Original subtitles

- I want you to look for the words,

reveal,

pretend,

and love in your readers tonight.

I want you to be able to spell them on Monday.

- [Class] Aww!

(soulful music)

- Oh, so grumpy!

I'll tell you what, if everyone does well

on their spellings, we might have a DVD next week.

(children cheer happily)

(school bell rings)

(soft piano music)

You okay Ardal?

Oh Ardal, that's lovely.

- I used a week's pocket money.

- Oh, why, that's far too much, you didn't have to.

- I did, it's important that you know how I feel about you.

- Well this is very special and I'll treasure it always.

Does this mean we're engaged?

- Well, I hadn't thought about, if you want to,

I suppose.

- Well, that's very sweet and I'll certainly

give it some thought.

You have a good weekend, okay?

- Yes Miss, I definitely will.

(lighthearted music)

- So, how was everyone's day?

- You're hoarse.

- Screaming at some kid with a crossbow.

- No! - Yeah.

Wee shite was off his head in glue

and trying to rob a news agent.

Had to go ahead to shooting everything.

- Oh, cool, did you waste him?

- That's not cool, Ardal.

No more cowboy films.

- No, he backed down an end tanker,

otherwise, I'd be sitting here with an arrow in me head.

- Where are these kid's parents?

- Mom, what age can a person get married at?

- I think it's 16, why?

Have you got some news for us?

- No, well, not yet.

I'll keep you posted.

(gentle guitar music)

- Come on Ardal!

You're dawdling.

- Hello Ardal.

Bought anything nice?

- Boots.

- Oh, lovely, they make you look very smart.

- They're cowboy boots. - Wow, very cool.

I got something special myself.

- Hello Ms. Purdy.

Oh my goodness, someone's a lucky girl!

That's gorgeous!

- Thanks Mrs. Travis.

This is my, oh, my fiance Pierce,

this is Ardal, one of my second classers, and his mom.

- [Mrs. Travis] Congratulations.

- Yeah, cheers. - Catherine, we done here yet?

The match is starting in 10 minutes.

- Well I thought we'd get a celebratory lunch.

- I think you've pleased me enough today as it is.

Come on, I don't wanna miss kickoff.

- Okay, bye Ardal, bye Mrs. Travis!

- [Mrs. Travis] Bye!

(paper crumples loudly)

(school bell rings)

- Now remember your spellings please!

Bye!

Bye Ardal!

Ardal Travis, come here please.

What's up Ardal?

- I see you're wearing his ring and not mine?

- Oh, it's complicated Ardal, someday you'll--

- How is it complicated?

He's not good for you, Miss.

- I'm sorry pet, go on.

- It's all right, you'll see anyway.

- What do you mean?

- Nothing, you'll just see that I'm the one that loves you.

- Oh Ardal, I know you do,

and you're very special to me too.

But sometimes grownups, we have--

- I have to go home Miss, bye.

I would've taken you for lunch.

- What?

- I would've missed the football and taken you for lunch.

- Come on woman!

Always the friggin' last.

(loud knocking)

Well hello there.

What can I do for you?

- Don't marry Ms. Purdy.

- Come again?

- [Ardal] I'm telling you, you're not to marry Ms. Purdy.

- And why is that then?

- Because she's mine.

- Oh, well, that is a dilemma.

- Don't laugh at me.

- Sorry pal, but you know, all's fair in love and war.

See, she told me you were just too short.

- [Ardal] She never said that.

- Yep, and that you weren't financially

stable enough to cater for her needs,

she's a high maintenance lady, you know?

- I don't know what that means.

- You will mate, you will.

- You talk stupid.

- Now, now, don't be getting--

- Meet me in a draw.

- A what? - A draw, just you and me.

Right in the Humboldt court.

Tomorrow, after school.

(giggling)

To the death!

(laughing)

Okay, so, what are we fighting with?

Swords, pistols, conkers?

- Pistols.

- Bye Jove, it's a date sir!

- See you there.

- And may the best man, or boy, win.

(giggling)

- What's tickled you?

- Oh you gotta hear this.

(gentle music)

(drums methodically)

Come on!

Oh, wait.

Gotta see this.

- What?

- [Pierce] I have an appointment with death, remember?

- Leave, don't be mean to him.

- Come on, I just want to see.

You can stay here if you like.

(soft, intense music)

Was beginning to think you wouldn't show.

- Where's your gun?

- Think I've forgotten it.

Silly me, huh?

- That's not my problem.

- Suppose not.

So then...

where's your, gun?

(laughs nervously)

That's not real.

- Yes it is.

- What's going...

Ardal, what are you doing?

- That's not...

now don't point!

It's not real, it's a toy, isn't it son?

- It's not a toy.

- Ardal put that down, now.

- And where would you get a real--

- My dad's a Garda.

- Hang on, guards aren't armed.

- The emergency response unit are.

- You couldn't have told me about this?

Jesus, now, do be careful wee man, just--

- Don't marry teacher.

- Just put that thing down and we can talk about--

- Say you won't marry Ms. Purdy, you don't deserve her.

- Why, you don't even know me!

- I know you're not good enough for her.

- Why?

- Because you're a dickhead.

- Ardal Travis!

- Sorry Miss.

- Are you just gonna stand there and watch

one of your second classers blow my head off?

- He won't.

- Have you not seen City of God,

get a fucking cop or something!

- Stay there Miss.

- Ardal please, put it down.

I'm going to have to put it on your report,

what will your mom and dad say?

- I told you I'd show you Miss.

- Now listen to your teacher, son.

- Tell her you won't marry her.

- [Pierce] I'm not gonna tell her that.

- [Ardal] Tell her!

(frightened groans)

- Just, just, just hold on there!

Don't, okay, okay, you can have her!

I never wanted to marry her anyway!

- Excuse me?

- She moaned constantly about it,

she did my head in, I thought putting a ring on her finger

would shut her up for awhile!

I don't want to be married.

Please, please, Ardal, Ardal,

please don't shoot me, please.

Get someone you stupid bitch!

(gun fires)

- See Miss?

- You dickhead.

- You little bastard!

- You come anywhere near him and I'll tell everyone

that you're a kitty fiddler.

Come on Ardal.

- Will this go on my report Miss?

- Maybe we'll keep this between ourselves,

but maybe you should give me that for safekeeping.

- Oh, God, that's very realistic, where did you get it?

- My dad was hiding it in his wardrobe for my birthday.

Nice, isn't it?

- It's certainly very pretty.

I'll just pop it in here for safekeeping.

Oh, what's this?

It's all right Miss,

I've decided not to marry you after all.

- Oh, why's that?

- I'm not financially stable enough

to care for all your needs.

And someone as nice as you should have everything she wants.

- Someday some girl's going to be very lucky.

- Nah, girls are stupid.

- Well we certainly can be.

Come on Romeo, I'll get you home.

(gentle music)

♪ Love goes down the drain differently ♪

♪ At the other side of the world to me ♪

♪ I still wait there, that's what I'll do ♪

♪ I'll keep a spare seat for you ♪

♪ I'll still wait there, that's what I'll do ♪

♪ And keep a spare seat for you ♪

♪ I follow in vain around ♪

♪ Your crumbling beauty ♪

♪ Has the bridge been burned ♪

♪ That draws the way home for me ♪

♪ My horse of Troy turned down ♪

♪ Where love lies out of bounds ♪

♪ I'll still wait there, that's what I'll do ♪

♪ And keep a spare seat for you ♪