
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,770
It's a magic elevator.
330
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,554
The usual law of physics
don't usually apply here.
331
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,905
[menacing music playing]
332
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:40,558
Hold on.
333
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,473
What is it?
[chattering stops]
334
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,171
The music.
335
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,476
It's different.
336
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:48,566
♪ ♪
337
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:50,003
Uh, I think we made them angry.
338
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,613
How so?
339
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,268
No idea, but it looks
like the party's over.
340
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:57,227
Thoughts? Plots? Plans?
341
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,229
I'm open to suggestion.
342
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,275
Unbelievable.
I get it now.
343
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,625
This is--this actually makes
a lot of sense.
344
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,627
- It does? How?
- Basic cytology.
345
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,368
Come again?
346
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,718
It's the analysis
of single cells in the body.
347
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,894
Ever since we walked in here,
all these people,
348
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:15,245
or whatever they are, have been
making comments about us.
349
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,508
Who are we? What do we want?
350
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,032
And now they want us out.
351
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,990
Yeah, well,
that much is clear.
352
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,470
They're like
white blood cells,
353
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:23,993
and white blood cells
kill viruses.
354
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,386
Well,
that's a good thing, huh?
355
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:27,170
- Not exactly.
- Because?
356
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,564
We're the virus.
357
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,480
Leave this to me.
358
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,786
This is supposed to be a party.
359
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,963
Let's dance.
360
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,574
Uh, maybe I could
tell you a joke.
361
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,402
I have millions of them.
362
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:44,100
I--tough crowd.
363
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,102
How are you doing?
- Not good!
364
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,625
Keep trying to distract them.
365
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,801
Try to get them out of sync!
- Will do.
366
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,629
Look, I must apologize
for this.
367
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:55,198
I abhor violence of any kind.
368
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,547
But--
369
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,636
ah! No!
370
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,029
Jenkins!
371
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,813
I'm afraid
I can't break free.
372
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,425
[grunting]
I say! No!
373
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,949
Save yourself, Reginald.
I'm not worth it.
374
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,169
You must go on without me.
375
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:12,520
No! No! I won't. I can't!
376
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:13,738
Listen to me!
377
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,436
You have the wrong guy!
378
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:16,567
I'm the virus!
379
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,787
I am the disease!
380
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,876
I don't deserve to ask
a legendary vampire
381
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,312
for some favor.
382
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,532
Let Jenkins go
and find his heart.
383
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:25,925
Take me instead!
384
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,275
Please, take me!
385
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:32,105
[dramatic music]
386
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,933
Somebody say something!
387
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,717
I'm kind of at the end
of my rope here.
388
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:40,896
Whoa.
- Whoo-hoo!
389
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,854
What? Wait, what?
390
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,076
[laughing]
391
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:50,601
I knew it!
392
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:54,910
Reginald, you have no idea
how long I have waited
393
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,565
for a heart as pure as yours.
394
00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,960
No, I told you,
you got the wrong guy.
395
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,352
I'm just some jerk-off
396
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,919
who's afraid
of his own failures
397
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,355
and blames everything
on everyone else.
398
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,314
[as Abraham]
Time to go, Reginald.
399
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,794
[as Abraham]
Your journey is just beginning.
400
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:12,449
[as Abraham]
Find me. Save me.
401
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,191
[as Abraham]
Be my hero.
402
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,063
[elevator dings]
403
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:20,022
[mysterious music]
404
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:26,115
♪ ♪
405
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,820
[whistling]
406
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,300
Oh, hey!
407
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,781
You're still here.
408
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:44,003
Not that I know
how "here" works.
409
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,830
[clears throat]
410
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:49,878
I'm friends with--
or was friends
411
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,575
with your partner--Nikki?
412
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,404
[tense music]
413
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:55,536
I'm Reginald.
414
00:16:55,623 --> 00:17:01,629
♪ ♪
415
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:12,379
Okay!
416
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:15,556
So you're a ghost--
417
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,993
or premonition?
418
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,516
Yeah.
419
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,866
I used to be human,
420
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,086
and I'm hoping
to become human again.
421
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:30,658
So, Stanley,
about your mission,
422
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:33,139
I think...
423
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,837
it would be worth reconsidering.
424
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,143
And yes, if you're wondering,
425
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,361
I do have
a personal interest in--
426
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,668
[elevator dings]
427
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:44,715
♪ ♪
428
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,021
Hang tight.
429
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,675
This is my floor.
430
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:53,811
♪ ♪
431
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,172
Welcome to Slushy Shack.
How may I help you?
432
00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,872
You're alive!
433
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,265
Am I?
434
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,570
Well, that's good.
435
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963
It's Frazzleberry Friday.
436
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:18,532
Todd, it's me, Reginald.
437
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,012
You know, I mop and I mop,
438
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,885
but this puddle,
it just won't go away.
439
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,235
I did that.
440
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:27,584
Why?
441
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,586
I was upset.
442
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,545
And you were hungry.
443
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,850
You took me for granted.
444
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,504
I'm sorry.
445
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:35,810
I was your friend.
446
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,551
Team Reggie.
447
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,030
And you made me your meal plan.
448
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,597
We can start over.
449
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,077
Can we?
450
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,384
Regi-round?
451
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,909
We weren't really friends,
were we?
452
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,998
Not really, anyway.
453
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:52,479
I glamoured you to like me.
454
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,915
That makes this okay?
455
00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,787
No. No.
456
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:59,921
You've always been
a hungry boy, haven't you?
457
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:02,489
Good time for a fat joke.
458
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:04,491
Let's get real.
459
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,581
Yes, you're a glutton.
460
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,584
You're a glutton
for punishment.
461
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,847
You make a huge mess,
and then you wallow in it,
462
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,632
begging for forgiveness,
because, "Oh, deep down,
463
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,112
I really am a nice guy."
464
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:19,462
Oh, boo------- hoo!
465
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:22,987
I almost forgot
what a jerk you could be.
466
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,946
How you made me feel
about myself.
467
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,861
Well, at least I own it.
468
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,863
I don't mope around pretending
to be one of the good guys.
469
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:29,907
You're a bully!
470
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,170
You're a murderer.
471
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:36,262
You win.
472
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,307
Fine!
473
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:39,482
You're right.
474
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,919
Is that what you want to hear?
475
00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:46,054
I thought I was one
of the good guys, but I'm not.
476
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:48,012
I lose control and I---- up
477
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:51,755
and I hate myself for it.
478
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,627
So you're right.
479
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:58,109
I, Reginald Andres,
am a bad guy.
480
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,372
Bingo.
481
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,896
[soft music]
482
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,158
[elevator dings]
483
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:07,641
♪ ♪
484
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,425
Weirder and weirder.
485
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,035
"What's the Story,
Morning Glory?"
486
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,907
"Bored in the USA."
487
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,518
Ooh, "Bad Together."
488
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,346
I gotta find out
what happened to me.
489
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:22,133
♪ ♪
490
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,353
Sarah?
491
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,052
Sarah?
492
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:30,490
Is it okay if I sit down?
493
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:33,188
Okay, I guess
I'll just sit then.
494
00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:37,758
You lied to me.
495
00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,586
I--I didn't.
496
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:40,978
You said, "Listen to me."
497
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,763
Okay, I might have said that.
498
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:46,636
You told me to forget
what I saw, to forget Nikki,
499
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,856
to forget everything
up until the next time we met,
500
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,640
and then it would all be fine.
501
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:51,902
I had to.
502
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,252
You didn't.
503
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:57,386
You were so angry, so hurt.
504
00:20:57,473 --> 00:20:59,997
I couldn't stand it.
I had no choice!
505
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:02,217
You could have told me
the truth.
506
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,219
You could have explained.
507
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:08,310
You could have been brave
and accepted what you've done.
508
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:11,661
Instead, you chose deception--
509
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:14,838
the weakest choice of all.
510
00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:17,928
It was to protect you.
511
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:20,757
You tried to rip the thoughts
out of my head.
512
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,544
You tried to steal them
and keep them for yourself.
513
00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:28,765
And now you sit here
in this place, in our place,
514
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:31,246
and you tell me
that you did it for me?
515
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,466
Do you know what you are?
516
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:36,947
You're a spider
spinning a sticky web of lies
517
00:21:37,034 --> 00:21:40,168
to protect yourself
from your own mistakes.
518
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,126
[solemn music]
519
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:45,347
I couldn't stand the thought
of hurting you like that.
520
00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:48,002
You think a kept secret
isn't going to cause pain?
521
00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:50,309
I see that now.
522
00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:52,441
If I could go back,
I would change everything.
523
00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:54,138
But you can't.
524
00:21:54,225 --> 00:21:56,619
Just admit it!
525
00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:57,968
You lied.
526
00:21:58,055 --> 00:21:59,796
It was all a lie.
527
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,059
Yes! I lied.
528
00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,104
Okay?
529
00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:06,629
I'm so sorry.
530
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:08,327
I will do anything
to make it up to you.
531
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,154
Please, Sarah.
532
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:11,982
Forgive me.
533
00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:17,553
I think I can do that.
534
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,600
[breathing shakily]
Really?
535
00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:23,603
You can?
536
00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:26,997
Yes, Reginald.
537
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,825
I forgive you.
538
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:33,917
♪ ♪
539
00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:37,051
See?
540
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:39,532
I can lie too.
541
00:22:39,619 --> 00:22:41,621
What? What do you mean?
542
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:43,405
Sarah!
543
00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:46,408
[ominous music]
544
00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:52,501
♪ ♪
545
00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,523
I remember this night.
546
00:23:14,610 --> 00:23:16,830
It's the night you prayed
for a better life.
547
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:20,355
It's the night
I became a monster.
548
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:23,271
Becoming a vampire didn't
rob you of your humanity
549
00:23:23,358 --> 00:23:26,143
as much as your own willingness
to betray it did.
550
00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:29,059
My whole life was in front
of me, and it got taken away!
551
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:30,800
[scoffs] Okay.
552
00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:32,367
What were you gonna do
with your life anyway?
553
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,587
Hey!
That's us you're talking about.
554
00:23:34,674 --> 00:23:36,719
You don't think I know that?
555
00:23:36,806 --> 00:23:39,026
Every time you ruin something
for yourself,
556
00:23:39,113 --> 00:23:40,157
you've ruined it for me too.
557
00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:42,725
I didn't mean to!
558
00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:45,598
It's just when the family left,
I stayed
559
00:23:45,685 --> 00:23:47,730
because I wanted to be
someone else.
560
00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:49,993
Yeah, the cool, slick,
561
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,561
swashbuckling hero
of his own story.
562
00:23:52,648 --> 00:23:54,955
No, only Keanu Reeves
can do that.
563
00:23:55,042 --> 00:23:56,435
He's amazing.
564
00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,698
He's so cool.
565
00:23:58,785 --> 00:24:01,875
Ugh, why--
why do I feel guilty,
566
00:24:01,962 --> 00:24:05,226
knowing that I ruined your life
when your life is my life?
567
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:06,401
I don't make the rules.
568
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,751
Truth?
569
00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:11,014
You weren't ever gonna change
on your own.
570
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:12,712
You were given a gift.
571
00:24:12,799 --> 00:24:14,714
But you were too weak
to honor it,
572
00:24:14,801 --> 00:24:16,498
too cowardly to own it,
573
00:24:16,585 --> 00:24:18,500
and too proud to learn from it.
574
00:24:18,587 --> 00:24:20,937
You could have explored
how being a vampire
575
00:24:21,024 --> 00:24:23,374
made you a better person.
576
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,726
But instead,
you used it to lie,
577
00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:31,252
to murder, to feed
your own ego and addiction.
578
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:33,341
You try being a vampire
and see how that goes!
579
00:24:33,428 --> 00:24:36,736
You didn't do that
because you were a vampire.
580
00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:39,129
You did those things
because you're an asshole.
581
00:24:39,216 --> 00:24:42,872
[somber music]
582
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:46,180
I heard that.
583
00:24:46,267 --> 00:24:49,096
So what do I do now?
584
00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:53,187
That first night,
you prayed for a refund,
585
00:24:53,274 --> 00:24:55,494
a lucky break.
586
00:24:55,581 --> 00:24:59,280
And believe it or not,
you got one.
587
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:01,282
I'm gonna have to pray again?
588
00:25:01,369 --> 00:25:04,590
It can't hurt.
589
00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:06,200
Ugh.
590
00:25:08,985 --> 00:25:10,944
Dear God
591
00:25:11,031 --> 00:25:14,121
and/or grown-up baby Jesus,
592
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:17,080
I have to go back
to the beginning.
593
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:20,736
Please, God,
or grown-up baby Jesus...
594
00:25:22,738 --> 00:25:25,567
Let me be human again.
595
00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:29,310
I don't want to be
a monster anymore.
596
00:25:29,397 --> 00:25:31,921
Let me be the man
I was meant to be.
597
00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:36,143
Let me be the man
that Sarah deserves.
598
00:25:36,230 --> 00:25:37,579
Amen.
599
00:25:40,451 --> 00:25:43,367
[whooshes]
600
00:25:46,370 --> 00:25:48,329
Oh.
601
00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:50,636
I was hoping we'd run
into each other again.
602
00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,376
Trail of bread crumbs,
am I right?
603
00:25:52,463 --> 00:25:55,075
Look, you're gonna lead me to--
whoa, okay, okay.
604
00:25:55,162 --> 00:25:56,990
Look, I know you can't
hear me or whatever,
605
00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:59,427
but what you're about to do,
I beg you,
606
00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:01,908
please, don't do it.
607
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,213
Leave Abraham alone.
608
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:06,652
[tense music]
609
00:26:06,739 --> 00:26:09,219
I am never gonna
get used to that.
610
00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:10,699
[elevator dings]
611
00:26:10,786 --> 00:26:13,876
♪ ♪
612
00:26:13,963 --> 00:26:15,312
Maurice?
613
00:26:22,929 --> 00:26:24,583
Reggie.
614
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:26,585
Reggie.
Reggie, where are you going?
615
00:26:26,672 --> 00:26:27,803
To stop Stanley from killing
616
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:29,283
the only person
who can help me.
617
00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:30,676
No, no, no,
we need to talk, man.
618
00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:32,068
You missed the assessment, okay?
619
00:26:32,155 --> 00:26:33,679
No one misses
the damn assessment.
620
00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:35,506
Everyone you know had
a target on their back.
621
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:38,335
Logan the Defecator
canceled his travel plans!
622
00:26:38,422 --> 00:26:39,902
You have any idea how many
hoops I had to jump through
623
00:26:39,989 --> 00:26:41,600
just to fix that?
624
00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:44,037
I begged for mercy, man,
and I do not like to beg.
625
00:26:44,124 --> 00:26:46,213
Nicely spun, okay?
626
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:48,171
Chilled to the bone.
But you know what?
627
00:26:48,258 --> 00:26:50,130
I don't have enough time
to be having
628
00:26:50,217 --> 00:26:52,741
another visitation from
ghosts of Christmas present,
629
00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:55,135
past, or whoever you are.
630
00:26:55,222 --> 00:26:58,007
[ominous music]
631
00:26:58,094 --> 00:26:59,356
Stanley!
632
00:26:59,443 --> 00:27:01,968
Wait! Don't do it! Please!
633
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,186
All right, who's Stanley?
634
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,323
And I'm not a damn ghost.
635
00:27:12,021 --> 00:27:14,371
No ghost.
636
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:16,199
Just me.
637
00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:19,028
So you're not a projection
of my subconscious mind
638
00:27:19,115 --> 00:27:21,248
who thinks I'm an asshole?
639
00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:22,858
I'm not a projection.
640
00:27:22,945 --> 00:27:24,381
I see what you did there.
641
00:27:24,468 --> 00:27:25,774
Well, the way
you've been acting lately,
642
00:27:25,861 --> 00:27:26,906
it's sort of hard
not to think--
643
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,734
Are you really you?
644
00:27:28,821 --> 00:27:31,127
Yeah.
645
00:27:31,214 --> 00:27:32,433
In the flesh.
646
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,261
[soft music]
647
00:27:34,348 --> 00:27:36,698
You would not believe
the shit I've seen.
648
00:27:41,050 --> 00:27:43,923
Hey, that's not
how elevators operate.
649
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,577
It brought me this far.
It can send me to him.
650
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:51,191
But how exactly
does that work?
651
00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:55,151
I'm thinking blind faith,
but that's just a guess.
652
00:27:55,238 --> 00:27:56,849
How did you even get in here?
653
00:27:56,936 --> 00:27:58,459
I took the stairs.
654
00:27:58,546 --> 00:28:00,374
I passed the test,
so you didn't have to?
655
00:28:00,461 --> 00:28:02,202
What about the ballroom?
656
00:28:02,289 --> 00:28:04,160
The bartender? Jenkins?
657
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,119
Look, I don't know
what you're talking about,
658
00:28:06,206 --> 00:28:07,424
but we need to get home now.
659
00:28:07,511 --> 00:28:09,470
I can't.
660
00:28:09,557 --> 00:28:11,602
Stanley may be
a figment of the past,
661
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:14,388
but I have to try and stop him
before he kills Abraham.
662
00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:16,477
- The Abraham?
- It's a long story.
663
00:28:16,564 --> 00:28:18,131
But the assessment's
in five days, man,
664
00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:19,741
and they're not gonna
reschedule again.
665
00:28:19,828 --> 00:28:21,787
We need to get back home.
666
00:28:21,874 --> 00:28:24,050
Begging for mercy
was a one-time deal.
667
00:28:24,137 --> 00:28:25,747
I'm not gonna do
the assessment.
668
00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:27,706
- You don't have a choice.
- Sure I do.
669
00:28:27,793 --> 00:28:29,316
If I'm not a vampire anymore,
670
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,231
there's no reason
for me to take it.
671
00:28:31,318 --> 00:28:32,188
What the hell will you be?
672
00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:33,886
Human!
673
00:28:33,973 --> 00:28:35,365
That's why I'm here--
674
00:28:35,452 --> 00:28:37,367
to ask Abraham
to make me human again.
675
00:28:37,454 --> 00:28:39,543
Reggie, look,
one thing I can guarantee you
676
00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:41,110
is that no one,
677
00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:43,634
not even Abraham,
can do that, okay?
678
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,507
He's not the Wizard of Oz.
679
00:28:46,594 --> 00:28:48,074
He's not God.
680
00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:50,119
The Wizard of Oz
was a congenial fraud.
681
00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,642
But God's on the menu?
682
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,427
I may have sent out a prayer.
683
00:28:53,514 --> 00:28:54,602
You said you were an atheist.
684
00:28:54,689 --> 00:28:56,735
I changed my mind!
685
00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:59,650
Maurice, I just--
686
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,740
I want to believe in something
bigger than myself--
687
00:29:01,827 --> 00:29:03,263
greater!
688
00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:04,612
You'll never find yourself
that way.
689
00:29:04,699 --> 00:29:05,831
I don't know what else to do.
690
00:29:05,918 --> 00:29:07,702
Change your point of view.
691
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,182
Okay, look inside.
692
00:29:09,269 --> 00:29:10,749
I already know
what's inside--
693
00:29:10,836 --> 00:29:13,403
a vicious, lying,
bloodsucking monster.
694
00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:15,754
Hey, nobody's perfect, okay?
695
00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:17,799
But that doesn't mean
you can't--
696
00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:19,148
Maurice?
697
00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:20,759
I-- I think we have company.
698
00:29:20,846 --> 00:29:23,196
[menacing music]
699
00:29:23,283 --> 00:29:24,937
That is some strange shit, man.
700
00:29:25,024 --> 00:29:28,027
A lot of strange shit
has been happening tonight.
701
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:29,506
I don't know
whether to fight them
702
00:29:29,593 --> 00:29:31,595
or to give them
Halloween candy.
703
00:29:31,682 --> 00:29:33,293
They're not
what they look like.
704
00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:35,599
Cliches that make
the rest of us look ridiculous?
705
00:29:35,686 --> 00:29:37,253
Ever since I got here,
706
00:29:37,340 --> 00:29:38,602
this place has been trying
to get rid of me.
707
00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:40,256
Attacking me like a virus.
708
00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:42,171
At first,
it was white blood cells.
709
00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:44,739
But now it looks like they're
bringing out the big guns.
710
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:46,349
They're not vampires.
711
00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:48,395
They're the badasses
of white blood cells.
712
00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:50,310
They're monocytes.
- Okay, then.
713
00:29:50,397 --> 00:29:52,747
What's the plan?
[elevator dings]
714
00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:54,488
Elevator.
715
00:29:54,575 --> 00:29:55,924
You've gotta be kidding me.
716
00:29:56,011 --> 00:29:58,535
40 whatchamacallit-cytes
on one hand
717
00:29:58,622 --> 00:30:00,886
and a burning hellfire on that?
718
00:30:00,973 --> 00:30:02,278
What is funny to you?
719
00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:04,150
- It's an obstacle.
- No shit!
720
00:30:04,237 --> 00:30:06,108
Why would it present itself
if it can't be overcome?
721
00:30:06,195 --> 00:30:07,675
No, no, I'm gonna hate
722
00:30:07,762 --> 00:30:09,111
what you're thinking right now,
aren't I?
723
00:30:09,198 --> 00:30:11,157
- Blind faith.
- That's crazy.
724
00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:12,811
Crazy,
but it's the only way out--
725
00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:14,160
or in, or up.
726
00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:15,726
I don't know, Reggie.
727
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:16,815
Trust me.
728
00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:24,257
[elevator dings]
729
00:30:24,344 --> 00:30:25,824
[laughing]
730
00:30:25,911 --> 00:30:27,564
You just pulled me
into hellfire, man!
731
00:30:27,651 --> 00:30:29,871
Blind faith!
We took a leap and we survived!
732
00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:31,351
No, don't ever
do that to me again.
733
00:30:31,438 --> 00:30:32,526
Don't worry,
I'm pretty sure hellfire
734
00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:34,354
is a one-time thing.
735
00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:36,225
There he is!
736
00:30:36,312 --> 00:30:38,184
- There who is?
- Stanley!
737
00:30:38,271 --> 00:30:40,577
We have to stop him
before he kills Abraham.
738
00:30:40,664 --> 00:30:43,406
Wait, you mean
Abraham's really here?
739
00:30:48,629 --> 00:30:50,979
[ominous music]
740
00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:52,546
We're too late.
741
00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:54,374
It already happened.
742
00:30:54,461 --> 00:30:57,072
♪ ♪
743
00:30:57,159 --> 00:31:00,946
Stanley was just a ghost
on a memory loop?
744
00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:03,818
Abraham never had a chance.
745
00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:06,081
I don't know, man.
746
00:31:06,168 --> 00:31:07,909
I mean, he's still here.
747
00:31:07,996 --> 00:31:09,345
He's not dust.
748
00:31:09,432 --> 00:31:11,434
Shh.
749
00:31:11,521 --> 00:31:13,088
Listen.
750
00:31:13,175 --> 00:31:16,178
[heart beating]
751
00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:18,137
He's alive!
752
00:31:18,224 --> 00:31:22,184
Yo, he stopped the stake
before it hit his heart.
753
00:31:22,271 --> 00:31:23,751
Damn!
754
00:31:23,838 --> 00:31:25,840
That's--that's skill, man.
755
00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:27,842
He didn't just stop
his own murder.
756
00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:30,062
He stopped time.
757
00:31:30,149 --> 00:31:31,498
He made all these obstacles
to protect himself
758
00:31:31,585 --> 00:31:32,716
while he was waiting for...
759
00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:34,849
What? The chosen one?
760
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,938
A hero.
761
00:31:37,025 --> 00:31:39,158
That's what Jenkins said.
762
00:31:40,811 --> 00:31:43,423
Maurice, it's you.
763
00:31:43,510 --> 00:31:45,294
You're the hero!
764
00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:47,035
Nah.
765
00:31:47,122 --> 00:31:48,471
Nah, I don't think so, Reggie.
766
00:31:48,558 --> 00:31:51,039
You are! You must be!
767
00:31:51,126 --> 00:31:52,258
Take the stake
out of his chest.
768
00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:54,129
It's the only way to save him.
769
00:31:54,216 --> 00:31:55,696
Look, there's no guarantee
that if I take the stake--
770
00:31:55,783 --> 00:31:57,176
Please!
771
00:31:57,263 --> 00:32:00,135
[anticipatory music]
772
00:32:00,222 --> 00:32:06,228
♪ ♪
773
00:32:14,367 --> 00:32:16,935
Shit.
774
00:32:17,022 --> 00:32:18,458
Nah, that's not--
that's not gonna budge.
775
00:32:18,545 --> 00:32:20,939
Try it again.
Put your heart in it.
776
00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:27,032
♪ ♪
777
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:33,647
[gasps]
778
00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:36,171
No, I'm sorry, man, that's--
779
00:32:36,258 --> 00:32:38,521
that thing is buried
in stone or something.
780
00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:41,437
Another dead end.
781
00:32:41,524 --> 00:32:42,873
Literally.
782
00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,530
Hey.
783
00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:49,315
You said
there's obstacles, right?
784
00:32:49,402 --> 00:32:51,404
But you overcame them all?
785
00:32:51,491 --> 00:32:53,667
Yeah, only to fail.
786
00:32:53,754 --> 00:32:56,887
It's like the story of my life.
787
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:58,933
But you write your own story.
788
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,198
Props
for the positive thinking.
789
00:33:03,285 --> 00:33:06,506
You need Abraham, right?
790
00:33:06,593 --> 00:33:08,856
And Abraham needs a hero.
791
00:33:08,943 --> 00:33:11,293
Okay, I'm with you so far.
792
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:12,512
It's you!
793
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:14,209
Me? What?
794
00:33:14,296 --> 00:33:15,515
Reggie, you're the hero.
795
00:33:15,602 --> 00:33:17,386
No, I keep telling everyone,
796
00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:19,214
I am not a hero!
797
00:33:19,301 --> 00:33:21,347
How do you think
you made it this far?
798
00:33:21,434 --> 00:33:23,697
You can do this, man.
799
00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:25,438
I know you can.
800
00:33:25,525 --> 00:33:28,354
[anticipatory music building]
801
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:34,447
♪ ♪
802
00:33:42,585 --> 00:33:46,328
[dramatic musical flourish]
803
00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:48,765
- [gasps]
- Yeah, you did it!
804
00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:50,071
You did it, man!
You really did it!
805
00:33:50,158 --> 00:33:51,638
You are the hero!
806
00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:54,249
Or, in fairness,
just a gifted amateur
807
00:33:54,336 --> 00:33:56,208
who was at the right place
at the right--
808
00:33:56,295 --> 00:33:58,862
[creaking]
- [gasps]
809
00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:02,649
[yawning]
810
00:34:02,736 --> 00:34:04,129
Whoo!
811
00:34:04,216 --> 00:34:06,653
Now that was a trip.
812
00:34:06,740 --> 00:34:08,742
Your voice.
813
00:34:08,829 --> 00:34:12,050
It was in Jenkins,
and the bartender too.
814
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:15,227
Just a couple beacons
from my subconscious mind.
815
00:34:15,314 --> 00:34:19,057
So the ballroom,
the bartender, the corridor,
816
00:34:19,144 --> 00:34:20,623
that was all you?
817
00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,147
If you're gonna have
a security system,
818
00:34:22,234 --> 00:34:24,192
might as well
make it interesting.
819
00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:26,281
But stopping time?
820
00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:29,110
I mean, that's a whole
new ballpark for vampires.
821
00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:30,677
Guess that's
what makes me a legend.
822
00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:35,551
But vampire is
only half my story.
823
00:34:35,638 --> 00:34:36,987
You want a drink?
824
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,380
I'm parched.
825
00:34:38,467 --> 00:34:40,904
[quirky music]
826
00:34:40,991 --> 00:34:42,776
[yawns]
827
00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:48,912
♪ ♪
828
00:34:52,438 --> 00:34:54,918
No.
829
00:34:55,005 --> 00:34:57,225
[chuckles]
830
00:35:02,752 --> 00:35:04,102
Rum it is.
831
00:35:08,062 --> 00:35:10,891
Okay, so if "vampire"
is only half the story,
832
00:35:10,978 --> 00:35:11,892
what's the other half?
833
00:35:11,979 --> 00:35:13,502
Ah!
834
00:35:16,201 --> 00:35:18,594
Whoo!
835
00:35:18,681 --> 00:35:21,467
I'm what you call a Nephilim.
836
00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,773
Half vampire, half archangel.
837
00:35:23,860 --> 00:35:26,472
So I got an extra
"whoo-whoo" in the tank,
838
00:35:26,559 --> 00:35:27,908
if you know what I mean.
839
00:35:31,390 --> 00:35:35,437
How is that possible?
Like, angels and vampires...
840
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:37,831
You boys are familiar
with the big book, yeah?
841
00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:39,093
The Bible?
842
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:41,487
That's the one.
843
00:35:41,574 --> 00:35:44,316
But there's a few details
that got left out,
844
00:35:44,403 --> 00:35:47,057
redacted by the faithful.
845
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,494
See, there are
two brothers, right?
846
00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:50,365
Cain and Abel.
847
00:35:50,452 --> 00:35:52,802
Always wanted
what the other got.
848
00:35:52,889 --> 00:35:55,153
So Cain slew Abel.
849
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:57,677
But that's not
the end of the story.
850
00:35:57,764 --> 00:36:01,594
See, God had some feelings
about that.
851
00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:04,336
So he went ahead
and resurrected Abel.
852
00:36:04,423 --> 00:36:07,904
And what did Abel do
with his resurrected life?
853
00:36:07,991 --> 00:36:10,994
He just went ahead
and killed Cain.
854
00:36:11,081 --> 00:36:15,738
So God, pretty good guy
on all accounts,
855
00:36:15,825 --> 00:36:18,698
he decided to resurrect Cain,
856
00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:21,353
like he did his brother, Abel.
857
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,313
And what did he get
for his good deed?
858
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,490
An endless cycle of murder
and resurrection,
859
00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:30,623
which became a pain
in God's ass!
860
00:36:30,710 --> 00:36:33,365
[soft dramatic music]
861
00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:35,628
So God,
862
00:36:35,715 --> 00:36:38,892
problem-solver
of the first order,
863
00:36:38,979 --> 00:36:41,373
divided the world.
864
00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:43,723
He gave Abel the light
865
00:36:43,810 --> 00:36:46,421
and Cain the dark.
866
00:36:46,508 --> 00:36:49,032
That's how vampires were born.
867
00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:51,861
Creatures of the night,
868
00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:55,038
descendants
of the first killer.
869
00:36:55,125 --> 00:36:56,866
And humans were
the descendants of Abel,
870
00:36:56,953 --> 00:36:59,608
the first victim.
871
00:36:59,695 --> 00:37:01,958
Story as old as time.
872
00:37:05,788 --> 00:37:09,575
So what are you gonna do now?
873
00:37:09,662 --> 00:37:11,185
I'm thinking Florida.
874
00:37:11,272 --> 00:37:12,665
Hey, trust me.
875
00:37:12,752 --> 00:37:14,057
You don't want to go there.
876
00:37:14,144 --> 00:37:16,364
[power humming]
877
00:37:16,451 --> 00:37:17,844
[flatulence]
878
00:37:17,931 --> 00:37:21,848
[laughing]
879
00:37:21,935 --> 00:37:24,111
Still works.
[chuckles]
880
00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:26,505
[plays piano keys]
Sweet.
881
00:37:26,592 --> 00:37:29,943
[playing gospel melody]
882
00:37:30,030 --> 00:37:31,814
♪ Ooh-hoo ♪
883
00:37:31,901 --> 00:37:33,729
What about Logan
the Capricious?
884
00:37:33,816 --> 00:37:36,341
♪ ♪
885
00:37:36,428 --> 00:37:38,212
That asshole still around?
886
00:37:38,299 --> 00:37:39,300
He took your seat
on the council,
887
00:37:39,387 --> 00:37:41,041
and he tried to murder you.
888
00:37:41,128 --> 00:37:43,826
Yeah,
dude's pretty messed up.
889
00:37:43,913 --> 00:37:45,785
But politics ain't for me.
890
00:37:45,872 --> 00:37:47,787
Too dirty.
891
00:37:47,874 --> 00:37:50,355
It'll make a monster
out of you.
892
00:37:50,442 --> 00:37:52,400
I think I'm gonna travel.
893
00:37:52,487 --> 00:37:54,794
Venice still above sea level?
894
00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:57,405
Yeah, it's hanging on
by a thread.
895
00:37:57,492 --> 00:38:00,713
Sounds like I'm gon'
get me on a plane.
896
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,976
Feed them pigeons
that perch on your arm.
897
00:38:03,063 --> 00:38:05,587
[mimics pigeons cooing]
898
00:38:05,674 --> 00:38:08,503
[laughs]
Whoo!
899
00:38:08,590 --> 00:38:10,810
I love that shit.
900
00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:13,378
But before I do,
901
00:38:13,465 --> 00:38:17,904
you saved me from an eternity
of my own self-imprisonment.
902
00:38:17,991 --> 00:38:20,123
Tell me, Reginald,
how may I be of service?
903
00:38:22,648 --> 00:38:25,694
I want you
to make me human again.
904
00:38:25,781 --> 00:38:28,262
Aww, shoot, dude.
[slams keys]
905
00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:29,655
Dude!
906
00:38:29,742 --> 00:38:31,874
Dude!
907
00:38:31,961 --> 00:38:33,485
Dude.
908
00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:34,964
Dude.
909
00:38:35,051 --> 00:38:38,359
[solemn music]
910
00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:41,623
Now, I'm the closest thing
to a god as they come,
911
00:38:41,710 --> 00:38:45,410
except for
the actual G-O-D himself,
912
00:38:45,497 --> 00:38:49,544
but that request you're asking
is way above my pay grade.
913
00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:50,806
Wait, wait, wait.
914
00:38:50,893 --> 00:38:52,765
You can't help me?
915
00:38:52,852 --> 00:38:54,506
Not with that, no.
916
00:38:54,593 --> 00:38:58,771
♪ ♪
917
00:38:58,858 --> 00:39:01,295
I--I came here for nothing.
918
00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:04,080
Define "nothing."
919
00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:05,778
Well--
920
00:39:05,865 --> 00:39:07,823
Pulling a sword
from a stone isn't nothing,
921
00:39:07,910 --> 00:39:09,956
historically speaking.
922
00:39:10,043 --> 00:39:11,653
And all those obstacles
you beat,
923
00:39:11,740 --> 00:39:15,265
no one's ever beat them ever.
924
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:19,748
And sure, life is gonna
test you, again and again,
925
00:39:19,835 --> 00:39:22,577
but I'm pretty sure
you're ready to pass every one.
926
00:39:22,664 --> 00:39:24,623
Look, I appreciate
the pep talk,
927
00:39:24,710 --> 00:39:26,668
but I don't usually test well.
928
00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:29,758
Now, I've met
a lot of vampires in my day,
929
00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:31,934
but I haven't met
anyone like you.
930
00:39:32,021 --> 00:39:34,459
Not once.
931
00:39:34,546 --> 00:39:38,637
And I know a thing or two
about that kind of difference.
932
00:39:38,724 --> 00:39:40,290
Hmm.
933
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:43,816
Hey, bright side,
934
00:39:43,903 --> 00:39:45,948
you kind of sucked at the whole
"being human" thing anyways.
935
00:39:46,035 --> 00:39:47,646
Whoa.
936
00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:49,256
And it turns out
that you might actually be
937
00:39:49,343 --> 00:39:53,260
the special kind
of vampire after all.
938
00:39:53,347 --> 00:39:54,392
Like the mother------- kind?
939
00:39:54,479 --> 00:39:55,610
Hey.
940
00:39:55,697 --> 00:39:57,003
I told you from day one.
941
00:39:57,090 --> 00:39:58,526
[sighs]
942
00:39:58,613 --> 00:40:02,878
[breathing deeply]
943
00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:04,489
[neck cracks]
944
00:40:04,576 --> 00:40:06,665
Maurice.
945
00:40:06,752 --> 00:40:08,884
Yeah?
946
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:12,366
You need to know,
your mom and your family,
947
00:40:12,453 --> 00:40:14,020
they're in a good place.
948
00:40:16,892 --> 00:40:17,893
Thank you.
949
00:40:20,983 --> 00:40:23,943
[sighs heavily]
950
00:40:24,030 --> 00:40:26,946
[soft music]
951
00:40:27,033 --> 00:40:32,255
♪ ♪
952
00:40:32,342 --> 00:40:34,040
Thank you, Abraham.
953
00:40:36,172 --> 00:40:38,523
You're my hero.
954
00:40:38,610 --> 00:40:42,091
You ever need anything,
I got you.
955
00:40:46,269 --> 00:40:49,925
[laughs]
956
00:40:50,012 --> 00:40:52,014
Rock on, Reggie!
957
00:40:52,101 --> 00:40:54,408
Go on with your bad self!
958
00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:56,715
Maurice, you take care
of him now!
959
00:40:58,368 --> 00:41:00,022
Whoo-whoo!
960
00:41:00,109 --> 00:41:02,503
[laughs]
961
00:41:02,590 --> 00:41:03,983
Whoo, it's good to be back!
962
00:41:04,070 --> 00:41:06,942
[upbeat rock music]
963
00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:12,992
♪ ♪
964
00:41:14,123 --> 00:41:16,561
I'm ready
to go home, Maurice.
965
00:41:16,648 --> 00:41:19,389
There's amends to be made
966
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:22,001
and mistakes to be corrected,
967
00:41:22,088 --> 00:41:24,264
but I'm ready
to face any challenge
968
00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:26,832
with a strong heart
and a steady hand.
969
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,531
That's impressive,
970
00:41:30,618 --> 00:41:31,967
even if a little over the top.
971
00:41:32,054 --> 00:41:33,882
[laughs]
972
00:41:33,969 --> 00:41:37,233
And look, um, I'm happy
you got your groove back, man.
973
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,974
[sighs]
974
00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:42,282
But Reggie, we still got
the assessment to deal with
975
00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:44,458
when we get back home.
976
00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,286
It's all copacetic.
977
00:41:46,373 --> 00:41:48,593
You know, it's all heaven-sent.
978
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,030
It's all deeply
as it should be.
979
00:41:51,117 --> 00:41:52,379
You sound just like Abraham.
980
00:41:52,466 --> 00:41:54,076
I love that big dude!
981
00:41:54,163 --> 00:41:55,774
[laughs]
982
00:41:55,861 --> 00:41:58,167
[sighs]
983
00:41:58,254 --> 00:42:02,171
Reggie, look, I believe
you can pull this off.
984
00:42:02,258 --> 00:42:04,043
Well, I believe
there's a chance anyway,
985
00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:06,001
but I gotta be honest,
986
00:42:06,088 --> 00:42:09,657
we are probably both
gonna end up dead.
987
00:42:09,744 --> 00:42:11,616
[laughs]
What is it with you?
988
00:42:11,703 --> 00:42:13,008
Always with the dark side.
989
00:42:13,095 --> 00:42:14,532
Nah.
990
00:42:14,619 --> 00:42:15,576
Nah, man,
I'm just trying to keep it
991
00:42:15,663 --> 00:42:17,143
as real as possible, okay?
992
00:42:17,230 --> 00:42:18,927
I'm your biggest fan,
and you know that.
993
00:42:19,014 --> 00:42:21,843
I just--
- You know what it is?
994
00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:23,323
You're a dad.
995
00:42:23,410 --> 00:42:24,977
Like, you're totally a dad.
996
00:42:25,064 --> 00:42:28,241
[both laugh]
997
00:42:28,328 --> 00:42:31,418
Well, don't worry, Pops.
998
00:42:31,505 --> 00:42:32,985
I got you.
999
00:42:33,072 --> 00:42:34,377
I'll think of something.
1000
00:42:34,464 --> 00:42:35,857
It's what I do.
1001
00:42:35,944 --> 00:42:41,950
♪ ♪
1002
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:46,550
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